Muslim grading system | Malik Elassal

[@mjmaccabee7252]

It took a moment for that "Let's pour one out for Kareem" to really hit the audience. Subtlest joke in the clip.

[@HQ4575]

Cultural differences, most Muslims probably saw the joke coming before 😂

[@sgtbaker2072]

Yea, I was waiting for him to mime passing a blunt around or something.

[@daphneeophelia2225]

Weird, I was waiting for something like that.

[@KT-dj4iy]

OK, on behalf of the non-Muslims in the (KZbin) audience, I'll ask: *_why_* is it the subtlest joke in the clip? That is, why is it a joke? That is, I don't get it.

[@SirNightmareFuel]

​@@KT-dj4iythank you.

[@ulalaFrugilega]

There is not enough of this man's stuff here on youtube, is my problem.

[@heatshield]

I know, and with the way youtube search is broken now, I just typed in his name and got four videos with him, one I already watched, a bunch of other comedians, some videos from other channel I already subscribe to that have nothing to do with him or comedy, some movies and other stuff. It’s like the system forgets what it’s even doing after the first few but it’s not allowed to stop so it just lists whatever it wants based on stuff I’ve done in the past couple days.

[@myousickoflife]

Seriously! Give this man a special

[@irumnageen2443]

Same problem

[@jhaimp.sullivan5618]

Literally. What TF I'm saying. Bruzzer . Please . 🙏 It's haram that there is not See 🙈

[@jhaimp.sullivan5618]

​@@myousickoflife👏👏👏👏 🤺🪄🗽🥀🥢 absolutely

[@withkindness9701]

in France we have Muslim Maghreb comedians and myself being Muslim I never subscribed to the way he spoke about the Maghreb community or about Islam but there I laughed so much thank you for this simplicity, this honesty, this frankness, finally someone who does not make fun of us but who makes fun of our faults in the finest and most elegant way

[@ulalaFrugilega]

Maybe it's because he's far away in different straits?

[@dynamicgecko1213]

I dunno. "Negative Allah points" and "you'll send me right to hell if you do that" sound like ridicule to me. He doesnt sound like he's muslim anymore. Although I dont know for sure.

[@NewYasmine-nl9jq]

Personne n'a demandé ton avis

[@baiapluka9737]

Très constructif ton commentaire@@NewYasmine-nl9jq

[@baiapluka9737]

Lis "L'amour c'est surcoté" de Mourad Winter une tuerie et on retrouve cet esprit là, ou "miskina" de Melha Bedia . But I fully agree

[@1hayes1]

He had his whole afterlife ahead of him.

[@yaakw]

😂🤣😅

[@whocares605]

the funniest part of this sketch to me is that when he says, "astaghfirullah" the subtitles say, "so stop for the law."

[@iloldthough6611]

This just described every muslim i know lmfao

[@stringlarson1247]

My friend just turned me on to Malik's work. I look forward to seeing more of him. I hope he has a good long career.

[@Hayanomie]

There's very little temptation in eating pork. Nobody's going around offering you pork and telling you it makes you feel high or have fun 😅

[@TragoudistrosMPH]

But talk of bacon, it's almost described the same way 😅

[@FactStorm]

But it's delicious.

[@RR-kz4hq]

Bruh nah not just bacon 🥓 but cooking everything in bacon grease

[@zeroworldcraft]

Bullplop! Pepperonis everywhere

[@jhaimp.sullivan5618]

Yet . Ironically ppl do . Bacon . 🤯 💥

[@pizzaparty9783]

HAHAHA! I tell my Muslim parents I drink, but I'd never tell them I eat pork! 😂😂😂😂

[@slapknees616]

I know ex Muslims who still would never eat pork even though they drink n stuff lol

[@pizzaparty9783]

​@@slapknees616 😂😂😂😂

[@eldeberryhamster]

Why?

[@jhaimp.sullivan5618]

Bruzzer.. haram bruzzer *shakes head @ haram

[@jhaimp.sullivan5618]

​@@eldeberryhamsterur basically eating urself. Their skin is like ours. And pigs eat anything.. and u r what u eat . Maybe someone else can help enlighten us . For I may lack the words or perspective in what ties into Muslim traditions as a whole .

[@LilyGraceySa]

That's so true, like I can see myself getting a tattoo but not eating pork.😂😂😂😂

[@jtarantula3390]

I love that the mustache is making a comeback, see it everywhere now

[@MangoBums]

good stuff, crowd had no idea

[@manuele.itriagom.728]

Living in Austria, I know maaaaany Muslims that party harder than anyone and not a single one touches pork haha it’s so bizarre to me

[@athklymqimtb]

It is not bizzare . Pork is useless , you dont get high and you disobey God. With Drugs atleast i am feeling great eventhough i am disobeying God.

[@FactStorm]

Shows you how religion has warped people's minds

[@BigCobra191]

It’s just weren’t raised to see pork as just an animal that we aren’t allowed to eat and it’s easier getting used to alcohol or drugs(not a lot though) than pork because even though pork is everywhere in Europe it’s just looks disgusting like eating human meat

[@SD-vy7gj]

Ok.. A few religions ban pork. Its because pics don't filter toxins out of their body, they store it in their fat. It's a defense against preditors. So what ever littral crap the pig eats, ur eating. Its considered a dirty meat because of this.

[@Minifigure17]

If a dude walked into my store absolutely cross faded and asked me not to use the pepperoni knife because Halal reasons, I'd laugh but i would also not use the pepperoni knife. Hell yeah brother i can use the halal knife.

[@K4R3N]

Malik is awesome

[@AsmaTauseef-t3v]

This is very true. For some reason we forgive alcohol but PORK omg thats too far

[@azmolhossain9244]

alcohol is worse sin .

[@tonytooshort]

This dude's fckin hilarious

[@xx7secondsxx]

SCHWAAYYYY!!!! When I worked at Pizza hut... we used the same slicing bar knife for all pizzas!!!!😳😳😮😮😬😬 except for Gluten free I think? I was ran over by a Ford F250 while walking home and was brain damaged SOOOO!!! Its hard to remember that one! GAWD do I miss working!!

[@boreduser12]

This is so true. It's so strange. I grew up in a country where there was no pork. So it's not like anyone was even talking about pork ever but somehow it's instilled in me to not use the same utensils or pizza boxes as the pork. Crazy.

[@aghoover]

Is the reason almost all muslims avoid pork successfully is that there are easy alternatives, such as beef and lamb, but there are no alternatives to alcohol, so it’s harder to avoid?

[@jackkraken3888]

That's a good question.

[@youraveragepasser-by7367]

i think it's a mental thing. pork is just seen as a huge sin regardless of which muslim culture for some reason, even though alcohol and drugs are equally bad if not worse

[@zensoredparagonbytes3985]

Muslims as well as Jews don't eat pork because it's prescribed in the Quran and the Torah. The practical reason was/is that pigs are scavengers. They're omnivores and eat everything. They also urinate and defecate where they eat. Which all together can cause transmittable diseases. Herbivores like cows and sheep also eat where they urinate and defecate, but their diet is plant based, so there is less chance to transmit any disease. Unless they are fed meat. Remember the mad cow disease? The cows were fed on a meat or protein based diet because they would grow bigger. That would transmit a protein based prion which caused the disease and could be transmitted to humans.

[@Jesterisim]

Hmmmmmmm that might be it

[@sacredrider]

It is rather a matter of social pressure. People offer alcohol and pressure you into drinking. No one forces you to eat bacon.

[@jhaimp.sullivan5618]

This guy is hilarious 😂😅

[@reffk5306]

as someone who got shunned by my muslim friends after i ate pork, the whole joke doesnt feel funny to me. ironically, most muslims doesnt even understand WHY they shouldnt eat pork. nor touching alcohol. both are actually allowed under special circumstances. yet they treated both like some sort of virus or disease.

[@TykoBrian7]

Well said

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

... most muslims don't*

[@51colibri]

Hearing this when I’m seating down to eat pork chops.😂

[@minarostai9335]

The pepperoni knife😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 sounds sooo familiar 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@chrisd2p2]

Thought Screetch died?!?!

[@realtalk675]

He is a lebanese canadian now 😂

[@tariqaslam1853]

Mad thing is he’s telling the truth. Most guys trip about the haram meat, smoking a reefer. Alcohol is not far off either

[@CapitalCityLiveMusic]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@jackkraken3888]

Lol drinks, smoke and has a moustahe instead of a beard, he's a modern day Muslim. 🤣 Dude looks more Jewish than most Jews. 😂

[@Yanzdorloph]

that's sadly very real

[@ShahidR82]

The irony of the truth behind this is amazing! lmao

[@Kenji1685]

My theory is that some ancient people noticed something important. That 100% herbivore mammalian grazing animals are less likely to have parasites transmissible diseases and food poisoning. This was before animals husbandry and controlling what your livestock ate. So it does makes sense in that time period.

[@angcil88]

I can comfirm i had muslim friends back then who used to do all kinds of drugs, drank whisky and stuffs but he never wanted to eat pork!! 😂

[@dennisdjy]

My man 100 grand. Drink? Drugs? Meh. Pork? Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

[@stiLLa2000]

lmfao man you need to be so much bigger - you are the muslim ari shaffir i swear

[@bendassut9468]

hahahah the only thing my dad don't do, to this day, is eat pork lol

[@JoeyP946]

I freaking love pork. I'd eat it every day if I could

[@StormCrownSr]

Eat pork. It's fine. The real danger? Real good vodka. The stuff that doesn't even taste that strong until you're waking up having no idea how you got there.

[@felixvergara5627]

Pork is so good though, LOL...

[@x3a3x3]

Wait until you try a bacon cheeseburger bro.. 😆

[@jackkraken3888]

Problem is its too fatty..

[@byanymeansnecessary9329]

We have beef bacon, don't need swine

[@someperson7]

I'd just like to point out that you could eat pork free at a kosher deli🤷🏻‍♂️

[@byanymeansnecessary9329]

Hell no, not eating that nasty food and giving them my money for it. Rather vegetarian or fish

[@Me-ui1zy]

@@byanymeansnecessary9329 Its meat, its not any different than beef or lamb in any real way (It does taste different). If you don't want to eat it, don't. But don't act like there is some great moral reason why these laws exist in Islam, Judaism and Hinduism.

[@maedehni7135]

Hit home real bad…

[@kasondaleigh]

😂😂

[@LANDSEAAIRCANADA]

Never eat any Animal smart or smarter than a Dog🐷

[@BR-KK]

Captagon or baby back ribs? I’ll take the ribs every time.

[@lahleholivia7398]

Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 253 Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do not laugh a lot. Much laughter kills the heart."😂

[@SometimesMyself]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm, pooooorrrrrk.

[@nigelsmith3719]

That's good because there are hard drugs in pork.

[@spatadia]

A smart allah would have simply not created pigs or alcohol.

[@CanadianBear47]

bro thats hilarious af i love muslim ppl that party bro i am straight edge af i dont eat pork tho can i have bumb lols