My 18 Year Old Moved Out And Won't Talk To Us!

[@TheRamseyShow]

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[@writingonthewall3326]

U totally ok boomerd this one

[@HeyCuteEarrings]

This was only partially financial advice. The rest was misinformed social counseling about a situation Dave had very little understanding of.

[@5yogurt]

Dave sometimes you miss the boat entirely. You think other families taking people in is a bad thing. Some families are very dysfunctional and for some reason you overlook that. I can't take you seriously sometimes.

[@sagewiz5675]

I saw myself in the kid's story. I left my parents at a young age and my reasons, simply put, were death by a thousand cuts. I couldn't bare them any more, all they ever cared was my grades and they were never there to connect emotionally. Long story short, I left never to look at them again after a heated verbal exchange. I got my self through school and college by working three jobs. I have nice career that pays 120k and I am doing better than I deserve. The best decision I ever made was to never see them again. Some people don't deserve to have children, because they believe providing food and shelter is enough. The mother needs to look deep into her soul and figure out where she went wrong, her demeanor was very reminiscent - "it's all about her" ...She just made her son an addict in the public's eye based on suspicion...It is reflective of the kind of mother this poor kid had to endure.

[@adrianna48]

At 18, My son had a choice; to work or go to school. Going to school allowed him to remain in the home. If he worked he had to hand over 200.00 a month. At 21 I told him it was time to be the man he wants to be for himself. The day he moved out, I gave him 2k to move out with. He was shocked when I told him it was his money I’ve saved for him, he hugged me and we laughed in tears. We have a healthy mother/ adult son relationship 🌷

[@jordanselby44]

As a 25 year old who had moved out at the age of 16, and been criticized for it by many who dont know how my childhood was, i can tell you it was the best decision of my entire life.

[@lynetterice8413]

@Jordan Selby Good for you🙏🏾❤🙏🏾👍🏾👍🏾

[@DoctorRickSanchez]

Thats great man but, it's not that easy for every single young 16-20 year old or even some 25 year olds in the world you do realize right?

[@Leo-bt5mz]

Everyone I know who left their family early turned out better than those who stuck around late.

[@yaykruser]

How you leave at 16 without being homeless.

[@gent2205]

@@DoctorRickSanchez it's not easy for anyone to move out without financial support. But for some people it's necessary. I moved out when I was 18 too because my household was very abusive and manipulative and I had to get away from and figure out who I was. To imply that his/her moving out was easy is kind of an insult.

[@clair233]

He 'ran away'at 18? There's a reason why young adults leave and its hard for people to comprehend this.

[@ericsingh2588]

hes 18 he can do what he wants right

[@ir10031981]

@Johnny Five amen! you hit the nail on the head, why should it be shocking that he/she lives on his/her own at 18? that's the age when adult life begins.

[@wuahwuahwhore]

I am so surprised at this call. I am Mexican and as a culture we are pretty controlling as parents. I have 2 white friends who’s parents pretty much kicked them out whenever they turned 18, so my mind is blown right now because I was under the impression that as a culture white people were like that. My other friend is from Spain and she still lives with her parents but has all freedom of an adult and I envy her so much /: rent is too expensive where I am to move out so I’ll continue living with my controlling parents and save on rent 😅

[@jimcole6423]

@charles sanchez the runaway is not mature.

[@anonamous365]

He was our play puppet for 18 years

[@takforce06]

He’s 18... 4.0 student... No addictions... AND he doesn’t want to live with his parents? Something is WRONG WITH THE FAMILY

[@Mkx56]

takforce06 THATS a Christian family.

[@billbergen9169]

@@Mkx56 That's not a real christian family

[@Darkstalker212]

Obviously lol

[@Wakester115]

Nah she said she suspects so but isn’t sure

[@Ricksfitness]

@@billbergen9169 real Christians don't force there children to live with them. At the age of 18.

[@veraserah]

A girl my year in high school did this; turned 18 and moved in with a friend's family during senior year of high school. Her mother had her as a teenage pregnancy so projected a lot of strict regulations on her growing up - no contact with the opposite sex, literal powerpoint presentation on any guy she was considering dating, calling her internship work place to see whose car she was arriving at work in (I drove her once and she got in trouble since her mom didn't know my car). She took off the moment she turned 18 and worked her ass off making money through graduation and had to get with lawyers to prove she was emancipated so that she could get financial NEED based aid for college at CORNELL. Her job during college made her enough that she didn't get financial aid her next few years until graduation, and during her work she met her now godmother (who happened to be from old money lol) who took her in and gave her the listening ear she never had. I'm sure her mother thought she was doing drugs and promiscuously getting herself in trouble too lol

[@wendybryan6071]

So sad that her mom is such a clueless emotional mess. I wonder if they're still estranged.

[@louannerber632]

Dave, There's more to this story than meets the eye. Why would an 18 year old completely cut off his entire family? Let's get the SON'S point of view.

[@tommycastro9424]

The only friends I’ve had that did this had parents that were out of control. No son or daughter would pass out free rent unless the house is stressful to his health

[@t.8409]

I would have agreed a couple years ago, but I experienced this kind of drama with my son when he turned 17. After having a conversation with the parents' home he went to, i found out he lied to the other family about our family. That other family simply didn't have any rules and he wanted to be a part of it.

[@tommycastro9424]

L. S. That’s cause you failed as a parent in his environment or surroundings. Bad influences will circle in his life when your not there so you need to make sure he goes to a safe school and see who he’s with

[@t.8409]

@@tommycastro9424 I can't agree with you on that. God gives us all the ability to make our own choices and at age 17 my son wanted to run away to live with his girlfriend. The girlfriend's parents allowed him to stay there with their daughter as if they were adults...what 17 year old boy wouldn't want that...so I agree that his environment played a part but not his home...and as far as "being there". I was there...at every game, parent teacher conference, boy scout meetings, etc.

[@graceandglamor]

What does the son’s point of view have to do with what the parents do with their money?

[@t206kid]

18 year olds dont run away. He is an adult. I'm sure there is so much more going on

[@ruraljefferson3176]

t206kid He ran away in May 2019. He moved out in June 2019. He doesn’t turn 19 till July 2020. That means he ran away and then moved out at 17 when he was still a minor they were legally responsible for.

[@Elcherino123]

Parents probably treating poor child like $hit

[@battlebuddy4517]

Yo Bo that sometimes the case

[@Ivana9910]

it sounds like he burned out and doesn't know what to do with his life right now. I'm sure he will figure it out after some time.

[@WoWo37]

His grades started tanking. He's probably on alcohol or drugs.

[@jlarue6970]

“He left our home...” (holds back tears) “What is your household income?”

[@ArikaChennelle]

😂😂😂😂

[@maycinquiterio3575]

Im dead 😂

[@kenya1067]

😂😂😂

[@LL-xx4iq]

Beans and rice, rice and beans

[@millevenon5853]

@@LL-xx4iq are you African?

[@elund408]

I love parents who run a "my way or the highway" household then get upset when the child chooses the highway.

[@ron5977]

So true!

[@annalammers9978]

Exactly. My stomach is churning listening to this which tells me my gut says there something wrong here and there is way more to it than that. I would love to hear the son's side of the story.

[@jeffr9854]

@@annalammers9978its very possible she’s not telling the full story but there’s also a good chance that other set of parents helped drive a wedge by telling the kid he’s the victim and his parents are the problem and that’s sadly very appealing to young people that are having depression, and depression is very common among teenagers. It happened with my daughter when she was in high school and those other parents caused a lot of added problems in our household. She’s 22 now and embarrassed about the way she acted and I don’t blame her. We should have done a better job of showing how much we loved her while not giving in to her tantrum, but I do also blame other adults that know nothing about raising children for making her feel justified in her behavior and just assuming it’s the parents fault.

[@annalammers9978]

@@jeffr9854 That's a fair point. Thanks for showing me another perspective.

[@cynthia-jo1zz]

Worse for a mother now...mothers are the reason kids are growing up, finding themselves narcissistic as a coping mechanism from trauma and mental fog they dealth with... Worse for a mother to be an enabling of the narcissistic father

[@damianmurphy-morris1941]

it pisses me off how some narcissistic parents cry to everyone how much they miss their kids but are a huge part of why they left.

[@candirockstar135]

Yea a big red flag is their seeming assumption they have NOTHING to do with it.

[@ShadeMiller]

@She Wolf some parents are too overbearing and controlling..just saying

[@---gi4sr]

it's a power trip, once narcissistic parents see that their kids don't need them they become nicer in order to get their kid back

[@Shay4YourMind81]

I completely agree with you on this.

[@williamjones7718]

That the first go to was to disown the son tells the heart of the story. I wish the son well, and hope he has the strength to carry on. Let the dead bury the dead.

[@anthonykelly1368]

I’m in my 50’s. I left my parents’ house at 17. For good reason. That kid had a reason to leave; may have been good or bad. If the parents don’t know the reason he left, they’re either delusional or liars.

[@josephkraus]

What type of reasons?

[@gamatoutsikos]

I know a person who left the house at 17. He is much older now. Suffering from bipolar disorder, maybe other mental illnesses as well. How can you be so certain the parents are delusional or liar?

[@Tj-fz3pp]

@Sonja Ilic they’re probably Mormon you know all of them live in Idaho and Utah

[@jameshorton3692]

@@sonjailic5770you made a lot of assumptions. However, I hate to break it to you but parents can and should control their kids’ sex lives while under their roof. You sound like a massive groomed. Sad and scary.

[@charlesmartin_thenegotiator]

Exactly

[@homesweetsc]

“He broke into our home twice” is how she describes him going to their house to pick up his stuff while they weren’t there?

[@2legit2Kwit]

Lydia Smith exactly. Gimme a break

[@r8wells]

Lydia Smith it’s possible the house was locked up and not having a key because he moved out, he would have to break in.

[@katrinasamuels-garrison825]

He moved out. His choice and doesn't want any relationship with his parents. It's not his house any more. He broke in.

[@Knider85]

Lydia Smith Exactly.

[@MrBrian987987]

Hmm. Called the cops on him.

[@JM.5387]

When she said she called the police to bring him back "forcefully" it sent chills down my spine. This kid escaped an abusive household, by the grace of God.

[@dante340]

She didn't even mention one single thing they might've possibly done to drive him away... Just listening to this woman for a few minutes gave me anxiety, she sounds selfish and controlling.

[@Elizabeth-yg2mg]

Exactly--"My way or the highway and what you feel doesn't even count."

[@MouseRata]

Yup 👍

[@train_xc]

Her 3 children didn’t move out, but the youngest one does. This gives the lady credibility

[@Keylimelife]

The son won't even speak to his siblings. That's a huge red flag for the problem being on his end.

[@joaqueen]

@@Keylimelife he’s 18 he’s not obligated to talk to any of his siblings. whatever happened to y’all’s “we are a free country” ??

[@spyscy]

As soon as she said “the family he’s staying with claims to be the safe house,” I knew we weren’t hearing the full story about the rules and regulations at their house

[@Elizabeth-yg2mg]

Whoa--I missed that; will re-listen.

[@Joshua.Lord1]

FAX

[@Taylor_5724]

yes 100%

[@AudreyPerry]

Yeah something is off here.

[@KevinG-159]

@@Elizabeth-yg2mg Me too, she's speed talking and didn't catch most of it. LOL

[@XXgamemaster]

The caller starts off by saying that their son no longer wanted to live by their “rules” and so he left. Let’s be real. It’s not normal for an 18 year old to abruptly leave the home and cut off their entire family. To me, that indicates that the guy’s parents are highly manipulative and narcissistic. I’m frustrated that Dave and Dr. D didn’t press for more information as to WHY they think their son decided to leave instead of letting her play the victim. Sad.

[@rvufo]

JC Tutoring exactly.. who would want to leave mom and dads house when you could live with them and save money? clearly there’s something wrong with the parents.

[@ME-xe4sk]

Perhaps the child didn't like the rules. A lot of children out here these days are disrespectful, disobedient, ungrateful, & entitled. I'm a mother of 2 adult children, 1 is responsible the other isnt, guess which one got kicked out.

[@XXgamemaster]

Melissa VE That is possible, although just because you have rules in place doesn’t mean they’re reasonable or justified. Some parents simply take it too far, which I suspect happened based on how he left.

[@RochelletheRealtor]

I’m sure they know the backstory. It would be too risky for Dave to answer this question without knowing more than she’s said on the radio.

[@prochorus1833]

Melissa VE we don’t know the whole story, and neither does DR. All I could think listening to this was my own situation a decade ago - my alcoholic father made several “rules” after I came out. He wasn’t religious, just conservative. Today, I’m a successful, responsible, productive member of society - but it took far longer to get here than it needed to. The saddest part of all was the damage done to my relationship with my younger sister, whom I wasn’t allowed to communicate with after I left. Not all 18 year olds are the same, and not all parents are either.

[@BeardMan01]

I moved out at 16. This doesn't 'just' happen. They did something to him, and they are incapable of taking accountability.

[@scottbrowder8304]

i've seen it both ways. i've seen people move out becuase their parents were assholes charging their teenagers rent and having stupidly restrictive rules. at the same time, i've seen kids run away when their parents only rule was simply no drinking or doing drugs in the house.

[@BeardMan01]

@@scottbrowder8304 Then the parents still failed. Too much structure is just about as bad as not enough.

[@scottbrowder8304]

@@BeardMan01 agreed

[@joaqueen]

Congrats for making it! Moving out at 16 used to be my dream. I’m 19 now and I’m moving out soon a month before I turn 20 and FINALLY leave my family. I’m happy for ya!

[@papabeararms310]

So the son was porn addict and they said no. Or decided he wanted a boyfriend and no church. See how assumptions work?

[@EastCoastReefer]

Man, this lady can talk. Imagine the “conversations” this young man has endured

[@Jdb63]

I wouldn't be able to live in a house with her either

[@nickderose9420]

I feel bad he had to deal with that for 18 years

[@HermanWillems]

It's probably an introvert guy, Straight A student who hates people who "bla bla". And is not allowed to express his own opinion or views. For such person, such home is like a PRISON.

[@michaelkensington2494]

Yeah wait and see how long it takes before his new famy kicks him out or he leaves because he cant follow their rules.

[@shammydammy2610]

@@morebrainmoregains3234 Nope. I'm not a zoomer and I agree with this thread

[@jaysonwyble6391]

I did the same thing at 18. My mother sounded just like this, so easy to act like the child is the only problem. Truthfully there was quite a bit of abuse both mentally and physically. We didn’t speak for years, and I built a life for myself without them. We have finally started to rebuild the relationship, but it won’t start for this family until momma quits acting like her 18 year old is a little baby. She is certainly not giving the whole story.

[@slicksteve22]

Johan w nah bad kids are a result of bad parenting. Just like a animal.

[@turnertwist]

Agreed. I moved out a week after turning 18. My mother was too controlling and I just wanted to have my own life. She begged me to come back, and despite the challenges of being a broke young adult in the real world, I wouldn't trade the independence for anything.

[@dwightk.schruteiii8454]

Johan w Kids, when adults, are a direct result of the parenting. So yes, almost ALWAYS.

[@mstzydeco]

You was the scapegoat

[@redwall1521]

@@slicksteve22 Not always. It also depends on the kind of people you hang out with. I guess it also depends on the neighborhood too. It's much easier to change a "normal" kid to doing bad stuff than the reverse, so if you're in a friend group and one person starts taking hard drugs or committing small crimes, you can be sure that friend group will fissure in the future.

[@deuteriumjones]

She sounds like a master manipulator. “Broke in” probably meant getting his social security card and birth certificate because they wouldn’t give it to him.

[@kaywinter5821]

My thoughts exactly!!!!! I do understand I had to get a replacement SSN card and only have a copy of my birth certificate😞

[@Kidsinamerica]

OR - he's picking-up his own possessions without contacting his parents.

[@deuteriumjones]

@@opsgreg8392 and?

[@deuteriumjones]

@@opsgreg8392 if your point is you don’t like me, I guess you win. I don’t have a problem with that. Go right ahead.

[@deuteriumjones]

@@opsgreg8392 I’m this many 🖕

[@jfloyo11]

Lol 5 minutes into the video and they still haven't asked why he left. Hope this kid grows up to be a successful millionaire with a loving family of his own.

[@ashllena]

There are 3 sides to every story: hers, his, and the truth.

[@grandmastergyorogyoro532]

Well Said! Agreed

[@annabella2528]

I was thinking the same. I don't talk to my mom for very very good reasons! And she's very aware of those reasons. 😪 but maybe these friends got him into drugs...

[@ChipZilla69]

@@annabella2528 I'm with you on this.

[@yosuar1986]

I always question when people say family values ....... like can you elaborate please ?

[@ashllena]

anna bella I agree. It’s definitely possible he may be into drugs and down a bad path. Then on the other hand, his family may be dysfunctional. We’ll never know!

[@kishajones841]

I don’t understand how they went through this entire call, and offered advice without once asking her what her son has expressed his issue is! I think that’s very important information to have!

[@lotuswolf1518]

Toxic abusive parents, he wants mental peace

[@abacab87]

Dave grew up in an era of the "parents are always right and can't be questioned." Dave is a bit toxic himself, saying he would cut off his kids of their inheritance if they weren't Christian. I'm guessing he also only has one or two flavors of protestant in mind.

[@funfact7188]

@@abacab87 100% Dave has a very strict view of what is correct and is controlling as fuck. Even his company has rules that you can get fired if you get pregnant outside of marriage

[@abacab87]

I have a friend who got his girlfriend pregnant and he teaches at a catholic High School, and even that didn't get him fired, and he didn't have a shotgun wedding, although he did eventually marry her.@@funfact7188

[@paulab984]

They're addressing one piece. They have 2 minutes. Geez...

[@DelaV3]

I was the 18 year old that did the same thing. It had nothing to do with drugs it was to get away from an abusive environment. I’m 40 now and still have limited to no contact with my parents. This lady is leaving out some info I think.

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

Yep, same situation for me and I can tell she is withholding information. She sounds just like my mom when I finally hear what she’s been saying about me!

[@label1877]

@@Jaxmusicgal23 Oh, you were expecting perfect parents?

[@grxngegrxdge5357]

@@label1877 some people shouldn’t be parents if they can’t do the bare minimum like not being abusive

[@Joshua.Lord1]

I am in the same boat, left my parents, graduated. Got married, they did not come to either and I do not talk to them. Best decision I have ever made. That lady is leaving so much out, rather not intentionally, they should have pressed for more info.

[@Howdy1957]

Not all the facts!

[@gretchengoestonebraska]

‘Our younger daughter is the executor.’ So she is the golden child and he is the scapegoat.

[@NonyaSmith]

Ding ding ding! Yep, mommy starts right out of the gate with the financial power she has, how bad her son is, and how he won't get any of it because he refused to conform or be controlled...at 18yrs old. I'm sorry, lady, I guess the audience missed the part where your son is pissed off or fighting to get your precious money all while not wanting anything to do with you. Lol. She needs a shrink to show her how she's so BLATANTLY creating division between her children; sister is "good", so she's executor, brother is "bad" so gets the punishment of getting nothing AND his sister being able to execute the will. This is soooo typical of narcissistic abuse.

[@paulab984]

How on earth do you deduce all that from that statement?

[@gretchengoestonebraska]

@@paulab984 when you grow up with a parent who is a narcissist you learn the way these people operate.

[@prissylovejoy702]

@@gretchengoestonebraska Annnd because it happened to you that automatically makes you the expert I determining what is going on in other peoples lives. Got it.

[@gretchengoestonebraska]

@@prissylovejoy702 no. What happened is, I watched a video, formed an opinion and posted it in the section where the hosting company solicits and allows comment. For some reason you read what I said and started sulking.

[@MBarberfan4life]

There’s more to this story...

[@robedmund9948]

Yup. She's not giving the whole story.

[@Ivana9910]

She gives off some narcissist flags to me. She calls in to a financial show for emotional advice because she respects him. She calls to make a show of what a victim she is without hard, concrete evidence besides a summary of the general situation.

[@flipmaya]

INK I’m not worried about the “evidence” because the son needs to have some privacy. But I agree that there is more to this story. Dropped grades around a year or two after they did Ramsey’s thing? Maybe it’s connected, chances are it’s not.

[@lynetterice8413]

Absolutely it is!!

[@neetrab]

Aell obviously there's more to the story.

[@sobc2737]

He hates his mother for being overbearing and nagging. I can hear it in her voice. He hates his father for being weak and not protecting him from his evil mother. She thinks she can control him with inheritance money. That's so evil. I give him kudos for running out of there and being adult. Great job young man.

[@writingonthewall3326]

Dude. That was my childhood. I'm legit shattered.

[@sobc2737]

@@writingonthewall3326 Unfortunately it's most people's childhoods. That's why most people hate their mothers.

[@graceandglamor]

An overbearing/nagging mother is evil? Interesting.

[@sobc2737]

@@graceandglamor Yes, the worst thing a mother/father could do to their child is take away their innocence and responsibility. Most overbearing and nagging parents especially mothers do that alot to their kids.

[@graceandglamor]

SOBC equating being nagging or overbearing to “taking away a child’s innocence” is a complete non sequitor

[@TheYoungMuTe]

That kids gonna call this show, say he left his home at 18. Daves gonna say good for you 🤣

[@RistrasandRoses]

Lol 💯

[@LegDayLas]

Facts.

[@Altayyar720]

I find it sooo sad that they never asked what it was that drove him away. I am 20 (M) and one month ago I left home too. I have been in a abusive household for years my father is very wealthy worth more than 800 million but I threw all that away just because I couldn’t handle it anymore. They physically emotionally and verbally abused me since I can remember my siblings even worse. Now I decided to leave I have had no where to go I moved to a completely different country just to get away from my childhood traumas. I think we should listen to the boys side and see what he has to say. I definitely don’t believe this has anything to do with drugs

[@davinasquirrel7672]

I think so too. There seems to be far too much control from the parents' side of the equation (re-writing the will so quickly, that is definitely a control move).

[@LovesLakes]

@@davinasquirrel7672Totally agree about the will

[@rccsrgaming6987]

It’s a one sided story. They can prod, but that won’t change the son’s desire to leave. Best to just give financial advice at that point.

[@21972012145525]

Different country?! That's rich

[@dash4800]

I stopped talking to my family 10byears ago and zero of them have asked why. They all just act like I did something wrong and that me not wanting to see them just came out of nowhere.

[@Oldscale]

"He was a 4.0 student now he's barley passing" in other words despite Couch surfing and emotional turmoil he's still managing to pass his classes. I bet her versions of barley passing is a B-

[@honestfriend767]

You don’t know that. But I will say that the situation is a bit suspicious.

[@littleripper312]

No it sounded like he might not graduate. People don't fall off the cliff like that unless there is something seriously wrong like drugs or mental illness.

[@kevinarzola4781]

@@littleripper312 no it’s all fake made up stuff in her head. The kid is probably doing fine without her

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

@@kevinarzola4781 YESSS! My mom tells people how bad I am doing and stalks my old friends…. I am fine without her but she can’t handle that I can survive without her interwoven into my life!!!! My hubby and I had to sever ties to be free from the crazy control…. She even called CPS in her state and ours trying to get “grandparents” rights to her grandchildren! Of course they laughed and said they needed concrete proof of abuse or neglect, which she didn’t have and stories wouldn’t cut it thank God. This “mom” is hemming and hawing and seems to be “painting an emotional picture”. Narcissistic people are good at that and it makes it very hard to get local support from your community because of it.

[@willsinternet]

Butterfly I can almost 100% tell you that it is the family based on the way the mother seems. I am very unhappy living in my parents' home and intend to move out when I turn 18 and can afford to do so. No one knows what his situation is and I can tell you based on personal experience that living with toxic family members can cause mental health issues. Personally I applaud the kid for getting out while he was still sane. Nobody knows how to take care of you better than you.

[@ncatstate]

Tracy tried to control him with the, _"This is my house and you can move out if you don't like it."_ So he moved out... now she's on the radio crying. He doesn't communicate with the siblings because Tracy probably uses them to triangulate and push her agenda.

[@Jdb63]

No doubt

[@TheQueenIsWithin]

Its like he's disgusted with all of them for ganging up on him

[@neetrab]

That's why my loving parents NEVER said those words. They are great parents but they vowed they wouldn't say something like that. I don't think it's because they thought if they said that we'd take them up on it, but I think that they never wanted us to feel like we didn't have a place to go if we needed a home. Hope that made sense.

[@michellerichardson3090]

Yep. My family was the same way. I moved to another state. They all said "I can't believe you left." I told them I literally just picked an option

[@MrMasterDebate]

What’s even more telling? Another family took him in. If someone’s taking you in, you are getting the 9th degree. Why are you leaving? Is it just a silly reason like you don’t enjoy cleaning? You ain’t getting supported by non blood if you are just a spoiled brat who - ohhhhhh.... she hits you.... wait what? EXCUSE ME?! On hon for the love of god please come in here, you are 18 and I will help you get into adult hood. You don’t need to suffer anymore. *THEN* that family calls the other family to confirm, and when she asks about the claimed behavior, Tracy decides to boast about how “this is our home and I’ll parent how I want. Don’t you judge me”. Which confirms everything the kid said

[@AudreyPerry]

This smells fishy. My parents painted my brother in a terrible light (including as an addict) when he broke off from the family. They did the same to me when I broke off. Our childhood was traumatic and our parents were abusive and there was a lot of neglect. While addiction could be at play, all of this smells like there’s a rat in her story….

[@wendybryan6071]

Trauma, including neglect, results in addiction. We turn to substances to avoid the difficult emotions and discussions. The addictions aren't the answer. Love yourself, forgive yourself and take care of yourself.

[@Alice-si8uz]

Let's not forget this family had debt and potentially quite a bit of it. The son left home around the time they were starting to sort it out but we don't know what impact those money issues had on his childhood and upbringing.

[@chronicallydre]

I'm glad you're here despite their poor parenting! happy holidays. ❤️

[@CynthiaWithLove]

Always the parents when things go wrong but not credit when things go right.🙄

[@CynthiaWithLove]

Maybe they were working jobs they hated to keep you. Maybe they gave up their dreams for you. They didn't ask to be born either. Life is hard for people.

[@Melly3112-ox3ey]

Our son left home at eighteen to share an apartment with his friend. No arguing or recriminations, just a chance to get away and be free. He'd visit occasionally to do laundry or root through the fridge. Within weeks he was grumbling about the cost of food, especially that being consumed by his roommate. Eventually, he asked if he could come back home. Which he did. Within two years he'd saved enough money to buy his first house--a triplex. Sometimes parents are wise to just step back and bite their tongues

[@krampus7520]

That sounds nice. There needs to be a period for everybody where they only have their own two feet to stand on, so they can grow up.

[@Black_Jesus3005]

Man we need context on this. Would love to hear the sons side.

[@NicE-jq3wv]

ghos7fire son’s

[@vaagmikaelian9078]

@@NicE-jq3wv there are lot of sons

[@notashinigami8571]

Im curious to hear the kids side of the story seems like alot they arent telling us

[@candirockstar135]

Yep it's a big red flag to me that she seems to not acknowledge doing ANYTHING wrong-hallmark of a narcissist.

[@Gambit8121-i7v]

I agree sounds like his parents are very controlling and maybe they were not really there for him growing up so there is no reason that he wants to be there! Or...he is on drugs but that does not sound like that.

[@Gambit8121-i7v]

Did his CO host really say my wife gets a (vote) this doesn't seem sexist at all does he 🤔🤣 Dude your wife helps make decisions she not just a vote she's half of the decision making process

[@jhern083]

They have the right to withhold an inheritance, but they don't have the right to outright control someone. He'll change when he's ready, she needs to let go.

[@niecyh2313]

He seems rebellious!

[@retiredmanager510]

When you try to control someone too much they will rebel. It doesn’t matter if it’s a family, due to a quarantine like a covid, politics... eventually people will seek their own reality and you may not be part of it.

[@richthepup]

Retired Manager morale of the story, build relationships with your children outside of draconian parenting

[@NoraGeeGee]

She kept mentioning if he returns home there's rules and guidelines so he's probably running away from those in the first place. 😬

[@richthepup]

IDontKnow WhoIAm lets all agree that “breaking” into the home is a bit of a stretch... it’s being proposed as if some random person broke in

[@slicksteve22]

IDontKnow WhoIAm "broke into a home" yet it was to get HIS stuff People don't run away because of addiction. There just way too controlling. I've seen so many ppl rebel and act out because of poor parenting(too strict).

[@MrsJFJ]

That is what everyone thinks. Some kids go through rebellious times and parents put up boundaries and eventually the kid “comes to”. Honestly, those helping this kid out are evil. They are preventing an important lesson and a rock bottom moment.

[@JuanPabloBerthoud]

Literally, the best advices in this video are on the comments. Spot on Narc Mom. Dave, this one went way over your head.

[@glendamcgee1779]

I seems the one zillion replies agree with you. The "break in " comment got me. Dark.

[@arooppo7634]

Went on national television practically slandering her child who left and thinks this is the way to get him back? He’s gone.

[@hunterj.730]

Yeah, and why a financial show?

[@OfficialSeth]

@@hunterj.730 For real. It sounds like I stumbled on an episode of Dr. Phil.

[@arribaficationwineho32]

She hopes money might control him. It sounds like a crazy religion issue

[@ryannigl2525]

For life. This kid will never talk to his family again. He will be wildly successful and start his own family.

[@Rem700R5MN]

I doubt his buddies listen to Dave. As far as when he will be back, I don't have any more info than you do, which is to say none. Making all these statements with no facts to back them up is pretty ignorant.

[@karlnicolas6095]

When did this show turn into dr. Phil

[@Arvord]

karl nicolas 100%

[@sbrazenor2]

When the COVID-19 rolled through. People have all kinds of issues with uncertainty, and Dave's not trained to deal with some of it. It's good to have backup. That being said, just like all of the other Ramsey personalities, I think he's building a brand for some kind of other show. He did the same with Chris Hogan, Rachel, Ken, etc.

[@thisisnotok2100]

This is the point of Dr D

[@angelaonthego]

When the economy shut down

[@blackonblack...9244]

I got real questions like do I own too much house after getting out of debt and I don't know if my message will ever get read. (Before you comment, their phone lines are always busy and they get hundreds of thousands of emails.)

[@katarinakarakas7800]

Kids don't run away because things are good in the family, so they are not telling the bad that was going on in the house. I am 21 and also am not going back to my abusive dad even tho my financial needs are met there because I want to save my health and I don't want to live in fear for another few years before I finish college.

[@colby__3185]

I feel sorry for you, and hope you can stay strong :) But some kids run away because they feel entitled; they don't want to follow basic rules because their friends have "do what you want/get what you ask for" households. "You don't love me because you won't give me a car and make me do house chores." Yeah that's not what love is. Love is showing you how to be responsible and providing a roof over your head and food on the table.

[@hessamstar]

Katarina Karakaš well said, there is two sides to this story!!

[@katarinakarakas7800]

Colbert Ta I agree with you, that's also very true 😊

[@Dan-cm9ow]

@@colby__3185 Those kids come back almost immediately when they realize the world doesn't owe them anything. I've never seen a zero-contact situation that didn't involve abusive parents.

[@APBusinessLive]

That's facts!!

[@Drenwickification]

I grew up with a BPD mum who was very manipulative and emotionally abusive towards me and tbh I felt some red flags from this woman listening to her. Even things like her throwing in that he left on ‘Mother’s Day weekend’ just makes me think she’s trying all she can to make herself the victim rather than trying to put herself in his shoes and considering her own possible mistakes.

[@Nylon_riot]

Projection. Having a bpd mother doesn't make you professional or a psychic, and you don't know what HE has gotten into, could be running with the wrong crowd. And people need to stop weaponizing other people's serious disabilities to apply to anything they don't like.

[@Nylon_riot]

Projection. Having a bpd mum doesn't make you a professional or a psychic. But when you are a hammer, everything is a nail. If bpd is still coloring everything you see and hear, there are unabated issues that need to be dealt with. How do you know he isn't running with a criminal org or got into trouble he is too embarrassed to face his family? Yes, she said Mothers Day, because it is important to mothers, that she is. There is absolutely nothing in this one sided phone call that indicates anything more than a family fallout. And I come from a family with BPD. It is OK to call life events just normal problems, and doesn't always have to be taken to the worst conclusion.

[@Drenwickification]

@@Nylon_riot what am I projecting? I never said she has BPD nor did I say I’m a medical professional

[@beauteoussounds1156]

I’ve never known a parent who uses an inheritance as a carrot to be a good person.

[@hollystiener16]

Nah. It would be heartbreaking if your son left on Mother's Day.

[@megansilvey6439]

I feel like there is a lot going on that she is not saying. This kid ran away for a reason. Maybe he is going out to ruin his life, or maybe he is getting away from a toxic situation and learning how to heal. As far as him not wanting any communication, he may just need time to figure things out on his own before he figures out his family issues. May God guide this 18 year old and his family in a good direction.

[@Benjamin_Boakye]

Well said. Two sides to every story.

[@wizetek]

Bingo

[@FoxifiedNutjob]

"May God guide this 18 year old and his family in a good direction." You mean, "Bible-God"? What "God" are you talking about?

[@GoogleAccount00]

Absolutely!!!!

[@mathieuveillette4806]

So true. This segment drove me nuts. No one is wondering about his perspective, they jumped straight into how the family that took him in are idiots, he’s ungrateful, made all these assumptions about his character. And they assume he’s going to crawl back. We don’t know any of this and id love to hear his perspective.

[@blueowl8928]

Generally speaking, 18-year-olds who are still in high school don’t run away when everything at home is fine and they just don’t like the rules. I have a feeling this family is super controlling/abusive, has not accepted him for who he is, and/or has tried to force him into a way of life that he doesn’t want. And if the family that has taken him in thinks his parents are to blame, they’re probably right. If the above is indeed true, then of course the kid’s grades will have dropped. When a kid feels that their home situation is so intolerable that they have to run away/move out while they’re still in grade school, that’s an incredible amount of stress, and it *will* affect academic performance.

[@dennisreynolds6915]

Prolly making him go to church and eat a certain way save his money etc. Idk why people think they can mold people to an exact image of themselves then if they dont want to be that way they are rebellious and horrible. Get a grip "parents"

[@teresayeates3437]

Disagree, they easily can become rebellious, fall in with bad friends, drinking, drugs, partying etc.

[@Countcho]

Yup, kids want security, no matter how rebellious they are. Unless they’re on hardcore drugs, they always want to be somewhere safe. I’m betting on home issues and a mother playing the victim.

[@joanas4335]

They not accepting the fact that he is 18

[@Djorgal]

@@teresayeates3437 Remember that, here, you have only one side of the story and it is already suspicious. That's very easy to side with the only side of the story you're given. This mom is really leaving a lot out.

[@ildsc]

This brought back some memories. I hope the son finds this video and reads all of the supportive comments. Never let anyone use finances (college fund / inheritance) to control you, even if it's family. For your own mental health, the money is not worth the personal sacrifice to accept the abuse. I wish him all the best in finding his own path in the world.

[@andyadam94]

True! But he can find his own path without cutting out his family right? He can have boundaries and respect one another. The fact that he cut all his family members is very shady..

[@Angaloth19]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@andyadam94 You can’t control what the other person does, and it’s dangerously naive to think everyone has a baseline of reason and decency. Comments like yours explain why people stay in bad relationships… because they’re projecting a decency on the other person that isn’t there. I hope you’re never in such a relationship. When people show you who they are, believe their actions over your own wish that things were different. There are lots of people who have no respect for other people, let alone will abide by their boundaries. Most of those people also have families they treat the same way. Indecent people aren’t magically different for their families.

[@alexlee9109]

@@Angaloth19Please make channel and share your advices on KZbin too. I like your comments writing style and explanation. Adult children need this kind of thinking skills more from people like you . 😊

[@Rem700R5MN]

Projecting much?

[@thundercricket4634]

I moved out of my parents house within a week of my 18th birthday and haven't spoken to either one of them since (36 now). I made sure to get my Social Security card and Birth certificate and a copy of my high school transcript and never looked back. If their child left and left that hard, I 100% believe they DO know why.

[@glendamcgee1779]

What a noble and brave child you were, and still are I bet. God Bless You.

[@polifonyann]

So she brought him back home "forcefully" and he left again but came back to get his things He pulled a No Contact and is living with another family. Something dont smell right. Just saying.

[@TstormVA2012]

I'm thinking it's an addiction problem.

[@franny11786]

@Heinrich Himmler judging by your user name so are you

[@cooper197]

TstormVA2012 definitely not an addiction problem

[@RareRS]

@@TstormVA2012 might be but I doubt it. Been through the same situation with my gf. It wasn't an addiction thing. Neither of us do drugs or anything. Her home life was terrible.

[@Ar4864-dz]

@@TstormVA2012 did you hear in the beginning about their rules and guidelines. There's more to the story and I doubt it's addiction .

[@laurah6381]

Sooooo much more going on with this lady. She sounds overbearing. Ugh, the son sounds like he made the right decision by moving on with his life..

[@sidharthchand8072]

laurah6381 I wish him luck

[@ME-xe4sk]

And so much is probably going on with this child.

[@joanas4335]

Exactly.

[@cmac2295]

So they are manipulating their son with an inheritance, if he goes with their terms. My narcissistic mother said the same thing to me by saying she won't give me a dime. I told her that it's her money and I respect her choice. Her head nearly popped off 😂😂😂

[@billbergen9169]

I don't think my mom's that bad.

[@Margaret709]

I did, too. I told her, “I don’t want anything of yours.” She was a narcissist, psychologically abusive. She left a legacy of lies and damage.

[@porkchoppeaches]

Good for you ! I thought it was really weird that he would have to jump through hoops to get his inheritance. The more hoops the more he gets ? So weird to treat your family this way. Big red flag !!

[@DJPopaZoukero]

He doesn’t deserve a dime if he won’t even talk to them.

[@porkchoppeaches]

Joshua Person You can’t take it with you.

[@andreasrechtenwald1863]

No children leaves "suddenly" and "without reason" a safe home. And other people saying YOU are the BAD Home ?And why are the parents in different Therapy ? Mam what is wrong in your family ?

[@Rem700R5MN]

Sure they do. Lots of kids leave so they can party, drink, do drugs, have toxic or otherwise unacceptable people around, etc. Kids make bad decisions, it's nothing new.

[@leah_beaute]

He ran away and they just assumed that he was on drugs and destroyed his character without knowing the full story smh 🤦 😒

[@xavierjamal8755]

Fr

[@alexiakelley4245]

My mother did the same thing. Her friends coddled her and everything

[@littleripper312]

He very likely was doing drugs though. It's a good assumption. It's shocking how often drugs are to blame for erratic behaviour like this.

[@hustlehardermommy9675]

The grades tanking is a HUGE red flag.

[@borisquince6302]

He probably is, and I believe you know it Anderson.

[@andrewf4623]

5:03 what a ridiculous comment from Dave. “These are the kind of twerps who take people in” 😕😕 Since when did opening up your home to a troubled teenager make you a twerp?!

[@EmXtraMoney]

She basically exposed herself. She is the problem in this.

[@hihihin]

I am not sure they are helping him

[@AJ-dv7hq]

He was way off base here. It’s possible that a straight A student suddenly went nuts and went no contact for no reason and is lying to others about his parents, but it’s more likely that there’s more to the story than that. It’s impossible to know for sure based on this quick clip with only one perspective, but I’d put my money on the parents being abusive in some way.

[@VictoriaMendozaMing]

Agreed. This comment from him was super disappointing.

[@countrymusic30]

Because he brought dishonor to his parents.

[@imungukalevera8671]

As someone who saved when I barely had two coins to rub together, wore shoes with holes just to save on the money to move out and moved out before my family expected me to, I'll tell you for sure it's almost always because of the environment at home. A loving home is a place you will always want to go back to, even if it's not perfect.

[@phillipwombacher9635]

These parents are way more concerned on how having their son running away makes them look to their friends than they are about their son

[@carterbell9106]

🤣🤣 My moms a narcissist and she sounds EXACTLY like her. Especially the “we SUSPECT addiction” it’s common for narcs to push blame on their victims by saying they’re on drugs or mentally ill. Good for him for leaving

[@michaelkensington2494]

Are you kidding me?! This is the kind of evil generation of kids we are seeing today. Narcissist kids who are ungrateful, disrespectful to parents and elders, who want their way with everything. America as a society with the kinds of kids growing uo today no accountability, no sense of morals, respect for elders and wisdom will completely destroy themselves and this country. You are an absute disgrace just like her 18 yo. How you do think you got where you are today? Your parents raised you gave you everything they could and you go on here to bad mouth them. Just wow!!

[@jamalsanders2913]

@@michaelkensington2494 your just talking buddy . say a whole lot of nothing

[@shadowsmith1386]

@@jamalsanders2913 ikr what he talking about

[@Elizabeth-yg2mg]

@@michaelkensington2494 You sound like a narc too.

[@michaelkensington2494]

@@Elizabeth-yg2mg Liz you are the evil generation that we see today. It was not like this in your grandparents generation. Ive seen kids throw away their parents. Force them into nursing homes, apartments and not once come visit them. One man died and none of his kids knew he was dead until the landlord came to collect the rent. You don't see anything wrong here because you are part of this generation of evil.

[@TJWillis13]

Parents that call a financial show for advice on their runaway son...I dunno. They aren't even connected enough to have the conversation about drug use. I agree with so many others something else is going on.

[@Maya_Unplugged]

Because she thought she can buy (bride/corrupt) her son back with money. Typical narc.

[@et1016]

Interesting how Dave labels everyone else as “stupid” yet knows nothing about the caller or her husband. He’s heard one side of the story, and he’s already made up his mind. Dave and his sidekick have no idea what’s gone on in this home. They are clueless as to what the son has been subjected to in the home environment. Shameful to be so judgmental before you have the facts or both sides of the story. These are the kinds of decisions that send children back to abusive homes, many times ending up dead. Very scary & highly irresponsible.

[@kayb6803]

Happy Place, Dave needs a legit psychologist to help him with these calls before somebody gets hurt

[@zero1188]

dave always side with females they are never wrong

[@chartuck]

@@zero1188 SIIIIIIIIIMP Ramsey

[@harlenkelly7331]

Dave is not that intellectually sophisticated, that's why he jumps to unsound conclusions so fast. It requires intelligence and nuance thinking to take into account both sides of the story.

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

Totally agree.

[@LovesLakes]

Twerps! TWERPS? NO DAVE! ! We have taken in two different kids who were abused at home until one worked out returning safely, and the second made different arrangements. We talked to the parents quite civilly and placed no blame. I truly believe we helped save those kids who were good kids and went on to be good adults.

[@starrfadeable]

I was thinking the same thing. When I was younger my best friends mom was my saving grace. She did more for me then my own mother.

[@residentevil2928]

She has not said anything about what she is doing. Her "guidelines and structure" may be coming from a narcissist or a couple of narcissists. Toxic relationships shouldn't go on.

[@Black_Jesus3005]

Alex Colegate bingo. They’re probably unrelenting in their standards and smothered him.

[@davidp2981]

Or maybe he's just a kid who got in with the wrong people and is now in a downward spiral. We don't know but the lady here sounded sincere.

[@davidp2981]

@J F Sure but to label someone a narcissist so willy nilly is ridiculous.

[@Jayday12345678910]

@Dave P So is saying he’s in with the wrong crowd

[@davidp2981]

@@Jayday12345678910 If you look at what I responded to you would see that it was a response to them jumping to conclusions by offering up another possibility. That's all it was. I also said verbatim "we don't know".

[@insertname5057]

There's a massive piece of this puzzle missing and everyone seems to know it but Dave and the co host

[@duganrocks100]

Yeah :/

[@SerErryk]

They just take the callers words at face value and can never read between the lines.

[@Elizabeth-yg2mg]

I think Dave was getting a clue but not the counselor who's not very effective imo. They only have a few minutes on here.

[@karyndewit193]

I don’t think so.

[@user-mx5we9ne8k]

I mean they aren't there to judge the parents they give her advice like

[@Sam89365]

Kid was smart to bounce at 18. I let my parents control me until I was 22 when I got a job on the other side of the country.

[@martinrunner4687]

kids who come from normal healthy loving homes don't run away, i say this as a 20 yo who lived with an abusive father up until i was 17 but still decided to stay home and take care of my mom and my sister during and after he left, it just makes me wonder the kind of environment this kid grew up in what were the motives that drove him away

[@zechchrome]

Parent: As long as you live under this house, you live by my rules, don’t have any privacy, and will listen to what I say. I ain’t concerned with being your friend. Me: I haven’t spoken to my mother in 10 years since I moved out. Welcome to your future.

[@michael43567]

I find that parents can get too controlling of their kid, & start to run a dictatorship in the house. Then they say things like "if you don't like it, get out". Then when the kid does leave, they're shocked

[@antonioiniguez1615]

Parenting is a dictatorship by nature. I parent who isn't a dictator is doing parenting wrong

[@Poopticklingbandit]

@@formerfundienowfree4235 being 18 you are not a kid. Lady, there is nothing wrong with leaving the house at 18 and being on your own. The son has nobody to prove to and doesn't need anyone's affirmations or sense of respect. Learn to respect differences in opinions and to have an honest conversation with your children as you would with a friend or coworker. At the age of 12 or 13 kids stop listening to their parents; maybe you just smoke too much crack or something but you should remember what being a kid is like for 5 minutes.

[@Richevanso]

Wrong kids are much more mature today​@@formerfundienowfree4235

[@williamsoncountysheriff]

​@@Poopticklingbandit At 18 years old, you are still a kid. They just had to pick an age for someone to become legally an adult but just because you're an adult legally doesn't mean you're one psychologically. The law and biology/chemistry/physics don't always line up.

[@Poopticklingbandit]

@@williamsoncountysheriff traditionally in every other country the age of maturity is about 13 in Mexico or Israel due to their cultural nature and so forth. For thousands of years it’s been like that but Americans don’t want to admit that 18 is far too late. Now you have the generations who got to have their freedom such as the 60s and relaxed DUI laws until the 80s. You can’t have it both ways my guy. Your grandfather was working a full time job by 13. Try again. She said her son ran away at 18? What is he going to do stay at home during college and miss his youth abiding by rules that are established by a system that’s rigged against him? I.E. the parents never ending disappointment? He’s a 4.0 student that is on track to any university he wants. I graduated high school with a 0.2gpa, applied to community college for the first two years and graduated with a 3.2 which isn’t impressive but it’s a comparison against the fact that transferring to a university from community college only requires a 2.0gpa to get into any Ivy League school. If he is keeping his responsibilities like an adult, then he gets to go party like the other adults who waste their lives doing. I completed my associates in network and systems administration and work comfortably from home for 22 an hour and my rent is 785.

[@modestprophetess582]

Leaving home and never going back at 16 was the best thing I ever did in my life. I'm almost 40. We don't own our children. They own themselves. I agree that she should cut him off financially.. But, this... "how do I move forward?" Query says that she didn't know her son. And it also says she's GUILTY and SHAMEFUL.

[@mahaonexpress]

I apologize for asking, but do you have connection with your parents now?

[@Sheryl777]

Maybe she meant that she is emotionally hurt and needing healing when she said "How do I move forward?"

[@modestprophetess582]

@@mahaonexpress my mom died 17 years ago. I have my dads phone number.. and he has mine.. but no.. the only way I'll be able to perform at his bedside when he's old is if I stay away from him while he's still healthy.

[@usernameluis305]

You dont look 40 at all, stunning

[@modestprophetess582]

gamer Guy thank you very much... I needed that confidence boost.. feeling out of shape today

[@truelife974]

3 years later... He's still no contact, has a great paying job, and has met the love of his life living happily ever after. THE END

[@doriasalmon4790]

Hey folks, he does not care about their money or the inheritance. He is 18, 18 year olds do not ponder or even think about inheritance. The poor kid simply wants relief from the abuse.

[@skeeetter881]

Ehh they do think about it if they know its happening, but smart enough to know peace of mind is worth way more

[@2legit2quit4u]

The kid wants out so he can do things he knows they would not approve of. I went through this with my son. He came back a year later, apologized and said he was doing bad things and needed help. We welcomed him with open arms. He went to college, we paid for everything, and he is now happily married, with a great career and is very involved with both families.

[@michellecedrone2425]

Thank you so much for your comment!! I walked away at 17. I’m currently 43 and both my parents died in the past year. I was written out of the will (and the assets were substantial). I couldn’t care less. My mental and emotional health was worth far more than any money I would have inherited. Stop holding your stupid assets over your kids heads. WE. DONT. CARE. My parents were multi millionaires and I never thoughts twice about walking away from it. I promise they don’t care about your shitty house and $50,000 lol

[@strangerdanger8462]

​@@2legit2quit4u Finally some common sense/ voice of reason in these comments. 👍

[@tcolifestyle1562]

There two sides to this story so please don’t go crying for this women

[@writingonthewall3326]

Yup

[@annephilipsien72]

Actually there are 3 sides: 1 parent’s side, 2 kid’s side and finally 3 the truth.

[@tcolifestyle1562]

Anne Philipsien your absolutely right✅✅

[@raymondadadevoh6509]

Thats a fact, gotta hear his side

[@buyerbware25]

They "brought him home forcefully. " Sounds like she's running a cult, not a family.

[@PInk77W1]

buyerbware25 that was a strange one. If I was Dave I would’ve said “Next call please “

[@PInk77W1]

charles sanchez if I would’ve left my parents house at 18 My mom wouldn’t shed a tear. As she said You’re 18 ? I did my job. LoL.

[@Ladywizard]

@charles sanchez considering the therapist also said the kids don't get a vote on their feelings for their own lives for the 10 25 and 50 years plans?

[@roseguber3240]

@@Ladywizard And that he gave his wife "permission" to have a say...with therapists like these, who needs enemies?

[@mstzydeco]

Christian cult

[@melodyg4727]

I left home at 17, I left due to abuse. My leaving was the catalyst for my Mum to seperate and divorce her now ex husband. I paid my own way, put myself through college, got my own career. Honestly a "good straight A" 18yo doesnt leave for no reason. Id be interested to hear his side of the story.

[@MCE851]

The son didnt want to say a word to them because he knows better. He knows from experience they will never hear him out. This is the reality of living in a narc family. You did the right thing, son. Good on you for taking your life back.

[@NonyaSmith]

Exactly. Narcissistic family systems are designed to invalidate and discredit the most vulnerable members. You're scapegoated to the ends of the earth. Used as a convenient place for the family to offload their sickness and shame. You either accept that and sacrifice yourself, the truth of your experiences and feelings as a separate person, or you get away and detoxify yourself of their sickness. Narcissistic parents/systems NEVER take responsibility. Their illness simply can not and will not allow them to.

[@coniccinoc]

Moved out when I was 17. Eventually cut them, my family, out of my life. If I had to do it over again, I would have cut them out sooner.

[@triggabun]

Same. I did not pick up until I was in my 20s. I wish I had come go that awakening sooner. But better late than never.

[@countessratzass5408]

Same, 17 and now 64. My father died a multimillionaire and left us nothing.

[@cynthiaadams4322]

Be glad he gone ! Pray for him and move on!!

[@Larrydastooge]

Countess Ratzass if you cut ties with the family, why would you expect him to leave you money. So you never cared to amend the relationship but you want his money??

[@countessratzass5408]

Travs Is stupid Long story.

[@cerberus3426]

The way Dave Ramsey just jumps to the conclusion that he's a cocaine addict is insane.

[@Mnil52]

Well he's the king boomer, always sides with the narcissist boomers

[@markroberts8975]

Right, and then “These are the kind of twerps who take people in.” And he calls himself a Christian. These people opened their arms and their home to a young man in dire need need.

[@michaelmarquez6133]

@markroberts8975 what does Christianity have to do with this? Christians are not perfect in fact being Christian just means that you have certain beliefs and that's all but I can understand why you say that because even people who claim they are Christian do really stupid things and of course that gets bunched up with everyone else

[@jamisojo]

​@@Mnil52 ahhhh. 25 year old wisdom?

[@treymiller5736]

Assuming the parents aren’t the problem. (Very big assumption!) drugs would be the next guess.

[@StinaPsych]

They’re acting like the son wants to come back, he clearly is emotionally done with the family and is willing to take the repercussions of cutting off the family. His side clearly needs to be heard to know what actually happened

[@anilpersaud3808]

How in the world did Dave bring drugs into this conversation? She never said anything about her son doing any kind of drugs. This episode was just strange. This mother sounds very toxic, I commend him for moving out of the house. Good job man!

[@lisah8197]

He clearly use drugs, just as an example.

[@anilpersaud3808]

@@lisah8197I disagree, Dave brings it in out of nowhere.

[@brendahartstern4565]

Didn't she say that his grades suddenly went down? Behaviors changed? Classic signs of drug use

[@Judy-c3d]

From experience, a person will do anything to do drugs and will let nothing stop him or her. My daughter did this. I didn’t find out for years she was using drugs back then. It wasn’t even on my radar.

[@NickRaeff]

I disagreed with my (over-bearing and controlling) parents and left at 18. Joined the military. One of the best decisions of my life. I’m 25 now. You gotta grow up - and let your kids grow up - at some point. 18 is a legal adult. Naïve? Yes. But an adult.

[@joesteadman343]

I remember telling my dad about how my older brother went to the military to get out of the house. And my dad replied with "yeah!" But I dont think he understood what I was saying. What I really meant was "he left because getting yelled at in the military and waking up early in the morning to run is a better option than staying with you guys"

[@fakename5400]

I'm doing this too

[@formerfundienowfree4235]

@@joesteadman343 maybe it was mutual

[@nathanyoung8284]

Man, this woman sounds identical to my mother. My mother was absolutely awful, the single worst influence I've had in my life. I'm so glad I don't live with her anymore. An overbearing narcissist who thinks she can reel you back in with money. How poor I'd have to be to consider moving back in with a woman who verbally abused me and neglected me. I say good on the kid for getting out while he could. It would have done wonders for my mental health to run away from her at 18 like he did!

[@missheartbreaker1213]

Same!!! Im getting away from my whole fam in march. Never been more proud of myself

[@FawnEva]

@@missheartbreaker1213 ❤

[@abacab87]

I've seen this happen a couple times with my friends who are in their 50's, and they are 100% at fault. Good children with 4.0 don't break contact without a good reason. I'm glad to see the people in the comments weren't fooled.

[@Rem700R5MN]

Your comment is incredibly ignorant. You have no info to support your claims about this woman and I have serious doubts that you have all the info on your (so-called) friends' issues, yet that doesn't stop you from making judgements. I don't know who your "friends who are in their 50's" are but I hope they realize what a true pal they have in you and lose your number.

[@abacab87]

Are you going to comment on every comment on this clip? My response is pretty much the same. It's not like you can't have friends but also know they have faults, as we all do.

[@jojohns9670]

Woman did not say what the parents did to cause him to leave. He's always been a straight A's student; that tells u he's disciplined, responsible and very reasonable, and will not take this action without you provoking him. Can easily sense her overbearing autocratic nature from the way she talked. And of course, hillbilly will back her up! Many parents are too arrogant to evolve from being dictatorial, to being friendly and reasoning with their kids, as they grow older. That's exactly what's going on. I hope he does very well outside so he never needs to go back home.

[@grantwilliams630]

Or he was disciplined and then he got into drugs. We don’t know both sides of the story, but that also doesn’t mean we should just automatically assume the son is 100% in the right either.

[@grantwilliams630]

Thomas Borisov bro we can’t tell anything from her voice except that she was upset. You’re adding bizarre meaning for no reason. I don’t know if you have had a bad experience but it doesn’t make sense to just add weird meaning to others.

[@baywest]

@@grantwilliams630 if it was just a drug thing then he wouldn't leave with no contact like that. He would try to stay and milk any kind of money he could to pay for his addiction. He would at least try with his siblings. But he had no contact with any of them, and also when he snuck back in the house he didn't steal money, just his stuff. The evidence does not point to drugs

[@davidoberle137]

Too many assumptions being made here to take this seriously.

[@candirockstar135]

David Oberle exactly

[@Harlem_Renaissance]

Best comment so far...

[@NicE-jq3wv]

Like yours

[@GabeClendenning]

Yikes as soon as I heard the “they call us the bad house” this call turned into something way different that how it began... The mother is talking about how the son just ran away due to a difference in “morals”, yeah what kid doesn’t... she’s not telling the full story. Also she “suspects” there’s substance abuse because grades dropped. Seems very disconnected and is very telling as to why he ran away. These parents are too worried about the split of their will instead of figuring out what went wrong on both ends. If this is how her counselling session go, nothing will ever come of it.

[@lesdeuxanes6203]

Gabe Clendenning And if there is substance abuse why did the parents create an environment where abusing substances seemed to be something the kid needed to do?

[@GabeClendenning]

Jarod Vautrot I mean you can’t blame all substance abuse issues in parents...there is a point to which parents can only know so much but the mother response seemed more out of oblivion than of concern or knowledge

[@coffee-and-finance]

Way to concerned about a will with their measly money that probably just lost 40% in a well diversified portfolio. She sounds like a spaz of a mother and when she doesn’t get her way she loses her mind. Oh and don’t forget the spineless father that needed the police to go get his own son

[@allimarie425]

Imagine her counselor making progress with their just to come into the next meeting, “well Dave Ramsey said I’m right” 🤣

[@nathanwright5543]

Sounds like the parents are narcissists. Sounds just like a narcissist.

[@Gloriamarg]

He ran away because he wasn’t safe emotionally or maybe even physically. This phone call was so one sided and manipulative. There’s 3 sides to every story. Parents side, his side, and the truth.

[@dn2817]

This sounds like my parents who were unreasonably strict on me when I lived at home. I never drank or did drugs. I never got into any trouble. My parents moved us around a lot as I grew up and i got poor grades... they would constantly psychoanalyze me and diagnose me with any mean, nasty hurtful diagnosis they could imagine up, even though i never went to therapy and my mom never finished college. My mother got physical with me and I physically defended myself and then she threw me out at 17.. well i moved in with some friends and i finished school & went to a few trade schools. My parents first move was to tell me i was written out of a will and to a teen boy, i had no idea what that even means. But they sure did use that as a weapon... too long to write my entire story but my little brothers committed felonies/ got into drugs and drinking after i moved out... i refused to talk to my parents for about 5 years... i have mended some issues with them but i don’t feel that close to them.. when work took me across the country, they act like i died... i am in my 40’s and i am doing well in life... they actually caused me to have a lot of self confidence issues and codependency that i have been working through.

[@ravenburneskushner1825]

Thanks for sharing that

[@dn2817]

Johnny Five that must be part of the syndrome. A sibling who never moves out. Who most likely will get everything. I don’t want anything and I don’t think about it or that way but when you’ve literally heard stuff about “when I die!...” your whole life, its just ironic they’d play favorites when the punishment I got was based on productivity. Oh well.. I am too busy to think about it but it is a good topic to share for others.

[@allimarie425]

Yep! Scary how similar my story is. Older brother approaching 30 still at home. I’m the most successful kid. They always told me their life would be better without me when I was a kid so now they have it. They recognize they were wrong about me. I can tell they know. But they would never admit it. They care more about being right than having a relationship w their child. I think it’s a common theme that it makes us “bad kids” successful. They kicked us around for so many years that we had to fight to survive so doing it in the real world is easy lol

[@lexie02jones25]

@@allimarie425 Yup, exactly mine. my own dad even disowned me and told me to never call him dad, even if he sick or at the hospital.

[@AnOriginalYouTuber]

Very similar childhood for me too. When your a kid, the abuse is really rough. Its impossible to defend yourself. As an adult, however, our mother's abuse is empty harassment. She talks about their will like it's some sort of weapon. But hearing her talk about their awful finances, we'd probably get almost nothing anyway.

[@grantgravity_plus]

Speaking from experience, there's only 1 reason to cut anyone out of your life at this kind of extreme level: abuse. If it were drugs, he would be trying to get money from the family. If anyone rejects you that hard, time for some serious soul-searching.

[@babyfeeg]

Child abuse ( circumcision )

[@ItsMeCJ]

Anonymous6907 mom also said people are telling her “love is love...” Read into that line

[@martinezbiz]

Not that black and white

[@late921]

exactly, if he was on drugs he would not cut off the siblings, one by one they would cut him off.

[@babyfeeg]

NurturingTalents are you an expert in early childhood trauma?

[@johnsradios484]

She is not telling us everything. Things may not have been so good at home. This is not the place for this conservation.

[@mikenelson8377]

JohnsRadios but do you know this or are you assuming like every other keyboard warrior out there? 🤨🤔

[@zero1188]

dave always side with females, he believed everything she said without questioning why the son left

[@OpgirlWarrior]

zero exactly. I’m used to Dave not entertaining people’s excuses and BS. He just took everything she said in this call at face value.

[@NicE-jq3wv]

Mike Nelson she’s ASSuming

[@allimarie425]

Mike Nelson aren’t you doing just that? Lol

[@minimatemasterworks]

Any person who walks away from his family like this doesn't care about inheritance.

[@Dannniellleee]

I wish I’d had the strength at 18 to cut off my entire toxic family. Sounds like this kid is doing👌🏽👌🏽 for his age. It took me years of tears, a difficult period my family threw back into my face, and getting desperate at age 29 to finally leave: BEST. DECISION. I. EVER. MADE.! 🧡

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

Yep!

[@Dannniellleee]

@@terence.j thank you!! ❤️💛

[@christiesiebens3611]

Happy for you! You'll be ok!

[@t99709]

I cut mine off best decision I ever made I have my own family now

[@Plinko99]

Man, Dave needs an education on Narcissists and ethics if he's going to take calls like this.

[@formerfundienowfree4235]

Everyone's a narcissist except you right?

[@dummgelauft]

This guy with "Dr." In front of his name is supposed to know this stuff. Dave, stick to money matters, don't play therapist. You know very little.

[@im_dom_]

The real question is, what made this child run away in the first place. A child doesn't just get up and decide to run away, something is wrong within that household...

[@NicE-jq3wv]

Dominique Simmons you’d be very wrong about that.

[@r8wells]

Nic E how is he VERY wrong about this? I’m curious about the VERY

[@shinebrightlikeastarlet6132]

Yeah, as a Social Worker I want to know what was going on in the home.

[@joanas4335]

Exactly

[@asicaery7881]

Maybe he cant handle being told no??

[@binadeen9078]

She herself said that he was an A grade student ,he seemed to be doing well to please his parents,I think it’s the parents who drove him away and she herself seems to be controlling

[@Jonathan-mm5zx]

I did the same thing at 18, couldn’t wait to turn 18 and it was because of narcissism from my parents. Took several years to rebuild my self-confidence; I am now 34 and working on the relationship with my parents but I would not have been mentally, financially and emotionally stable if I hadn’t left.

[@sondijun]

Could we talk about your story more? I’m kinda going through the same thing and I’m 18

[@FawnEva]

@@sondijun ❤. Look out for your own well being at this time. Seek some stability and support from good people who's life path you admire. Give yourself some time to grieve and heal. I believe you will be okay and find a way if you make up your mind that you will triumph! Sending you lots of love and support, remember you are valuable and deserve to live a life surrounded with people who treat you with dignity and respect.

[@peaceful525]

I remember when “bipolar” was the popular internet diagnosis. Now it’s “narcissism.”

[@brendanb4361]

Seems like his family created an environment that he couldn’t stand to live in. I have a strong feeling the parents are more guilty than they’re letting on.

[@frankmundo4300]

If they did not he would never leave trust me toxicity can be great motivation!!!

[@VotePaineJefferson]

These parents were abusive. Case in point their son is an 18 year old adult and they're still trying to control him.

[@debpratt52]

@@VotePaineJefferson And all they talked about was punishing him with money. I'll bet that's all he heard of growing up. IF you want to get this $, you have to do such and such.

[@JoelJoel321]

Dave calls a family who looks after a scared teenager "twerps". What a class act.

[@zy510]

My thoughts exactly!

[@frankjennings4489]

“Those are the kind of twerps that take people in.” Very Christian of you Dave.

[@alnoordhanji4199]

Dave you have no class bro you have no balls to take on the medical industry and a government who takes our taxes to shower the socialised military industrial complex. You give good fundamental advise but you're a follower not a leader

[@blind_bratface]

I feel seen by this comment. John is such a class act I wonder how he feels about Dave’s crap and meanness.

[@deb9806]

My son's friends parents took in a kid in a family where he just couldn't live. They ended up keeping him until adulthood. You never know what is going on. There is something huge missing here. What made him leave exactly. What did he say? He said something.

[@UnstoppableMorgan]

I have a feeling this couple has been dangling their will over their kids heads for a long time. Get over yourself, maybe your money isn’t worth being under your “control.” I had grandparents just like this.

[@IamtheGL]

I gave it 20 seconds listening... sensing the energy , it seems mom has a very strong and commanding demeanor

[@IamtheGL]

@Valiant Thor exacta

[@ItsMeCJ]

She definitely does. Couldn’t keep quiet either.

[@NicE-jq3wv]

So if she was strong and commanding and a man, that would be celebrated. Ok Boomer

[@Jdb63]

@@NicE-jq3wv Fun fact, masculine traits are more desirable in men and feminine traits are more desirable in women. Biology

[@premavida]

Judgy and unreasonable comment. The person who is potentially on drugs (very sad) and cut his parents out for not wanting to follow the rules...of course has nothing to reform...think about it...the person who flees is usually the one who doesn't want to try..of course the mom is strong! But she was also crying in pain! Where does all this criticism come from????

[@dionnebarragan4624]

Kids typically don’t want to walk from their parents without a good reason! She sounds like a covert narcissist. Always a victim, never do anything wrong themselves! I’d like to hear the sons point of view.

[@Djorgal]

Yep. She didn't mention once why he left according to him. That's very suspicious.

[@kait112]

SAME

[@dcross446]

5:00 "these are the kinda twerps that take people in" Did I hear that right? You know what they say when you assume Mr. Ramsey..

[@BASEDinMaine]

yeah that was a stupid statement on his part. I know a family who has taken in 2-3 lost young men like this over the decades to give them refuge from the cesspool family they were forced to grow up with. I consider them Godly, not "twerps". I'd love to scoff at Dave in person but that's just my ego and emotion.

[@dcross446]

@@BASEDinMaine I spent 4 years with people that were not my folks. They didnt get any Gov assistance for it either.

[@ruraljefferson3176]

Swimming in the Dark Are they kindly foster parents or unconcerned enablers? Let’s judge after a 12-minute phone call where we hear they’ve taken the son’s side with no defense from the parents.

[@siddheshmirjankar910]

Dave : "You should give away 10% of your income to the needy in order to help them" Also Dave : "If you open your house to a homeless kid, then you are a twerp"

[@SerErryk]

He is so wrong on this. I'm so disappointed in him.

[@klassykwolhart6514]

He’s out of there for good reasons and I bet he’s mentally in a much better place. The home wasn’t a home for him and it more than likely drained his entire being.

[@michaelhall1616]

Strictly based off this video, I would’ve moved out asap as well 😂

[@Angaloth19]

She sounds insufferable! 🙉

[@LifeOnCloud8]

“My two kids don’t get a vote about their feelings in my life. My wife does because I’ve given her permission.” I’m sorry, WHAT?

[@wrkngmom05]

And I though I heard wrong 😳

[@homeofmew]

yeah ;/

[@hassu2149]

Yeah these guys are weird af LOL

[@kaiwilson5218]

Sounds like abuse for sure. Many radicals will use their religion as a reason to treat their family members like second-class citizens. Disappointed that this seems to be the case here.

[@V.E.R.O.]

Yeah, I had to rewind.

[@nicksincredibleopinion]

This doesn't just happen, they probably weren't great parents.

[@writingonthewall3326]

Careful mom will turn on victim tears

[@homeschoolmomofone2497]

I disagree my husband and his exwife gave their children a stable and loving home growing up their mother waited on them hand and foot and their dad made all the money to support their family. This kid is in trouble with something and he won't talk to his family about it that is his choice but their are consequences to those choices.

[@joanas4335]

Exactly

[@michael43567]

exactly. How does he go from a straight A student, to leaving & not talking to them anymore. They definitely did something. I'd guess they were very controlling

[@formerfundienowfree4235]

And I'm sure he was the perfect child. That's how young people see things nowadays.