My Abuse Story (part 1)

i'm sorry if this didn't come out so well, i used my phone. which is also why this video is being cut short. if you would like me to make a part 2 explaining my healing process please feel free to let me know!

[@jaqqer_1012]

Ngl you would make an EXCELLENT therapist

[@newyear7587]

She is eloquent isnt she

[@iclarion]

hey ♥︎ u might not read this but i feel a strong need to write it anyway i don't know where to begin. throughout the entire video i just had tears rolling down my face. just imagining what all of that must have felt like is so shattering. and the fact that u lived through it all, through some of the hardest things anyone could possibly go through is so beyond brave and admirable. i found u on tiktok and god i'm so glad i did. i can't explain how much love and respect i have for u. not only did u turn ur life around despite all the difficulties, u are also saving so many other lives, probably without even realizing how many. and by the way, the first 2 lives u saved were those of your brothers. i know it might not feel like it after everything your mom has said, but please don't let that get to u. and i am certain when they are older and understand everything that was going on, they will absolutely agree. i can't imagine how hard it is not being able to see them. my heart hurts for u and them. but btw, i am in no way pitying you. i'm filled with nothing else than tremendous admiration for you and your bravery. you're one of the strongest people i've ever known, and the epitome of not giving up on yourself. and u are being an example of that to people that may really need it. i truly can't thank u enough. and i wish u all the best. i know that getting better doesn't mean that things are perfect now. of course healing is a long process with ups and downs.. but you're one hell of a fighter. i love u ♥︎

[@barneythedino821]

It sucks when u have to go through the same thing😥🥺

[@jeteaze]

I’m glad you are educating yourself on what abuse is. That is a really great start to learn how to take care of yourself and setting boundaries with people that abuse you. Studies on emotional and psychological abuse show that it is just as damaging as physical abuse. I hope you eventually see a Trauma Therapist that is licensed in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy. You deserve all the love, support, and attention that you can get. You can also get more scholarships for housing because of your background. Please don’t hesitate to ask if you need info about scholarships for food and housing while you are in college. I don’t know how scholarships work in Canada, but if you live in the US and are in foster care for even just one day, you will get school and housing and books paid for. Please look into it and tell your guidance counselors about your housing situation and the scholarships that you qualify for.

[@keeshaannking7813]

Girl, I'm hugging you 😭❤ I love youuu!!

[@olivialarsten2137]

u are so strong, i love that you spead this message

[@en.rikaaa7585]

i just saw this now and i just feel like i am so proud of you for being so brave, you deserve the world. i personally would want to hear about your healing process since you have come so far.

[@rachelparker880]

This is such a strong story. You are such a warrior. I felt the part about after everything your mom did wanting her to care. I can’t imagine going through everything you do. I am crying watching you cry. The fact that I have anxiety and compared to your life my life is amazing makes me feel so stupid. I love you so much keep fighting princess❤️

[@ShaniceRodd]

I know you're probably tired of hearing things like this but, you are so strong. Not many people would still be on this earth after withstanding all the shit you went through. You are worth the world! You are not defective! You are capable of having a bright future! It's not too late to make your life everything you want it to be. Explore yourself. I know you hadn't been given the time to find your interests, but better late than never! As a complete stranger to another, although I don't know you... I believe in you.

[@snappleapple2851]

That little laugh at 25:51was so cute.. You are so strong and brave and I’m so glad that you go through your situation❤️❤️

[@kevinsterner8526]

I would love to hear about you 7 months later, now as I comment. Me a complete stranger has so much hope and wonderment on your growth as a person. Stay strong, be brave, most of all be honest with yourself and others. I respect you and thank you for sharing your story.

[@shannon53425]

please continue inspiring people with your strength!❤️i hope you’re in a better place now

[@thelifeofmalik2937]

😢😭😢😭 girl you are so brave 💪🏾. I can’t fit in your shoe. You are a inspiration to thousands of people

[@sam62831]

Thank you for sharing this. I'm glad you're still here and I hope you know how strong you are. I know you said you'd be happy to share more but it's totally fine to omit anything you don't want to talk about.

[@TTemb]

This is a really powerful story, thankyou for sharing, stay strong your worth a million dollars!!!! And I'm so glad your in a better situation 💝

[@scrivs__]

You are so strong always remember that! You are not alone and your story is very valuable. You are valuable and all of your life is. I am asking the universe to give you peace. I hope you’re ok 🥺

[@michellerhyner1477]

You are awesome … yes please post part 2 of your story❤️✨❤️ I’m wishing you so much love and healing with each day that passes.

[@charlottewolfe9524]

I have never identified with someone so much... I felt your pain watching your video. Thank you so much for being brave enough to post this for others and to spread understanding. I hope your perspective is much different now to what it has been and I hope you are doing well now. I truly wish you all the best, it takes a huge amount of willpower and motivation to recover your personality fully again but dont give up. You are worth it xxx

[@kcajsnikrep]

To me it is obvious you are very intelligent and capable. You’ve been dealt a bad hand of cards. You have a lot to offer the world. You are resilient. Study hard and achieve your own self worth. Avoid shitty people, be around the best people possible. Beware of flatterers, they’ll have hidden agendas. May god be with you.

[@Yuri-carrera]

Girl! You speak your feelings so clearly and so well! You’re so intelligent! You should write a book! Positive vibes your way

[@lemonbud4297]

Your amazing strong and powerful I don’t think I would’ve made it through

[@SiljeHovDagsland]

Thank you so much for sharing! I saw how hard some parts were for you, but I know sharing is healing, so please continue to do that. I very much look forward to a part 2. I am sending you all the love

[@chanellerundle6454]

your safe with us❤️

[@savannalesko9386]

you’re so strong omg 💞

[@lucyappleton3592]

You're such an amazing and strong person. Thank you for making this and being here❤

[@First._.Last.]

Oh, where to begin. You seem very thoughtful, aware and down-to-earth, and are clearly articulate and well-poised. I imagine that much of it stems from responsibilities and worries at an inappropriate age. How are you doing these days? If you feel up to it, even just a brief check-in is fine. I hope you have support and care for yourself and I'm thinking of you with compassion and tender care. 💜💜 *(This is some channel name....I hope with all my heart that you do not view yourself as being similar to an STD.)

[@domeonthedough]

Take your time, its okay. I’ll always listen to you.

[@vanessescobar8366]

You are amazing! You are beautiful! Smart! Kind! Outspoken! Clever! Many beautiful qualities, virtues. Perfect personality to become a Children's Spychologist.

[@MercurialTorpor]

I don't think you realize what an incredible human being you actually are. You're a breathtakingly beautiful person who was tortured pretty much from birth and NONE of it is your fault despite your mother telling you that. You have incredible sensitivity, intelligence, insight and compassion and are wonderfully articulate. Possessing all of those fantastic qualities is relatively rare and the really sad thing is that those very qualities enhance the impact of psychological and emotional abuse, which transcends abuse and is in fact, torture. Most people imagine suicidal ideation is about killing yourself but it isn't - you just want the pain to stop and that seems the only way to stop it. Yes, I've been there too. Enduring it throughout your formative years is an apocalypse on your psyche. Most healthcare professionals and the vast majority of individuals really don't get what you are dealing with. It has to be experienced at some level to be understood - otherwise people only "think" they understand and can often further traumatize you through a lack of understanding and a "one size fits all" remedy. Sometimes they are downright abusive. The tendency is to pathologize the victim rather than the perpetrator. I do hope that isn't your experience and you are learning to truly love and nurture yourself, and find some inner peace and perhaps even some amount of happiness over time. You are a perfectly normal, indeed wonderful person who was forced to endure unimaginable physical and emotional pain and suffering and yet you retain so much of your authentic self - that makes you prodigious. Your story is immensely powerful and you may want to continue sharing your journey with those of us who genuinely care and who have also experienced the kind of hell you have lived. 💖💖

[@kristicollins807]

Your childhood sounds so traumatic and yet you turned into a beautiful, intelligent, articulate and very caring young lady. I hope all your dreams come true.

[@jeteaze]

I'm excited to see your video about your healing process. It is not your responsibility to take care of your brothers. It is not your fault they are in foster care. It is your mother's fault. Do not put that blame on yourself. There is no guilt or shame in your actions. I know how you feel about the homework anxiety. I felt that way about turning in job applications and editing my resumes for different jobs. My mind you just go blank and I would often disassociate and lose hours of my life and not remember what I did during a few hours time. I thought so low of myself that I was terrified to do the resumes. Luckily, my aunts helped me a lot and eventually my therapist helped me sooooo much. She did a lot of exposure therapy with me and cognitive behavioral therepy before that. Her focus is trauma therapy and it sounds like you have the same issue that I did. Also, the guy I used to date helped me self esteem - wise when I was doing my applications. He told me that not to judge myself or put myself down when I was doing them and just see it as something that has to get done; and it was not an example of my worth. He told me if I did a bad job that he would judge me... but he never did. I dated him for five months and he never put me down or judged me in any way once. I never even knew relationships could be that healthy, loving, respectful, safe, and dependable. He really helped me see my worth and helped reprocesses my brain from being afraid of put downs or not being good enough, to me thinking about just getting a task done and trying to improve a little each time. I hope your therapists were able to help you with your homework anxiety. I got over my resume anxiety and I know you are capable of getting over your homework anxiety too. I feel so free now that I don't put myself down, judge myself, or avoid doing things because I am afraid of being put down. The Body Keeps the Score and The Emotionally Abusive Relationship were two books that really helped me heal and learn more about abuse and trauma and healing. Psychology in Seattle is an amazing podcast and it is a huge part of the reason I was able to get past my traumas. I learned about about attachment style and how abuse effects you later in life. I highly recommend you check out Dr. Kirk Honda. I'm looking forward to the next video. You are a bright girl, you retain a lot of information, and you speak clearly about the information you know. You just weren't in a environment that supported your education.

[@ransomwarevirus3474]

I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope that you are healing. 🙏

[@davidoverton4030]

I agree. She's also a very intelligent, balanced (& Very Attractive) girl. It's so sad you had to go through what you did with no help. It's not your fault your came from a dysfunctional family. I admire you for having come through it all the way you have. I hope & pray you find a good, kind man to marry, who will love and cherish you, and give you the good life that you need and deserve. God bless.

[@xox2367]

I just wanted to tell you, you are amazing, beautiful, hardworking, strong and smart. You didnt deserve any of those things that you had to go through. Those things your mom said about you are not and never were true. Your brothers love you and really appreciate you. I really hope you learn to cope with your anxiety and find peace in your life. Please stick around and keep going, many people in your life and on the internet (including me) care about you.

[@toni6135]

I hope you believe me when I say that you are strong enough to get through everything that life will challenge you with. I see it in you. I hope you do too.

[@peivandshahriari1123]

I can’t be the only one who cried several times during this video

[@jazziyy]

Thank you for sharing your story! You are a survivor through and through!

[@heythere8318]

physical abuse, physical neglect, and emotional abuse and neglect have been found to be the worst combination of abuse, and even worse when the neglect starts before the abuse. you have suffered the worst kind. i’ve dealt with a lot of shit in my childhood and I’m so sorry that you were robbed of your childhood like i was.

[@Guardiangdsd]

You’re beautiful and creative to do a video like this that not only helps you but helps do many people that grew up like this. I’m glad you are sharing story it was healing for me to hear. You had a lot put on you by people who didn’t care about you or themselves. You’re a good person. You’re a good person and deserve the best things and experiences in life. Thanks for sharing your story. I’m 36 just starting to unpack what happened to me.

[@tsegulin]

Incredible that you survived such a horrible childhood. That you did shows you are stronger than you may have realized. Don't anyone tell you that you are somehow "dumb" or "worthless". You are very clear and articulate. Your intelligence has not been broken by what happened, even if your education may have been delayed at times. You are clearly smart enough to catch up over time, when you are able. Remember that you are young and time is on your side. It must have been so hard to record this. That you did shows how determined you can be. You showed such strength of character at such a young age taking care of of your brothers under such duress. You did nothing to deserve this. Don't blame yourself for your brothers being taken from your mum. You did the right thing - she was ill and unable to take care of them. Your brothers are only kids now but someday they will be able to understand and trust me - even if they don't remember all the details - you will always have a special place in their hearts. You can't change your past but (perhaps with a little help) you can build a great future.

[@luceroruiz5349]

Thank u so much for sharing ur story, u are so brave! 💗

[@camillecomtodooamor9751]

Thank you.

[@lukecampbell365]

Poor thing 🫂. Thank you for sharing your story with us - you are so brave to put this out there, as hard as it was to deliver. Stay strong - listening to speak I see a brighter path ahead. You are a strong, young beautiful woman and have so much to live for and accomplish. 🌸

[@Zhimal]

My heart goes out to you, i really hope that you're doing much better now. Can you please do a part 2?

[@sailorscout3045]

You are a very strong young lady it breaks my heart that your mom could do that to you and your brother’s I hope you guys are doing better now hope everyone has a great day or night stay strong stay safe

[@dejayz0166]

Stay positive darling..stay away from negative people surround yourself with like-minded people.. Focus on your goals and know that there are people out here that genuinely want the very best for you.. On this side of the screen are people that support your hopes and dreams.. Love and best wishes from Melbourne Australia..

[@awakarikatase]

I'm glad that you're doing better alltough you have experienced so much shit. You're wonderful and worth so much. I'd be interested in what happened afterwards, but you don't need to push yourself 💕

[@E11iewi11iams]

Girl, your so amazing going out there to make a video on KZbin, I respect you so much your story was so sad and I hope your really doing ok now,

[@dejayz0166]

Listening to you touched my heart and made me realise that as a father I need to continue to support and reach out to my daughter's especially Destiny who is 22 now, that's what listening to you has taught me.. So thank you very much.. You and Destiny my youngest daughter would easily pass as twins..it's uncanny and I'm not lying either.. I guess that's why I listened to your story from start to finish..

[@SkysMomma]

I so wish I could take away all those painful experiences and re-do everything and be your Mom and give you all the love that every child needs. There was never anything wrong with you. You are an amazing, beautiful person. You just didn't get the love you needed. I know getting the love you need will help you heal. So always be sure to put yourself around people who are truly loving and avoid people who are not. That's not always easy, but I think it's especially important and necessary for people who have experienced abuse.

[@SirKevinH]

Bless your heart. I'm so sorry for your sad childhood. You deserved so much better. You are a beautiful young lady and did not deserve the trauma you went through. A lot of people care for you due to this testimony. Reach out if you need a friend!

[@lauridancer1]

You are first of all stunning in the looks department you’re very beautiful, you are an eloquent speaker, how you express yourself verbally shows high natural intelligence, I’m only halfway through your video and felt I needed to say something right now. Your emotional intelligence is off the charts what you have gone through is nothing short of a miracle that you survived it. Your mom unfortunatelywas not equipped to have any children thank goodness your brothers had you as an example, you are amazing young woman❤❤

[@RoyalRedQueen]

I know I am kind of late to the game here....but I feel a STRONG need to tell you something real quick... You...Are..SOOOOO..STRONG! I can't even begin to imagine everything that you and your siblings have been through. Now knowing how intense your story is, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to make this video. It's very scary putting yourself out there, but I am SO proud of you for doing so. Your story is going to impact SO many lives and encourage SO many people to be more open about their lives. You're incredible! SO proud of you! I know we don't know each other AT ALL...but you need to know that you are loved and that you are INCREDIBLY strong for posting this. AMAZING

[@michellealexis6742]

This was so moving. I hope you’re doing better now :)

[@Anjchi]

Hiii, I'm a fan of you and I just wanna say that you are so brave!

[@Ambersands123]

I had anxiety (genetic) ever since I was 15 and didn't realize what was going on or that I had it until I was 25. So you're not alone, anxiety is a weird thing

[@clifforddeavey8943]

You did a clear description well done good job hope you keep it up we need to hear form the ones the abuse happen to.

[@dawnmaestascowell6930]

Only because you are coming forward you will help so many people ...love u sweet girl

[@cliffordnewell2445]

Bless your heart. I am so sorry about your suffering.

[@javifoot4754]

I do hope and pray you are well. You were put on this earth for a great purpose, I do believe that purpose is helping others. God bless

[@lyndawilliams4570]

You are not the cause of any of this bad stuff. You did not deserve any of it. I’m praying for you! You deserve a good life dear❤

[@thesilence8130]

Tysm for making this video! I'm so sorry this happened to you. Myself has been abused and raped by my brother and biological father. I don't know how hard it was for you to go through that but I have my own story and I can't say that I don't understand what you went through.

[@peterkenny3994]

What a lovely young lady, she deserves so much more out of life, I hope she finds true happiness,

[@dejayz0166]

You are a beautiful young woman.. you are a near splitting image of my youngest daughter Destiny.. There are people out in the world that genuinely care.. Focus on achieving your goals for life..one day at a time, share your thoughts, map your progress, stay away from negative people, surround yourself with like-minded people.. You are brave and you matter ok.. I salute you..I send my best wishes to you and your loved ones, DON'T GIVE UP..FIGHT and I'll fight with you.. Use your painful experiences to fuel your determination for a great life.. for yourself and your siblings.. YOU CAN DO IT!!! On this side of the screen we love and pray for you.. You are not alone darling.. GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS!!! 💗😄💗🙏💯😃💗💗🙏💗🙏🙏

[@matthew8760]

i hope you are now in a stable environment and with someone who takes care of you. i see this video was a couple of years ago hopefully youre in a stable relationship too. x

[@IYamWhatIYam136]

You're a beautiful person. Very wise and compassionate. Could you imagine what your brothers would have gone through if you weren't there to help them. Your mom sounds like a narcissist. They only care about themselves. Hope you are doing ok.

[@HeraRose]

I'd like to hear about what happened next if you are comfortable with sharing

[@marcocapello476]

Me to

[@mark_osborne]

My heart just breaks for you sweetie Please do a Part 2

[@shubhsidhu7770]

you’re so well spoken

[@karenlebron-morales8672]

Oh, honey, could you please do a Part 2? I know a young lady who is living a similar situation, unfortunately. I am so sorry for what you have had to go through.

[@Ambersands123]

Sis you're so smart

[@x6Blade9x]

bro i spend the entire day listening to abuse stories..this one is really brutal. I hope things get better. You have a good sense of humor tho - she couldn't drive (maybe its my dark sense of humor) anyways I hope you get better.

[@jessicajimenez5359]

I just want to say that you are beautiful and you are strong it’s so saddened that you had to go through all that but just know that you are worth living you are a purpose and you have a testimony don’t ever let anything else destroy you may you find your inner peace and know that you are worth living you are a beautiful person and strong inside and out be strong my beautiful and always keep the trust and faith in God I promise you things will get Brighton for you I don’t have to know you to pray for you but I am

[@johnanonanon3120]

I hope you are doing much better and your life is much better and you are fulfilling your dreams

[@andrewseaward521]

Wow what a life you ve had. Your beautiful not matter what you think. You have done a tremendous job with your siblings. Never blame yourself you were just a child. Your mother was at fault no you. The kids were taken because of her. You sound very intelligent with so little schooling. You should be proud of what you accomplished. One day you will meet a nice guy have your own kids. You will be such a great mother. God bless you. Your a great example, to the human race. Start to look after you it's time.

[@izzygodfrey6429]

I sort of went through this...,my biological dad would tell me my mom was crazy, we lived in five houses, I'm only 11 right now, two of our apartments had no heating, I don't know why my biillogical dad left my mom, but, I can eemeber the last times I saw him...I was at his house for the weekend, and we were going to sleep, and when he left, I was crying watching my sister has I'm down the streets...I now have kind of started a new life......I try to leave this behind me, but my dad now that I have his last name is nice, but my biological dad's mom is mean to him and my sister that's related to my adoptive dad. I normally go for Christmas but...they won't let my 5 Yr old sister go, so this year I might skip......

[@ezrafisher4718]

Be strong

[@sirsticka9113]

hi your in my prayers.i wish you all the best in life.x

[@jamesvandall6238]

You are awesome 👌 👏 👍 😍 💖 😎 👌 👏 👍 😍 i love your KZbin channel keep up the good work and stay strong because I am big fan of yours 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤

[@vanessescobar8366]

You are very smart! You can start working with different organizations for abuse children and teens as soon as you graduate from high school.

[@exposingbullies260]

You are a wonderful person. 🌳🌻🌳🌷🌳🍄🌳

[@dawnmaestascowell6930]

It's very evil what u went through! God bless your precious ❤️

[@vinnymancaruso3719]

how are you now? is there anything i can do to help ...please let me know.

[@HeraRose]

❤️

[@Lily-zg3lv]

Is it ok to feel really sad and bad

[@romueltumlos2711]

Be strong you make it my dear and don't forget pray 🙏 before you sleep and give it to God all your problem and worries let God solve all of this

[@nathan7682]

I'm so sorry that happened to u 😔😢

[@bonnieburton9985]

I know what you're going through I felt all those ways and went to that but it was a guy that put me through also just sometimes I just don't like or trust people anymore probably not all their faults it's just that you've been done that way it makes you want to hate

[@shybilly3072]

YOU ARE SO AWESOME.... BY TELLING YOUR STORY YOU WILL HELPING MANY MANY SURVIVORS IN THERE HEALING JOURNEY.... I'M ON A HEALING JOURNEY AND YOUR STORY REALLY BLESSED ME THANK YOU..... YOU GIVE HOPE TO OTHERS..... I PRAY THE GOD WILL KEEP YOU AND YOUR FAMILY SAFE AND MAY GOD CONTINUALLY HEALING YOU AND BLESS YOU MORE.... THANK YOU AGAIN... YOU ARE SO STRONG , I SEE IT IN YOU..... 😂😊✝🙏💜

[@BubbleBunnyy]

Honestly I’d enjoy you posting more videos

[@vinnymancaruso3719]

your video made me feel terrible ,im so sorry you had to live that way,

[@lyndawilliams4570]

Loss of memory is a sign of trauma…😢

[@andrewseaward521]

I'm in tears of your life

[@bonnieburton9985]

I used to run off to other states or to woods or run away from home

[@sreerag6007]

Strong 😘❤👍

[@ryvmustdie3764]

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[@petechancetherappercocoabu1615]

I saw your story, ( My Abuse Story Part 1). I was so touched that I would like to know how are you doing these days. If there's anything I could do to help, please let me know. You are one tough young girl. How old are you now and your brothers. By the way, what is your name? 🙏 God bless you.

[@sissisamulin267]

I feel you

[@Authenticsuit]

I thank humanity for not disliking dis vid

[@danandrews2142]

I disliked it

[@samanthasoc7489]

Dan Andrews why?

[@codyway1995]

You are worth it your brothers are worth it you have the option and opportunity to dig a new well to have generations after you to drink from never think that your not worth it ever no matter how hard things may get God gives his strongest soldiers the toughest battles

[@julianne7081]

My mum makes lies about my dad because he doesn’t pay my mum any money and she is a single mum taking care of us (they are divorced)