MY ANOREXIA RECOVERY // feeling uncomfortable with weight gain

[@MadisonTiahn]

I remember my mum used to say to me “But Mady, you need to gain weight, you’ve said that to me before. There’s no reason to be uncomfortable.” I used to reply to her all of the time “I know that, Mum, but EVERYONE, underweight or not feels uncomfortable gaining weight. It is a fact of life.” As much as we want recovery it certainly is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome. But we can overcome it. And we will overcome it. Love you. X

[@megsyrecovery191]

Yeh totally, if you say weight gain that’s immediately associated with a bad thing, just in society generally. Never mind that some people NEED it & it’s actually a great thing for them x

[@dedoubecool]

Amazing! Sounds like we're at very similar stages in our recovery ! I'm at a healthy weight and I hate getting compliments about it. The other day my friend literally told me 'yeah, you just look normal now' and inside I was like oh my that's triggering...

[@megsyrecovery191]

Louella.y it is but it’s also the aim. “You just look normal now” also means more mental space, personality, interests, compassion, energy. Focus on the life positives 🙌

[@chiafairy7091]

But don't you feel like kind of every comment in that section is triggering? Like I used to get really mad about certain comments I got but at some point I realized that it's just that I kind of hate it in general when people comment on how I look, whether it is meant well or not. Like in recovery I used to get soooo mad at my ex-boyfriend because he was trying to encourage me and kept telling me I look good and he likes the way I look but I just HATED to have focus on my body at all. Like I wished I wasn't looked at at all, even if it's positively I didn't like it at all. Because of focus. I didn't want other people to focus on my body. Because then I felt like I was being observed more and therefore my weight gain would be seen more. So I know I used to compliment people too, but I try very hard nowadays to, if I compliment, always make it internal, so nothing too physical. Just because I experienced it as being very triggering before and therefore I try to watch what I put out into the world through my own words too, so my mind follows, kind of? Like if I focus on internal things on others, maybe I'll focus on internal things about myself more too. So if I think oh her face is so pretty, i might comment about her energy or vibe instead, or how genuinely she smiles or something. Gosh now i just rambled on for ages sorry lol

[@megsyrecovery191]

Chia Fairy yehhhh no you’re right, I get you. Also even if you are told you look good, your head races about “well don’t gain any more now”. Yeh much better to value your goodness 🙏

[@h_2503]

@@chiafairy7091 I'm the same, I've never liked personal comments and always wished I just wasn't looked at.

[@lilah1061]

I'm not even a medically healthy BMI yet and i feel so awful and uncomfortable and worthless and sad, and i miss my tiny skin & bones self so much. i miss the "security blanket" of starvation. but you're right that it's so important to remember why we have to recover. i was literally dying when i was that thin. living is scary and hard but it's what we have to do. i so relate to just not wanting to be NORMAL and feeling like the only thing i have to hold onto is being emaciated but until i get to a place where my mind&body are nourished enough to actually work how will i have the capability of finding something else? it's a vicious cycle and breaking it is so so hard but i know i need to try. it's helpful to see you trying as well!!

[@megsyrecovery191]

So so relate!!! Keep going, there is more to life but it doesn’t all fall into place instantly, & you need to free up some space for it first. Which is hard, because that means a period where you’re losing your safety blanket of AN without a “life blanket” to replace it with. Lots of love xxx

[@ellenanning3672]

This is exactly what I needed thank you so much! I just hit the "healthy BMI" and am really struggling with my mind not keeping up with my body. It's exhausting. I didn't think things could be more difficult than the initial weight gain, but I'm beginning to think this adjustment period of acceptance is equally, if not more, difficult. There's no way of knowing how long our minds will take to catch up and we can't measure it like we can the weight gain, but maybe this is when we need to trust in the process and in the meantime, remind ourselves that feeling more "with it" (I 100% feel you on that!) is better than any disorder-controlled life. Much love xx

[@megsyrecovery191]

Ellen Anning yeh exactly #lifepositivebodyneutral

[@KatePearson-h3q]

This is ICONIC!!! You were so upset but you also had a drink and uncertain dinner present throughout. I love you!!!

[@aviadonovan8105]

your psychologist has so many amazing words of validating wisdom!! I feel the same way in my skin, its been so hard to feel comfortable in my skin its so frustrating!! :(

[@megsyrecovery191]

She's incredible!! I hope you can focus on the good thing health brings into your life xxx

[@aviadonovan8105]

Awh thanks im trying! - also idk if you have this book or are interested or not, But mmy nutritionist gave me a book called body kindness by rebecca scritchfield. I recommend you give it a read, It's been helpful (for me at least) towards me being kind to my body and mentally and physically!! :)

[@whodunnit6320]

This was important. Thank you for being honest.

[@knowyourworth855]

Thank you so much for this video. It was extremely helpful. I'm at the same stage in recovery and it can be so difficult. A little confession, the other day I was at the point where I just felt I couldn't do recovery anymore. So, I spent hours playing your videos over and over again. They brought so much encouragement and gave me the strength to continue on. Maybe a bit obsessive, 😂😂😂 but it seriously helped so much. Thank you! You are amazing!!! 💗💗💗

[@megsyrecovery191]

*Carrie Lorenz you must be sick to death of me now 😂😂 glad it helped though, keep going lovely xxx

[@knowyourworth855]

@@megsyrecovery191 Haha.....I doubt if I could ever get sick of you. 😀

[@nourish9927]

My dietician told me that for those of us recovering from eating disorders any small change in our bodies will seem very obvious to us, even though they are not as obvious to others. Although it is not about outward appearances and I hate to put a lot of focus on that I can say that I would never guess you had gained without you telling us. Please know that weight increases are good for you and that your body very much needs it.

[@Busybeeee]

The other people's comments are very very hard for me. People who do not know I struggle with an ED would just come out and say: Wow, you gained weight, your face is different... you look good! That is what made me relapse initially. The way I talk to myself now is by telling myself that what other people think doesn't matter... it's about ME -my recovery and my well being, which may take years to settle( since I suffered a whole lifetime!) Photos are also triggering so for now I just avoid looking at my past photos until I am better able to cope . I love your clarity and sharpness and how you see how your thinking is flawed. I do believe this is something you would not be able to do had you been in the midst of your illness. Your channel is amazing and important for people who are recovering. Thanks for your honesty and keep up the good work Megsy!

[@sarahclark2776]

Thank you so much for this video. It’s really what I needed to watch. Struggling at the moment as my weight is starting to increase, and clothes are feeling different etc. Hard when your IP and people at different weights etc. Decided to stay to more of a healthier weight. Previously I ran away at this bmi, excuse the pun lol as the main reason I’m doing this is so I can return to exercise and regain my life again. Love what you said about not liking your body but seeing it as things that you can do. your videos have helped me so much megs. Keep doing what your doing. Xx

[@megsyrecovery191]

Sarah Clark yeh don’t run, even though every fibre of your being wants to! The only way you’ll ever break the cycle is to push past the weights you’re scared of. Don’t worry what anyone else there is up to, they don’t have to live in your mind & in your life. You know if you’re happy & free or not 😘😘😘

[@sarahclark2776]

Megsy Recovery thank you so much. Your such a motivation and inspiration to me. Your so right about what you say about trying things again and again. Went out to costa for snack with a friend and was able to choose a snack to have that wasn’t my safe option of a cereal bar. Xx

[@megsyrecovery191]

Sarah Clark good for you, challenge, repeat, challenge, repeat, don’t compensate, challenge, repeat 💪

[@carolynharrison3959]

I love love when I see a new video of yours pop into my inbox! Yay! And 2 huge take aways that I learned from this video and other's comments. "I may not love this body but _____", fill in the blank. I also say to myself, "I may not love this body, buy I love myself enough not to put it thru hell.....and not to torture it any more just to fit into my skinny jeans". And the second was the comment, "Bigger Jeans....Bigger Life"! Love that. Just yesterday I cut out the sized of ALL my shorts and jeans...all of them. "I am not a size...I am a person, a woman, a friend, a daughter, a sister, I'm funny, I'm goofy, I'm quirky. But I am not a 'size'". As always, you continue to inspire and encourage me to go another day. :)

[@megsyrecovery191]

Carolyn Harrison 💛💛💛💛 yeh I’m finding getting rid of old clothes really hard as well, but I know it’s something I need to do 🙈

[@ritaconte9055]

Carolyn Harrison Amazingly said Carolyn 🙌 It’s what we say after “I am” is really what we feed our brain! & we are all so much more 😊 I also jump up with joy 🤗 when a new vlog pops up! Meg what a wonderful human being she is... So honest So Spot on every Time! So much admiration & appreciation for Meg for what she does! Not easy 🙈 👑 x

[@megsyrecovery191]

Awwwww my girls, love you!!!

[@carolynharrison3959]

That was the hardest thing I have done. It's like letting go of who I was then, and I did sorta of have to grieve that loss. Letting go of "her" and accepting my new body, and giving them away feels final....like, I'll never be that girl again. Verses when I just put them away, out of sight, I would keep it in the back of my mind that I COULD try to get back into those skinny clothes one day. It's hard, but also now that they are gone, so freeing! And now I never even think about them at all. Have Brendon with you, and make it fun...turn fun music on and celebrate for every piece you put in the bag! Then, let HIM take them to Goodwill, or wherever. It's hard, but ends up freeing you a bit. Hugs to you!

[@megsyrecovery191]

Carolyn Harrison such a nice message, thank you!! I can image it’s quite liberating, but totally get going trough a period of grief & loss... at least it’s loss that actually ends up gaining you life, personality, interests, empathy etc... ☺️

[@ags2121ze]

I appreciate that you are voicing your struggles. I wish I could answer your questions but I'm in the same predicament. I just know from hearing others talk, that it takes a year or so after you overshoot for everything to go back to normal. Keep hanging in there. You have a strong mind and an even stronger resolve.

[@beautifulbabygirl9126]

I totally relate to the fear of looking normal. i am considering recovery, but i'm afraid i'll go back to looking the way i did before (which was a completely healthy weight). I'm still technically at a healthy weight, but smaller than before, because i force myself to eat more than i'm comfortable with in order to somewhat maintain my health. It's extremely difficult for me. It's like there's two people in my head fighting with each other.

[@ileneeo]

It is definitely a two fold process at this point, for me. I am physically healthy but that food struggle mentally is the hardest. Coming to terms with my new body in the recovered state and just allowing social situations like you mentioned to just naturally unfold without obsessing over food details is such a huge hurdle. It is a lot of repeat, repeat, repeat. I hope your dinner with friends went well💪🏼💛

[@kimberley45]

Yes I feel very similar! My dietitian has been too telling me that the mind can take some time to catch up. I have been struggling with being in a new healthy body, and yep the ED is giving me bloody grief. You are so right Meg, feeling uncomfortable is part of recovery, and it won't last forever. Such helpful tips, and words of insight! I truly needed to hear this today, as it's been a shit day in ways. I have also been trying to acknowledge all the positives now I am healthier, it's so important to keep reminding yourself! This has encouraged me to keep doing opposite actions, love "Challenge . Repeat". Thank you for sharing Meg, so honest xxoo

[@AZKflamenco]

Thanks so much for sharing such an important part of recovery. Your channel has been such an amazing support for me! I’m in exactly the same place and I really feel you! I always try to remind myself that this is the hardest and biggest achievement and keeping on right now is true warrior stuff! I don’t know if you like dancing but I also find that I can enjoy my body most when I lose myself in the music and movement of it! Just freestyle! No pressure 💃🏻😊 - letting my body do its thing xxx

[@megsyrecovery191]

Funnily enough I’ve been thinking about starting a dance class. Sometimes we just dance around the apartment 😂

[@BittersweetMayhem]

Yesssss the rose tinted glasses, i always think my skinny days are my glory days

[@chanis6307]

I'm exactly at this point; fully physically recovered but my mind is a mess. It's so hard! I try to think about the good parts of recovery but the voice in my head keeps telling me I'd be even happier if I was just a bit skinnier and being so uncomfortable in my body makes it very hard to fight back. I find myself doing anorexic behaviors more and more and I'm afraid that I'm fully slipping back into AN. This video is so honest and just exactly how I feel, so thank you. Stay strong 💕

[@megsyrecovery191]

Rose tinted glasses! There is NOTHING good about being skinny, other than that tiny little buzz you hold onto like "yay I'm skinny".... But really it should be "Yay, I just ruined all my relationships and now I think about food all the time and I don't really care about my family and friends properly because all I can focus on is food". It's not really a yay at all, I hope you can keep reminding yourself that, even when your heads twisting it xxxx

[@kathleendowner6506]

Thankyou I am at the stage where I'm just starting to feel fat I'm OK with it but it's not easy this video has really helped me xx

[@shotgunwedding277]

I've had a tough night and have been crying and watching your videos and now I'm eating ice cream. You really help me keep my hopes up because your honesty lets' me kow that I'm not alone in this shitty mindset that "being small is a good thing" because it doesn't fuckng matter. Size is in all reality so incignificant. Such a dumb subject to obsess over and I fucking hate it. I want my menstruation back, I don't want a distorted mindset, why did this happend to me? Anyway I love you

[@deyanira008]

Thats such a great perspective to view recovery and body discomfort. Yea...that is a difficult aspect in my life, feeling like I'm in a body suit...thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this...I'm proud of your accomplishments.😎👍👍🖤🙂

[@francisfarmerwillhavethat]

About 3 to 4 days ago I threw away my favorite jacket because it didn't fit me anymore no matter how hard I tried pathetically. At first I thought I was fine after getting rid of it but all my ED related thoughts started to bug me so much. I've been depressed since then. This video helps me so much I really appreciate it. I cannot thank you enough for you and your channel.

[@megsyrecovery191]

Good for you, it's such a hard thing to do but SO IMPORTANT to get rid of old clothes. Fitting into them means fitting into isolation, misery, rigidity, not caring about anything other than food and weight. It's so hard to let that stuff go and accept a healthier body, but it brings SO MUCH MORE LIFE with it. Really hope you can focus on the goodness you're building in life xxxx

[@lindsayoldham4457]

Meg, this is so helpful and great! Hearing you talk about your experiences like this really helps me (and it sounds like others!) fight the 'one rule for me, one rule for everyone else' thinking. Also, as I have started listening to my body (or trying to) and gaining weight, one feeling I have been having is a deep respect for and amazement at it, that after so many years of being cruel to it and not listening to it, it still knows so exactly what it needs, and remains determined to get it. So maybe I am learning to love the wisdom of my body, even though I remain terrified of its changing shape and size. :)

[@megsyrecovery191]

Lindsay O yeh, totally. Even though we’re terrified of our body’s messages & hunger it’s actually incredible really to think that that’s our body’s healing themselves & telling is exactly what’s they need. Good old body’s 🙌

[@Plantje1999]

I so understand!! I feel the same with the I am scared about being normal. But then I think like nobody is normal and your personality is what makes you special. You don't need an eating disorder to be different and not 'normal'.

[@vegasbabe4193]

I can relate to this so so much. I also feel uncomfortable at this stage of my recovery but I'm trying to push through this because I love traveling and I want to be able to eat whatever food there is, and not feel guilty for two weeks after.

[@BittersweetMayhem]

I love this so much. Yes yes i want to be skinny, to be skinny is special. So hard to get over that.

[@claireelise7456]

This is so relatable for me right now. Like you are speaking my mind. Thank you so much !

[@alisonjohn]

I can really relate to all you say. I fear being normal & I don't know what my identity will be without having an ED. I feel uncomfortable after having put on even 2 pounds in weight! I get a bit disappointed if my sister says I look well- oh no, I've gained weight. My face looks fatter BUT I KNOW I need to gain weight as I am scared of developing osteoporosis! I'm 50 and I worry about my bones. I have low bone density too. Look after yourself Meg. Be happy and eat for strong bones and happiness! I hope you had a wonderful birthday last weekend. It's my birthday in 2 weeks. Ax

[@megsyrecovery191]

Awwww happy birthday!!! Hope this year can be a healthier more fulfilling one - with life stuff in it, not just weight and food worries. Lots of love xxxx

[@marias.1845]

dear Megsy, thank you so much for your videos! it’s amazing how you decode the irrational eating disorder thoughts! I’ve learnt so much out of it and it helped me so much to see things more clearly about my eating disorder. something that helpes me every day to copy with being at a “normal” weight and the fear of not knowing if it already is my bodys set point weight is that I try to look at it with curiosity, I tell myself, that it is going to be amazing when my body realizes a 100% that I don’t starve or hurt or suppress myself anymore so that my body feels safe and knows that it gets whatever it needs whenever it needs it, so that it can just be strong and stable. the curiosity about it is how will my body feel when this happens... it keeps me going and to think like this makes me a bit enthusiastic. don’t know if I am articulate, my english isn’t that good but I hope I can share something positive with you! sending you all the best!

[@megsyrecovery191]

Maria S. Perfectly articulate, yes that’s really helpful. And nice to see how much better the body does feel as it gets healthier... even if we don’t feel nice or comfortable in it yet xxx

[@annerittwage1401]

I try to remember why I must recover. Today I was talking to my brother on FB whom I've been pushing away a bit, and he we were talking about his pregnant wife, and he said something like: "I hope you can be there when my our first baby arrives in July/August". And it just kind of hit me, that I'm not alone in this world. I will have responsibilities in the future. I also want to be healthy enough to be as happy for them as everybody else when the baby arrives, and not still be so stuck in my ED ways like I am now. If there will be cake, I want to be able to eat it and not say "no thank you, I'm too scared to eat cake still".

[@nstitz3745]

I think this will help a lot of people.. many people feel the same. Great video 💜

[@4emmelie11]

I often think we mistake the word skinny in our heads. In dutch we accually have several words for skinny. Skinny in our head is bones and really on the low end. And the second we lose that even a little, we feel on the side of ‘fat’ but even without seeing bones, you can still be skinny or slim. And then again, it really shouldnt matter right. Lots of love and so proud of you :*

[@megsyrecovery191]

Totally, skinny also doesn't cover your goodness as a person. And for me the skinnier I get the more goodness I lose. Which is why it's so messed up that I still fall for skinny = happy. Blugh.

[@Snickerdoods.x]

This video came at the perfect time. I’m struggling with this so much right now. I’m at the beginning of recovery and haven’t weight restored yet, but I’ve been trying. I’m going on vacation to the beach in 6 weeks and now all I want to do is stop trying to weight restore just for now so I don’t look “fat” in a bikini. I don’t know how to get that out of my head and put my recovery first. I’ve only gained a little so far and I’m already so uncomfortable, I can’t wear a bathing suit at this size... I can’t imagine wearing one when I’ve gained more. I told my mom I’ll commit to recovery when we get back but we all know that’s probably a load of crap. A big issue for me is that I don’t have a life outside of my family (just my mom and step-dad, I don’t have anyone else) so it feels pointless to recover. I’m on disability for (unrelated) health problems so I don’t have a job, I can’t go to school, I don’t have any friends, I’m alone about 80% of the time. I just feel so stuck. I wish I had more motivation and more of a reason to want to recover. People will say “you could die if you don’t get better” but quite honestly I don’t think I’d really care. By the way, you truly look absolutely radiant and I’m so happy for you that you’re doing so well and working through the discomfort. I’m going to try my best to do the same.

[@megsyrecovery191]

Just Gina maybe for your vacation try to take the focus off your body entirely. We don’t go on holiday for a bikini. We don’t look back on our lives & remember bikinis. There is so much more to enjoy in life. I really hope you can go against your head & thoughts & make some space for enjoying the holiday. Do you see anyone to help you?

[@Snickerdoods.x]

Megsy Recovery Thank you for the response. I’ve been trying to find a therapist but there isn’t anyone in my area who accepts my insurance and I can’t afford to pay for one on my own. There’s an eating disorder treatment center about an hour away that takes my insurance and they have outpatient therapy but they told me I’m not severe enough so they won’t accept me as a patient. I don’t understand why places do that. You’d think they’d want to help prevent people from getting worse.

[@sophieward7049]

This is very much where I am at. My body is very healthy now, I get the “you’ve curved out” comments which are not helpful whatsoever, and the draw to go back to bad habits is awful. My worry is that - when does it stop? Because I wasn’t feeling too bad till I got my boobs back (what the hell is that about?!?) but I immediately thought “shit - my body has totally changed I need to stop now”. Some days are definitely worse than others.. how do you mediate those thoughts and stop thinking you’re going to balloon forever and ever?? It feels like round 2, round 1 was the necessary weight gain and now round 2 is sitting in this new body I don’t recognise or feel comfortable in and trusting that I’m not going to gain 50 stone.. I think body neutrality is definitely a reasonable milestone. I don’t think I’m ever going to love my body but I just want to accept it.. thanks so much for sharing meg x

[@ellynash4922]

It is so saddening that I blindly valued my anorexia behaviours and rules as THE only and first priority. Above anybody else and friends I quickly lost. You are certain not alone with that ! Elly x

[@megsyrecovery191]

It's terrible how much we lose to it isn't it!!! A good reason to be healthy and eating and not give it another day of your life or ounce of your personality xxx

[@ritaconte9055]

MEG❤️SY = SPECIAL 🙏🏻 Thankyou dearly xx

[@BarbaraMadimenos]

I am suffering now with weight gain too. Like, it is driving me crazy. Despite the fact I am still underweight, just the weight I HAVE put on has me afraid of "losing control" and becoming "normal". I think this fear of being "normal" comes from feeling I am inadequate in comparison to everyone (appearance, intellectually, persona, etc.) so, I am illogically thinking that if I become "normal" I will be even uglier, even more stupid, and even more unattractive through character. Like, it's fucked up, no? haha Aside from my crazy brain, you, my dear, are amazing, inside and out. I know it's hard, but good gosh, there is no reason to love you, your generosity in making these videos, and admire your strength in pushing through.

[@megsyrecovery191]

Keep going yourself, I hated hated hated the weight gain, but honestly I am glad I did it. Life generally has gotten so much better, I just need to remind myself that when I am hating my body or wishing I was skinny again. It's nuts, it made my life miserable!! Hope you can focus on life too xxx

[@marengray646]

I am in the exact SAME place as u..soo needed to hear this❤😊thank u so much😊🙌❤congrats on your wedding❤❤❤❤

[@ariellemilla3628]

You're wonderful, it is so helpful to hear you, see you almost every day on your videos... I couldn't tell you how thankful I am for all of your videos and sharing ❤️ Could you please make a video on how to stay motivated? I am very far from recovery, but i try, and when i succeed in eating something different, and when i challenge my fears, it never becomes a habit, and i don't succeed in doing it again... (I hope you understand what I mean, sorry, i'm not a native english speaker, i'm french!)

[@megsyrecovery191]

Yes I did actually make one, but I know it's such a big thing and my motivation comes and goes too. i'll try and do another one for you kzbin.info/www/bejne/mXnIkJdqfL2ZgtE

[@justsomebody7702]

Such a good topic and so well said!!

[@emilyl1260]

It always takes the mind longer xx love your updates inspiring xx

[@genevieveasseo6620]

I just had to say (whether it is a good thing or not) that, at least in this video, you look no different from your January videos, and I don't know what BMI you would have been then. I really SOOOO understand what you're going through, as I've been through it too many times in life. But sometimes the very small change *we* notice is so minuscule that others don't even notice it. One thing that I try to remember, when others have said "you're looking better/healthier/etc", is that perhaps, more often than not, "looking better" has NOTHING to do with weight or size or shape. It is probably more to do with our eyes looking brighter, our skin glowing more healthfully, the energy we exude being more positive and happier, our smiles being more genuine, and just ourselves feeling more at peace. All those things make someone "look healthier" and are completely unrelated to weight. You may not, at the moment, be wearing that "anorexia security blanket", but it is always with you and you have to make sure it does not sneak back around. Hang onto what you've achieved this year with your diet, learning how to enjoy meals out without worrying, and at the same time still managing to maintain the tiny weight you currently are. You've come a LONG way, and I know that many people only wish they could achieve what you have. Good work!

[@hettijayne]

love your channel meg, are you able to do a video about how youve managed to live in Dubai and nyc? totally irrelevant to annorexia haha but im just intrigued I live in the uk and id love to live abroad. Also what job do you do?

[@user-fw5wb4rt2n]

Very helpful to hear about your thoughts around accepting a changing body. Did you have to buy new clothes or did you buy more comfortable clothes in recovery? Is it hard to go shopping because your body has changed? And did your period get back since you are in a normal BMI range? I totally agree with the body neutral way of looking at things, appreciating your body for what it allows you to do in live instead of trying to control your body for looking a certain way. But it takes really time to adjust to a body that looks and feels different!

[@megsyrecovery191]

Still no period but yes I've had to get new clothes, which i have HATED! I might do a video on it actually, because I do think it's so important! We need to be comfy in clothes, and not pining after smaller sizes

[@user-fw5wb4rt2n]

Yeah, would make a good topic! We can't recover AND keeping the same small sizes of clothes! Buying new clothes is part of accepting the changes. Feeling the clothes so tight on your body can trigger relapses, so comfy clothes are the way to go (also when digestion is bad, it can feel so much more relaxing to wear loose fitting things!)

[@bremarie8392]

have you touched on how you personally deal with others and diet talk? the hardest thing im facing right now is trying to deal with understanding that for me gaining weight is healthy, but literally EVERYONE thinks that is the worst thing you can do and how they are on diets and blah blah blah. love you

[@megsyrecovery191]

Bre Marie yes hun, in one of my recent videos called something like recovering in a disordered society 😚

[@jenna8334]

I can totally relate to this!! Thank you so much for sharing!!

[@i_h2081]

Those things like not being present and having more energy I have those. I find it hard to describe to people the not feeling present...

[@lisamariejones2838]

This was so helpful, thank you so much! xx

[@baharshokoohi4891]

do you practice body neutrality when you're eating or getting dressed? when is the best time to do this practice to make it work?? thanks megsy

[@chiafairy7091]

I've been at a set weight naturally for almost a year and I can tell you something, the way you look and feel your own body can still be disordered. Like remember this exercise you had to do where you need to look at EVERBODY and not just the skinny people? Well you or let's say 'we' have been looking at 'skinny' people for years and idolized them, so of course that is still our perception. Maybe you can try actively looking for different types of bodies around you and find beauty in them instead. Like really find what's beautiful in a lot of different types of bodies. And when you catch yourself idolizing a skinny person again, remind yourself how rude it actually is if we're honest, to assume these people are happy just because they are skinny. Like, what if they worked hard to overcome very traumatic experiences in their lives but here we are starting at them and just minimizing their current happiness to the fact that they're skinny. Generally to put them down to that fact. I also sometimes try to find things that these girls might be self-conscious about. Like look at them and find things, if you were them realistically what could be your insecurities because EVERBODY has them. You could try those things too, they helped me a little as well

[@megsyrecovery191]

Chia Fairy thanks so much for the message. This is exactly what my psychologist gets me to do. She says as soon as you look at (& idolise) a skinny girl force yourself to look around at other people & see the diversity in bodies. Skinny “prefect” figures are not the norm, & then like you say also if you really look at that girl she’s not perfect herself. She will have insecurities. But I just zone in on the “perfect” parts, & neglect the whole of the rest of her body / personality / life. It’s so true. Thank you!! 💛

[@chiafairy7091]

@@megsyrecovery191 Right! It's really hard because it feels so forced at first but it is really comforting, isn't it? Thank you so much for all the great advice you always give out, it's really helpful and reassuring! It's pushed me to really question if i am fully recovered and go further with my journey and really challenge EVERYTHING. I love it! Lots of courage and strength to you!

[@chiafairy7091]

Honestly, remember you saying 'just do it'? Loving your body is kind of the same. Just force yourself to really celebrate your body even if it feels wrong at first, honestly it's quite funny to try. I like sometimes do this as an exercise where I just do this huge love speech to my own body for everything, how it looks, how it feels and how it allows me to live. You'll figure it out eventually what's the best way for you! Usually it's much more dramatic to experience than it looks from the outside.

[@megsyrecovery191]

Chia Fairy ooooh I’ll try. Love your advice, thank you!!

[@amandasmith3306]

Thank you!!!

[@hannahsherwood2940]

This is SUCH a good video 😁❤️

[@lieke.6929]

SO helpful, thank you!

[@bananayummyable]

I'm having such a hard time with extreme hunger ☹️ I've been eating nonstop for 5 days and I feel like I'm just going to balloon. Will it stop? Is 5 days going to bring me to a healthy weight or is it just water? I'm so scared.

[@megsyrecovery191]

B R for me the hunger had definitely gotten better. So stick with it. The hunger comes because of the restriction, so don’t go back to restricting - that’ll just make it worse!

[@lindsaywilliams3774]

So relate. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

[@kt.g.3055]

I know you're right ... i know it... but... last week i was 44.5 kg and... because of my nutritionist today i am 45.5 kg... and my belly is so big that i cried the whole day... and it's so hard...because I know i'll weight more tomorrow...and the next days...and i'm so...so scared....

[@kamal4948]

Hy how are you now . Did you lose overshooot weight now ??

[@kt.g.3055]

@@kamal4948 they gave me a chance before the hospital...so i had to take weight...they asked me to reach 48kg...but i am so scared...i am between 46-47 depending on the days...but each time i reach 47.1 and i see my belly...i cry for hours... i also started to eat less because of that ... to even skip meals... but they don't know about it... they just think that my digestiv system works really really good... so i would say that i am worst than 1 year ago...but with 1kg gained...

[@kamal4948]

@@kt.g.3055 hyy . You should eat more because that you slow your metabolism more . If you stay like that you became dispersed and insominia heart desease and finaly dead . You should eat to feel fullnes . Yes in first you start gain a loot of weight but that weight it is not fat just water retention and stor clycogen may be you become in recovery oberweight but after months your metabolism speed up and your hunger cues decrease and you will starting lose overshoot and return to set point may be previous weight if you not have a lot of time restrict

[@kamal4948]

@@kt.g.3055 sorry 😐 for the gramatical errors as it not my mother tongue 😜 good luck

[@kimberlyearly8918]

I’ve been at a healthy weight for a few years now but my brain is still really messed up! I’m still super uncomfortable in my own skin and I hate it! And I get mad at myself because I can’t starve myself like I used to! Ugh!! Also, people haven’t commented on my weight in ages so in my mind it’s because I look fat.

[@megsyrecovery191]

Kimberly Early which it’s obviously not, but as I said in the video even being “normal” & healthy is hard for me to accept. But then so is wasting my life on starving myself & obsessing over suppressing my weight. So.... 🤷‍♀️ hope you can focus on the life positive things as well #lifepositivebodyneutral

[@ThriveOnWheels]

Uncomfortable weight gain is one of the main problems scares me away from starting my recovery..... I keep arguing with my mind on my channel and hoping that I can have a awakening moment... but I’m still having a hard time to break through... what helped you to push you let go of restriction.?

[@gretavil]

Darling you need to dive in, you should chose recover and would be great! I'm almost recovered and to be honest is the best feeling Ive ever had! You must love yourself and accept your natural body shape, throw the skale away! I haven't step in a skale in two years and OMG! I look way better than before, I have a boyfriend and I'm so happy. I recommend YOU to chose recover by yourself and you wont look back anymore. Cheers

[@stephanieyeshuaislife7236]

Your videos are very helpful, Megsy. I enjoy them very much! (I also love watching you drink Starbucks.…..) :-D

[@Ella-ps1lg]

I know part of recovery is to stop focusing on what we look like so much, but my god compared with the early videos where you didn't look so well, you now you look so healthy and so so beautiful yet still really slim. Wish you could see and feel how gorgeous you look - I hope you get there. I feel like i'm still bony shoulders and bony back yet fat legs, tummy and boobs and my skin is bad. It's not how i wanted to gain weight and I feel like everyone in recovery online is gaining weight evenly and just looking better and better!

[@megsyrecovery191]

Ella mines actually not completely even, but I don’t think anyone’s is ever perfect, & you always feel it worse on yourself. Stick with it darling xxx

[@chiafairy7091]

Stephanie Marie recently said like she still got chicken legs but bloat belly lol i could so relate. Because I gained weight like a sponge around my stomach but my upper body was still bones and skin. I mean even at my lowest weight I had fat stored on my legs and stomach because I'd just loose weight everywhere else first, but that's life and it'll even out eventually, and it'll be soooo much better than before because your body's proportion will actually kind of start making sense all of a sudden. 😂

[@Ella-ps1lg]

Thankyou so much Chia Fairy! x

[@Ella-ps1lg]

Thanks Megsy. It's such a body dysmorphia ED symptom anyway - "everyone is slimmer and more in proportion than me in recovery!"

[@rosieone4533]

I'm pretty much the same! My tummy is larger than my boobs! It makes me so uncomfortable and I am just so round and weird in places, I literally look like I have balloon hips. Lets keep strong! My face is so round now and SO spotty. * voms * I've started to experiment with make-up more on the areas I like. I like my eyes so I've found ways to make them stand out more and started to do my hair up a bit more, just to help me feel a little bit better.