My Best Friend Left Me For My Ex // EP 3 - Pretty Lonesome

(Video podcast available on Spotify & KZbin) This week on Pretty Lonesome, Madeline talks about her ex best friend. She believes ex besties can be harder to get over than ex relationships, and discusses how hard it can be to forgive someone who you truly trusted. In her discussion of forgiveness, Madeline admits that forgiveness isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. She feels that forgiveness should only serve the person who is giving it, not the person who is receiving it. While she has been in both positions, she admits that she would never encourage anyone to rush themselves into forgiving another person. After all, Madeline believes that forgiving too quickly can cause more hurt in the long run. Finally, Madeline shares her belief in manifestation and offers advice for those looking to find their own voice. She reveals that she often used to go on “hot girl walks”, saying manifestations out loud to herself while visualizing cutting physical ties with another person. Madeline is convinced that this method worked wonders with her ex and ex bestie. Join Madeline on Pretty Lonesome for a conversation on relationships, toxicity, forgiveness, manifestation, and finding your voice. Follow and connect with all things @PrettyLonesome across Instagram, TikTok, and KZbin.

[@Motherplantmusic]

There is actually a saying: Arguing with smart people is hard. Arguing with stupid people is impossible.

[@DarrenGreat_]

they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience

[@UncWedlockGaming]

and then people side with them when they're clearly braindead

[@vhjvbhjb5280]

That is the truest thing I’ve ever heard. They always come with a excuse or they somehow turn it on you.

[@chiefkeyes5359]

The dilemma is what is considered "smart" and what is considered "stupid" is up for interpretation because once upon a time it was smart to sacrifice your first born but now it's considered stupid also it's considered smart to burn fossil fuels now we are becoming to understand that it's stupid because it destroys our environment, as well as it was once considered smart to get married now it's stupid because it leads you to think you have the right to own someone else because you have shared yourself with someone physically and mentally which you don't. What conundrums humans put themselves through but that is the process of evolution essentially.

[@Nhask666]

Well said.

[@_NetPositive]

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” - Mark Twain

[@emilyravary284]

This was my favourite pod yet. Such lovely sentiments on friendship, falling outs, and not needing to award someone the forgiveness they want to relieve themselves. So so so good

[@Eve65901]

Being gaslit is the worst thing because for the longest time you feel like you are in the wrong and so confused. Yet you still have your truth deep down that exists but nobody seems to even acknowledge it. I had the situation from my closest friend and it was painful.

[@vhjvbhjb5280]

You let yourself get gaslit. You have to realize when they do it. If it happens once you should be able to catch it in the future.

[@Sam-0827]

Yessss like it’s insane

[@yinbambi]

wait till you date someone that works for the cia

[@user-om6sp8nn2i]

this podcast is so good i could listen madeline talking for hours

[@elifkelleci3122]

SAMEEE

[@sophiaisabelle01]

Seems like your best friend is quick to latch onto someone else without thinking too much about it. Clingy people can go off the rails. I've seen people who go through such lengths to get another person's attention even if clearly it got them to their how breaking points later on.

[@Amqni]

People are such losers saying she takes too long to get to the story.. she is not here to give you tea. This is a podcast on feelings, selfworth and identity etc. NOT a gossip podcast. Wake up to yourself. “Taking forever to get to the story” SHES NOT HERE TO TELL YOU THE DETAILS ON WHAT HAPPENED WITH WHO.

[@user-np8yf8fj2w]

wait who has said that?

[@Amqni]

@@user-np8yf8fj2w so many people. Read the damn comments. Saying she beats around the bush and didnt explain the situation.

[@julievansteenberghe6819]

Hearing you vent literally makes me feel better abt my situation. Pls don’t ever stop.

[@grandmaster6215]

You like women

[@sillycatgirl]

something about this video completely healed me. i went through something similar about 2-3 years ago and i was devastated. it was one of if not the hardest friendship breakup ive ever experienced. and its interesting because when you talk in this video, you describe every exact thought and feeling i was going through and shifting through my mind after being traumatized by something like that. you just put it all into words and i appreciated it sm.

[@Olivia-ff7kx]

Came to the comments bc that’s exactly how I feel it healed me just 11 min in rn, her voice really soothes me as well for some odd reason

[@caro5620]

you’re one of the people who’s the most deserving of having a platform. i found your channel at the time in my life that i needed it most. i so appreciate how spiritual, wise, and articulate you are. with your conscious views, you basically beat the matrix.

[@jayfox601]

No idea who you are, but the things you spoke about are far from crazy. You had your own ‘universe’ or reality crushed and left you with desillusions because they wanted their own ego to be preserved. And didn’t mind your heart and feelings. The fact you pulled out with all the fears and unraveling what was true or not must’ve been extremely exhaustion. Pure respect for you and hope you are well. Nicely done woman, that’s some special mental strengths you got. Don’t let anyone take that away. Makes you special and makes you you. 👋🏾

[@d.oertliche]

I've had similar experiences to that and more than once too. I've started therapy this year and it feels like I have finally been able to cut those energy ties from the people who hurt me. In a way I feel reborn again. And I don't know why but I just wanted to share this. Therapy is really just that transformative if you keep up with it. My mind is blown by that hahaha

[@wricaeong]

i love when madeline and nailea post on the same day

[@SoAz-dp9im]

Same!!

[@annabelsofia_]

REAL

[@hannahxxo]

said nailea posted !??

[@mollyreagan2982]

Love how you speak on gaslighting trauma. Touched my soul truly. Thank you for posting this

[@diaryofalostgirl.8039]

Im going to diary here because journaling doesn’t feel enough. I was with my girlfriend for almost two years in august. We met when I was 17 and I’m now 19. I literally built this girl up and encouraged her to be herself, get her haircut, love her body. I helped her though university, moving into her accommodation in Bolton and Manchester. I helped her with every little thing money food family problems. I was the one who sat with her when she cried, washed her in the shower when she couldn’t, we spent every waking moment together. She was my first everything. Every new years, every birthday, every day it was us. She made me feel like I was floating. We even went abroad together and she took care of me after a dangerous surgery. I was there every single football game, cold/hot/rainy. 2 precious years of everything. Sleeping next to each other, every part of London we explored together. I’m the only person to ever get close to her and see her Intimately. She cheated on me throughout May to July and lied to me. My soul and heart is shattered. She cheated multiple times with her ex of two months (they met 2 years prior and she said it ended toxicly). She lied to me even in my birthday. I feel used. Dead Inside. She wrote vows and bought an engagement ring for my birthday. She’s now on dating apps and talking to random girls and it’s only been a week. Calling them gorgeous when I’ve never been called that in two years. It’s mad how she was my whole world. Absolutely crazy how she did me so dirty. Even going as far as exposing my family problems to her friends and the girl and calling me ugly and flat. I even met up with her friends at a restaurant with her in June when I didn’t know, they smiled to my face. And knew it all. It’s cathartic. I’ve never felt my literal heart be shattered before.

[@LaylaReab]

I'm so sorry love. I promise it will get better obviously this Person Meant so much to you And had such a significant Impact on your life that does not mean in any way That they were good for good for That they were good for good for you and meant for you..... Even if it felt that way Doesn't mean it's true You deserve so much better You deserve so much better. I went through a break-up Last summer My ex had cheated on me with a girl He was Friends friends with And I had 0 work about it because I trust in him End the last time And the last time I expect it Me and captain from me for 2 weeks and his best friend Me and captain from me for 2 weeks and his best friend had told me 2 weeks like the day I had it happen See the way he lied and the way he was manipulating And I would never wish that experience on anyone But I learned so much about How much A person Can manipulate you Change so many things About you For themselves. It is incredibly sad And I wish you well I truly hope Everything Gets better. You seem like a cool kind hearted person Don't let anyone bring you down when they didn't care enough To let you grieve In peace After The relationship ended. (Also mind my capitalization And grammar I typed this with voice chat) Sending love

[@diaryofalostgirl.8039]

@@LaylaReab Thankyou so much. Genuinely you don’t know how much this means to me. I’m healing now and I’m in a much better place than I was. I’m so content :)

[@AA-qb7ni]

I really respect and thank Madeline for being so open about her life cos it really does help us. This is my favourite podcast 💕💕

[@FriedaLeahx]

When you were talking about cutting energy ties, esp with naracisstic people, it kinda makes sense bc of the law of detachment. The minute you stop caring is when what you were so deeply yearning for before, actually happens - crazy how it all works

[@sophieav777]

sometimes i feel like we are the same person because we have such similar personalities and have gone through such similar things 😭😭😭 i enjoy these podcasts SO MUCH you are the absolute best madeline!!!!! my fav podcaster/ youtuber forever

[@user-np8yf8fj2w]

i know exactly how you feel, someone you trusted so much betraying you comes as such a shock you really don’t know which way is up, i still think about it like how tf did i go through that

[@julianatuhan]

never stop podcasting. i love these and you so much

[@ki2348]

madeline, your commentary on this and the whole pretty lonesome project has already helped me realize stuff about myself so much since discovering it yesterday. i'm oddly looking forward to next monday!

[@elenajohnson1148]

actually thank you so much for this i've been having similar experiences over the past year and it's comforting to know i'm not alone and that over time it gets better! ❤️

[@Tight_Conduct]

I've had similar traumatic experiences, and I couldn't agree more narcissistic people are completely in-tune to their victims!

[@6lack5ushi]

"I cant process the emotions of a stupid person" oooooooh I felt you on that one!

[@Rodion-ro9hi]

"...the more I grow and the more I go to therapy, the more my goal is to become who I was when I was six years old again, because that was the purest, most loving, most kind, most genuine version of myself; her hobbies, her interests, her reactions to things, I'm trying to get back to them..." You sometimes say things that really have an impact on me, but it happens so randomly during your talks, you don't even realize how beautiful are some of the things you say, as if Apollo likes to show up in your speeches, and kiss you, and then go again. I've never thought about it before, I'm so far from the child I was, at least that little dude had some things clear in his mind back then

[@ulkua777]

i feel the exact same way about her too and the way that you describe how you see her was beautiful and also i hope that someday you can be little you again! 💗💗

[@wildhog2732]

forgive those people from a distance, they dont change and you dont need it in your life

[@k.7ahirah]

I already know this is going to be good😭

[@Ash-vv4kj]

Every episode I feel so seen omg. This girl did something really backstabbing to me in high school after we were such close friends in elementary school and she couldn’t understand why I was so upset with her because she had no obligation to me. Betraying someone you loved in childhood just feels so evil to me!!

[@louisethomson04]

the timing of this video is stunning

[@SofaWrld]

I'm just still impressed that one is able to talk about these things on such a platform knowing the people you talk about will probably see this.. that can't be easy to do

[@REVS06]

I've been going through something similar over the past few months, and I have felt lost within myself and honestly your advice was so helpful, thank you for sharing your life on such a deep level it defo can be daunting.

[@inlinisteanoptil]

I’m a 20 going on 21 year old man so I should probably be watching shit like JOE ROGAN or the Awakened Masculinity podcast but here I am watching Madeline Argy’s Pretty Lonesome and it’s genuinely the funniest and most interesting online series i’ve ever listened to. Never change Madeline

[@gladiusthedrifter5746]

I wouldnt want to be the child me. I was naive and blind to the realities of the world. Sure, I was more empathetic, but I also was more vulnerable.

[@mayalise3271]

i've always believed that if there is a rumour going round about you, and the people who you'd least expect to believe it, end up believing it, that is only because they want to believe it. It makes sense if you think about it, because if you picture someone you may not know very well (maybe a mutual on instagram- just as an example) and you always felt iffy about them or there was something about them you never liked, or maybe even someone you absolutely resent, if you woke up to a rumour about them, you'd immediately think to yourself "oh yea that checks out" . Because you never really liked them and you were never really rooting for them, you'd immediately want to believe the rumour is true, whether you admit it or not. So my conclusion is that your ex best mate had some sort of inferiority complex towards you and felt extremely shadowed by you and just overall jealous. I think she was always waiting for something to confirm her despise towards you so that she could justify the negative way she felt about you; in other words she was looking for something to villainize you. Her immediacy in jumping to conclusions only showed her true colours, never yours, and i'm sorry you felt the need to prove your worth to someone like that.

[@BiancaEliza-bonks]

Wake up everyone, it's Madeline Monday 🦋🦋🦋

[@Spicyfritatta788]

Thank you so much Madeline for sharing this!! I was in a similar situation about a year ago. I’m still struggling to make sense of it and to cope with the unfairness and betrayal of it all. I was also made to feel stupid for not being able to „just get over it“ so this is so validating and gives me hope. I really hope you’re doing well and could find peace in yourself again, loads of love

[@Ohaaybrianna]

I totally understand your emotions and thank you for being vulnerable 😢I went through similar situations and we always will grow from it

[@alphawaluigiepiccreepypast296]

everything your saying is so spot on for when i was in a similar situation with an ex close friend that i knew since childhood. it's really healing to hear people with similar experiences or have friends that can tell you that you're being treated wrong.

[@malik7818]

This near exact thing happened to me with this girl at college. Victimizing me in their head and everyon elses head cause they felt bad for what they done. Thank you for sharing. It's always a good time clicking on one of your videos. I was gaslit too.

[@gala232]

At least you still got your car and that's what matters.

[@PBandH]

You should always forgive, but you don't have to forget.

[@alexbryyan]

Don’t say you overreacted!!!! Prolonged trauma creates PTSD. This is coming from somebody whose best friend started dating her brother. Went down in flames and they took me with 😑 I experienced PTSD from this. BTW, the anger you feel is the inside of you that loves you and knows you deserved better. Don’t invalidate yourself!!! All this is coming from a psych major pursuing therapy

[@elinnnxx]

i can’t even explain how much i relate to you and your podcasts and the stories within it really feels like i’m listening to myself it’s crazy. especially the part about falling into the wrong universe.

[@sumbajumba3037]

stop commenting on your own video maddy

[@yinbambi]

ahhhhh😳

[@BiancaEliza-bonks]

Madeline: "let me take you on a journey..." Me yells at my ipad: TAKE ME BABYY AND DONT BRING ME BACKK 💞💞💞💞💞💞

[@selinablue7498]

Forgiveness for me only is granted with change of behaviour. I don't care about an "I'm sorry" if the same sht is pulled again shortly after.

[@antonyshadowbanned]

holy mackerel, you are entertaining to listen to, but to be friend with is probably tons of hard work, kudos to the people that manage to be your friends

[@kaleiya.]

your content is so comforting.

[@mattisglad]

you're actually the best person - your videos make me think maybe i should just try out therapy and i mean that in the most complimentary way ever

[@aematasia]

damn girl, why has everything happened to you....

[@giacintaah]

This is mt comfort vid

[@Frey_x2]

i saw this notification and immediately clicked the video

[@BradAaronTaylor]

On the brink of 400K subs.. Well-deserved, fr.

[@leoni2691]

i am actually genuinely baffled that you’re describing the situation i’m in atm WORD FOR WORD. same scenario, same thoughts

[@belleskelton6227]

i have NEVER heard someone tell such an insane story just like mine!

[@thomas33355]

Just saw you had new videos out. It's so good to have you back! Thank you for sharing and expressing yourself the way you do, it's so refreshing and has inspired me a lot in trusting and owning my own authenticity.

[@ZmajesticPandaz]

The worst and what still seems like the most confusing lesson ive ever learned is that sometimes people will leave just because. They will do what seems easiest to them and sometimes thats leaving you, even if you were the perfect friend God i hate that one because ive been in both ends. I guess its just life

[@Minatomsnc]

Driving home from work great this dropped really loved the last one

[@zainebism]

Just reached the end & omg yes yes yes!! About cutting the cords. I cut the cords & narcissists/energy vampires do feel it!!! 😂🔝

[@legolasokatti4281]

those „friends“ were defo jealous I mean look at yourself 😂

[@that_biker_boy5550]

@Madelinargy - The jokes on your Best friend and Ex... You're First Class Epicness at it's finest! Smart, good Looking, genuine, articulate and able to converse at a high standard. What is not to like!? Madeline you're killing it... Just stay being you! ✨

[@HaroldKeeYKim-uh2fw]

i have Never heard someone tell such an insane story just like mine!

[@charlesboone-e4f]

The key to understanding stupid people is that, in general, they are not stupid - they are evil/selfish. "Stupid" is a way to cover for evil/selfish behaviour. It is, more or less, a tactic that people employ.

[@jaidahope7514]

Girl lol ive been binging your videos like a crazy person, i relate to you so much and your vids feel like we just hanging and i love it! I have FOMO not being your friend 🤣😋

[@meghanfaith2185]

Girl this is so relatable to me as someome who has been in therapy for almost a year bc my sister had an affair with my first loves DAD while we were DATING and it absolutely caused so much destruction and broke apart not only my first ever serious relationship but also several of my family relationships and the entire thing 1) caused a months long mental break for me where I nearly lost my job and my LIFE tbh because the panic attacks that ensued were so grueling and 2) has resulted in me feeling waves of rage every day even a year and a half later Anyways I hear u and I believe one day both of us will look back on these events with so much wisdom

[@destinysun]

this was so relatable

[@iaustins_]

My first love, who I discovered late in life at age 17, well after 4-5 years left me for my best friend. I lost not only them in one day, but more than half my friend group cause everyone had to choose sides. I was blindsided. It’s almost 10 years since and I’m alone, all by myself and miserable. They got married a year or two ago and for all I know started a family. I lost everyone. What am I to do

[@80sbrunnette]

Wow I guess everyone is falling out with their best friend. The best thing to do is just move on

[@lookattherainbow2449]

i don't know how to explain it but her nails match her so much

[@filliiiii7]

Her personality better

[@KatieWood-qe6rx]

just woke up from some mad sleep paralysis, needed some healing, come to your podcast. thank u for bringing me back to reality madz, feel like i'm on facetime to u ahahaha bc why is this so relatable

[@famalamzz6106]

Is nobody else intrigued, who r these people she’s always referring to?!!

[@charlotteleenders519]

I talk to myself too, like i am on a podcast when i am by myself. Free therapy ✨

[@erdtree_larry]

I think I found my new ASMR.

[@rousy5856]

Girl i am at minute 12 and your repeating yourself all the time and you dont really tell the whole story to the point where i dont even know what's going on after 12 minutes?!

[@kiarabullard4043]

Lmao that’s all of her podcasts but I love it and it’s a vibe find another creator if it’s not your thing

[@One-du6cc]

a whole lot of nothing was said

[@ki2348]

the queen is back yaaaay, i haven't seen you in three months. your videos have given me a different and interesting perspective.

[@Kaito_qp]

I always go nowhere and start talking to myself about any problems I have But in the last few months I started talking with one of the best people I know now though he’s trying to avoid me because he’s bored of me and I’ve returned to my old routine. It’s really frustrating because I used to talk to someone😫

[@vhjvbhjb5280]

Well, best friend + boyfriend betraying you at the same time. For you that’s 2 birds one stone. 2 dogs out of your life.

[@amaliamarti7816]

i am loving this tea love you mads

[@nonameh4867]

I really feel you, see the blessing you removed snakes and stupid people from your life

[@allineferreira2647]

This is so my tears richochet coded

[@Cozart0]

I love you Madeline 😍😍

[@nxcf20]

the arguing with stupid people part is so accurate omgggg

[@ruthlessssraisins6666]

You're so pretty i could barely focus on what you were saying

[@christinasanchez2551]

i needed this, thank you ❤

[@ELeigh573]

Going to go on a mid girl walk now. I love your talk on energy & cutting that connection🫶🏼

[@v1xlilq]

I relate to this video a lot cause I used to have this friend group of 5 other people (they were your average mean/ popular girl) and it honestly always frustrated me how they always talked about the same ass shi. It’s just exhausting. And it was always stupid topics like gossip about other people or boys. And I just wanted an interesting conversation. After a while they left and made rumours about me (that weren’t true) and made everybody hate me cause I live in a small town.

[@HelloKittyUwW07]

She’s pretty

[@lenanas2160]

This is my first time listening to your podcast. Honestly, I don’t understand where you are going halfway of your podcast 😂 you are very good at telling a story which is not the title of your video hahaha

[@patrickrad1735]

Great job

[@okiiedokey]

I bit my best friend in the leg at the swimming pool when I first met her … don’t know what I’d do without her now

[@robertmueller2023]

Oh well. You still have all the high def footage to remember him with.

[@elisazouza]

400k omg and the title has me shocked

[@eustaquiozambrano2974]

I love! You too. Thank you so much for sharing your English videos. Have a good afternon ☺👍

[@pegdipoto8017]

This is just how life is. For everybody. It's fucking insane, isn't it.

[@Zefram0911]

this chick is mental and im here for it.

[@rottenlemons540]

Mad Madeline is the best thing ever

[@aaaaaaaa2117]

But what happened ? You talk about the problem with your friend without talking about it and it's a bit weird. It sounds terrible though, maybe you were harassed or something?

[@camillapiirainen251]

she said she cant talk about it in details because she doesn’t want to get sued

[@michellleana]

i hate/love that i can relate on this topic with u. sending u love.

[@quantumqueef]

i'm so sorry for what you went through, hearing you talk about it has really struck me. i feel so much less alone. i went through a very very similar situation with a good amount of my friends and best friends and an awful ex of mine over the course of years, it feels so nice to hear exactly how i feel so perfectly articulated. it drove me CRAZY, and i literally went into a total reclusive state for like 3 years and i'm just now coming out of it. thank you for being so vulnerable!!! i feel so deeply for what you went through, i hope that you have amazing people in your life now that clearly love and respect you.

[@HelloKittyUwW07]

Social media has destroyed men and women. It’s sad