My Best Friend MANIPULATED ME Into Divorcing My Wife r/Relationships

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 1: Does it sound to anyone else that he seems to view his wife more as a possession than a partner? And that he seems more angry to be tricked, than at actually losing his wife? Because he sounds more like a sore loser than longing spouse.

[@beebs4283]

mhm. never once, never *once* does this POS take her feelings into consideration. even when she was in agony begging him to come back after she had literal surgery. i hope he got laughed out of court

[@insideAdirtyMind]

He only described his wife as an inconvinience from start to ending, there is no little bit of love in his thinking of his wife. And she is not even doing something that is weird or not normal. The moment he had no problem to leave his wife behind when she was vulnerable, scared and helpless, I knew she deserves so much better. He is just selfish and he only loves himself.

[@lulul0l039]

It was like he was describing being annoyed by dog being lonely and bored, hires dog sitter and then sells the dog, suddenly dog is happy and active, he wants it back

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@insideAdirtyMind Yep. I don't like to use the term narcissist willy-nilly, but I can't help but feel like this guy's a narcissist or at least has narcissistic tendencies.

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

When your wife needs surgery and then can’t do anything for herself. For a month after said surgery …And you couldn’t fly in her mom a sister or one or more of her friend s. If that can’t be done and you love her you hire a nurse to help her. You do not call a male friend! Because she sobbing she can’t do anything for herself and is home alone . Work comes first ! He has what he asked for a divorce. And he is a victim only of his own stupidity.

[@inuyashaismydensity]

"i had to beat her to the punch" jfc what a freaking asshole. i literally cannot believe him???? i feel so disgusted that things like that guy exist

[@inuyashaismydensity]

also, the story with the dabi cosplay, that dude is a freaking doorknob, if i had a girlfriend who cosplayed as DABI i would feel blessed for her craftsmanship and also take her out to dinner after showering her in compliments myself. that op is a mad loser boooo

[@WyntheRogue]

@Kryptid of Khaos Not to mention assuming she isn't a big anime fan when she picks a specific design for Dabi? The stereotypical neckbeard oozes from that one. OP needs to realize he's being a nonce and shape up or she's not going to have anything to do with him anymore [and rightfully so as his attitude stinks, Id say on par with con funk but fortunately cons have been making mandatory hygiene policies]

[@grungekitty77]

Unfortunately it's not uncommon. My mom wanted a divorce for years, but Dad kept begging her to wait because it wasn't a good time to hire lawyers and made her promise she would talk to him before talking to a lawyer. He ghosts us last Christmas and the next day Mom gets the papers. She called him and he admitted that 1.) she was meant to get the papers on Christmas but the snow storm delayed them. and 2.) He bragged about how he had been planning this for years and already had his lawyer who had helped him get all the paperwork sorted in a way that would leave my mom with less than she entered the marriage with 34 years ago. And then two months later her sent her an expensive bottle of perfume for her birthday. He's a monster and my brother and I ceased to exist to him the moment he found out we supported our mom more than he supported us and that we could not be used as weapons to hurt Mom which I guess is all I ever was. So that's been fun to process.

[@cauzie8281]

I’m gut wrenched

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Bro is so crazy it's funny. He is so deluded. He should remain single forever.

[@Welank]

I literally did a spit take after Cyan hinted OP's marriage wasn't going well (and OP should pay more attention to his wife) and OP responded by divorcing his wife.

[@lcct635]

He play a dumb game and win a dumb prize.

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 1- OP is completely clueless. He caused all his own problems. All he had to do was communicate and be there for his wife.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

Do to that, he would have to actually to give a flying fudgesicle about his wife 😅

[@mindyschocolate]

Now he’s looking into suing his friend. He’s going to be completely friendless, and he deserves it.

[@MONEA2000]

That seems to be the problem and I think while Cyan took care of the wife he came out to her or the had an emotional conversation that they bonded over

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Forget Clueless. This guy seems like a narcissist. ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

[@CaulkMongler]

Truly, he keeps doubling down and refuses to take accountability for his idiocy and refusal to communicate literally anything. He was even giving his divorce lawyer flak for giving his genuine professional advice… what a piece of work.

[@ElleD308]

You shoved a man into your marriage, forced your wife to be with him, ignored her wishes, neglected her, divorced without a reason and now he's the victim of "alienation of affection"? 🤣 stupid people are hilarious

[@VNCstudios]

She was 100% having an emotional affair. He should have just said cyan is no longer to be in our lives instead of divorcing though.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

I KNOWWWW why does he even care? He clearly didn't really love his wife so why does he care if Cyan and her are partners or friends or living together? Also he could have clarified the divorce thing 😂 he could have asked later hey bro what did u mean by that has she told you she's going to divorce me? But he took that small comment and sprinted to a divorce lawyer! Also he doesn't have to go through with the divorce! If he honestly felt like he was tricked into filing why didn't he just ........ Stop?! He wants to sue for AOA but like bro you could probably just stop the divorce and apologize its extremely weird that never occurred to him. I don't want to be that person who yells narc at every story but I really feel like hes a narc. He hasn't cared about anyone except himself the whole time! He cared about what only he wanted and then his wife said she felt neglected he was like what about meeee I'm the real victim here I have no free time because I'm choosing to chase a promotion 😂

[@mrs.h2725]

It’s blatantly obvious that OP is just all around a selfish pos, and had been pitting his wife against his friend so he could always be the center of attention and create a false enemy for them so they didn’t connect the dots of how awful he is. Once they got close they realized he’s toxic af and started calling him out on it, which he and his giant ego couldn’t accept so he painted them as the bad guys. Where tf does he live? Cuz those laws around divorce are so bizarre. Seems like a place where the law is designed to force ppl to have to stay in a marriage against their will or face all sorts of lawsuits.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

@@VNCstudios if she was then he made it that much easier to drive her away lmao.

[@ElleD308]

​@@WhitneyDahlin exactly 😂 and he unconsciously forced into his marriage the man that would help his wife get away from an egotistical, neglectful, easily manipulated, weak, morronic husband. I see that as a win for her 🎉

[@xelectrix]

Wait, so OP hears that his wife may be leaving him and instead of trying to talk to his wife or try to fix the relationship he just runs to get the divorce first? I'm glad he divorced her. She deserves so much better.

[@tully6648]

OP's way more concerned with "winning" at divorce than actually losing his wife.

[@drako8343]

Well by then he was off his meds.

[@davak72]

Yeah, that was insane!! Cyan was telling him to wake up and be more caring of his wife, or else she won’t stay with him forever. Op took that to mean that she was about to hand him divorce papers, and decided to turn it into a race so that he could “win”!!!! Wtf…

[@untitled-gv3qp]

@@drako8343 Yeah, but nothings changed. As much as he blames his actions on cyan and the meds he isn't doing anything to fix the problem, he hasn't even spoken to his ex or confirmed whether or not she and cyan are romantically involved. He's just making things worse by trying to sue someone for a nonsense reason when he initiated a divorce without warning.

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

Yeah the fact that he heard "my wife may be divorcing me" and was thinking about how he could beat her to the punch kinda felt disgusting

[@diamcole]

OP is a piece of work. Just leave the woman alone, it became abundantly clear at a point that he doesn't even like her so what's the issue?

[@tamsel814]

Someone stole his toy from him. Not sure which one (ex wife or cyan) was the toy tho

[@Wtfamidoing2970]

@@tamsel814 cyan was the toy, ex wife was the property from the way I’m understanding it 🥴

[@kasugaifox8571]

@@Wtfamidoing2970 Yup. He mad that they grew a spine and left his stupid ass in the dust.

[@carrieowen5895]

Do you ever listen to someone who although technically are the wronged party...they exhaust you with their whinning. This is it.

[@Fingerscrossedout]

Op clearly has a personality disorder and is unable to see that he is in the wrong or why this relationship fell apart. Tbh cyan is shitty for seeing the abuse and then warning op about the divorce, like dude, what did you think was going to happen?!

[@madambutterfly1997]

For somebody with no free time to spend with his wife why the fuk you spending all this time with Cyan. And staying because you work together, that is an explanation it is not an excuse

[@satansecretary665]

hes gonna build cyan a art room

[@sonialinsey8083]

@satansecretary665 something tells me Cyan’s not as gay as OP thinks. He seems like the type of guy that thinks a man who cooks or owns a pink shirt is gay lol. Cyan’s main art is picking up someone else’s wife anyway 🤣.

[@pippo17173]

@satansecretary665 lol that story. However this is basically if the supposed affair partner is in the right.

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@sonialinsey8083 Cyan is clearly bi but leans more towards women

[@manumontes23]

Plus, when his wife needed someone take care of her after a surgery, on a couple of comments he said he wife even need helps to take a shower, His choice was left her alone in a city where she didn't know no one. City where they were living because of him.

[@Orinatl]

Story 1: Op made his bed and then hated the scratchy sheets lolll

[@Chatroom64]

Lmao I'm stealing this

[@idk-something-clever]

I don't like how in Story 1, OP gave his friend a name, but not his wife. It's always "my wife" or "my ex." He didn't even bother to give her an identity outside of himself. What an asshole.

[@dreadfuldee2432]

It sounds like she was never a person to him just an extension of him in his mind. He probably massively devalued her while she was sick on top of the devaluation post surgery. She's very lucky to find a good friend to help her get away from that asshole.

[@tully6648]

Right? And he's way more interested in trying to sue Cyan than he is about his ex-wife like... at all.

[@ladyjpolite]

Great literary analysis. I think that was very telling.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - YTA. Automatically expecting that a woman who is into cosplay wants to dress up sexy, especially for your pleasure, is stereotypical gross otaku behavior. He sounds like the guys my cosplay friends have warned me about, and he probably won’t be in a relationship for much longer.

[@DemonGodRizer]

Agreed, but as a guy myself the only argument that can possibly in any reality be made is the dislike of of her chest being exposed because what guy wouldn't be upset with their girlfriend exposing their chest to random people, similar to what woman wouldn't be upset with their boyfriend exposing a buldge or something. But that is not what happened. He was not upset about her being exposed, he was upset because the cosplay was dabi (which is a very hot cosplay) which was not a sexy anime girl for him and that it incorporated the scar. That really sounds like a very fun cosplay to me.

[@hello93617]

I mean, to be fair, if my girlfriend comes to me and says she's going to wear something for me that going to make me "excited", I'm also going to assume "excited" is a synonym for "aroused". But that's also because I we've been together for some 5+ years now, so I'd assume she'd assume that's the first place my head would go.

[@luke_at_my_art]

​@@hello93617 that's probably not the context in the story but good to know that you and your partner are more in linked 😂 (to be fair, you guys have been together for a couple of years so fair enough)

[@luke_at_my_art]

​@@DemonGodRizer honestly, op doesn't deserve someone like his gf, she seems very kind and wanting to make OP happy, but unfortunately OP is one of *those* anime fans/person, crjnge

[@DCD762]

​@@luke_at_my_art actually i think he was expecting her to dress up as a hentai doll and since she didn't,he got upset

[@robinronin]

You send over your male friend, who your wife (at that time) did not like and thus also probably also didn’t feel safe with, and he helped her shower after a week of being unable to, while she was literally naked and at her most vulnerable with NOBODY around to protect her. How can you write that out and think that you’re not straight up ab*sive?? She was so fucking lucky that things worked out for her. The surgery apparently left her in such a state that she couldn’t even physically cheat if she wanted to; what if there was an intruder? Anyone could’ve done anything to her and she would’ve been unable to protect herself. What the fuck. I don’t even know what else to say. OP is horrific.

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 1- did he even love his wife?! Someone gives him a hint that his wife isn't happy so may leave him, snd his reaction isn't to speak to his wife and see what's going on and if he can fix things, but to beat her to the punch and divorce her first?! This guy's attitude is infuriating.

[@jonathantyler3420]

What did he say/do to make you imply he didn’t love his wife? He told him his wife was going to divorce him, what else was the guy supposed to do!? There’s literally nothing else to do if she’s saying she’s going to try and divorce him.

[@Ospyro3em]

@jonathantyler3420 oh I dunno, maybe actually have a conversation with his wife???? Find out if it's actually true for a start. Are you implying that if someone approached you and just randomly said "your partner is going to leave you" you would just up and leave them without checking first to make sure it's not just a thing this person made up?

[@jonathantyler3420]

@@Ospyro3em depends on how well I know the person. I have a best friend now if he told me hey she’s thinking of leaving then yes I’ll beat her to the punch

[@Ospyro3em]

@jonathantyler3420 so you wouldn't even speak to her to ask why she wants to break up or if there's anything in the relationship you both can work on? Sorry, but in my opinion if you're not even willing to resolve it first then you're better off breaking up.

[@jonathantyler3420]

@@Ospyro3em if she has spoken to another man about our relationship without mentioning to me first about being unhappy or wanting a divorce then she has checked out of the relationship first. Why would you go to someone outside the relationship without talking to me first? Make it make sense.

[@invisigoth510]

Op: “Cyan helped her shower after she hadn’t had one in over a week. He was helping her because my work was more important than asking for time off to take care of my wife. Who needs that in sickness & health thing. I just sent someone who she didn’t like to take care of her in my place.” Also OP: “they did what?! I thought he was gay! How did that happen!?”

[@politereminder6284]

Story 1: that man needs medical help for his mood swings and impulsive behavior. He's clearly very unstable, and delusional and very selfish.

[@TziporaRaphaella]

And got himself into that mess by refusing to just communicate with her (or Cyan from the sound of it) on a basic level. I was a little shocked listening to that one because I was in a relationship with someone remarkably similar who blew up our relationship with their twisted sick selfish wonkiness. It was so similar in the end too. The making absurd assumptions and being so panicked over the idea of being abandoned that they rushed to do it first. I’m still reeling from it and trying to make sense of wtf happened. I’m honestly glad his ex had support and seems to be coping much better than me because being treated that way by someone you love is freaking awful. My ex was so selfish too and just utterly unable to fathom that other people think differently or could have similar experiences with different outcomes if that makes sense. I loved my ex but sometimes I’d be just taken aback by how their mind worked. I felt so similarly listening to this story. It’s the same like super stubborn selfish inability to grasp they might be wrong and how do you even know what your partner is actually thinking if you don’t even ask them. That said, I’m genuinely not sure people like that can be helped because they’re so selfish and so set in their way and always seeing themselves as the victim. My ex destroyed my life yet just like this OP, acts like I’m the one who committed some unspeakably awful crime against them. I’ve met some messed up people in my life (like literally I lost everything and similar to this story my ex isolated me as well. And I have medical issues) but this kind of behavior is above and beyond. It’s really chilling that people this sick are out there seemingly functioning, doing far too well for themselves, and utterly unaware of the lives they’re destroying in their wake. I really don’t know that there is help for folks like that. Can’t help someone who doesn’t want or think they need it, you know. And there’s such a profound lack of empathy and ability to ever admit they’re wrong.

[@FilthyCasualYT]

He was on them. He tells in one of his comments that the meds he was on were banned in other countries, and that Cyan suggested he stop taking them.

[@Gumbier_Than]

​@@FilthyCasualYThe also said that his ex-friend was possibly gay, then turns around and says they're together. 🙄

[@pippo17173]

I think he is just a terrible person. His friends support this and op's responses is just confirming how he is raised.

[@politereminder6284]

@@TziporaRaphaella I'm so sorry that you went through that. 😔 I pray for your healing 🙏💞. However much it is your ex who is sick, you are the one living with the consequences. Focus on yourself, and on your own healing and on getting back on your feet. (((HUGS))))

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

The second girlfriend used her scar for a dabi cosplay? That's legit so smart

[@madambutterfly1997]

Cyan didn't cause your marriage to fall apart you did it by refusing to be there for your wife. He offered to help on your behalf and you inadvertently cuckold yourself

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

That bit in the update when Cyan basically said “if you don’t start treating your wife better, she’ll divorce you”. And he immediately goes to the top divorce lawyer to beat her to the punch. 😂 And then think Cyan manipulated him? Honestly, the wife getting divorced is a good thing, because she’ll no longer be linked to OP. And then when he kicked her out of the house, Cyan was kind enough to her to let her stay with him. OP is literally mad that her friend supports her after he mistreated her.

[@JK-sh8rc]

Story 1: Sounds like OP doesn't even like his wife. And then has the nerve to blame ANYONE but himself for the divorce. What an ***hat!! He deserves to be alone.

[@sonialinsey8083]

I actually cheered for Cyan when she started living with him. She clearly was young when she chose to marry him and didn’t make a very good decision.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

​@@JK-sh8rc yeah. I immediately thought what a douche canoe.😂 This guy continuously causes his own problems then blames everyone else. Completely unaware of his own idiocy.

[@Russman67]

OP put Cyan and his ex-wife together. 🤦‍♂️ Walk away dude!

[@CatsOverBrats]

Guys wants divorce, guy regrets, guy wants to sue because... What exactly does he think he'll gain from it? She's not going to come back.

[@jennifersmith-clark6418]

I think that the affection he feels alienated from is Cyan, not his wife. He obviously didn't give a damn about her and still doesnt.

[@ellorasg4525]

Waiting for an update on the back lash lol

[@ineedhoez]

He doesn't love her. He wants to win.

[@eriibooo]

Can't wait for OP in story 1 to sue for "alienation" only for the wife to present evidence that he left her alone knowing full well she had a surgery planned, that she'd more than likely need a caregiver, and that he asked his friend to take care of her. There's probably other evidence that if I'm understanding the story right, he was the one bringing Cyan on their dates? I'm sure she also has an argument to make with not taking his medication, that stabilizes his mood?!? That along with the insomnia he says he has, what do want to bet there was some verbal/emotion abuse going on? I also wouldn't be surprised if Cyan decides to help Ex-wife. Another bet, what do think the chances are that he's been trash talking/complaining about his wife looong before this supposed "alienation?"

[@Forwantofaname]

It really comes off that, not only did Cyan not want to cause their divorce, but that he was trying to save the marriage by being like, dude, you gotta treat her better.

[@beingalittleextra]

Story 2: They probably weren't staring at her chest cause they were uncomfortable, they were probably staring at the BURN MAKEUP. If shes an SFX artist, the makeup was probably really good and they were impressed and wondering if she was actually shirtless or not. This dude is the type of person thats ditched at the con the moment we get there.

[@maggpiprime954]

This is what I was thinking! I for sure would be discreetly trying to figure out whether or was a prosthetic, & my brain too busy with that puzzle to figure out whether it was appropriate to straight-up ASK.

[@Gumbier_Than]

That sounds cool as hell. I've seen people with missing limbs and "disfigurements" get insanely creative with cosplay. 😊 I think he's wrong.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

Literally my thoughts as well. That's what I'd be thinking/ have thought in the past. I'm an amateur SFX artist and I'm always asking the pros how they did their work 😊

[@aleiah.]

i really like to see cosplayers i usually go to conventions just to buy stuff but dang!! some are quite cool i really want to cosplay someday but i'm shy lol once one was cosplaying like a militar? i have no idea but he stopped me and was wearing like a mask i was scared as heck! hahaah it was my friend that dude was like 2.20 cm also most of the people who goes to conventions are teens or adults...even if they see the scars and saw they were real the probably know that they mean, also not always it's possible to get a reconstruction even if gf wanted.

[@Spagettigeist]

@@aleiah. I am also very shy, but I find that wearing a cosplay makes me more outgoing. It's easier to communicate with others for me, when I can "hide" behind a mask, so to speak. The cosplay is fun and gives me strength. And while it might be different for you, I still think you should try it at least once. Who knows, maybe it's going to be a good experience for you ^.^

[@michamocha]

Story 1: Every step of the way, it truly did sound like Op looked down on his wife. Even when addressing their closeness, it's really just "I just know she's annoying with her overbearing behavior" and his take away of Cyan's reaction is a "oh, he just doesn't know how to stand up for himself" rather than Cyan possibly being offended on his wife's behalf.

[@chinaking918]

Yes. I thought the same. He didn’t see her as someone important and didn’t think anyone else would. That’s why the possibility of Cyan being offended never crossed his mind.

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 1; The only thing I know with unquestionable certainty is that the only aggrieved person is his ex-wife

[@DemonGodRizer]

Yeah like holy shit, i've never heard of someone being so pathetic.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

"My friend made a comment that vaguely leans towards my wife getting a divorce but more towards me being a crap husband and needing to change before it gets to that point, so I ran with it and divorced her without even trying to talk to her after ignoring her for months." "My friend obviously tried to break us up." The OP is so delusional. He left her to suffer through a surgery. He pointed out that she couldn't even shower by herself afterwards and he talked about her complaints like they were such a burden on him. And now he wants to sue because he thinks the dude who took care of her in her hour of need did something else to make her like him? She wasn't even the one who initiated the divorce and the OP doesn't even know if they're dating now. He used to think the guy was gay but now he thinks they have to be scr3wing because he doesn't understand that she has a friend in the guy who took care of her when she was at her lowest.

[@beebs4283]

*medically neglects his wife* "why is she suddenly so friendly to the person who took care of her when i didn't?"

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@untitled-gv3qp The OP is a crap spouse. This is for sure. He probably is also a crap friend to his friends as they often go hand in hand. Given that, OP totally GOT PLAYED by Cyan. Cyan won over OP's wife mentally and emotionally while the OP refused to be there for her. As to whether they were physical that is unknown but it probably did occur in one respect or another during those 3 months. Like it or not, people are judged by the friends they keep. OP's wife didn't like Cyan but yet, it appears OP blew that off and hung around with him quite a bit. If my wife and friends clash, I usually don't spend a lot of time with those friends. I prefer to spend it with my wife, the OP didn't, he spent his time with Cyan. Why would anyone send a "friend" over to help their spouse who that spouse despises??? The OP should have come home and been there for her, but when he didn't, Cyan stepped up and took his place. The OP has no one to blame but himself. Cyan just took advantage of a situation he was handed and then when the opportunity arose, he went in for the kill and pushed OP right out of the picture. History has shown us time and again both on Reddit and in real life, if you push people together, especially your wife and your best friend while you are not in the picture, they will eventually "come together" themselves. There are a million stories out there of this scenario occurring. If you don't put the effort into your spouse, there is always someone else out there that will.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

@@thomasjoseph5876 I mean, even romance stories recognizing that forcing people into deeply personal situations by providing caregiving is a recipe for emotional intimacy. It's pretty easy to see how someone who helps you BATHE is going to see you at your most intimate and start to feel like your rock.

[@oeurydice]

Story 1 Op: expects his wife to recover from surgery alone Also op: whines because nobody cares about his insomnia

[@jakeand9020]

Not alone, he had Cyan take care of her... Then got pissed when they became friends. Pretty sure he didn't think anyone could like his wife. Anyone else think he went on that trip during her surgery more so he wouldn't have to deal with her than for some promotion?

[@oeurydice]

@@jakeand9020 I get where you're coming from, but she was left alone for a week BEFORE Cyan was asked to help.

[@chinaking918]

@@jakeand9020 yeah he’s a major asshole for that. I knew he didn’t think anyone would like her by his comments of “she clingy” and saying he doesn’t have to be nice to here because of. It’s seem like he wanted her to be all alone and the moment someone actually liked her he gets pissy and try to down talk her. Such a shitty husband.

[@sandeesandwich2180]

S1: Time and again, he disparages his wife's feelings. She tells him she's uncomfortable with Cyan doing X,Y or Z, and he tells her "it was harmless". She doesn't like him coming over all the time and getting in the way of them having a date night, and OP invites him over anyway. OP runs ramshod over her feelings, and then Cyan comes in and helps her when she is most vulnerable. The writing was on the wall.

[@boogiebear3095]

I love how she dressed as Dabi, who is such a unique character. The fact that OP was embarrassed? What a smack in the face. She beat cancer, found something that worked with her scars and most likely killed it. What an ass!

[@ejtappan1802]

Cosplay... if people were staring it was most likely to marvel at how good her makeup was, which is backed up by how many people asked to take pictures of her. If you enjoy cosplay, a big part of an event is seeing other people's amazing craftsmanship.

[@sweetoleander9048]

Story 1 OP was ok with another man helping BATH HIS WIFE. It's soo messed up when you think how she didn't like him at first and was FORCED to rely on him in the most intimate of ways to just live. I hope Cyan is actually a good guy and didn't manipulate them both to get the woman he wanted. I don't care for Cyan or OP to be honest.

[@pau_5435]

Right?! I couldn't believe it when OP offhandedly commented that his wife couldn't take a shower for a WEEK post-op because HE LEFT HER ALONE

[@minun653]

I wouldn't be surprised if she more or less trauma bonded with cyan because of all the mistreatment and abandonment she suffered from her husband and being in a helpless state. I feel so bad for her

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 sounds like OP despises his wife. YTA it's very common for otherwise antagonistic people to become close when they spend time together.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. Clearly OP is jealous and selfish. Not once did he care about her.

[@MrJpaynebb]

OP did love his wife at least at some point. What he definitely loves is attention. He was the center of a triangle with his wife and Cyan. His wife loved him and Cyan at least was showing OP interests in a close friendship. He's the one who forced them together because he refused to return home to help her after surgery which was planned well in advance or hire a caregiver to help his wife. Then he became jealous because he was no longer the center of a triangle 😂. He initiates a divorce out of his jealousy and is now upset because neither the ex or Cyan is fighting to keep him but instead choose each other. Sometimes it's an interesting show to watch a person, OP dig their own grave😂. Really hope there's an update on this.

[@kitviola946]

I wouldn’t be surprised if OP was exacerbating the antagonistic behavior/feelings between his wife and Cyan - and once it was just the two of them, they realized they had more in common than they’d thought.

[@LadyShi06]

Story 2: Are you kidding me? As a cosplayer, Dabi is an awesome character to dress up as. She used her chest and scars to her advantage and dressed up as a male character with burn marks all over his exposed chest. I bet it looked amazing and she was incredible proud of it! OP is a major a-hole.

[@nahb4089]

It rubs me so wrong. He’s mad that she’s not coslaying as a sexy female character for… HIM….

[@Kalossupremacy3356]

I don’t really get this guy tbh, I mean granted I would get it if he felt weird about his girlfriend having her breasts exposed in public made him feel a bit uncomfortable, but like being upset she didn’t wear something sexy and LETTING HER KNOW. Confuses the ever living hell out of me, like honestly if he wanted her to wear something else he could ask her if she wanted to later, but he just is so rude and even seems to have some hostility towards her not getting surgery on her scars. How does bro rationalize this????

[@loveyourwaifu1035]

dude literally expected her to dress sexy for HIM. which would've guaranteed that she would also get stared at (also increases the likelihood of assault), but in that case it would be ok cause... hm, why would it be ok then? ahhhhhh because mister man gets to flaunt around his sexy woman. but when she did her own thing, made an awesome sounding cosplay, owned her history and showed off how she survived her scars, which honestly fits dabi, it's suddenly bad that she gets attention

[@BNezzy]

Prefacing this by saying men fantasize about their GF's dressing sexy. I am not a anime fan, I would assume thou that a male anime fan who has a GF would have a sexy cosplay thought run through their mind if their GF teasingly said they have a costume they'll love. I don't think OP said he excepted or asked her to dress up in a sexy costume but i could be wrong. Myself personally i wouldn't expect it but would be happy if it happened as i am sure you would be happy if your GF/BF did that for you. NGL thou, if my GF showed up shirtless dressed as a man for a cos play con, i'd be taken back and confused. Why would she want to dress as a man instead of a woman? Why does she want to walk around topless in public? Unless i am missing context this whole situation seems really weird.

[@bakedandbeaded]

⁠@@BNezzy You’re the odd one out here. Men cosplay as women and women cosplay as men. You obviously know nothing of the hobby and are choosing to overlook all the comments talking about how NORMAL it is for a women to cosplay a male character. 🤦🏾‍♀️ Like THINK for a second.

[@Mypalpayton]

Wow he won’t take responsibility for destroying his marriage no matter what! He’s doing some pretty impressive mental gymnastics

[@LilFeralGangrel]

Story 1: i don't understand how he managed to reach the age of 29 without having any emotional intelligence or communication skills but i guess we all have challenges in our lives. Story 2: i was so furious when that post was made on Reddit. People were tearing OP apart like that misogynistic jerk deserved. My mom had breast cancer and a double mastectomy by my late teens and that destroyed her. a huge part of her gender identity was wrapped up in her breasts and losing that was really hard for her, and she took my coming out as trans pretty harshly (we're good now) which i understand now. I hope his girlfriend leaves him and finds someone who treats her with dignity and respect, because that guy ain't it. Story 3: why do i have a suspicion that Michael is the golden child?

[@CariAndLenny]

Literally described my ex with your opinion for story 1 😂

[@LilFeralGangrel]

@@CariAndLenny ngl i used to be that person on some level but i stopped at 26 and i'm still growing. hope he tried to grow but he's almost thirty lol

[@madambutterfly1997]

He seriously was only okay with her doing cosplay just to satiate his sexual needs. GO FYS

[@mztweety1374]

OP sounds like a professional victim. He pushed these two together and then got mad when they liked each other? And now he calls it manipulation? He doesn't need a wife he needs therapy!

[@Germania72]

I'm against infidelity, but man, he made his own bed with this one. I'm not even sure if she's dating the guy now. Did he love his wife by the way he described her? Plus, I believe Op misunderstood his friend because he's blinded by jealousy. He said that his wife wouldn't be taken for so long meaning that this would eventually happen if he continued behaving like that, not that she was already seeing divorce lawyers. Smh This guy just wants to be right.

[@randomusername3873]

I mean, if she was cheating she would have cheated anyways so I don't see how that's relevant

[@pippo17173]

Cheating is still wrong but op open himself up for this to begin with.

[@DrownedInExile]

This OP is far from a reliable narrator. Add that to a long list of his shortcomings. Smart money says he was the one cheating.

[@kichikitsu]

​@@randomusername3873 ... No, not at all. OP was literally making her the third wheel in their own marriage all bc he liked Cyan more, alienated her from her friends and family and left her with no support system, and forced cyan (the dude who, at that point of time, OP knew his wife disliked) to take care of her in her most vulnerable state all bc his work trip was higher on his priorities than his wife who had just had major surgery. (No way it WASN'T major surgery if she couldn't even shower by herself.) Like, he was such a trash husband their marriage was non-existent. You can only handle so much isolation and emotional neglect from the only "support" person you have before you get extra attached to the first person that DOES actually support and care about you.

[@carolsimpson4422]

@@kichikitsu that shower thing took me aback. I'm not saying men should all be jealous neanderthals- but he has no jealousy or territorialism whatsoever? He's fine with another man seeing her undressed and touching her intimately? That's so bizarre.

[@MechanicalDragonfly]

Story 2: That sounds like an amazing cosplay, probably better than anything the OP could ever do - and instead of letting her embrace her body and love herself a little more THIS is his reaction??? Get in the bin 😡

[@tully6648]

Right? And, hey, I know quite a few people that would argue that she DID dress up sexy. Dabi definitely has pull in the fandom.

[@BruceWayne-ys4iq]

The character (Dabi) had a reveal that literally out-trended the 2020 elections.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 3 there's no uncontrollable reason why boys have to "play rough". If parents do nothing, sure it will happen. But this should be seen as a wakeup call not an attack. He will lose opportunities and friends over this. I would be PISSED if I hosted a child from mine's school and my fancy stuff got damaged. An accident would be different. Brother needs to nip this in the bud urgently and OP is NTA.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

I’ve heard a number of parents say stuff about how much “easier” it is to raise boys, and I have come to realize that it’s because they’re the parents who do not actually parent their sons and let them run wild. It’s “easier” because they’re choosing not to be as involved.

[@lynnw7155]

Agreed. That's not 'rough play'. That's willful bad behavior.

[@neilschroeder7854]

I don’t see how the dad can say flushing 2 phones down the toilet is “rough play”. It’s a deliberate pre-meditated act.

[@I8Spiderella]

This guy has done more to victimize himself then to communicate with his friend & his wife. 🤦‍♀️

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 3: He helped bring them into the world. He is responsible for what they do until they are adults.If he can't help but feel anger at that, he's not much of one himself.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. He's not doing his son any favors with the classic "boys will be boys" excuse.

[@sofie6524]

Literally. The audacity to incinuate that OP favours the girl for being a girl and then pulling the "boys will be boys" mentality 💀

[@MrJpaynebb]

Parents need to be as fair as possible to their kids. That "fairness" doctrine isn't as constraining when you're the grandparents or in this case an aunt or uncle. It's nice to treat the niece and nephew the same but when one regardless of gender has the tendency to damage and/or destroy your property time and time again then they can start experience some consequences for their actions. While OP may not be able to punish her nephew she certainly has the right to restrict her interactions with him including visits and trips.

[@JK-sh8rc]

At 10 years old the nephew absolutely needs to be better behaved. And has clearly never learned that actions have consequences, which I blame the parents for. They're not doing this kid any favors. Are they still going to be defending him in 5 or 6 years when the nephew is still destroying other peoples property?

[@ukchanak]

​@@JK-sh8rc they'll be visiting him in jail after he kills someone at 21

[@Charles-sd7xu]

I don’t think cyan and the ex have a relationship. I think they sound like rlly good friends and I think the ex had nowhere to direct affection in a way that she would get it back for a long time and that’s why they became so close so fast. OP being off mood stabilizers explains a LOT and the fact he didn’t immediately get back on them is completely on him. Cyan did give him rlly shitty advice about going off them tho because “not needing them anymore” just cus u stopped taking them isnt how medication works, but I don’t think it was some long con to make op run to divorce lawyers the second he hears about how he’s a shitty husband. God he’s completely isolated his ex in this new place, separated her from all her friends and family, and then abandoned her himself when she needed him most and now he’s mad that she finally has someone who cares about her? God, I don’t think they have a romantic relationship, but I hope they start one (after all divorce and lawsuit proceedings are over) just to rub it in his face

[@Love2Banime]

Does sound like the ex and cyan were really friends. What ticked me off is how OP claimed Cyan was gay because he is into cute things along with the ex. I don't think Cyan is just because he never dated anyone.

[@tallyp.7643]

They probably became friends over a couple glasses of wine, commiserating about what an insufferable tool the OP is. Boy I bet OP would keel over in shock if they told him that.

[@jakeand9020]

I'm not convinced Cyan had anything to do with him going off his meds. That sounded more like a knee jerk reaction to everyone calling out his BS than something that actually happened.

[@sfsin3380]

I suspect that Cyan just told OP that going cold turkey for the trip was a bad idea and OP feeling like he didn't need them anymore (a sadly common problem with people on mood stabilizers) twisted it to be the permission he wanted to stop taking them completely. Some-people only hear what they want to hear and biased on what OP wrote about his lawyers OP seems to be one of those people

[@MoonlightBelladonna]

Story 2 is heartbreaking, dude your gf survived breast cancer, that's a pretty scary thing to have to go through and to still be in high spirits despite what happened is inspiring to those who had to go through the same. Hopefully she breaks up with him cause dude clearly sees her as an object for only him, it's disgusting.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 3 - NTA. OP’s brother is raising a demon spawn that will someday be big enough to cause significantly more damage, and possibly harm if he hasn’t learned how to respect people since he already doesn’t respect people’s property. I get from the dad’s view it could look like favoring his daughter because she’s a girl, but if the girl was as bad as her brother or the roles were flipped I’m sure OP would do the exact same and take offer to take the less destructive child. This is what happens when you don’t actually raise your sons because “boys play rough” or “boys will be boys”, they end up extremely unlikeable kids and impossible-to-be-around teens and adults.

[@robertx8020]

It's a miracle that OP let the brat into his house for this long ..he has more patience then I would have

[@fytrndm]

Honestly...sounds like Cyan was just enjoying having an older sister who he can be himself with and OP's wife is treating him as such as well.

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

The mental gymnastics on the first story must be exhausting.

[@molovesrings]

S1 In my opinion, He’s wanted a divorce for a long time. He just didn’t expect her to become friends with his friend and his friend take her side. The way he did it though was just awful. I hope his wife lives a happier life now that she’s gotten away from OP’s toxicity.

[@rachelguyer8447]

Holy shit op needs to get back on his meds. He thinks cyan is gay but now is super jealous 😂🤣 his lawyer isn't reluctant because he isnt confident. The lawyer knows he's only getting one side of the story and this whole thing could blow back on his client when the other party brings evidence that he pushed the two together and pushed his wife away. 😂😂😂 This story feels fake or op is straight stupid. 😅

[@pixiegirl131415]

Doctors and lawyers tend to speak in very protective language. “Unlikely to win” basically means you have no shot at winning. If they thought your case had a chance, they would take it and make bank billing you for those hours.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Story 1: OP doesn't care about his wife. He's just upset that someone is taking what's "his". I'm rooting for Cyan and OP's ex and hope they countersue him into oblivion.

[@ndawn90]

I love how OP #1 literally goes from one sentence to the next, "I was just like, way, way too busy to spend any extra time with my wife, but while I was hanging out talking with my boys..." Has plenty of time to hang with the boys but none to devote to his wife, but he's the aggrieved party here 🙄🙄🙄

[@oribrown4377]

That cosplay literally sounds ***amazing!!!!!*** I would be so excited to see that person at a con and especially to know them. That OP really needs to recognize the effort involved in that sort of thing and that his girlfriend is really cool

[@moonyollie6977]

6:28 "Do you when you just sort of like, push down on your sinuses-" How the hell did you guess I was currently doing so Mark 13:52 Oh the cosplay story, that one still enrages me days later after reading it. I hope she dumps his ass, how dare he

[@bamboozled1449]

“ she’s living with the person who caused my divorce” no bro you literally did all of this. im actually speechless that op thinks anything he’s saying is actually logical

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

Story 1: Check into a mental hospital for your delusions! All of this is caused by your own actions!

[@deijix]

OP is mad that he single-handedly isolated, neglected, and dismissed his wife and crushed his marriage to pieces and is now complaining that Cyan swooped in and started picking up the pieces? How pathetic.

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

Oof, the first OP is a hot mess. Glad his wife is out of that. WTH was he thinking?! Second Op, I'm with Mark. Holy shit, how much can you F up in one post?!

[@m.o.4240]

Cyan just hinted she might be unhappy op just jumped to conclusions

[@abigailpulliam6996]

I've been a cosplayer for yeaaars, and I can guaren-flipping-tee that they were staring at her chest wondering how the heck she did those effects. Probably wondering if she was binding, or had a fake chest (those exist, they're very interesting). Unless someone has also had a mastectomy or has seen the scars on someone they know, I doubt they realized what it was.

[@fytrndm]

Seriously though, some cosplyers are just amazing at what they do and you kinda just stare because they've graced you with their presence. And yes, I'm the idiot that always stare at cosplayers in awe 😅

[@tully6648]

I've been into anime and manga for 20+ years, and the fact that cosplayers can sport whole fake chests now is AMAZING to me. We did not even have anything CLOSE to that back in the day! I'm continually impressed with how far cosplay has come.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

Ooh, I saw some of this unfold but by the time I saw there was more info OP had deleted his posts. Glad I finally get to see the whole fall out

[@jusminejustice2794]

He probably got laughed out of court and deleted them out of embarrassment 😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 she wants to do a cosplay and he assumes she's going to do something sexy for him 🤮🤮🤮 Why would you assume that she was going to dress sexy to a public event? OP shouldn't be with this woman, he's too bothered about her not getting new boobs 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@mrs.h2725]

Also, breast implant illness is a very real thing and can lead to a miserable life of autoimmune type illness and even a secondary cancer specific to implants. But sadly most women who have to have a mastectomy are told by everyone around them, including their doctors, that for their mental health they need implants cuz they won’t be happy not looking like a ‘real’ woman.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Him living up to the stereotype of otaku guys who think that they’ll get to live out their anime fantasy of a hot woman obsessing over him and going out of their way to sexualize themselves for his enjoyment.

[@tully6648]

Jokingly, but she actually DID dress sexy at a public event. 👀 Or at least I know a few Dabi fans that would argue as much. LOL

[@drako8343]

She was topless though, so by definition that is sexy.

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@fallingawayfromthenorm there is nothing wrong with sexualizing your GIRLFRIEND

[@magnarcreed3801]

Sounds like friend was a good dude. Tried being a good friend and realized when OP was a shit spouse shifted to being a good friend to the ex.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 1. You can tell by OP's words that he lacks respect for his wife. His wife needed surgery, and instead of explaining things to his boss (Most companies nowadays have adopted the attitude of "family is the norm")¹ he goes off on his months-long business trip, knowing his wife didn't have friends where they lived, and didn't have family near her. So, he gets his best bud, Cyan, to help his wife out. Cyan goes on to care for OP's wife with things like cooking, cleaning, wound dressing, follow-up doc appointments, and (as OP stated) helping her with hygiene and showering. So, Cyan did everything a loving and caring spouse would do. The (nonsexual) intimacy of those acts brought Cyan and his wife close, and they became friends. With how much OP bitched about his wife not liking Cyan, one would think he'd be happy now that his best girl and best friend are now close friends. No, instead he suddenly feels jealous because he now has to share his best friend with his wife, and his wife with his best friend. Then he hears one comment by said friend, and instead of doing the mature adult thing by sitting down to talk with his wife and figure out what might be troubling her, and what they can do to make things better and improve their marriage, he goes balls to the wall and seeks out a lawyer and serves his wife with divorce papers Then the AH talks about suing for "Alienation of Affection!" If anyone is guilty of Alienation or Affection, it is OP! He is the one that up and deserted his wife during one of her greatest times of need. He alienated her and abandoned her leaving his best friend to take on the task of being the caring, and loving person that OP should have been. I can go on and on about this. But, the last thing I will say is that I don't believe Cyan and his wife were having an affair (even OP said he was 95% sure Cyan is gay). But, if they weren't at the time, and if Cyan is not gay, then I hope OPs STBX and Cyan do develop feelings for each other. Evidence has shown that they are both caring people that wouldn't abandon a person they care about. If this does happen, OP has no one to blame but himself, and if he wants to sue for Alienation of Affection, he needs to sue himself!

[@JMac7395]

Story 1: the selfishness.The inconsideration.The entitlement. The ego smh. OP didn't love his wife & he didn't care about his marriage.Which is why he jumped at the opportunity to get a divorce. Note how OP didn't bother to stop the divorce proceedings but instead added another case. The only reason OP wants to sue his ex friend is because of his ego & jealousy. Bruised ego because another man stepped up to do what he wouldn't. Jealous that his soon-to-be ex wife found comfort in someone else that cares for her.

[@notovny]

8:10 "I saw this as my wife had confided in Cyan that she was going to divorce me, and he was giving me a heads up. I had to beat her to the punch." This was your marriage, not Mario Kart.

[@Maya-iz9fx]

Op was actually in love with cyan He is now angry cyan chose the wife

[@TailsFan]

Story 3: The way the brother was acting, I'm starting to wonder if he ENCOURAGED that destruction of the "rich girl's" property out of SPITE. Most of the stuff destroyed seems to be hers.

[@robertx8020]

You might have a point but I guess we will never know for sure

[@sakurased101]

Story 1 I can not stop laughing at OP stupidity.

[@rai1578]

OP really found out his wife was probably planning to leave him and instead of realizing how badly he messed up and trying to fix things, his reaction was to "beat her to the punch". The audacity of this man. And he STILL wont take responsibility!

[@tully6648]

Story 1: Honestly, it sounds to me that the "heads up" Cyan was giving to OP was that he should take better care of his marriage. But instead of following up on that, talking to his wife, looking into counseling, etc., OP flew straight to the divorce lawyer so he could "win." All he cares about is what he can get out of the divorce/Cyan/his ex-wife... Which, BTW, is exactly the reason why judges look poorly on people who shop around for divorce lawyers. He's not trying to do what's right; he's just trying to squeeze whatever he can out of the awful situation HE created. I hope everything goes as badly as possible for him. Story 2: It sounds like OP's (hopefully ex-)GF really killed that Dabi cosplay. I wish I could see it, because that is a look that takes a LOT of time and dedication to pull off well. If people were staring, it was probably because it looked like the man himself had walked out of the manga and might start s-t at any moment. Shame on that whole "flaunting her scar" remark. Fie and shame.

[@castironpan7967]

Part 3, so we've got rough playing kids and then we've got felony/misdemeanor level destruction of property

[@83gemm]

“She’s five years older, so he can’t be having an affair with her.” Me, 40/f: 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Oh… honey….

[@katrinasamuels-garrison825]

First story: What the hell is wrong with OP? Un-freaking-believable!

[@AshersAesera]

That was a wild ride for a first story. Initially I was iffy, but when he started jumping to conclusions and went straight for divorce he was absolutely in the wrong. However, looking back at everything under the context of him going off medication that helped stabilized him at Cyan's recommendation? That could definitely explain the poor judgements. Especially if you compound insomnia, which seemed to be getting worse. This just sounds like a mess. OP was initially confident his wife wouldn't cheat. He let Cyan take care of her because he trusted Cyan, vs a stay at home nanny on the spot. He went on the trip because the promotion was important to him. Possibly for their future plans together, but that's speculation. Why'd he suddenly jump on the divorcing bandwagon instead of talking to Cyan? Why does he think he's damaged more when he's the more financially stable one? He's even distrusting his lawyer ... Is he still off his meds?

[@kyuubinine]

Im surprised u dont see anything wrong with husband until he want divorce wife.

[@AshersAesera]

@@kyuubinine Is there something in particular you'd like to point out as a red flag?

[@barbarareichart267]

You mean like leaving for work when your wife is begging you to stay because she has a huge operation planned? In a city where she knows no one, because she moved there for your job? So first he isolated her from her friends and family and then he ignores her. Totally no red flags here /s

[@akiadima3814]

I think they might be thinking of 1. Inviting his new friend on dates with his wife when she didn't like him 2. Spending more time with that same friend 3. Ignoring her complaints about annoying things the friend was doing and calling it harmless (which later on didn't annoy her but him instead) 4. Leaving her to fend for herself during a planned surgery without a caretaker 5. Sending the friend over who she didn't like to take care of her 6. Implying that she's an unlikable person and telling his old friend/her new friend that she is clingy and he didn't need to hang out with her 7. Bringing in other friends to talk about the above-mentioned comment for them to be on his side, and conclude that this other person did not in fact want to spend time with her, but was spinless Off the top of my head. There are probably other things I didn't pick up on but those might be it. Oh and prioritizing work over his wife (first with hanging out with work friends more ,and later with his work trip)

[@AshersAesera]

@@akiadima3814 1. Fair enough, I found that weird too. 2. I don't think there's not enough info to make a decisive call here. If #1 wasn't an issue, I'd completely dismiss it. There might be a detail I'm missing, but just hanging out with your friends isn't an issue. 3. He should've addressed that earlier, but her then flipping her opinion of his tendencies makes it a moot point in my opinion. Suddenly it's not an issue anymore? Suddenly she finds it endearing? Does this not show that she was just overblowing her initial criticisms of him? This probably fed into the idea that something was amiss because he should've been off his meds at this point. 4. This also applies to her as much as it does on him. She's an adult, and she knew the details of her operation much better than he would. If he only knew after the fact then there's not much he could've done. 5. Who else could he have sent on such short notice? Someone she at least knew, or a random nursery service (if that's even available) that he has no time to look into properly. Man is also off his meds at this point which supposedly sets him straight. 6. I think you're reading too much into the clingy. That could be a good or a bad thing depending on whether the person their clinging to enjoys it. How he worded it though ... I don't think he realized they were actually close and his friend wasn't acting friendly to help him out. That's definitely on him. 7. Do you not ever get a second opinion on something you're uncertain of or don't want to believe? They're being pretty friendly in public, enough so that other friends are willing to comment on it being potentially too much when asked. Does that not raise any alarm bells in your own head? 8. Here's one, jumping straight to divorce without proof of more. I get the feeling he doesn't think things through enough, but he's experiencing insomnia at this point so that's just speculation.

[@bellagaur6594]

I really saw this post before, don't know if you posted it but man it still makes me angry, what a piece of shit!!! I'm glad they both are free from him.

[@notaseal7864]

She couldnt shower for a week? She was that debilitated and he still didnt come home to care for her

[@MGOsketches]

Story 1: - Wife: "I don't like how your friend treats me" - OP: "Whatever I don't care" - Wife: "Now I like how your friend treats me" - OP: >:(

[@jerriewyatt905]

Story 1… OP’s friend and wife have formed an attachment to each other..OP’s got only himself to blame ..he pushed them together and said unflattering things about his wife , referring to her being clingy …. He didn’t give her alone time together, inviting his friend along.. he was neglecting her and taking her for granted..Because of his ignorance, he is divorcing because he wanted to file first without even talking to her.. huge , huge AHole OP! Story 2… OP has to ask if he’s an AHole? Really? Story 3…OP’s not the AHole in my opinion.. the child sounds like a terroir and I wouldn’t want him anywhere near things could be destroyed or damaged.. if the brother doesn’t or can’t control this child, he can’t expect others to put up with his behavior..

[@Zaddy-Lu]

Also, dude (in story one) kicked his wife out of THEIR home with NO warning, that would alienate the affection of most people towards their spouse.

[@raleighransom4561]

the comments and additional post by the first op make everything so much worse and more uncomfortable like. I'm not here to demonize Cyan at all bc it's very clear that at every point op's main objective is to paint himself as the most sympathetic character in the saga but so your wife has no one but you and has had a surgery that's made it impossible to have sex (if he specified what the surgery was I didn't hear it so apologies) which bare minimum makes it difficult to do normal day-to-day tasks alone and at worst impossible or even dangerous to do alone. and while she's begging for the help of her spouse, the only person she has, you leave her with someone who you later reveal she doesn't like because he's too rough with her (there's no "she feels that" qualifier needed--he's too rough with her if she says that) so you put your wife, vulnerable and in pain, who is unable to bathe herself, in a position where the only person she can rely on is someone who makes her uncomfortable because he's too rough with her. like op is absolutely a terrible husband even in the story he has control of, and ultimately at the end of the day we don't really know what happened at any point in the story, and I'm choosing to hope that the absolute best case scenario happened and op's ex and Cyan talked things out while he was helping her, but like this sounds like a goddamn horror story, you know? I hope op stubs his toe twice a day for the rest of his life

[@EleanoraDzen]

SILK CARPET? NAIL POLISH?? NOOOOOOOOO, good lord I would never allow that child into my house again.

[@purpleluva77]

The truth is that this man ruined his own marriage from his lack of love and empathy for his wife. His wife and friend deserves better than him. He has no grounds for alienation of affection because he was the one who alienated her from him. I truly love how he benign neglects his wife and then when his friend warns him about it. He runs and gets a divorce and turns himself into a contortionist to avoid accountability.

[@coreymartin6486]

....man, the lack of accountability from Op. He so desperately wants to be the victim.

[@actuallynotsteve]

Been a long time since we've seen an OP that's as deluded and self-unaware as Story 1, holy moly

[@LakeGael]

"Alienation of affection", god that's rich coming from OP 😂 "parents paid the down payment on our house", skip off to hell, bro.

[@kratkartan1486]

Story 1: OP is just an abuser throughing a temper tantrum since the abused party got away from him, and he can't accept that. I wouldn't be surprised if this phyco ends up in prison.

[@BevCurrie]

Is the wife’s name Magenta?

[@rachelguyer8447]

😂😂😂

[@DgShadowChocolate]

On today’s episode of “What the Fuck Is Wrong With Men?”…what the fuck?! What really gets me is his blatant lack of self-awareness, the constant blame-shifting to Cyan, and his downright cruel treatment of his ex-wife. 😶

[@linkinlady06]

LOL the freakin audacity from OP in story 1 he caused everything that caused his divorce and now trying to sue for alienation of affection? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@browniewin4121]

1) If the wife did not like being teased by this friend, the husband should have told him to knock it off. Husband left his wife when she needed him but instead the friend was there for her and now she likes him. That OP is discussing his relationship with others outside the marriage rather than with his wife is bad. YTA in so many ways. After update: "Imply"... good grief, it was very clearly stated. OP is such a total idiot, he really fucked himself because he was so disconnected from his wife and ready to believe she wanted a divorce that he jumped to divorce. What a jerk ... the friend did not cause this, he did it to himself. It was not a happy marriage, not for the neglected and ignored wife. Now he wants to blame the man he brought into the relationship ... what an AH. 2) I think it is great she has accepted her body and what had been done to it. Shame on OP, he was being insensitive and also selfish to expect her to do this to be sexy for him and not appreciate her body positivity, creativity, talent, and effort. YTA. 3) I can understand the father wanting to not have one of his children favoured, but considering how he has refused to parent his son and curb his destructive behaviour it is understandable OP will not welcome him to their place. OP NTA but this father is.

[@hausofphid3966]

Story 1: Alienation of affection?? I laughed out loud. And a once happy marriage?! OP has lost the plot. He caused his own divorce in every sense. Delusional!

[@leahgrimwell1137]

For story 1, I could not be more thrilled that the guy's wife is out of that relationship. I'm high-fiving her in my imagination right now. Story 2, as someone who's heavily scarred thanks to multiple major surgeries, anyone who tries to put someone down for what some might call disfigurements they've had to suffer through and accept because of something they had no control over, a person who would put someone down for that should not be in a relationship of any kind.

[@jmarie9997]

OP1 basically played matchmaker.

[@HM-rw7ly]

Story 2: I am a hugeeee fan of mha and would like kill to be able to cosplay like that Dabi is one of my favourite characters and I know exactly the outfit that was talked about and to be able to do that she is very skilled. Honestly my guess is along with having wanted her to cosplay something sexual he doesn’t like how good she was at it and he’s behaving like a child.

[@BomDaisy]

I dont have free time to do anything anymore... but i have freetime to hangout with some buddies from work and talk about life things... logic

[@colleens1107]

Story one: I have never heard a tale where the person did precisely the wrong thing at every step of the journey. OP sucks, I’m glad he lost his wife…which wouldn’t have happened IF HE JUST TALKED TO HER AND TREATED HER DECENTLY

[@streamerssaymyname]

OP: "my wife is the type to divorce instead of cheat." OP: "I heard my wife is unhappy so I must divorce first to WIN." OP: "Now that we are separated she is living with the only friend she has made, I think I can sue him for what is legal terms for cheating!" (Alienation of affection is used to sue the partners of cheaters, because apparently people not in your marriage contract also are responsible??)

[@janejones7638]

1. It sounds as if the wife had a female surgery. I had one where they had to cut from one side to the other. After my surgery I was in so much pain for weeks. I couldn't sleep because I was in so much pain. I would eventually pass out from exhaustion, but I'd wake up crying from the pain. My mother stayed with me to "take" care of me. I could do most things on my own except bathe. It was her emotional support that was vital to me, I honestly couldn't have survived without her. His wife begged him to come home but he sent a friend she didn't like. She was forced to find comfort with Cyan and this continued after the events. An acquaintance once helped me in a situation (I ended up having a panic attack), after his help it knocked down all my barriers and we became extremely close friends (he is gay). That makes me think he was okay with Cyan and his wife because he thought Cyan was gay. OP is such an A$$.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

He abandons her asks Cysn to come and physically care for her. He asks for a divorce because he wanted to get it first. Jesus H he left her alone 3 months.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Also he has read all her messages and emails. He was always controlling

[@Lillireify]

Honestly OP in story 1 treats his wife like an object, or a puppy. He's disregarding her thoughts and feelings in both posts. He's horroble :/

[@paulclay4229]

Story 1. Why is everyone ignoring that OP was advised to stop taking medication for emotional regulation, by the person she left OP for. Then started acting, well, emotionally disregulated. It doesn't excuse what happened but explains a LOT.

[@JennRighter]

Most of the comments to OP in the 1st post addressed all of the obvious, but there were two things that I didn’t we addressed. One, assuming Cyan was gay. Not dating does not mean someone is gay. As someone who has had few dates or relationships, this has happened to me. People assuming I was gay. But gay people date so it’s a confusing assumption. The other thing OP said was his wife is five years older than Cyan and that would be unusual so Cyan probably sees her as a mother figure-what?! Five years older and she’s matronly? I wonder if OP would think the same if it was a man five years older than a woman. I’m 43 and I’m 11 years older than my boyfriend. Believe me, I am NOT motherly to him lol. OP is so clueless I’m every way.