My Boyfriend Said He Won't Propose To Me UNLESS I Leave My Job r/Relationships

[@crem-crem4070]

Me 5 seconds into starting the first story: “ok then, guess we’re breaking up”

[@jakemarie828]

My first thought at the title

[@sarasmr4278]

Run.

[@ellorasg4525]

same

[@LunaP1]

He was setting her up to lose everything so he can put her under his thumb. Classic thief/abuser tactics.

[@kagekun1198]

At first, I thought it was a matter of incompatibility. After all, the BF is in his 30s and it's certainly his right to not be able to wait until OP gets the traveling out of her system. But how he responded when he didn't get his way was indicative that he, may in fact, be a douche in general. If BF really loved OP and it was just incompatibility, he would not have silent treatmented her. He would not abandon her and threw out her stuff while she was agonizing over the decision he forced on her. This was manipulation and punishment (and btw, no spouse or partner in a relationship where you're supposed to be equals ever gets to "punish" anyone. As if you're their parent, the audacity). He showed his true colors, which is good before she sabotaged herself. Now my advice is to work your career with no regrets, and cherish the opportunity given to her.

[@SorenPenrose]

“He won’t propose unless I quit my job and select one he approves…guys, stop calling him controlling!”

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

😂

[@jamestomlin5525]

No kidding what a joke of a woman

[@Germania72]

When she wrote about her boyfriend talking the "women in their 30s" narrative, I immediately thought that he's one of these red-pilled guys.

[@jottenmiller]

“He’s not manipulative he just told me he would’ve dumped me for my job even though he found out after a single date and continued to date me!”

[@analyticmoviereviews101]

I literally just said 'darlin' you just said the definition of manipulative by describing your ex.' those are red flags. You cannot get anymore redder than those flags.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

That’s not manipulative. It’s an asshole thing to say but it’s not manipulative. He just doesn’t want to date a woman that flies around the world. That’s understandable but he liked her so he stayed with her. She could’ve broke up with him if y’all don’t have the same goals then just leave each other it’s really is simple he’s not being manipulative. He just doesn’t want to marry somebody that has a job where they go around the world.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@MONKEYDZETSIt's totally manipulative. He knew what her job was and instead of breaking it off or being okay with the job (like a sane and mature human being), he decided to demand that she quit her job. That's textbook manipulation.

[@JBTFan124]

​@paulastiles5507 They just started dating and were casual. She's asking him to propose after they have been dating LESS THAN A YEAR. He was probably fine having a casual relationship with a stewardess, but wasn't fine marrying one. He was completely honest with her. Edit to add: There's also NO clarification in her post that the engagement was the first time he brought up these concerns. She just said he put his foot down about proposing to her. For all we know, this was talked about prior to the ultimatum.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@JBTFan124She's not the one making forever demands in this relationship. He was the one who had a problem with her job and he had it from Day 1. Therefore, he should have *said* something then. If he didn't, that's on him.

[@olgaovierrales]

S1: OP doesn't need a relationship, she needs Therapy.

[@philwill0123]

She sounds like someone who jumps in with both feet into situations. She sounds annoying and exhausting.

[@narliehs1648]

@@philwill0123 Tbf, she already had this whole thing planned out before she even met this dude. He was the one trying to change the deal 10 months in, emotionally manipulating her with scare tactics and all the rest. This is the career she wants, the one she's worked hard to get, and he knew that from the beginning. Two days after the first date is plenty of time for him to decide that he wasn't up for a partner with that kind of lifestyle, but he waited until she started thinking long-term to drop this bomb on her. Not cool.

[@Flakey101]

@@narliehs1648 It not going to be the carrer for her though. If she gets triggered by 2 fellow workers on a plane, wait till she gets to a difficult plane rider.

[@narliehs1648]

@@Flakey101 Which is why she's currently taking a break until she and her employer are certain that she's ready. She's not starting immediately.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Plenty of people in their 20s and 30s live with their parents these days. No shame in it. The housing market is insane, rent is insane, food is wildly expensive, and we spent years in a panini. She had mental illness on top of it. 25 is still very young

[@megnotmegan1966]

My thirty year old son moved back home to open arms, and we’re here for him in all ways….the world is a tough place these days!

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@ChaiTea1 That part!

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@megnotmegan1966 You're a great mom

[@ginathecookie]

Yeah but gotta remember some parents are abusive or toxic or even just sometimes there's plan personality and values clashing

[@Kris-wo4pj]

Issue is her being homeless would actjally be better for her considering her mom gave her her mental illness.

[@kathyniebylski6735]

For #1: My mom gave birth to me in her early 20s and I still came out autistic. That isn't always accurate. OP doesn't need to stay with her boyfriend.

[@dopaminedrought395]

not only is it "not always accurate", it's actually not accurate at all according to more recent research

[@squidward6187]

Wow, I wonder how that happened, given the statistics you idiots ignore.

[@samvoss6697]

Last Story: I’m in the autism spectrum. Because of that, I also don’t like large social events. But if the occasion is about celebrating someone I love, I suck it up and stick around to support them. If I get overwhelmed, I simply go into a room where there’s less people for a few minutes before joining the party. OP really should’ve stayed. It’s his son’s wedding!

[@hiro4344]

Agreed. I'm an introvert and get overstimulated as well so I duck in and out of a quiet spot and stick around at least an hour if it's too much. On a day celebrating a wedding it's even more important to be there than say an adult b-day party.

[@bridgetbenson6291]

Exactly. I dispise big social gatherings too, but I will white knuckle my way through for the ones I love. Heck, I have to do a big family gathering this weekend. Wish me luck

[@rf159a]

I wish you luck and hope all goes well@@bridgetbenson6291

[@bessieburnet9816]

I am autistic, though I'm kinda fine at large gatherings, I just chill on my phone with a family member. But no matter how overwhelmed I get, I stay for family.

[@rebeccalynn7795]

@@bridgetbenson6291 good luck!!! hope it goes well for you.

[@Bijecarli]

"Guys, guys, you don't understand. He's not controlling or manipulative. He just keeps giving me ultimatums, telling me that 30 year old women aren't as desirable, and is making me physically ill with stress!"

[@MarcE-n9b]

An ultimatum is only wrong if a man does it. If a woman does it Its "boundaries" and "knowing your worth"

[@Kris-wo4pj]

​@@MarcE-n9bno an ultimatium is always bad. Ya tell someone this is my preference or boundary. Ya dont tell them we need to break up if ya want to keep your job. The right way to say that is i would feel more comfortable if ya had a job that was more stable and had ya come home every night. The only time its not a bad thing is if its about destructive behavior like addictions.

[@MrJpaynebb]

​@@MarcE-n9bit all depends on the circumstances. To me a person saying they don't want to date someone who is a cop or in the military is a boundary. An ultimatum is dating someone already a cop, in the military or actively pursuing that goal and then after they are in you saying quit or we're breaking up.

[@AllenB-ji9rm]

​@@MarcE-n9byou are conflating boundaries with ultimatums for a strawman, an ultimatum is basically a threat and a boundary is a pre-established request to not do something, with warranted consequences if you ignore it

[@edwardmorris8465]

​@@MrJpaynebbhe tried it and it's not working for him

[@masterofpuppets5568]

Final story reminds me of my brother's wedding. My stepdad has a heart condition that causes a variety of issues, my brother gave him an out for the reception knowing about the problems. You know what my dad did? he sucked it up for two hours, made an amazing heartfelt speech and danced with my sister-in-law. Eventually i had to take him home and my bro was so happy he had been there.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Exactly, he had a legitimate reason and he still stayed. Op just doesn't like crowds, It's his son's wedding.

[@ZombieSazza]

I’ve autism and I have permanent nerve damage so I’m in constant pain 24/7, it’s very exhausting physically and mentally. I’ve had friends offer me an “out” and I just request that I can have a comfy seat throughout the day so my body isn’t as strained, because I wanna see their important moments and celebrate those with them. I won’t be on the dance floor (might jokingly dance with my walking cane) but I will be there throughout the day and into the evening, because I genuinely wanna see my friends happiness and celebrate those really important moments with them. I just couldn’t imagine being as selfish as OP, who got more and more unlikeable as this went on

[@TsukiKageTora]

If someone told me “women in their 30s have children with special needs” or that “men don’t want women in their 30s and want younger women”… it tells me they aren’t ready for a committed relationship. OP fits the “in 20s ideal age” for his type of woman… meaning that once OP is 30, he’s more likely dump her for someone younger. He doesn’t want a life partner, he wants a woman who looks good by his side

[@sheilaclemett4353]

You beat me to that one. He was almost telling her to prepare to be dumped ay 30after two or three kids, stretch marks, and sagging boobs.

[@WyntheRogue]

Dude sounds like your textbook Tater tot. There are actually some people who enjoy the company of women 30+,the ones that don't are looking for bang maids who are less likely to call them out on their bullshit. Here's hoping OP gets back up on her feet and rises from the ashes like a Phoenix kicking,keeps up therapy and realizes she's better off without such a toxic toolbag in her life. Hell in this crappy economy and even before that in some cultures,living with family isn't really all that uncommon or frowned upon. uncommon. Disclaimer; I ascertain there are preferences, my comment is aimed more towards the douche canoe who spews such vitriol to beat down their partner's self esteem to mush.

[@BaeBunni]

I mean technically he isn't wrong about the special needs part though "high risk" isn't super unhelpful, it would be like being afraid to have kids because they could be born without an anus, but yea it definitely sounds like he wants a younger woman always around and 100% he doesn't think she will be faithful if she can get away from his behavior.

[@Enriquez2222]

@@BaeBunnimen also contribute to children being born with disabilities. However no one ever talks about these old men messing up the gene pool with their messed up semen.

[@streamerssaymyname]

​@@BaeBunnihe is wrong because children can be born special needs or with congenital problems at any maternal age, the risk slowly increases by single digit percentages at 30s and then more at 40s. Single digit percentage increase is nothing given the sample pool, and depending on when the samples were taken - most older than 40 babies are "oops" babies where the likelihood of mom caring about things like prenatal care and not drinking is reduced. Now that more women are purposefully delaying their first kid, statistics is likely to change as well, because the type of women choosing those timelines are different.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2! Heck no!! If you don't pay your rent and threaten my home you need to GTFO. Hope OP gets his money in court.

[@Cheri8795]

What OP in the first story didn't realize is that if the relationship was good and she was truly happy and in love she wouldn't have been in that situation. Wait until she finds true love with somebody that loves her for who she is. She's going to look back and laugh at what she thought was love. I wish her lots of happy travels.✈️ Have a great day/night everybody!🌸💜

[@kathydurow6814]

Agree. My personal take, although the OP never says it, is that the BF contributed significantly to her anxiety etc. And maybe she's never seen or been in a healthy romantic relationship.....see comments about prior ex & her mom. Definitely needs therapeutic help & learning what a good partnership really is. Ways to set boundaries. Healthy arguing. Mutual lifting up each other, instead of ultimatums to change. Hope she makes it through alive.

[@squirrel670]

​@@kathydurow6814that's a sign of an abusive relationship, your body and mind get sick

[@lovelywolv]

Story 1: OP dodged a bullet holy. Believe who they are the first time. He just showed that he would abandon her the second she had a breakdown. You don't want to be with someone like that.

[@edwardmorris8465]

He doesn't want a long distance relationship what's wrong with that?

[@lovelywolv]

@@edwardmorris8465 The problem wasn't a long distance relationship. The problem is he knew she was a flight attendant. He knows they're away for a long period of time. He told her to quit her job if she wanted to be with him. That is an ultimatum. No he didn't say she couldn't have a job but he told her to quit if she wanted to get married. Their values aren't aligned but he packed up as soon as she had a breakdown mostly caused by him.

[@draconisdragonheart4248]

He was honest which is not toxic. Toxic is he marries her and cheats on her then blames her for being a working woman. The bottom line in this story is BOTH didn't belong together.@@lovelywolv

[@lovelywolv]

@@draconisdragonheart4248 ?? Where did I say toxic? Do you have the wrong comment?

[@draconisdragonheart4248]

You stated: OP dodged a bullet. Actually per the story he told her early in the relationship that if he knew she was a FA he would have not dated her. She got the job after their first date. He broke up with her. She was warned early that this relationship was a NO GO. Listen to the story. This is covered in the beginning of the story. This is a classic example of someone telling OP the truth and OP not listening because she wanted a different outcome. There are plenty of young men that would love a working woman.@@lovelywolv

[@immapotato1]

OP 1 is the type of person I fear myself to become. completely reliant on others opinions to the point the thought of dissapointing them feels worse than potentially destroying your life.

[@ukchanak]

I hope you can learn to stop worrying about what other people think. It's so freeing and makes you feel strong ❤

[@kagekun1198]

I read Story 3 at the source. The OP is a real piece of work. The utter selfishness is apparent when you read his comments. (OP's words paraphrased: The mother/son dance isn't important. What is this, Footloose?) Naturally, Reddit tore him a new one. Any comments he made was only in defense of his decision. He had no intention of learning from his mistake and his post was a feeble attempt to justify his selfishness. Out of hundreds of posts condemning OP, only one supported him. He replied to that, saying "at last someone speaking sense." What a callous AH.

[@thefallennero5265]

Yeah the more comments he made, the worse he sounded

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

How sad

[@aleiah.]

Well now he must be happy, he is finally alone! I wouldn't call him ever again, neither mommy who also leaved.

[@serpentmaster1323]

⁠@@aleiah.she didn’t want to go. Op called it hoing and humming, but it was probably a more passionate defiance than we know seeing how unreliable he is. She needs to get out of there. Someone else could have driven her home-definitely one of the friends invited as a favor so the groom’s mother wouldn’t have to miss the rest of it. The groom definitely should have been told that his mom was leaving early too before hand. That’s awful.

[@serpentmaster1323]

Clearly an awful father. I hope op’s son’s in-laws show him how a real dad cares from the end of the 10 foot pole they push him away with.

[@pattyslater514]

The last story just broke my heart for OP's son. I canNOT get my mind around the fact that they thought it was completely fine to pack up and go immediately following "You may kiss the bride!" Like, seriously.... did OP and his wife literally fall off of yesterday's turnip truck? No, really! They have atleast one child old enough for marriage - was this OP and wife's very first time to a wedding!? This might explain how they were so obvious, but if that WERE the case, what about their own wedding???? Let me guess.... they dipped out early the day of their nuptials!?! One more thing, OP made a comment about how disappointed he was about how many guests were there. *Dude*! The amount of people that the newlyweds wanted to share in their special day has nothing to do with you. Get over yourself! Just wait until the grandkids start popping out. Be prepared to have little to no contact with them because of the stupid, self-serving stunt you pulled at their wedding. I know this because if I were OP's new DIL, this *EXACTLY* what I would do for the pure disrespect thrown her and their son's way on their wedding day. Deplorable....

[@LilFeralGangrel]

Story 1: OP really needs therapy, she never seemed to realize that her relationship was one sided and toxic. so many red flags and yet she couldn't seem them for what they are.

[@lynnw7155]

He's really pressuring her. I married at 35 and had my children (both perfectly healthy) at age 37 and 40, She's got plenty of time to live the life she wants. In the update: ummm...she sounds SO young and unprepared for the real world. I hope she can get herself together.

[@Silent_Ghoul]

I'm wondering why no one picked up on the fact her mother has narcasstic tendancies. Now that she is back under her mothers control this is going to get so much worse. It makes sense why she chose a man so much older, she was looking for safety and someone who would stand up for her. Instead she found the usual manipulator who wanted everything his way. I feel for this girl and sad that no one on reddit addressed that issue.

[@edwardmorris8465]

​@@lynnw7155exceptions don't make the rules

[@A2theJ9]

How is it toxic not wanting your future wife to be flying around the world away from the family for who knows how long and how often? What guy would want that? He told her what he wanted. He left it up to her. It's pretty simple. They wanted different things. Sounds like he waited as long as he could for her to make up her mind and it became clear she didn't want to give up the job so he broke it off. He is not wrong for that. That's not what he wanted. This was just a case of some bad luck and timing. If they had met a few months later they may have never even gotten serious.

[@bessieburnet9816]

​@@A2theJ9He is toxic for his comments about women in their 30s. That was horrid.

[@starbird3939]

Story 3 - YTA The father left because… he didn’t like parties and did not like the food. He basically missed out on the cake cutting and canceled the mother/son dance (because he took the wife). And he claimed the new wife had a “temper” that needs to be “controlled” by his son for calling them out as selfish assholes. What terrible terrible parent-and his wife is spineless.

[@nataliereeves3594]

The wife has probably been brow beaten and controlled by this man their entire marriage. The fact that she initially didn't want to leave and tried to get him to stay shows she is trying, but he prayed on her insecurities about driving alone to get her to go with him.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@nataliereeves3594 If this is in the US she has options.

[@cyndib511]

The son really should have dealt with this before the wedding. He knew his dad always did this, his dad told him he wouldn't be staying ahead of time. The son should have made it clear BEFORE the wedding what was expected. Why wait until what is predicted to happen actually happens to go nuclear? Grow a spine and tell people what you expect of them, then deal with it before the event, like uninvite dad and make arrangements for someone to take mom home. Don't be a big baby and let someone "ruin" your wedding when you knew that's exactly how your father would behave.

[@starbird3939]

@@cyndib511 i dunno. Maybe he was hoping once, just once, his dad would stay because this was his kid’s wedding. Maybe he was hoping he would stay for the mother/son dance. Maybe he thought “there is no fucking way he would be this trashy”. Some of us hope too much and I don’t blame the son one bit for the actions of his ADULT manbaby father and his spineless mother.

[@adrianmcbride1666]

@@starbird3939 the father set expectations ahead of time. He stated exactly what he would be doing, sticking ones own head in the sand and not dealing with the situation you know will be coming is on the one who made the decision to avoid the problem they were forewarned about.

[@comedynerd6669]

Story 3: My Mam hates getting her nails done. My hen party was at a nail salon. Know what she did? Got her damn nails done and smiled through it all. My Mam also hates crowds and noisy environments. My sister in law's hen party was in a noisy club. Know what my Mam did? Showed up and stayed through the whole thing with a smile. Because she loves her kids. That guy is the worst. Imagine making your child's wedding about you!

[@nitemaredarkness]

The same thing happened to my uncle. Family guilt trip him to stay. It was ruined because we have to call an ambulance for his mental breakdown.

[@narliehs1648]

@@nitemaredarkness Your uncle sounds like he has a severe case of social anxiety or something of that nature. Which is fine, I have that myself though not as bad. The difference is that OP doesn't sound like he was on the edge of any kind of breakdown. He just didn't feel like being there, and even took the time to sneer at the food on offer before taking his wife, the groom's mother, home with him. I feel bad for both her and the son. What a miserable AH OP is. I'm largely a hermit by choice (natural introversion and trauma will do that), but even I can suck it up and spend time with the people I care about. I did it yesterday and will again tonight, in fact.

[@Wander85942]

So I give up my career, traveling, and my independence to marry him? What’s he offering? A mini van and full dependence on someone who gives ultimatums. No thanks

[@MarcE-n9b]

She would be a terrible wife and mother.

[@juliearmfield2634]

She left out what she had to admit to her partner about the Terrible Things She had done to him

[@Kris-wo4pj]

​@@MarcE-n9band hed probably kill her and his kids if anyone slighted him in any way. Hes extremely unstable.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

A frakn mennnnnnnn!

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Also WTF has she done ? I hope the heck this is sarcasm cause 🤢

[@Shenn3165]

I like how she said it wasn’t an ultimatum, when that’s exactly what it is. Quit your job or I’ll never marry you.

[@dannyholland7209]

It's really not an ultimatum tbh, I mean their is little point in being married to someone that will rarely be at home. it's simply not conducive to family life. Everyone has boundaries.

[@JEPiper]

@@dannyholland7209it is an ultimatum-the smart alternative would have been to say “no thanks” when he found out she applied to be an FA two days after the first date. Why waste his or her time if that’s not what he wanted??

[@joaolima7131]

I've seen so many people defending that guy, it's unsettling

[@dannyholland7209]

@@joaolima7131 Nah, he's a Dbag. just saying that it isn't really an ultimatum. That's actually reasonable if you're family minded to want to be together.. Its the rest of him thats Fed up.

[@joaolima7131]

@@dannyholland7209 disagree, with a boundary you express your concerns and feelings to your partner and tells them how it makes you feel, and patiently waits their response, and if it's not what you want, then move on, a ultimatum you say to your partner, you do/don't do X or I will not/do X, it is a ultimatum, the point you start to demand something from them and put them on the spot forcing them to choose, it's not a boundary anymore.

[@mavisvioleta]

"he's not manipulative and controlling" 3 doritos later...

[@rylashadow18]

S1) It's good that OP's out of this relationship. This threat wasn't going to be the last one he'd issue her. S2) This guy wanted a free ride and found out the hard way there is no such thing. S3) Congrats. Your son will never contact you again and you'll never know your grandchildren. I have horrid social anxiety but I stayed at important events to show support. For me when I started feeling overwhelmed I'd step out to get fresh air and collect myself cause my overall desire was to be supportive of those I care for.

[@LovesGaming37]

We need to teach our young women to never give up their financial stability and freedom for a man. Marriages and relationships aren't guaranteed. He might die. He might cheat and leave you. Don't ever have a long gap on your resume. Get a good education outside of high school diploma. Doesn't have to be a 4 year degree but something

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Then maybe she shouldn't have tried to push up the agreed-upon timeline for marriage. He didn't tell her she couldn't have a job, he just said if she wants to get married sooner than they agreed on then he wants her to end that job of her being gone literally 21+ days a month from home earlier than agreed upon. If she can't or won't, then he doesn't want to get married earlier.

[@jordanwardle11]

Aside from a relationship failing, partners need to also be strong independently. That's the only way to have good children. Good children do not get raised from having a single sided relationship

[@eleethtahgra7182]

@@jordanwardle11 Umm...stewardess travel a lot....so....whos gonna take care of the kid? Baby sitter? Can husband hire an attractive baby sitter? Also....would the stewardess flirt with some rich casanova on first class flight? Why bother?

[@eleethtahgra7182]

True. I mean...theres job as vetenarian Some office job. Working in library. Or be paralegal. Stewardess is...glamorous job. Shes gonna get wooed by some rich casanova from first class flight. Hes gonna get wooed by some younger chick who knows hes depressed cos wife is away. Theres being smart.... And theres being egoistic.

[@InvasionAnimation]

@@thomasjoseph5876 facts!

[@diamcole]

S1: Never chuck your hard work and dreams in the bin for a relationship. I mean, you can, I've just seen way too many women shoot themselves in the foot doing this. Seems like a breeding ground for resentment. He got the opportunity to explore, he's 33 - take that time for yourself. It's necessary.

[@charclay]

And these are the words said by every woman whose now over 40, childless, alone or dating, and full of regrets. Don’t fall for the trap.

[@masshysteria3549]

​@@charclayShe was going to pick her job over him. Then when she wasn't stable enough to hold onto that job she tried to go back to him crying.

[@diamcole]

@@masshysteria3549 You've got it all figured out. It feels like I'm tapping into one of those late-night psychic hotlines that are $1.99 for 10 minutes. Amazinggg!

[@diamcole]

@@charclay Sure, sure, sure. Don't fall for the trap, got it!

[@charclay]

@@diamcole Yep! Don’t become a statistic sweetie.

[@tent163phantoka]

The comment Mark read after the update to Story 1 hit me hard. I hope OP gets back on her feet and thrives. For her sake, to show her parents how they helped, and to stick it to her asshole ex.

[@Mewse1203]

"He's not an expert about your body, your mind, or your life, just because he's in his 30s." Nor is he an expert on relationships or birth defects. That "women can't find men in their 30s" thing is a religious/misogynistic talking point to manipulate women into marrying early, being mothers before they're ready, and settling for shitty men its especially common amongst certain fundamentalist Christians who want to convince women their only only place is in the home as a wife and mother which is the vibe I'm getting Edit after update: he called ghosting him "sinful". Pegged that religious thing... The fact he made her so sick from stress is ridiculous

[@shellchenonceau6987]

POOR flight attendant OP. She was gaslighted from Day 1. 😢

[@Loverboy0694]

Not at all. Sounds like this guy is just honest with his feelings and not misleading her

[@narliehs1648]

@@Loverboy0694 Except for the part where he pretended he was okay with it until she started talking long-term, used scare tactics and ultimatums in an attempt to manipulate her, tried to make her quit her dream job that she worked hard for so she'd be financially dependent on him, called her "sinful" for not texting him, etc...

[@Loverboy0694]

@@narliehs1648 We are gonna have to agree to disagree. I don’t see setting boundaries and being honest about your long term needs as manipulation.

[@narliehs1648]

@@Loverboy0694 Which would've been fine if he'd been up-front about it from the jump. He knew that she'd gotten the job only two days after their first date, long before either of them would've been invested. He waited until OP was committed and tried to make her choose between him and her dream. This is the career she's worked hard for, well before she even met him, and he wanted her to just give it up. And do what, I ask you? We have no idea what else she was qualified to do, if he even would've been okay with her working at all given his attitude. Honestly, calling her "sinful" and all that? Really? Tbh, it sounds like he wanted to control OP and threw a tantrum when it didn't go according to plan.

[@Loverboy0694]

@@narliehs1648 Actually listen to what she said in part one. She admits that early into the relationship he told her that he wasn’t interested in starting a family until she could be close. She knew this and continued to date him while she waited the 10 months to be able to work. She started the job and he realized that the distance was too much. He didn’t tell her he was leaving if she kept the job. He told her it was harder than he thought and he couldn’t do this longer than 18 months. This is good communication. Later she admits because she didn’t believe he would support her she chose to ignore him. Had the roles been reversed Reddit would crucify him for ignoring her and call that extremely manipulative

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 3: YTA. When my children get married I will be there with them for as long as they want me to. You may not like big events but you know what, when you’re a parent you put what you like aside and do it for your children. I don’t necessarily want to sit through hours of a cheer competition and watching other teams, but I do it because my daughter loves to cheer.

[@LadyWolvie82]

So you're okay with forcing people to be in situations they're uncomfortable with, especially if you have advanced knowledge of the issues they have within?

[@raventolliver4316]

@@LadyWolvie82 when a person signs up to be a parent and raise children, they’re signing up to be present for numerous situations they’d rather not be in, at least if they want to show they’re a caring parent.

[@LovestarVGC]

@@LadyWolvie82please don’t have children if you won’t make sacrifices for them

[@kateemma22]

'Look at all those chickens' voice: LOOK AT ALL THOSE RED FLAGS!

[@kentario1610]

Hold on, there's something I haven't seen anyone else address. Didnt OP 1 say that he lived with her where she paid rent? And then in the update he packed her bag and made her leave? ???

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 3 hard YTA he didn't even stay for cake and food 🤬🤬 I have huge social anxiety, but this is your child's wedding with YOUR family. He had plenty of people to talk to, so he wasn't just standing alone awkward. He doesn't know how old his DIL is?? He is so rude to DIL? And he made his wife leave.

[@adrianmcbride1666]

Have you considered that it is not the lack of people to talk to that is the issue, but the existence of the crowd? Why do you assume that it being people he knows makes a difference with the inability to handle crowds?

[@SueTainsh]

Cute, I love how you’re forcing people to stay in situations they’re uncomfortable in for a wedding. If he didn’t show up at all, fair enough but yo be like you will stay or else you’re an asshole. This is emotional prison

[@LadyWolvie82]

I disagree, OP. The son KNEW OP's issues ('you always do this') and chose to ignore it. Social anxiety is very real, and some situations worsen it. Also, OP did say that he wasn't going to stay in advance, which the son, once again, ignored it. What should have happened was the wedding & reception should have been smaller, plus the invites leaving things open (such as wedding only, reception only, or both) so that the social anxiety wouldn't have happened.

[@ashab6806]

Story 1: Interesting how men like him never bring up the fact that sperm get weaker as they age

[@charclay]

Guess somebody forgot to tell Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, and Mick Jagger about that myth 😂😂😂

[@lauraanderson8785]

​@@charclay Well it's not a myth, the chance of conceiving a child with disabilities increases with age for both men and women

[@CasualVFlowerEnjoyer]

It just makes sense. ALL of your various types of cells degenerate as you get older. That's why you get weaker bones, muscles, saggier and thinner skin, greying hair, ect ect. I don't see why the generation of sperm cells would remain unaffected. There must be a heightened chance of birth defects from an older male's sperm. It doesn't make sense that the body would continue making perfect sperm cells while everything else weakens and deteriorates.

[@ivorynk752]

@@lauraanderson8785 although it's more noticable in the 40's it's only a slight difference in the 30's.

[@RaspberryHugs]

​​@@charclay Men can't have kids in 30s and above =/= the chances of men fertilising a woman decreases with age and the chances of the child being disabled goes up. Notice how all those men you mentioned are incredibly rich? rich enough to afford fertility treatments and afford health care to not make disabilities a problem? unless you are making that kind of money then those examples aren't relevant to you

[@AndyyWithAY]

I went down a rabbit hole of watching Catfishing videos yesterday. This one lady thought a very very famous and very wealthy celebrity was in a relationship with her and asking her for money. Why would a gagillionaire need money from you? Make it make sense!! Catfishing can happen to the best of us, but with a celebrity? Stay safe out there guys

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Oof

[@davidransom4476]

I like catfishing videos, too. Blues and flatheads.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Oh I saw that news story too... so sad how gullible / vulnerable some people can be

[@ivorynk752]

Apparently it's a pretty common scam. "Hey, I am someone super rich but something is preventing me from accessing my money. Load me some cash and I'll pay you back x10 later."

[@PrincessAfrica3]

@@davidransom4476😂

[@Sensansenkai]

On story 3 ohhhhh my god. My sister got married recently and I don’t really like big parties but this is such an important event. I sucked it up and made the best of it and had a great time seeing how in love the new couple was. It’s not a coworkers niece’s 4th grade graduation or an acquaintance’s casual birthday party. It’s your SON’s WEDDING. I can’t believe the callousness to his feelings.

[@DakshaiRanger]

If a 30-something year old man (or anybody tbh) straight up tells you that he doesn't find people his own age appealing, it's usually because people his own age have the life experience to understand he's not dating material. Even if he has a good job, people his own age understand that personality matters a whole hell of a lot, and his makes him not worth the trouble.

[@Swnsasy]

This young lady has WAAAAY too many things to fix within herself before she gets into a relationship.. He's manipulative, controlling and yes, abusive with his manipulation.. She needs a psychiatrist or psychotherapist, not a psychologist with a Bachelor's Degree.. I'm on a field of psychology with a PHD so no, I'm not disrespecting those with a 4yr degree.. It just takes specific knowledge in things... I feel for her, I really do.. She seems that she's living FOR what she believes others are looking down on her for...

[@thatonecooktone]

She can't even hold onto her "dream job"... she's definitely not ready for a relationship when shes not ready for a job.

[@Swnsasy]

@@thatonecooktone Couldn't agree with you more.. She comes off as a sweet person but also that everyone ELSE is telling her how to live and she just goes to whomever does

[@AnnMegFair]

Story 1: She dodged a bullet honestly. 'Ghosting me for 24 hours is sinful' excuse me what?? And the whole 'pregnancy in your 30shas a higher chance of birth defects and women in their 30s are not as attarctive to men anymore'? He was incredibly manipulative (and frankly, disgusting) and she didn't even see it. Another case of the good old 'he's a good person really he's not manipulative or controlling at all!' and then proceeds to quote the most manipulative sh*t ever. Story 3: So you don't like social occasions, fair enough, anxiety is a thing. But this is YOUR SON! This is the WEDDING of your SON! For that, you get over yourself for a few hours and BE THERE for him. And if the son says 'you always do this' it sounds like this was not the first disappointment, but it might very well have been the final straw.

[@DezGrowSpot]

Story 1: he isn't wrong. The older a woman gets, the more her value goes down, and the less likely she is to get the man she wants.

[@howaboutno.01]

@@DezGrowSpot Ah, I see another person who probably shouldn't be in a relationship is here.

[@AnnMegFair]

@@howaboutno.01 Got there before I could :D

[@DezGrowSpot]

@@howaboutno.01 it goes both ways, like if a man doesn't add value to himself, he won't get the woman he wants. So miss me with that bullshit. Dork

[@DezGrowSpot]

@AnnMegFair and your comment is why 50% of women are going to stay single and ran thru

[@justinecorrington4106]

Story 1: he’s doesn’t give me ultimatums. He just won’t purpose unless I leave my job. Oh but he told her, she has to leave her job 3 years. No, now 1 1/2 years. Everyone in reddit. Quit. Op; wait let me tell you more about why he’s actually not a bad partner. Op needs to re-read her own story.

[@lillithherondale1972]

That father in the wedding story is disgusting. Not being a social person is no excuse to miss your child's wedding. I have severe social anxiety and am autistic, I was still at my moms wedding nearly the whole time. I left early to care for our dogs, that's it. Massive AH that father is

[@fgentry1148]

OP1 doesn't understand the definition of ultimatum if she thinks he didn't issue one.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 1: Ahhh, it's always the age gap ones! Women in their 30s are past their due, but at 33 he isn't? Lololol ffs OP, open your eyes

[@lilolmecj]

I have two friends who are flight attendants, they both have been for around thirty years. They also both have three children. It just requires working schedules out. Also, while statistics do lean toward more complications for later life pregnancies, it is not the only indicator. Another friend had a Down’s Syndrome daughter with her first pregnancy at around age 25. No family history. Their other two are “fine. Plus their oldest is really great, living her adult life with some support.

[@psychickumquat]

Holy crap, this dude is a major creep. He dates a younger woman who's just starting her career, and when she doesn't give up her job to be with him, be tries to manipulate her by basically telling her she'll be worthless in a few years and he's her only chance. Guarantee once they'd married, he'd have become a useless deadweight and started cheating on her with younger women. Because men only want women in their 20s, right?

[@jonathanreid2237]

Story 1. I looked through the comments, and I think I have a unique perspective to give. Throughout my life, outside of about 4 years in my mid teens, my parents were consistently having 1 gone with flying jobs, early it was my dad being an airline pilot gone half the month, and then later both of them being gone often with small plane business. If you want to be a parent and have a job that is gone a lot, please be aware the toll it takes on your potential kids. I know about 30 other kids that grew up with parents gone a lot with the airlines, and every single one of us prefers the parent that's around more, and about 90% of us have major mental health issues that couldve been majorly helped by more present parents. It doesn't matter how present you are in the time you are home, but if you are gone half plus of the time, it's not good for the kids. So if the op wants to have kids, they need to be aware of the potential harm on the kids. And this goes for any career where a parent is gone a lot. I know sometimes it works, but in the circles I am a part of, and with the people I know, it doesn't help the kids. With that being said, the boyfriend is awful, but I understand wanting to have a present partner and potential parent

[@eleethtahgra7182]

The BF is red pilled. He thought he could change her...alas, she wouldnt change for him. And even at the end where she drop the job, shes resenting him. Thus...their future relationship would be based on resentment. Thus, he left her.

[@jonathanreid2237]

@@eleethtahgra7182 I understand the situation. I just wanted to add a different perspective that doesn't seem to be in the conversation at all, and one that is informational in basis. I think putting these different opinions and not just repeating the same thing over and over is valuable so as a group of people we can in our own lives be as informed as possible to make the best decisions, in all the years I have been watching this channel a lot of the insights helped me, and I feel it not a harmful practice to add a different perspective once in a while

[@sadraccoonboy]

Ah see I thought it was honestly fair to say that raising a family with a job like flight attendant is tough with the long hours away from home. But then it got to him being a dick saying people in their 30’s give birth to more kids with defects and how no one will want her if they break up.

[@happystarhappystar1477]

he's right, check it out

[@ericaallisonc]

@@happystarhappystar1477nope, late 40’s yes but not in your 30’s. 😂

[@diamcole]

It's the fact that instead of finding someone on a similar wavelength, he got with someone eight years younger than him and got upset when she wouldn't let him shape her career path. So ridiculous it's almost laughable lol.

[@technomancermagus8357]

@@diamcole I mean considering how this story ended, it seems like the career path wasn't the right one for her.

[@ailinfergan]

​@@ericaallisoncit's okay to be wrong

[@ksbs2036]

Story #1 summary. Bullet Dodged! She's sad now but not nearly as sad as she would have been if she stayed with her AH boyfriend. What a piece of work he was

[@samoanjoseph1457]

So he's not controlling or manipulative, but stressing over choosing between marriage and her career gave OP a panic attack. I would say she should choose her career just for her health.

[@BruinPhD2009]

First Story: The scare tactics about children born to women in their 30s really pissed me off. Has he seen kids fathered by old man sperm? Some of them ain’t right, either. I’m worried about OP. Her update indicates that she has far more things to work out than just an ex-boyfriend who’s a jackass.

[@Princetonian4eva]

If these men want kids with 20 somethings so bad, they need to settle down and start having kids in THEIR 20s. These age gaps just scream red flag and a lot of them don’t actually value their partners as partners. Young ladies, please steer clear!

[@MizTameRumors]

First story - he isn’t manipulative and controlling? Him bringing up her fertility is manipulative. Him telling her to leave her job is controlling…..she says he still wants her to work, but if she drops this job to get married. He’ll tell her to quit completely to have children…

[@chaosshiva4165]

Why do some men gotta bring weird stuff with older women? Your allowed to have preferences but telling your prospective partner about it is very manipulative. Learn empathy guys. That can go for anyone. Empathy! Edit: Actually now that I think about it that preference can be pretty iffy. Like just appreciate that people age! No one stays young forever.

[@samr8499]

Guys hes not manipulative, goes on to descripe his manipulation 😂

[@Silent_Ghoul]

This is a comment I made to someone below: I'm wondering why no one picked up on the fact her mother has narcasstic tendancies. Now that she is back under her mothers control this is going to get so much worse. It makes sense why she chose a man so much older, she was looking for safety and someone who would stand up for her. Instead she found the usual manipulator who wanted everything his way. I feel for this girl and sad that no one on reddit addressed that issue. OK Had to edit, that father is an arsehole. I'm an introvert with anxiety and depression and PTSD. I would still stay for my children or grandchildren to an event that is so significant in their lives. What a horrible human being this man is. As for the mother leaving with her husband, it sounds like their has been many years of conditioning (abuse) but she is still not off the hook. This is her child, her son. She needs to figure out.....sorry I need to stp my tirade now but argh.

[@patty-pat-pat]

S1: Stop letting your lil boyfriends dictate how to live your life or else he 'wOnT pRoPoSe'.

[@kathydurow6814]

The trash took itself out.....hope she sees she had a lucky escape.

[@viktoriak4332]

If you think your girlfriends so loose, shes going to cheat at work then your clearly don't deserve what her works has to offer. I have multible family members who have greatly benefited from working for airlines. It even allowed my grandparents to visit us in the US bi-yearly on a nurses salary since my grandpa was already retired by then. My airhostes aunt with four kids could send my cousins pretty much anywhere for vacations.

[@JEPiper]

I know entire families working for the same airline-it’s not that scandalous, LOL 😂

[@tully6648]

Story 2: In answer to Mark's question about conducting an interview... Hoo, boy. If you ever take a whirl around r/badroommates, you'll find TONS of stories where people did that and found out that way too many people can pretend to be put together long enough to get in, then go completely off the rails once they're settled. Heck, sometimes they'll go off mid move! The sheer number of people who are fine with being jerks, slobs, leeches, or combinations of those, will make you lose so much faith in humanity. The worst of the worst I'd say, though, are the so-called friends/"best friends" who move in and do s-t like that. People who are completely willing to destroy years worth of friendship to leech off you and treat your and your place badly for a few months or years, or whenever your patience finally runs out. It happened to me, and let me tell you that scrubbing out a bombed out toilet while you're feeing heartbroken that your so-called BFF of over a decade could be such an -ss is a unique experience I don't wish on anyone.

[@faeb.9618]

i dont get how none of those people have any shame, i could never live with the guilt leeching off of someone i am supposed to care about and refusing to help in anything

[@jake8748]

As soon as the OP in S1 said the lines of ' he said women in their 30s have problems with pregnancies and aren't desired" I could definitely tell he was manipulating her. Im sure the rest is just going to reinforce that. But he just basically said OPs approaching the age where she can't have kids safely and won't be desirable anymore so you should just settle for him and his demands. With modern medicine many women are having babies even into their 40s with less issues than young women had 20 or 30 years ago. Yes complications rates do increase a little with age but it isn't all doom and gloom. And age isn't really a factor to many people. In fact most decent men in their 30s would want a partner in their 30s not chasing an immature 20 something like this guy.

[@slick8086]

Story1, RF#1 Age difference. RF#2 Knew she was a FA but continued the relationship knowing she was. RF#3 changing his mind on letting her remain FA. IMO 3 strikes and your out. She's young, wants to be FA and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

[@TheArnaa]

Me still in the intro: the only response to this is we are now broken up. There’s no guarantee he’ll propose once OP has given up her dream job. And once he sees he can control OP this way, it will only be the first in a very long list of using this method to get his way whenever his wants are different to OP’s. Edited to add: yep, OP dodged a bullet with that charmer. “Sinful” my bum.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 1 - 4:00 - Well now he's just trying to scare OP into playing things his way. I wouldn't stay with hm.

[@ondank]

At first I thought people were being harsh saying he was manipulative. Realistically its really difficult to maintain relationships with the level of travel/clock swapping ect that airline workers have to go through. Its difficult for most people to just maintain their own life like that. Its not exactly a green flag the way he went about it but people make mistakes. But OP denying he is being manipulative whilst acknowledging that he is claiming that waiting will result in her becoming an old maid with defective baby making capacity is just cartoonishly prickish. OP is naive. The guy is a jerk.

[@gcarr1089]

Last story - my heart goes out to the bride and groom, now everyone at the wedding thinks that OP and his wife don't support the marriage and that's why they left, nothing the bride and groom said at the wedding will make them think differently. Well done OP for shaming the bride and groom on what should have been their happy day. OP and wife are major ah's

[@rayneingdown]

Good morning, everyone! Who’s ready for their daily dose of Reddit stories while they get their chores done, cause I sure am!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Yeah I'm doing my hw while listening

[@kentario1610]

I'm cooking!

[@packnetadaija]

Me! I’m eating breakfast first though 😂😂

[@triciad4100]

OP's BF: Women in their 30s are too old to marry. Also OP's BF: *is 33* NOPE. Throw the whole man away.

[@YellaBellaReno]

Is being a flight attendant really that bad of a job for a mother to have? Like, sure, when you’re new at the job, you have to put in more hours and less flexibility. But in a few years? Flight attendants I know have very flexible schedules. And I know the world has changed since I was a kid, but I grew up with many friends whose parents were flight attendants, as I grew up in metro Atlanta.

[@JEPiper]

Finally someone in this comment section who’s asking the right questions 😂 👍🏽

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 1: "He talks a lot about women in their 30s statistically having a higher chance of giving birth to children with special needs, that women in their 30s have a harder time finding men..." HE says a lot of bullshit doesn't he? My mom had me at 31 & my brother at 34. We were born perfectly healthy. My best friend had her kid at 36. He was a premie, but again, perfectly healthy. Do the chances of getting pregnant drop in your 30s? Yes, because eggs we have drop by more then half & even more in our 40s. The fact that OP sees nothing wrong with what he says 😳 He IS controlling & manipulative. OP is 25! She essentially gave him a three year time-line. To which she'd be 28!! She really needs to wake up & she'll the bullshit he's spewing. Story 3: YTA. I too am not very social & tend to have bad anxiety especially around food in public places. BUT if I go to a wedding I'm there throughout because I want to be there for the person being married. I opt out of the after party 9 times out of 10. This was OPs son. He couldn't even stay for the reception for an hour? Let his wife have the mother/son dance?

[@LemongrasxX]

First story: God I HATE this whole spiel about "Women over 30 are less desirable" NO we are NOT. We usually have developed healthy boundaries and our own mind and rather drop a dude then being molded in whatever they want out of us. It makes me sick every time I read a story like this because what usually happens is divorce a couple of years down the line when she would realise how much she missed out on to please him. Just for him to find the next blissfully inexperienced victim.

[@DakshaiRanger]

In my experience, life actually starts getting a lot better for just about everyone across the board after they turn 30, regardless of gender. Less impulsive and more mentally and financially stable.

[@streamerssaymyname]

Anybody who thinks women in their 30s can't get dates doesn't know many single women in their 30s. And also need to read all those reddit stories of men wanting to open their marriage with the common result that the woman he thought would sit quietly at home while he played with his toys actually can find better action than himself.

[@DakshaiRanger]

Seriously. No 30+ year old woman I know of has any trouble whatsoever getting dates.

[@AndyyWithAY]

He's definitely manipulative and controlling. That's absolutely an ultimatum. Then he's spewing red pill nonsense. Run from this man! People do get engaged after a year, but don't marry him. Don't even stay

[@technomancermagus8357]

It's an ultimatum, but not all ultimatums are bad.

[@charclay]

Run fast…but be sure to watch out for The Wall. 😂 😅😂

[@MILKandTWOSUGAR1]

But a flight attendant and mother can be tricky, her had valid concerns, she couldn’t make a decision, he saved them both time and heartache. He had boundaries and requirements, he was upfront and direct. seems like a good dude, hope she tackles her anxiety and depression… living at home with parents is not an “L” just a springboard to a better future. Men are allowed boundaries and relationship timescales also.

[@charclay]

@@MILKandTWOSUGAR1 yeah. I’m don’t see how he could have been any clearer that he didn’t want a long distance relationship while trying to start and raise a family, be it for days or months at a time. But he was vilified by a certain gender for expressing reasonable boundaries and concerns.

[@barbaral743]

I shared a house at one time with 2 friends. Had the phone ( landline) turned off twice; instead of paying the bill, one housemate took the money we'd all contributed into and replaced their broken stereo.

[@msredux]

He is no controlling and manipulative? Girl you need therapy badly

[@Mx-rr3qm]

He never wanted to propose to OP... That is the truth. He was just looking for any excuse...

[@Tammohawk1]

1. Just from the title. Boyfriend, "Quit your job or I'm not marrying you!" Me, "Well, I guess we aren't going to be getting married any time soon then." lol Now, from the actual story. Guy sounds manipulative. And who said that women in their 30's have a greater chance of having a special needs child? What about men in their 40's having a higher chance of having an autistic child? Yeah. 2. That guy needs to go and go quickly. I don't blame OP for going off on the roommate. 3. OMG OP is such a HUGE a-hole it's not even funny. He left his own sons wedding early? Which caused his wife to leave early missing the mother son dance? If I were OP's son, I'd go no contact after this. How selfish can one be?

[@mihalybalint8969]

Story 3, that one comment that comment that mentioned therapy, I swear to God, that infuriated me more than OP. People think that therapy is some sort magic cure for all. I really despise those kinds of people

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@maggpiprime954]

You too, Broken. 🤗💚💕💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@maggpiprime954 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@telinhajp]

❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗

[@megnotmegan1966]

Ditto sweetie❤

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@telinhajp 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@maggpiprime954]

Oh man. The first and last stories were so sad.

[@sandeegarding7582]

1st story about men wanting younger women. I dated older women most of my dating life. Like 2 to 15 years older as I got older on life. Minus the last 2 relationships. Last one resulting in my wife. Only incels and immature boys want "younger" women. Also most of my friends are 30+ having kids

[@DakshaiRanger]

I'm almost 40. Life gets better all around for just about everyone after 30, for men and women.

[@AnnerzDrum]

The first story had me shaking my head. It also got a little bit confusing towards the end of it. The fact that OP refused to see the red flags was astonishing. The guy practically told you that you shouldn't follow your dream but follow mine instead. I heard this on a show once: "Behind every great man there is a woman who sacrificed". People LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR you to disregard any chance (big or small) to live it. OP is so lucky to get to do something they wanted to do especially at a young age. I hope they feel better soon. That last Story.. yeah OP ita. It is not that hard to sacrifice your time for your child on their special day. Especially if there is no rhyme or reason. If OP said they were a surgeon and they got called in then maybe I could understand. This is a narcissistic tendency in my eyes.

[@viking3954]

Fly away girl.

[@brandy4530]

A man would never dream of working his ass off for his career, and then giving all up for a girlfriend of one year. Why do young women do this? Of course he was manipulating her. Telling her that she wouldn’t find someone in her 30s. She is 25! He is the one in his 30s. These men need a reality check. If a man hasn’t married and had children by his 30s, he is just as unlikely to have children as a woman. Not because of biology, but because they are aging too, and competing with the next generation of men. Any man that tells a woman she needs to give up her financial security for him is manipulating her, especially if he brings up how she isn’t going to find better because she is getting too old. He is the one that’s getting too old, and women in his age group know he is full of crap. They have seen enough to know that it is crazy to give up a career you have worked for in order to be with a man who all but tells her he only wants her while she is young and controllable. Yeah, this guy saying that her not calling him back for 24 hours was “sinful,” is a joke. That was when he knew he lost control of her. This woman dodged a bullet.

[@AryonaSamoto]

Story 1: He doesn't want a partner, he wants someone who does exactly what he wants without question. OP dodged a bullet with him, he wasn't even supportive when she was unwell. I'm glad OP's parents are helping her but I understand there may be underlying circumstances we don't know of as to why she feels the way she does. I hope she sorts out why she feels that way. Story 2: dude sounded like a mooch. Hopefully OP finds a reliable roommate and gets the money he's owed. Story 3: what a narcissistic parent. I hope OP goes low to no contact after this. If his dad always does this(probably dragging mum along too) he obviously doesn't consider anyone but himself when making decisions. And clearly the mom has a similar personality if she wasn't comfortable sticking around long enough to drive home later by herself, when she obviously knows her husband. She must have known the plan ahead of time too, such awful parents. I hope OP has a beautiful marriage and a happy family away from his selfish parents.

[@M1GrandExpert]

He does want a partner. He wants someone who will be around to which she won't. That profession is ripe with coworkers screwing each other too. So he stated a boundary that he wouldn't be with someone he knows won't be there. Ldr are hard. He waited for her to make a decision in which she couldn't.

[@Shenn3165]

Dad can’t even stick around for his own child, what a crappy man.

[@Silence-1170]

Hi waffles hope you are all doing well today! Stay safe and stay positive waffles!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8💜💜🤗🤗

[@BelleEFlopp-nk5xe]

I was 28 and 31 when I had my boys. A friend was 42 with a 21 year old and newborn. My sister was 44 with her latest baby. I know many more women who had healthy babies later in life. Yes, you’re more at risk for complications as you age, but it’s not as often as people imagine. There are a crap ton more of other reasons for a child to be born with mental/physical challenges other than a woman’s age. Personally, and from every other woman I’ve discussed this topic with, waiting until you’re at least past 25, allows for more personal growth/maturity, financial stability, and even a better functioning work/life schedule to accommodate changes that will take place. But there is never a “perfect time.” If you’re married by age 25, you both still need a minute to live together and build a strong foundation before adding in a few adorable life changers. My opinion of course…there are always exceptions.

[@D123-f9k]

So people can’t try to be supportive for awhile because they like a person then realize the reality of things doesn’t really work for them? It’s just automatically a trap instead of two adults learning they really do want different things and fun time is over?

[@Loverboy0694]

Finally someone with a valid point

[@kathydurow6814]

Then why didn't he simply call it quits.....but then he'd need to find another youngling gullible enough to enter domestic & s3xual servitude.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@kathydurow6814 Yeah, who wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who is gone all the time. Op made her choice and her BF made his, If the genders were reversed, you would call it boundaries.

[@strangelic4234]

1:30 He is her rock indeed but she is a swimmer.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Funny...isnt it? Her; hes my rock Also her; have break down when choosing to abandon job n choose LDR.

[@caridadchang7895]

comments: he has controling vibes op: he is not controling op later: so he told me to quit cause my live will suck when I'm 30 Red flags were waving harder than at the airport terminal. Save up from the six months at the airport, get back out there, and live your life honey. Hell, wait until you are 30 for marriage if you want to have kids then, LIVE your life.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

That age gap was a yellow flag. The first red flag was when he said he wouldn't have dated her if he knew she'd applied to be a flight attendant. He's correct when he says being a FA would make raising a family hard- she'd be away for extended periods often. But then he said the crap that sounded like it came from a redpill video. I'd GTFO of this relationship.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey can you take care of yourself? Just do one small thing that will make yourself happy. And if you feel like you can do more, please stretch, drink some water, and eat something. You matter so much. I send all the virtual love. 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@telinhajp]

Broken, enjoy your Friday! ❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

​@telinhajp you too m8 have a lovely weekend 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@Tyler171819]

Story 1: Honestly from the title I assumed this was gonna be about OP being a stripper who met her BF at the club she worked at. And even then I was like "Ok that's kinda dickish of him, but I get it.." But a flight attendant job? THATS what his morals protest to? Oh yes, the lurid way she hands out tissues and mini sodas for all the world to see....how scandalous.

[@sandracox4341]

Story 1: in the first few sentences of the story I didn't have the low opinion of the boyfriend everyone else had, just that he wanted a relationship that was more present. After the update where she was put on leave and offered an airport job for 6 months and he was completely unsupportive, nope leave.

[@sherrygibbs7547]

You know when you are really uncomfortable around a large group of people, wearing formal attire and your stomach is all queasy? Yeah. Not a great time to be putting food into it! What would people think of OP regurgitating in front of them? Or, seeing OP sweating and looking like he might be having a heart attack? Maybe people shouldn't be so quick to judge.

[@HobieInTheBox]

Why do people do this? Why do they date people who show their red flags on the first date??? OP said they "respect his morals and values as they're not similar to mine" and that's the problem Let's get one thing straight here, those "morals and values" are just sugar coated words for bigotry. No normal, respectful and kind person has those kinds of beliefs, where they force people to quit their jobs and passions, out of sheer ego and controlling behaviour. That's abusive. These people's "morals" are abuse.

[@Loverboy0694]

That’s not true. Sometimes certain jobs are not conducive to relationships. A person who needs regular contact with their partner will a hard time dating a woman who is often gone, just like a woman who is conservative and religious might have a hard time dating a male stripper. You are not defined by your job, but you do sometimes make employment decisions based on what’s best for you long term.

[@HobieInTheBox]

​@@Loverboy0694a reasonable person will understand that if a certain job doesn't fit your relationship expectations, you don't fucking date that person then. This moron still choose to date a flight attendant, why? Because he wanted to break her down, because he's not reasonable. What you're doing is making excuses for these abusive kinds of people. Because they don't do things with reason, but with control

[@nataliereeves3594]

Story 1: the boyfriend was basically telling op that she has do everything he wants regardless of her wants and needs. Also that hes not reliable and will leave at the first sign that things aren't going the way he wants. Hes saying thst when shes 30 she will be ugly and will leave her no matter what she did for him in the past. This guy is a controlling git who wants someone he can emotionally manipulate into being his puppet.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Story one the "bf" is being gross and making stupid comments

[@dream6562]

No he isn't, he has standards of how to raise a family, he did genuine try to live with the possibility of her being a flight attendant and said he couldn't do it, and statistically it's right that people past their 30s are higher with experiencing problems from pregnancy

[@DaniS398]

​@@dream6562it is not in the 30s, but mid to late 40s and older, that problems start to crop up with fertility. Even that is not set in stone as those studies are from medieval france looking at french peasant women.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

​@dream6562 Men in their 30s and into their 40s also have a higher experience of difficulty in fertility and having children with special needs. Why do none of y'all ever mention that? And the reason is that he wants her to feel like 30 is some kind of looming cut-off. He has not tried to "live with" her being a flight attendant. He had barely experienced it at all, was nothing but negative and was an extremely manipulative person who wanted everything his way. It isn't enough that she turned down the job for him, she didn't do it in a way that pleased him. We know these abusive men, we know their signs. You pretending it's t the case means f all other than you one of him.

[@dream6562]

@ZoeAlleyne I'm sorry but most of the time I see a guy having a standard and guys getting shit for it, we aren't allowed standards

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@dream6562 most of them are hard to keep up or impossible beauty standards, that the women would have to do all the chores and still work, and the man does nothing really emotionally cause they usually put in all the effort the 1st year then slowly stop putting in effort. That's not all men yeah but it's most.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

NEVER give up who you are and what you want for your life for a partner. The right person for you would never ask you to.

[@xevilgothgirlx]

title sounds like a yikes lmao update: yeah it was a huge yikes

[@Midnight0Mistress]

And she defends his behaviour. HAH!

[@paulchaudoir190]

Story three: I wouldn't be surprised to find out that OP is the stepdad and not the father and he wanted to ruin the son's wedding for whatever reason.