My Best Friend STOPPED Talking To Me When I Refused To Fund An Item For Her Wedding r/Relationships

[@MisterNightfish]

I wish I had 10$ for every time someone reddit discovers his or her "best friend" was not even a regular friend.

[@ivorynk752]

Then you'd be able to afford to pay for those lashes

[@MisterNightfish]

@@ivorynk752 And I still wouldn't pay for them! :O

[@victoriamiranda-stotelmyre4382]

Yes I agree on that point. Amazing how many people can be duped by the word “Friend” when people openly mistreated or took advantage of them. Like they are high functioning adults but have no critical thinking skills to understand what a friend relationship is. Amazing and sad.

[@maxinemyers9215]

Amen 🙏

[@Broeckchen]

The other day I was hanging out with my best friend and went on a rant about something she liked. We briefly argued about it (in a very polite way though). Then I paused and went, in the same conversation: "Wait. Wait that was shitty of me. I'm sorry." And we briefly talked it out and set better boundaries going forward (by which I mean I let HER set boundaries, because SHE got hurt by ME). The same evening she contacted me again about an issue with the electricity at my place that is causing extra costs for my roommate and me, and helped me troubleshoot as well as promised to come over soon for a checkup in person. I literally can't even fathom being shitty to her *on purpose* and it horrifies me when I am on accident. And I know the same is true the other way around. I am so mystified by all these supposed "best friends" who are so willing to cut others off over every tiny disappointment.

[@JadedJada]

"They started panicking and tried apologizing" ....OP was gonna be expected to pay for a lot more pre-wedding shit than she thinks. Their reaction sounds like "Oh no, our cash cow! Come back Bessie!"

[@catT5236]

That "Oh no, our cash cow! Come back Bessie!" had me snort laughing so hard, unfortunately I'd recently drunk some tea so I kinda choked a bit. Was worth it though, that was hilarious.

[@kali3731]

bessie 😂

[@thatjeff7550]

Last story: That one reminded me of one I read long ago that I found hilarious. Dude is telling a tale of him and his grandma in line at a grocery store. Up ahead is a gay couple finishing up getting their groceries rung up, and behind them and ahead of OP and grandma is a guy saying homophobic slurs to the couple. Grandma pipes up and tells the dude to shut the hell up. When he confronts her about it, she then suggests that maybe if he'd get a stiffy up the bum every now and then, it'd remove the stick out of his butt. Everyone except guy immediately bursts into laughing, which drives the dude off. And when OP--a kid at the time--asks Grandma why she did that for complete strangers, she told him, "Sometimes you have to stand up to people bullying others, otherwise they'll think they can do it to anybody." Kick-ass Grandma!

[@SilverKingGary]

"Also I feel the table-fucking comment was pretty unhinged" No, It was perfectly fine here and made me wanna give OP a high five. That was a solid way to tell the BIL to piss off.

[@kateemma22]

Mum approved too lol

[@bunnyslippers191]

Yeah, I thought the table fucking comment was freaking awesome, myself. Still giggling over it. I envy OP for his talent at comebacks. That's the sort of thing I'd think of days later when alone in the shower or something and the person I should have said it to is long gone.

[@zellagrace445]

I told my fiancé about this. His response to the table-fucking remark: “Why not?”😂

[@kateemma22]

OP2's mum is an absolute legend. WE LOVE YOU, MUM, WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

[@audreym3908]

She is!! I love how she left the room to die laughing at the table fucking comment 😂 and then resurrected herself to scold and berate BIL and daughter/sister 😂

[@roowyrm9576]

Let me get this straight - BIL is married to OP's sister, so technically BIL isn't family either, and HE's laying down the law?

[@emasters8619]

The sister needs to wonder why her husband is so concerned with her gay brother and his relationships. He may have something he is attempting to hide

[@tamitami9275]

@@emasters8619 I am very happy to see not everyone missed that! He wants his BIL. Him bringing his BF home, only solidified that is not going to happen. Sister is pissed because she knows but can not accept it so is lashing out.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Yea, but he's married and OP isn't so that's "different." 🙄 (BIL logic, not mine)

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Maybe his logic is he and his wife were married with children whereas OP and his boyfriend weren’t. But personally, I don’t think a legal document to say a couple is legally official doesn’t really make much of a difference in terms of who’s family.

[@sleepyearth]

The ending says it all. He's homophobic.

[@carlrood4457]

Mom was OK with OP bringing boyfriend to what was a "mom focused" visit. End of discussion.

[@arleneclark6369]

Exactly, BIL can get stuffed, obviously the non family thing was him not wanting to admit it makes him uncomfortable because they're gay, like nobody can see through his BS.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op needs some self-respect. BIL told him it was inappropriate to bring a stranger. OP knew BIL was homophobic, but he's worried that he wasn't nice enough. Try worrying about your mother, you know the reason for the gathering and not the homophobe.

[@bangeryun94]

​@@johnbradbury8610relatively new to Mark's page but I always see YOU saying the exact opposite of the general consensus. Is that your job here, to be a foil? If yes, please let me know so I can ignore you. Cheers!

[@mercycunningham2813]

Story 1: That sonehow reminds me how my coworkers believed for years I earned more than them. They were so resentfull till I finally got someone to tell me what's the problem and I started to laugh. Turns out I earned less, had no rich parents or BF. I'm just better with money, more resource full and still have style. How did they come to that crazy conclusion? I always ate takeout in the break room. Turned out those were reusable takeoutboxes I ordered from Amazon with my pretty displayed leftovers. I've always a good haircut. Oh a friend is a hairdresser and I trade cuts and color against babysitting. You wear designer clothing. I trifted and got the timeless pieces second hand. Added some pretty scares and brooches and neutral pieces of good quality. BUT BUT BUT What about your new shoes? They are from the 70% reduced rack. I got a better job now but I still laught how I accidently faked beeing rich.

[@alannahd.7417]

Hand over those money saving tips girl let’s go 😭😂

[@bunnyslippers191]

Oh, yeah, thrift stores, reduced for quick sale racks, reusable lunch boxes with leftovers, are ways to stretch your money. So is checking the grocery store sales circulars online *before* figuring out the menus for the week. A small/medium chest or upright freezer is another way to stretch your food budget. You can often find one used pretty cheaply in community buy and sell groups on Facebook from people who have just upgraded to a larger freezer or who are moving out of state and don't want to pay for moving it that far. That way when meat of any kind goes on sale you can buy extra, cut it up, wrap it up well or vacuum seal it and stick it in the freezer "for future reference." Sometimes you can get great stuff for free from local free groups on Facebook, Remember to cherish all your friends with pickups and strong muscles who know how to move rather heavy objects for pizza and beer/soda.

[@badkitty4922]

You shop like I do! Mad respect for you!💖🫂👏👏👏

[@toxicginger9936]

@@alannahd.7417 I'll give one tip that has served me super well over the last two decades. Change your mindset when you go shopping for something. Start with looking only at things on a deep sale, clearance, or thrifted. Next, rather than thinking to yourself "Do I like like/love/want/'need' this?" think to yourself, "Is this good quality for the price, and can I make it work with my style?" Then be open minded enough to just take the risk of buying something good quality at a great price that you normally would pass right over... and you will uncover treasures. For example, I bought a tankini top that I would have never considered because I needed a new bathing suit and it was down to $12 from $60. Turned out to look adorable on me and became my favorite instantly. Another example, I needed a new lamp, (why are they so expensive?) and I went straight to the one style on clearance. On the shelf it looked so gaudy (tear drop crystals on a lampshade? really? who would buy this? No one, that's why it's on clearance, lol), but it was $15 instead of $75, so I took the chance and bought it because I could afford it and just needed a lamp. In my house didn't look gaudy, instead it was a cute pop of bling. Went back the next day to scoop up another table lamp and 3 matching floor lamps all for under $100 and they look great.

[@toxicginger9936]

I relate to you so hard. People mistake that we have money because I am super skilled at clearance and thrift shopping for the nice things we have.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 1: NTA. They expected OP to pay without telling her? She’s not a mind reader and clearly they’re both trying to take advantage of her. Glad OP distanced herself from the update

[@sabrinahinton1774]

Then for the other girl to say she could've paid for them why didn't she pay if it wasn't a big deal. With friends like that who needs enemies. I wouldn't attend and cut my lost.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: NTA Remind him that your mother, who is his MIL said that your bf can attend, and that it is none of his fvcking business who visits YOUR mother at HER home.

[@gwdzee]

IKR! BIL has some freaking nerve. I know some are speculating that BIL is in the closet and in denial and that op's sister aware of it, but this could be just plain old homophobia and op's sister is a "keep my man at all costs" idiot. Just look at how she would half-heartedly call out her husband in the past, and compare that to what she unleashed on her family after she and hubby were kicked out.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2. That sister is going to regret ever being with that man and defending that man. She lost her entire family because she is enabling nasty behavior towards her brother and his boyfriend. She will be alone, because that man is going to change his hostility to her, and she will not have family to back her up

[@lynngrant533]

Story 2: all I could think of while listening was that OP’s self-entitled homophobic brother-in-law could stay home himself If he didn’t care to be around to gay men. And then mom took a stand! I love mom! She took my words right out of my mouth when she blew up at brother-in-law and sister. Go mom!!! And the “fucking on the kitchen table” comment made me spit out my drink! 😂😂😂 thanks, Mark! Good stories today! 😊

[@wendyhadley2764]

That mother is a gem! A master of motherhood! A woman of the 21 century! A real sweetheart!

[@73shay93]

Story 1: Glad OP finally put herself first. Sorry she had to acknowledge they were never her friends.

[@BruinPhD2009]

OP was my hero in that update. Truthfully, I was most pissed at Sam, trying to spend OP'S money. Shameless suck-up.

[@onepieceisking5493]

And no surprise that other friend got mad at op for telling everyone the actual truth and said a lot of insults.

[@arleneclark6369]

Sam's the MOH let her pay, jesus the entitlement of these people..

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

Well done OP! Love the idea of pink hair 💕

[@Swnsasy]

All that stuff she did for Callies wedding, asks her to go get lashes and lunch and then stands there with her grubby paws out! Oh hell nah! Those are not friends, they are leeches... It's not on you to pay especially when she didn't even ask upfront! I would bow out of the wedding, block them and find actual friends... The audacity of both of them to do OP that way... Wow

[@boneymeroney2674]

The comment from OP to the BIL about the dinning room table and family dinners made me 😂. Seriously. Momma 😂 too. I'm sure she had to take a minute or two to get the 😂 out.

[@audreym3908]

She died laughing at the comment and her anger towards her SIL and daughter resurrected her 😂

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 2: i was so happy when OP said nobody liked the BIL since I instantly knew where the story was heading, the family was only tolerating him for the sister from the sounds of it so his little comment was going to backfire hard.

[@Katiekooleyes]

Story 2: The mother cracking up at the table comment made me laugh even harder than the already hilarious comment itself! 😂

[@vladimirprostran1896]

Story 2: OP should have asked his BIL “So you will feel more comfortable when I marry my bf and he officially becomes family?”. The BIL’s reaction would have been interesting to see

[@Emi_TheWinged]

The uncomfortable is so bs, (he is "uncomfortable because of Op bf" so OP should have said that he is uncomfortable with such a homophobe and BIL should Get the f out )

[@andronicustorres9153]

Plot twist: BIL is a closeted gay.

[@Russman67]

Callie and Sam both looked at OP as the ATM with the eyelash lady. I love how Sam is indignant OP didn't pay but had no extra $$$ herself. Maid of honor, that's on you! 🤦‍♀️🤦🤦‍♂️ After the update, cutting both of them out was what needed to happen. Screw these two.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Sam is the real AH here. Sounds like that one "friend" who's afraid to he separated from the popular group and therefore goes along with every crappy thing they do.

[@angelaa7388]

They just expected her to know?? What a weird way to push the blame on OP. She was not a psychic, so she is somehow an AH?? She's gotta tell these girls the ATM is closed.

[@philwill0123]

Strange how no one else participated in the lashed thing. I'm betting other people has been financially rinsed and Sam/Callie arranged lots of "events" where Callie was not expecting to pay and Sam thought(with many other people potentially going) she could get away with not paying as well. Have seen with other wedding with "spa days/drinks nights/ events nights" where MOH organised stuff and deliberately splits costs so bride and MOH don't pay (e.g you look on website and spa day is listed at £50 but suddenly you are all asked to pay £75 for no reason)

[@BruinPhD2009]

@@philwill0123 Good point! Everyone else already noped out of that gathering and that probably should have been a hint to OP. If it were part of that “everyone has to look the same” edict, why weren’t the other bridesmaids forced to come along? Hmmm…

[@danger0Robertson]

I honestly think eyelash extensions are stupid for how expensive they are. Just use better mascara or false lashes.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

Oh no.... they are great. I miss them so much. No mascara or falsies can compare. I mean, they are not required and honestly you could get a whole makeup artist to do your makeup with falsies cheaper than these extensions.

[@danger0Robertson]

@ZoeAlleyne so it's like getting acrylic nails done? It's the extra step for nail care after painting them, but it is an indulgence, not a necessity, kind of thing?

[@ZoeAlleyne]

@danger0Robertson yeah, not a necessity for sure and if you are real good you can do press ons and make it look good. Damn, now I miss my acrylics and my extensions, ugh to be a poor broke bitch.

[@danger0Robertson]

@ZoeAlleyne have you tried doing polygel nails at home? It's easier to do than acrylic, and it's cheaper.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

@@danger0Robertson I suck at the other hand because I'm disabled, BUT I recently discovered a hack called: making my boyfriend do it so I'm going to buy a small set and he can learn that in between learning how to braid my hair. Score!

[@cmsxcb]

Story 2: So whose problem is it - certainly not OPs. It's not OPs problem or responsibility to fix somebody else's sexuality issues. PS - As somebody who's been married for so long that I'd forgotten that kitchen tables can be more than just something you eat off, thanks for the reminder! 🤣🤣🤣

[@Plaprad]

Make sure it's a good quality table and have someone check the hardware. Those fuckers can and will come apart at the worst time.

[@jerriewyatt905]

😂😂😂😂

[@phoenixsky6124]

She could clearly pay for it since she did.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Right? Amazing how fast that credit card appeared when OP stood up for herself. Casts a new light on an already dark "friendship."

[@britnicox3929]

1: someone once called weddings like this “filter events” - the inevitable moments when push comes to shove and the issues that weren’t on the surface come bubbling up from stress. It weeds out the bad friends and makes people decide what they want to deal with, and I’m glad this ended with her cutting them out. NTA 2: I’m so glad that the brother pointed out that he’s not technically family either. I can’t imagine someone coming into my blood family and telling me who I’m allowed to bring

[@johnbradbury8610]

OP was a total doormat for the friendship, but she made an awesome recovery. I had a friend like that, we were drinking buddies. When I cut back on the booze I realized my "friend" was a user.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

STORY 2 my initial thought was that brother-in-law had a crush on OP! His behavior came off as jealous and possessive not hateful to me! I could be completely wrong. But I genuinely thought it was because brother-in-law had a crush until I heard the comments. So I definitely think that's a possibility as well. Ofc it could just be the h phobia. Did anyone else get those vibes as well

[@hibiscusrose6074]

Sam should have paid as she was the maid of honor.

[@harleynovak3297]

Story 2, the table comment had me seriously laughing. It reminded me of 20 years ago. My SO got mad I went to a meet & greet for first day ticket sales & met a wrestler I had been crushing on for years. 2 days later, the SO argues about it. I told him, "WTF is the problem? It's not like I asked him to f*ck me on the autograph table. There were children there." Our friends who were there laughed & he broke up with me. 😹😹😹😹😹😹

[@franciebelcher4594]

Love that mom laughed, and so glad she stood up for OP

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

S2: "I don't want to make people think I'm forcing my relationship in anyone's face." Stop it. Everybody is entitled to basic level of respect. You're free to love whoever you want. It's not your problem to solve if someone can't bring themselves to treat you decently. "I understand people have a problem with gay couples." No, they don't, they have a problem with basic respect for you. They don't deserve your understanding.

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

It always saddens me no end when people say things like this. Being a normal, average couple in public view is NOT “throwing your relationship” in anyone’s face. Unless you are full on making out each time a person sees you, just to get on that person’s nerves, or are actively, verbally and maliciously rubbing it in their faces, you have done nothing wrong. OP was at a family event with his partner. That isn’t throwing his relationship into BIL’s face. That was being a normal, average couple.

[@rickraber1249]

Story #1 made me shake my head on several counts. I'm Mrs. Rick, BTW, and am quite a bit older that OP and the rest. Back in the day, you got the dress, tux, flowers and a reception. No destinations, no Hollywood production, no bachelorette party complete with strippers and infidelity, and certainly no $25K and up spent on all of it. And the weddings were beautiful, how 'bout that. Now it seems like the brides all want to be queen/tyrant for the day with huge expectations of the attendants - both time, money and appearance. The bride needed eyelash extensions or falsies like she needed an extra head (she could maybe use one?), and strangely was fine with only some of the bridesmaids getting them? Her entitled attitude at the cash register was astounding. Good for OP for finally seeing the light. Hope the groom knows what he's getting into.

[@carlrood4457]

It was stated that they all hadn't visited mom together in a long time, so she probably hasn't been witness to BIL's behavior very much. It seems, as is typical with adult children, that they each have visited mom individually or just their immediate families in recent years.

[@gwdzee]

BIL said this garbage to op when it was just him and bil on the porch. Plus some of these other comments came from other family members and were later relayed to op. Maybe bil has realized he's not getting anywhere with saying homophobic garbage in a crowd, so he waited and tried to bully op when he was alone.

[@dannietea]

Story 2: I genuinely don’t understand homophobia. Like, unless there’s abuse happening, a relationship between two adults is not my business and if they’re happy, I’m happy for them.

[@swisstroll3]

In 1923 homophobia was the default and was taken for granted, except in artistic communities. In 2023, the opposite is true. I think we are making progress. After all, in 1823 slavery was taken for granted.

[@enibeni2071]

Is impossible to make everybody think the same. Humans are made for having different opinions. Humans have the right to have different opinions. Nobody is accepted by everybody. Nobody connects with everybody. Nobody is good person in the mind of everybody. Everybody has his/her own opinion. There will always be discussion about what is natural, artificial, good, bad, evil, ethic, unethic, moral, inmoral, etc. What people must understand is the different public sphere and private sphere....and the difference between one's private sphere and others's private sphere.

[@wmdkitty]

@@enibeni2071 It's one thing to not like me on a personal level, it's entirely another to hate me for being a minority. It's not a matter of "opinion", when gay and trans people are subject to ever-increasing violence, and "opinions" like yours give cover to the murderers.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

@@enibeni2071 So... Let me remind you that every first and second world country says that discriminating people in most aspects of life (ie financial, business, work, law, service, etc) for their belonging to a particular group not violating any laws is ILLEGAL. There is a reason for this. So what you're saying is you're fine with people violating the core laws of their own country and most of the times constitutional laws, because they want to. Good fu**ing example you're setting, you are just as judgmental and problematic as the people actively harming others because you're allowing them *to harm others* with the excuse of "you can't be liked by everyone". DUH. Being disliked for stuff you can't change is not it, fam. Find some decency and grow a spine.

[@ohboy-zi1yf]

​@swisstroll3 the majority of people in 2023 are incredibly homophobic, what planet are you on

[@tracicolvis7382]

Story 1: when my sister got married a few years ago I asked if she wanted me to re-dye my hair (it was black, vivid blue and purple) and cover my tattoos. She said no, she hadn't even considered it because it's just who I am. You hear so many of these stories where brides want their "friends" to look "normal" for the wedding so they don't draw attention. Problem with that is people are used to seeing us with our colored hair and tattoos so changing it to look "normal" actually just makes us stand out because it's not how we usually look.

[@AryonaSamoto]

Story 1: I'm glad OP stood up for herself and realized that her "friends" were just users. I am also glad she set the story straight with everyone else. I hope OP has an amazing life with her boyfriend and the move goes wonderfully. Story 2: I'm so glad the rest of OP's family is supportive and accepting. I hope sister and BIL learn from this and grow but at least OP has the rest of his family. I hope the rest of the vacation was awesome🙌

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 it's not like we're f**king on the kitchen table 😌🤣🤣 NTA just for giving me a hearty morning laugh. Doesn't sound like BIL sponsored this trip, so he needs to STFU. I think BIL may have a secret crush on OP. Cuz why is he so in OP's business? 🤔🙄

[@forsomenotreally]

Story 1: I'm glad that OP finally stood up for herself.

[@dwilcox7706]

Am I the only one picturing this big family Christmas dinner? On one end, the entire family in their holiday sweaters. Table resplendent with all the yummies that make Christmas a feast. Holly Jolly Christmas plays on the ole phonograph in the background. They eat from their plates; in awkward silence, occasionally stealing glances at each other. All refusing to look to the other end of the table, where OP and his BF are riding bareback gleefully, raucously. With yeehaws and arse smacks and maybe a cowboy hat waved in the air and "ride'm cowboy!" Just going to town bent over the dinner table. Or is it just me? Well your welcome for ghe visual if so 😂 😂 😂

[@tamitami9275]

LMBO! Just a little entertainment to brighten the holidays!

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: NTA I hate it when people spring it on others, at the last minute, that they expected someone else to pay their share. Callie is not your friend; she wants you to be her ATM. Callie made that appointment, so Callie must pay for herself. It is not your fault that she overspent on her wedding, living beyond her means, and sucker-punching others to pay for her. My advice is to drop out of the wedding, and go find some REAL friends, because these women clearly are not friends.

[@crawdaddy2004]

I can’t imagine even being friends with someone who’s homophonic (or racist or transphobic or misogynistic, etc), let alone marrying someone like that.

[@avaphynx]

Right? That's a serious character flaw.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

I’ve dumped friends for it.

[@crawdaddy2004]

@@TheRockinDonkey You are a rockstar for doing that.

[@aphelion4616]

I *almost* felt sorry for the sister as maybe he didn't display the behaviour before they got married and it was coming out after the fact. However, her defending her husband after OP confronted him the following morning made me lose any possible sympathy I may have had for her. It's obvious she holds the same views and just felt more emboldened to show her true colors since she was with someone who felt the same. Sister and BIL need to just be made NC.

[@crawdaddy2004]

@@aphelion4616 I’m a cis, straight, white, middle-class male. The moment of my life that was most flattering, honoring and heartfelt was when my friend of 10+ years came out to me as transgender. I was the first person they had come out to. She (born male) had put on a hyper masculine facade for her entire life. With the help/encouragement of a bit of alcohol, she asked what I would think if someone came out to me as transgender. I told her, nothing would change. That person is still my friend. It was after that, she told me.

[@videofan1010]

Ewww... I can't believe the bride backed someone into a corner to pay for something without talking to someone first!

[@nairbvel]

Story 1: I'm glad OP finally woke up to what the Mean Girls mini-clique was doing. Story 2: My only concern is if OP's mom doesn't get to have a good relationship with her grandkids due to BIL (and, unfortunately, her daughter) being such a problem.

[@lifewithlee6298]

Story 1 oh boo whoo 😭 they lost there whipping girl . Now they got to pick up the slack 😅

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 1: I just saw the title and NTA! Girl NTA!

[@momo382844]

Congrats on your new titanium spine, OP! It looks great on you!

[@scarletgoldenthorn]

Someone asking me to cover my tattoos and change my hair for their wedding would already have me ticked off, but shape wear? FUCKING SHAPE WEAR? I would lose my MIND. What in the bodyshaming bullshit!? They’d be completely dead to me.

[@ElleD308]

It's crazy how many bridges and money people burn for their dumb weddings. They go into debt, destroy friendships, families and a year later now most ask for an open marriage 😂🤣

[@aerolister8093]

@@ElleD308 or just get divorced XD

[@ElleD308]

@@aerolister8093 or cheat with their fat boss 🤣

[@somedragonbastard]

Yeah the only value in shapewear for me is making a dress drape a bit more nicely if you (the person wearing it) care about that

[@CouncilEstateRach]

As soon as the bride realised she wasnt gonna pay for the lashes, she knew she wasnt gonna pay for lunch so doesnt eant to hang out with op. I feel so sorry for op, sam and the bride are best friends maybe but i dont think they see op as their best friend because you dont treat people you love like that. Poor girl. Its so hard when you realise people you thought were yr friends arent, but youll be better off on yr own than hanging out with these two, 3 can never make a good friendship groups, always one on the outs.

[@carlrood4457]

You can't really have two best friends. There's never 100% equality in relationships. Callie and Sam are best friends. OP is the third wheel.

[@madambutterfly1997]

If I don’t go to lunch, don’t expect me at the wedding

[@ZoeAlleyne]

Callie lost me the moment she asked a friend to cover up her tattoos. My friend who will be in my party has tattoos and I would never ask her to cover them up, they all mean a lot to her.

[@Jessidafennecfox]

Covering up tattoos is a pain in the ass, I cosplay and find covering up my tattoos irksome. I am self conscious of my body so that would hit me hard.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

@Jessidafennecfox I wouldn't ask. Like, if someone I know has a certain look that is their look and I'm inviting THEM to be in my wedding, why would I want them to not be... them? If they like covering it up for themselves then that is their prerogative but asking is tacky and rude imo. My friend has a Snoopy tattoo and oh, you might think it is just Snoopy. But it is in honour of a beloved family member who has passed. The only thing I would ask is not to dye your hair a colour that clashes. Just means sure it looks nice with the colours we have picked out, and if there is a hair stylist we have booked in to give you long curls don't suddenly cut it short for no reason right before because then that is work for the stylist. I have scars all over my arms from when I was a teenager, I used to be so self conscious of them and my mum would always encourage me to cover them up, thinking that would help. But it made things worse. Now I forget they are there, I could not gaf but I would get whiplash if someone asked me to cover them to look a certain way and I cannot imagine caring about an aesthetic more than I do my friend's body, security and safety.

[@flamenmartialis6839]

If there's any facial tattoos it's one thing to cover them.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

@flamenmartialis6839 I dunno, I feel like if you don't want face tattoos in your wedding then..,don't ask someone with face tattoos to be in it? Most of the facial tattoos I have seen are Maori and I would want to ask them to be covered even LESS.

[@zellagrace445]

When I asked my best friend to be my maid of honor asked me what I wanted her to do with her hair for the wedding. She’s always trying new hair colors so I initially thought she wanted to have fun with a new look. Then I listened to some Reddit bridezilla stories and understood what she was asking. I made it clear in the wedding chat I just wanted my bridesmaids to clean up and wear matching dresses.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 1: So NTA! First things first, Callie telling OP to strip the color out of her hair, cover up her tattoos, & use shapewear is basically saying "I don't like the way you look. Don't be yourself. Change." HELL NAH! My bestie is a bigger girl covered in tats & piercings, has new hair color every other month. I'll be damned if I tell her to not be herself for my wedding. Knowing her she'd dye her hair to match the dress & I'd LOVE that. Callie just assuming OP would pay... just because?? You know what they say about people that ASSUME. You make an ASS out of U & ME. After Update: Good on OP. Them "panicking" was a sure enough sign. Then Callie blasting OP after she informed the other bridesmaids... girl showed her colors. Story 2: "it made him "uncomfortable" to have a non-family member at a family visit" Non-family member? Dude HE wasn't family at one point. BIL can fuck right off. OP asked his mom, mom said yes. That's the person it should matter to. End of story. After Update: So glad OP has his mom & brother in his corner. His sister & BIL sound like pieces of shit. How she could be complacent in this? Fucking slaps on the wrist all around for her dear husband. This is your BROTHER. I'd send her a one last "kiss my ass" before blocking her.

[@lindajacobs1487]

Story 1: Sam was just as guilty of using OP as Callie was. Two's company, three's a crowd. Story 2: I'm so glad OP put it all out for the family to see what was going on. You go, Mom!

[@catsncrows]

6:30 hit me hard. I had a less than good friendship where she dragged me out shopping and remade me into what she wanted. Advice is one thing, control is another

[@samvoss6697]

I constantly rewinded story 2's update. That mom was amazing!

[@valgill5036]

We got married 5 years ago, and all I asked of my 4 bridesmaids was that they provided their own silvery coloured shoes. The night before the wedding, we got a bit tipsy on Prosecco, decorated the tables and set up the sweetie table, and I gave them their bridesmaids boxes filled with goodies. I wouldn’t have dreamt of asking them to pay for their dresses, hair or make-up, never mind expecting them to pay for mine!

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 2- OPs mum and bro are superstars! His mum sounds awesome! So nice to hear a parent defend their LGBTQ+ child, instead of alienating them. Homophobic people are 🤢.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - Mom is a rock star! She, OP, OP's bro and OP's BF can have a great time now that the idiots are gone!

[@domgeek5632]

In story 2. OP's sister is like 13 years older than him and she's got kids then decides to make threats? Some family. Also OP in story 2 with that we're not fucking on the table comment bro is giving off such Freddy Mercury vibes.

[@gwdzee]

I'd like to know what the threats were. My best guess is "you'll never see your nephews/grandkids! So, there!" (Then, when she needs babysitters, she'll conveniently forget about those threats, rofl.)

[@catbitmaster8216]

Hooray for OPs of both stories! And to mom of 2nd story, too!

[@cptfwiffo]

ahahaa. That last story. I would suggest OP to consider that his BIL is closeted. And tell that to your sister. Stir that shit up. Because next time he makes a remark, you throw it right back "I know you're uncomfortable. It's hard on you that we get to do what you want." or ... "Yeah, you wanted to watch, right?"

[@Eltonscruggs]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@Eltonscruggs]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counsellor, and how do i reach her?

[@Eltonscruggs]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

That mom in story 2 is the GOAT

[@Foxie444]

Bravo for OP in the first story for how she handled that situation! I wasn’t expecting her to go cold turkey on the friendship right before the wedding but I definitely saw it coming! I’m proud!!!

[@kmechwarrior1684]

S1: Callie sucks, I HATE bridezillas. Her expenses are her own fault. S1-U1: Good for you OP!

[@carolrondou6161]

Mom is the GOAT

[@CharlesGriswold]

Sounds like the OP in story 2 has an awesome mom. Good on her for sticking up for her son and his boyfriend.

[@LivxLaughxLove]

NTA. Ma'am, you don't get to volunteer MY WALLET for YOUR WEDDING. Girl, find you something safe to do.

[@tandelogan2825]

It is always weird when your eyes are opened to a relationship and you start to see how it has always been bad but you assumed you were being paranoid etc, on certain occasions.

[@nightcorelucario2218]

I imagine mum just chasing out BIL and sister in story 2 with an ammo bag of slippers

[@annabordelon6663]

Fear The Chancla

[@CreepyBlueAnimals84]

Fake Eyelashes Story: Good for OP for standing up for herself and for dropping those two horrible people. Homophobic Sis/BIL: I loved that OP had a family meeting and put it all out on the table!! Good for mom (laughing at comment) and brother for sticking up for OP!!

[@bobcloy5171]

I hate it when other people force their insecurities onto you when you’re being within reason

[@jacearmor5274]

Story 1: I've heard of a bridezilla before but never a bridemaidzilla!

[@VSE4me1]

I don’t understand why it’s BIL’s place to decide who should or should not come to his WIFE’s family gathering.

[@nataliedawson9904]

I love waking up to a fresh story! Thanks mark!

[@alarmedregret]

The "I can't help being uncomfortable" line drives me nuts. If you're that uncomfortable with who a person is, then leave. Easy-peasy.

[@tamitami9275]

I do not understand that comment. I have never understood it.

[@paperkay]

"This wedding means a lot to her, ... she has always wanted to be married..." Dude, if you want to BE married, you go to the town hall and sign a piece of paper. Baam, you're married.

[@bmarie1001]

They rescinded 1st OPs invitation to lunch cuz they thought she was gonna pay for it...

[@ltdee1970]

Story 1 IS Very Sad!! She was Your best Friend to not your friend at all!! Wedding is where you find who your true friends are, and with respect to you, maybe you never was there friend!!!

[@treehouse2902]

I love the strong OP who cut out her friendship with the bridezilla.

[@pearbear6418]

Story 2: NTA. The mother wanted the boyfriend there and her opinion was the only one that mattered since it's her home. BIL can kick sand.

[@hilaryc3203]

#1 OP sounds like a "go along, to get along" type of person and the people in her life were used to taking advantage of that. Little things so she just didn't notice. People change, or over time they show their true selves. i have dropped "friends" permanently as well and have never regretted the decision; you only live once and you don't need the excess drama of crap people around you. i'm glad that her switch flipped and she became decisive as well; it will do her in good stead going forward.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. Uhm, what? Callie doesn't say a word to OP about paying for the eyelash extensions, and just expects OP to pay? Nope. I can't imagine treating one of my friends so terribly. I doubt the marriage is going to last. If you get so upset over trivial things, chances are you get upset over stupid things too. And that doesn't work well in a long term relationship. 2. Brother in law has a problem and it's his problem to deal with, no one else's. He needs to learn to be more inclusive and quit worrying that maybe boyfriend wants his butt. I love OP's mom. She's a woman after my own heart. I'd kick them out of my house too. I have a difficult time dealing with people like that. And if it were one of my kids? Yikes.

[@Charles-sd7xu]

I’m so glad op realized it cus every time he was like “she doesn’t really defend me” I was saying out loud “so she’s homophobic”

[@VidGirl88]

Some "friends" are only friendly when you're the generous one. 😢

[@doctordetroit1217]

Definition of a wedding : An overpriced piss up to try and impress people you don't know!

[@maxinemyers9215]

Love the mom and OP is blessed to have her💐

[@tamitami9275]

OH MY! You all missed it on the last one! OP's BIL is J E A L O U S! He is crushing on him and that is why he is pissed the OP"s BF is there, sister is pissed because deep down she knows it!!!

[@kathleendougharty3210]

Almost 50 yrs ago I was asked to be MOH at my best friends wedding. I told her I’d have to decline because I didn’t have the money for the dress. Now this was back in the 70s when 125.00 was a lot of money for a dress. She was having the fancy country club wedding and I had just gotten married 2 weeks before her having the ultimate DIY poor college student wedding. Her dad called me and told me not to worry. The dress would be a gift from him personally. I was never pressured to participate out of guilt or shamed for my lack of funds. That what friends do for each other. They talk and work thinks out instead of assuming. And even after 50 yrs we are still close friends. I’m very blessed with my friends!

[@mitchellsoto5141]

There is an identical story like this regarding a Wedding dress fitting. The OP was the bride, the bridesmaids were the evil friends

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1- you only think she hasn't been a bridezilla because you haven't told her no until now...

[@bandaidsandshoes]

You know for once I’d love for someone to be honest about being asked to join the wedding party. It’s framed as being such an honor but it’s actually a burden. “I’m getting married!!! Would you please do me the honor of making significant financial contributions as well as spending your valuable time for MY special day! It’s such an inconvenience to you but it would make me SOOOO HAPPY!!!”

[@tabbynakamura]

Story 2: Op isn't pushing his relationship in anyone's face; he's treating his boyfriend like a boyfriend. His mom LIKES his boyfriend and he asked the only party that mattered in such a case if she was fine with it. BiL needs to shut up or get out of the way. Like, of all the people who should be saying something, he's the LAST one to get a say. Since when do you get remotely a say in how people live their lives cause you married their sister? Edit: And of course everyone hates BiL. I was about to say, "Bet Mom likes OP's BF more than BiL" but uhh, yeah, ya know, didn't just hit the nail on the head but knocked it through the board and into the ground there with that prediction. What a wanker.

[@JikeriJokeri]

Hiii, it has been a while. Last time I commented, I told that I wasn't doing so great, but I can now safely say that everything is going much better. These stories has been a help as well, thanks Mark! You're always so brigh. And I tell you all little secret, I have three bags of my favourite chips! They only come in shops in autumn, which is sad, so I'll get few so I can stash them away, like the gremlin I am, for future.

[@JikeriJokeri]

I think it's called chanterelle in English. Potato chips with the orange mushroom flavor, with other spices as well. My mom and I bought them few years back first time and I just fell in love with them! Sadly last year we couldn't find any, so this year I'll get enough through winter if needed! Or as long I can spare few euros.

[@faeriefire78]

Story 1: They act like this when OP makes LESS than them? My best friend makes significantly more than me. Like, we're not even on the same planet kind of difference. I would be humiliated to do what these people did to OP to my friend. They should be ashamed, but users never are. Story 2: PLOT TWIST -- the BIL is secretly jealous of the bf and is suppressing sexytime feelings for OP. 😂

[@calicocritterscrafts886]

Story 2: the next time someone makes a homophobic comment to anyone be sure to say loudly “why are you so obsessed with what I do with my genitalia?!” That usually shuts that shit down quickly

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 - NTA The BIL is a homophobe. OP is an adult with a life long partner, BIL needs to respect that or GTFO.

[@hibiscusrose6074]

What if brother inlaw is undercover ? Sister may be a battered wife also husband may have taken her phone to text tham.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

2) Mom leaving the room laughing, that'd be me but honestly I probably would only make it to the floor and not out the door 😂😂😂

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "I was told that maybe it's best if I didn't go to lunch." Response: "Hope you've got money left on that credit card for lunch." 👋🏻 1) These girls are not your friends. Asking you to change what you look like to fit her "aesthetic" means she's judging you for what you look like, a representation of who you are; and the pictures aren't going to look like the real you, they'll look like her more acceptable view of you. (I once heard someone with a lot of tattoos answer the question "Why would you do that to yourself" with, "I love colorful things so much, I decided to become one." I LOVED that answer!) 2) Expecting you to pay for something when a) it hasn't been discussed with you beforehand and b) you're not even the MoH? c) Sam has a lot of nerve demanding you pay for it when she didn't offer to. You having more savings does not mean they're entitled to spend it. These aren't friends: they're leeches. How much do you want to bet they'd have needed help paying for lunch too? S2: The trip was to see your mom, who adores your bf. You asked her, and she agreed. I found the table comment funny. BIL (who I might point out is also not a blood family member) has zero say and can get bent. ETA: I love your mom.

[@telinhajp]

Good afternoon, Mark and Poppy! Wishing you both good health. Always! ❤️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@waltdoherty540]

Story 2. Let's hear it for Mom!

[@laurameier7069]

Story 2: I love the mom so much! ❤

[@user-blob]

Excellent result from story 1 😊

[@user-blob]

…I meant story 2 😂