My Brain (tour diary)

[@MagikarpPoop]

That metaphor hit me hard. I feel like my bus is empty, and it has been for a long time. Still i tell myself that i'm alright just enjoying the peace an quiet of this bus ride. Maybe that is not so. Maybe I should allow other people in. I guess i avoid thinking about this stuff. I guess i am glad that now i did. Thanks Dodie

[@doddleoddle]

MagikarpPoop

[@MagikarpPoop]

doddleoddle Thanks Dodie. You're the best!

[@ElliMauve]

MagikarpPoop Your comment hit me hard. It's a tough ride but do your best!

[@MagikarpPoop]

Elli Angelidou Thanks! ♥︎

[@ElliMauve]

:)

[@TimH]

All the feeels :) this was so good!

[@doddlevloggle]

:D

[@msmusik2]

TimH Films oh my god I want to go on tour! Your living my dream haha

[@lucymoon]

Watching this in the lib and it feels like I've done sixty emotions before lunchtime

[@lucymoon]

meowitslucy You'll be okay soon, egg

[@doddleoddle]

meowitslucy

[@lucymoon]

doddleoddle

[@fawazshah]

the ballad of dodie and her brain

[@sianvadher9891]

the 1975 omG

[@fr4nk13.]

😎👉👉

[@55nova]

Fawaz Shah my favorite comment

[@eleanorharrington469]

Fawaz Shah GOOD PUN I LOVE THE 1975 MY BABIES FOR YEARS

[@SydneyHolofcener]

your burger metaphor literally just described depression better then any other cheesy metaphor i have ever heard

[@Leadley]

I want to stay on your bus forever

[@whoahchloe]

This was the most honest and accurate video regarding depression and what those lesser moment are like that I have ever seen. Everything you said struck a chord in me, all of it was recognisable - the emptiness, the lack of feeling, the frustration at that lack of feeling. I'm glad you're starting to feel things again - there's nothing better than realising you can feel the things that others around you have felt for ages once more (:

[@doddleoddle]

whoahchloe oh me oh my thank you

[@eunoia1395]

This is my favorite dodie video I think

[@eunoia1395]

Yeah. It is.

[@stevenbridges]

I am so happy we're friends

[@doddleoddle]

StevenBridges I JUST REALLY LOVE CATS thank you my best best best chum

[@EllaSaysHiya]

StevenBridges literally same cringed super bad XD eep super great day

[@BryandCandice]

This is genuinely one of the greatest videos I've ever seen. Honoured to be a part of it gah

[@laylan3711]

It's been over one year and this vlog has still remained my favorite vlog on the Internet. Thank you, Dodie.

[@doddleoddle]

I think… I think I was insufferable

[@tektite0]

and yet we all still here so u must be doing something right 💀💪

[@bethanymonday3726]

As a 20 year old who is not doing swell, this video is exactly what I need right now, so thank you to past..insufferable you x

[@sallylanganjc]

That description hit me so hard... Just crying my eyes out because I can relate so much. It's so easy to think you're out of that 'hole' though, then get dragged right back into it. Thanks for being honest Dodie, that's so brave of you but it can influence/ encourage so many people who need it. I respect you so much, thanks.

[@doddleoddle]

Sally Langan Gah I'm happy but also sorry you can relate!!!! it's not fun

[@sallylanganjc]

doddleoddle Not fun at all... just gotta fight through it,

[@candysomething]

I adore you. You're going to have to remove me from that bus with force if you ever want rid of me, just FYI

[@doddleoddle]

candysomething Ah stay on my bliddy bus forever

[@hollyb123isawesome]

doddleoddle, how does it feel to be adored by her?

[@EthanEatsFlowers]

+hollyb123isawesome oh my god, did you just...

[@nanyprincesa]

I come here every time I remember this video exists. And every time I feel grateful.

[@moonshard3732]

I'm not crying, my eyes are just sweating. Dodie I just want to say that you have impacted my life so much. I started my channel because of you. You are one of the only you tubers who is honest instead of pretending to be cheerful and perfect all the time. I know that telling you to cheer up won't make you any happier, but I just wanted to tell you that you have one hundred thousand people supporting you on this channel and even more on your main. So if you ever just feel like crap and want to vent, we won't judge you. Honestly this video made me tear up so much. It reminded me of when I first found your channel an watched your videos under the covers all night when I was supposed to be sleeping because I wanted to memorize the lyrics. I was in love. But that was when you were Doddleoddle. This is when you are Dodie clark, and I love you even more. Dodie is real. Dodie is a person who pulls you out of the dark to remind you that there are people out there like you. And for a brief moment, you are there. There is no border between you and the screen. Don't feel bad about being yourself. Don't feel like talking to us when you are sad makes us go away. Because other people make us pause, make us forget about our problems, and you help us connect. You help us realize that there are other people like us, who feel the same way, who think the same things. What you are putting out is more than just silly little song videos or funny blogs, It's comfort.

[@majortom2231]

+M O O N S H A R D AMEN. Truetruetrue. Omg you totally put that into words perfectly.

[@lexierogers2590]

oh fuck i am in tears Dodie you are so intelligent and have the best way with words and you do not give yourself enough credit whatsoever. i would buy a million tickets to ride your bus

[@doddleoddle]

Lexie Rogerz UR ALREADY ON MY BUS xoxox

[@musicalcreamcake]

Same lol I would pay basically my life for a bus ticket

[@SixtySecondYoga]

Same I would do anything to meet her!

[@maisiekate4614]

+SixtySecond Yoga I literally are you EVERYWHERE!! hehe!

[@izzidfizzy]

I'm rewatching old dodie and it's so weird because she looks so hippy and her hair is so long but it's Dodie Ahhhh.

[@OfTheseDaydreams]

you getting your uke smashed totally reminds me of Harry Potter's Nimbus 2000 getting crushed in the whomping willow which is sad and OH NOW IM EMOTIONAL

[@doddleoddle]

OfTheseDaydreams OH YEAH

[@NerdyNarwhalLover]

I will not deny that I cried during this video.... multiple times...

[@cnd4484]

+ToasterOstriches I cried the entire video, for no good reason.

[@SAMoralesTP]

I came down here to like this comments or any comment like it

[@sincerelysophiax]

SAME

[@LaurenAquilinaMusic]

you are so great

[@LaurenAquilinaMusic]

i actually can't even deal with how unintentionally amazing this video it is. maybe its more unique to me because i've been in that exact tour world and stuff which is quite a weird thing to do anyway, but like i just related to everything you said like i've never related to anyone talking about this before? and also maybe i should just be texting you this or something but i feel like the world should know just HOW GR8 I THINK YOU R DODIE omg its like 2.23am wtf is going on ily goodnight xxx

[@doddleoddle]

LaurenAquilinaMusic ah lauren words will never describe how much i lUV u thank YOU for being just the bestest

[@dangerousaniimals]

JESUS YOUR HAIR WAS SO LONG

[@avengingechelon]

oh my god dodie I genuinely cried at the end. And I'm not a big crier, I could probably count on my fingers the amount of times something like this has moved me to tears. I'm so glad you're starting to feel better, and it can only go up from here. Thank you for introducing me to the bus metaphor- it made me realise that although I may be going over some bumpy roads at the moment I have a bus full of amazing and wonderful people to support me!

[@doddleoddle]

avengingechelon oh lovely!!! Thank you so much

[@N0WeyJose]

I had never cried over a burger in my life before

[@CrazyBeautifulLife58]

Appreciate your honesty and attempts to explain such difficult feellings. Especially being mental health awareness week and all. I've done some very similar explaining recently - I know how hard it is :)

[@doddleoddle]

CrazyBeautifulLife58 is it!!!? ey, this worked out well :) xx

[@CrazyBeautifulLife58]

doddleoddle Perfect timing! Shows we are 2 among many

[@mir3589]

this is now my favourite vlog of all time. of all youtube, really love you dodie and have a great burger/bus :)

[@hahong3167]

I totally understand the burger analogy. But I think that this goes for me as well as other people, but its like you spend the rest of your teenagehood trying to figure out which burger you want. You pick burgers after burgers and you keep sending them back because you don't like them. But the people around you suggest which burger that you should get and you try them out. All of your friends seem to be really happy with their burgers and your parents seem to order the same thing. You still don't know which one you want and once you finally figure out which burger you want, its time to leave the restaurant and they urge you to go to a, I don't know, Mexican restaurant. So you decide to take the burger out- to finish with other restaurants. And, yeah when you look back, you wish you kept the burgers. In the moment, the burger seemed really bland and gross but when you look back, it was the greatest burger you've ever tasted.

[@doddleoddle]

whoishahong DAMMIT WE SHOULD HAVE SOMETHING LESS EXPENSIVE

[@vaivaaaa]

whoishahong oh yeah, and if that burger is the best burger you've ever tasted but then you realize it wasn't even a really good burger after all? that's what i'm most afraid of. you hear people saying teenage years and high school years are the best days of your life and i sit here thinking what if i'm wasting my time and it will all just get even worse from here and what if in 5 or 10 years i don't even have anything to look back on? ugh scary stuff

[@ArielMcCleary]

I have been a Doddleoddle fan from Day 1. This is one of my favorite videos of yours. Sometimes I feel like my bus is empty too, like I have a really great juicy burger and I don't taste any of it... and I feel so bad because I SHOULD be enjoying it and I SHOULD be having as much of a good time as the people around me seem to be having. Well. This video gave me hope, Dodie. That 1. Other people (like me, all musical and naturally optimistic and wut not) feel this way, and not that it is normal... but at least I am not alone, 2. It's OK to go get a tattoo or do something spontaneous even if you always told yourself you'd never do it, and 3. Being happy depends not on the circumstance, but how you FEEL inside. And sometimes it's alright to jump on a bouncy house and goof off and have good clean innocent fun, and it's also alright to be in crowded sweaty venues playing music for hundreds of strangers. Anyway. I just wanted to tell you how much your videos mean to me. They are my bright spot. I follow your tweets and posts and vids because we are so similar, and your creativity and general "normal"ness (if that makes sense? Obviously you are not normal, but I mean you kind of are cus youre just feeling your way thru life like the rest of us) makes me happy and feel like I have something in common with someone else on my worst, most isolated days. Keep posting and creating. You are an inspiration without trying to be, and honestly that is the best kind.

[@comealongcaitlin]

Dodie, this was so raw and beautiful. You know theres an old saying, a tiny patch of blue sky is enough to make a sailor a pair of trousers. Odds are once you finally see that little bit of blue, the weather will fine up and the sun will slowly come out. Im so glad to see that you are slowly finding your little bit of blue sky on a cloudy day.

[@doddleoddle]

Caitlin F :D wow!

[@RustyClantonOfficial]

I enjoyed this so much, Dodie. You're such an exceptional person and when I watch anything you make I feel like a sponge soaking up all kinds of nutritious goodness. AND DAT PRETTY LADY AT 15:00 MADE MY HEART GO BOOM BOOM.

[@Cwiddy1812]

As many people have already said, that metaphor hit me hard. Today has just been utter crap, and so has the past few weeks/months/years honestly I've lost track of how long it's been but I've fallen into what I feel may be depression but I don't feel worthy of that title, as if I'm just overreacting and that 'I'm fine' (as I keep telling everyone). I don't think my bus has ever felt so empty, it just feel like I'm existing for the sake of existing and I find myself not wanting to commit suicide, because I'm too much of a coward, but hoping someone can just turn my existence off or let me skip this section of my life to the part where I can wake up on a Sunday in my own house with someone that I love and just be happy, but a big part of me feels that even if I did skip ahead, my life will never be as I hope it to be and that I will just be on this crappy bus ride alone for the rest of my life, driving past all these people on their buses who are happy and colourful and loved.

[@Kyle-mo7bd]

+Cwiddy1812 If you feel sad constantly but convince yourself that you're making something out of nothing, that is a problem. I know that you said that you think depression is a title you deem yourself unworthy of claiming, but just know that it is something that any of us can have, and you do not need outward justification. I'm not saying one should diagnose, but if you think you have depression, you're not thinking that for no good reason. If you need somebody to talk to, you may contact me if you want. I hope things lighten up for you in due time.

[@dishfishes]

This sounds so stupid but one day your gonna look back on this and think about how much you learned because of this experience. I know you really want to skip to the good parts of life, but atleast when things get bad again you'll have more experience to get through it. And you're not alone in that bus, lots of us are there right now. Together, we can grow and make it off the bus. Although this bus ride is terrible, know that it will, eventually end. Love ya ❤️

[@Bella-kr7bl]

I'm in a very similar situation

[@jessicam3555]

extremely important tips 1)force yourself to go out of the house to be around as many good people as you can all the time. do it right now. text someone and make plans for tomorrow, to do something or just talk 2)also talk to the person you feel most comfortable talking to about how you feel.

[@birdy5296]

I think this describes my situation very well right now... trapped in a constant state of in between, never really joyful, but never truly depressed.

[@TenEightyUK]

This was so gorgeous. Really nicely executed and touching through and through. One of the times we want to really genuinely thank you for sharing this with us.

[@doddleoddle]

TenEighty UK Love you guys

[@caitsf3474]

I can really relate to the feeling grey section of this video. I felt/ still feel like all of my life has been a grey patch and I've never been truly happy. For example: I went on a once in a life time trip to America last year and it was a really awesome thing and should have been amazing, but looking back on it, my brain doesn't let me feel that happiness about it and doesn't give me the butterflies of excitement inside. I felt really guilty about it because it cost a lot of money and there are so many people that aren't lucky enough to have this experience and forced myself to feel those emotions I thought I should be feeling, I sometimes I still do. But I have realised and keep on realising that this is just the way my brain works and it's not my fault. I can't do anything about it other than keep looking for those things in life that give me these emotions and make me feel truly happy

[@hartvideos6656]

Thanks dodie, now I'm less stressed and you actually made me realize that not every day has to be the best day but that even the simplest days can be the happiest. 😊

[@chrissietrappl1495]

I am currently feeling exactly like you right now: blank and colorless. I constantly feel like I need to either cry or scream do anything to try and get this feeling out of me and prove to myself that I still have emotions. Although I know my buss is not empty, I feel like I am sitting at the back row, all by myself and no one really knows I'm there because they haven't looked around to see me sitting in my own. Well, they must know I'm there because they saw me getting on the buss in the first place but after that the just, sort of forgot. This video is quite old now and by the looks of it you are, hopefully, better or at least getting better. Please can you tell me something, anything to give me some hope that one day soon, someone will turn around and see me sitting on the back seat. X

[@hinab.5132]

I know you are probably hoping for Dodie's answer but I'm sorry, it's just me. I just wanted to tell you that you're awesome and that you can do anything you want if you believe in yourself. And you are not alone. You are supported by everyone and we love you. Have a good day ❤

[@Stuckmeister99]

Watching this in 2021 because for me this is ✨nostalgia✨. Realizing I was 16 when I last watched this and living through what I thought would be the hardest part of my life (lol) has got me sobbing. Hahah. A mess. Also, I got a tattoo the day before I turned 20 for the exact same reason but I didn’t know where I had gotten the idea. I can’t believe that idea had been living in my brain subconsciously from this 5 year old video. I miss overdramatic 16 year old me that idolized Dodie. Still love you, Dodie.

[@doddleoddle]

🖤

[@zannahlu]

the burger analogy is so true it's the worst thing in the world ever and sometimes I can't even get to the point where the burger feels warm or looks good to me in any way but there are some days that break me out of it a little bit and your birthday was one of them it's one of the happiest times I've had in so long I don't think I've ever been surrounded by so many happy friendly people and getting to meet them and the fact that you seemed like you actually kinda were happy to see me idk man it was just the best time so thank you a lot a lot a lot for that sorry for the long comment idk it's almost 1am thank you sorry bye

[@doddleoddle]

NotJustBlonde oh zAAANNNAAHHHHH I adore you so much! Thank you for keeping my sane on that crazy crazy day

[@bryysabel9969]

aww this video is great💜 I love u Dodie, and ik , depression is hard and can't go away easy. it sticks like glue. it feels like ur drowning and there's no one to save you. it feels like ur in a corn maze trying to find a way out but you can't seem to find a way out. it sucks. especially when ur as young as I. We just need to stay strong,and things WILL be okay💋

[@Chleo1301]

I'm not crying, you are.

[@springwaterblossom]

I could just replay that ending forever oml- dodie you're so amazing. you are loved by so many people and are such a big inspiration to almost everyone you meet. you're talented, compassionate, so endearing and you just give off one of the most calm, positive energy. please never stop doing what you're doing- you're one of the best people ever and I know I'm only one small person out of the entire world but I love you dodie, you're truly someone to admire and look up to

[@Livvy004]

I appreciate you're ability to be vulnerable to help the community with an issue such as depression. It is difficult to articulate and so is misconstrued, people avoid discussing it as a result. But using your platform to raise awareness on personal issues is brave and so I just wanted to say, Thank you xx

[@doddleoddle]

Olivia Mitchell :)

[@imagineag35]

after hearing youve been privatizing some vloggle videos, i immediately came to check on this one. this video means a lot to me; it really started my journey of understanding my own mental health and it plays in the back of my head to this day. of course, i completely get if this isnt one youre comfortable leaving up, i just wanted to let you know how important it was/is to me and to thank you for making it. all the best to you:)

[@emilypickup6927]

I have to get up for my exams in 5 hours, and I'm sat here crying my eyes out. I find it so hard to explain what's going on in my brain sometimes, and it scares me when people find those words and I relate to them. It makes everything seem so much more real. I'm terrified I'm not going to find my ladder, because every time I think I'm getting better, it gets so much worse. I'm just glad I have someone as brave and amazing as you to look up to

[@doddleoddle]

Emily Pickup TRUST ME you will find a ladder!!!! if it's been a while and you can't find it please oh please book an appointment, reach out to someone my friends helped me back up, but don't you dare stop until you find someone else who can help you! xxx

[@emilypickup6927]

I've tried Dodie, I've spoken to friends, I've seen counselors, nothing helps and inevitably I end up feeling worse because of it. Maybe I'm just one of those people destined to not be happy.

[@Jakemisterful]

Emily Pickup It may not mean much, but I saw this and had to say, that I have not so long ago felt EXACTLY how you feel. It seems endless, it's so tiring, and it is so dark. But things can change so quickly, and you can feel good again. Find someone, anyone, anywhere that understands you, and talk to them. In life, on the internet, even if it's in your head for now! Talk it through with someone who gets it. And good luck.

[@emilyxxx1418]

Just know that it will get better. Keep pushing through. Try not to think in 'nevers' - try to change it to an if or a when. If you feel lonely on your bus, know that there are a million and one other people who know how you feel. They might be strangers, but they could be that person on the bus who gives up their seat because you look tired and that you should sit down. One of the best things about KZbin is that there is a huge community of people who you don't necessarily know, but are ready and willing to help you if ever you need it. Stay strong.

[@sincerelysophiax]

JESUS CHRIST when the sad piano music started playing and you started explaining how your brain hasn't been working properly and when the depression hits you and you start crying it made me start crying too DAMNIT. I love you so so much dodie and it physically pains me to see you be immensely depressed and sad i wish it would just go away damnit you don't deserve any of this i wish you the best and i really REALLY more than anything want you to feel that genuine happiness all the time D: xxxx

[@sophiechapman1177]

I always imagine I have fairy lights in my heart. Recently, they have been flickering. I was waiting for the moment I would lose my temper, say something silly, for the fuses in the bulbs to blow; you have just switched the fairy lights on. They are shining with happiness and pride for you. Keep it up Dodie. Let the fairy lights shine on x

[@abbeymckennall3134]

gosh thank you so so much. years in the past and your videos still make me cry. please never stop doing this, your videos really help me to figure out my depression and all that comes with it. I love you and wish you the best x

[@jamiedaly6793]

This was so ridiculously beautiful and heart-warming because it just felt so real. You're amazing, and I'm sorry you've had to go through all the shit that you've felt for the last few years. I'm sorry for everyone who has. Hell, everyone goes through shit, and there's no way around it, it's shit. So so glad you feel more optimistic now. I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through all this but also have so many people who love you but also rely on you. It must be tough being so amazing to all of us, but then being stuck with feeling shitty the moment you end the video. I just want you to know that we all love you, and I think you're amazing for being so open with us. It will help so many people. And if there's one thing I've learned in my 19 years hanging around this planet, is that there's nothing better than helping others. For them and for you. So much love sent your way :) xxx

[@doddleoddle]

Jamie Daly :) thank you thank you

[@jamiedaly6793]

doddleoddle you're so very welcome :)

[@elharvey98]

I've never had depression and every day I appreciate that. However even for someone who has never experienced that kind of feeling over such a stretch of time I found that this still struck a chord with me. Perhaps its because I have seen people go through depression and overcome it, and I think that that is one of the most inspiring and beautiful things to witness. To see a persons strength and drive to overcome something like depression is truly humbling, so Dodie your video both humbled me and brought me to tears.

[@nisargaramesh3010]

Frankly, I cannot say I can relate to this video because I am very inexperienced when it comes to life. But I seriously fucking love this video so much. And I have to say Dodie, you're one of my favorite youtubers because you do things like this. It's not like you're sharing your entire life or something but you're showing your viewers things that really do help them through the tough times and it's just really nice. I don't know it just makes you seem more like a real person than just a normal, plastered on smile youtuber. I don't really have much of a point, but this video is important. It's really bloody important.

[@renonnib3395]

you are super brave for making this video. It was info you didn't have to tell us but chose to. And I hugely appreciate that. :) I'm working in mental health nursing at the moment and I know how hard depression can be. Good on you for pushing through

[@MargotVandersmissen]

I reallyreallyreally need to go to bed so I can't watch this BUT I did read your little letter in the description and like honestly how dare you make me tear up like that? No but seriously, you're such a great human and I can't wait to watch this first thing tomorrow morning because you are greatgreatgreat

[@mothcub]

Margot Vandersmissen Hi Margot :-)

[@doddleoddle]

Margot Vandersmissen sleeeeeep indeed! thank you for reading the letter :D I hope you like it tomorrow!

[@MargotVandersmissen]

doddleoddle HELLO update I just watched the video and honestly you're one of my favourite creators on this entire website and this video was GREAT, I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better!

[@brooke5951]

to this day, this is one of my favorite videos on the internet. i always come back to it when i need it. dodie, you're wonderful.

[@normallystrange]

I feel so happy and tingly and asdfwjbjsdglkv Thank you, Dodie :)

[@doddleoddle]

***** :))

[@thecmn8129]

Your metaphors make so much sense to me. I've had pretty bad depression for a few years now and I'm slowly starting to feel better about life and myself again. Your videos are always so cute and make me smile and I'm glad you felt brave enough to share this part of yourself with so many people. I hope you continue to go in a positive direction and be the smiley happy Dodie you deserve to be

[@TheDaisyForce]

I had never seen a video that had made me feel like I was so connected to someone until I watched this. I honestly felt like I've known you for years. Your ups and downs and everything in between. You are an absolutely amazing and inspiring woman. Might I mention that I play the uke because of you?! You are beautiful, intelligent, kind, and talented. I know a few words from someone you've never met won't make depression go away, but I have hope it will help you feel better. Keep on doing amazing things Dodie! I hope that one day I'll be able to meet you and give you the biggest hug that I've ever given anyone, not only because I'll be over the moon excited to see you, but also as a thank you, for being there for me, even though you don't know me. Love ya!!

[@TheDaisyForce]

Omg I just found this comment again and it actually made me tear up. Little did I know I'd actually meet you a month after I posted that, and give you a huge hug and tell you how much you mean to me, and even get your signature and a few pictures. Thank you Dodie for being such a gem of a human being ❤️

[@jellymelly99]

I came back to this video having watched it 6 years ago . I remember crying and it bringing me so much comfort. Thanks Dodie 🥰

[@sorcerieie]

omg when u danced it was so fucking cute????? im dead and gay

[@JS-dx8pj]

bahahahah :D

[@sorcerieie]

+Kathy Paw bud me too lmao

[@Jewels1357]

Me af.

[@clarecostello3482]

"i'm dead and gay" me too ???????

[@amandabrissett1993]

eve • lol. "I'm dead and gay".

[@kincaid.]

i've been binge watching all your videos, and it's been a bit of a rough time for me. it's a kind of sadness, but i don't quite think it's depression. i've seen descriptions of what it is for other people, and one of the ones that struck out to me, was "It's as if the world is so grey that you can't breathe." but that's not what it is for me. for me, it's like i'm colorblind. and sometimes i have those glasses that fix it, but other time's i'll sit and stare at a door just wanting to think about something, but my mind is blank. or i'll stare at my lights until they start to blur because i want to see that not all change is bad. but i don't know if it's depression or just my head.

[@redalert99]

Oh Dodie this made me cry I love you so much and am glad to be on your bus xxx

[@doddleoddle]

redalert BEA I TOLD YOU TO SLEEP ( I love you )

[@redalert99]

(love you) xx

[@Midnightslooks]

My dearest Dodie, I've seen this video about a hundred times & in May I was able to write a song with someone I love a lot. That song is called "life is a bus ride" because I've never been more inspired than by this beautiful video. I know the feeling you're describing & I feel like I need to say thank you. So thank you Dodie for hopefully not getting off my bus any time soon. X

[@elishasummers9517]

Any one else thinking about "the incident" when she jumped down from the hotel bunk bed? 1:03

[@sruthidinesh3173]

what is it???

[@elishasummers9517]

+Anamika Mahesj recently she sprained her ankle jumping down from her loft bed, she passed out from the pain and when she got to the hospital they didn't even give her a splint to put it in or crutches

[@h3c0x]

this video was posted before she fell off the bed :)

[@guillerminathomas1586]

I'm watching this again because I need it, you described my last 8 months perfectly, I've been a mess and I get angry at myself for it because my life is amazing and everything is fine, but my brain keeps telling me that's not. A few days ago I started to see hope in things and have really amazing days with friends, and I hope that those feelings came to stay. I'm here with you Dodie, thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone

[@OhItsJustKim]

I like sitting at the back of your bus and singing 3 part harmonies with you. Maybe one day we'll find more than one song. EH EEEHH??? Lovely to see this in full. Very happy for dodester

[@sammyroyer6416]

Reading the last two lines of that description was a real eye opener. Thank you dodie. You are truly an amazing human.

[@eliss4674]

love you dodie. never lose hope bab

[@hatzilla6549]

Dodie thank you for this video. I really relate to what you're going through and I'm in a big deep dark hole right now. But this video has made me feel a bit better knowing I'm not alone in this blank tasteless world. You're really brave and strong for telling all of us what you're going through and it gives me hope. maybe I'll be able to get over the fear of telling others about this hole I'm in and being abandoned . You really do touch peoples lives with your words and songs and I want you to know that you are amazing and I love you. You are truly inspiring

[@arianearghyris]

Genuinely cried there reading your letter in the description box. This video is amazing and I feel you, depression is really aweful and difficult. :( I've been so down lately that even my body started reacting strangely, my period stopped and I'm crying and having panic attacks all the time... Even though supposedly everything is fine. I'm 20, I study music, I'm co-directing and starring in an amazing musical, I'm going to Canada next year.. But I just can't seem to have my brain working. :( Thanks for this video

[@hannahodonnell2490]

watched this again in the morning and cried my eyes out

[@idkimbeth]

It's so crazy watching this video back. I still relate to this so much and I think it really links to both depression and depersonalisation. This is exactly how I'm currently feeling about comic con, and I'm so scared because I want to enjoy it so much. This burger analogy explains my head very well, as do most of your analogies. I just wanna say, thank you for helping explain my own brain as well in addition to your own. You've helped me understand myself more, and become slightly more comfortable with what is actually possibly wrong with me. You've gr9 Dodie!

[@MsKsenia16]

this made me feel. feel a lot, A LOT, of things. first, i wanted to scream and burst into tears because I've been feeling EXACTLY the same lately and it's so relieving to know that I'm not alone in this. then I started feeling sad because of your uke and everything that you had to deal with, but in a second I started feeling very proud and happy because you managed to pull through. it takes a fuck tone of courage and strength so hats off to you, mademoiselle. and now, I feel incredibly content. it's like all the little annoying thoughts in my head that are constantly buzzing about exams and life choices and problems with my family and my friends turning into people I can't talk to anymore just shut up. and I can breathe and think and tell myself I'll be okay. and this is very important and much needed. so, even if you (most definitely) eon't read this, I wanted to say thank you. thank you so much. you are amazing. keep going and never give up, no matter what happens in that bus. xx

[@YourFriendRae]

i love you so much dodie, i feel the same way a lot of the time and this made me feel less alone about it, thank you for making this video.

[@YourFriendRae]

I'm having the worst experience of empty bus right now so I rewatched this. I don't really know what to do anymore it has been like this for the longest time and I don't see myself feeling normal or even happy any time soon. I am just not capable of filling my own bus. NEW ANALOGY i feel like life is like trying the beanboozled challenge (BEAR WITH ME), you don't know whether you'll get the nice tasting bean or the gross tasting one and everyone around you tells you that its worth playing for the few good ones you might come across but your luck sucks and you have a chain of bad tasting ones and for you its better not to even play the game at all, its not worth it.

[@JennaDolphin]

I love your videos so much! I hope you feel better soon

[@gh0stcup]

I've just realised watching that I have been going through depression for 4 years now. That's 1/5 of my life so far and it's horrible. It's just one of those things that affects everything I do now. I have no motivation to try doing the things I need to do just to get by, let alone the things I want to do, like starting a channel of my own here. I try to enjoy the little things and spend time with my friends when I feel mentally able to, which is becoming less and less as time goes on. I guess this video has shown me that it genuinely does get better. Dodie, thank you for the songs you've written and your honesty about life. Thank you for the times I've met you and you've just been really kind. Thank you for this video. Than you for everything. If my brain was working correctly I'd probably be crying right now tbh

[@corinelontoc6730]

Wow I remember first watching this when it came out I was 13, almost 14 years old. Now I’m 19, turning 20 like dodie in this video. Didn’t think I would make it this far but I’m so glad I did

[@Megzerz96]

The honesty in this video, Dodie, was immense. You constantly amaze me (and I'm sure many others will agree) on how you explain the feeling you get when one goes into a depression. You *get* it. You allow other people to *get* it. Usually, I see people just bottle these things up and let it get the better of them. But with you having posted this video, you're telling people, as alone they may feel, they're not. :) Oh man. I just wanna give you a hugemongoose hug, right now! x

[@isobeldixon6933]

On another note, I've been going through much the same thing and have recently had to start going to a therapist for panic attacks and all that crap and she's just making me feel worse 😔

[@doddleoddle]

Isobel Dixon keep going until you find someone who works for you

[@thebeatlesrsocool]

I try not to define my emotions so much by using the words of others but that burger metaphor and pretty much everything you said in this video was hard hitting as hell. I really cannot stress enough how vastly I appreciate your vulnerability.

[@RachelMiazza]

i periodically come back and watch this video i just love it so much

[@estevanherrera6212]

just found out about Dodie about a week ago and not only could relate to all the lyrics she sings about, but am genuinely proud of how much progress and obstacles she's overcome. DODIE YOU'RE WONDERFUL!

[@qwertzuiopasdfghjklyxcvbnm6670]

I love how honest you are

[@KatAndTheMat]

the bit where you showed you guys walking around near the london eye and sneaking into the park filled me with this great sense of like, fantastical adventure. i don't know how to describe it really, i just know i've had that feeling myself whenever me and my friends would find ourselves getting into things and just being young and carefree and whimsical. as someone who suffered from depression and depersonalization in the past, those were the times that were just so emotionally healing, like big bright spots of light shining in through the clouds. it made life interesting; adventurous. even though this was over two years ago, i'm glad you got to experience something like that. once you feel that kind of light, it's always there in your memory, even if it's toned with sadness from nostalgia. you can recognize how amazing that time was while it happened and appreciate it for all it was. i'm only 22 but i feel like that sense of youth i had at 19/20 is gone. it was such a special time for growth and i'm hoping to get that feeling again someday soon.

[@theflowergodleanne]

oh my lorddd dodie noo u sweet little fluffy donut

[@LaGleek320]

The ending really got to me and I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up. Thank you dodie for being so open and also I'm just genuinely so happy that you're starting to get back on your own two feet. There's nothing that makes me happier than when the people who make me feel better are getting better themselves. You've gone through so much and you aren't finished yet but you figuring this all out seems to be working well.

[@lailakirkham6886]

i have severe anxiety. i live my life in constant fear and forever looking over my shoulder. i avoid anything that makes me feel worried and seeing you social and really talkative to people, i envy you so much. i know there isn't anything you can do to help me or give me advice but i would like to ask you if you could, in anyway, advice me to be social despite of my social and general anxiety

[@niaardez156]

Oh dodie this literally hits me so hard i've been having such a rough rough time and seeing people like you and how you get through things calms me down so so much. People like you are such great things in this world, you serve as a reminder that no matter what things will get atleast a little bit better. Thank you, thank you for being here

[@Matoustar]

OKAY I'M GONNA SLEEP NOW BUT I HAVE TEARS DOWN MY EYES I LOVE YOU

[@brendanmccourt818]

this video really made me stop and smile so much, life isnt always smiley, some times you've gotta try to really push through the things that are holding you back and everyone who does that needs to recognize how great they are for doing so, and everyone who's struggling right now or in a weeks time, you're stronger than you think, however small or big the steps you take you're doing better than you once were, thank you so much Dodie, I hope you have a great day whether or not you see this

[@adumbbbbbb]

stayed up for this even though I've got exams, I'm dedicated... hahaha

[@BootleBox]

d0ntlookup with you on that!

[@doddleoddle]

Bootle Box. ahhh gang go to sleep! :'D

[@carothewholeowl1672]

This is beautiful. The way she tells her story, how she felt and changed her view on situations (etc), everything about it is worth watching it again and again. I could write so much more.. but I shut up now. (I know she won't read this, but still: ) Thank you for sharing that part of your journey with us. :)

[@BonnieLeigh]

this video made me laugh and cry and it was brilliant! I loved every moment of watching it, so thanks for being so honest

[@doddleoddle]

Bonnie Leigh // TeenyLittleBirds :)!!

[@wartygourd]

i forgot that i watched this video in its entirety and while watching it I realized that i did but I NEEDED TO SEE IT AGAIN. reading the description made me tear up (i would cry but i feel weak when i cry so my brain programmed itself not to do that. im overly self conscious BUT ANYWAY) because I'm getting out of this cave to see the sun. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA TALKING ABOUT DEPRESSION AND MENTAL ILLNESS STUFF IS WEIRD BUT I LOVE THAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING THAT MORE OFTEN AND IT COMFORTS ME KNOWING THAT YOU (someone who travels and sings and makes music and videos for a living while having great friends) CAN STILL FEEL THESE THINGS. sorry for typing in all caps, i just wanted to let u know that u inspire me to talk about my mental illness and are one of the ppl who help me embrace my true self. thank you dodie

[@luciamckenna9901]

I missed you in Dublin!!!!!! Sorry!!!! I am crying literally😭

[@emmarushfirth2027]

Dodie I am feeling exactly the same way right now and I really don't know what to do. It feels as if all my friends are happy but I am sad and it is not even about anything in particular. I really don't know what to do and I am so confused about it all. Glad you are feeling better. Watching your videos is the only bit of happiness I get in a day. Thank you so much for the little bit of sunshine you share that helps me to get up in the morning

[@LibbyLumos]

I'm glad you're starting to feel better, lovely. and I'm glad you bus is full ^_^ I love you lots and lot and lots also the adventure time piano is so so so cute I don't know what else to say. I'm so proud of how far you've come also #chibby (you cutie)

[@Fanny-sf9je]

i'm in tears like literally, i always feel like i can't enjoy the moment or i can't be happy, you resumed my life in the 2 last minutes of your video. I'd like to buy a ticket to get on your bus forever, to support you no matter what because you make me feel happy and i can't thank you enough. Love you so much and thank you

[@annie-4984]

I wish this dodie could see 2020 dodie

[@gabriellelouiseholt8555]

I just went through so many emotions in such a short space of time gaaahhhh. Thank you for being so honest. You are wonderful and although I could feel your pain whilst watching that, I'm so glad that you're beginning to find your way back out of the hole. I think I am too, slowly, after 7 or so years. It's so refreshing. Keep going, fill that bus, and if anyone else gets off, remember that just leaves space for someone else to get on at the next stop xxx

[@daviedarling]

oh man I really love you

[@doddleoddle]

Hannah Penner oh man xxxxxx

[@LivingintheNeverlands]

For some reason it felt so good when you talked about depression and that you actually started feeling again, and had some really good days. It gives me hope for my own future! Thank you dodie!!!! I hope you are well! I love you!

[@thefreakingwhalerebellion1596]

She's so small. I want to hug her.

[@kirstydotmckean]

cant stop watching this video. i really find it difficult to explain what's happening in my damn brain and the way this whole video just flows together gives me a sense of security (ik that sounds super weird bc it's just a video but yeah...) thank you for everything dodie ^-^