My Brother-In-Law's Husband Is Saying Awful Things To Me Behind EVERYONES Backs r/Relationships

[@My9thMyJoy]

Story 1: leave. Husband’s reaction to seeing the phone the chat was to ask her how long she’d allowed brother in law to send her stuff like this. He framed it as her fault by default.

[@Takisan111]

Plus now he's being distant from her. He outed her secret, his family are ganging up on her, and he's doing nothing.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

wel he can see on the chat that she doesn't rub her beeing female in his face. it is a patern, so maybe bil husband is hetrofoob.

[@jbrennan381]

Or maybe....talk to him about it? You don't have to just leave a marriage after one comment that isn't kind. You'll never have a relationship if you're response to someone slighting you even slightly is "leave."

[@marshawargo7238]

Funny nobody suggested that SIL got treated the same way! He turned everything around in her situation as he did OP! OP & SIL should get together & take him out! I wonder if BIL believed his wife or is he too siding with his family like OP's husband seems to be doing?

[@andrediamond4374]

How could she? He's avoiding her. It's pointless, the fact that he started to turn is a betrayal of her trust. What's a marraige worth if you can't back up your spouse?​

[@moonlightauras1]

There is clearly a pattern of the BIL alienating the women who marry into the family and it's so wild that the family can't see that. He's clearly doing things to specifically antagonize these women and than weaponizes his queerness to gain more control and protection. I feel like this story will have more updates in the future.

[@averycheesypotato]

Seems like it specifically relates to when they have kids. He’s jealous, but instead accuses the new moms of “flaunting” their children. With that attitude he really isn’t ready to be a parent anyway, but that pattern needs to stop

[@jacearmor5274]

Honestly, with his behavior, he shouldn't have kids. Y'know those stories where homophobic parents kick their kids out when they come out? I wouldn't be surprised if he did the same if his kids were straight.

[@ynmonroe]

I also think it's crazy that the two women have let this family restrict them this way. They can't even stand up for themselves without facing accusations and ostracization. OP was scared to speak up just because of this very thing. Plus, she said her husband is now treating her differently. I personally would go off. I have a thing against people falsely accusing others and then being judge and jury. This family is clearly ignoring the common denominator in all of these conflicts. You can't tell me that these issues are limited to the two SILs. I'm sure other women who aren't bigots have had the same issues with the BIL. Not once did OP say that she used to have the same mindset as her family. Also, these people have known her since was a teen. Why are they so quick to make her the AH in this situation?

[@PIZA5039]

As a lesbian, the amount of misogyny I have seen/experienced from gay men is RIDICULOUS! Being queer does not automatically make a man a good ally to women. It’s so sad

[@nataliereeves3594]

How long before he starts targeting the woman/female kids born into the family? He sounds like a wouman hater and accuses them of being homaphobic to push them out.

[@owl7072]

"You're overreacting. It's been two months." Spend nine months making a whole human inside you then push that shit out and tell us how you're feeling by the time you expect Op to be better.

[@kristinicole2055]

Literally

[@MimosaRose]

That is such a misogynistic comment too. It sounds like he likes to stir the pot. He wants drama and I want to know why. I bet the other SIL didn’t do anything wrong and he is on the next victim.

[@ZombieSazza]

Weaponising homophobia is in this way is genuinely disgusting, I say this as a homosexual, we don’t get to weaponise who we are just to harass someone. This man is very clearly sexist, his issues are with woman and he’s more than happy to harass women and get his family to hound them. None of the women he’s harassed have cared that he’s gay, but they are being silenced by his family and unfairly judged because he’s toxic, they refuse to let them present evidence to prove their innocence. I’d be going scorched earth personally, I’d be posting screenshots online and making a LONG post about his previous actions and current behaviour towards OP, explaining that his sexuality has nothing to do with anything, the issue is his very clear sexism. Who TF sends a woman a message with an article about “men are likely to cheat on their partner who just gave birth”, he then tells his family “she said I was less of a man.” It’s very clear he feels inadequate or is jealous and is taking it out on any woman married into the family who’s had a child, and his family are so blind to his behaviour OR they just don’t care. Either way, OP deserves so much better, she deserves a husband who actually stands up for her and believes her, she doesn’t deserve being harassed by everyone because of one jealous man. Gays like him disgust me, we don’t get to weaponise homophobia like that Sir, he needs to actually take a long walk off a pier, just disgusting.

[@bunnyslippers191]

A friend of mine who passed away of a heart attack over 30 years ago, used to say, "There's assholes in every walk of life." A certain part of the population is made up of assholes and assholery crosses all ethnic, gender, and sexuality boundaries. I know two gay men who are not welcome in my home because they are assholes, at least 10 straight cis men who aren't welcome in my house and several straight cis women who aren't. So far I've had good luck with the trans people I've met, but if I meet a trans person who's an asshole they won't be welcome, either.

[@kristinicole2055]

Oh yea 😂 anytime someone does something crazy to me I’m like “keep playin’ and imma send you to gen z.” 👀 TikTok doesn’t play these games 😂😂😂

[@StormFreeze]

I had someone constantly accusing me of attacking them for being gay and cried homophobia. They then threatened suicide when I called them out for it and pointed out that I'm les. People who weaponize are absolutely insane

[@tashacooper1753]

This brother in law is evil

[@paulastiles5507]

Very evil. Unfortunately, some gay men are extremely misogynistic, including to gay and trans women. The family collectively sounds very dysfunctional and in denial about their own misogyny. OP needs to team up with the SIL and bail on this dumpster fire.

[@LunaP1]

He's either heterophobic or hates women to an unhinged degree. Either way, he's 200% evil.

[@Azulakayes]

He is a misogynist. That's why I am very cautious about blanket support for any group of people. Just because some was bullied in the past, doesnt mean they are not psychotic bullies too. OP better run, this man has manipulated the whole family and she is endangering her child by being near him. She better follow SIL's footsteps and protect herself and her child because no one in that snivelling family will protect her and her husband is a coward.

[@dogeman5584]

​@@paulastiles5507 im a gay dude and i hate when people do that treat everyone equal like they deserve

[@ronhall5395]

He is weapon using his gayness. He can bully her all he wants, if she complains it become a homophobic situation and he screams foul. This makes her the bad person. Just as it did the SIL. Dude flat out hates women. He would love to see her marriage dissolve.

[@averycheesypotato]

OP in the first story should maybe reach out to the outcast SIL. Seems the BiL has a history of harassing any woman in the family who has recently given birth

[@geminiblue]

BIL is jealous & probably sees himself as less family than the women cuz the women were able to make biological links with the family & therefore is seen as more "legitimate".

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

Story 1: Unfortunately, there are people out there who will abuse their marginalized status to be assholes, and people who are blinded by feeling sorry for them that they'll act as their enablers and flying monkeys. It's something to be careful about. Kind of frustrated how OP didn't take the advice to record him though, she kind of just walked straight into his trap.

[@blueraven3663]

Well depending on where op lives it might not be legal to record voices without telling the other person/ask for consent. And even if she could it might have turned bad for op. If she showed the recording instead of listening to what it has on it others would focus on why she recorded in the first place. That it was a obvious sign of homophobia because she didn't trust bil

[@jboy804]

And that's a potential rage-bait story for you. Just enhances the worst of your pre-conceived notions. Muddies the water where you may not believe the next story of hemophobia.

[@ginathecookie]

​@@blueraven3663worth it, though. Even with the legal trouble. It's better to have the proof to protect yourself. Although yes everyone should check their area's laws beforehand. And most places have a exception for "if you fear for your safety." For a lot of laws (my state has this for recordings). Loss of sanity and one's family can be included in that. I tbh only record when I feel unsafe whether sanity (as in actual gaslighting - happened once in my own home) or bc my neighbours are in a veryy loud fight (re: screaming match with things breaking) veryy close to my door. On one hand (as in it's barely happened at all) I've recorded someone other than me only a few times and rarely are they ever shared with others. So yes it's a thing but safety is important too.

[@srg24601]

Exactly this. When I was in college I had a stalker. I tried getting help but every time a teacher, security guard or officer came around he played up his autism. He stalked me until he found out my grandpas's home phone number so he could call me and leave creepy messages on the machine. He found out a bunch of personal information about me (birthday, home address, grades, schedule, etc) because some of the security guards thought it was "so cute he has a little crush" and that I was being bigotted for reacting so negatively so they *shared my information.* At first I also thought he just didn't know better (his excuse every time he was called out) until one day I was telling him to stop trapping me against the wall when we were in an empty hallway and he said if I tried to get away or tell anyone he'd say I called him the r slur and get me kicked out. It was terrifying having to go to school every day and be told I didn't need help even as I had bruises from him grabbing me and trying to drag me off to be alone. Eventually I found one guard who actually believed me and made enough friends to never have to travel to class alone, but I'll never forget the feeling of trying to get help and being told I was the problem for being so closed minded

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

@@blueraven3663 That's only really a problem if he plans on actually taking it all the way to court. If OP just recorded it to share with family and then deleted it once she got their reactions, it probably would have never amounted to anything.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

OP should start screaming and calling the BIL’s husband a sexist pig, her family in law seem to side with whoever can whine the loudest instead of being rational. I mean, what are the chances that the two brothers married both married women that are apparently homophobic?

[@AngelaMerici12]

If she start to do that they'll paint her as histerical. I think she should go low contact and just keep contact with friends and those who actually support her.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

Oh yeah my family started to take me seriously when I started complaining louder than the drama goblins 😂

[@GMAMEC]

OP has a husband problem. This isn’t the first problem. Before posting this story, OP was seeking advice because the husband called her ugly. He is playing games.

[@AngelaMerici12]

@@GMAMEC Wow. Poor OP.

[@slick8086]

no she should start recording this shit and SHOW everyone that he is a sexist pig.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - I know OP is - or was - trying to keep the piece, but the first time BIL's husband started in on me, my voice would have risen to a shout , "What the hell did you just say to me?" and repeat whatever vile drivel he was spouting. And do it every time. That or pull out the phone and be very obvious about hitting record the second he approached. This man has an inferiority complex and is taking it out on anyone who doesn't go along with his crap. Hey, OP and hubby can get together with his sister and her family and invite others to join as BIL's toxic hubby chases them all away. Maybe then folks will realize who the real problem is!

[@MaryTheresa1986]

If OP's hubby doesn't get his 💩 together I think she should file for divorce and let him play thrupple with his brother and BIL.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

BIL is sneaky and doing it when nobody is around to see his attitude, so the only way she’s gonna expose him is to record their interactions

[@ginathecookie]

​@@MaryTheresa1986agreed Marriage doesn't bode well if he keeps believing his family pver her, the victim. I sympathise as its hsrd bc its family and I do wish she had recorded proof to help him (and her) but spouses are a team. Trust is needed.

[@JoJoGranum]

I feel bad for OP because while BIL’s husband has been bullied, BIL’s husband has now turned into the bully himself. It’s seriously pathetic that this has been going on for

[@juliemcgugan1244]

He's probably got the mentality of, "Everyone was mean to me, so I'm going to turn them into the victim, before they can do anything to me." He is highly sensitive to slights and accusations, even when they are not really there and just in his imagination and when somebody has something he wants, that makes them the focus of the family, he moves in to destroy their bond with the family, so attention can be put back on himself.

[@sadtitties222]

​@@juliemcgugan1244 Perfectly put! 👏

[@michal31131]

He's a narc

[@JoJoGranum]

@@juliemcgugan1244 well put. And you’re likely right . In that mentality he probably has the “everyone owes me.”

[@davidlionheart2438]

I don't feel bad for her. She was too stupid to record him.

[@deifieddata4462]

The only way to handle "family member treats you like shit and hides it from everyone else" scenarios is to get rock solid proof and circulate it to the family first. She let the situation get away from her. When dealing with psychopaths you need to act like one.

[@deusdamnit]

The problem in this scenario is that this guy is a misogynist who has spent his life being enabled by the family. They've essentially been bought into the lie from day 1, and just fed into the cycle of manipulation by feeding his ego every time he tells a lie. This is an unwinnable scenario. The fog is thicker than water and blacker than ink, the only way out is to be forcibly pulled away, and it's hard to do that if someone is resisting. These cycles always feed back into themselves, and everyone in the fog ends up drowning.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

​@@deusdamnitYeah exactly. This guy's behavior is a slap in the face to every person who has ever had to suffer and experience real phobia. Unfortunately he isn't the only one who does this. And it's become so common that its flipped the other way in a lot of places. Where the minority harasses and discriminates against anyone who doesn't believe the way they believe or who they just don't like. A lot of people hide the fact they are religious because of the severe discrimination they will get. Everyone assumes they're evil and hateful just because they're religious. It's the hypocrisy that bothers me the most. No doubt brother-in-law has been through real phobia but then he turns around and wields it like a weapon and everyone in the family just believed him because of their bias and hate against anyone who even grew up religious they don't even have to be religious themselves.

[@JW-vd4il]

​@@WhitneyDahlin This stinks all around. Because it also bothers me that OP seems to not have stood up for her SIL. She needs to take a lesson: If you want to stand by when other people are unfairly attacked, they won't be around to defend you when it's your turn in the bully's line of fire. As bad as I feel for OP now, she didn't care until the attack is at her directly?

[@jaydee_0079]

She went for the Economy Approach instead of building up the evidence. She knew what the family would do in order to avoid the 'stigma' of being a rational person and believing what is true, so it's on her that she tried a halfway measure and it didn't work. Now even having proof won't help as he's justified in his misogyny due to her homophobic attitudes.

[@sachxtrem]

​@@LostSoulchild89Everyone hates her in the end anyway. This is what complacency gets you.

[@albertgongora6944]

I'm not going to lie I was not satisfied with the update to that first story because the fact that the husband is starting to act weird towards the original poster now I clearly taking the person in the wrong side she's better off just divorcing this man and keeping her kids away from this terrible family dynamic where they're enabling you know this other person's bad behavior all because they don't want to be accused of being homophobic

[@nataliereeves3594]

Record everything she can and use it in court to keep the kids away from that family. It won't be till they lose everything that they will learn. Maybe airing their dirty laundry in public will open their eyes. I'm also wondering whether there ever was homaphobia directed at him or if he made it up for sympathy and attention, which later evolved into manipulation.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Exactly. She needs to file for divorce and sole custody of her daughter, as well as ban BIL and the rest of the extended family, sans SIL, from being around her baby.

[@CatLadyElegy]

I’m sure there will be another update. That can’t be the end.

[@kaidrazarc8000]

​@@MaryTheresa1986exactly this especially while the child is so young the courts will give full custody & if possible actually antagonise the BIL husband while recording, it will be scary but she needs proof of him being aggressive to get a restraining order If that doesn't open her husband's eyes then the active restraining order will make it difficult that family to ever be near her daughter

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Knowing how the situation went down with her hubby's older brother's wife, OP should have gotten as much incriminating evidence by recording her BIL. Not saying that these deluded idiots would have then believed her, but she might have had a chance. But somebody in the future will expose this AH. She is not the last person who he will do this to. He is insecure and as soon as somebody triggers him, he will lash out and do something that they will not tolerate and then they will expose him. But I believe that OP is better off without them in her life. Sad that her husband may be swayed to their way of thinking.

[@chaosshiva4165]

Why do some people gotta be nasty? Why open his mouth? Stirring drama? Maybe he just doesn’t like women? Who knows? Not OPs problem.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Jealousy. I bet that the other SIL who got kicked out of this toxic family had something that the BIL was jealous of. Whether it was a child or something else. And I bet that there will be somebody else in the future that he tries this with and they do not tolerate it. They will bring this a-hole down. Then the whole family will be wondering why their two DILs refuse to forgive them.

[@jakemarie828]

Narcissistic people use others to regulate their uncomfortable feelings, in this case jealousy and inadequacy. They need a scapegoat to feel superior to. The fact that the husband chooses new mothers in the family to exile shows misogyny and perhaps underlying gender dysphoria.

[@catsncrows]

I think she should leave because never raise a child in a toxic family. I can't remember if she mentioned the gender of the baby. If it's a girl she needs to get out now, but even if it's a boy this person has been feeding the other DILs sons crap. She needs to quietly start gathering resources and use the situation to establish supervised custody. For this family fafo! Edit I'm bi and part of the LGBTQ community and have encountered some toxic things. (As well as meeting some of the most lovely people, I think I'm just really good at attracting toxicity because I had a dumpster fire family)

[@chaosshiva4165]

@@catsncrowsI don’t doubt you on that. And this has got to be the worse example of it. Honestly with the way he’s acting I wouldn’t put it past him to be transphobic and literally anything that he isn’t phobic. He feels like he’s got issues.

[@Cruz2917]

He is envious

[@Kzinix]

Please keep us posted on story 1 if there are any more updates. I feel so sorry for OP. She needs to talk with her husband about BIL's pattern. He can't just play the victim card every time someone rightfully calls him out for being a jerk!

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

There is no winning with people like those in-laws. Be frank with the husband and tell him that you're not going to try with his family any more and that if he trys to take their side it will be the end of your marriage.

[@robertx8020]

this Fightng will just be frustrating and OP will NEVER win!

[@dandotvid]

There is winning in this case, but it would be fighting hard as hell. She should have gathered multiple bits of evidence of what he was saying when no one was around. Easy to do, everyone has a phone on them. Just a simple push of record when they're alone. Then, bring it up at a family gathering and don't forget to bring the SIL's situation into the picture. "This is EXACTLY what BIL did to SIL. Called her homophobic and everyone believed him! He's the liar. He's the monster!" If they don't respond well to that, they're a lost cause and you cut them off. Simple as that.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

​@@dandotvidEven if she "wins" this case, the drama started and the family will never look at her the same. BIL's husband will probably find new things to her under her nails in the future too.

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

It's sad but the family has a history and it's not good for the women. Definitely does not make for a harmonious relationship for the straight sons and their wives in the family. The women should bond together and any time there is a family event, they should send their husbands but tell them the kids are having cousin time away from the people who hate their mothers.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 1: Poor OP. BIL has the whole family wrapped around his finger. Hope they get unwound sooner rather than later or that OP goes no contact for her own good.

[@lindah3803]

I'm not so sure that the family is "on his side". OP said that he loud and aggressive. I think they are more intimidated by him.

[@Alahyana]

Ohhh I hate those people that yell homophobic/racist/misogynist when people try to defend themselves against them! My friend almost got problems when she defended herself against the sexual harassment from a lesbian and she and her friends accused her to be homophobic, the only readon she didn't got a serious problem is because she is bi (we are both bi) and she was going out with a woman!

[@valbear2996]

Honestly I feel for op and your friend. I’ve been in a similar situation when at an old job. I had a man who would grab my butt, pull my hair and tickle me. I let this go on for months because I was terrified of being labeled as racist. I am white and he is black. I finally reported it when he said he wanted to be my black boyfriend as he was following me out the door. That’s when I realized I rather be labeled as “racist” than to let it go on any further. I left the job soon after because he came and “apologized” to me after getting a talking to. He was a mid to late fourties’ man and I was just 20 at the time. I’m 26 now and I still think about it from time to time and wished I stood up for myself earlier. I do hope that op is able to get out of the misogynistic situation with her BIL husband and I hope your friend was able to get out of that horrible situation as well.

[@nativewarmask9861]

I completely agree, because not only is that shit just frustrating beyond all possible conception, it makes life for those of us that are in minority groups, a lot more difficult, and I say this as a North American and indigenous Mexican man who is also on the autism spectrum, But it's extremely frustrating, and it seems you can get labeled homophobic, racist, or misogynistic for breathing the wrong way, in the presence of some of these people.

[@cynthiaholland13]

​@@valbear2996that's disgusting behavior. As a black woman I hate that he used his gender, race and even being older than you to put you in a vulnerable position. He knew exactly what he was doing

[@marycrawford9428]

Sexual harassment is unacceptable regardless of the genders of the harasser and the victim. Real friends would support her, not re victimize her.

[@only1one1me]

She should have recorded what he said and collected evidence over time. Dude is a master manipulator.

[@hiro4344]

Honestly when the bro-in-law's husband was talking about husbands cheating on their wives after a birth I wondered if he wanted to get with OP's husband for a moment.

[@BohemianScandalous]

Story 1 is just so sad. There’s this contingent of gay guys who think that just because they’re gay that’s carte blanche to be misogynist, and if hubby is so easily swayed by BIL then this is not a good environment for neither you nor your kids.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

OP needs to record bil when he starts up, and set up a hidden camera that has an audio

[@lm2720]

Yeah this is when you throw out the "until you can start respecting me, you will never see my child." I'm not a fan of weaponizing children, but if someone can't respect the parents, don't let them anywhere near the kids.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

At this point, I'm worried that the nieces and nephews will be labeled homophobic and shunned if they're not gay as well. It would be a shame if they had to put up a rouse just to avoid being attacked by the rabid wolves.

[@deusdamnit]

Dude, this is the exact kind of person that makes republicans think that LGBT people are groomers. This shit is psychotic.

[@TigersandBearsOhMy]

I had that thought too. That guy hates women and straight couples and apparently tries to sabotage any heterosexual relationships in his vicinity. That behavior won't change since the family so passionately enables and supports it. The children will be next.

[@jacearmor5274]

If his behavior is an indicator, probably

[@bug-in-a-rug]

Or if they are queer, it’s the “wrong” kind (ie; trans, bi, ace, etc)

[@bethanygee6939]

Can confirm the "egg box" exists in rural areas. The price per dozen is listed and there's a small box for money. It operates on the honor system. You take the eggs, you leave the money. It usually works great. 😊

[@dexine4723]

I get all my eggs from such honesty boxes. Some of the local smallholdings also sell off spare vegetables, fruit and plants, which is very handy. I live in a very rural area, so people tend to be honest enough for it to work.

[@momo-cchi5978]

Story 1: OP should just create a group chat, invite her husband's family into it, and then share this reddit post with them and then proceed to go no contact with them.

[@greenbeacon394]

Story 1: As far as the husband your wife comes first, not your brother, mother, father, or cousins. We learned this lesson with my wife’s family

[@mgaus]

Story 1: OP should contact the older sister-in-law and begin a united front against brother-in-law. She should also begin counseling to track her emotional well-being should she need to sue for damages.

[@mistyalmondweb]

Sadly she does have a brother in law problem but now shes getting a husband problem too. Poor OP, being a new mom to this unwanter drama hopefully it gets better for her.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - Sam and Liz are never going to take responsibility for starting off the 'Swift debacle' and telling OP not to worry because it was a friend of Liz'. Shame on them. OP is NTA. They were probably doing it for brownie points for Liz with the girls - do they get along really well or just tolerate her as 'step-mummy'? OP needs to make sure both girls know that they were the ones who assured her the tickets really did exist and that any other information from that quarter will be taken with a grain of salt!

[@momo382844]

I bet my next paycheck that Sam and Liz pocketed that $400.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Jesus, just record what he says and give it to your husband to listen to. Don't say a word, just sit there while the hubby listens. You can't be blamed for anything then. This is why you have to wonder how many of these stories are actually real.

[@gabak1292]

Exactly!

[@Emi_TheWinged]

She was kinda stupid to NOT do this. And she went with the other way she said he said. Now peopel don't believe her because there is no proof and they have the favorite victim anyway to believe. It's clear that they coddle that shitty man, it doesnt matter if you are a woman/gay/minority/disabled, you can still be racist/sexist/homophobic and an asshole. But that family clearly have no idea, He is being extremaly sexist to fking children wtf. And it seems that op husband is taking their side . This is going to be a shitstorm later on. If only op had some proof.... Edit: i went to see the post op husband have even more red flags.... He will not be on her side i fear

[@paulastiles5507]

So...didn't listen to the update, I take it?

[@deifieddata4462]

​@@paulastiles5507she didn't get enough evidence before presenting her case. The problem is the family prefers BIL over her, so she needs to gather enough evidence to overcome their innate preference. That's to say it needs to be so bad that anyone who'd naturally want to ignore her complaints would be shamed into distancing from BIL, which she sadly didn't provide. BIL can easily spin the article as "I was trying to help".

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@paulastiles5507 they clearly didn't. Op has a serious husband problem, OP has to realize that it's her husbands' job to deal with his brother. the fact that he said he would talk to him and not kick his ass is not a good sign. She cannot live her life like this she might have to leave.

[@lajasnjohu5264]

I hope theres further updates. If i were her id be getting in co tact with the other woman, and getting from her what he said, so if they go for divorce, she has someone to back her up on how toxic her BIL's husband is. They need to band together. Especially where keeping their children safe is involved. And especially if they have daughters. Imagine how hed treat them?

[@brianaschmidt910]

It's the son's I'm worried about. There's no hint that he wants any woman. And he was talking to young boys about their sexual preferences.

[@recycledapathy7411]

Story 1: I'd just send pictures of the chat where BIL accuses OP's husband of having an affair. That would probably swing everyone's opinion right back the other way. In fact, OP's husband should be the one to tell his family that he's outraged that BIL would even imply that he's unfaithful.

[@AuroraPaintBrush4444]

I like how the Egg/chicken story was an honest language barrier story. Communication saves the day

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Fresh eggs are indeed more addictive than crack! We have lived in the same HOA for about 21 years, and it's not a bad HOA. We just have simple rules. One of the rules was no farm animals (pigs, cows, chickens, goats). But, a few years ago at one of the HOA meetings, my family presented our case about sustainable living and such and asked if we could get chickens. After much deliberation and heated discussions, we was given the OK to get chickens, but we had some rules to follow. Like we can't have more than 8 chickens and no roosters allowed. I was fine with those conditions. Now my HOA is small, with only 12 houses in the entire neighborhood, and about half of them were not happy we were getting chickens. We got the ok in September, and so my husband and daughter spent winter and spring building a custom nighttime coop, equipped with heat lamps (for cold nights), and fresh running water with filtration system. They also built a daytime run area so the chickens can roam freely but safely. Everything died down with the pissed off neighbors until April rolled around, and we came home with 8 chickens (3 Speckled Sussex, 3 Isa Browns, and 2 Leghorns). We started getting the dirty looks again. About August/September our girls started laying eggs, and before we knew it, we were inundated with extra eggs as we git a minimum of 8 eggs a day, sometimes 12. So, my daughter came up with an idea. For Thanksgiving we made little baskets for all our neighbors with some goodies made with our chicken eggs, as well as a half dozen eggs for each home. Like OP, we kept the newly laid fresh one for home, and (at the beggining) gave the others (never more that 7 days old). Well, it wasn't long after that that I started to regret giving those baskets, because suddenly everyone wanted to be our best friend. I mean it almost got to the point that people were trying to bid for the eggs, "JimBob gives you $3 a dozen, well how about I give you $4 a dozen?" I am dead serious, these people were acting like crackheads, riding their bikes in 6 feet of water during a hurricane just to get a fix. A couple even got into arguments, because the other bought the rest we had. Then one day we had a neighbor come over and ask my daughter if she would be interested in building a chicken coop for them. She came and asked my husband and me if it was ok (she was 16), and we said yes, but told her we would all need to sit and talk to work out an hourly rate, as she wasn't doing all that work for free. Well, within 18 months 9 of the 12 houses in our HOA had beautiful cutom built chicken coops, built by my daughter, and their very own chickens. Oh, and my daughter walked away with quite a wad of money. She is 23 now, and runs her own business. Can you guess what the business is? If you guessed custom chicken coops and animal pens, you would be correct. She started the business after she graduated college.

[@gag141]

Story 1. They're trying to set up a 4 some between the 3 brothers and the husband. Family seems to be for it

[@Windxchild]

Story 2 was hilarious and wholesome in the best way possible. Love the OP’s attitude here. Also love how much fun Mark had with this one. Eggcelent story 😂 Where I grew up, we also have these boxes for eggs, and also for flowers. It’s quite cute!

[@AutumnFire1414]

Since it's a pretty much a neighbor, OP could let the guy know if there are any other local sources the neighbor could buy some from.

[@mattl6300]

S1: My gay brother and his husband do the same things to me and my family when my mom isn't around. He plays the victim when my mom is around and we respond. This is his way of isolating my mom from us so he can manipulate her more easily.

[@kamicokrolock]

#1-I changed my opinion. OP needs to just get out of this situation. Don't raise your kid in this environment. if hubby doesn't agree dump him as well because you and the kid deserve better.

[@Amna613]

S1: BIL is acting like a person who is competing for all 3 brothers attention because if he doesnt, he will not be center of attention.

[@slick8086]

Story 1: OP should talk the the BIL and about their relationship, has she ever done anything HE's seen that looks homophobic? You can't be "homophobic" against 1 gay person and not "homophobic" against another. Being gay doesn't magically mean you're not an asshole.

[@tracybarber-kier1669]

When I was a kid, my family had 42 hens, laying daily, at one time. Oh yes there is a different... our eggs had a much better flavor than store-bought eggs. Our hens were Rhode Island Reds, & laid big brown eggs... they were SO good. And, when I get scam calls, I usually ask them if their family knows that they are thieves and criminals.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

OP needs to put her foot down and tell her husband he needs to get his head out of ass and supporting her and cut off his family (except for the maligned SIL) or the marriage is over. Take the baby and stay else until hubby can grow up.

[@HopeJLK]

Story #2: Glad OP learned that the eggs were going to multiply family because I was just picturing Gaston on my head.

[@mithril1584]

I looked up story 1, and a month before this story OP posted another story, about how her husband called her ugly in front of his friends. She needs to leave her husband, to save herself and child from that family.

[@ndawn90]

The ESH verdict on Story 3 is total BS. It would be amazing if we lived in a world where we could thoroughly vouch every online purchase we make, but that just isn't realistic. Sometimes you have to make purchases online from total strangers, that's just how places like Facebook marketplace works. Could OP have done more due diligence? Sure, but that's not exactly standard practice when purchasing things secondhand online. Acting like they didn't do anything before they handed the money over is idiotic as well. They did due diligence, that's why the ex and his new partner owe them money in the first place. They were the ones who messed up, not OP. She did verify that this person was real, through her ex and his partner, so expecting her to do more than that is a little silly and unrealistic.

[@YellaBellaReno]

Agreed. They assured her it was their friend, who they knew personally. If I didn’t know better, I’d say the ex and his partner were in on it, especially with how they went straight to the daughter to hype her up first. But I do know that people can also be down right incompetent too.

[@ginathecookie]

Yes. Thank you. This isn't a site OP just randomly found, it was recommended.

[@simonO712]

THANK YOU!

[@messinalyle4030]

You'd think that a gay man, of all people, would know better than to play into sexism. This guy doesn't care about treating everyone else with dignity and helping to not perpetuate any of the other "isms," he just cares about not being a target himself--and about looking for a way to twist his story and play the victim any chance he gets, whether he really is a victim in that situation or not.

[@Goodfood717]

Why was he talking to little children about romantic interests? Why coach them into a preference? 🤔🤨

[@BrennanCh06]

Groomer

[@jboy804]

OK, this is where I have to state this sounds like a rage-bate story, AKA fake. It has ALL the hallmarks. Religion under attack, not real homophobia, and what the right has constantly lied about what LGBT do to children. Sigh.

[@catandrobbyflores]

Yep.

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

He's a misogynist and a pervert. He started talking to OP and her sex life unprompted, he doesn't respect common decency or boundaries.

[@kelleygreengrass]

I mean it's an orientation not a preference

[@lisakaz35]

Story 1: hope OP gets the evidence to show her husband. Getting the goods is key.

[@sarahward9723]

Scam calls are rife. I was at my Parents house yesterday with my 2 year old nephew, and they got a scam call. I answered it, waited until I was speaking to an actual human and gave the phone to my nephew. Now, phones are one of his favourite things so he was absolutely lit up to be given it. Also he is currently very into Postman Pat, so whoever that was got my nephew's most excellent rendition of the theme tune to a cartoon they'd probably never heard of. It was awesome, completely made his day 😁

[@onyxdragon1179]

Story 1: OP should distance herself from the family then, focus all her attention on her baby and husband. Also should talk to her husband, and if he sides with them she should dump him. And if the family ever comes crawling back when they eventually learn the truth (though I doubt that) she can either tell them to fuck off or establish firm boundaries that if broken mean no contact.

[@HSvideoSims3]

Story 1: Sounds like BIL’s husband is one of those people who have been the victim for so long, they enjoy the support and attention they get from it, and thus make and create situations where they themselves are the ‘victim’ at the center of it. I know people like this, and they’re one of the worst people to deal with because they don’t care who they have to throw under the bus and step on to feel like they’re the center of attention. Very gross.

[@opal5138]

Really sad that she can’t just talk to her husband, waffle gang have a great day people care about you!

[@briansmaller7443]

1st story - Record him every time you are alone with him. Everyone has a personal recording device on them at all times now.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: I am really sick and tired of people with a nice dinner minority status as a means to get out of trouble. Op’s not angry with him, because he’s gay it’s because he’s being an objective POS. It’s like these days being someone of minority is treated like an instant get out of jail, free card because there’s so much human history of them being victims that history had to be taken in an account on whether or not this person should get in trouble for being a bastard. The husband is definitely been a POS avoiding his wife and not taking her side? I agree with the comments. OP should go nuclear and basically create a google dock or a group chat sending everybody why he’s been saying to her, including husband. EDIT TO ADD: I want to add some thing I’ve seen people trying to protect grown adults with autism that also weapon I was being autistic to get out of trouble when they are talking sexual to minors on the Internet. Having autism was like excuse for grooming kids. If I was in the same situation as OP and there happened to your Bluetooth speaker in the house I would not hesitate to connect on speaker and play the recording so everyone can hear.

[@anndownsouth5070]

Ĺ

[@jasmineflower1988]

Just finished listening to the first story. Now I'm so angry. A nursing mother being treated this way? This evil person manipulating those around him? And op is now being treated awfully by even her husband? People make me sick. My faith in humanity is shattered on a daily basis.

[@fatimamohammed5201]

Best thing is to stay away from brother in law and start distancing her self from her husband. He knows his brother, he knows but is ignoring the crap he does, pretending it never happened. She can't view her husband as a safe place in that family because he's not. She's not losing her comfort he was fooling her.

[@momof6innj873]

In the first story I cannot imagine that hanging over my head...the fact that he can cry and turn an entire family against OP and he has no consequences and OP and SIL are sunned from the family. I would befriend the SIL and go NC with the rest of the family if necessary.

[@emelya.9039]

EVERYONE- USE CAUTION. scammers have been reported using voice recordings to access bank details through the phone. if they can record you saying Yes or things like that they can use that recording to gain information

[@dopaminedrought395]

Expose the texts, record him, show that to the husband. Call him on speaker without him knowing you're with your husband or family. Being gay does not excuse being a misogynist and it is actually a phenomenon that is talked about in the LGBTQIA community.

[@chaosshiva4165]

You’d think the family would see the pattern.

[@Neolithika]

Story one, the guy is just plain evil and projecting hard. One day he'll be caught in the act.

[@momo382844]

That one comment was right; OP needs to trip and raise hell. It’s the only thing that bullies understand.

[@CouncilEstateRach]

A lot of the scammers, from india, are under duress, i only found this out the other day, a lot start off thinking they are gonna get a normal call centre job but then they are told their family will be harmed or they dont pay them and then talk them into terrible things. Yes many are just bad but many are stuck doing something they know is wrong but they have no choice. How horrid. Nothing worse than being forced into bad stuff. I think there need s to be some sort of crack down

[@nidiagarcia8411]

Story one) honestly I would go speak with Sister-in-law and her husband and see what was going on because now your in the same situation.

[@Iflie]

Well the tastiest eggs I ever had were from little bantam chickens that could fly into the willowtrees and so caught more insects. So they had super tasty little eggs. We just fried them in butter. Goose eggs are great for pancakes.

[@Ars-Nova258]

“If everywhere you go smells of shit, check under your shoes.” Basically if there’s trouble everywhere someone goes, maybe the person is the source of it. At some point that family should have the common sense to wonder why every woman who marries into said family are suddenly “homophobic” towards a man with a propensity towards saying sexist crap. You’re not excused from saying sexist crap because you’re gay… and the same goes for every demographic.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Good afternoon, Mark !😂 now my day is complete, lol Hope everyone has had an awesome day. Always enjoy your stories. Also love when you give us some personal❤ stories. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@BrennanCh06]

That brother is a literal groomer talking to kida like that. Get away from him at any cost.

[@helianabanes4875]

I totally get it. I love eggs and am not always diplomatic, when I have run out.

[@brendasmith8939]

Love the stories and love that you share your personal experiences as well.

[@CouncilEstateRach]

Let us all take example from this man.

[@evavocative6975]

Story 3: NTA - the ex and his GF said they VETTED this seller because "Oh shes my friend, I vouch for her!" At least OP didn't lose EVERYTHING and got majority of the money back. It sucks so much for OP. The new GF claims she KNEW it wasn't a scam.

[@momo382844]

They absolutely pocketed that money.

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

Story 1: This family sounds like they inject themselves with TikTok. Wishing OP nothing but the best.

[@jessicah3782]

story 1: secretly record him and share with your husband so he knows you're not lying nor homophobic. it's best not to confront directly cause he sounds like he wants drama.

[@mollymooandcompany6126]

I havent watched the video yet but i wanted to let Mark know: You are one of the channels who always has something new to watch right before i go to work and come back home, so its my lil tradition to watch you in those moments of the days, thank you! I love u, cant wait to get off work and listen to this story!!

[@netta26301]

Start by secretly recording yourself when he's around and when you're by yourself !!

[@julesMillie77]

In some cities in my province (Saskatchewan), some houses have boxes that have books. You can take a book fir free, or swap one if yours for one of theirs. The box is usually a small doll house style and the front of it is glass, and you open it.

[@boneymeroney2674]

My MIL decided that we needed chickens for the eggs. I worked my butt off for 4 years, trying to keep them alive throughout brutally cold winter's, repairing the run and keeping my Labradorks from trying to play with...the chickens. According to my pups, the hens tasted like chicken. 😂 Sadly/thankfully, the last 3 passed (originally 15) last winter. They had stopped producing eggs. They were 4 years old.

[@jenniferrichards2122]

S1, sounds like BIL has a crush on OP’s husband. Then the way the husband was acting, could be mutual. They seriously need counseling, but if the husband does not come around, then divorce. How toxic that family is.

[@MrsGump]

I'm near the bottom of the South Island of NZ & we have the wee stands on the side of the road here for things like eggs, fruit & flowers. They have a wee trust box where u put ur money to pay for whatever ur buying

[@LadyJoolree]

I used to buy eggs from a school I used to teach in. The chicken run was right outside of my classroom. Best. Eggs. Ever. 😋 They got eaten by foxes one summer though, apparently it was gruesome. The caretaker had to do a lot to make it look OK for when the children returned. 😬

[@breannashell3799]

In my town before it got as big as it is today, we had a farmer who went by trust and sold fresh veggies and sometimes honey via change box. There wasn't tax on it so it always came out rounded. I don't think he sells his produce anymore because of how big our town is still growing. People got super greedy.

[@annabordelon6663]

1 start marriage counseling and talk to a lawyer immediately

[@thethirdtime9168]

My parents have a little 'bee house' besides the road where people can buy honey, and it is very common that produce gets put out in the summer for people passing by to buy (gosh the strawberries are so delicious). Unfortunately, we use too many of our eggs as well to sell, but it's all decently common when you get a bit out in the country.

[@Vitamin_D86]

Thank goodness I'm working from home today cos I don't need to explain to coworkers about why I laughed so hard hearing the word "eggcellent" 😂

[@stuffedninja1337]

Roadside Stand etiquette usually entails taking only what you pay for. There's typically a cash box and a sign along with the products, so leave the appropriate amount in cash and take only what you paid for. Abusing goodwill usually means the goodwill stops, but you're a good person, so I wouldn't expect you to test any limits. (The ones around here sell all sorts of farm products, but the most common products you see are either Eggs or Honey.) Semi-Related: I got on the front page of the local paper when I was six, due to us fighting our town in court over having chickens at home. (We lost, it was the 90's when it was less common. The few that hadn't been gotten by foxes were given to a farm we were friendly with down the road.)

[@Pepperjack1986]

The best thing for OP to do in Story 1 was to record him saying those things to her. Texts can be misconstrued due to not hearing the tone of voice. She should have recorded several conversations just to have irrefutable proof, then give it to her husband to hear.

[@83gemm]

See, I’m so petty. My first thought was the public shaming too. At family dinner, “Hey I read that article you sent me about husbands cheating on their wives after birth. Why’d you send that?”

[@kateryan5045]

Regarding S3: years ago i got a scam call from someone claiming to be from AT&T. He went on his little spiel about "my account" and needing to confirm banking information etc. Finally I was like, "sir, I don't even have an AT&T account so your scam really isn't going to work on me. Maybe you could remove my number from your list to save us both time." He was like "you will continue to receive these calls forever until you die." After a few seconds of shock, I just laughed my ass off and said "well I guess thanks for your honesty. I hope no one falls for your scams today."

[@GallifreyanOrphan]

I love that you have the same etiquette concerns that I do with the egg thing. Like, I get how it works, but in my head, I'm like, "Can just anyone do it? What if they have a certain group of people and I'm just stomping in poaching someone else's eggs (poaching, ha!)"

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 1 - BIL is an embarrassment to the queer community. Claiming homophobia because you get called out on misogyny (literally including saying women aren’t fun so no one should be attracted to them) is such bullshit. Would he say that to lesbians too? Or would he turn right around and say they’re not good enough for men even if they wanted them? I’ve run into a few gay guys who think because they’re gay they’re not responsible for being shitty to other marginalized groups.

[@ZombieSazza]

Yeah there’s loads of egg boxes in Aberdeenshire (Scotland), lots of farms here! For egg box etiquette you put cash in the honesty box for your box of eggs, well worth doing it you want fresher eggs or want to try duck eggs! Now I’m gunna go to one this weekend because now I really want duck eggs!

[@rahulmodi8706]

Story 3: why wouldn’t she call the friend by phone and see if it was a scam? Sam is pathetic, he’s the father and should have chipped in for the tickets

[@slytherinlannister942]

The story with the eggs reminded me of that episode of Friends where the neighbors go crazy for Monica's Christmas candy.

[@fleurpouvior2967]

There aren't eggs stands on the side of the road, but there are signs at driveways of farms that sell fresh produce, and my parents have several dozen chickens (mostly hens with 3 roosters). They lay eggs in all sorts of colors, ftom creams and browns with speckles, to blues and greens. I usually get a dozen when ever i want some, and a bunch get donated to the senior center for the free lunches.

[@KitsunePhotography]

The “egg boxes” are Farm stands, I stop at them as often as I can! It might sound gross but you want to check eggs and hope they are unwashed/dirty! Eggs actually don’t need to be refrigerated as long as they are unwashed, washing them removes the membrane that keeps them fresh longer. You can still refrigerate unwashed eggs but then being unwashed makes them last much longer. If you have a concern about if the egg is bad you can drop it into a container of water (but only right before using it!). If the egg sinks completely it’s fresh. If it sinks but kinda only touches the bottom on one end it’s still good just not super fresh. If it floats it’s bad.

[@DaShikuXI]

We all walk around with perfectly fine recording devices in our pockets every day. How people consistently fail to use those baffles me.

[@debbiey9452]

Story 2: after keeping chickens myself, store bought eggs now taste like disappointment.

[@hvymax]

Well if he's sending the crap share it with anyone in his circle. Team up with other SIL so you aren't facing him alone. Accuse him of being Cisphobic!!!

[@LadyBern]

Story 1: the in laws are going to look one day and notice a pattern and what the common denominator is. Then wake up and go "oh he's not prosecuted, he's just an asshole who happens to be gay. Ok everyone pack up we have to go on an apology tour."