Human Ships Encounter the Galactic Empire, and Humans Can't Stop Laughing | Best HFY Stories | HFY

[@JohnHankins-n6p]

Why did the chicken cross the road. "To get away from me.".

[@tonyv8925]

Very amusing story, thanks for sharing.

[@nevillehoward8736]

Hmm. I expected Lord Perfect to reply that he didn't know how his fleet was propelled. Proudly, at that.

[@soumikmandal8604]

"This is all against imperial Protocols", please continue....

[@MaxPSVR]

Captain Chaos. That is the perfect name for any cat.

[@vromansaltzman5276]

Great story what a great change from the normal SIFI stuff.

[@LawrenceKennard]

Humans conquer the Calvinists! The story was perfect

[@mikemesser4326]

Love the name for the cat... And I can empathize with the 30 signatures thing. I worked a job once where one of my duties was to create formulation changes called ECNs (Engineering Change Notice). A chemist would submit the new formula. I would have to calculate cost changes, send the proposal to 4-5 people that eventually increased to multiple passes among 8 or 9 people. Midway I would make the change and resubmit with a printoff of the new formula. The reason for the added signatures was a single typo I made in 5 years. I mistyped 118280 a118820. One was the oil; the other was yellow pigment. The idiot mixer in the plant didn't connect the fact that W meant White ... and Y meant yellow. And that the formula was missing its oil .. which every formula had. One type in 5 years and I had everyone yelling at me. Agreed, my fault. But that was the only typo I ever made. After they made the changes to the signature list, it started taking 3-4 times as long to get a formula approved.

[@creemoon9546]

the AI read of this text is proof that we have a long ways to go lol

[@WilliamMccormick-xk5cb]

I'm sure that this is AI generated, but damn is this a good story! I live it! 10/10!

[@Axi-Sol]

Maybe edited by an ai but I think there is definitely someone behind this story

[@michaeloshaughnessy9718]

I love the inference regarding OCD 😂 this is great stuff! I’m lol

[@johnweaver8864]

interesting

[@Gundamortal]

Welcome to the Sheldon Empire.😅

[@stanleycarrothers9227]

Great

[@kili1234567]

Good one

[@VergilTheLegendaryDarkSlayer]

They should be grateful they didn't encounter the Goa'uld The description of the ships decribed the Ha'tak almost to a T

[@dennish.7708]

“We sort of just. Built rockets.”. Ugh. Take the time to get a human to read this aloud.

[@jizziejustin]

I genuinely enjoyed this story a few times I thought it was going to go in a different direction but it was really good

[@biffgee6797]

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did The adventurous chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. Why did the robot cross the road? It was programmed by the chicken.

[@anklebiterwoodworks2818]

Was not expecting that. David Weber, Timothy Zahn, Tom Clancy perfect. Divine chaos. THIS was a story that I always hoped would actually be First Contact. Not the horror Armageddon so stereotypically portrayed. This is along the lines of Eric Flint and David Freer's Rats, Bats, and Vats plus the sequel: The Rats, The Bats, and the Ugly. Whoever wrote this, I need a name! I want to read what else they wrote.

[@nevillehoward8736]

Huh, just wait till the humans see the Vogon ships!

[@hariseldon3786]

lol lolo lol Sounds like Washington...

[@laymelow1979]

This is the best one ever 😂

[@Thomas-t7e2z]

Excellent satire well told. I give 4.999 stars of 5. Very good but not perfect.

[@jons387]

Not bad story

[@MichaelLaw-t1c]

Commonsense versus WOKE. 😊

[@remischmitt9308]

Full of inconsistencies like ' follow at this distance' (no translation into metric); they never stepped inside but where amazed by how the ship looked on the inside;... If you can overlook those mistakes it's a reasonable story. I recommend you read some books from real writers instead. Or wait for this AI to learn more... in 10 years he might be a decent writer.

[@blueeyeswhitedragon9839]

Thank you for an entirely entertaining story. Much better than the usual juvenile stuff offered. 👽

[@AnilWang-fs4nj]

Here are some other chicken crossing the road answers: To escape the farmer’s wife’s cooking To get away from the farmer’s constant “egg-xpectations” Because people kept calling him "chicken" and he had something to prove. Sheesh....Does there have the be a reason? Can't a chicken just stretch his legs? To fulfill its destiny as a roadkill statistic To respond to the evolutionary pressure to cross roads and adapt to new environments To participate in the “Great Chicken Migration” and find a new home in the suburbs To find the meaning of life on the other side (spoiler alert: it’s still just a chicken) To demonstrate its ability to navigate complex spatial environments To transcend the boundaries of this side and explore the existential implications of the other side To experience the ontological shift that occurs when crossing the road To challenge the notion of “sides” and blur the lines between reality and fantasy To embody the concept of “becoming” and leave its old self behind To commemorate the 100th anniversary of the original “Why did the chicken cross the road?” joke To escape the farmer’s drone surveillance and find a new home in the “Fowl Internet” To fill out form TRG-1532 requesting permission to cross the road. To get away from Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick. To get away from the T-1000, "Hasta la Vista… Poultry!" To get to the dark side… of the highway! To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

[@tyeadel]

Our district council would benefit from this.

[@stanbarker3764]

After sending word back, I'd have had my chief engineer speed us up and slow us down just to yo yo the hell out of that proper distance. Claim minor engine troubles

[@troyvaughan9281]

Very well written. Worth it. Thanks. Different and entertaining. 👍

[@aaronsmith8073]

Hahaha Well done!

[@matthewlloyd2501]

Fun story I just dont get what they are finding so funny in the beginning before learning anything about the empire

[@Wolfen443]

It was interesting and guess full of irony. But very unlikely to have the Star Trek ending it got. I certainly hope that first contact is not with the Vulcans, even the galactic Empires of Star Wars or LOGH, or even Warhammer are better. This is just terribly tragically funny for a first contact. Our free wiling culture is the most dangerous weapon we have, apparently. So, that is how the Europeans more practical and driven conquered the world in the age of colonization?.

[@JamesKoji-f6j]

Fulgrim what does fulcrum doing in this arm of the Galaxy

[@leexgx]

It’s too bad. He didn’t see productivity improved by 300%. 😅

[@MartinLovasz-r7r]

How did Smith get a cat?

[@keithdouggosse2181]

Suppressing emotions with all the perfection as well? Vulcans taken to the nth degree

[@leroybarron6005]

So aliens have german names

[@davidjames1063]

Story describes geometric shaps, but the thumbnail shows what look like fish designs. This incongruentcy earned a Thumbs Down. I will NOT be subscribing, and will block your channel from my feeds. Try a bit of consistency, or others with higher standards will dump you too.

[@ogoglethorp]

no like no hate but the story shited sides at 29:38 stupid AI.

[@flitsertheo]

Yes, the Swarm suddenly changed from being chaotic to being perfect geometrical.

[@leexgx]

It’s too bad. He didn’t see productivity improved by 300%. 😅