My Brother-In-Law Secretly Made A Plan To Destroy My Marriage r/Relationships

[@MarkNarrations]

Much love all, hope you have a wonderful day ahead of you :)

[@FlamesofJagger]

Have a great day Mark. Take care of yourself too

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8

[@angieb.5852]

Right back at ya you cheeky so 'n so.😘

[@megnotmegan1966]

You too! Give Poppy some butt rubs for me ❤

[@paden1865able]

Doing alright, preparing to ride out the storms that are supposedly going to hit today. Weather app says they were going to start around two this morning but so far we only have clouds. I'd love to be a weather reporter because even when you get it wrong, it's always unpredictable and you can't be blamed.😂😂

[@TheBlueDsc]

Good grief that friend is just as bad as the BIL. What person in their right mind would willingly help ruin two innocent lives even for a friend?

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Exactly. Hate IS the dark side of love. The opposite of love is not hate. It's apathy. She really bruised his ego. I doubt he ever actually loved her sister and instead only treated her well to try to show OP what she is "missing out on" 😂. He's OBSESSED with her. And the sister clearly knows this but is in denial or okay with being the second choice. Feel bad for the poor kids trapped in this situation.

[@jusminejustice2794]

People who wanted to see others being as miserable as they are. aka pathetic people.

[@KarmikCykle]

@@WhitneyDahlin "The opposite of love is not hate. It's apathy." That's exactly what my mom always used to say.

[@victorvaldez8869]

@@WhitneyDahlin I'm wondering if it's the kids & BiL's financial dominance over her life that is keeping OP's sister in this situation. YOU KNOW he's told her he's 'rich enough to hire lawyers to take her to the cleaners & make sure she never sees their kids again if she left him.' She's probably already terrified of him financially, & I think we all agree with his attitude towards women to do this to OP, he'd have no problem with taking the abuse to physicality, assuming (baselessly) that he hasn't already.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@WhitneyDahlin I've heard its indifference. They both make sense.

[@Mapache095]

Het husband’s reputation???? How about her sister’s reputation when she got framed for cheating??? Bruh… the copium

[@saldiven2009]

Story 1: OP really needs to file a slander lawsuit. Name both the BIL and his friend who helped in the "joke" as defendants.

[@GiordanDiodato]

BIL is apparently rich.

[@lina9535]

Once again, we have a "joke" defense. A joke is supposed to be funny for *everyone* involved. But how was that funny? It wasn't, so that defense it moot af.

[@ineedhoez]

She is too weak and pathetic to do so

[@Ashbrash1998]

​@@GiordanDiodatoThis is a big point right here, Op doesn't have as much funds as bil does.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@GiordanDiodato That's not a guarantee he'd get off. He's already suffered damage just from her STBX's attack and his wealth didn't do jack to stop that.

[@poohbear4515]

Honestly, I have absolutely no sympathy for OP’s sister at all. I only fear for the poor kids’ safety. She realized what her husband did and how their marriage was probably a lie. But instead she was not only angry at OP for ruining her husband’s “reputation”, but also decided to play the obedient wife card and chose to throw her family, ones that care more about her, for that sick psychopath.

[@TheBlueDsc]

I have some sympathy for her. A person that is willing to go through such lengths for revenge is a person that is likely more than willing to force their wife to their will. The fact that there are children involved make me feel that is even more likely. We can point out the correct action all we want, but children being in the mix make it a significantly more complicated situation.

[@Some_Idiot_on_the_Internet]

My sympathy only goes so far. People can moan and groan about how you don't know what it's like inside and abusive relationship and blah blah blah but at some point you're choosing the abuse, and you aren't worthy of respect or sympathy until you can prove you're trying to find a way out.

[@drewgon13]

There also the chance that the BIL isn’t abusive to his wife, genuinely loves her and his kids, but also harbors a seething hatred for his SIL. Now the sister has to pick, her husband that she loves or her family, one of whom has a crazed soon to be ex coming around and threatening your family. Idk, people have cut off family for less.

[@jennydrake491]

I am sympathetic, because she has seen how he would behave if she went against him. I have an ex like that guy, a complete psychopath. It was so difficult to split from him. I waited and waited for the right time. I was afraid for myself and my children. During the split he was violent, and seriously hurt our youngest child. He financially ruined me and has been nothing but a blight on our children's lives, refusing to pay child support and for college and medical expenses as ordered, etc. I was forced to take him to court again and again, wasting thousands of dollars. He still spews lies about me to everyone he meets, even though we have been apart for ten years and live thousands of miles from each other.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

I'm sure the husband has convinced her or, given some of the phrasing suggests this is outside of the US, maybe even legally can take the children if they divorce.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Oof. This is the scary case of: *if I can’t have you then no one can.* Can’t believe OP was willing to have this swept under the rug for her sister’s sake married to psycho.

[@jjr9792]

BIL actually has a lot in common with Ted Bundy. In a nutshell, both of them went off the deep end after being rejected by a girl in university.

[@selinesbeau]

I'm not even sure it's that so much as "if you turn me down you can never be happy"

[@thomasjoseph5876]

If this story is real, which I doubt by the number of holes in it, then the OP did everything wrong. Not to mention, she played her Ex against the BIL by telling the Ex (the ONLY person she actually told) and knowing he would go after the BIL. (Then she pretends to be mad at her Ex when she KNEW he would go after him). There are much more inconsistencies in this story such as her claims no police or lawyers would help her even though most states had existing Revenge Porn Laws before they passed a Federal Revenge Porn Law a few years back. So no cops or attorneys would help her despite state and federal laws??? Ya, right LOL.

[@VesnaVK]

@@thomasjoseph5876 she told her parents before she told her Ex.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@VesnaVKNo she didn't. She kept saying she was "going to" but the time was "never right".

[@KarmikCykle]

Interesting how the friend didn't think helping falsely accuse someone of cheating would ruin the victim's life or anything until he actually saw it happening. I'd love to know the mental gymnastics he originally went through when agreeing to help the BIL.

[@matiascamposaliaga8681]

The only thing I can think of is that maybe he thought they would fight and have marital problems, and not an actual divorce.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@matiascamposaliaga8681 OP did explain it: he thought after the divorce BIL would leave OP alone, but when she had a date and BIL snapped he saw how nuts BIL is

[@jackspring7709]

@@matiascamposaliaga8681 Which proves nothing more than he's an idiot. At least he finally had some sense of decency to own up to what he did.

[@Russman67]

There's obsessed and then there's "I'm going to turn your life into a soap opera where I'm you're villain". Good Lord, teach your kids to deal with rejection!

[@theshinypeliper8813]

Literally… so glad I’ve never had someone this insane in my life

[@vanguardangel6912]

Story 1: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That man is a psycho. He’s dangerous as hell. He needs to be in prison. I’ve got a horrid feeling. His escalating behavior is going to keep going and I’m scared for people’s safety now

[@LiveLocallyNow]

Seriously, the embarrassment and rage a psycho/narcissist/other feels for being exposed doesn’t seem to end well. I fear first for the most innocent, his children. His wife is a fool for staying, unless this is her way of protecting them, they won’t have to be alone with him for visitation/his days, for example. But they are isolated and he is angry and there. So scary.

[@vanguardangel6912]

@@LiveLocallyNow EXACTLY!!!

[@sighthoundlady15]

Classic Family Annihilator vibes, big time! 😢

[@ineedhoez]

Agreed. You never expose a covert narc.

[@amylynnsgraphics]

Seriously! And I think the reason why OP initially rejected him, is she described him as "awkward and off putting behavior" girl had a six sense that this man was unhinged even if she didn't realize it. I think there's always a small warning in the back of our heads that someone is unhinged even if there's no tangible proof and the way he called her names after she rejected him solidified rejecting him was a good decision. Classic fake "Nice Guy" type of situation that escalated.

[@listenquitely2888]

S1: Don't get back with ex-husband and press charges on brother on law. Its not a prank when your marriage is gone.

[@beachlife1498]

The husband had every right to believe the guy. Not only did he have a convincing story. But the guy had physical evidence of nudes of his wife. So with those put together, why would he believe somebody who’s going to lie if they truly are cheating? OP would’ve felt the exact same way if it was the other way around. And I bet, you would be telling her to run.

[@illuminaticonfirmed1389]

@@beachlife1498ok but that doesn’t mean she’s obligated to get back with him???? not to mention the trust is ruined on both sides either way and all the shit he called her

[@robertx8020]

@@beachlife1498 But since it were photos that seem to be taken by the ex (husband) should he not have reconiazed them?

[@beachlife1498]

@@illuminaticonfirmed1389 I didn’t say she shouldn’t. I’m just saying I completely understand why he responded the way he did. I don’t fault him in anyway. She obviously didn’t love him enough. That’s why they didn’t try again. He came back.

[@beachlife1498]

@@robertx8020 who cares if he seen the photos before. She could easily send them to somebody else. All evidence points to her doing that. If it wasn’t for the other guy coming forward, it would still look like she sent those photos to him.

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 1- the only word that comes to mind. Loser. His life is so bankrupt that he’s spent his whole life bitter over a woman denying him a date?! Yikes!

[@ComaLies225]

The only good things to come out of story 1 is BILs reputation is damaged and OP is finally moving on with her life and divorce. Mess around and find out, homies Edit: hope BILs reputation follows him to the next town/state he moves too. Op or her ex should let his new location know 😈

[@royal_stray7734]

OP needs to find a better lawyer, the one she talked to sounds like an absolute moron. Not only is it revenge pron, but she could also sue for slander and possibly harassment. BIL could probably sue OP's ex as well, but that doesn't matter to OP anymore.

[@RisetoStrength]

It's not a good idea to poke the bear when it comes to crazy men.

[@vampire9545]

​@@RisetoStrengthcorrect, as such a man I would of literally crucified BIL

[@shells500tutubo]

The only way Op can truly move on is if BIL is ended. Even prison isn't good enough.

[@megzarie]

​@@royal_stray7734 if she's in the us then it depends on on what state she's in. Not all states have outlawed revenge porn, unfortunately

[@diogoazevedo4976]

In Story 1, the sister is an accomplice of the situation, as she is the most likely person to provide her husband to OP's smartphone. Even if she did not know the consequences, providing that information to a third party is being part of it

[@lesyeuxsansvisage1157]

Dear God, as someone who has changed ALL of their info, to hide from a stalker, this is terrifying. He is never going to stop, people like that, they never do. I wish OP and her family the best, and I hope with all of my heart her sister escapes with the kids.

[@Azulakayes]

Sis is too greedy to be safe. Of all the choices she could have made, including divorcing that psycho and getting child support or looking for a job or moving in with her parents to keep herself and her children safe from a man who clearly is obsessed with her sister for decades, she *chose* to stay with him so as to maintain her lifestyle. Now he has all the power and he will take out all his frustrations about OP on her.

[@ineedhoez]

You did all that and the only thing you needed to do was exercise your second amendment rights! Assuming you are American, of course

[@HinataElyonToph]

@@Azulakayes I was thinking more on the side of “she’s blinded by love and doesn’t want to be alone” And this may be naive of me to think but maybe it’s also “she’s doing this so he doesn’t have time to focus on OP anymore” because if they did get a divorce that would free up a lot of time that he could use to continue to harass and stalk OP”

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The OP is a master manipulator. She is just bummed her master plan failed. The OP didn't bother to tell anyone else except her Ex about what happened even though she felt scared for her sister. So why did the OP only tell the Ex about this and not anyone else??? The OP KNEW (and admitted in the video) that her Ex would end up going after the BIL. She was hoping her Ex would kill the BIL and then end up in prison for the rest of his life making their divorce go smooth and easy with her getting everything. However, this story is probably fake since there are state and federal revenge porn laws but yet, she said no cops or lawyers would help her. I call BS on that.

[@Azulakayes]

@@thomasjoseph5876 You must be exhausted because of all the mental gymnastics you have done.

[@magalyvega670]

Holy shit! Op has an insane level stalker. This dude Married her sister to keep close to her and continue his revenge for her rejection. That is INsANE. I’m so scared for her!

[@yamairad1]

Story 2. The fact that he keeps acting like they (OP and the baby) are a burden is worrying. He needs a day off because he needs to prepare for the he'll he's going to go through. He is not excited, happy, or in love. That is not the type of man you want to be around your children.

[@blclegger]

Imagine getting rejected by someone and then making it your life's mission to destroy that person

[@MetalRocksMe.]

Obvs BIL had never been told no until OP rejected him. Absolute entitlement.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The sister is a lost call right now, but I hope someone can protect the kids

[@keepdancingmaria]

cause, not call.

[@truthseeker9249]

If they could just find proof of any ab*se or anything bad happening between the sister and her husband (because you know if he surprisingly isn't abusing her now he will be soon). Then they'd have ground to file a complaint with CPS and at least try to get those kids the hell outta there. And if that happened and if it WORKED then maybe that would finally wake the sister up from her stupidity. Now her children are gone because she chose an ab*ser over literally everything else.

[@Julienna]

99% he is holding her a hostage in the marriage by threatening to take her kids or something worse, if she does not obey. Only time will show, hopefully, she hires a good lawyer and take her kids away from him to a safe place.

[@onepieceisking5493]

I'm also betting that he's only retreating because everyone is now against him for what he did to op. Given how obsessed he is, I wouldn't be surprised if he goes back to scheming a way to really hurt op. He's also gotta be threatening his wife and he's taking her away as payback for exposing him.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Second story: that ESH comment. Wow. Even if I ignored OP's comment that her husband had a habit of making plans without consulting her, I couldn't imagine leaving my wife alone the day before a planned MAJOR surgery. Hell, the day before I had LASIK, I was freaking out, and that was a 20 minute out patient procedure. Only thing I could agree on in that comment is they do need to work on communication, or else there are some longer, more difficult roads ahead than need be.

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

Ikr? I was like “HIS life is going to change? What about hers?” Sounds like a bitter, angry man.

[@babybookworm003]

@@MasterBuilderDragonI actually sensed some projection

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

@@babybookworm003 Same

[@toothless3835]

I came down here to say the same thing. AND it has NOTHING to do with him going out. It has EVERYTHING to do with the husband not mentioning it. Telling his entire family, including her, that he's going to spend the entire day with her, and then bringing up the lunch an hour before he's going. He didn't say anything. If I'm going somewhere or my husband we'll mention it a few days before hand in passing. Just as a heads up. It wasn't about he spending time with his friend. It was him being an inconsiderate bastard.

[@carolroberts4614]

I married one of those!

[@greendiamondglow]

Geeze. Sister just looked dead at the trap and decided to throw her whole body in, for what? This man is obsessed with her sister, and she just gave him complete control of her life. Here's hoping she comes to her senses before she becomes a stat.

[@VesnaVK]

Obvs the BIL threatened to kill the children, or OP, or the parents, if sister didn't cut contact. I would believe him.

[@GaiaTheNatureWitch]

The sister or kids are gonna end up on a crime show,that man sounds completely unhinged

[@keijogirl]

Same thoughts. He may harm his wife and kids and be on a True Crime doc. I legit thought the same thing when I heard the ultimatum and that the sister left with him :(

[@8LyJu8]

​@@keijogirl I can imagine him harming then to hurt OP

[@jennifert8542]

Seriously my first thought was he sounds like a family annihilator

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The useless and manipulating OP has a chance to send a powerful message to the freakshow BIL but refuses to. Kind of like how she never got around to telling her parents or her sister about this and instead, manipulated her ex-husband into going after the BIL and everyone finding out that way. The OP KNEW her Ex would go after the BIL and yet, her Ex is the ONLY person she told about it. She was probably hoping her Ex would end up killing the BIL and then end up in prison for life making her divorce much easier.

[@eldeano9964]

The only thing a narcissist truly cares about is their fake public image. Expose that, and they have nothing. Be prepared that they'll do anything to keep that lie going, and it's not uncommon for them to turn everyone against you if you're a threat.

[@Kay-uy4xn]

Did everybody miss OPs husband 'has a habit of not considering or inviting me when making plans during our time off together'? It isn't just before the birth, she is probably resentful about all the other times not just the lunch. He isn't going to be any better once the baby arrives because he will want time on his own. I hope he looks after the baby so OP can too

[@datmanydocris]

Did everyone also miss that by her own description he asked her to not constantly bring this up, _and she refused to do so,_ which likely means that she has a long running habit of constantly bringing up everything wrong he's ever done in an attempt to demean him, _which is emotional abuse and further contributes to a toxic environment?_ Neither of the people in that story are blameless. _Both_ of them are doing things that make them suck. And judging by OP's little blurb in the update about how she "agreed she is NTA", it seems as if she isn't even acknowledging her part in this or taking accountability for her own wrongdoings, which likely means _she_ isn't going to get any better once the baby arrives either. Kindly stop blaming relationship issues that are clearly two-way on only one side of the relationship.

[@psyolytesaille]

​@@datmanydocrisBecause he's always been dismissive. That's clearly his way of resolving disagreements, figuring well it got brought up once and that's it for him. Whether it was actually resolved or not. There may be a history of her bringing it up anyway but that only happens because the other person didn't want to flesh it out for solving.

[@GlitteryGlitz]

@@datmanydocrisconsidering he said that while shutting down the in-the-moment unresolved issue, no it does not mean OP is likely to have a history of holding resolved issues over hi; if anything it means he _refuse_ to resolve issues and then once some time has passed he goes “why do you keep being up the past” all the while he avoids any accountability and continues on with _his_ pattern of bad behaviour. OP *is* blameless in this. Oh and what he is doing is actually abuse.

[@JW-vd4il]

@Kay-uy4xn THANK YOU, comment I was looking for. 😁 I'm also thinking... What's your take on this, Kay?.... OP is kinda yta because LADIES, STOP HAVING BABIES WITH MEN LIKE THIS. It is not gonna get better, girls. He is so wrong. But what do women think is going to change? Have a baby with an a-hole, WOW SURPRISE, still an a-hole. WHAT the HELLck?????? and I'm a child-free woman. I was on the fence in my younger years but ended up child-free because I would NOT have a child with a man that had not grown up. Couldn't even date those guys once I realized their thoughtlessness and immaturity; also dated excellent guys that would have been great Dads but we were just not a good match for each other. WHY do young women keep having babies with these a-holes???? My other consideration when I was younger would be if I had enough money to be a single Mom, if it didn't work out with a nice guy who maybe didn't have it quite together. Though I was financially self-sufficient, as a college drop-out, you all can figure I was never banking enough to afford a baby, independently. 😂 And even leaving out the whole BABY situation, NOBODY should stay with anyone who simply does not think of them or think about them. WHYYYYY????? To anybody who thinks that's okay, No. It's not. Therapy might help you. meanwhile here's a message for you: **You deserve more. Everybody does. YOU DESERVE to have people in your life who think of you and CARE for you. Yes, YOU.** ❤

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@datmanydocris If your partner constantly brings something up that you did that hurt them, and you repeat the behavior: congrats! You suck.

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 1: BIL must have been never told no growing up, otherwise he wouldn't have been this unhinged to end someone's marriage over being rejected. I feel sorry for OP's sister. I'm curious why she defend what her husband did to OP's marriage as a joke, but later chose to believe her parents and OP about what he did but then still chose her marriage over her family.

[@Flakey101]

That an easy answer, it tells you at the start. BiL is very rich.

[@mattwatson1974]

Bil is rich and also the children she has with him. She want them to have more opportunities than she did therefore that why she chose BIL over her family

[@Andrea.S.Alvey12]

Money.

[@Siinwu]

Money, plus he probably threatened she never would see her own kids again

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@Flakey101 I wouldn't doubt it but it could've also been that she just didn't want to believe someone she married and has kids with is a monster. She probably tried justifying it to herself somehow. How do you deal with finding out someone you love is a psycho who was using you to get revenge on your sibling for something super petty?

[@alyzu4755]

You know what? Instead of dismissing the types of comments BIL initially made to OP as "stupid comments from a drunk guy" and started calling them out on it, maybe this kind of cr@p would happen less often. Probably not in this case, because BIL is most likely an undiagnosed sociopath, but we have to normalize calling people out in this kind of B.S. As for the sister, hopefully she'll come to her senses before she and/or her kids are harmed. 😔 Finally, IMHO, OP should NOT reconcile with her ex. Too many things have been said and done. Add to that the fact that Ex didn't even consider that their accounts could have been hacked and just accepted that OP was cheating means that OP is probably right about their relationship not being strong enough. I hope they can both find peace.

[@thepunkkingkingofthederps7686]

Story 1: JESUS WHAT A LOSER!!!! This guy held onto a rejection for THAT LONG and tried to ruin a life just for throwing a tantrum! What a baby!

[@crowdemon_archives]

The incel energy is very strong

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

“I should cut him some slack because he is going to be looking after me and the baby for the next month” I have doubts about this. I mean, it’d be great if he stuck to his word despite how selfish he’s being at the moment but who’s to say he won’t go off to hang out with the boys later on and neglect OP? Especially with his efforts in silencing OP with his “I don’t want to hear about this again” attitude. Even his mom found fault with his decision, maybe she knows something we don’t.

[@bug-in-a-rug]

Yeah, with the whole “This is my last day of freedom” attitude, I’m really worried about OP

[@Becks-and-books]

Yes. It’s so weird he wants to be WITHOUT her when this is his last day with only the two of them as a family. The comment saying she’s wrong for that or diminishing what he’s going to be doing is ridiculous. Why he couldn’t have scheduled this on his first day off rather than the day before idk, and also while telling everyone he has no plans?? What if SHE would’ve planned something with her friends if she knew? What a man

[@bug-in-a-rug]

@@Becks-and-books Yeah! She’s about to be cut open and then an entirely new human is going to be removed from her body. But HE’S the one that deserves time to relax? Her body is about to go through serious trauma and he’s more worried about a lunch with a friend but she’s diminishing what he’s going to be going through?? If he doesn’t want to take care of his wife, why did he decide to do it in the first place? OP deserves better. It’s not a chore to take care of your spouse and child after going through something traumatic after YOU decided to do so.

[@owl7072]

​@bug-in-a-rug !!!! And on top of that, he wasn't telling anyone about what he was doing, he kept saying they'd both be home. A due date is not a set thing, it's a suggestion at best. What if she got hurt or the baby came a day early and nobody knew because they all thought he was with her but he _wasn't_ and she was by herself? "You're diminishing-" he's leaving his wife by herself the day before she's about to have a baby, I think a little "diminishing" is allowed currently.

[@notevenlistening6072]

Lmao, that one comment calling the imminent mother an ahole is so stupid. "His life is changing tomorrow. You don't understand." She's getting cut open, and risking death, and becoming a mother. Wth

[@Feralcottagecore]

Last story: when two hangry people speak, no one wins

[@danganryanne9499]

@@LostSoulchild89HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂

[@aelminiatures]

@@LostSoulchild89 Better?

[@patty-pat-pat]

she really came to Reddit over a pub lunch

[@Sparky0627]

​@@patty-pat-pat No, she came to Reddit because she has an inconsiderate husband problem! He makes plans WITHOUT her, and then gets surprised she's upset? He's told EVERYONE in the family that they're going to spend the day together, but makes separate lunch plans with his "friend"? And he's done that most weekends? No, it isn't a pub lunch that she's upset about, it's a husband problem. Instead of treasuring her and the 9 freaking MONTHS of carrying their child (foregoing alcohol, caffeine, certain foods (sushi, cheese, etc. that are harmful to babies), as well as having to pee way more often and having her body distorted) he choses to leave her alone (albeit for 1 to 2 hours) on the last day? Oh, but he's sacrificing a month to help her! /s Most large companies now have parental leave policies, so it's not that big a deal. My son split his leave to help his wife more.

[@NottyAries]

​@@patty-pat-patyou're really responding here thinking it's about a pub lunch?

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- Holy psycho stalker Batman! He married her baby sister just to get into OP’s life!

[@janedoe885]

Story 2, imo biggest issue is that the day before he becomes a father OP's husband isn't mainly excited or looking forward to the moment with his wife--he's mourning fatherlessness. The ESH person is delulu and doesn't seem to understand that C-sections are major surgeries. Giving birth is scary, having people cut into you is scary. Being around and supportive right before that is common sense.

[@Alexander21025]

He is not. He is concerned. We accept postpartum depression, but men having feelings is bad on Reddit. The guy wanted to talk one hour with a friend, and his wife made it a major issue as if he's abandoning her at the hospital. If reality is anything like Reddit, men should never marry or have kids. They are seen as nothing but emotionless tools.

[@leboganglucia2617]

Bruuhhh they were reaching for absolutely anything to justify their verdict.

[@janedoe885]

@@deadhead8323 We’re not going to agree on this lol. I do think having a ‘farewell to fatherlessness’ lunch or something isn’t terrible as a basic premise (bachelor/bachelorette parties exist)-but not knowingly the literal day before the birth. When it is literally the next day, having that be the headspace is kind of fucked up. Guy said in-story the lunch was for that. And for the record. If a loved one is about to have major surgery the next day and is worried/wants company, even if it isn’t a spouse or a birth… seems pretty obvious to stay with them. Running off for lunch specifically excluding that person would be a dick move there too. You don’t need hormones going crazy for it to be a dick move.

[@robertx8020]

@@deadhead8323 And the ONLY time this caan be done is ONE day before the 'event' ? Really?

[@NotoriousEKB]

​@@deadhead8323 So, only the husband gets a break? Where's her hour? Yeah, poor guy might have to act like an effing partner to look after his own child and his own wife...that's like bare minimum effort. And while he can still bounce out with his mates, when will his wife be given the same consideration? Your point might be valid if he hadn't hid the fact he was going to lunch after already making plans with his wife (and mum) for the day.

[@lina9535]

Story 1: Some guys (and girls) need to understand that people aren't required to "give you a chance". Take the "no" and move on. Sure it might suck, but that's just how life is. It doesn't always go your way, and you don't always get what you want. Those are very good life lessons to learn (imo, the sooner you learn them, the better off you'll be).

[@WiseWordsbyWiki]

Last story: to the esh comments, the bar for men to be emotionally intelligent are in the fucking ground apparently. Like i keep thinking when listening to these stories, "how am i, an autistic women, still expected to be more emotionally intuned to others than non autistic men?" Because like i can figure out if something is a social no no as can many autistic women, despite it literally not being something that comes naturally. But a nt dude can just be like this?

[@neru1584]

As an autistic girl me too, like even when stressed about something I don't say shit like that to the people I love, but then again I will never go through having a child or the panic of it so idk lol

[@datmanydocris]

Nobody making ESH judgements is saying that the husband wasn't in the wrong, they are acknowledging that the wife _was also in the wrong._ Yes, the husband is a dick for not considering his wife or at very least informing her of his plans, but based on what OP write it absolutely does seem like she does not value his contributions, doesn't bother to consider how having a child will change his life just as much as it will hers, and definitely makes it seem like she has a habit of holding everything her husband has ever done wrong over his head, which is a really crappy and emotionally abusive thing to do, which means she is also being a dick. And while the update definitely does make it seem like the husband acknowledged where he was wrong, OP adding that little part about how she "agrees that she is NTA" definitely makes it seem like she isn't acknowledging her own wrongs in this situation. Her poor behavior by her own description combined with her seeming refusal to even take accountability for her own part in this, instead blaming it on being hormonal (despite it seeming clear that she has probably been holding things over her husband's head for _long_ before the pregnancy), makes her suck as well.

[@WiseWordsbyWiki]

@@datmanydocris You interpret somebody not wanting a conversation to be ended because it wasn't actually resolved as "holding it over their head"? Well s*** I feel sorry for your partner. Also, if this dude can't do the bare minimum of informing his partner that his plans have changed at all, I really doubt how much he'll contribute to raising a baby for what he apparently only thinks is going to be one month? Like if you can't tell your partner. "Oh I'm going out for an hour." I don't really think you're the type of person who'll be like "sure sweetie. I'll take the night shift" So like it feels like she's less devaluing his contributions and is more very aware of how much of a disappointment this man is.

[@datmanydocris]

@@WiseWordsbyWiki First off, the conversation was resolved. He invited her, she declined. That is a resolution. Secondly, My GF forgets to tell me about her plans all the time. You want to now why? Because she's neitodivergent and sometimes just forgets to tell me until last minute. I have ADHD and occasionally end up doing the same thing. Neither of us do it out of malice or not caring for each other, we do it because of the way out brains work. You know _absolutely nothing_ about OPs husband, you have no clue if he might be neurodivergent, so you just assuming that because he forgets to tell his wife about things that he doesn't care about her is an _incredibly_ uncharitable assumption and frankly, what's that word you people love to throw around but never actually seem to abide by, of that's right, _ABLEIST._ It's frankly disgusting that you assume just because he can't remember to tell his wife about his plans that he is worthless. It frankly shows that you're a disgusting, judgemental person.

[@GlitteryGlitz]

@@datmanydocris it won’t change his life just as much as it will hers, that’s cap. OP will experience many changes that her husband won’t. He is not the one pregnant and giving birth, she is and she will have many life changes from that, that he simply won’t. And that’s not even adding in a number of social/socioeconomic factors that will affect her differently and greater than will him. The rest of your comment is cap too, you literally just recited his DARVO spiel, but another commenter already read you for filth on that

[@HawkTHSS2893]

why is that evil brother in law is not in pyschial prison?! i mean come on op hes pyscho in the head!

[@ArcaneNim]

Probably money. Tale as old as time, really. Would not be surprised if he wasn't "donating" to local authories and such.

[@335chr]

Money or it's fake

[@fluidwolf]

Heard he came from money so getting anything to stick would take a lot of doing

[@EnDB]

I can't count how many fathers who get paternity leave use it for everything except the baby.

[@sandeesandwich2180]

S1: I agree about the idea that it can't be that nothing can be done. Besides the emotional toll taken, there was a real financial cost as well, with the divorce and all the upheaval. And defamation. Can't believe a lawyer would not take this lawsuit in a heartbeat.

[@drewgon13]

The divorce hadn’t happened yet, and she continued the divorce even afterward, so it might be hard to pin it solely on him. Additionally you have the problem of potentially lacking evidence and that the husband jumped the gun threatening and exposing the guy publicly. A sufficiently good opposition lawyer could muddy this case so much there’d be little chance of getting anything.

[@HinataElyonToph]

@@drewgon13 there’s also the fact that BIL has money and could just drag it out until OP goes bankrupt as another form of revenge

[@Azulakayes]

Story 1: Sister has dug her and her children's graves for money and a so-called lifestyle.

[@TH-hy9kr]

Agreeing with you. I wonder if OPs sister is a SAH spouse which limits her ability to escape and easily find a job to support herself and kids in a place of her own.

[@Azulakayes]

@@TH-hy9kr She is college educated and can easily get child support. She could get a job, get child support and live with her parents who seem supportive. She doesn't want to consider any other options.

[@spibow]

​@@AzulakayesIt is NOT that easy and it sounds like she's being abused. I think sister Needs to leave. I just don't think it's as easy as "get a job and get child support". This man is a danger to her and her kids and we already know how he handles rejection. He might fucking kill them if she tries to leave

[@damien678]

​@@spibow And, if she successfully leaves him, he's gonna be all alone and blame OP. This could put her in even more danger.

[@paulinejackson5861]

Lifestyle is important though. It could be worth the cost.

[@babytone54]

Damn- sis in story one... just damn. I am sad for her. For OP I am infuriated with the legal system because revenge porn and all the stuff OP faced and she can't get her day in court. Just damn!

[@Siinwu]

welcome to the real world, courts are for the rich, not common people.

[@neru1584]

Story 2: theres always someone in these stories that give a yta or esh that just projects a crap ton onto the OP because theyre losers lmao

[@coalvarner1813]

Yeah wtf. There's a time and a place for everything, leaving your wife alone before surgery to mother your child is not the time or place to dip on her with no warning 🙄 controlling my ass, that person needed to grow a heart.

[@rubymeaddle]

Right did they miss OP is having MAJOR SURGERY TOMORROW?

[@Twowings2fly]

It's pretty much common courtesy to let your partner know if you have plans, even if they aren't included. A simple "Hey, I'm meeting *friend* tomorrow for a chat." doesn't kill anyone.

[@rachaelclark8465]

First story, What you need to do is, get a lawyer. Sue his ass for defamation. After the updates, I can't believe a lawyer wouldn't take your case. This is clear cut defamation. I am furious on your behalf.

[@babybookworm003]

When the defamer has more money and can get better lawyers though

[@ineedhoez]

Agreed. She is lying. She didn't look for an attorney. She is weak and pathetic and is so has such low self-worth and self-respect that she's constantly prioritizing the needs of others over herself. She's worried about her sister's safety and her sister literally ghosted her

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

I could depend on where they live. I didn't notice if there was a location stated but there could be some places that this would not fly as a lawsuit. On the flip side, if the BIL comes from a wealthy family with a lot of influence she may not have been able to find a lawyer willing to take the case.

[@jjr9792]

BIL is putting out major Ted Bundy vibes. 💀

[@aubreymorgan9763]

Count monte cristo- but over being told no

[@juanvilas5341]

Story 1: Instead of realizing she was been used to get close to OP by a narcissist, she chose to stay with the narcissist, she will suffer for months or years now becuase of that, even after having the evidence in her face. Some people just deserve some things, and you can't do anything about it because they won't listen to you no matter what you say, not so much out of manipulation but out of pride.

[@yusuka4ev830]

Her children will suffer to. I don't know what kind of stupid you have to be, to cut off a family that loves and support you.

[@ineedhoez]

For the love of money!!!

[@VesnaVK]

Obvs the BIL threatened to kill the children, or OP, or the parents, if sister didn't cut contact. I would believe him. How is everyone missing this. Even OP doesn't get it

[@CcpLb44]

Revenge porn is a felony in most states. She needs to press charges.

[@goatkiller666]

S1 - OP: “Husband, I’m not sure I can trust you now. Don’t tell anybody until my sister isn’t in the same room as him.” Husband: “I would have believed you, but I love you TOO MUCH.” Sister BIL: “You can’t take a joke!” WTF? Nobody except OP is a decent person, here.

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: This story again! BIL is a psychopath, OP's STBX can kick rocks, and her sister is a greedy idiot. S2: NTA. Sounds self-centered and lacks communication skills. If he doesn't fix that, they're in for a rocky marriage.

[@datmanydocris]

Nah, S2 is a clear ESH. As the one commenter pointed out, OP isn't exactly blameless in this whole thing. They way she wrote it absolutely does seem like she doesn't value his contributions, doesn't consider how having a baby will change his life as well and also definitely makes it seem like she has a habit of holding every single time he screws up over his head which is an incredibly crappy and abusive thing to do. Good people don't hold things over other people's heads. And while the update definitely made it seem like the husband acknowledged how he was in the wrong, OP's little blurb about how she "agreed that she was NTA" makes it definitely seem that she is not taking any accountability for her own poor behavior in this situation and therefore will likely continue it in the future. They were both in the wrong and it seems based on what OP wrote that only the husband is taking accountability for that. It takes two to tango and if she doesn't fix _her_ issues, the marriage is going to be just as rocky.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Story 1 the BIL is psycho and almost as bad as the OP is. What???? Yes, think about it. The OP manipulated her Ex by him being the ONLY ONE she told about all of this. She told him KNOWING he would go after the BIL. She was hoping the Ex would kill the BIL and then he would end up in prison for the rest of his life thus expediting their divorce and giving her everything. If the OP was so "scared" of the BIL and for her sister and her kids and her parents, why didn't she ever tell them about what was going on??? Why tell JUST the Ex??? Not to mention the hokie excuse she had of no cops or lawyers helping her regarding the Revenge Porn despite most states having Revenge Porn Laws as well as there being a Federal Revenge Porn Law in place that passed a couple of years ago. So, either the OP is a very sketchy and psychotic person herself or she is lying about this story being real.

[@peterhobson3262]

Second story: The idiot who tried to make OP TAH is an idiot. OP realizes that her husband is a selfish jerk who'll spend as little time as possible taking care of the baby. The "don't bring this up again" demand from the husband is a real AH move and OP should watch husband for possible abusive patterns.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

So the husband can't go out to lunch with a friend before the baby is born??? I bet if the husband was complaining about his wife going to lunch with a friend the day before she gave birth you and all the other crazed feminist white knighters would be screaming that he is controlling her. If anything, it seems like the wife is the potential controlling abuser.

[@susankaempfer8427]

The one around 23 minutes in? Yes. Mental gymnastics!

[@JoJoGranum]

I have no sympathy for the OP’s sister. I’d get a lawyer and sue for defamation. Keep all the texts . Sue him for stalking. I doubt he’s actually suicidal

[@alexanderhenby1362]

God, I feel for OP and her husband. All the people jumping on him for not believing her 100 percent would have told him to divorce her cheating ass given that amount of evidence and "of course she'll lie" it's just such a sad story because of a sad, pathetic husk that dares call itself a man

[@sylviajones6745]

You would think checking the pictures of the ones you two took together, against the ones he shared. Such an obvious question

[@jtmarshall]

​@sylviajones6745 you do realize if they took the pictures together or he already had copies that doesn't stop her from being able to send them to other people right...

[@blackknight6477]

​@@sylviajones6745but most people won't think logically in situations like this, a random guy message's you says he's hooking up with your wife and has actually nudes of her at that point nothing makes sense and you feel betrayed and angry

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Your sister is in danger. How long before he takes his hate for you out on her?? The children? This whole thing sounds like a V.C. Andrews novel.

[@TH-hy9kr]

Minus the incest

[@VesnaVK]

OP is living a fantasy that sister knows he's a better person. Obvs the BIL threatened to kill the children, or OP, or the parents, if sister didn't cut contact. I would believe him.

[@rhiannonhamilton4427]

A person whose obsession is this rooted in petty hatred is a dangerous person. the fact BIL had years to plan on infiltrating OPs family circle via the sister to keep tabs on her and ruin her relationship to keep her single, shows he patient and holds onto any lil grievances. A dangerous combo. This is not over and the sister and her kids are in danger if you allow him to leave town. Charge him for slander, and buy time to talk with the sister! Make a plan to help her and the kids! If he leaves with her, OP will NEVER see her again for ANY reason

[@CareyBilley]

S2 OP's husband is totally clueless and self absorbed, what happens if anything happens to OP while she's alone and he's having drinks and pretending he's single for one more go around with friends. His wife and child aren't a high enough priority for him to stick around, he's on a one month vacation now and this is only going to get worse for OP because of this inconsiderate a'hole.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

You know that he kept those photos of OP saved in some locked folder for future uses and most likely himself too.

[@Domino365]

The sister is going to end up on a true crime show or documentary.

[@ayanaatthrivebewhole]

With story one, it's sad, because we are taught to accept and minimize a lot of bad behavior. There are so many people around her who probably minimized his behavior at the bar when they first met as not a big deal, and that made her accept him as part of her life, instead of sounding the alarm of how dangerous her brother-in-law could be! His behavior on night one was extremely scary behavior. I hope people learn from this and recognize red flags. What makes them

[@jackwatt8988]

1: guy is essentially a psychopath. He meets OP, asks her out, gets rejected, and then over a decade later is still sour about it and tries to sabotage her life.

[@NessaEllenesse]

First story: When it come to lawsuits, what the person did isn't as important as what the evidence can prove.

[@VidGirl88]

Ex-husband didn't listen to OP when she was defending herself about the cheating allegations, and he also didn't bother listening to OP about not contacting the brother-in-law before she could speak to and warn her family properly! He made it even worse! No wonder OP still divorced him. Hope she finds a better partner. I'd still sue the BiL for all this.

[@KingKeanuTheFirst]

The BiL had sent photos to his friend that shared it to OP's husband and the face of overly convincing evidence he chose to trust it, how should he be blamed for it. It's like flat-eathers refusing evidence that the earth is round other than the fact that the info was a false-positive.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

I hope OPs ex will be forever miserable for the rest of his days!

[@tyrrollins]

Her ex is just as much of a victim as she is. He should have put the bil in the hospital permanently. Th3 BIL is a master manipulator and psycho. Her sister and kids were always doomed unless he was put in the ground.

[@shells500tutubo]

@@andreavanhoof6047 I don't. I hope he will learn from this, and also maybe do something to make him an only child.

[@matiascamposaliaga8681]

This is ridiculous. He had evidence of clear cheating. It amazes me how op is entitled saying "hE sHoUld've bEliEvEd mE", he had evidence, a solid story. He would've been stupid if he believed her. Both op and her ex were victims, but it's true that he made things worse for op and her family, at that point he probably didn't care anything. Actions have consequences, and that applies for everyone involved in this story. Let's stop demonizing one of the victims just because of acting like a normal person with self-respect and clear boundaries should.

[@PeterShipley1]

story 1: Sue brother-in-law for legal costs in any financial damage caused by divorce.

[@didntwantayoutubechannel8531]

Story 1 - OP’s sister needs to keep that same energy when the husband turns on her now that she’s isolated. Live with the monster and MONEY you chose.

[@VesnaVK]

Don't you get it. Sister can't leave him. He told her that her would kill the OP, or other family. Obviously that's why she abruptly changed.

[@LittleGreenCar514]

Story 2: For contrast, the evening before I was scheduled to be induced, my partner and I went to the pub to visit our friends one last time before kiddo was born. One of our friends was the bartender and made sure that all of my drinks were alcohol-free and my partner's drinks were perfect. We had so much fun joking around! Thing is, my partner brought up the idea with me first... before he invited our friends. Since one of our friends was scheduled to work at the bar, and we wanted to see him, we went there.

[@Tinnitus1445]

I kinda get things from her ex-husband’s perspective. He was played my a sociopathic freak, and that freak planned it all very well. Had the friend not acted of the crumb of decency he had in his own pig shit heart he would’ve gotten away with it all. From the ex’s perspective his wife cheated on him and he had physical evidence and a confession from the affair partner, people have been found out with far less. It also sounds like he was seriously hurt by it all, just like OP was. It wasn’t just a rumor it was a well laid plan from a monstrous human being. I also get his anger when he found out. How is he supposed to control himself when something like that comes to light? The fact that he didn’t try to kill the BIL is a testament to his self control. It’s easy to say “well he should’ve done X” when we look at it from a detached and calm third party perspective but for him it was intense, personal, and real. We wanted some caliber of justice, we wanted someone to answer for it, we wanted to hurt without some worm smirking in the background of his upturned life. Who wouldn’t want that if they had been turned into a cudgel to club their loved ones to death with?

[@bessieburnet9816]

Yes, exactly. All easy for OP to say when she fully knows she didn't cheat, but he didn't. He just got really good proof that just so happened to be fake.

[@DragonicGamer32]

In story 1 it's such a bitter sweet ending. But at least BIL saw real consequences for his actions. He never thought his hatred would be aired out for the world to see. I also hope that sister will open her eyes one day. He gave her an ultimatum. And one that is very dangerous for her.

[@nekorei2023]

Today is my mother's birthday and this week sucked a little, im glad i could be a bit loose today tho

[@sylviajones6745]

I can sympathize, this is the week that my mom passed away. Two of my daughters were pregnant when she died. Enjoy the memories of your mum.

[@Eltonscruggs]

Fascinating video, Let's stop taking relationship and family for granted. I have battled depression since my wife left me. I have tried all I can to make her see that I love her with everything I am made of but she has insisted on leaving. This has made me so empty, and I do not know what to do. I can barely function properly at work. I am frustrated and miserable. I really miss her.

[@Eltonscruggs]

I'm keen on meeting the counsellor you're talking about. What steps should I take?

[@Eltonscruggs]

Thank you for this information. I have just looked her up on Google. impressive.

[@MH-ku5kn]

It is not his last day of being a father.... it's his ninth month. Just like it's OPs ninth month of being a mother. The baby coming tomorrow doesn't change that.

[@D-M-K-1-2]

Story 1: I can't stand people who claim they love someone, and then won't even give them any chance to explain and believe some random person instead.

[@Flakey101]

They give them a chance, but the guy not only had nude pictures of Op, and with BiL behind it probably has dates where OP has no alibi. I am sorry if some one gave me real photo evidence, and a convincing story to go with them, it is going to take a lot more than crying and saying it I did not do it to change my mind. Also Op is so stupid to even send nudes in the first place and doubly stupid to keep copies on her own phone

[@alexanderhenby1362]

He believed someone who had pictures, he had "receipts" and of course a cheater is going to say they didn't cheat. Op would have believed it if it had been the other way.

[@alexanderhenby1362]

​@Flakey101 its not stupid to take and send nudes to your husband. It is stupid to give your sister all your passcodes

[@TheBlueDsc]

When that random person has a lot of compelling evidence, including REAL nude pictures, it's more understandable I feel. It's also understandable to not give a chance to explain, because what real cheater is going to just be like "Okay yeah, you got me". Your default stance is going to be that they're lying, so them telling the truth isn't going to matter.

[@Mewse1203]

100% and then when he finds out what happened and why, he was so fucking selfish. Yes, he was victimized in this as well, but it would always about o. P, and he should let her handle it because it was her family. She specifically asked him to do so and he couldn't get out of his ego long enough to not make everything worse.

[@BlueJuan85]

Dang story 1 BIL is unhinged and I can't believe OP's sister decided to stick with him even with the evidence out there. She was mad at OP because she ruined her hubby's rep? WTF? It is even worse what he has been doing eff his damn rep. So in the end she decided to ditch the family and go with him I can see that won't end well with her in the future with his level of bitterness and hate towards someone. She better pray she doesn't cross him.

[@AndyyWithAY]

There was an insane neighbor story on AITA over the weekend, I'm surprised you haven't convered it yet, Mark. People in the comments were saying Hyacinth Bucket. I only got the reference from you talking about it in past videos

[@kaitlynhall2112]

What was it called? I love hyacinth

[@carolroberts4614]

It's Bouquet!!

[@kaitlynhall2112]

@@carolroberts4614 every time I go in a store and see an obnoxious hat I do my hyacinth impression

[@TH-hy9kr]

OMG...my brain read this in a Patricia Routledge voice. Thank you for the fun memory of this terrific program..gonna have to rewatch it. ❤

[@tossedsaladandscrambledeggs52]

Story 2: Some commenters are bizarre in their take. OP even said - husband going out for lunch WASN'T the problem. It's another episode where he disregards her that's the problem! Hubby Dearest was bragging to all and sundry that he was going to stay home with OP all day but he had no intention of doing so. None. Nada. Rien. And he left OP home completing tasks for the baby's care. What, in addition to putting the baby monitor together, was yet to be done? But again, OP wouldn't have had an issue with the lunch if he had taken her into consideration. It's really sad that OP is tied to this guy now. Her resentment over being consistently disregarded is growing and unless the two figure out how to improve their communication, this will not improve.

[@LiveLocallyNow]

S1: OPs stalker may not “be in love” with her but obviously he is obsessed with her and obsessed over her rejection. He dedicated his adult life to making sure if he can’t have OP, then no one can. The fact he was gleeful over her divorce and enraged over her dating makes it so that he wants her. I hope she sues him. OPs sister is a FOOL. I always wonder how seemingly smart, well rounded people with a healthy family dynamic can make stupid choices like this. I worry for her children and my heart breaks for them, their isolation, their being ripped from loving grandparents, their weak spined mother who won’t protect them, and their psychotic father. The only sane reason I can think she stays with him is because he has enough power to keep her children from her and this is her only way to protect them. Otherwise, she’s pathetic.

[@Azulakayes]

OP's sister has chosen her psycho husband for money, which is the stupidest reason to remain with an evil person who clearly doesn't love her and used her to get close to OP.

[@VesnaVK]

Obvs the BIL threatened to kill the children, or OP, or the parents, if sister didn't cut contact. I would believe him. How is everyone missing this.

[@DerekScottBland]

Story 1 - it's not surprising lawyers say there's nothing that can be done. I'm betting the lawyers that OP can afford are generally the "no fee unless we win" type, and BIL is, according to OP, very wealthy, so he can hire better lawyers.

[@kentario1610]

Oh, I hadn't considered BIL getting better lawyers, my thought was "there's not much payout in a case like this so I'll just say there's no point trying"

[@catsithx]

Story one is a wild ride.

[@ineedhoez]

Story one... she is a doormat. Which people piss me off. She's worried about protecting her sister and her sister isn't worried about her.

[@aylanae4797]

A word

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 1: If they live in the States the c word is the worst thing you can call a woman. The best friend telling OP it was a "harmless comment" isn't her friend. If she was her friend she'd be pissed that anyone would call her that. You're telling me this man has held a grudge for over a DECADE for being rejected... & now actively wants OP to be single & miserable for the rest of her life?! WTF is wrong with this man? Him saying he wants to take his own life... it's for attention. This man is WAY too full of himself to go through with it. And how could the sister stay when this man said it "was a joke"? Was she not around when the marriage fell apart?? Is she so fucking blind that her sister's pain means nothing? The man is a sociopath. A someone who was once friends with a sociopath it's hard to tell because they're so charismatic. The red flags were there. For almost a decade. It wasn't until he threatened me physical harm TWICE did I finally see it. With the exception of my best friend he turned all our mutuals against me. I've only spoken to one friend since then who moved on from his friendship with the guy. Hopefully one day the sister will open her damn eyes & get her & the kids away from him. Story 2: "cut me some slack babe, I'm gonna be taking care of you & the baby for the next month & I need some me time" 👀 she's been carrying a child for 9 months & is going to have the baby CUT out of her & you think "woe is me"?!?! PRIORITIES DUDE! I also think people are forgetting (especially that one redditor) that they BOTH agreed that today was a "us hanging around the house all day preparing"

[@aaronsouthard8366]

The lawyers were prolly feeding off of his prior high status as staying hands off. She needs to find a shark or take her story to the news specifically stating that law enforcement wont go hands on with him despite the evidence

[@simonbrushes]

Story 1: Regarding the legal advice, OP most likely went to one attorney who clearly didn’t want to take her case and she took their opinion as fact. If she is in the United States, she 100% can sue the person.

[@TH-hy9kr]

Unfortunately because he is rich, he'd probably beat her by just exhausting all her $ in a legal battle.

[@LadyDnMiller]

I cannot belive there's nothing to do legally!?

[@susanvanophem4569]

OP, you need to check your laws about alienation of affection. You may be able to sue your brother-in-law using this staute. Never answer his calls or your sisters. Let them leave voice mails for evidence. Then call your sister back. You can also see if your state is a single party state for recording. Take this jerk down. Your sister will put up with the abuse till he throws her away and comes back to the family. She should check to see if that prenuptial is non enforceable because he did not marry her in good faith. Call Gloria Alridge. I bet she'd love to take your case. Good luck sweetie!

[@MrRyukage]

God,I just knew when there was an update the sister would do that because She's doesn't want to be a single mom. The toxic BIL gets the satisfaction of splitting the family (for now until karma hits him)

[@battlecat6766]

How absolutely terrifying to find out that your BIL is so insidious and manipulative. How many peoples life has that man upturned and destroyed and then threatening to end himself?! Gross

[@queenwilco3723]

I can't understand the comments condemning OP about feeling left out and alone when hubby said that. First he fully made plans without discussing or considering her AT ALL! he dropped it last minute which I'm itself seems suspicious. It's like he dropped it in like he was talking about laundry and got upset she didn't just accept it as such. He did it that way because it was a big deal. It was BOTH of their last day without a child in hand but she hasn't been child free since she learned she was growing another human and every decision she's made since then has to consider 3 people, not just 2 and he can't even take the time to consider her. Not to mention his comment about "taking care of both of you" while biologically she will still be doing majority of the work while healing and producing milk to sustain the baby. Like she's just taking in rest while he does everything. If he needed a moment, any spouse that considers the other person would say "honey, I was thinking about taking a couple of hours to do this, is that OK or do you have plans or just want me here with you?". But he fully left her out while she's going through all of the fear and emotions and preparing. Even if that's what he wanted how would having his wife along for lunch somehow take away from getting that time before becoming parents? Because his wife incubating their child would be a reminder I guess? Nevermind she's LIVING it and would probably have enjoyed the distraction or even needed him there with her to get emotionally prepared for this big change. Divorce worthy, no. Hopefully just a mistake and be learns but unfortunately for some this lack of consideration and trying to guilt her into how he wants her to act and getting upset that she didn't just accept it, is a part of a character flaw that is who this person is as a whole.

[@phantomflower6749]

Imagine being soooo consumed with obsession and hate, just because someone from years ago, who probably didn't give you a second thought, rejected you. To the point you make a plan to infiltrate her life by marrying her sister to keep tabs on them, verbally bully them every chance you get, and get someone in on your schemes to ruin this person's marriage. This is obsession of the highest and most dangerous degree. He made it his mission to destroy and humiliate op. That is his sole drive for life! And to get back at OP and her family for his humiliation, he separated the sister away from them. Ops sister is not safe! Her kids are not safe! If he moves away op is NEVER gonna see them again! File for a slander case to at least buy time and get to the sister! Offer her and her kids a place to stay if the divorce does happen! Just get her away from him!

[@CloudsAndConstellations]

In Utah, that's criminal defamation. I used to live in Utah and defaming someone character can land you in jail there. Also, it sounds like OP's husband BEEN lookin fuh anyway out and he took it.

[@jodilynnt9418]

2nd story, NTA. So far I see no one mentioning OP’s husband told mother they’d be home all day, but at 11am he was upset mom hadn’t arrived. So which is it? Husband is apparently not aware he lied since he wasn’t planning on being there all day, hadn’t told his wife or his mother the truth.

[@haroldvazquez]

The guy a lunatic!

[@Tentacl]

11:46 wow, the mental gymnastics - the dude was victim to a fraud that cost his MARRIAGE, he is a victim too. You don't neer authorization from other victims to defend yourself.

[@heatheraucoin5832]

The BIL waited over a decade to seek revenge

[@moshigal156]

Oof if I wasn’t sure about getting back with hubby or not, I would sure as hell be refusing to take him back after he went behind my back after he went behind my back and blew up my family after I SPECIFICALLY asked him not to! After accusing me like that and saying such horrible things to me, the path to reconciliation would’ve at LEAST needed to start with hubby following all my wishes in this situation 150%.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 1: Exhusband became the asshole when he went against OP’s wishes and confronted BIL. That choice may very well have doomed OP’s sister and her children. Plus it made it clear that he’s still prioritizing himself over OP and not believing her when she asks him to stop and think.

[@kristinicole2055]

I immediately thought.. oh this creepy mf found her sister just to spite her. He’s a stalker.

[@jasminedavis3030]

Story 1: Unfortunately, women like OOP’s sister will never learn until he starts putting his hands on her and the kids. She’s been basically conditioned by that psychopath to believe he truly loves her and is willing to keep their family together, but in reality with her now isolated away from friends and family, he WILL become abusive. He’ll take this anger out on her, he’ll beat her black and blue for being “allowing her ‘slut sister’ to embarrass” in front of everyone he knows. He’ll blame her for having to move away, and how he can never show his face again. She’s essentially turned herself into his emotional and physical punching bag. Even if she tries to get away from him, he’ll use the children as pawns maybe even threaten to kill them. This man is a literal psychopath and OOP’s sister has just walked right into his arm

[@Hajiyt]

'She’s been basically conditioned by that psychopath' or she's just greedy and wants money. I know it's hard to believe but not every woman is a victim and women can be greedy to the point of self-destruction too.

[@sierrastanley3109]

Im both sad and happy for OP in story 1) she is so strong for getting through this horror show and the hope at the end is great to see!

[@Akemi.24-45]

Good afternoon, Mark and Poppy! Have an awesome Tuesday. ♥️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Much love telinha 🤗🤗🧇🧇💜💜

[@BraveryWing26]

Poor first OP. But I am glad that BIL wont be able to ruin her life anymore and she moved on. That's a great first step towards happiness

[@Icalasari]

Story 1 - He isolated her. Oh god I hope she gets out of this

[@jennifersilves4195]

Dude was on PATERNITY leave, said repeatedly he wasn't foing anything, then sprung lunch on her at the last minute.

[@1kokokala10]

Story 1: Bil is a downright psycho, we get that. But so many other people, namely the men, are such AH and massive failures to the women in this story. The husband for 1 believing a stranger and now even questioning OP or believing her because of "overwhelming evidence" despite that evidence coming out of absolutely nowhere. 2 For deciding to be some big hero despite his ex's warnings and confronting BIL before the sister had a chance to be removed from the very dangerous situation, thus throwing her FURTHER into that psycho's arms. Ex Husband is just absolutely selfish and egotistical the entire time. Then there's the fucking friend who decided to go along with this BS because "that's his homie" But did a complete 180 from the guilt and confessed anyway. Like, why do it to begin with if you KNEW it was wrong to do. Just all the men here give me the ick and I hope OP finds better. I hope the sister stops being so love blind and get out of that dangerous situation. Story 2: NTA. I do not understand people wanting to give the husband the benefit of the doubt because "His life is changing too." Okay? And? He had over half a year to come to terms with this. Yea, a month of taking care of OP and the baby is exaggerating because that means nothing. It is the barest of minimums he can do when his wife is cut open to bring their child into the world. And 1 month is definitely not a lot of time for OP to heal from that, so I agree that it is very much an exaggeration.

[@Flakey101]

Even if Op had her "talk" with her sister before it blew up, the sister was always going to run back to her husband's money, opps sorry husband. The ex did nothing to change that situation.

[@1kokokala10]

@@Flakey101 That's the thing you never know, I mean she seemed receptive when the parents mentioned it to her. If Op had the time to sit with her and talk it out like adults, maybe she'd understand, but we'll never know because all she saw was OP's ex slandering her husband and assaulting him. It definitely didn't help when the husband went back AGAIN to threaten the BIL. Like that basically sealed the deal for the sister.

[@HighPhoenix1754]

You seem to be blaming the husband for being provided with, what seemed to be, overwhelming evidence of infidelity. It's likely for texts to be faked. Unlikely for nudes that only he and she would have access to. I can't blame him. This is.. pretty damning. Ex isn't a POS for believing what he saw, afterall, if someone is capable of lying, they're capable of putting on a believable act too. He was a victim as much as she was. He's still crappy for confronting the POS BIL without OPs go ahead.

[@1kokokala10]

@HighPhoenix1754 you seem to forget the rest of his actions that were his and his alone. First off, the nudes that were provided as proof were nudes that she sent to her husband, and the psycho managed to get a hold of. Shouldn't something have seemed off if all the pictures were the same? Second, usually, these cheating accusations are believed when they come with other shady behavior like lots of time out of the house. Op hasn't shown that behavior because she wasn't cheating. Regardless that could've been forgiven if he was hurt by the cheating. The worse thing he did was after he found out it was false and OP asked him not to do anything so that she can get her sister away from that dangerous man, he completely disregarded that and decided to attack the man anyways. Then, he went back AGAIN to threaten the man. Even if the sister would've seen reason, there's absolutely no way she would've now with how the husband acted.

[@HighPhoenix1754]

@@1kokokala10 I didn't forget. You didn't read my comment all the way through. 1. "Usually" isn't "Always." There are some folks on this world who are good at what they do, and, no one, and I mean no one wants to be played for the fool. 2. There have been, and continue to be situations where the cheating spouse showed NO signs of infidelity, and then, one day, boom. 3. Also, the "they're the same photos that was sent to the husband" isn't an indication of innocence. If anything, it makes things worse because there are chick's who send the same photos to their affair partner as they do their spouse. The fact is, whether you want to accept it or not, they both got fucked over here through clever manipulation and fuckery. There's no escaping that. And if you read my comment to its conclusion, you'd see that I agreed with you that what he did by confronting the brother in law was not on and was unacceptable-- even if I understand why he did it. I know I'd want to run the psychopath who destroyed my marriage into the ground, but, it's whatever.

[@ayanaatthrivebewhole]

With story one, I really don't understand how the police can't get involved! He's told photos, is stalking op, and did revenge p***, and then is generally exhibiting a lot of dangerous signs of stalking. This is a murder waiting to happen!