I Gave The Bride An Ultimatum If She Wants Me In Her Wedding, Her Friend Is Out! r/Relationships

[@jacearmor5274]

S1: NTA. Kathy is an insecure brat. S2: NTA. This is assault and abuse! Glad OP dumped her!!

[@FriedaMMartin]

Countdown to my job interview tomorrow, here’s to nailing it and getting the job

[@seangarvey8232]

Good luck. You'll do great.

[@FriedaMMartin]

@@seangarvey8232 if I get this job I’ll have a $2 per hour increase in wages so that will be a nice bonus

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

Good luck! I’ll pray for you to get it 🙏

[@Pixiebabee]

GOODLUCK BRO YOU GOT THIS!!!

[@karlenerae1795]

Good luck! You got this!

[@AndyyWithAY]

Wait WTF. After everything she did before, including getting other people to call OP names, she made TikToks and included his sister's miscarriage?? OP was right to take and burn the letters, but he shouldn't stop the tradition. The chances of finding someone else this cartoonishly evil or out of touch are extremely low

[@paulagoeringer9466]

I agree with everything you said except for the extremely low chances of finding someone else that ridiculously evil. I've run into too many people like that. It's still hard to believe they exist and that there's more than one that dumb and evil. I'm starting to think I'm an idiot magnet 🧲. 😂

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

The only reason she is going to extremes to get him back is she's stuck paying for a lease she CAN'T AFFORD..

[@Odd_Interaction]

But sadly still a possibility.

[@jasonrustmann7535]

Lmao with modern women? Sorry bro, but odds ain't good he wouldn't find one just as insane, if not worse. 304s just ain't worth the hassle.

[@jasonrustmann7535]

​@@paulagoeringer9466 you're not, man. Women are just that low quality these days. Good ones are far and few between. I got extremely lucky with my wife. But it took decades before I found a genuinely good woman, and I'd crossed paths with countless ratchet and classless ones before her.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 2: I think this might be the equivalent of the "He changed after marriage", she thought she had him pinned down because he moved in, but forgot to do the right step of putting him on the lease. So he didn't actually have a stake in where she moved, thus she had nothing on him.

[@LoveableNiki]

I heard this story in another video. In a comment, OP said the landlord wouldn't let two people be on the lease. GF was adamant that she be the one on it. OP was given the greatest gift by this landlord.

[@AngelaNortonTyler]

S2: SOOOOO smart to find and burn those letters! She would have posted them forever.

[@Lordofthelosers01]

That's all she really cared about because they brought her so much Tik Tok attention. Well that and someone to share the rent bill with.

[@lux0rd01]

Story 1 doesn't even sound like an ultimatum. If youd said "fire her or im out" is an ultimatum. "I cant be maid of honor due to her bullying and disrespect" is a boundary.

[@x1tekja]

I wholeheartedly agree. It's a very mature and direct response to something so untenable.

[@lina9535]

To me it sounds like an ultimatum and not a boundary. "Either *she* is out, or *I* am". Still NTA though

[@ElleD308]

I find it insane that wmen like Kathy have a boyfriend and some of THE most wholesome, loving and wonderful wmen I've met can't get a date. It's mind-blowing

[@paulagoeringer9466]

This. What is so appealing about 💩 personalities? It's mind boggling. Are there that many masochistic idiots out there? Who loves misery that much? I don't get it.

[@amznmmdprncss]

She must be gorgeous, because it truly is not her personality that draws them in, :[.

[@trilbynhiss]

I thought the same thing but then I've seen couples where the guy seems to think that he can "save" the woman when she's clearly a mess and will drag him down too. The hero complex is strong in some people, unfortunately not their common sense.

[@truthseeker9249]

I was the ugly duckling in school. The stupid R-worded (You know what R word I'm talking about) ugly duckling at that. The world is very cruel towards Autistic people. Between being supposedly stupid with a weird personality nobody likes and supposedly being the most hideous person in the world, I never thought I would find love. I thought I would die alone. But yet here I am years into a serious relationship with my soulmate. Another outcast who thought he'd never find love either and would also die alone. Not because of his looks or personality but because he's always just been invisible to most people. We understand each other, we support each other, we build each other up and we actually love each other for who the other person is, all that they are. We both have often said that if we can find true love then anyone can. But we were not talking about people like this b**ch. This b**ch is just like the people who mercilessly bullied me in school and having a bad family life is no excuse. You don't get to purposefully make others suffer just because you're suffering and expect to get away with it. What Elliot and Kathy have is most certainly NOT true love or even love at all. It seems that Elliot looks at her like a rabid puppy. Crying, whimpering, in pain and slightly agitated. She's adorable and she's hurt, weak and kind of pathetic and he feels sorry for her which is what keeps him with her. But she's still dangerous and a threat so he stays by her also to not arouse her anger and risk getting bitten.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

As I've always said, I'm not enough of a bitch for guys to even ask me out. It's sad how so many claim to not want drama, but when someone is even keeled, they shy away.

[@Swnsasy]

S2: WTF?!?!NTA Oh hell no! If this was a man touching a woman's va jay jay all hell would have broken loose!! For her to sit there laughing while her friends touched his "package" and then sharing intimate things between them two and laughs and acts like it's no big deal is just gross!! How disgusting!! Just because you say sorry that doesn't mean all is swept under the rug!! Nasty!!

[@JoJoGranum]

This! It’s S.A. IMO

[@horseheadlegman414]

@@JoJoGranumno pretty sure thats also by law in most places

[@JoJoGranum]

@@horseheadlegman414 it’s just people won’t admit men get assaulted too (I’m biologically female, nonbinary gender)

[@pippo17173]

Lets also add the fact she was influencer and spill this out to the internet. The post didn't made it clear but I hope that is just op not getting the full story there about her tik tok because that a warning sign if I ever see that.

[@I_am_transcendental]

OPs ex is a psycho. Run boy, run fast and run far. She is not your responsibility. She made this mess and should stew in it.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 2. Imagine the roles were reversed and it was OP and his guy friends doing and saying the same thing these women did to OPs girlfriend. Police would have arrested them all for S/A, and everyone would be in an uproar going after OP and his friends with pitchforks!

[@kichikitsu]

... in no world are police siding with victims. if the "roles were reversed," the police would either not have been called or would slut-shame and blame GF for it. if the police were called in the actual situation, they would have congratulated and blamed OP for it. stop acting like women are believed or "unanimously sided with" when they're victims. they aren't. you can point out the fact that OP was assaulted by women nonconsensually touching (getting "handsy") and making unwarranted sexual advancements towards him WITHOUT dismissing the still very real fight female victims face to be believed. victims, no matter their gender, are not believed. no matter their gender, they cannot win. and in the same vein, predators, no matter their gender, ARE protected.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

@@kichikitsu Thank you. This needs to be repeated more. They would blame a woman for being alone with that many men and ask her if she wanted to have an or*y and had regrets.

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

If the genders were reversed there would be more outrage over the reddit story. But like other commenters already mentioned I doubt anything good would be done if authorities were called.

[@paulclay4229]

Story 1: thats not an ultimatum. Thats a reasonable boundary. OP is refusing to deal with verbal abuse.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 2: *“She got her friends and sister to apologise to me and they told me to quit playing games and go home now that they had apologised.”* An apology is only genuine if A) it comes with no strings attached and B) the person who’s apologizing truly intends to change their behavior. Not sure what girlfriend and company think they’re accomplishing here.

[@22cedrick]

Let's be real the one that grab his thing is not her friend no more she is going to try and get that the ex set herself up to fail SMH even if he stayed😅

[@pippo17173]

It really tells you that this entire time, the gf saw op as a possible simp to push around and be supreriour towards him. The GF however, got karma.

[@SkyEcho751]

I'm willing to bet that the 'Apology' started with "I'm sorry but..." or "I'm sorry *you felt hurt"* Which is just another sign of a non-apology.

[@dimsufferer9951]

Also, in one of the Reddit comments mentions he was only wearing a towel when he came out and that one of her friends grabbed his “Johnson” so this man was legitimately sexually assaulted

[@jenicdarling9425]

Seriously the way they “apology” has the same energy as if they did it like, Ugh hey we’re sorrrry ok!? Happy now!? So grab ur crap and go back home now… so u can keep paying all her bills. They only apologized cause op’s ex MADE them do it! They really don’t care like they didn’t even bother to hide the fact that the only reason they apologized was just so op would go back with her. Yeah that’s not a real apology, so many people only apologize just to make the problems go away so they can act like it never happened. Op’s ex never apologized until they realized op was serious and panicked cause she realized she screwed herself. When it comes down to it she’s not upset she lost op she’s upset she’s gunna lose her nice new apartment she just got because she’s not with op anymore. But what was she thinking like if u were trying to get ur bf to take u back then why are u acting like this? Like verbally abusing & harassing op, even his family & friends. Showing up to his moms and causing a scene & refusing to leave. But the worst was how like op originally left cause she shared intimate details with others and didn’t respect his boundaries but then she makes a TikTok post of ALL their personal details and even his sister’s miscarriage. How did u think that would help u with op?!! I think she did that to punish & hurt op for still dodging her. she’s all shocked pikachu face that her actions have consequences, that op isn’t a doormat and is serious about breaking up. She’s unstable, goes from cursing them out then calls apologizing & sweet talk so they get op to call her back. She says how “sorry she is” and won’t ever do it again, deleted the post but then does something else. Why would he take you back after all this u pulled AS u were TRYING to get him back?! It’s like she posted that TikTok to punish op for not taking her back and to like threaten op about sharing the letters online next too but didn’t kno op already took em. If they gave her the letters she would’ve done it to get back at him.

[@jadadallas5891]

S2: Handsy? Is that the term for sexual battery now? Don't touch people without consent (certain exceptions apply).

[@thatjeff7550]

Your "Certain exceptions apply" for whatever reason reminded me of the scene from Hancock. "Ma'am, do I have your consent to pick you up and carry you?" "GET ME THE F&^K OUT OF HERE!!" "I just want to make sure that you wouldn't be offended if--" "DEAR GOD GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"

[@jadadallas5891]

​@@thatjeff7550 😂 I was thinking of emergency situations so yea.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

It means they put their hands on OP. It doesn't HAVE to mean they touched anything below the waist, but in this story? They probably did.

[@carolroberts4614]

They did! It was mentioned in the story, when it was on another channel!

[@geckokid8265]

​@@hodgeelmwood8677 it's still weird to put your hands anywhere on someone without their consent (outside of some situations)

[@muhname6052]

Story 2: It's a shame OP won't be writing anymore letters. Its a really romantic gesture.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

As for Story 2 and what the ex's behaviour was: it's very common for people to see their romantic partner through rose tinted glasses. What is strange is that the relationship lasted for 4 years and OP only just now saw how awful she was but I suspect it's because before she was actively hiding it and when he moved in and payed rent, she thought she had him.

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

I think people underestimate how good abusive people are at hiding their true nature until you live with them. I think people like to think you would be able to spot it before then, and that's because people don't like the idea of not being in control/being fooled. But this belief then gets used on/against victims. "You just didn't want to see the red flags"/ "you're attracted to abusers"/"shoulda picked better". Classic victim blaming, even when the accusers don't know if the abuser showed any signs or not. They just automatically assume that the abuser did.

[@shebakoby]

"we annoy the crap out of each other" - that's probably a thing that Kathy thinks means OP and Elliot Ackshually like each other.

[@ScooterBond1970]

I thought that too. Kathy done seen too many romcoms of the "opposites attract" or "beligerent s&%u@l tension" varieties.

[@Swnsasy]

I don't like ultimatums but oh HELL NO!! Her insecurities are not OP'S problem, it's her own. They have been BFF since diapers and she cannot just butt in and treat her like crap because she wants to be Jane's "sister" instead.. Nta

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: *"He explained that Kathy has a bad relationship with her family, that's why she was really hoping to bond with his."* I dunno, maybe part of that is due to Kathy's crappy personality? flying into a screaming insult-laden tirade in the middle of a store after being snarky and passive aggressive for ages while refusing to listen to anyone trying to correct her wrong assumptions doesn't seem like a one off thing. Really can't blame Jane for not wanting to be close to Kathy who constantly shit-talks OP who's basically Jane sister.

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

Well, only time will tell if that is true and whether Kathy and Eliot work things out or not. And OP’s right, it’s probably best not to stir the hornet’s nest with how volatile Kathy is.

[@trilbynhiss]

It makes me wonder why the brother stays with her, she sounds pretty awful.

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

@@trilbynhiss Who knows? Sadly, only Elliot can do anything about it, whether Kathy gets her crap together, Elliot decides to cut his losses, or they condemn themselves to a toxic relationship. (It pains me to say that last option.) Either they be a good couple who works through their hardships to repair the hole in the hull, a decent man wises up against a bad girlfriend and gets off that sinking ship while he can, or a dumb couple always goes down with their ship.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Yep. Sometimes people with a crappy backstory become crappy people themselves.

[@jaimedritt4622]

@@trilbynhiss Me too. Maybe the brother is the savior type or has a hero complex and needs to feel needed by others. (OP mentioned how he has been trying to help his girlfriend.) I can't see this relationship lasting though. She will probably alienate everyone around him.

[@loganjoh1]

Story 1: yeah Jane definitely didn’t want Kathy in the wedding party anyways the ultimatum was just a great excuse to get her out of it Story 2: when lost genera did this story I was shocked this was a girlfriend of 4 years and I guess this proves you don’t really know someone until you live with them

[@TheHellsHobbit]

Story 1 If I was the guy I would end that relationship with the girlfriend, it will only get worse and possibly out of control.

[@ProdigyAngel33_Nagichan]

I hope the OP in the 2nd story doesn't lose his sweet, romantic and soft nature. Most people would love handwritten letters. My heart hurt when I read he wouldn't be doing that going forward. The ex gf is so wrong both in the severity of the harrassment from her friends that night (sexual harrassment charges. Am I right?!) And her subsequent behavior not including the initial betrayal. That is such disturbing behaviour! OP did the right thing leaving her behind.

[@laucorn123]

Nah using private emotions and emotional turmoil of the men in their lives is par for the course when it comes to women. Often the fist person to teach us this fact through their actions is our mother. If OP is smart he will never tell any of his future partners Jack shit & just get emotional support from his friends.

[@ProdigyAngel33_Nagichan]

@@laucorn123 I would say that is a toxic person. I can guarantee you that the majority will not. And the majority want you to feel emotionally safe and express your emotions when close. I'm sorry for anyone who made you feel that was unsafe and it breaks my heart for you.

[@jaimedritt4622]

@@laucorn123 That is very sad. You're right. Our parents often teach us how to relate to others. We're often drawn subconsciously to people like our parents. However, not all women or men can be generalized based on our own experiences. There are many women out there who would have appreciated and respected OP.

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

​@laucorn123 I understand it's tempting to generalise a whole gender because of what you went through. Calling women emotional msnipulators is no different from a woman calling all men pigs/cheaters/abusers because of stuff she went through. If you remain in your current world view, then what would be the point in having a relationship in the future? What's left of a relationship if you won't have emotional intimacy? Is there even love involved then? Or is it just a transactional relationship where you have s3x, split bills and house work? If I thought like that I would not get into a relationship. Wouldn't be worth it to me. I don't want a relationship, but that's for other reasons that have nothing to do with generalising an entire gender. Relationships cost time, effort, brain space and money. I don't want to spend those on a relationship because I would have very little of those things left for building and maintaining a life for myself. As someone with autism I struggle with things that neurotypical people don't struggle with, so regular everyday things are already take more time, brain space and effort than they should be. I think it's a trap to let your world view be based on trauma. I say that whilst fully understanding that type of trauma, having gone through some of it myself (SA, being cheated on, being manipulated). There are plenty of genuinely good people in the world. The difficult bit is to tell the difference between good people and people pretending to be. Some people are very good at hiding and not dropping red flags. So don't blame yourself or others for it taking some time before you find out. I don't think this will change anything about the way you see things. It feels safe to generalise a whole gender, and there are plenty of people (especially online) who share your views. But please don't get stuck in that too long because it will unnecessarily limit your life and your enjoyment of it. But I do agree with the advice to rely on your friends for emotional support. Too many men don't get that from their friends.

[@laucorn123]

To everyone responding to me first things first. You done? Now to address some of the things you said. 🤣 #1. I don't know what's sadder the possible idea that so many people actively want people to be emotionally abused or the idea you are so naïve to think that its not common. There's a saying how can you tell someone has been hurt by another person? They exist. #2: Par for the course when it comes to women is not saying all women. Just that its common and to pretend otherwise is either a sign of denial or ignorance. #3: My position on these types of things is simple never share your private emotions with someone until said person has shown they earned it. Sadly this more often that not for guys is only their male friends because female friends, girlfriends, wives, and even mothers prove they cannot be trusted with a mans actual pain and stress without it either being used against them, turning said person off, or showing they really do not care. To be fair women tend to be like this with their female friends as well so its not just how they treat me. Its like when you see two tables one of women saying nothing but the nicest things they can think of and not meaning a word of it where as you can look at a table of guys saying some of the most fuck up shit to each other and not mean a word of it. Now does this mean all the time? No. Does this mean every man or women will act this way? No. But when not talking about individuals you have to talk in generalities. Because you get no where if you try to talk about every single person on the planet individually. I don't care if Susie from down the street actually listens to her husbands insecurities and makes him feel safe afterwards because for every Susie there will be some other person out there that does the exact opposite and uses it to tear that person down. #4: @itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 you can have emotional intimacy without showing your partner your weakness. You can enjoy the good things, you can be supportive of them in the relationship with the things they do, you can have their back in social situations, you can bond over shared interest, you can show a united front in front of others, and you can show them you'll always be there when times are tough. But more often than not when a man lets that mask slip and shows his woman how stressed he is, or cries, or talks about his trauma it starts a chain reaction that eventually ends the relationship. Its scary really women can be amazing and empathetic enough to know when something is wrong or if a person is acting different but that empathy doesn't always translate into the ability to handle it. To many times has a guy told his woman about something that's bothering him only for him to then have to apologize to her for how his feelings made her feel. Is this all women? No. But its common enough that its best to just not risk it. Open up to your closest friend because more often than not they earned it by repeatedly showing they could be trusted with it. #5: @ProdigyAngel33_Nagichan you and me agree that its toxic people who do this most of the time. That said not everyone does it intentionally I have watched over and over again real life examples, read articles, read studies its far to common for it to be a coincidence or even to say its rare. Often times the people who act this way are not doing it maliciously or even knowingly it can be something as simple as mothers being faster and more ready to comfort their crying female babies over their male babies, or a mother to tell her son you need to stop being a cry baby the world is not about you, or the people who ask a man what he did to deserve his wife/girlfriend hitting him or cheating on him. You'll find videos of women attacking men in public and then going and comforting the woman or rooting for her. #6: @jaimedritt4622 as I said earlier in this comment yes its not all but its more common than people want to admit, and when speaking broadly you have to speak in generalities. Sure in the grand scheme of things there are many women who would claim they would have appreciated and respected OP and some probably would have. But more often than not people will say they want something or say they would think a certain way in a given situation only to do a complete 180 when they find themselves in said situation. So its always best to air on the side of caution and act accordingly. Open up only to those who you know can be trusted with said emotions and will have your best interest at heart. Sadly more often than not its not your romantic partner even if it should be in a perfect world.

[@AndyyWithAY]

You said just enough. Not everything requires a dissertation in response. Some people are just bitter and jealous. Kathy or whatever her name is was not wanted in the first place. She had to ASK to be in the party, she was not ASKED. K was already TA, you don't ask to be in the wedding party

[@acatnamedm4529]

Story 2: exchange poetry for nudes. And sending her friends after you is just the icing on the cake.

[@jr5557]

Yeah in the second i think it would be ok to tell people that your so writes you letters and talk about how they make you feel but letting people actually read them is way out of bounds.

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: NTA. BFF's before sh!t stirring like stbx's of the bride's brother. S2: NTA. She wanted OP2 as her piggy bank and had no respect for him or his boundaries (and thinks him being groped is nbd, when it is a VERY big deal). OP2 is better off without that harpy.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Especially when she's surrounded by like minded vultures. They'd pick him apart like a fresh roadkill.

[@recycledapathy7411]

Story 1: I hope we get an update after the wedding. I don't have OP's confidence that it will be drama-free. Story 2: OP's mom should call the cops the next time the ex and/or her sister show up and have them trespassed. It honestly wouldn't surprise me if she didn't show any red flags at all before this, because oftentimes, abusive people don't start showing their true colors until they think they've got you. And I also 100% think that if OP had been fine with the ex's friends and sister groping him, the ex would have turned it into him being a cheater or some such crap.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

S1: OP handled this perfectly. She didn’t go back and forth with Kathy, she just exited stage left. I’m glad OP and Elliot talked some things out. S2: First she had no respect for OP regarding the apartment, she just wanted his money. Then she shared personal letters that should’ve been between her and OP and dismissed his rightfully hurt feelings. Then she laughed while her friends groped and basically SA OP. She dismisses OP in every way possible. I completely forgot about the TikToks! She needs to grow tf up! Her not being able to pay the rent is sadly another necessary lesson. Growing pains so to speak.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

2:06 - Why should OP have to apologize to Jane for the way Kathy behaved??

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 1: OP is not the A-hole. The sister-in-law needs to go.

[@NopeScope14]

The first step to self care, is taking the trash out and leaving it there. Kathy and story 2 psycho only amount to nothing

[@Russman67]

Story 2: I doubt much of the protest from the ex-girlfriend is sincere regret, as much as realizing she's on the hook for thousands of dollars in rent. At least she has an apartment, even if she can't afford it. 🤦‍♂️

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

Last story: OP needs to take his brother and friends out to a very nice dinner it something. That was awesome support!

[@HunnieSuckle24]

Kathy's issues aren't anyone's issues but her own. She needs therapy and lots of it. OP nor his family should have to bear the burden of her issues. OP was a lot nicer than I was. Elliot was an idiot, not AH for trying to force Kathy onto his sister during her wedding. This is her time to be pampered, not taking the responsibility to coddle and placate Kathy. If she wants a better relationship with his family, she needs to be a better human. Not for just the wedding. They can see her being a problem overall. Dad doesn't like her for a reason. He saw her baggage from miles away.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

Story 2: While I think it's bad to reveal intimate details about a relationship like that, comparing that to revenge porn is absolutely wild to me. They are not the same at all. People have lost their jobs for having their nudes posted online. OP has every right to be upset but his brother is an absolute clown.

[@Nortarachanges]

Yeah agreed. I still think OP is NTA, and sharing the letters was real crappy, but revenge porn _is_ different. Like someone literally groped him without consent. He should know that’s a whole other level of awful from hugging without consent

[@crowdemon_archives]

He's trying to get his points across (with little to no success) 😅

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes,unfortunately that did rather fall flat!

[@simonO712]

While the severity is indeed different, it shares the element of being something private that shouldn't be shared outside the relationship. I agree that a better comparisomän probably could have been made though.

[@LoveableNiki]

I think the Brother was very upset that GF posted on TT about Sister's miscarriages. Sister had only shared the info with the Brothers (and her partner). Sister was innocent. Definitely not excusing Brother, but blind rage???

[@22cedrick]

S2: she set herself up for failure because her friend is not going to forget what she told them if he would have stayed they was going to try him and she set him up for the next girl because if she asked how they broke up and if she believed it 1. he respect the relationship 2. he write poetry etc etc yeah she played herself smh lol

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

lol why should SHE apologize to Jane? for getting attacked?? wth?

[@impagain]

"No one got hurt" She says, but OP was hurt...

[@cheesedemon88]

S2 it’s so sad to hear that OP won’t be writing sexy letter to his future girlfriends, that was such a wonderful thing to do for a partner and that stupid girl ruined it.

[@nishikaze]

That last post pissed me off so much. Belittling a man being sexually assaulted and harassed. Men can be victims of sexual assault too!!!

[@smidgelette]

Agreed, the double standards are revolting.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- NTA, TF why is she projecting on the OP instead of trying to build her own relationship with her BF’s family?

[@maddydavidsdottir9862]

4 hours till I have my ankle surgery! Been waiting 10 years and 8 ignorant Drs for this surgery and it's finally happening!! I'll be laid up in bed catching up on today's videos tonight while I'm recovering 😊

[@simonO712]

Wow, best of luck to you!

[@shebakoby]

story 1: Elliot sold his soul to a "Demon in the Sack" who sounds like a Cluster of Bees (ONLY refers to nasty/abusive instances of Cluster B). Someone never ever told Elliot, or he never listened, to the sage advice, "My Son, Stick it not in Crazy", because Kathy straightup sounds delusional on top of whatever else. It's not a mystery why Elliot's dad hates Kathy. Kathy is a PROBLEM unto herself. Blaming others for her own issues is classic narc/cluster B behavior.

[@littlegreycat]

13:24 wow that GF pulled in so many flying monkeys to try to pressure him into staying. He was so smart to leave right away

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 1: Kathy has major insecurity issues and that is not OP's problem. If anyone spoke to me the way Kathy spoke to OP at the bridal shop, I'd have said the same thing: Either I go or she does. And I'd stick to that.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 2: Fun fact, according to the law, the physical letters belong to the GF, but the COPYRIGHT belongs to the sender, including the right to share the writings with others. So, technically speaking, OP's GF is just wrong one more way (including being an insensitive jerk). And her friends putting their hands on him?? BIG "NO."

[@joeschmo622]

_"I'm not coming back to you until you repay me for the half-deposit and what I paid for that month's rent and bills."_ "Okay, okay, here it is! Now come back to me!" _"Sucker!! 😝"_

[@AndyyWithAY]

Breakups are not AH situations usually. She shouldn't have shared the intimate letters. And did that friend say she wanted OP to f**k her? Did I understand that correctly? But, yea NTA

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - OP is NTA, but is asking for further drama if she goes in with Eliot on a Father's Day gift for his dad. Kathy is going to have another complete meltdown over that. Just wait and see. And someone - other than Eliot - needs to be put in charge of 'handling' Kathy for wedding and reception, become someone as crazy as that will find a way to cause a big scene.

[@starlingswallow]

2nd Story: gosh this gf sounds like a narcissist. The lashing out, then apologizing, then lashing out, then apologizing, then threatening him, then apologizing is INSANE. So is the overspending, the over sharing personal details, then calling it a joke and to "get over it", then posting online personal family stuff, then erasing it, then the love bombing, then the insults.... GEEZ!!!! 😳😖

[@dandotvid]

Story 1: What did Jane think would happen when she said she wanted Elliot and OP to walk together? Either she's completely oblivious to the dynamic between OP and Kathy to the point that she'd openly antagonize Kathy by making OP and Elliot walk together or she did it on purpose to get a rise out of Kathy to the point of giving her a reason to kick her out. Now, I don't blame her, Kathy sounds horrible. But Jane is definitely causing unneeded drama by putting OP in the crosshairs like that.

[@lifegoeson6045]

I agree I just find that so weird and why would op be fine with that tho u dont like her neither want drama it just seemed ike everyones rooting for them to kinda end up together. I dont like kathy but that part aka the whole reason kathy was an ass was done by jane and op not even saying that it may be a bad idea lmao

[@EnDB]

I love both the gobsmacked and confused faces😂😂😂

[@EvilAzn3000]

Story 2: Damn...the ex caused OP to not ever want to do what I see as a really romantic gesture that would've been perfect for a wedding. Basically make copies of the letters, laminate the originals, store the originals at home, and turn the copies into roses for the wedding bouquet

[@abubarrie88]

Wait so the bride made the decision for whatever reason that’s Kathy can’t walk down the aisle as a bridesmaid with her bf but instead wants OP to walk down the aisle with Kathy’s bf? That’s weird and knowing OP and Kathy don’t get Ali g why would the bride decide that? And Op didn’t give any indication that she turned down this weird request? The bride is an ish stirrer

[@Peeges_]

Thanks for hanging out with us ❤

[@MarkNarrations]

As always thanks for being here!

[@Boydswan]

whoahhh chick in story 2 is a psycho

[@P.H.R.O.G]

What’s all this pressuring brides to include people? Bride doesn’t want you in the bridal party? Cool, you’re not in the bridal party. Got a problem? I don’t care

[@megaspit]

The woman in story 2 is the female version of red pilled. She sees her boyfriend as a possession who is there to serve her, hence she'll brag about his quality and how well he takes care of her to her friends but she doesn't actually care about him. He's just a conquest and a trophy.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Ugh, GF in story 2 is even worse than I thought! She's living her life through TikTok and posting everything that OP told her in a bid for sympathy from followers. Immature, nasty, selfish.

[@threeducks157]

Back in our dating days me and wife would physically mail letters to each other, even though we lived in the same city, had phones and computers lol. Just now we looked trough the letters and good freaking god… the cringe is unbearable.

[@porter0311]

Not defending kathy. But, why in the hell would OP be asked to walk with Elliot down the aisle anyway? That doesn't make sense to me.

[@TitanSummers]

I've just binged all your other videos. Please bring back nightmare neighbours.

[@nohanabil9220]

Story 2: While I think it's bad to reveal intimate details about a relationship like that. I do have to ask, Is your brother stupid? Comparing that to revenge porn is absolutely wild to me. They are not the same at all. People have lost their jobs for having their nudes posted online. You could actually go to jail for that, as you basically ruined someone's life. Sharing a love letter and sharing nudes is not a double standard, one could be mildly embarrassing while the other is sexual misconduct and illegal.

[@Ercarret]

I agree to a point, but I also think it depends on what's in those letters. If it's all lovey dovey stuff, the comparison makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. But there could be all kinds of sensitive information in there that was only meant for the partner to see. As mentioned in the story, details about OP's sister's miscarriage is certainly one. That certainly had real-world implications since the sister took a break from their relationship, even if they seem to be a reconciliatory path in the end. Imagine if he'd written something like, "Thank you for helping me get through some horrific childhood abuse" or if he'd brought up some struggles with his sexuality that she helped him come to terms with. It's still really weird to compare it to nudes because the two things are so very different from each other, but my point is that even sensitive information can be highly damaging to release to the world. It doesn't have to be just "mildly embarrassing".

[@coreymartin6486]

She sounds like a complete self absorbed nightmare of a gf.

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In story 2, OP had his personal feelings shared by his girlfriend to her friends. She then laughed it off and got plenty of attention from this. In the end, OPs girlfriend was an attention seeking garden tool that played the stupid game and got dumped by OP as her prize.

[@kichikitsu]

S1: okay, what. is everyone gonna overlook elliot's best friend allegedly exaggerating stories about OP to the point it made her look like Regina George???? kathy was convinced OP was a two-faced, manipulative person because *her boyfriend's best friend* seemingly hates OP that much. either that, or the best friend is an overdramatic asshole that he gave the worst impression of her on kathy for no reason at all, without even meaning to. also, its still weird as shit that jane would try to have elliot and OP dance together. ive never been to a wedding, but isn't it usual for people to paired with their actual partner? y'know, instead of someone they dislike? are we totally sure kathy isn't also convinced OP is trying to steal him due to jane trying to pair them up?

[@boogitywoogity248]

Story 1: no defense to Kathy, but every single pair of men and women I’ve ever met who “annoy the hell out of eachother” but are constantly around one another, always end up screwing in some manner. Legit, the Patrice O’Neal rule, hate is passion and so is love, if you feel passionate about another man you know personally, we have issues. If you can’t stand somebody, you’ll make efforts to avoid or remove them, whichever is more effective, if instead you actively spend as much time with Elliot as possible, ingratiating with his family, his parents want you to date him but you, “hate eachother.” It just sounds like you’re waiting for one or both of you to mature enough for the dynamic to settle. These people always end up screwing, Kathy is being wild due to her actions, she needed to confess this to Elliot, and Elliot needed to handle it with her. I don’t think anyone is actively trying to steal anyone, I do think Elliot is going to annoy his way directly between her legs.

[@DK-tq3fy]

Yeah life isn’t a Rom Com.

[@boogitywoogity248]

@@DK-tq3fy okay but I’ve seen this exact dynamic 100 times, when this is posted from the perspective of a girl, and her best friend and man “annoy the shit out of eachother” but constantly hang out together, every single comment says cheating. Because common sense says, if something ACTUALLY bothers you, you remove yourself or it, ergo removing what bothers you. And honestly I’m doubling down with more time to think on it, so Kathy is jealous to the point of dangerous behavior pretty much, and OP’s response is, “let’s hash stuff out Elijah, let’s do a duo gift for your family.” Lmfao. If somebody’s significant other is that jealous and angry with you, that’s the last thing you’d be doing, Kathy literally was like, “I’m jealous I think his family likes you more.” Op: “okay your boyfriend and I will do a team gift for his family member this time.” Mental illness. I’m not saying they’ll end up together, all I’m saying is Elijah ends up inside her.

[@MinisterManDan]

Story 2 this is why you move in before getting married. You never really know a person until you have to share a space. OP found out insanely quick, but if he hadn’t moved in he would have never known his GF had these lil gossip parties where she violated every reasonable boundary and showed herself to be mentally still 14. She’s unworthy of a serious relationship

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

18:02 the hypocrisy! 🤯🤬 18:12 THIS PART! She is immature and self centered!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey can you take care of yourself? Just do one small thing that will make yourself happy. And if you feel like you can do more, please stretch, drink some water, and eat something. You matter so much. I send all the virtual love. 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@MarkNarrations]

Hope all is good Broken!!

[@maggpiprime954]

Hi Broken! Right back atcha! 🤗💖

[@FriedaMMartin]

Take care of yourself

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@MarkNarrations hope you're well too mark 💜💜🤗🤗🧇🧇

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@maggpiprime954 much love magg🤗🤗💜💜🧇🧇

[@whiskeyontherocks]

Story2, if I were OP I would talk to the ex and tell exactly why I broke up with her but be very clear there's no chance of reconciliation.

[@laurenjones9924]

Yeah… I used to be friendly with a lesbian girl who had a friend , K. K hated me for unknown reasons. Kstarted dating later married a cop I knew. K still hated me with a passion and I’d barely even talked to her. Her friend had a crush on me, but that wasn’t happening. Never once did I have feelings for the cop. Best I can figure is Sometimes people just feel threatened and it comes out as jealousy and crazy reactions like OPs. I couldn’t imagine having to be involved in a wedding with K.

[@roarkthehalf-orc6598]

Hypocrisy: It's only ok when I do it

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: Woof. Someone sure is going all Single White Female here. I hope Elliott seriously rethinks his relationship after this.

[@jasonrustmann7535]

If one of my wife's guy friends (which she doesn't really have any more) wanted to insult me like that, I'd just be like "hmm...yeah, maybe you're right, think we can grab a beer and you can help me understand the situation better?" At which point MY friends will now be getting involved, and he gets to end up being the (partially) living message why the rest of her friends should stay out of my business. Broken kneecaps are great at sending that sort of message.

[@Davtwan]

Having someone like Kathy on the bridal party would make Tom happy?? Tom, do you need help? Blink twice for yes.

[@chaudx]

Story 2: So basically her train of thought is "since you are bigger than those harrassing you there's no problem"...by that logic OP could pay a bunch of dwarves to get handsy with her and that wouldn't be a problem "since she's bigger than them and she wont be in harm's way" lol

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

Cringe!

[@wewaitandwatch]

Special treat, more Mark. ❤

[@MarkNarrations]

[@lina9535]

Story 1: I'll never understand the "this was sort of expected" when it comes to being a bridesmaid or MoH. It sounds so entitled. I will preface this and say that where I live, it's common to NOT have bridesmaids or groomsmen. Even a MoH or Best Man isn't always included either.

[@duhduhvesta]

Wtf why would the bride want the moh walk down with the bf of other guy? That’s weird. That was a pot stirring move. That was an antagonistic & bride was looking to set of her

[@duhduhvesta]

Jane is the issue honestly. I get the flip out was bad but again folks are ignoring Janes bullshit

[@katwitanruna]

It’s only a joke if EVERYONE laughs.

[@kyriacarica5862]

Dun! Dun! Am I the only one who got the possible Law & Order: SVU reference? (Elliot and Kathy) But jokes aside, if you’re blaming other people for YOUR issues with your SO and parents, Etc. you are a deeply insecure person who refuses to take accountability for your own faults. Kathy needs therapy and Elliot needs to run

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

This woman in the story really doesn't get how badly she messed up. But I wonder if she's the type that if you explained it and reverse she'd have her mind blown. "I never thought of it like that!" She'd say

[@joaoleste4682]

The biggest AH is the bride. Why the hell would she pair OP with the entitled bridesmaid's bf knowing how the bridesmaid felt?

[@dorianleakey]

Kathy is taking her frustration out on the wrong person, I dunno why everyone is ignoring that people are setting her up with Elliot. Maybe that will come out in the update.

[@CatAstridphe]

You know, I wouldn't say that story 1 is an ultimatum, I would say it's more of a firm boundary. "I refuse to be treated like this and can not participate in things with her anymore if she's going to behave this way. I'm happy to be MOH without her in the bridal party, and I'm equally happy to step down from the role, I just can't be involved with her anymore." I feel like ultimatums are more controlling and threatening and self driven? Like, "If you don't do X, then I'm not going to do Y." In this case, that would sound like, "If you don't boot her from the bridal party, then I'm dropping out as MOH." The way OP phrased it, though, is very open and gentle with no pressure to choose her over the brother's GF. As for the GF? Fuck around and find out. You're an adult, and actions have consequences. That means being ready to accept them if you can't control yourself (because of a mental/physical condition or not).

[@FanFicnic]

To me OP is just taking the hit for Jane. Letting herself be the bad guy so the bride doesn’t have to say no to that insane “see you next Tuesday”

[@destinedtogame]

Story 2 was not fun to read the comments of. People were bashing him, badly

[@jadadallas5891]

Seriously? Bashing him for what?

[@destinedtogame]

@@jadadallas5891 being upset, ending it, moving out, how he's a man and should be happy other women wanted his D, and how it was just poetry and not like nudes.

[@westland.u8878]

The hell,seriously

[@simonO712]

Wait, really? _REALLY!?_ O_____o

[@destinedtogame]

​@@simonO712yes. For him being upset

[@amznmmdprncss]

S1: What does the bride mean that she put OP with Eliot for aesthetics, I wonder. NTA, but I do wonder what aesthetics have to do with people's relationships.

[@crash92la98]

Yeah. The bride had to know that would just stir crap up.

[@abubarrie88]

She did it in on purpose. She didn’t want Kathy and her the bf photographed together, is crazy and she knew it would create problems.

[@RJ-sb5qr]

I think Elliott should run for the hills. Kathy has some major psychological issues and needs therapy. Kudos to Jane and OP to finally having a long over due talk as OP didn't want to disrupt Jane's wedding. OP dodged a bullet. They weren't a couple. Her name only was on the lease. She decorated the apartment for her. She shared personal intimate information with her friends. OP is not the AH but ex-girlfriend definitely positively is an AH.

[@pasalking7760]

Her friends assaulted him and she downplayed it?

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Hey there waffle gang, just busy making a Lemon Merengue cheesecake 😋

[@helianabanes4875]

I mean, it seems like, from the way OP number 2 was talking about his gf's financial choices, and him covering the bills, he already didn't want to be committed to staying there, and being the more responsible one. I highly doubt, he would be so quick to immediately cut ties, if he didn't already have a toe out the door. Just my opinion.

[@pezchef7577]

story2. asides from all the obvious sexual harassment and boundary stopping. this is more a financial story. exgf wanted her wallet to stay around to support her lifestyle

[@BloodSunBlast]

Story 2: Op is in the right about getting mad at his gf for justifying her friends getting handsy. But poems / love letters aren't nudes. They can be shared if the person who now owns them wishes. If she was showing your nudes that's a different story. And crime. I don't feel I can give a rating right now

[@lalvarez5151]

So the friend wants op to walk with the brother? Instead of the brother walking down with his gf? I don't know..the bride sounds like a crap stirer

[@jeaniebee3657]

story one wtf is op going to get a jpint fathers day gift with elliots father which is her bffs dad too? how is that going to help the kathy situation ATALL? omg that is so dumb sound so sus to me about the true nature of the ops feelings for him...its like an EF you to kathy and would cause the problem to get worse not better as the op is trying to say she wants to not do lol

[@XRamenmaX]

Story number two is exactly why guys don't open up to other people, especially their female friends or girlfriends, because they (Girls) like to use it against them (guys) as a weapon.

[@fyoutube9410]

How in the world do Elliot and Kathy work.

[@EndellionQT]

S2: Nuke. Dodged.

[@Emo2heart]

I was on ops side until they started talking about leaking nudes. Thats insane. Nude vs love letters. Like wtf is wrong with him. But im glad he got away from her

[@destinedtogame]

He didn't send it. It was asked