My Daughter Cut Pieces Of My Wife's Sentimental Wedding Dress To Add To Her Own - Reddit Podcast

[@kaylaprice370]

The parents aren't ruining their relationship with their daughter. It's olivia who is ruining it. The fact that she is being spoiled and entitled is baffling. Smh

[@deijix]

THANK YOU!!!! Everyone is saying that the parents are “choosing a dress over their daughter” when the daughter LITERALLY betrayed her mother and chose a dress over her own mother and her feelings! She KNEW this would hurt her mother immensely because she was too much of a coward to tell her mom herself what she has done and tried to pin it off on daddy to do her dirty work for her. She was sneaky and deceitful to her parents that seem to have done nothing but love and help her get ahead in life and want her to be happy. But I guess that’s not enough to make someone like Olivia grow up to be a decent person.

[@BurlapSnack]

Mother: I made this dress by hand with my mother and it would mean a lot to me if it's kept as pristine as possible. And like anyone, I'd be upset if it's purposely damaged Braindead Redditor: You're a narcissist

[@AmyRuby]

Yes! Ridiculous! The entitlement is fierce

[@dionysus_adores]

Oh yeah it was an extremely important dress to op's wife. Daughter knew the rules and why. She was just being selfish edit(it wasn't hers to keep either she knew it and she still lied and tried to hid behind her dad for breaking the news.)

[@dumbidea1007]

I don't feel bad for it. Most likely they started spoiling her as a child and now they pay for it

[@GIChiyo]

Story 1: The daughter is such a hypocrite "She doesn't want to return the dress because she want's to hold onto it like her mother did" OK, if you understand that people want to keep their dresses WHY DID YOU BUTCHER YOUR MOTHERS DRESS?!? The entitlement is astounding...

[@athenastewart9167]

IF a daughter of mine did that, I don't know if I would ever be able to speak to her again. I certainly would not imply consent by attending. My grandmother taught me everything I know about sewing. It is more than material, folks; it is the time, the labor involved, the memories of someone who has passed on, the bond between generations. A dress like that is priceless. It is a piece of art. THAT is what Olivia stole from her own mother for her own selfish wants. I wouldn't pay a penny more for that cursed wedding.

[@1tiptip187]

The worst hypocrite as she is missing the reason it was so special. It was made by her Grandmother and her mom and forged in memoires. If she really wanted a new dress the mom and her could have made a new one together. All she did was have a seamstress take it apart and use pieces. She wants to keep HER dress when their isn't even the same level of work and sentimental value with memories behind it as the original whole dress.

[@Barlmoro]

@@1tiptip187 i would be petty and let the police force her on the weeding to give her back the parts.

[@zitronentee2302]

thanks, thats EXACTLY my reaction bitch , you cutup your moms dress and now talk about " hanging on to the weddingdress because its so important" wow , just wow . the LEAST she could do is return the frankendress to give the parts back in hope to restore some of it.

[@tomnorton8499]

What I don’t get is why the daughter couldn’t have had the pieces she wanted from the mother’s dress recreated. That way she could have the dress she wanted but not destroyed her mother’s dress. The parents didn’t destroy the relationship, it was the daughter & it would be up to her to repair the damage she did.

[@AndyyWithAY]

They were specifically told that the wedding dress could not be altered in this way. I do not blame OP for withdrawing financial support. If she can't follow basic instructions, she does not deserve the money. A couple should not have a wedding they cannot afford.

[@rumooooni]

Fr fr if they cant accept the terms dont expect financial support especially destroying someones very important and emotional possession....

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

But daddy, I’m the last kid to get married! 🤦🏼‍♀️ uh, grandkids? It was mom’s dress that she was letting them use it if they wanted🤷🏼‍♀️

[@___LC___]

If I were him, I’d have taken her frankendress right then. He’s paying, it’s his property. Let the daughter go to a bridal shop.

[@BabyWil88]

@@___LC___ I’d of done similar but slightly worse. I would of had all the parts of the mum’s wedding dress removed from the Frankendress and let the daughter wear it, however it may look. Perfect consequence that she’d learn from… self-centred entitled people only learn through being publicly shamed and shown up

[@babybookworm003]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 funny Olivia said that and op mentioned a 13 year old daughter

[@sarahjean3670]

I didn’t think I’d feel so strongly about story 1. Olivia should have asked. And I think the consequences are fair. The venue and cake are paid. The rest can be DIY.

[@kbf9644]

His last update just made my blood boil.

[@petthequeenofmaddness8592]

f that I would talk to the venue and change the plans instead of a wedding its a party and have her removed if she shows up she didn't pay for it or the cake and send her a bill for the destroyed custom dress. ps. also have her charged with having stolen property.

[@Barlmoro]

@@petthequeenofmaddness8592 if she not wanntet to give the parts back, than sue her NOW! force her to give them back now, she can get a new dress. and let her pay for repair, dos not matter how much the price is.

[@jaymel4691]

Olivia knew what she was doing was wrong, that's why she was nervous at the fitting. I would even guess she brought Dad along deliberately thinking he could tell Mom instead of her having to admit what she did to the dress. Then when she saw how much she hurt her Mom, she STILL wouldn't even consider ways to fix the damage. And all these commenters whining about "how can you ruin your relationship with your daughter over an old dress?" are making my blood boil. It's not about the dress, it's about the precious memories of making it with her mother, the work they did together, the time they spent together. And Olivia just shit all over that. OP is NTA, although I have to wonder if Olivia has been bratty before and gotten away with it, and now she thinks she's the family princess.

[@kbf9644]

@@jaymel4691 You said and I thought it. “Youngest child gets babied her entire life and believes rules don’t apply to her because her world has always given her whatever her little heart desires before” is the vibe I’m getting. She clearly knew it was phucked up. That leads me to believe her siblings didn’t turn out the same way. But it’s also clear she damn well knew all the lines she was crossing and assumed no matter how upset the family got they’d just cave and forgive her. There’s a reason for that.

[@ajzephyros7454]

I think Olivia is willing to ruin the relationship over her "me me me" needs

[@ChrisAndCats]

Exactly. She already doesn't care about the mother.

[@Asahiart]

People saying " the dress wouldn't have been worn anyway" are probably the type that haven't created a single thing in their life and automatically buy stuff. There is a true sentimental/emotional connection when you actually make something over the course of month/years ... Think of it like a piece of art ( it is a piece of art! ) ... EDIT: not saying buying stuff makes you less attached to something obviously .

[@보모]

_personally that reminds me of the _*_eat-the-rich_*_ personality types that make quips about how easy a person’s life is for access to money • as if life can’t hit anyone_ most recently the Drew Barrymore rain video “i’d be happy too being millionaire with a mansion“ after grandstanding about how wealth is evil therefore no one should have “nice” things If financial standing edits your personality that sounds like a you problem not a cash problem

[@Songbirdstress]

I know, do these people know HOW LONG it takes to make something like this? Weeks. It also has stiches the mother's hand made (I'm guessing she has passed away). Lend diamond earrings, daughter sells them to get something she likes better. Not as good because not made by the two mothers. How would they react? It's the same thing.

[@MovableNu]

Oh no, it’s worse than that. Plenty of folks that have never made anything crafty/artistic in their LIFE still have purchased memorabilia that’s important to them. Even if it was just a $2.00 shirt from a thrift store that brings back good memories. You gotta be a special kind of callous, entitled, and narcissistic to pull this!

[@Songbirdstress]

@@MovableNu Another point is the daughter has taken the expensive materials, embroidered over skirt etc but left the value, her mother and grandmother s blood sweat and tears.

[@damien678]

I'd have seriously lost my entire damn mind

[@maddy8328]

Story 1, NTA. Your wife said she wished it wouldn't be altered, your daughter destroyed a piece of your wife's property. I would press charges, ngl.

[@jeannebuttons5301]

If they were going to press charges they do have all the evidence and testimony to show that the dress was never to be cut up I'm actually surprised with everything that's going on that Olivia's fiance is still whittling to marry her, given that she shows the propensity to do things without permission

[@Barlmoro]

@@jeannebuttons5301 maybe the inlaws pushet it this far too.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Olivia should have just said no to the dress and gotten a new one plain and simple

[@ynmonroe]

Or sue to get it back, which I think they will have to do.

[@lillithherondale1972]

Story 1: NTA. What Oliva did is disgusting. It's the mothers dress, the mom gets to decide what happens to it and she gets to hold onto it, not Oliva. The mom was so sweet offering it for the girls to wear for their weddings and Oliva had to go and ruin it. I fully support OP withdrawing support.

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

Yep, Olivia wantonly vandalised her mother's precious entrusted loan, & has zero humility or contrition about what she's done. What a shitty person.

[@holyek7892]

Olivia is a horrible person, deserves to get disowned and someone pull a Carrie on her wedding dress. In the second story, the fiancee is a bitter woman that will end up alone.

[@MistressSuki92]

I hope the hacked up pieces of her mom's dress she STOLE are worth losing her parent's respect over. Because I guarantee if any of my siblings did that I'd never see them the same way again. Like you're no longer the same person, because the sister I knew wouldn't have EVER done some fucked up shit like that to anybody, least of all our mother. ffs.

[@holyek7892]

@@MistressSuki92 like Olivia is truly evil she could have made a new mama and me family tradition but no she had to destroy her mother and grandmother's legacy to fulfill her selfish desires. I wouldn't touch Olivia with a 10 foot pole. To the people that might say it was just a dress, it's not the dress is the embodiment of a memory the connection to a loved one that was defiled for vanity reasons.

[@Zucca101]

Yeah, second story OP is AWFUL. Olivia is horrible. Both these women’s fiancé’s deserve better brides.

[@MistressSuki92]

@@holyek7892 Everyone saying 'it's just a dress!' have clearly A. never made anything with their hands in their entire lives, and B. obviously never had a beloved memory tied to an item. My cousin, when she was visiting my sister so they could club together, stole a "sapphire" ring my grandma gave me so she could wear it out dancing. She drunkenly dropped it outside on the driveway when she was coming back to our place to sleep her hangover off. Well next day dad ran the ring over, crushing the frame and shattering the imitation sapphire. I was heartbroken and cousin said it 'was just trashy costume jewelry', not even caring about the sentimental value. Needless to say I tore a chunk of her hair out and consider her dead to me now.

[@jestersreign7530]

did anyone catch the fact in the update where she Doesn't want to give the wedding dress back because she wants to keep it after her wedding like her mother did part?

[@paulinaenck5797]

“Overly charismatic” is a weird insult. Lilac sounds amazing and OP sounds awful.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Yeah I understand if she's an introvert but that isnt it, Op is just being mean

[@bbjjbb61]

I am an extreme (probably to an unhealthy extent) introvert. I do get exhausted just being around exhuberant and charismatic people but I appreciate the differences that make us all unique and I make an effort to be kind to anyone who isn't an AH. It's the loud and always-gotta-be-right people I dislike and avoid. I suspect the OP has a deeper issue than what she wrote. Probably an issue with their closeness. I hope the fiance can get to the root of the issue before marriage because OP's wording is concerning to me. It's got an underlying hint of spite and anger to it which will eventually develop into other bigger issues in the future.

[@jenryan82]

OP is awful. I'm an introvert and I hate that misanthropes use that an excuse to be rude. Introversion just means prolong social interaction can drain you. It does not mean hating on happy and charismatic people. She's just hater. If they do get married, I hope Lilac holds her at arms length forever.

[@tayganroberts5098]

@@jenryan82 no, I’m an introvert too and you don’t get to define us. My sister is 3 years younger than me and the only time we stopped fighting was when we moved out of our parents home. She is an extrovert and I despised her personality even if I loved HER to death. You don’t get to tell someone if being around another person is exhausting to them or not. What kind of gatekeeping bs is that?

[@dandotvid]

You need to work on your reading comprehension if that's what you got from that comment.

[@laurelrhodes744]

Story 1: That exact same thing happened in the movie 27 Dresses. The difference being the mother had passed away and the older sister wanted to wear the dress at her own wedding but the younger sister cut it up to use parts in a new wedding dress. Of course, that movie being a romantic comedy, everything worked out just fine in the end. I just keep thinking if I was in that position I could NEVER forgive and forget! I feel so terrible for the mother. I do not believe she’s a narcissist AT ALL! Olivia knew this would happen which is why she said nothing about destroying her mother’s dress. The sentimental value of that dress was PRICELESS and I think it’ll take the mom some time to truly process her emotions.

[@Mamoutu]

the first thing I thought of was that scene!

[@mkuti-childress3625]

That comment about the mom being a narcissist burned me. You could use that logic to make any victim feel like a bad guy for being victimized. It’s actually the kind of thing a real narcissist will say after doing something hurtful to gaslight you into thinking you’re the bad guy for being upset. It wouldn’t have surprised me if that commenter was actually the daughter or someone very like her!

[@vanzy01]

@@mkuti-childress3625 👍

[@atinyevil1383]

I was thinking that, too. When I saw that, I didn’t think I’d ever hear about it happening in real life.

[@kt3255]

“but today you are just the bitch that cut up my mother’s wedding dress”…or something to that effect. Remember being infuriated by how the movie dealt with the whole situation. Not how real life would go at all.

[@beeppboopp]

Story 2: it's completely understandable and her right to not have the sister as a brides maid, but it's so completely ridiculous to expect her fiance to not have her as a grooms woman wtf

[@jedimasters1462]

I have a feeling that he puts his sister first on many things, especially after him asking when op was going to make the sister a bridesmaid. Perhaps he's always pushing them to have a close relationship or us always trying to include his sister in on too much of the relationship, which will always cause problems. I wish there was more info to know more.

[@matthewuzulis5016]

@@jedimasters1462 Maybe but OP never mentions that which then would justify her feelings more so, however without any other context than that one thing about wanting her to be a part of the wedding party which is pretty normal TBH it is just speculation.

[@robertx8020]

The thing that got me the most was for her (maybe ex) future husband to share the story with the WHOLE FFFF family! The wedding would be off for me at least for the near future as the husbands clearly favours the whole family over his wife!

[@beeppboopp]

@@jedimasters1462 yeah, honestly it was a little unreasonable for the finance to ask that of her, as bridesmaids are usually the people you're closet to/have a connection with. If we wants his sister part of the party, 100%, have her on his side, but just kind of expecting his future wife to have his sis as a bridesman is kind of a dick move. We 100% need more info, I agree with Matthew. Its totally possible that this was just sort of...the straw that broke the camels back rather than full out being an asshole.

[@coreymartin6486]

Sounds like a personal vendetta that she's not being completely honest about.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: YTA OP listed NO reason why the sister was a bad person. It just sounds likenshe doesn't like fun, happy people. Like look at her description of the "negatives" about her. "Overly charismatic" so people like her. "Always giggling"= so she's not super serious all the time "Pulls pranks sometimes" Ok, that COULD be annoying but it doesn't sound like she does it to OP and the brother participates so no one is realy having an issue with it. The only real thing OP points out is that she's "immature" but that's based on Op's "taste" which, based on the post, can't be trusted as objective. Also...she's 21 ffs. How mature do you expect her to be? Sounds like OP is jealous of her fiancé and his sister's relationship and doesn't like her being around for that reason alone. I feel like this relationship has run it's course and dude should bounce out like the Flash trying to go back in time. Also. OP didn't "accidentally" do shit. She tried to exclude HIS sister from HIS wedding. "stressful for no reason" and "the whole family and fiance are upset" are contradictory. Edit after edit: It's fine OP doesn't want the sister in her wedding party...but why can't her fiance have his sister in his party? If the reason OP doesn't want the sister in her wedding party is because she doesn't want the sister around for her Bachelorette and other bride related activities because the sister would drain her social battery,, why can't he have his sister in HIS party? Where is OP's social battery effected by the sister being at his bachelor party or other groom events? It doesn't seem like her "social battery" will have any issue if the sister stands up with the fiance at the wedding pr takes pictures either. So yeah, outside of her own wedding party, it sure looks like OP's "social battery" argument is a fun bit of gaslighting.

[@simonO712]

She never claimed she was a bad person though, just that their personalities were incompatible. Her trying to exclude her from her fiance's party was way overstepping, but I don't see what's so wrong about not liking to be around a specific person because they drain you, even if it's through no fault of their own. Also, that's not in any way gaslighting. While her being a groomswoman indeed wouldn't make her a part of her bachelorette party, it still would ha e made her play a larger role in the actual wedding (but to once again clarify, I definitely agree that trying to exclude her from being one makes her an AH).

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

@@simonO712 Honestly, Lilac sounds like a real life Chris Trager from Parks & Recreation: positive to the point of toxicity, comple with tragic backstory. I hated the character for always putting Ben in the tough spot while everyone loved how upbeat he was. It may be the characterisation of OP's dislike, but that's the vibe I get off Lilac and it honestly sounds _exhausting,_ especially if the added bit of pranking just isn't your thing. As for her being in the Groom's party, I don't think the fiancé thought it through logistics-wise. It's been seen a time or two on reddit that the woman in the Groom's party still attends Bride events so that the Groomsmen can do "dude things" like strip clubs without a girl killing the vibe, but then she stands up with the Groom. Is that the expectation? Where will she get ready for the wedding? On the day of will Lilac be getting ready with the Groom's party, or will she be in the Bridal suite because she's female and spend the time grating on OP's already frayed nerves while she can't say anything? Getting ready photos: will the photographer be told not to include her in candids and posed shots because she's not in the Bridal party, or does she get to be a de facto member simply by being there? Will the groom be OK with Lilac being left out of the photos and festivities in a room she's in with the other women (my guess would be no) and likely feel sad about being excluded? Will she stand out in the photos and be the centre of attention simply becauseshe'llbe different? Frequently (though not always), bridesmaids have matching dressing gowns for the morning of, but Lilac either won't have that or will have some Groom themed. When everyone is dressed, does Lilac get included in the picture because she's in the room wearing her clearly different Groomswoman garb? Does she then _also_ get to go be in the Groom's party photos? I understand that the bride can't dictate the Groom's side of the wedding party, but this will likely end with Lilac being pushed on her regardless. She's not an AH for not liking her, especially as she's managed to be polite enough that no one knew, and she's not an AH for not inviting her to her wedding party. I think that the only thing OP is guilty of is not having a gentler, kinder way to express her concerns about it when her fiancé backed her into a corner asking when she would be inviting his sister into the bridal party. Her only real wrongdoing is not liking someone everyone else thinks is just the bee's knees. Fiancé isn't an asshole for wanting his sister on his side either, but he also can't see how impossible his request would be to actually execute. He is a bit of one for backing OP into the corner of insisting Lilac be in her party and then _telling_ Lilac what OP said.

[@UchuKejiMovan]

She knew the history of the dress and still destroyed the dress smh. People accusing the wife of being a narcissist when it's actually the daughter who is the narc

[@보모]

Ask for the dress she planned to hack at that

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Literally. I bet you that commenter is the daughter

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

I have to admit, anytime I see the word "narc," I pronounce it with a hard c and it's used to mean someone who tells in others, or the act of telling. That's what it was growing up. Is that a teen that is still used? I believe it comes from narcotic agent, who's sole purpose was to find kids using drugs.

[@UchuKejiMovan]

@@MargaritaOnTheRox where I'm from if someone calls you a narc they're calling you law enforcement lol

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

@@UchuKejiMovan Yeah, exactly, though sometimes people will use it degradingly even if they know the other person's not in law enforcement. Just like saying, "what are you? A cop?"

[@darkmask5933]

Story 2: A lot of peeps jumping on OP for not liking the sister for arbitrary reasons, but that's not the problem here, the issue isn't that OP doesn't want her in her own bridal party, but that she refuses to allow her fiance to have her in his party either. She doesn't get to make that call, and that's why she's the AH. She's allowed to just not gel with someone for no reason, but she has no right to make unilateral decisions on her fiance's behalf.

[@thisbitch3830]

Right! OP doesn’t have to get along with her and can find her exhausting. That’s alright, but they way OP exploded wasn’t correct. If OP fiancé wants to include Lilac in the grooms party then that is his decision. OP made this mess themselves. OP should have never said they don’t like the sister. There is many ways to politely point out that someone drains them more than others.

[@보모]

This is my take as well. Yeah sis could be draining but what does that have to do with celebrating with a brother OP CHOSE TO MARRY

[@jgw5491]

@@thisbitch3830 If she becomes a "grooms woman" I can see her being the life of the bachelor party!

[@MrJpaynebb]

Not all siblings who are blood related get along in a family so expecting a person who marries into a family to do so is unrealistic. OP seems to have forgotten that it's not just her wedding but her fiance's wedding as well. Saying Lilac can't be a bridesmaid is her right but she's a bridezilla and TA for saying her fiance cannot have his sister as a groomswoman. Hopefully that fiance is considering is OP really the woman he wants to become legally tied to and have kids with? OP has exposed herself for being a selfish and self-absorbed woman who doesn't care about even her fiance's feelings on their wedding day.

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

I agree that OP is an AH while she can choose to not have BFs sister standing up for her but can't stop him from asking her. But he is the AH for telling the sister everything OP said. Couples need to quit going to family when they fight with their SO because when they make up the family will not forget everything they were told. The couple will realize that yes things were said in anger or out of context because feelings weren't fully explained in the heat of the moment. But you guys don't clear that up with the people you vented to. Or they were so offended that they never forgive your SO. Stop, just stop.

[@JadedJada]

"She wants to keep hers and is imploring her mother to understand since she kept her wedding dress for so long" This bit FLOORED me, holy shit. The NERVE. The AUDACITY.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

Irony is apparently wasted on hypocrites like Olivia.

[@lauratunes4098]

Re the wedding dress it's not the dress, a material possession. It's the breach of trust and the lies and deceit. The total lack of regard for her mother's feelings. T emotional hurt inflicted is immense and for her not even to show remorse. The parents are under reacting if anything. I'd be hard pressed ever to be civil to such a sociopathic person ever again.

[@Barlmoro]

i would let a lawyer handle it at this stage of disrespect, maybe she wakes up if a letter arrives where she is froced to return or face legal actions. sometimes people only understand the weight of a situation if the are faced with legal consequence.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

When you also throw in the irony of her wanting to keep her own dress. Mom should get Olivia's dress ahead of 40th anniversary celebrations and frankenstein a new dress for that wonderful occasion. Congratulations to OP on 40 years of marriage, I'm sorry his daughter is such a bonehead. His other children sound lovely, which makes me agree with claims of Sociopathy regarding Olivia.

[@LayfonDragnia]

My heart breaks for the sister in story 2. She sounds like a great person who took the news well and maturely. Op literally is saying the sister did nothing wrong but existed in a way I dislike so I hate her. I’m an introvert and OP sounds way more exhausting than the sister.

[@보모]

I get people can annoy the crap out of you simply as they are then it only increases when you have to be around them in abundance HOWEVER if that is how you feel about his family why be with a guy that is physically and emotionally close to his family AND flip when he suggested having his sister to not be in oOP’s wedding party but his as a groom’s woman?

[@dustyrose192]

You are alowed to hate/dislike people. However i dont get why she wanted to marry this dude. You marry the person, you marry their family

[@brigidtheirish]

Lilac is definitely more mature than OP.

[@god-rj5wf]

@@보모 right?? like i get what OP is going for, people like that really drain me and i wouldn't want her to be my bridesmaid either, but what's stopping her fiance from having her as a groomswoman? it's his wedding too, she won't even really need to spend time with her.

[@barbh0]

@@dustyrose192 I don't get why the this dude wanted to marry her

[@stoopingfalcon891]

Why didn't Olivia ask her mother to copy the pieces from the dress to add to the one she was planning to wear? Sounds to me like the mother is a fair seamstress in her own right? Or ask the seamstress making her dress to do that?

[@BlankBrain]

If I was Olivia's fiance and found out what she did, I'd have to reconsider going through with the wedding. Don't marry sneaky deceitful, ungrateful! It's a good thing that OP tipped her cards regarding Lilac before the wedding! The nastiness demonstrated by OP in this story is just the tip of the iceberg. When someone shows you who they are, believe them!

[@MegaInsaneMC]

"the dress wouldn't have been worn." Yes, and? My own grandmother kept her wedding dress up until the day she died. Simply because it was a fond reminder of the happiest day of her life. You can't tell me that it's not normal for people to keep sentimental items from happy times, even if they aren't used or functional anymore.

[@trash-hime]

That seamstress just opened herself up to a possible lawsuit. While she may have been unaware, that doesn't erase the fact she did not have permission to rip parts of the mother's dress off for Olivia's dress by the owner of the dress: Olivia's Mother. Doing so destroyed parts of the Mother's dress that cannot be undone. If the seamstress had ANY integrity and still possessed Olivia's dress, she'd remove the parts that came from the Mother's dress without complaint, return them to the Mother, and apologize profusely for her part in this mess. Olivia destroyed the relationship with her Mother with her deceit. She KNEW she wasn't allowed to do what she did, did it anyway, and then expected her father to "soften the blow". Olivia ruined a precious belonging of her Mother's that had strong memories tied to it, and then tries to coerce her Mother to not take back the pieces she stole because she wants to keep the dress intact and her mother "should understand that". Honestly I say the punishment is too light. I'd be disinheriting and going no contact if I had a child that pulled shit like this.

[@kbf9644]

If Olivia was the type of person to admit she was in the wrong and do something to make it right, like give back her stolen dress bits, then she wouldn’t have done what she did to begin with. She clearly only thinks of herself. Not uncommon in the youngest child. Olivia is TA here. All day long and twice on Sunday, for whining about how important her dress is to her.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

Yep if I was the fiancee and my soon to be wife did that Ito her mother I'd call off the wedding due to the multiple red flags: 1. She is untrustworthy 2. Doesn't care about who she hurts 3. Hypocritical 4. Unwilling to apologise 5. Acts like a child when she doesn't get her way All I would do is apologise to OP about the dress but also thank the family for saving me from making the idiotic decision of marrying their daughter.

[@cloverite]

Olivia is the middle daughter not the youngest. As a youngest child let me say in my experience it was my older sibling that was the AH.

[@Barlmoro]

@@anthonygilmour6236 This. i bet this marriage end with her cheating on the Husband...

[@anthonygilmour6236]

@@Barlmoroyep when he finds out that the kids aren't his and she blames him for it.

[@ImperiousMax]

"The mother is a narcissist over a dress". OP and his wife made CLEAR boundaries regarding how the dress would be used/handled, Olivia overstepped those boundaries and now faces the consequences.

[@couchpotato1185]

Even if the mother didn't have such an attachment to the dress. Any sound person would have asked before. For me it really seems like the trouble in this case was self made.

[@Barlmoro]

she knows that she would never be allowed to do so, so she did the selfish way. i would be patty and would return the parts with force. she would get a letter from a lawyer to return it, and if she not do it, i call on the weeding the police to return it.

[@Swnsasy]

I have 2 girls, grown and gone (son, 27 oldest. 21 and 24 my girls)... What she did, I cannot imagine HOW I could let this go at all. My son, the oldest, is still EYES WIDE after I sent this story to him... Even he said, absolutely no damn way.. He said I would be so hurt for you mom.. It's just wrong, all kinds of wrong.. The fact they thought this was ok to do AFTER being told, DO NOT DO THIS and they did anyway shows she had no fucks to give about the wife's feelings... My son is really freaking texting me like, NO MOM, NO! My sisters would never do that to you though...

[@Barlmoro]

this daughter is so evil and selffish. I would be petty and let the police returne the part at the weeding. And i am 100% sure that this marriage will not last if the daughter has no boundries. This is a massive red flag and i bet that she will cheat, cose "it is not a big deal" or " it was only for FUUUUNNN!!!"

[@thevoidismyhome7242]

Story 1: The commenters being like "You're placing a thing over a person" & "Are you going to sacrifice your relationship over a dress?" are forgetting something. OP did not randomly remove the payment. Olivia randomly chose to destroy something her mother was proud of for selfish reasons, and then expected everyone to be okay with it. OP was *reacting* to Olivia's selfish actions. *Olivia* put her dress over her mother's feelings. NTA OP, good job for conflict management

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "I want to keep my dress like mom did!!1!" Oh so you can understand sentimentality in terms of YOUR belongings, but you couldn't extend that same sentimentality and empathy to OTHER people's belongings as you went and butchered them for the sake of your vanity 🤔 keep the dress Olivia, and I hope any future kids of yours hold the same empathy as you if they get married, maybe then you'll understand 🤨

[@carolroberts4614]

I wish her 6 daughters! Who all want to do different alterations to the dress!

[@MovableNu]

All of this! She sounds like she’s not gonna have any understanding of the magnitude of her actions until she’s betrayed the same way. I also wonder if anticipating bygones being bygones if she produces a grandchild.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: NTA, she had one rule, and she broke it. Not only that, she did not apologize, wants to keep her dress (filed under: How nice for her), lied, and went behind your backs. S2: ESH. I get being introverted and drained by super extroverted people (and that you don't want any pranks during your wedding events), but you know what I do? Take some time away to recharge by myself. What I don't do, is dump on my husband about how much I hate this person he is super close to. However, if I were to tell my husband I didn't like his family for XYZ reasons, he wouldn't run and immediately tell the person I was talking about. If your fiance is going to be married, he needs to figure out how to talk through issues in your marriage like an adult, not run and tell mommy, and give you the silent treatment.

[@god-rj5wf]

hard agree on story two! those guys need marriage counseling and they aren't even married yet lol

[@pragatisingh8467]

lol no one seems to understand that he told the family as a way to ease into the topic of calling off the wedding. He is done. He isn't trying to 'resolve the issue as a couple'. He's telling everyone now so he wouldn't have to explain when the wedding is cancelled. I don't blame the guy. If my S/O will be THAT hateful, almost vindictive to a person I love dearly... for no reason at all, I don't see a future with them.

[@lindah3803]

Story 1: OP definitely needs to get the pieces back immediately. Also not pay for any more of the wedding. That dress wasn't just sentimental to his wife but him as well. This whole event is just a glimpse into Olivia, how she will be acting in the future. Majority of parents raise their kids to be good, dependable, empathetic adults. This unfortunately doesn't always happen. It's not their fault, but that of the kids who decided on their own to be selfish, unreliable, and inconsiderate of family and friends feelings. At least OPs other kids seem to be decent. Have a great day to all Waffle Gang.

[@Barlmoro]

i think she maybe had a bad friendgroup. i wittnes more than one that parents did all right but the friendgroup twistet the child to a brat. Birds of a feather flocks together.

[@marstall5181]

I'm with op , my sister made my wedding dress . She has since passed away , the memories I have with her are priceless! I wouldn't handled it well if someone did that to my dress !

[@magma1lord]

Story 1. Just press charges for theft and vandalism.

[@jazzyg7202]

Story two: op assumes lilac is not upset. Lilac now knows what op thinks about her and if op and fiance gets married she should not be shocked when any important life events lilac has op is not invited. Op seems like the type that when she is not getting invited to Lilac's gatherings she will say "I did not do anything to her and she just does not like me for marrying her brother".

[@matthewuzulis5016]

It drove me crazy when OP said Lilac was not upset, How TF does she know? She only got a text and unless she is telepathic, text messages are horrible to pick up emotional context more so from the description of Lilac that she would be careful how she worded the text so as not to hurt her brothers relationship. If I was the fiance that right there would end the relationship completely as OP just showed how completely flippant she is. I get OP and the sister would never be friends but to out right hate her for being a personality that I would imagine makes 90%+ of people happy to be around is absurd.

[@jazzyg7202]

@@matthewuzulis5016 I was waiting for her to give a reason why she does not like lilac. When she said because of her bubbly personality I was done. My sil was a witch who wanted to be the center of attention at any event such as fake passing out when we did the gender reveal and I still did not hate my sil.

[@matthewuzulis5016]

​@@jazzyg7202I'm an introvert hard, I can literally count the amount of friends that are not related on one hand but I still enjoy people with opposing personalities than mine baring them pushing personal boundaries. I don't know if it's envy or she is just worried about any other women being close to him that has OP like this. Sorry to hear you ended up with such a witch of a SIL, I lucked out that my BIL and I get along pretty well.

[@robertx8020]

@@matthewuzulis5016 Well, I could say "How the hell do you know she is?: do you know her? are YOU telepathic? do you know what the text said? And I agree that the relation is over as it seems her exc needs to share every issue with his family before even trying to fix it with his future wife. He locked himself in a room and started texting his whole family! Where is the 'always communicate' BS now?

[@matthewuzulis5016]

@@robertx8020 Dude chill. It's cool if you don't agree with me but don't take it personally if we don't agree. I can't answer your first question as I'm kinda lost what you are referring to if you clear it up I'll try, no I do not know her but can't elaborate as it seems tied to the first? Don't be pedantic no one is telepathic so no I am not, everything we have been told by OP the sister is kind so why would she all of a sudden cause a scene when there has been no indication prior instead of trying her best to not ruin her brothers relationship whom she loves? Who else is he gonna talk to about this issue? The woman who just said she hates his sister for no apparent reason whom knows they are very close and has said nothing till now? How is he suppose to communicate about this with her who is obviously not willing to communicate? He just got a bomb dropped on him out of no where and you expect him to be able to sit down with the person who did so right there without being able to gather any thoughts? Going by what OP writes he probably has no clue what is going on and why she has such a massive hate that she does not want to talk about (OP's hate for what she said would be hard to take as the only thing), he might be checking with his family for anything his sister may have done wrong to her. OP has mostly built this entire situation herself, I'm not gonna say the fiance has nothing to do with it but from OP's own account this is on her even if she does not realise it yet. OP knew how close they both were and should have understood they are gonna stick together tighter with their past if they are this close, fiance should have been clear once marriage talks started that he would want his sister to be apart of the wedding party (He may have figured it was a given but should have been clear). Just wanting to try to answer your first question if it's in me talking about her possibly being envious or such I was not intending to imply it was absolutely one or another but rather there has to be something else beyond what she listed in her post otherwise she needs serious help.

[@dannietea]

Story 2: YTA. It’s his day just as much as it’s OP’s. He’s allowed to have his sister as a groomswoman.

[@gothlymoor9472]

Yes, completely agree. Plus, if you think about it they wouldn’t be getting married without him because he’s the one that pops the question to even get married. I know not every man does that and women do as well, but it’s still in general the men that propose in order for there to be a wedding.

[@tayganroberts5098]

@@gothlymoor9472 yeah but a proposal doesn’t (or shouldn’t) come with the expectation that his family will be one of your bridesmaids. I can understand why OP got upset at the blatant assumption OP would just have her up their because she’s his sister.

[@nakaidakahn8283]

Something does not sit right with this for op to dislike fsil. And op did not want her to know that she did not like her but fiance immediately got on the phone and told his sister. OP should not marry. brother and sister are too close and he will always put the sister first, we do not know what trauma was experienced

[@SilverMaychan]

Some people just don't fit. I had a problem that I did not like a classmate years ago. I didn't now exactly why but I just couldn't stand him. He did not have the textbook and I had to share mine, it pissed me of and I could not have my dislike anymore. The stupid thing is, everybody else seemed to like him.

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

@@VenusLily He didn't assume. He asked if she was making his sister a bridesmaid, because if not, he was putting her on his side. He was confirming plans, not saying, "you make her a bridesmaid and have no choice."

[@보모]

Daughter deceived that negates any claims of -ssholery from oOP or his grieving wife. Intentional wool pulling over a sentimental item from the mother’s mother. Even if the daughter borrowed an off-the-rack summer dress that would still be a jerk move to ask for a person’s item with the intent to chop it up 2️⃣ engaged to a guy close to family she can’t stand. OOP did not want to be around her guy’s sister during her hen do yet the sister being in the separate groom’s party made her flip-out… Then follows up with a revisionist answer because bridal party ≠ out of wedding in its entirety. OOP finds sis obnoxious. Okay. But why make a relationship official where you don’t gel on social basics regarding family interaction???

[@champslim]

Story One: Olivia wanted to keep the dress.... Smh Story Two: Op sounds just like a very unhappy person. I am a introvert and I understand recharging but Op is just mean. She honestly sounds like " I am not like other girls"

[@riellekoy7196]

The girl was told that it was an heirloom piece and memorabilia of her mother; she was told not to do any more than sizing. She chose the cowards way out, disrespectful her mother, and chose to destroy something that was irreplaceable. The punishment is justified.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I'm really against being forced to invite future in-laws to be in your wedding party. Fiance should not have asked OP for the sister to be a bridesmaid, but OP is still the AH here. It's fine to not want her as a bridesmaid, but her being a groomswoman, you need to mind your business. She plays pranks and she's extroverted...okay. I get being overwhelmed by extroverted people, but this is ridiculous. OP is controlling and not very nice.

[@toriibarlow]

Exactly. My sil didn't include her brothers in her wedding because her husband preferred to have his best friends as his groomsmen. It doesn't mean he's not close with the brothers they just weren't in the wedding. There's not a problem with that

[@Michael.CrazedAlaska]

Yea this, but I’d also say the fiance involving his entire family is really AH, like I get telling the sister that “wanna be my groomswoman? OP wants to keep her bridesmaid to these people and I want you involved” but to cry to mom and dad and everyone else to really make OP the bad guy seems immature. Sit together hash it out. And call off the wedding if OP really can’t get past the sister.

[@mkuti-childress3625]

@@Michael.CrazedAlaska I think so, too! I can’t believe he did that. You can’t tell your family something your SO tells you in confidence. Planning a wedding is incredibly stressful, especially for an introvert, and both the bride and groom deserve space to vent. If she had known he would tell everyone, she probably would have just clammed up about it. I think she the AH for trying to dictate who he has in his wedding party, but he betrayed a confidence, which I think is the behavior that is going to be a lot more of a problem in the long run.

[@vanzy01]

Op is a Debbie Downer. Girl need to get her life.

[@atinyevil1383]

@@Michael.CrazedAlaska ...so you think he shouldn’t have told his family that the *woman he is planning to marry* hates his sister, who he is close with, enough to not want her at the wedding AT ALL? That’s not like he told on OP for not picking the flower arrangement he liked best. She doesn’t want his sister at the wedding. That’s kind of a big deal. Probably a deal breaker.

[@BerryTrekkin]

Story 2: I know there are some people who, for seemingly no good reason, you just don’t gel with. That’s ok! I’m an introvert and some personalities can be very draining when spending extended periods of time with them. But when it’s someone who means a lot to your partner (and they’re not a toxic person) then you have to communicate! Sounds like OP just left this hate bubbling inside until she exploded, and her fiancé was completely blindsided. He probably thought they were just as close as he is to his sister. It’s going to change his entire perception of his partner and left him wondering if he’s going to have to pick sides. This is the kind of thing you discuss before marrying! And if you can’t abide your partner being close to his sister, don’t be with him.

[@theseawriter]

‘Bout to get my driver’s license; wish me luck please! Love y’all Update: I got it! Thanks for all that wished me luck & tips; much appreciated 🥰

[@clairebear-96]

Good luck you got this!!

[@garygreen5345]

good luck

[@JohnSmith-xq1pz]

Good Luck, and watch out for chickens crossing the road

[@sophiej9429]

Good luck! You can do it!

[@ginathecookie]

Gl!!

[@MisterNightfish]

Amazing how in story 1 the daughter is so clearly the AH but people are still trying to spin it in her favor.

[@paden1865able]

Hey, Waffle Bear, I have news from the surgeon! My eye surgeries are in September and won't be complicated at all. Downside is that I'm functionally legally blind until then. But, it's going to be so much better! Much love to you and Poppy!

[@kbf9644]

Good luck! 💚🧇🌻

[@FlamesofJagger]

Best of luck to you

[@MJISA5]

I used to work for an ophthalmologist. I really hope all goes well for you and congrats.

[@fgentry1148]

I worked with someone like the bubbly SIL and my first response to her was also negative. Her name, of course, was Joy. I decided to try to move beyond that, and she tuned out to be a truly joyful person I grew to treasure. Bride needs to check the source of her prejudices.

[@nathanhinman9069]

Story 1: reminds me of the recent post where son got his grandmother's engagement ring to propose and then removed the diamond leaving the original engraved setting decapitated then flipped out when his sister put a new stone in it because his mother was upset. Story 2: RED FLAG

[@rinpaisys]

Story 2: man, it sounds like Lilac is the ONLY person in all this that DOESN’T suck. Op’s description of her oozes with envy, the fiancee is acting like a child about it, the family are all biting at the drama and making it worse…literally the only person acting sane, MATURE, and like an adult IS LILAC.

[@ettinakitten5047]

How is fiancee acting like a child about this?

[@GBunnyG]

Story 2: I am an introvert and kind of a people hater in general. That fiancé needs to take his sister, who would probably drive me nuts, and RUN. Find someone who will love him and embrace his family, quirks and all.

[@RWorley3sl]

I can't stand people like that, and yes he needs to run.

[@nikkiwhray1598]

The bride is probably afraid that spending time with the fiancee's sister will highlight what a miserable witch she is, in comparison.

[@mkuti-childress3625]

OP needs to run, too, because he betrayed a confidence of his stressed out fiance to his _entire_ family. At least she tried to talk to him about it privately first, without doing irreparable damage to anyone’s relationship, like he did. Maybe they just aren’t compatible.

[@GBunnyG]

@@mkuti-childress3625 Fair point.

[@kylaluv8453]

@@mkuti-childress3625 She put him in a bad position. What is he suppose to tell his family when they ask why his fiance us excluding his sister from all the pre wedding parties? And they will ask.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 1 - 6:20 - It's not just prioritizing a thing over a person; it's about the disrespect of the action. The attitude of, "I can do whatever I want, regardless of my mother's feelings - even though it's really her dress."

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

As a seamstress, I just want to drag Olivia around by her hair. That dress can never be remade. She destroyed an an heirloom to add accent pieces to a David's bridal gown. I am absolutely gutted. Those older dresses are just exquisite and the lace and beadwork you see on dresses. Even if you see a gown made in the 1990s, they are still using decent silks and hand sewing techniques for decoration. It can take hundreds of hours for some of this stuff in weddings. A classic dress that people would want to wear today could have anywhere from hundreds of dollars in materials with a couple of FT work weeks behind it to thousands of dollars in materials and hundreds of hours of work. I can't explain to you how gutted I would be to have that down without discussion. He's being generous to his daughter. Seamstresses KEEP these type of items when they are made for such sentimental reasons. I once worked for an Oscar winning costume designer who'd long sense developed a professional distance for her work. I found myself carrying her graduation gown to a meeting that she's handmade 40-50 years before that in home ec classes. IT WAS PRISTINE and had been stored archivally and not used for 50 years. You've seen it. We dyed it and used it for a promotional poster for a very successful film. It was an emotional decision...for someone like that. A wedding gown you made with your mother 40 years ago in another century? WOOF. ETA: The process the mother describes to design the dress would easily involve 100+ hours for a couple of mockups and that's a conservative estimate. My guess is that the dress had at least 1000 hours put into it between the two women, not including later alterations. HOLY FUCK.

[@danisonice.]

How do you ACCIDENTALLY say you never liked his sister and don't want her at your wedding?? 😂😂😂 I'm imagining her trip and fall while holding alphabet soup

[@emiliaortiz2458]

Story 1. it’s not that they’re prioritizing the dress as a material item, but the wife’s memories with her mother. This was obviously something very special between her mother and her, and then to have her own daughter to destroy what sounds like one of the special memory is heart breaking

[@rosemarie1817]

Is anyone else high-key in love with Mark's voice?❤❤❤

[@moimeself1088]

🙋🏾‍♀️😅😅

[@rosemarie1817]

@@moimeself1088 My peopleeeeeee

[@moimeself1088]

@@rosemarie1817 girrrrl, we need to form a support group. I would listen to him read a dictionary! He could comment on all the words he finds funny or weird, and waffle on about the first time he heard/used some arcane word ... 😅😅😅😅

[@rosemarie1817]

@@moimeself1088 Omggg yessssss I could listen to him all day!!! Let's put a petition together where he reads something long, like a book or article(s) about some niche hobby that he likes.

[@moimeself1088]

@@rosemarie1817 supported!

[@Pastel_Dreams]

1st Story: NTA. It's the same situation as the girl that took on of her late mother's dresses and altered it for a Jessica Rabbit cosplay, despite being told not to by her father and older brother. This clothing item is a sentimental piece for the person it belonged to and it's understandable that they don't want anything to be permanently changed.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 1 - The commenter who claims the mom is narcissistic for offering, not forcing, for her children to wear her wedding dress is not her trying to see them look like her is being ridiculous. Some families are more interested in reusing family wedding dresses than others and that’s more than okay if the bride wants to wear it. I’m sure that commenter would likely lose their shit if someone took apart and scavenged an item they said they could use but also made clear wasn’t to be disassembled.

[@보모]

it’s like people claiming it is ridiculous to spend money on an engagement ring to excuse using a family heirloom for it’s stone so they can still get the big ring (they claimed was not part of their beliefs) when their really just cheap but want to front. Get a smaller/different ring let the sentimental antiques be

[@karenrickert9430]

My heart breaks for the mother in story one! Her daughter wanted to make damn sure no one else could wear that dress. A dear friends mother had a wedding dress that she had saved for some 40 years, it was the dress she dreamed of watching her daughters wear at their weddings. The family house burned down and she lost the dress. Her sobs were gut wrenching. OP’s daughter didn’t just ruin the dress she torpedoed her relationship with her parents!

[@macylouwho1187]

My (now deceased) best friend was the quintessential “bubbly blond bombshell”. She was cute and Marilyn Monroe blond and had the biggest personality ever. I can’t even begin to tell you how other women hated on her for that inner light, for her beauty, for her outgoing funny personality. The hate was REAL. In school one of the other cheerleaders handed her a bottle of pills and told her to do the world a favor and take the whole thing. (I proceeded to get into a screaming match with that b-tch I assure you, with promises to kick her azz if she ever said anything like that again). But anyway second OP sounds like a jealous hater. Women are catty b-tches to each other when they are jealous of someone that they feel threatened by. My friend was a good person, there was literally no other reason to hate her BUT jealousy. She did no harm, she was a positive force in the world. People that hate for superficial reasons like that need to take their insecurities and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine 😂. I’ve always been glad to have been her friend in life, because it ended so abruptly so young. She had a medical emergency as a new wife and mother, and two different doctors gave her two different prescriptions for the same problem and the two should not have been taken that close together. They interacted badly, her kidneys shut down, and she died asleep on the sofa holding her six month old son on her chest. He was ok when the dad found them, just hungry and needed changed. But thinking back on her life, I was really glad to have been in it, to have been there for her when she was being bullied for being too special and beautiful. It wasn’t her fault that she put others to shame and that was a “them” problem. They needed to work on themselves if they didn’t feel good enough, not hate and attack someone that couldn’t help who and what she was. There was nothing wrong with “her”.

[@NehaSingh-ee3su]

Sorry for your loss. Women like your friend actually make me happy even though i myself am an introvert. I think they make everything seem more lively.

[@kathleenmayhorne3183]

Daughter with frankendress, what about her sister who did wear the dress? The brother who held it for a photo, and the next generation? Is this entitled Karen insane? How did she ever think she'd get away with it? If she got a dress from a second-hand shop to cut up that would have been okay. To destroy her whole family's main momento to her grandmother, without permission, knowing it was not ok, while her mum is still alive to be devastated with it, then double down and try to stop her mum getting it back at all? What planet is this girl from? Surely she has brain, could have asked her mum to re-create parts for her own dress and avoided the whole furore. The poor seamstress will be mortified. How can people be so unfeeling?

[@delilahbelle2125]

The 1st story reminds me of the film "27 Dresses" when the sister cut up their mom's dress for parts because it was "out of fashion," and Katherine Heigle's character is just devastated. I'd be heartbroken if my child butchered my wedding dress to add to their own. My wedding dress represents so much for me. It's a dress that doesn't just remind me of the day I married my husband (almost a decade ago). When I bought my dress it came in white, ivory, and light blue, and I took a risk and bought it in blue. I loved it in the blue color and felt beautiful in it, but culturally, not wearing white or ivory is frowned up (lots of aunties with whispers and judgements). However, the blue best represented me though, so I bought it in the less traditional color and felt so brave. My dress represents taking steps towards owning who I truly was (am) and no longer worrying what others thought so much. And those convictions have only grown since my wedding (for both myself and my husband). So, yeah, having my dress torn apart would feel awful.

[@jennilynne1977]

I feel sorry for OP's wife. I would be devastated if I was in her shoes. I hope everyone is having a great day/afternoon/night! Peace, hugs and love everyone!

[@SilentSakura-]

Same to you.

[@PeterShipley1]

story 1 : I wonder how much money was saved by the daughter by sacrificing her mom's dress the daughter not wanting to give up her wedding dress as I keep sake is golden

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

I love how some people jump straight to "your wife's a narcissist" people really tale everything at face value and cant think any deeper than that. Also how can you call someoen a narcissist who you've never seen, met, and only heard about for like 10 seconds? I'm willing to bet it has almost nothing to do with the fact that it's a wedding dress but someone destroyed something sentimental to her mother for being able to wear it for 1 day.

[@lina9535]

Story 2: "my wedding" not "our wedding", I see you OP

[@Pepperjack1986]

What is UP with brides not being ok with someone they didn't want in their own wedding party being a groomswoman?? That neatly solves the "I don't want their company" issue while also making sure the person is included for the sake of optics. It also ensures that the person who most wants them there gets to have them near.

[@MontaeIsHungry]

As someone who sews, each stitch the mother and her mother put into that dress they made together was special and a piece of their memory and love. For the daughter not to see that is shameful. She's selfish and entitled and doesn't care how much she hurt her mother. She only asked for the dress and then altered it and insisted on keeping the pieces so that she could feel the most special. She doesn't deserve to keep or use the pieces for her wedding, because the work put into them was selfless love and she stole that memory from her mother and tainted it

[@diamcole]

Lilac sounds like a gem and OP in second story...honestly sounds like she's jealous. It's not just her day, it's his day too. If my fiancé did this to my younger sister, there wouldn't be a wedding! Especially given what we've been through together.

[@InuMokuba]

Story 2: YTA She has the right to not have her in her wedding party, but Chris should be allowed to be in his groom party and she just has to deal. If her just being included at all is ridiculous. This isn't a toxic family member, just a personality difference, her being in his groom party will also take her out of the bachelorette party. Win win. Should be no issue. If OP is meaning how it sounds and she won't be able to enjoy her day if she's even around, then that's beyond being an introvert.

[@coreymartin6486]

Yep. Imo, the OP is not being fully honest to the groom or the readers. There's another reason why she's acting like this and it seems like a personal vendetta. That attitude is not likely to change just because the wedding is over.......she's got a very deep-rooted problem and OP needs to delay, or even cancel, the wedding if it can't be rooted out. This is a red flag of looming problems that may go beyond the sister.

[@sandracox4341]

Also story 2: OP didn't give any tangible reason she doesn't like the sister, just that she's bubbly, happy, charismatic, full of life and a practical joker. OP sounds jealous and worried op will steal her Thunder just by being her friendly, likeable, outgoing self.

[@missNekolover91]

because OP is introverted, I am not saying they can't be friends, but Op gets exhausted from all the bubbliness, fiance is so quick to tell his family, but the conversation about why op is so quiet never came up? or it did and the sister ignored it?

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

That last story is so wow. I'm shy and introverted. However, I'm described by others as bubbly, effervescent, and happy. Being introverted doesn't mean you're quiet, serious, and gloomy, and have to dislike people who aren't. It just means you enjoy time by yourself, with close loved ones, and big crowds exhaust you. She shouldn't blame her issues on being introverted.

[@Lestaticate]

Story 1: Olivia was nervous the entire time because she KNEW what she did was wrong. She could have undid the drama by simply ASKING her mother, or hell bonded over altering an entirely NEW dress for her to pass down. She knew how important this dress was to her mother and stomped all over her heart. I hope Olivia gets her crap together and makes it up to her mother somehow. (Big oof.) Story 2: .... Welp, I don't see this relationship lasting. I get feeling overwhelmed around certain people, but OP just dunks all over this poor girl and tells her fiancee NOT to make her his best woman? That's his SISTER! His best bud! It's his wedding too! Does OP think that she'll never see her again AFTER the wedding? ... Why bring this up 4 YEARS into the relationship?!

[@TailsFan]

I wonder if OP intended to cut him off from his family somehow, maybe insisting on moving to somewhere far away?

[@D-D-Gaming]

For story 2; it'd be a perfect compormise for his sister to be a grooms woman. Like what is the problem with that?

[@srkh8966]

It wouldn’t fit with the “aesthetics” of the wedding party

[@carolroberts4614]

I'm an introvert, but I would never have done what Op wants to do!You can't just cut people out because your personalities clash! And especially not the groom's sister.

[@D-D-Gaming]

@@srkh8966 That doesn't make sense. My sisters husband had grooms women and they wore black dresses and looked nice. So if that is one of the factors OP was thinking, then she is an idiot along with being an asshole.

[@D-D-Gaming]

@@carolroberts4614 Right? OP is just so rude. If she has a problem with a bubbly personality, why can't she just talk it out with her or her fiancee? Instead of giving the ultimatum.

[@hannarow1543]

I feel like the problem wasn't with her being a groomsman but the way the husband gave that option to her like a spiteful ultimatum, when it is clearly just what he should have done in the first place. Its not a compromise from her being a bridesmaid because he never had the right to ask for that.

[@Nuqutu]

Can't wait to see the first story ending up in an episode of Judge Judy.. I would do what I had to, to get the rest of the dress and restore it! Story 2.. "MY wedding". I have when brides say shit like that. You have a husbond, it's HIS day as well

[@davidavallone9416]

Story 2:: anyone else at all bothered that the groom's go-to move was to tell his entire family the same night?

[@romarialavia3041]

Okey so there was finale update of the first story. 2 bridemaids had backed out of the wedding because they found out Olivia cancelled plans with their respective boyfriends through the bridemaids phone, so the could join her plans last minute. SIL (Son-in-law) found it odd and the bridemaids informed him Olivia started acting stranged the last few years since her promotion. So SIL had a took with the OP and wife and found out that Olivia also lied to him about the dress (she told him that her mom was upset that she took to many parts of the dress, indicating that she had permission to take some parts of the dress. Which also made SIL avoid OP's wife because of her upset). Eventually the had dinner and Olivia told them that she wanted similar pieces of the dress but couldn't get them due to costs yet she wouldn't to keep up with the women she works with and had a hard time shutting that personality down. She is starting therapy but the wedding did happened. OP's wife did hand-made the pieces for Olivia's dress. The OP also said that the wedding was alot of fun and beautiful

[@Jeremy-The-Bullfrog]

Story 2. ESH. Yes it is her day, but it is also her fiance's day. However, that does not excuse him airing out that dirty laundry to his whole family.

[@renaeodonnell4558]

She knew mums request was not to do exactly what she did. What a monster of a child.

[@fleurpouvior2967]

Story 1, I would talk to the seamstress who has the daughters dress, and request she remove the wifes dress pieces and return them. If she can't/won't, I would look into legal action, not to hurt her, but to get a court order allowing her to do so regardless of policy. I don't think it would need to go that far, once it became clear the alterations were made/stolen from someone elses property, but sometimes disputes like this do need a judge signing off on things for the store/seamstress' protection.

[@kelleygreengrass]

It's not losing a daughter for a dress. She's losing her daughter for being a crap person

[@bluesheepwolfie307]

I'm an introvert with extrovert friends and sure, long exposure can be draining or get to the point of annoyment when I want to be alone, but i like them because they get me out of my shell and i just love them with my whole heart. You can be introverted and still have relationships with extroverts. It sounds like that lady just has her own issues to work through for not liking the sister, and she's being super selfish to not allow her husband to have HIS SISTER in his side of the wedding party if she won't bring her in. If the sister is in her brother's party, then the bride won't even have to deal with her outside of the wedding day when it comes to wedding celebrations, but she'll still have to deal with Lilac afterwards.

[@gothlymoor9472]

Story 1: The daughter is a butthead. Story 2: The op is completely the asshole. I’m an extreme introvert, but I have a sister that is the exact opposite of me and we still love and admire each other and our differences. So her just blaming the sister for being an extrovert for her reasons of not liking her is a scapegoat. Plus, I don’t believe for a mil-a-second that she has never been rude or passive aggressive to the sister. Just with her oozing disdain from her comments, it’s very obvious that she doesn’t respect nor like the sister which will subconsciously manifest in rudeness/passive aggressiveness towards the sister. Even the best liars can’t poker face that well. I just find this op very heartless. And honestly, I think her fiancé should not marry her plus I think the op shouldn’t marry him either because she doesn’t sound ready for marriage anytime soon.

[@brigidtheirish]

You read her comments, too, huh? Yeah, OP is a *lot* worse than she appears in the original post and edit.

[@ezekial7028]

You are clearly lying about being introvert.

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

@@ezekial7028 Why is she lying about being an introvert? What is an introvert to you?

[@gothlymoor9472]

@@ezekial7028 hahaha, what do I get out of lying about being an introvert 🤦‍♀️? I literally dropped out of high school and got my ged because I couldn’t even bring myself to make it one day a month in school. Just because I don’t hate extroverts doesn’t disqualify me from being an introvert. I don’t really mesh well with their personalities, but I can still admire their social skills and ability to speak to anyone with easy which is something I’m severely lacking. Also, I’ve been bullied for being an introvert my entire life both by strangers and family, so it’s not a fun flex to admit how much I struggle with the smallest interactions. But good job introvert police for cracking this complex case of me lying about being an introvert 👍. Keep up the honorable work.

[@gothlymoor9472]

@@MargaritaOnTheRox I guess my one offhanded sentence about being an introvert automatically makes me not one lol 🤔? I have no idea why that commenter drew that conclusion, but if it makes them feel better then fine. I need to start toting my official introvert membership card to prove my social anxiety these days lol. Thanks for you questioning his odd deduction skills.

[@dianecheney4141]

I’d like to say something about over charismatic people. There’s every chance that her parents forced her into a personality style. She couldn’t be sad, she could be quiet, her parents may have expected her to act a certain way because that’s what the parents might have thought was their happy family should look like

[@DC-FGC]

That first story - "You are free to keep your dress, but only your dress. There are pieces attached to your dress that don't belong to you, and you must return those after the wedding so we can repair your mother's dress as best as possible." Problem solved. If she refuses that more-than-generous offer, then it becomes theft and should be treated as such. The 2nd story - wow, what a c-word. I could understand if the SIL had been mean, belittling, disrespectful, etc. but she hadn't. She's just too extraverted for OP's taste. Not wanting someone she's not that close to on her side might even be understandable(she could even have worded it that way), but going so far as to not want her on *her fiance's side* is just disgusting. I'd have broken off the engagement over such a thing. That said, the husband blasting her to his whole family was wrong(Lilac's message didn't sound like she'd do such a thing, which alone makes her my favorite person in the story and the only one I'm truly sympathetic towards). You don't do that to your fiancee unless you don't want her to be your fiancee anymore. If you have to run to mommy & daddy over a fight you're having, and actual abuse isn't involved(the fiancee was mean, but not abusive), then you're not ready for marriage. I'd have broken off the engagement over that, too. 2 wrongs don't make a right. These 2 people are simply not right for each other, and both have some growing up to do before they're right for *anyone.*

[@autumn557]

I think I understand the personality that the second story is talking about. I think she means air-headed, loud, and probably immature but she’s stating it nicer. Or maybe not and she’s just overall annoyed by a girl that’s doing nothing inheritor wrong but once someone annoys you EVERYTHING they do annoys you. Though I don’t know why she couldn’t be a groomsman and just not be involved in the bachelorette party. Since she’s on the Mens side.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

Good ol' Reddit assuming Narcissism where there is none ETA: My petty ass would take some fabric scissors to Olivia's dress after the wedding on my first visit post wedding.

[@hendyo_98]

I'm guessing those who wrote those comments either don't have a close relationship to their mothers, or don't have anything that holds so much sentimental value to them. Like OP's wife made a wedding dress with her mother, her mother is dead now. That isn't narcissism, that's wanting to keep something that was important to both women alive for as long as possible.

[@elaexplorer]

Story 2: she doesn't like sister in law because she's...happy? OP has some issues. ETA: OP isn't jealous of SIL relationship with fiance. She's jealous that she (OP) isn't more like SIL. She wants to be a happy bubbly person so hates that SIL is what she isn't.

[@missNekolover91]

op is introverted, sometimes hyper and the being always drains other people

[@slothdance2020]

I would never allow the few things I sewed with my Grandmother to be taken apart. Yes, it is a pillow and some other small things that I keep in a box and I love to look at them and enjoy them. My grandmother passed when I was 11. Those are my treasures. I totally understand why the mother wants to keep her dress.

[@shainasawyer4649]

Story 2: introvert here. I have a few bubbly, charismatic friends and while I can’t take them in huge doses, I don’t hate their personality. I enjoy their vibe and what their personality brings to the friendship. It sounds like she’s threatened/jealous of his friendship with his sister. If I was the fiancé, I would think twice about marrying someone that doesn’t like my sibling because they are bubbly.

[@joycetaepke2533]

For that second story, the fiancé is also an a-hole because he immediately ran and told his family. Whenever one partner tattles on the other to their family, I automatically put them in the a-hole category.

[@evarodriguez4319]

Story 1, make Olivia return ALL the dress parts.

[@yourneighborhooddeadpool488]

Sentimental items in the first story touched a nerve with me. I don’t have much of my grandparent’s jewelry and I only have a necklace from one of my grandma’s so sentimental things are very meaningful to me and the fact that Olivia mangled her mother’s dress hit a huge nerve. I’d be pissed if I was the mother and I’d cut her off. But that’s my opinion.

[@karenmandeville7116]

story 1-we have four kids in our family too. all raised the same-love, empathy, responsibility,etc. out of 4 kids, 3 of us grew up to be (IMO) decent human beings. the youngest-my sister-turned in to a narcissistic, greedy, rude human being. so....hey, 3 out of 4 ain't bad.

[@Barlmoro]

question. did you think your sisters friends are maybe the reason she become so rude?

[@karenmandeville7116]

@@Barlmoro she has no friends. she has driven them all away.

[@FlamesofJagger]

🎶🎵Am I the buuuuuttthhhoooolllleeee 🎵🎶 That is one of the best sounds to make a day brighter. Hope you are well Mark. Get those waffles 🧇Waffle🧇 Gang. Much love 🤗💘💕💗💖❤️💜💙💛💘🤗 Waaafffllleee 🧇🧇🧇 Gaaannnnggggg forever!!!💯💯💯

[@magagail]

I’m totally with the comments about the OP in story 2, like she handled it poorly and was being unreasonable. There was a nice way to express to her fiancé that she finds his sister to be too much. The comment about the social battery I feel like would be an understandable explanation of the different personalities. And the fiancés compromise of having a groomswoman was a reasonable one. But the fiancé isn’t without fault. Airing out their personal conflict for the entire family to see, ratting out OP to his sister? Not the move. The only innocent party here is the sister imo

[@kylaluv8453]

I wonder if OP's confession about FSIL made her fiance start to question things. Like what else has she purposely excluded his sister from, what other important events in his life will she try and keep sister from. Dies he want to marry someone who hates his sister that much. She not only dropped a huge bombshell on him but also refused to let him have her in his party. That is te-evaluate your relationship info if you are close to your sibling as they sound.

[@GLoLChibs]

The only way telling his family would be understandable is if he was starting to reconsider the marriage. I know I would be if my partner to be hated my sibling for such a silly reason, wanted our wedding to be all about them, and vetoed my sibling standing on my side of the bridal party.

[@natalieiliadis4177]

Story 2 2-/ update and the judgment was wrong - op didn’t explain it correctly but L and OP have conflicting energy levels which is fair some people are just exhausting to be around. In addition op explains how her fiancé always puts his sister first over OP. That’s not normal. I mean a sister complex is icky. The fiancé was wrong when he then told his whole family what OP told him in confidence and they all started bullying her. You do NOT bring outsiders into your relationship bc that’s NOT a relationship. She clearly didn’t want her in the wedding party bc she is an attention seeker and energy levels don’t pan out. It would make her wedding day draining. But it seems they won’t be getting married bc he went to live with his sister.

[@patriciaalastre2546]

It’s not about a dress, it’s about the vulgar behavior towards her own mother

[@MikkosFree]

Story 2. That's grounds to cancel the wedding. Fiance can't stand the closest person to me? The person whom I have a promise to always be there for each other? Who has not actually do anything wrong? Yeah. This wedding needs to be reconsidered.

[@tamitami9275]

Story 2 OPs fiancé needs to RUN!!! The OP is a jealous b and he will be forced at some point to cut off the sister to make wifey b happy, just because she is a happy person. Wow what an AH!

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 1: NTA OP! I have said it before I'll say it again, if you can't afford a wedding do not get married, save up!

[@brigidtheirish]

1: It's a reasonable rule, one Olivia *knowingly broke.* Olivia proved herself deceitful in the original post and greedy in the update. Also a hypocrite. OP wants to salvage the relationship, but I don't know if that's possible. 2: "Overly charismatic?" What the *hell* is "overly charismatic?" She called Lilac immature but Lilac acted far more mature than OP. Also, as long as Lilac doesn't pull pranks on people who don't want to be pranked, what's the problem? Granted, my maternal grandma was born on April 1st and lived up to her birthday. Even as a much more sedate adult, she gave me plenty of tips on pranking my sisters. I learned what "short sheeting" is from her. And, seriously, if OP hates the sister this much (and all because she's a *extrovert* for goodness sake!) and *knows* that her fiance is so close with his sister, *why is she marrying him?!* She knows she'll have to spend time with the sister as long as she's married to him, right? People need to *think.* Edit to add: I just checked OP's account and her comments make it *very* clear that she is jealous of her fiance's relationship with his sister and that Lilac's youthful energy and habits *annoy her.* She's claimed that everyone in the family babies her but never gave any specifics except for her fiance staying up all night not drinking once because Lilac was in the neighboring state drinking with friends and he might have to drive over to get her. *Horror.*

[@ynmonroe]

Second story: OP is the type that would slowly but surely try to come between the intended husband and his sister. She sucks. This girl did nothing to her and yet she is judgy AF. I hope the groom rethinks this wedding.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Story 1: i was thinking the daughter was TA from the title, but the wedding dress was HANDMADE by OP's wife and her mother?!? I'm speechless. In what universe did she think that was going to be okay? Stopping additional funding for the wedding is a fair and rational consequence.

[@birgittabirgersdatter8082]

The daughter basically stole her mother’s dress. Unforgivable!