My Entitled Aunt Stole Ashes To Give To Great Grandmother r/Relationships

[@paden1865able]

She never should have opened the pendant, PERIOD. Respect is completely lacking from that old bat and your aunt.

[@Gumbier_Than]

Story 1: I wish some of these stories would end in an ass kicking. 😠

[@onepieceisking5493]

I completely agree 💯. People like that more than deserve it.

[@CatLoverX74]

Yes! Some people need a good ass kicking!

[@dethkruzer]

Totally agree. There's no other language that a narcissist will listen to.

[@Feralcottagecore]

A meth addict stole my best friend’s urn with ashes and his glasses. Found them at a pawn shop … urn was empty. Someone kept removing the marker on the street where he died. Every time something happened it’s like I was getting the news brand new over again. People can be so massively horrible. Left his friends and family with nowhere to mourn. His mom was so heartbroken, I assume she ended her life. His family wouldn’t confirm it… but it was two days before the anniversary so… UGH LEAVE THE ASHES ALONE

[@nobodynowhere3322]

I'm so sorry that happened to you and your friend's family.

[@adammiller2606]

As someone who cans stuff like tomato sauces I would have dumped those ruined sauces in their car. Sometimes pre spicing sauces causes the canning to fail, and if you make a basic sauce and spice it later it can be used on just about anything later not just one item. Canning a single versatile item in bulk is a much better use of your time than canning 7 different kinds.

[@Russman67]

Story 3: Sister in law screwed up. And from what she said, it's not the first time. Did she ask for cooking help, Top Chef? No? Then leave the damn pots alone! OP isn't even trying to ban her completely. Just keep her out of her kitchen. Not the asshole.

[@marylincherie1806]

out of her house

[@Jacob-he3sn]

Agree on all fronts, except for the “not banning her” part. OP absolutely banned SIL from her house, as she had previously been told to stay out of the kitchen but she wouldn’t. OP isn’t trying to completely cut off SIL, and is okay with her and SIL both going to family gatherings, but SIL can’t go into OP’s home anymore because SIL can’t follow basic rules. Wonder how many other homes she has already been banned from, and how many she will be banned from in the future?

[@TheArnaa]

Story 3: Even the smallest amount of turmeric causes me three days of vomiting, diarrhoea and incredibly painful stomach cramps. Food tampering is a serious offence. If SIL ever put anything into OP’s food that went undetected and caused harm to another person she would be in a world of legal trouble.

[@asmith8692]

My sister has a similar issue with oyster mushrooms or shrimp. And don't give her anything with sulfate, which includes the majority of wines. If I had been cooking for her and someone went into the kitchen and added a bottle of wine to flavor said item, I would ban them from my house too.

[@anndownsouth5070]

I get a migraine from Tarragon. Turmeric does not go with everything.

[@onepieceisking5493]

Story 1, the insane aunt isn't just entitled, she's a narcissist. In the update she tried to spin a whole story to try to pin all the blame on op. She even attempted to ruin op's relationship with her sister with another lie. Plus she's not sorry at all for what she's done. She can't take that op has good relationships when she tanked her's by stealing the ashes. I wouldn't be surprised if she expected them to believe her not get mad at her and tell her off. Probably made her more upset that they had such a strong bond with op.

[@shebakoby]

Sounds like the great-grandma was a narcissist as well and Kathy either inherited the trait or was the Golden Child and has narcissist-like behavior that she never grew out of. Some "Golden" children aren't actually narcissists but behave that way because they were taught to. De-programming them is possible, unlike an actual narcissist. Hard to say at this point which.

[@Davtwan]

Her projection is strong. I’m pretty sure that message was at least half of her traits.

[@AndyyWithAY]

SIL is lucky she hasn't gotten her ass beat. You do not come to someone's house and add unauthorized items to their food. An apology is NOT a cure-all. I don't think she's sorry for what she did, just getting caught. She's been told this multiple times

[@juliearmfield2634]

OMG the people saying she overreacted have no clue what works is put into that. It's not like this is the first time she's done it and told not to. I don't blame Opie at all the sister-in-law didn't want to listen or didn't care to listen so she had to get her attention somehow

[@NCAnon]

She wasn't sorry she was caught, she was proud of what she did! She was just sorry that she has consequences that she doesn't like

[@tinapetrovicz9741]

@@juliearmfield2634 Processing 40 lbs of tomatoes is not a little job. Just wow!!

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@tinapetrovicz9741 oh i know i grew up having to help my grandma processing canned vegetables on the farm when I was a kid that's a lot of damn work

[@ynmonroe]

@@juliearmfield2634 This! She is a repeat offender, which means if she was somehow too dense to know that it was wrong originally, the first time she did it and OP told her not to should have been enough. I don't know if she just never expected OP to push back or if OP's brother got on her a** and that made her give this weak apology. Regardless, I think OP made the right choice. If a person cannot respect your home, then they do NOT belong in it. The end.

[@rokudan96]

The illegality falls under "desecration of a corpse". You can look up a case of where a woman was mad at her BF cheated so she threw his relatives ashes off a bridge into the river.

[@ashh4929]

I wonder if they can also throw in a caveat regarding gaining the necklace under false pretenses. Freaking "I might have cancer, I'm sooo scared." Given the context of how Beth passed, it would have been less insulting to everyone who truly loved and respected her to spit in their face and take a steamer on their shoes. That just makes this whole situation even more repulsive and smarmy.

[@buildtherobots]

I would love to see the great grandma's former DA husband tell her that it's a serious crime and that he doesn't intend to shield her or her relatives from being held accountable to the fullest extent of the law for their crimes. That would be satisfying just desserts.

[@bribri2925]

What consequences happened? Was she charged

[@0potion]

​@@bribri2925Oh yes she was charged she's serving prison time. Pretty sure she got a couple of years if I remember right.

[@ailinfergan]

He wouldn't be able to handle it anyway, and would have to be recused due to conflict of interest.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: I really want the consequences of her actions to hit Aunt Cathy like a freight train. Cutting her out isn't enough. 🤦‍♂️ She's trying to break families for favor.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah, I agree. Karma is needed here. Hopefully, it'll come soon enough.

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 1 update: I really REALLY wish the mom responded with "at least OP's worst trait isn't stealing human remains"

[@everdreamcosplay]

S3 even with the apology and the new tomatoes... that doesn't account for the massive amounts of time and labor that went into making them into sauce in the first place. That now has to be repeated. If she can't be trusted to act like a respectful adult, she shouldn't be allowed back... at least until OP can see proof that she has actually changed.

[@coffeefan]

I agree with you on the work. 40 ibs of tomato to be canned as sauce is a lot and the SIL is wack if she doesn't realize it's not ok to mess with people's cooking without permission. If it was salt it would be one thing, but turmeric? Just don't intrude! I would consider letting her back in, but she would need to learn some proper boundaries and bro would need to watch her like a hawk or they are both banned.

[@PuppyKatt]

Removal of the two front paws would prove change.

[@Davtwan]

@@coffeefan- Worst of all, it was unsalvageable due to garlic being used. That completely changes the timing of canning the sauce. Don’t mess with other people’s projects. This isn’t rocket science.

[@r.carmichael4236]

I would have been petty and said, “ I was going to donate half to the church to feed the elderly! They can’t have salt in them!” Shame works for idiots

[@kaykay8855]

Story 3: NTA. SIL can add spice to HER food. Op or anyone shouldn’t have to watch SIL like a child so that she doesn’t get into the kitchen.

[@franciebelcher4594]

"She should've married a richer man"?!!!! Wtf!!!! Well gramma, maybe YOU should've never had kids!!

[@SunBeeSmoked]

If I saw FIVE POTS of anything cooking, my immediate assumption would personally be that she’s making food for a large group of people, like a school, a camp, or the homeless, groups that could have all sorts of allergies. Like it’s good ig that that’s not what was happening, but just who sees FIVE POTS of anything and decide that they know EXACTLY what they should do with it? Clearly, five pots is an unpredictable scenario, you don’t just step into those situations, that’s not what you’re SUPPOSED to do anyways. Wild. Absolutely wild.

[@yellowstalk6653]

Honestly I think the option to inherit a deceased parent's job to help with expenses when old enough, complete with paid training, is actually incredibly thoughtful. It's a tough position for anyone to be in, but the alternative would have been SOMEONE in the family needing to fight for more pay anyway.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The kitchen invader sister-in-law story: OP is so NOT the butthole. You don't invade someone's kitchen and screw with their cooking. I gather from this story this kind of thing had happened before. In sister-in-law's entitled mindset, she was just “making it better.” Then she couldn't understand why OP kicked her out of the house and told her she's no longer welcome. I guarantee you, OP’s brother is the ONLY reason that the tomatoes were replaced and why she got the apology letter as well as the carrot cake in the first place. It's very clear to me that sister-in-law has no respect for boundaries, zero comprehension of the word no and nothing resembling accountability. Therefore she had no expectations whatsoever of there being any reprisals or consequences for her behavior. This is the kind of behavior you expect from a kid, not a grown adult. A similar but unrelated story, I had a now ex-friend producer, let's call her Molly, who took it upon herself to edit my writing for me after I had written then copyrighted my first screenplay. In the arts world regarding screenwriting, this editing process is known as coverage. In other words, it's a detailed editing process that is not done to the work itself, but given in a series of notes and then handed back to the writer on how to improve their work. Once I found out Molly had done this, I was livid. I pointed out that my work was copyrighted and what she had done constituted plagiarism. Also because it was copyrighted, she had also crossed the line into copyright infringement. She turned into a blubbering mess claiming she (her famous words) “didn't mean it” and was “just trying to help.” She devolved into a stage-four, five-alarm meltdown that would have embarrassed a toddler. For clarity, Molly was a middle-aged woman with two grown children and was also a grandmother. I got her to stop faking her crocodile tears by saying two words to her: “You're fired.” That stopped her cold. I ended the call. I spent the next week fixing my written work and restoring it to the state that it was before Molly messed with it. Naturally I got message after message and voicemail from Molly that ranged from fake apology to flat out screaming at me. I found it morbidly amusing as she kept going from Margaret White crazy to Pollyanna sweet. Then, out of nowhere I received a message from her with a sloppily written attempt at an invoice where she was demanding payment for her “editing.” Now I'm no lawyer, but that seemed like extortion to me. I consulted a law student friend of mine who brought it to their professor. I brought all of my proof to the professor: the harassing emails, proof that she had plagiarized my work and the sloppily written invoice. Off-the-books, they told me I had a strong case for artistic fraud. Since entertainment law wasn't their expertise, they said, hands-down, that the abusive messages as well as the attempt to get money from me constituted harassment, libel and extortion. Naturally, Molly couldn't leave well enough alone and when she called me up from a different number and I, answered not knowing it was her, she smugly asked me if it was “ready to pay” her. When I told her I had consulted an attorney and I had a strong case of harassment, libel and extortion, I told her to back off or I would file a lawsuit. I also told her keep my name out of her mouth because everyone she talked to about me talk to me. Molly turned into a ghost and I never heard from her again. As it is a small industry her name came up, while I was having drinks with some colleagues. It turned out I wasn't the first nor was I the last person she had tried to scam. It should come as no surprise whatsoever that she's now an unemployable pariah.

[@buckeyenative1365]

Re: tomato sauce story My first thought was what if OP was making the sauce for someone allergic to certain spices. Canning without spices is a good idea so OP can share and not worry a friend could end up in the hospital.

[@GanishTig]

Story 1: What is wrong with people? If I believed in ghosts I would wish this old woman gets a visit from the deceased woman. She deserves a good shake up. Cooking story: anyone messing with my cooking would get a ladle across the knuckles. I add herbs & spices, but don't add much salt & pepper, so that people can seasoning to their personal preferences.

[@Swnsasy]

Omgosh you are on the same mind wave as me, lol.. I'm like man I wish there really were ghosts and they haunted both of them with loud chains, clanking and not Casper! 😂

[@abelink9229]

I don't believe in ghosts, but I would totally invest time and effort and possibly money (like inviting a fake "expert") in creating rumours in the family that the spirit of the deseased is angry and will come for the perpetrators soon.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - NTA 100%. The roommate is not being asked to leave because of her old-fashioned family. She’s being asked to take her shit elsewhere because she listens to said family and treats people badly because of it. If she had any common sense she’d realize that biting the hand of the person who is paying majority of the bills was a stupid idea, instead of acting so surprised and outraged that she is being asked to leave.

[@darlingccs2799]

Story 3: NTA. The utter entitlement of the SIL. I cannot imagine doing something like this. I don't even open pots in other ppl kitchens without permission! No wonder she's banned.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Wearing the trousers of your work UNIFORM is manly?? Roommate definitely needs to leave. Any abuse in roommates family isn't OP's problem. It's so unacceptable for the mom to 💩 talk OP

[@averycheesypotato]

There’s still many people out there who don’t think women should be allowed to work in certain fields… Such people should dismiss themselves from society & go back to living under their rocks

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 3 - NTA. SIL is beyond rude, disrespectful, and stupid to think that she should mess with other people’s cooking. She’s 33, not 10, she needs to act it. I would never let her in my house again either.

[@Icalasari]

Woah, I was only half listening while doing other stuff and thought this was about somebody's 10 year old daughter. The sauce ruiner is 33!? That's even worse!

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

She's Al's been told not to do this multiple times. She's had years to get her sh!t to gether and she's still doing this. OP could have said she punched her in the throat and she still wouldn't be the a hole.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

@@Icalasari Right?! She’s only a few years older than me and I could never picture myself doing that unless I was asked for help by the person preparing it and they gave me permission to add what I think the sauce needed. The absolute gall the SIL has is shocking lol.

[@nobodynowhere3322]

I love how SIL says the sauce needed flavor. the whole point was to have plain tomato sauce! and if she wanted to "help" she could have told OP that she likes to add (whatever she added), not just do it without her consent. OP even said she wasn't a big fan of turmeric and that her sil adds it to almost everything. say you like to control people without saying you like to control people.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 3: NTA If someone came into my kitchen to try to alter my cooking in any way they'd be leaving with spatula shaped bruises on their hands! In the SIL's letter I have a feeling she didn't properly apologize to OP for any of her previous kitchen intrusions.

[@bunnyslippers191]

The food tampering story has me unreasonably angry. OP says she cans the tomato sauce plain and unseasoned because when she uses it she seasons it when she prepares whatever meal according to the recipe *for that particular meal.* Those particular spices would not by any stretch of the imagination be appropriate for tacos, to be added into a pot of beef stew/soup, or several other uses. Also, I, personally, don't want turmeric in my pasta sauce. Other people may like it in theirs, but I do *not.* I put turmeric in Middle Eastern and Indian dishes, and I go easy on it even in those dishes because it can upset my tummy if I get too heavy handed with it. I can munch down pickled jalapeño peppers whole with no ill effects and often put dried ground chipotle in soup and even in pinto beans, etc., but with turmeric I have to restrain myself.

[@vanillablossom]

Ikr, my family always made big batches of plain tomato sauce and smaller ones of tomato based sauces (homemade ketchup, zucchini ketchup, some Mexican style sauces, Indian style sweet & sour sauces etc.) and whole canned tomatoes, also plain. It never did cross my mind to even salt the plain tomato sauce. The whole tomatoes sometimes get some basil, onion or garden herbs, but they are usually plain, too. Plain tomatoes have many uses and can be seasoned accordingly. It's a staple at this point, you don't mess with staples.

[@civivva4501]

We haven't had a food tampering story for a while. I am still confused and worried about that story where the husband who was a policeman was always adding ingredients to his wife's cooking. These people are mental and can not be trusted.

[@dionysus_adores]

You know i had no idea this needed to be said, don't steal dead people.

[@sammieh9695]

Op should file a police report against aunt for 1, theft of the ashes and 2, defamation of character. Op can prove aunt defamed her character in writing. Op can prove with witnesses (mom and other family) aunt stole the ashes. Aunt Kathy has overstepped when op didn't prosecute at the beginning, don't make the same mistake by no prosecuting now

[@noneedtoknow07]

I think defamation only counts if it affects the persons quality of life. Otherwise it's just standard run of the mill BS.

[@Sherwoody]

Just a little note here, most superglues can be dissolved with acetone.

[@MsTemptation]

The last story: Op is a better person than I would have been under those circumstances. She would have worn some of those tomatoes while being escorted(thrown)out of my home.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 2 nta. When i heard the title i rolled my eyes because people like using that as a dog whistle. When she started explaining more in detail she is so right they are there misogynistic. She's good to get out of that situation and away from that toxic attitude

[@kristinewatson3702]

Aside from the disrespect who puts turmeric in tomato sauce?! Am I missing something? 😂

[@amyjordan195]

Do people put tomato sauce in mac and cheese?

[@messinalyle4030]

An apology letter and a carrot cake is an awful lot of trouble to go to in order to supposedly "make it up to someone" for seasoning their food without permission. A whole lot more trouble than . . . I don't know . . . not seasoning food without permission! I don't think she learned her lesson. She was just trying to get OP to let her guard down so she could get away with doing it again.

[@Zanzetihunter]

First Story: What the actual hell? Aunt needs sued yesterday! She is slandering OP and stole ashes! What if she spouts her lies to someone who doesn't know OP as well as her mother and sister? OP's reputation would be ruined and people WILL be cruel to her or discriminate against her. Story 2: I don't know much about Indian culture, but it sounds like RM's Mom needs a kick in the butt. Isn't OP doing what children are supposed to do? So why is she throwing a fit about it? Story three: SIL needs banned for life from OP's house. If she doesn't stop she will kill someone. My sister is allergic to tomatoes. Majorly allergic. Like she eats even a tiny bit she will get VERY sick and run the risk of dying. SIL can cook and season her own food in her own house and leave everyone else's the f alone.

[@pureegg]

S3, I'm allergic to garlic! If she did that to my food, I'd be projectile shitting blood while writhing on the ground in pain. Very arrogant and irresponsible of SIL.

[@CatLoverX74]

First story had me so angry! She should definitely call the cops that’s theft! The last one blew my mind! 🤯 Who touches someone else’s cooking?!? That is absolutely ridiculous! I’d be furious too! Definitely wouldn’t let her back in my house 😡

[@Tyanna01]

Story 1: I can relate to OP's story. My mother's sister (stopped calling that woman my aunt in my teens....) was like OP's aunt. Unhinged. Lies always spilling from her mouth. Tried to manipulate everyone in the family, and always played the victim. I cut her off in my 20s, so what did she do? Spread a very vile lie through the family to try and get me to confront her so she could talk with me. I have a feeling that's what OP's aunt is doing....trying to bait OP into confronting her so she can say her piece then play the victim. I never fell for it, and OP shouldn't either. Leave crazy well enough alone.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree. Leave selfish and crazy behind and never look back. Hope you don't mind if I borrow your term "Leave crazy well enough alone".

[@Tyanna01]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly Have at kind internet stranger :)

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 3 - NTA and I applaud OP for banning the SIL from their house. If I get the tomato sauce right, OP was making what is basically a large batch of passata, aqnd if I understand passata right, it is the most basic version of processed tomatoes in Italian sauce traditions. It is basically tomato puree, maybe with a little salt, but that is all. Every red sauce can be made from it by taking a reasonable amount and adding seasonings and spices according to the meal. What the SIL did was turn a batch of multi-use base sauce into a very specific [Italian-American?] flavoured tomato sauce. What a waste of potentially multiple different meals. I am glad the brother upheld the recompense for the adulterated sauce. It reminds me of the sugar fiasco - a lot smaller than 40 pounds of tomatoes, but I was making my large batch iced tea from total scratch and making up a quick sugar syrup and lemon juice instead of the soda I use now. The white sugar was being stored in a large canister and at the time Mum was pushing to try use more stevia, which I baulked at because I don't like how it tastes. Some time while I was not present (I don't recall if I was out at the time, it's been a few years), my brother Noddy got it into his head to mix the stevia into the sugar, and Mum agreed. Let's just say when I found out, I broke down in a crying fit and near-panic, and had to put myself to bed as I do when I have major emotional incidents.

[@dragonleheart2137]

If you have your own kitchen gremlin a well placed motion activated toy can help solve the problem. A singing Christmas tree in summer or a screaming pumpkin around Christmas work pretty well. Pressure activated mats are also an option but more readily visible and easier to step over. These options are noninvasive, easy to set up, and provide an alarm that your kitchen gremlin is approaching it’s quarry. Once the gremlin is sufficiently startled you have the opportunity to save your precious items. If someone did this and posted it on KZbin I would probably watch 😀.

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 2 - The point in the update about respecting how different cultures function is something I think people need to remember. More Asian cultures than just Indian have generational households, with children supporting parents, and I think that is actually a really nice factor (if it is not a toxic family).

[@boneymeroney2674]

When I was younger and did a butt ton of the cooking for the big family/friends feedbag, I hated to have anyone messing with my pots. I remember someone, without tasting the sauce at all, reached up to grab SALT. 😮 I had a meltdown. Everyone in the fam damily was on a low salt diet. I had seasoned the meal perfectly with very little salt for a specific reason. 😅

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: My mother tried something similar when I first went NC with her (she couldn’t stand not getting under my skin anymore): told everyone how awful I was for moving out and not talking to her, I hurt her feelings and broke her heart and she had no idea why I wouldn’t see her! I came back with receipts: her years of abuse, the fact that I didn’t move out but she kicked me out. Everything she had done to push me to this point. And I cced the rest of the family. Some of the things I had witnesses for, who were copied in, so they could verify my side. Done and done. She still tries to cry to any and everyone who will listen, especially now that there are grandkids I’m “cruelly keeping her from having a relationship with” (never mind that she slut shamed my seven year old daughter when she did see a pic), but the family is aware of her tricks. They also know not to share pictures or info about me or the kids, or they will be cut off too. S3: NTA. 1) You’ve asked her repeatedly to not touch what you’re cooking, and she continues to do so with no remorse. 2) They came over to pick up a bag of clothes. She had no business being in your kitchen at all, let alone messing with your sauce! The audacity! 3) When you asked what she was doing, she shamelessly said “I fixed this for you.” As if first of all you don’t know what you’re doing and secondly, not all canned tomato sauce is used the same way! Seasoning it all as though it’s spaghetti sauce or whatever means you can’t do anything BUT spaghetti sauce with it now. (Not to mention, what if you don’t like the way SIL makes spaghetti sauce?) 4) She wasted 40 pounds of tomatoes! That alone would make me furious. Bottom line, you’ve tried asking her to stop seasoning your cooking multiple times, and she not only continued, but still thinks she’s “fixing it.” This is rude, inconsiderate, and selfish. She doesn’t care how you like your food, she thinks her way is better - *for food she’s not even going to be eating!* So since she’s made it crystal clear she won’t listen to your request *while a guest in your home,* you had to start setting boundaries. Otherwise she would keep doing what she was doing and wasting food. Tell your mother she is welcome to have her food over seasoned and to waste 40 pounds of food, but for you this was the sauce that broke the camel’s back, and you have had enough.

[@blitsriderfield4099]

When you make a base sauce, you make it plain and then season it later so it can be used for multiple kinds of dishes. if you DON'T do that, you wind up with chinese food with a hint of italian, or mexican with french, or ethiopian with japanese. the base sauce, unless it's for something specific, is a canvas.

[@WoodlandT]

Interfering with/theft of/desecration of human remains is a serious charge & universally considered to be morally reprehensible. Op 1 should absolutely report it. She doesn’t necessarily have to win in a court to regain possession of the ashes. The light shone on the situation by involving authorities would likely achieve the desired result

[@AndyyWithAY]

Ma'am a blind person would have found out 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ You had a big AF glob of super glue on there that multiple people could confirm wasn't there before you borrowed it

[@darkmask5933]

Story 2: I know there are countries that do this, just like in the US there are laws where parents have to financially support their children up to a certain age, there are laws that also force children to support their parents up until their deaths. I always wonder how the average person on those countries think about that relationship, every so often (very, very rarely) we might hear a story about this (I remember one where a daughter had an emotionally abusive mother who always treated her like she didn't matter, so daughter was just like 'I'll pay for you like the law says but I am never visiting you again').

[@NovaGirl8]

It can be a mixed bag. OP seems to have the ideal family situation as her elders do not seem that controlling and she has a great relationship with them so supporting them is not a huge a mental and emotional drain on her. Roommate on the other hand seems to have a mother (and father?) who will dictate her every move with little wiggle room. I do wonder what will happen to OP when she marries (if at all) as she is the main breadwinner.

[@lisachicoine5172]

Ashes story. A haunting I would go. Neither aunty or granny would get another peaceful nights sleep, I would do everything I could to convince them that Beth was mad and haunting them. By time I was done they’d be sleep deprived, terrified and begging me to take back the ashes, in the hopes of stopping the nightly torment.

[@tk6239]

When my grandma passed we had a huge family rift. I paid for her cremation and my aunt and uncles tried to steal her ashes from the cremation place and them my aunt tried to say we were stealing and transporting a body of state lines. They were crazy and my grandma was put with my grandpa's ashes. 20 years later they are still crying theft.

[@kaitlynhall2112]

Death and weddings will always expose the petty and dark side of families. My mom worked in a funeral home (office part/contact with other funeral homes/doc offices etc) and the best stories she had were always the ones where the cops had to be called or they would have tailgate parties in the parking lot. Story 3: I would have told the SIL “are you Gordon Ramsey? Then GTFO of my kitchen!”

[@gracelinnO3O]

Story 3: NTA she can forgive her but I stand with op that she should not be let back into her house again.

[@Lestaticate]

Tomato Story: When I heard “40 lbs of tomatoes”, my heart got caught in my throat. If people need help, they’ll ASK FOR IT. What a waste of food. I’d kick her out with her damn “custom” sauce. She’ll be eating that abomination for the rest of the year. There was an old story of another OP’s husband who also did stuff like this behind her back. Her father became very ill in the middle of a meal and had to leave early. It turns out her husband’s “improved” her dish by secretly dumping salt into it - the poor dad had a heart condition. Her husband had the audacity to get angry at OP and storm out after being confronted. What made this more disturbing is that he’s a freaking cop.

[@susanvanophem4569]

I can tomatoes, and if someone messed with them, I would kick their butt! I totally agree with you.

[@Angry_Red78]

I love Mark's comments on any story involving food. You get so heated. 🤣🥰

[@TheCheaPet]

Story 1. My mother's side of the family is like this. They tried to convince me to have my dad give up his cemetery plot so my aunt could be buried beside my mom. When that didn't work, two uncles and a cousin told me I was never considered family. Why? My mom was attacked on a date and had me, so I guess I'm not a real person.

[@ArcaneNim]

I'm so sorry those family members are garbage. I hope you have some better people in your life.

[@nikkihorn3852]

Story 3 I would have flipped my ever loving 💩. Do not mess with people's food. OP was most definitely in the right and far more polite than I would have been. Get a magnetic lock that they use to keep toddlers out of cabinets for your spice cabinet if you end up having her over ever again.

[@oakenshadow6763]

Who the hell steals human remains? Especially against said person's wishes?!

[@person9433]

Story 3: if the OP ever invites her back. I'd suggest putting up a sign on the kitchen. "No Unauthorised Access. That means you, (SIL)." Public shaming works wonders. Especially if everyone is pushing the OP to host again.

[@desertgirl8647]

Story 3 reminds me of the story where the sister poured maple syrup into the OPs spaghetti sauce and ruined it. OP went off on her, and her family says she overreacted. The sister also made some other awful dish, and OP said she would have to eat it.

[@barneytaylor9338]

Story one: Violence is always a choice, but in this case several people are CLEARLY pushing their luck. Story two: Honestly, we could use a bit more of both companies stepping up to care for their employees and families stepping up to take care of each other like that in our Western culture. Story three: Leave people's Food alone. Although am I the only one struggling not to judge 40 POUNDS of tomatoes? You do you though man.

[@clairebear-96]

Last story, obviously don’t mess with people’s food, but I’m almost more horrified that she added tumeric AND italian herbs??? Like maybe it’s just me but those sound absolutely awful together 😂💀

[@averycheesypotato]

Yeah- turmeric is great on many things, but rarely Italian tomato sauce!

[@NemFX]

Story one: for glue, you can always use vinegar. It doesn't always work, but it's cheap and typically doesn't damage anything its put on.

[@AryonaSamoto]

Story 1: I understand OP, it really hurts when you realize or learn how awful ones family was. I hope a miracle happens and OP gets the ashes back🙏❤ Story 2: OP is a very strong person and still kind enough to look for solutions despite being the hurt party. I hope everything works out for OP🤗 Story 3: I hope OP stands her ground🙌. If she gives in it will keep happening because SIL stomped all over the same boundaries before and never learned.

[@KCohere33]

Story #2: I think what the OP is doing is so cool. Her idiot roommate should shut her yap if she has nowhere else to do, and don’t let her sexist mother influence her.

[@susankaempfer8427]

16:24 I would effing flatten that SIL

[@meadowsong8560]

I wouldn’t be able to even begin to forgive SIL until she prepped/chopped those 40lbs of tomatoes. That is so much work!

[@PuppyKatt]

I wouldn't let her TOUCH the new batch of tomatoes; she's liable to do something to them, too, but use the excuse that OP is currently not cooking, so it doesn't matter.

[@Tammohawk1]

I'd go ballistic on someone who decided to spice up my food that I'm cooking. Who does that? And she would know exactly how I felt about it all. Boundary stompers suck.

[@hvymax]

Tell Great Grandma that Aunt will haunt her forever over this. Tell her she will be haunted for eternity. Tell Aunt that she will be haunted after Great Grandma ends it all!!!

[@RequiemPoete]

Story1 A: report them for grave robbing. B: publically blast them C: Sue them for emotional damages

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Did a twelve hour overnight got 4 hours of sleep now to do it again. Mark is #1 for me to listen to when I get up. Love this community and listen to reruns all night just to get some peace in my life. We all need some moral compass in our lives. Love to you all Blessed be Mark And everywhere the light touches in this darkness ❤️

[@rachelboyer9186]

Story 3 had me on edge! If it’s one thing I learned about cooking is that you NEVER interfere with what another person is making if you taste what they are making and make a suggestion like more salt or pepper etc. Then the one who is cooking is the one who adds the additional spice or not. I have also le😢that with cooking there is no subtraction only addition!

[@civivva4501]

'...Ash theivery...' Wow. This sounds like a bad plot from a film.

[@Azulakayes]

I think people who steal ashes are just vile.

[@jennilynne1977]

I hope everyone is having a great day/afternoon/night! Peace ☮️, hugs 🤗 and love 😘!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8💜💜🤗🤗

[@meimei51793]

19:44 lmao this reminded me of the time a highschool art teacher painted directly on my work without asking instead of just telling me what she thinks i should do or idk asking and when she walked away it went from pretty floral field landscape to psychedelic and every petal saying “its my art”

[@maddieeffler6362]

I misread the title as "My aunt stole MY ashes" and was like !!!

[@evarodriguez4319]

I would get a lawyer to demand the ashes back. File a police report. If her husband is a DA, he might not want his reputation impacted.

[@Zminator1986]

Story 1: Call the cops and report that someone stole a body.

[@blitsriderfield4099]

wouldn't it be desecrating a corpse? i mean i know it's ashes but it's still the remains of someone

[@shebakoby]

The only other way to get the ashes back is after great-grandma croaks, unfortunately. (Not unfortunately because she'd be dead because that'd be a good thing, but vile narcissists often tend to live long just out of spite)

[@YellaBellaReno]

SIL was an asshole, and OP’s anger was completely justified. Sometimes the change we ask of people doesn’t really sink in until they get an escalated response to their undesirable behavior. Basically, some people need to get yelled at for anything to register. That’s why expressing anger as anger can be both healthy and productive, as long as you have thoughtfully considered what is and isn’t worth justifying your anger in the first place. Self reflection, ya dig? Anyway, sounds like SIL might have needed to see OP’s anger to snap into a little self reflection. Apologizing and replacing the ingredients is a good gesture, and if SIL can sincerely accept that the path to healing is now in OP’s hands…. then OP should set some clear boundaries about the kitchen and make the whole family aware of the rules. Everyone is invested in keeping the peace and being together, so everyone should know the rules and share the responsibility of enforcing them.

[@leighnisbett9691]

S2, Op you are doing the correct thing by making sure that your family is supported and it seems that your culture has job security by making sure that the eldest child is offered their parents job if they ain't able to do the job themselves and your sibling going to college means that your doing an excellent job of providing for your family as it improves the quality of the family fortunes by your family members getting jobs away from the Indian rail network or they become office staff in the local area .NTA

[@maidprowo9546]

Who tf adds tumeric to tomato sauce

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Story 3: I’m ctfu cuz SIL moved _fast!_ She got to all _five_ pots with all those seasonings. It’s almost impressive, but also WTAF?!

[@yikesforever13]

perfect timing, just woke up

[@Silence-1170]

Hi waffles hope you are all doing well today! Stay safe and stay positive waffles!

[@kt3255]

Story 3 reminds me of shortly after I bought my house and my mom came to visit. She decided to unload the dishwasher for me (yay, helpful!)…until that led her to the decision to rearrange my kitchen to what “made sense to her.” Words were had. And a couple weeks of me phoning her every time I needed to know where she hit this or that item taught her to leave. the kitchen. alone.

[@vernell2601]

Happy Sat waffle gang

[@sgtwhisker26]

What’s up?🖖

[@kronos0316]

No, let's be miserable 😏

[@ladybetrayus69]

Story 3. Holy hell this made me see red as someone who has stomach issues ( IBS) and gastritis and has a issue with spice like pepper and other strong tasting ingredients it makes me sick. I was offended for op.

[@Kirby-zp6cg]

Good day/evening everyone!

[@Latchkeyclown]

In California, when my dad was cremated the funeral home, signed by, gives out a permit to all the people keeping the ashes that specifically says the ashes of the person dead can reside at the listed address(es) only.

[@ArcaneNim]

Story one update: Aunt is pulling some DARVO bs. (Deny, Attack, Reverse, Victim and Offender.) She's calling OP manipulative, all while she's the one being manipulative.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Last story: Never touch someone else's cooking! Yeesh!

[@Cheri8795]

Wow! I swear the more that I learn about people, the less I understand them! I know everybody is different, but I am a grown woman and it wasn't until the last few years that I realized how different. I can't even imagine treating strangers the way the people in these stories treat people they supposedly care about! Take care everyone! Stay safe and try not to let the strangeness infect you. Lol Have a great day/night!✨🌸✨🌸✨

[@bunnyslippers191]

The family in Story 1 is so fucked up because the great grandmother is a total Narc and influenced her kids to be Flying Monkeys and Narcs themselves. This is how trauma is passed down through the generations. It takes a lot of therapy and shiny spines to stop it from contaminating the future generations.

[@KarmaTheDragon]

story 3: NTA touch my food you get the knife. I'd have done the same damn thing or broke down crying. that much tomatoes, that much work is INSAIN and besides!!! SIL got told before to not do this! If you aint cooking your ass better not be near the fire. ACTUALLY EDIT TO ADD: how DARE SIL add stuff! What if OP is needing to watch salt? My grandmother needs to have a low salt diet for her health! UHG i am so mad for OP on this

[@moxie3907]

Story 3, not only did SIL ruin OP’s sauce, but how much additional resources of OP’s did she have to use to season the forty pounds of sauce?

[@wheelsndealz]

story 3. her behavior is so beyond right/normal that I would need her to write a letter explaining her thought process. why she thinks what she did was right. don't just make her apologize for her actions but make her explain her reasoning. make her confront them. that's the only way to stop them in the future. she's like an immature child, you can tell them no, but if they don't fully understand why, even if you think it should be obvious, she will continue to do them.

[@abelink9229]

Story 3: I would set a waiting time period, say, half a year or a full year, before the decision to allow her into the house can even be considered, and just keep an eye on news in the family. If during that time SIL decides to eff up someone else's cooking - nope, you failed probation, still banned. If she manages to keep her paws to herself, then possibly allow her into the house, but next ban should be permanent.

[@CrazyWolf2468]

First story hey OP you could always put a curse on your aunt! All you got to do is find a penny on tails side up hold it in your left hand and pour all of your negative energy into it turning it into a cursed item after that just hand it to her wait until after she takes it than let her know that it's a cursed item and that from then on she will have nothing but bad luck the only way to get rid of the curse would be to give the penny back to the one whom gave it to her

[@jackorluna6480]

The last story , I would have gone off on her & her sending the cake feels like she made it & tries to prove that adding more ingredient wouldn’t hurt

[@sequoyasierra5671]

People like the sister who ruined the tomato sauce think they know better than anyone else. They think their taste is superior to all others regardless of whether or not they even know what the chef is trying to achieve. Everything they do uninvited in someone else's kitchen reeks of entitlement and superiority. She, by her behavior, insults every person whose dish she has adjusted without invitation. This wasn't about 40 lbs. of tomatoes or 5 big pots of tomato sauce. This is about an insulting, superior acting, individual getting put in their place because they finally went too far. Good on OP for the stance they have taken toward the sister. She deserves it.

[@Aluranae]

Story 3: as someone who's still practicing their cooking but is *fiercely* protective of what they're working on mid-recipe, if I had anyone add ANYTHING to my baking while I wasn't looking they'd be the star in my next chili recipe. ...okay not seriously but you know what I mean. It's just insanely disrespectful and the fact that its happened multiple times is officially where I'd draw the line too.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

What shall I bake today? Baking is my passion, I bake and send most to my sons place of work. Maybe a Black Forest cake and New York Cheesecake 🤔

[@carolroberts4614]

I fancy the New York cheesecake! Can you send some across the sea to England?

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Ooooo yummy

[@ArcaneNim]

Can't go wrong with a good cheesecake! 🎉