MY EXPERIENCE WITH CHOKING ANXIETY: PART 2

[@Luckichiaralucianna]

I had my choking phobia from 10 years old until I was 19 years old. I lived on mash potatoes, ice cream, baby food and Ensures. I literally woke up one morning and was petrified to eat. I went to Doctors, psychiatrist and psychologist. Endoscopy and barium throat swallow testing. They told my parents and I that I will need a feeding tube. I wouldn’t menstruate or be able to have children. My father went to church everyday and prayed. Nothing worked. I n an nothing. Just like the way it started it ended. One day when I was 19 I was hungry and wanted Italian hoagie and just bought one and ate it. Never had a fear of choking ever again.

[@anaamrainbow4119]

I dealt with this for 2 years and it’s gotten better to the point where it doesn’t interrupt my life anymore - I promise you with help it gets better I am an example of that ❤️

[@Samah-lh1eq]

how??💔

[@migo4747]

hey i found your comments on so many videos because ive been struggling lol. just wondering how you’re feeling?

[@migo4747]

@@Samah-lh1eqhave you fixed it?

[@gisellef458]

I’m currently going through this and have been for 2 months now I’ve lost 10 pounds and I’m doing CBT therapy but everytime I eat or drink I can’t stop my thought of me thinking I’m going to choke or aspirate. It started from difficulty swallowing due to a physical symptom of anxiety but after that one time I got so scared everytime I had to swallow my throat would tense up and it would be like a spasm. I really feel like I’m never gonna get out of this and I just wanna feel like myself again

[@rogerramjet5214]

I am so sorry that you have had these issues! I had no idea, and I was thinking you were having relationship problems or something like that. Can’t wait to see you again, Natalie….best wishes!

[@greggg6482]

You have no idea how much hope you’ve given me! I’m going through this now and I’m hoping to start therapy for it soon. I’m glad you’re getting over it! And I hope soon you beat this completely

[@Samah-lh1eq]

how are you now?

[@jamescurfman3284]

SO NICE to see and hear you again! So you are doing better. Baby steps. I am such a garbage gut that texture ALMOST doesn't bother me. However there are very select foods that I have always had problems with (two just off the top of my head), so of course I will not tell you that I fully understand the problem you are having (as much as I want to understand) but I do know those problems are real for other people. You really are getting things figured out, which is WONDERFUL! I am so happy for you and more importantly, I am proud of you! I know that sort of stuff takes effort and time to work through. But you are doing just that. You will be fine, you are strong. I know that it is difficult for you to find enough energy just to get out of bed, so I get that the videos will be spaced far apart. But sometimes I REALLY worry; this time they were far enough out from each other that I had thought the worst had happened to you. I don't want to one day find a video on your channel that somebody else had to make. I want you to be safe, happy and of course healthy, as you absolutely deserve to be. Well, there is me being sappy AND creepy. I am sorry about that, but I do get attached to people very quickly even with barely any kind of contact. I have always been that way. So I really don't mean to be clingy, I really just want the best for you, only the very best. Please keep the videos coming (at your own pace, of course). Much love.

[@IAmYou_N]

Thank you for your on going support and don't worry i'm not kicking the bucket any time soon. I mostly have started to have an aversion to being on camera, social isolation obviously doesn't help that. and honestly i don't really have anything interesting to say really my life is mostly doctors visits and being a potato hah none of which is really thrilling content.

[@jamescurfman3284]

@@IAmYou_N I do understand all of that. What kind of a vlog would that be, anyway? And the isolation part I get as well, it's going to make some problems come out more clearly, maybe even make them worse. Hopefully, everybody uses the isolation for at least some amount of self-improvement. Anyway, I am VERY glad you are still with us. You're so strong! Luv ya!

[@todddembsky8321]

Nattering, it is so so SO good to see you. What ever you are doing, it looks like it is working as you look healthy on camera. God Bless you, I still pray for you every day and was thrilled to see this video. You are an amazing woman with incredible will power and zest for life.

[@IAmYou_N]

Aww thanks !! Happy to hear from you hope you're staying safe :)

[@tomhansen45]

Thanks for sharing! I had no idea this was a thing - and it widens my conceptions.

[@JacobRobAJ]

Great video as always. I miss seeing videos from you. Hope all has been well. Hope to see more videos from you soon.

[@IAmYou_N]

[@gauntlet4791]

I miss seeing your reactions and videos about yourself. Hope you are doing well and hope you had a great holiday! ❤

[@IAmYou_N]

Thank you !, my latest social media posts might explain my absence, but i will endeavour to address it in FEB when i get some down time . Hope your well and had a wonderful holiday period :)

[@fung8978]

It’s been years for me but usually it happened when I’m in public or high 😞😱😤 it’s a battle but it gets better don’t worry ...

[@jetteboy]

We miss you!

[@julyriver8851]

Nat is back! 🌻

[@rdogg9900]

hey homie, just popping over to see if there is any update on your health. hope all is well

[@IAmYou_N]

Hi Randy , Thanks for checking in. Life has been a bit full on in the last year and a bit. I will hopefully get around to an update at some point because lots has happened. hope you are keeping well :)

[@rdogg9900]

@@IAmYou_N hopefully some good things for you happened. Glad you're still around. All is well here. I'm sure we all look forward to hearing about the updates. Be well

[@rdogg9900]

Great to see a video from you. This was very informative on what is/was going on inside your head, and I also hope it helps other people. I wish you all the best and good health, stay safe

[@Dianarocky12]

I been having mine for 9 month it has gone little better it was worser in the beginning

[@Samah-lh1eq]

how are you now?

[@HeyNattyGreen]

Is one of the conditions you've been diagnosed with called epiglottis?? Where the little hook on your trachea that doesn't allow food or drinks to get into windpipe malfunctions.

[@IAmYou_N]

Hi Natrelle, so my current diagnosis is actually not specific to my oesophagus, turns out i have a hereditary genetic rare type of connective tissue disorder. so basically any organ in my body can become a target. Through extensive modified swallow tests we found that most food will just stop in the middle of the swallowing process and actually back itself up in my oesophagus and can regurgitate, all i have to do now is eat slow, avoid some textures, drink constantly and not move within 30 minutes of eating (and by that i mean remain upright in a seated or standing position.

[@HeyNattyGreen]

@@IAmYou_N I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis I don't quite think I have that though, I think the problem is my actual esophagus I also think I might just have a cold whenever I lay down mucus goes from my nose to my throat then I swallow it. When I swallow my food goes down so slowly to the point where I also have to constantly drink but it's not good to drink cold water when this happening so I'm always drinking tea now. My throat also has been getting worse now it's kinda sore, scratchy, and hurts! I hope it's just from me doing alot of coughing I've been doing, but I think me constantly spitting up the mucus the way I am affected my swallowing now everytime I swallow it's almost as though my tounge can't fully swallow it still does though. I feel so stupid as well I think in the beggining it actually was anxiety but now I think I actually turned it into a real problem being so paranoid it's also excess mucus in my throat and spit in my mouth the spit was at first very overwhelming to swallow but now I can swallow my spit but food is a whole different story I used to stuff food in my mouth like huge pieces now it feels the food can't even fit even when I'm not anxious but I don't know if I'm being subconsciously anxious about trying not to be anxious. I just hope this blows over and I can eat normally again I already went to the hospital once and they said basically I was waaaay to anxious my mother was mad about that because that was a waste of time but now I wanna go again because I feel I've actually made problem (my stupid self) but I know if I bring this to my mom that I wanna get checked again she's going to be aggravated so I'm keeping quiet and watching KZbin videos on this I'm even in a facebook group for anxiety, but again I'm sorry about your diagnosis you seem to be doing well though your video really helped me not feel so alone with my stupid anxiety problems

[@HeyNattyGreen]

@@IAmYou_N The muscus has actually went away and I've been eating!! I chew my food up really good and always have water with me but when I eat I still cough which I think makes my throat feel weird when I eat food. The bad thing is I'm eating but I don't know if it's because I'm chewing my food up to basically liquid I'm not pooping and I've been eating this is worrying me a bit but I'm not letting it take over my while mind. Hopefully I don't have acid reflux because that can lead to a lot of other things that I don't want to deal with for the time being I think I will be ok.

[@IAmYou_N]

YAY I'm so happy you've made some progress, baby steps!. and don't worry when you don;t eat properly for a while your GI tract starts to get a bit sluggish, the more you return to normal eating the more you should restart your intestines into having proper bowel movements again. just remember to drink plenty of water.

[@HeyNattyGreen]

@@IAmYou_N Yes!! I've been having bowl movements lately and went back to eating normally but, since I am still anxious to eat I drink water after every bite of food I take which makes me really full but that's minor and sometimes it still feels like I don't know how to swallow perfectly but other than that I am fine

[@billwieland8497]

Just wondering how you're doing.

[@IAmYou_N]

Hi and Thank you for asking. I haven't been meaning to Ghost everyone so long but life has gotten away from me. Medically MUCH much better. I have as many Answers to my health as i think im going to get and im happy about that. I still have like a horrific fear of choking which in terms of my eating totally under control. In terms of having panic attacks around other people eating and coughing WAY WAY not under control. Add in the fact i recently had a baby and watching them learn to eat has literally had me in tears on occasion because of the gagging reflex that comes with learning. I should really make a proper update video . But thank you again for asking :) and Happy holiday season

[@billwieland8497]

@@IAmYou_N Sounds like life. Good, not so good, exciting, stagnate, and everything in between. Thank you for responding! *HUGS* ConBABYlations!!

[@maxmeier787]

Thank you for the video! How are you today? Is there anything else that has helped you? I'm still searching what I can do and it is hard... Thank you!

[@IAmYou_N]

Hiya, Im actually a lot better! I do still have some residual anxiety that crops up every now and then in particularly triggering situations i.e. being physically sick triggers me to no end. But in the end I saw a mixture of a dietician who specialised in disordered eating and a therapist who helped me put some cognitive behaviours in place to make the whole thing seem less overwhelming and therefore less scary. it took me 3 years but i am officially back to a normal BMI so recovery is 100% possible it just might look different for different people depending on what you know you will respond to best. I wish you the best of luck in your journey XX

[@maxmeier787]

@@IAmYou_N Thank you for the answer, that sounds good and gives hope! I have also started to work with a therapist and I am highly motivated. All the best for you!

[@Samah-lh1eq]

@@maxmeier787how are you now?

[@billwieland8497]

*HUGS*

[@jamescurfman3284]

NAAAAAT!! Hi, sweetie!!!

[@IAmYou_N]

Hey hey HEY

[@kailajohnson2072]

@Nattering Did you have a lot of panic attacks because of your choking phobia?

[@IAmYou_N]

During this time yes ! and that was a surprise to me because i have been dealing with a clinically diagnosed Anxiety disorder for 25 years and had never had a panic attack. I found the sensory mindfulness to b e the most helpful to talk myself down during this time, i still do it now in stressful situations even if i don't go into full panic mode.

[@kailajohnson2072]

@@IAmYou_N I have never been actually diagnosed with choking phobia, but I feel like I just know I have it. I have had panic attacks before according to my mom.