MY EXPERIENCE WITH RACISM IN GERMANY

⤹Everything you want to know is here!⤵︎
After this video I won't be talking about racism for a very long time. In this video I talk about (2) experiences I had in Germany that shaped my view about racism in Germany. These (2) incidents made me realize that there are (2) very different types of racism that happens in Germany.
At the end of the day, I would still choose to live in Germany over any other country....
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How old are you?
older than you think
Where are you from?
Florida
Where do you live?
Munich, Germany
love yall
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[@HayleyAlexis]

Hey you guys! I would greatly appreciate it, if you haven't already, like this video and subscribe! Like I stated in my description of this video...I would still choose Germany 🇩🇪 Some people may say I am crazy but I have learned through trial and error (and traveling) that ignorance exists everywhere and you just gotta pick the place that makes you feel the most comfortable in the end 👍

[@checkthemikecrophone9050]

My friend tells me to move to Africa and avoid European countries but I told him living in USA I’m not sure if racism is worse in Germany than USA. I know racism is everywhere thanks for sharing. I feel you sis I still love germany as what it offers for citizens. Sorry you went through that. Do you feel USA is worse with racism than Germany? What city in Germany is most diverse for people of color to live in? I am Interested in Frankfurt. I tell my friend it’s racism in Africa between some middle eastern groups and Africans so I rather live where I enjoy the civil liberties and lifestyle I desire. As a brown skin person I feel like USA has another level of it but like you said it’s not reflective of everyone. Hopefully I’ll be joining you soon in moving to Germany, stay beautiful Hayley your beautiful and glad you let your experiences be known we as people in general need to call racism out when it happens 🙌🏾 I don’t want to leave USA just because of the racism I feel germany has a lifestyle I desire. Those people who gave you hard time are idiots and if change is going to happen the people in Germany that witness it need to say something to people who act ugly or else Germany’s past will continue to be associated with these type of actions.

[@LynnPinski]

That bakery crazy lady was something else. I personally looking at you if I didn't know you I would assume you are half German. I am yet to experience such craziness I think I would really go off at the disrespect and tell that rude woman about herself. Thank God I now understand about 70% of German. I am so lucky I haven't experienced anything yet maybe it has a lot to do with the fact that I always spoke in my light A1 German which I had to learn for my student visa application. Seeing that am black and not just black, African which sometimes people like to assume as the lowest in the food chain. I am just way too vocal in a respectful way even in the presence of elites if I feel myself or anyone is being unnecessarily attacked. Damn that's so crazy wth??

[@LynnPinski]

@@checkthemikecrophone9050 I am Kenyan living in Germany now for the past 34months and I find it very pleasant in Stuttgart actually🇩🇪🇩🇪

[@sakutaro3musik486]

You are so right. People all over the world find ways to discriminate other. I think they just want to feel superior and they disgust me. I'm German and half cuban and not often nur sometimes I also encounter racist people but I'm also gay and I had much more struggle with homophobic People. No matter what you do there will always be People that find something to discriminate other. If it's not something I mentioned then sexism or your social status, your hobbies or whatever makes you different to those People. The best others can do to help when they see discrimination is call the people out.

[@LarsEllerhorst]

Hi Hayley, I'm sorry for such a bad experience, unfortunately there is always a little possibility to encounter downright obnoxious people. It would be nice to breed such negative traits out of the gene pool like we do it with animals. Unfortunatey, rudeness and rascism is a weed hard to eradicate.

[@Dog.eatdog]

As an older German, I had to actively unlearn to use the word N++ger. When I was in school, that word was used in *all* of my geography and history books. Nobody in my class thought anything of it. It was just the descriptive word and it also wasn't taught to us with any racist undertone. Never was it connected to any bad "background information", like "those ppl are not as good as us, they are worth less," etc. The word was (and still is) also part of many children's books and songs. I was actually puzzled when we learned (much later) that this word shouldn't be used anymore because it hurts ppl. I honestly never even had thought of that. But I learned and I have *never* used the word again. And you know what? It's actually pretty easy to just NOT use it. People who still insist on using it are ignorant and insensitive at best, really racist at worst. Sorry you still have to encounter people like that. Sadly I'm afraid they won't go away any time soon.

[@RustyDust101]

Similar experience myself. Similar change to my vocabulary, especially in recent history. Sorry to anyone I had the absolute ignorance to tell them this word was not considered bad in German history. I wish to appologize again for my previous comments in a similar style. Racism should not be a thing anymore. Period.

[@maxonite]

Wann bist du zur Schule gegangen?

[@Dog.eatdog]

@@maxonite Die Einschulung war 1958.

[@eslteacherful]

I went to school in the 80ies/90ies and yes, Pippi Langstrumpf's dad was a "N...koenig" in the books. We associated it as a pirate in Africa, but later I learnt to hate it, hearing some German classmates saying this describing rapper etc...

[@Ph34rNoB33r]

Having been insulted only based on my place of birth, not my skin colour, the current discussion about renaming various "Mohren"-whatevers is hard to fully understand. Born in the 1980s, I met those words only in "N*gerkuss" (which to me is a word on its own, I never really thought about the literal meaning), or in fiction, for example Pippi Langstrumpf (her father became the king of an island tribe), or Jim Knopf, or the "Sarotti-Mohr" which to me implies stories from One Thousand and One Nights. At least for me, that's nothing about actual people. While I enjoyed many of those stories, I understand they were influenced by their time, and may not be appropriate now. Not sure how much the transition from "N*gerkönig" to "Südseekönig" helps, as it removes the skin colour, but still implies the island tribe to happily accept a European intruder as their new king. Switching to a more inclusive language is a long-term task, and I wonder how we can do it right (without feeding the trolls on any side).

[@elbuhlo3002]

I’m from a small town near Munich and I can tell you: those „SchickiMicki“ people from Munich are the worst. They might be rich and sometimes famous, but many of them are morons and like to look down on people because of their skin colour (like in your case) or in my case, my heritage and sexual orientation. If you find the time, make a trip to the south of Munich and I promise you, you’ll be appreciated.

[@CamaroMann]

Being rich and sometimes famous doesn't protect you from being an racist arsehole.

[@elbuhlo3002]

CamaroMann Exactly

[@peterkoller3761]

those rich kids who never worked and just spend their dad´s money... I´ve had my share of their stupidity and feeling of superiority, as well, when I was a student and did typical student´s jobs to to pay my bills where and while they partied.

[@user-pw5rp4qt1o]

aus welcher stadt bist du genau?

[@elbuhlo3002]

v Holzkirchen

[@raimondschaaf4008]

Bis zu dem Punkt, wo die Frau Sie beschimpft, hat wahrscheinlich jeder Deutsche auch erlebt, dass sich jemand vordrängelt. Insbesondere als Kind kann ich mich erinnern, dass Erwachsene sich in der Bäckerei, beim Metzger usw. vorgedrängelt haben: „ Kinder haben Zeit...“ Aber Sie sind auf ein besonders dreistes Exemplar gestoßen. Ich finde Ihre Reaktion gut. Wäre schön, wenn noch andere Ihnen beigestanden wären. Man muss solche Leute in der Situation sozial isolieren.

[@lonespokesperson7254]

Finde ich gut, Raimond schaaf, dass sie noch das "Sie" kennen, sonst werden wir alle GEDUZT. Sogar bei LIDL auf den Corona Hinweisen am Fenster. Meine Hochachtung und ... dankeschön :-)

[@jamillx]

@@lonespokesperson7254 an manchen Stellen wirkt das "Sie" einfach vollkommen deplatziert und widernatürlich. KZbin Kommentare sind so ein Ort, und das hat nichts mit höflich oder unhöflich zu tun

[@lonespokesperson7254]

@@jamillx Ich sehe das anders. Sobald eine solche Entscheidung nicht mehr die eigene ist, läuft Gefahr. Und schon ist "man" verpflichtet, das zu tun, was ALLE tun. Denken Sie (denke Du) darüber gründlich nach. Ein Unterschied. Im einen Fall wird man respektiert, im anderen wird man unmündig gemacht.

[@WienerVL]

"Kinder haben Zeit"! Naja....bei alten Leuten weiss ich nicht obs ihr letzter Einkauf ist!;-))

[@jomei36]

Natürlich passiert das bei dreisten Exemplaren mit dem Vordrängeln jedem mal. Aber sie hat doch klar beschrieben, welche Gedanken der Tochter durch den Kopf gespuckt sind. Das hat dann noch eine ganz andere Qualität, für die ich absolut null Verständnis habe. Da hilft es auch nicht die Situation zu relativieren

[@Alias_Anybody]

1. If he just used the word one time for the beer I'd have assumed it's ignorance, but that sounded like he was doubling and tripling down to get pleasure from making you feel miserable. Abusing the fact that you are basically helpless, the kind of guy who would also sexually harass a waitress during a company dinner for his own entertainment. What a prick. 2. German Karen verified. You can't escape them.

[@HayleyAlexis]

Yeah I wanted to say that in the video BUT didn't want to be that mean. He made me feel like he was a predator...or at least had predatory tendencies... Which made me feel so uncomfortable

[@beldin2987]

@@HayleyAlexis For me that also sounded like it had in the end nothing to do with racism it was more elitism and he would have done the same to a white waitress just to abuse her because he things he is "higher" "better" class and she just personell that he can treat like he wants. Maybe a guy with "blue blood" ?

[@ichbinueber18]

ignorance would be like 20yrs ago. It was called like this where I come from. It was weird but that's what it was called. I suspect they changed the name now. The people are more sensitive to this now. He was just a prick.

[@unapatton1978]

@@beldin2987 Qhile you are right in that he would have taken any cue to put another down, it still is racist as it uses public views on skin colour. It would still be sexist if he put another waitress down fod being female etc. Just be the way we look we can't choose our ‐isms.

[@beldin2987]

@@unapatton1978 Yeah of course, but i think it was firsthand sexism and he just took every tool he had but racism wasn't the main factor here, it was just another "tool" of degrading this special person. If it was a fat white girl he would use fat-shaming instead or whatever

[@NondoPondo]

I had just started a new job in Houston Texas. The general manager took everyone out to a big box steakhouse. We had one African-American employee with us, mostly white supervisors, me and one other Latino. Then a few of the white supervisors started making African-American jokes. Everybody laughed except for the African-American guy and me. It was quite noticeable to the entire group that I was sitting there very stoic. The general manager felt a need to address me. Hey question why I was not laughing. I told him because if Scott, the Africa American fellow didn’t find it funny I don’t find it funny. I pissed a lot of people off at the job. At that point in my life I was actually taking a bus to work because I didn’t have enough money to afford a car. Scott offered me a ride home one day and took me by his home where he grew up in the second Ward of Houston. It was an astonishingly high crime area where lots of drugs were being sold and gangs were hanging out. I told him that when I was a little boy I lived in the inner city on the south side of Chicago in a very similar place. It was like I didn’t just make a friend I found a brother, literally from another mother. We were great friends from that point forward. I never regret speaking out and taking a separate stance ever.

[@lele199926725]

I guess you had your first encounter with a German Karen at the Bakery 😂

[@KriegerT]

We call them Annette here :D

[@HayleyAlexis]

Anette/Karen... I honestly could NOT believe what happened.. It is sortuve hilarious now... looking back but it was shocking when it first happened. Ole crazy b••ch

[@svengaefgen5909]

More like a German AFD Eva.

[@HayleyAlexis]

LMAO

[@B.A.B.G.]

@@HayleyAlexis what too scared to fully spell bitch? Is that a problem? Beside the fact that bitch don't necessarily mean slut no more, is there a legitimate reason you didn't enunciate the word? I'm genuinely curious or should I say want to understand, cause you didn't flinch when you were cussing in German the video.

[@Boogeyman-wh1fr]

i have lived in the united states and i currently live in germany. i am not turkish, muslim, arab or american. germans are more racist than americans! They have a skill to hide their feelings towards foreigners, because they don't want to be labeled as nazis for their history! they seem to be kind, friendly and tolerant with foreigners, but many of them speak badly behind their backs, attack them in a hidden or subtle way and put them at a disadvantage at work, school, the authorities, etc. those who are genuinely kind when you live with them, sooner or later wake up the nazi in them. i have had many bad experiences in different places here, many of them subtle, but very unpleasant and i have also seen many injustices against foreigners. germans delude themselves into believing that they are not so racist, when they obviously are and they sugarcoat racism in germany. racist things that are normal for them, for others are shocking! i don't want to generalize, because there are also good people among the Germans, but don't be naive, GERMANS ARE RACIST!!!

[@kittymama9800]

Well said

[@theycallmet435]

Shoutout to that amazing bakery lady who stuck up for you!

[@HayleyAlexis]

I wish... I knew her name. I wish I became friends with her BUT nope :(

[@LaguMega]

@@HayleyAlexis Hoffentlich geht einer der dieses YT-Video gesehen hat dort in die Bäckerei und erzählt von diesem Video und der Verkäuferin mit Haltung und Anstand. Und vielleicht meldet sich diese Verkäuferin ja. Ich hoffe es für dich.

[@JL-xd4cn]

@@HayleyAlexis send me your email address Hayley I have an interesting insight on a discrimination case

[@musicissmylife0511]

The N word is also in germany a bad word(i'm german and life here and never use the word...)...just wanted to point that out...i'm sorry that all that happens... I think its sad that no matter where someone is in the world there is always rassism which is so sad...

[@edsnotgod]

Even the most kind, loving version and use of the "N" word - to describe that yummy chocolate-covered marshmallow with biscuit base - is now un PC, and Germans love to go about anything with a German thoroughness, so its really bad to say it anymore.

[@keinedaten1640]

If you never used the N-word as a normal not offensive word, you are probably younger than 50 and maybe even younger than 40 (it usually takes some time for a word to change the meaning like that....from non-offensive to offensive...in whole society).

[@sns4748]

How come it wasn't a bad word 20 years ago?

[@Perry1989]

Your first incidence is what I have also experienced in Germany. I have met quite a number of schiki-micki people and somehow their view of other races are very narrow. What surprised me is that they were young Germans, about 24 years' old. I was like, "we are living in the 21st century! and was left wondering, " in which caves are they living in?" But, luckily, I didn't need to deal with them for a long time.

[@mortusanteportas86]

The drink is called a „Diesel“ in other parts of the country. I have never come across people calling it that. Nevertheless that guy was just being an asshole.

[@HayleyAlexis]

I like to think that men that speak like that- havent had sex in a very long time.... I have come across diesel before. It is pretty common. Supposedly N* was common in Bayern and was outlawed or was in the talks of becoming outlawed due to being so offensive. So maybe a lot of older folks that used it continuously taught their children to say the same thing.

[@Baschdi382]

@@HayleyAlexis Ich wohne 50km von der bayerisch-württembergischen Grenze entfernt und höre das zum ersten mal. ô_O Das ist definitiv eine alte bayerische Bezeichnung für das Getränk. Bei uns heißt es schlicht und einfach Colaweizen. :D Ich war in meiner Schulzeit die schon einige Jahre zurück liegt in Bonn (damals war Bonn noch die Landeshauptstadt) und hatte dort ein Colaweizen bestellt. Die wussten dort nicht was es ist und haben mir eine Cola UND ein Weizen hin gestellt. :D Ich hoffe nur das diese Erfahrungen dich nicht in deiner Einstellung zu Deutschland zu sehr negativ beeinflusst haben. Der Typ war und ist einfach ein A**hole.

[@schwarzeseele5825]

@@HayleyAlexis did he say the N* with "i" or with "e"? If he used "e" he was probably just darn stupid ;)))

[@raistraw8629]

Nein, ein Diesel ist Cola mit Bier, Cola mit Weißbier ist einfach ein Colaweizen.

[@DrDotMadDoc]

Hängt von der Region ab... hier: Bier (Pils) + Cola = Drecksack (Bag of Dirt) Bier (Pils) + Zitronenlimo = Radler Bier (Pils) + Orangenlimo = Alster Bier (Pils) + Malzbier = Gespritztes ? + Weizenbier = ?weizen: Colaweizen, Bananenweizen,... Cola + Limo = Diesel ... hat schon für viel Verwirrung gesorgt bei Touristen :P -- Muss aber zugeben, der "Negerkuss" (Schokokuss) ist im Sprachgebrauch noch ziemlich verbreitet.

[@joshheinink]

Don't be racist ok🙂

[@HayleyAlexis]

Best answer

[@szeddezs]

Yeah but how else can I feel superior to people without working on my own shortcomings? :( /sarcasm, just to clarify

[@lorenzsabbaer7725]

also dont dictate speech to other ppl when something isnt racist and you just feel offended cause u cant understand where the word is coming from!

[@katchu4225]

@@lorenzsabbaer7725 if you hurt people with the words you use it is on YOU to reflect your behaviour. Language matters - not just where a word comes from but also the history how it was used and what for and how it's impact is now. Language evolves, you don't speak how people spoke 200 years ago and there are many reasons why. And you don't get to decide how someone should feel about your ignorance. A decent human being tries to not offend anyone and think about ways to minimise the hurtful language instead of just double down because they think they are in the right. Think about swastikas and their history. They should be fine because before the war they were a normal thing? No. Words and symbols are not just what they were when they started out - over time words grow with meaning and baggage. If you feel justified in being an asshole, then say so and don't blame others for noticing that you suck.

[@Sus-bw8lv]

poop skin

[@kittymama9800]

You're not alone, girl. I even experienced one in a clinic, where the doctor shouldnt have acted that way

[@georginazamora7157]

I moved to Germany about nine months ago and have definitely experienced uncomfortable conversations about my skin and ethnicity. I am Salvadorian-American, with pretty dark brown skin, and some Germans feel the need to always comment on how brown I am. "How are you so Brown?", "Wow you are so Brown!", "You must get really dark in the summer", which isn't too bad but I am just not used to it. I grew up in Los Angeles which is a melting pot of a city. No one ever really commented on my skin tone or asked me how I got so dark back in LA. I know most of them aren't trying to be rude but it's just uncomfortable some times lol.

[@yournemesis192]

You probably live in a small town or village but I agree that especially older Germans can be really racist. In Hamburg or Berlin no one would ask these questions though

[@reinhard8053]

I don't think I would have such thoughts and even if, I would never say anything. But apart from visiting foreign countries you can live your life practically without contact to non white people or at least to black people. I went to school and studied in Austria and I never had a talk or something like that with a black person. Not that I avoid it. It's just that there are not that much black people here and maybe my hobbies and job just don't bring such contacts. That may be different if I were e.g. in the music business. And for people in smaller towns that might be even more the case. Of course that's quite different in the US especially in larger cities. Around here you will have much more contact to the cultures east from us like Croatia, Slovenia, Poland, Turkey...

[@karenbaumgartel6077]

As a white Canadian living in Germany for the last 20 years, I find it disgusting that that guy said that word, and went on to keep saying it, trying to bait you! A shame you had to go through such a negative experience, and shame on the employer for not telling him to stop it!

[@leaandromulller3611]

Most of german people is racist, no doubt.

[@waltersteerunde4444]

This word had a history of bullying just in the Anglo-Saxon areas, not in German (where discrimination of "banned word" happened anyway, but here it was not tied to this word). When people from Anglo-Saxon countries advocate, that "banned word" should not be used in German, it's the same ridiculous behaviour as if Europeans try to call Indians racists for using the Swastica (which has a completely different symbol-history in the Indian culture), just by throwing our own feelings tied to this symbols over other cultures. With German and "banned word" it's exactly the same. And I get really angry, when Anglo-Saxons can't imagine that "banned word" has a completely different history of usage in the German language. I understand "Mittelhochdeutsch" and read the sources in the original. I really get angry that people with absolutely no idea about our language's history discuss this word in a manner as if they would be the guards of the one and only truth about "banned word". It's pure stupidity and linguistic ignorance if people who are just familiar with the anglo-saxon history of "banned word" judge about the German usage of this word in our language. And it's even more unjust that facebook and youtube tend to delete comments that contain "banned word" even in quotation-marks and used in a linguistic manner so that a serious discussion about the word becomes hindered.

[@chaosjoerg9811]

Lets be real. She's a server. She doesn't understand the meaning of the word in the language she uses. And she doesn't know the names of the drinks the customers ask for.

[@mitrasinchan]

@@waltersteerunde4444 You missed the point. The issue was not just about using the word once innocently, but keeping on talking about it without bothering to notice that she is uncomfortable, and making it a matter of a joke. That is what makes me feel the guy was racist or at least an ignorant, clueless fool. Also she noted his overall attitude about continuously highlighting her ethnic heritage on any pretext.

[@ronin47-ThorstenFrank]

Boah, fremdschämen intensifies. Even if it´s only zero point zero X percent - it shouldn´t happen.

[@Diotallevi73]

Exakt 👍

[@HayleyAlexis]

That is true but it does. People are still being sold as slaves due to the color of their skin, people are getting attacked due to religious preferences, women are getting beaten due to being born with certain genitalia, and the list goes on. I have learned that the majority of the world is good, kind, and curious.

[@ronin47-ThorstenFrank]

@@HayleyAlexis We don´t live in a perfect world. But we could, at least, strive for one. Anyway, I´ve got to concur with your last sentence - the majority is different!

[@ToniosPlaylist]

Sure this shouldn't happen, but guess what, it will ever happen, it's just how humans are. Pretty sad.

[@cmdrandreyuenari4150]

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, Haley!

[@robertzander9723]

Racism is still a huge problem in our society, it's not only the people that say that racism crap, it's also the people that staying around and let that happened. There is a lot to do. One day we took a guest out of our hotel, who was very offensive and mean the a colleague of mine, she was a trainee and he was very rude and said stupid things to her. We forced him to go out and find another hotel and we told him if would write something wrong on a social media platform, he is getting a letter from our Lawyer. We don't tolerate any kind of racism and I don't make any kind of service to people with that attitude and also my team members. The arkward thing is that the most racism things happen in areas with no or very less contact to foreign people.

[@SchmulKrieger]

You are talking BS!

[@robertzander9723]

@Alles Gut 😒😴😴

[@nene5162]

Maybe this is a Bayern thing but me, living and growing up in Berlin as a polish immigrant child NEVER heard of the name for this beermix. This is so crazy, how can this be still socially acceptable that some people call this beermix n***r it makes me angry 😡😡

[@HayleyAlexis]

I think it is "verboten" now in Bayern.... Supposedly. So that is good

[@LeilaDRalph]

I also have never heard of that name before but cola-beer actually has a lot of names all throughout germany. Diesel, Schmutz, Schmutziges, Schweinebier are a few that I got to know. Living in the south right now I learned that they mix their Weizen with Cola and it is way more common than mixing the beer. Coming from NRW I have never before heard of mixing Weizen with Cola. Drinking culture really differs around germany.

[@elbuhlo3002]

It’s not traditionally Bavarian at all. We don’t mix white beer (Weißbier), it’s like our cardinal rule. Just a made up racist drink.

[@LeilaDRalph]

@@elbuhlo3002 Weißbier wird hier bei uns im Grunde so gut wie gar nicht getrunken. Alle Bier-Mixe sind deswegen immer mit Pils. Bevor ich nach Süddeutschland gezogen bin, wusste ich noch nichtmal, dass Weißbier, Pils und Weizen 3 Kategorien sind, weil ich nie wusste, was Weißbier überhaupt ist.

[@D0MiN0ChAn]

@@LeilaDRalph Yeah, I was about to say the same. The only 'different' instance I know of mixing cola & beer is Krefelder, where it's a mixture of Altbier & Cola. But wow. Bavaria's at it once again, it seems 😬

[@azizoid]

In Serbia i was invited to a birthday party, and there was one man they were calling him Colonel. Apparently he was a Colonel during the Bosnian war. and he was telling jokes how they were killing muslims... and I am muslim.

[@Nynke_K]

That is horrible.

[@livics610]

O.m.g. ...

[@sinjaja5836]

Sorry to hear that. Noone should boast about killing anyway. Even less to upset you.

[@Exodon2020]

"Looks like they overlooked someone for sending to the Hague..."

[@quarentinedlove2903]

How nice 😳

[@mrs.graves7993]

Had tears in my eyes girl... I know exactly how u felt in those situations... I'm mixed myself... half black & half white... been through this many times before and will experience it more often ... and it never gets easier for me.... it always will hurt me... although I'm speaking up for myself.... so sorry u have to go through such crap... keep your head up Hayley 😘

[@MigGa-yu5xv]

I can totally empathize and don't even know where to begin. I haven't been to Germany in a couple of years now and you sharing your experiences here makes me think everything there has just gotten worse. I've had a couple of blood boiling episodes but nothing like this and I'm sorry this happened to you.

[@karmiskowiec]

I come from a village where the German regular army locked over 30 people in a wooden building and burned them. Pregnant women, children, anyone who was close. These soldiers later returned home to their families, some of them are probably still alive. their grandchildren are 40-50 today. What ideas could these people have passed on to their grandchildren? Millions of soldiers with such experiences returned to Germany.

[@mimiwallen]

Ppl are so outrageously bold with their prejudice behavior. But it’s more telling about their character than anything to do with who they’re trying to offend.

[@linamowasi3849]

Wrong. They are just brazen racists.

[@EricMustardman]

Hayley, you have that rare ability to tell sad stories in a way that one can find at least a few slightly funny aspects in your tales. I admire you for that and for your patience. In some of the "racist experience" situations that you've been in, I'd probably have blown a fuse and come down on those people like a ton of bricks.

[@Alaskan-Armadillo]

Honestly the second situation you faced is just wild, I have experienced racism before and have even had people lash out at me in public but I find that what is most shocking is when someone is being hostile in front of their parents since it just shows me that they have no shame even if their parents are watching.

[@DrMischa40]

Bakery ... I am from Germany. And I from my view I cannot imagine that people can be like that. It's a shame. I don't want to apologize for people i don't know but I can assure you that ME and people who are with me will not behave like that. Thanks for sharing that !! Keep on posting - I like you!

[@HayleyAlexis]

I don't expect people- Especially German people to apologize to me. It is no ones fault BUT that lady/man individually. They have to live with being themselves...

[@bongsilla8109]

@@HayleyAlexis Yeah and thats the reason why you shit on every single German there is.

[@yohighness]

While attending an international secondary school in Hong Kong, my girlfriend was half-German, half-Korean. She used to tell me about the racial abuse she endured (and still did at the age of 17) while growing up in Germany. Even in our school, I noticed that she didn't get along with the other German students. That totally put me off from visiting Germany. I'm not one to tolerate bullshit and backwardness.

[@MomoPersikka]

but maybe it was also because of her personality and attitude towards them? I'm sure she also experienced racism I think there isn't a country were you don't experience it if you are foreign looking. In some countries (and certain areas of countries) it is worse than others also depending on your ethnicity but I wouldn't base my opinion about a country on the experience of one person. Especially international students are usually very open minded and love to meet new people from different countries.

[@SonjaHamburg]

So the story of 1 teenager made you being predjudices of and disliking a whole nation? THAT is racism my dear! 😏

[@SonjaHamburg]

That is like saying "this one person told me black people are all criminals and therefore i decided stay away from black people". That's the level of your comment !

[@Goreus]

The bigger problem here in Germany than open faced racism like in some situations/areas in the US is the kind of just below the surface racism you're describing. One of the instances it comes to the surface is, when a Bavarian finds it funny/provocative/whatever to tell you what they used to call Weißbier and Coke. (there's also a derogatory term for Weißbier and lemon/lime soda).

[@auraluna7679]

Ein Russ

[@burninghard]

Weiß jetzt nicht genau was an einem Russen "deragatory" sein soll. Im Übrigen wurde der Begriff "neger" die meiste Zeit als rein deskriptiv in Deutschland benutzt. Der fremdenfeindliche Kontext kommt eher aus dem ähnlichen, abwertenden Begriff aus den USA (N*gger). "Negro" wurde auch in den USA als rein deskriptiv benutzt bis weit in die 60er Jahre. Soll jetzt nicht bedeuten, dass, wenn sich Menschen durch dieses eigentlich eher deskriptive Wort im modernen Kontext angegriffen fühlt, es weiter benutzen sollte oder es auch weiterhin eine neutrale Färbung hat. Aber auch kann man diesem Wort nicht einfach im Nachhinein historisch gesehen eine Bedeutung zuweisen, die es so nicht hatte. Gerade bei älteren Mitmenschen ist dieser Bedeutungswandel einfach noch nicht angekommen. Da hat Derjenige, der einen Neger bestellt nicht zwingend immer eine schwelende rassistische Grundeinstellung.

[@sns4748]

@@burninghard genauso ist es, ich hasse diese amerikanisierung in der uns einfach alles 1:1 aus Amerika übergestülpt

[@christiang5209]

@@burninghard Wenn du das deskriptiv meinst, war das eine beschreibung die die beschriebene nahe Tieren gebracht hat. In dem 50er wurde in dem Schulen diskutiert ob die N*kinder neben weißen sitzen dürfen, die eltern von Mulatten (noch so ein respektvoller beschreibener begriff) wurden Negerflittchen genannt verprügelt und deren Haare geschoren. Die Kinder haben nicht weniger abbekommen.

[@Alex-vq9vj]

@@burninghard jemand Ende 30/Anfang 40 der das Getränk mit *dem* Namen ordert, und das auch noch bei einer Afroamerikanerin, weiß genau was er tut! Die Tatsache, das er sein "Recht" das Wort zu verwenden danach noch mit einem Vortrag lang und breit rechtfertigen wollte, nicht nur vor Hayley sondern vor den anderen peinlich berührten Gästen, spricht für einen absichtlichen Tabubruch. Ob aus rassistischen Beweggründen oder aus genereller Lust jemanden öffentlich zu demütigen sei dahingestellt.

[@oldb-1kenobi]

I've lived in Germany for a decade now and work on the economy in an ordinary job around Germans, Russians, Turks and all other eastern Europeans and racism here is real. It's quite and not so in your face as in the US and weather it's some Germans prejudiced against black people or the Russians prejudiced against Americans, or everyone disliking the Germans, it's real. Also, what we are taught as "good manners" in the US, I have found, is a foreign concept to most Germans...they are taught from early on that it's a free-for-all when shopping at a bakery, boarding a train or any where else that a purchase checkout lane is required. It's not that they are on purpose being rude, it's just there culture and that's a hard thing to get used to. As an American, after you live here so long you start to lose some of the politeness we are taught in the US and on several occasions, I have forgot myself and held a door for someone only to have 5 people rush across the room and try to jam through it at the same time. It is what it is. My wife is German, we lived in the US for many years before settling in Germany and the politeness is something she misses the most.

[@Delkb89]

Thank you for the video. I've been planning my move to Germany for awhile, and having only spent a few months there I appreciate this insight about your experience. That said, I'm incredibly sorry these experiences have happened to you. I find that the little racist micro agressions are more common but I hope these things can continue to change for BIPOC in the future. Sending you love.

[@bongsilla8109]

Please don't take this person too serious. I am German, part polish, I have black friends. I mean really really black friends from Namibia for example. They love it over here. The only persons that may confront you with racism are some old people(guess they just don't know better) and maybe some far right idiots. The population in generell isn't racist and gives a damn about where you from or how you look. Just listen to her, she is complaining about a piece of bakery. She is more like the people she is complaining about then she may think.

[@Delkb89]

@@bongsilla8109 I am not going to discount their experience since I wasn’t in her shoes- I think doing that can perpetuate racism but I appreciate you mentioning being that you’re German. I have a few German- in Germany friends and they are certainly not racist but it makes sense that the racism may come from older populations.

[@bongsilla8109]

@@Delkb89 You can find racists everywhere. Hayley for example is one. She is looking down on Germans. Maybe thats one reason she had to go through certain experiences. If you come over here and expect everyone to prepare a red carpet for you only because you are american, you are wrong. You will be treated well, if you treat others well. If you act like an idiot, you will be treated like one.

[@bongsilla8109]

@@Delkb89 What some people use to forget is that we have a really diverse country. Germany is even more diverse them the USA. So there are loads of different background, mentalities and cultural aspects over here. That means that not every mean person you meat here has to be a "native German". That means, you can meat idiots from everywhere around world over here. They don't have to be "native german idiots". The big part of people living in Germany is totally accepting each other no matter where you come from. It's easy to blame every shit you get on your skin colour or some different heritage. Some people are just acting like douchebags and maybe deserve all the shit that they get.

[@Delkb89]

@@bongsilla8109 well, I’ve lived in SW Germany and am black, so I’ve had my own experience and understand the ways of various cultures etc (not the intricacies all the time of course) but! I am not finding it productive to bash the creator of the video- she was literally just explaining her experience and if you don’t like it I don’t see how it’s helpful to comment if one isn’t going to attempt to be empathetic about the experience they’re sharing. Anyways, leaving it at that.

[@van03de]

My Japanese wife had some strange experiences in Germany. Some people, adults and even small children, said "ching-chang-chong" to her. To my understanding it is not even Chinese. Does anybody know what this means? Is it a racist expression or just the worthless and ignorant try to speak a few "Asian" words? Who teaches this nonsense to small children and why? P.S. If anybody thinks saying ching-chang-chong to Asians is funny please note: This is NOT funny.

[@derradfahrer5029]

In this context, I'd say it's racism or a really really bad attempt at humor on the base of your wifes appeareance. "ching-chang-chong" are meaningless sounds, trying to emulate what chinese would sound like. Similar to "Tik-Tok" for a clock, or "gong" for a large bell. "ching chang chong" ls also used for the game "rock paper sissors" and is sung befor revealing the choise. Also some asian restaurants are named "ching chang chong"

[@EdgardoPlasencia]

Es ist sehr dumm, kindisch.

[@nessilian]

Well, unfortunately, it is the beginning of a respectless rhyme: Ching Chang Chung, Chinesen sind nicht dumm, Chinesen in die Ecke schei**en, FLiegen um die Sch***e kreisen. Which makes fun of Chinese in a very,very derogative way. Young kids, might not know the whole rhyme, but they also use the first few words to mimic the language. I`d be upset, if my 8 yr old would say that

[@van03de]

@@nessilian OMG. Never heard of that one. Thanks for explaining.

[@armiiiist]

Originally it cames from the thought that These Silben (part of words - dont know the English word for) are All what chinese language is about. Its stupid...

[@Taostbrotesserin]

I've lived in the US for a year and I've actually experienced people being rude to me for being German... Doesn't compare to what minority groups go through each day, I'm aware of that, but it still pissed me off. I'm not responsible for my history, just for what I make of it

[@aliciasheerin231]

I'm sorry that happened to you! :(

[@caligo7918]

Ignorance in Germany is a choice. Lacking education is a choice. My first impulse is always to teach, but that does not always work and i tend to get frustrated with the wilfully ignorant people. I think that the more people come in contact with regular immigrants, the less racist they get. So cultural exchange is extremely important, to deminish racism.

[@janettecardenas681]

Wow Hayley, I am so glad you made a video about this! I was wondering what other people’s experiences have been like in Germany, especially people of color. When I visited, I had a very positive experience, and German people were generally polite and helpful despite me not knowing German very well. However, one of my friends had lived in Germany for 5 years and told me she had very negative experiences. I was horrified and shocked when she told me that people in Germany would be physically and verbally attack her. At one time, they would even throw glass bottles at her and call her all kinds of names. She also said that Germany is extremely racist and you will most likely be discriminated if you look different or cannot speak the language. I guess I’m really conflicted because I didn’t have the same experience, and I’ve always thought that Germans were nice, and I have several friends there. I’m even trying to learn German because I admire the culture and language. I don’t like to generalize, since I know not all Germans are bad, but it really made think of Germany in a different way...

[@missgolgistain5801]

Idiots exist everywhere. Though some parts of Germany a certainly worse then others. Places with a lower percentage of foreigners are apparently bad in this regard. Maybe it is the lack of experience?

[@viennagirl9335]

You are such a beautiful person, both inside and out 🌺🌻❤❤❤

[@eaurouge27]

Please. I wish you would translate or use subtitles when you speak German for those of us who don't speak it. I would to know what the lady said in the bakery.

[@sarahmayer8539]

I know that bakery!!! Whenever I bought an Amerikaner, I had to eat it right away cause the sugar frosting always stuck to the paper, even with a plastic cover. It's pretty neat!

[@Crysticia]

Ich bin in NRW aufgewachsen und bis ich mit meinem Partner seine Familie in Bayern besucht habe, habe ich nicht gewusst, dass man 'Neger' als Getränkebezeichnung benutzt. Ich fühle mich jedes Mal unwohl, wenn er das Wort beim Getränkebestellen(in Bayern) benutzt, aber für ihn ist das normal. Wenn ich ihn darauf hinweise, dass ich das Wort unangemessen finde, sagt er "Ich habe keinerlei rassischtischen Hintergedanken, wenn ich dieses Getränk bestelle, also warum wird es mir so ausgelegt?" Damit hat er zwar Recht, denn man unterstellt ihm damit eine Denkweise, die er nicht hat, verstehe aber genauso Leute, die sagen find ich nicht oke. Auf der anderen Seite bin ich selbst mit dem Begriff 'Negerkuss' aufgewachsen und habe (als Kind) nicht verstanden warum dieser Name, für die Süßigkeit die ich so gern mag, beleidigend ist und nicht mehr benutzt werden darf. Heute benutze ich den Markennamen Dickmann's oder Dickmänner, wenn ich über Schaumküsse spreche. An dem Beispiel sieht man aber gut, dass wenn man Wörter aus der eigenen Kindheit kennt und diese nicht mit dem negativen Kontext benutzt werden, den das Wort eigentlich hat, dann speichert man es auch mit diesem nicht-beleidigend-gemeinten Kontext ab und empfindet es als normal/benutzt es in der Situation ohne beleidigende Hintergedanken. Ich finde es trotzdem gut, wenn solche Begriffe geändert werden, in etwas was dem Zeitgeist entspricht, kann aber verstehen, wenn Leute sagen, ich meine es nicht böse, also leg es mir nicht so aus. So wie du den Mann aus deiner Erzählung beschreibst wäre der wahrscheinlich jedem Unangenehm gewesen, egal welche Hautfarbe man selbst hat. Das hört sich insgesamt nach einem unsympatischen Zeitgenosse an. Und die Frau bei der Bäckerei genauso.

[@AchsoTochter]

I hope you have completed the Afrozensus which will ultimately compile Black and brown people’s experiences for a better future in Germany. I hope that if many of us speak to some of these similar situations there will be more awareness and changes in sensitivity throughout society, culture, academia, the medical community and government here in Germany.

[@MyvIsLove2]

hayley im so sorry this happened to you! in german and i have yet to find someone in my family or friends who isnt racist... its so bad. i mean i live in the countryside but still, its not okay. even before lots of immigrants came here, germans were so hateful towards our turkish people. like just be nice to ppl??? how hard can that be

[@SchlomoGross]

Some 40 years ago when I started as a student on the university, I had two friends: Rezene fom Eritrea and Rado from Poland. As I dont like people sitting behind me, and the other guys seemd to feel similar, we took place in the last row of the "Hörsaal". The semester started, a new prof came into the room, had a look over the students and said with a smile in his face: "Aha, die Exoten sitzen in der letzten Reihe." ("The exots sit in the last line". We looked at each other: "Did he meen us?" But more common seems to be the undercover antisemitism. Had lots of experiances...

[@Holozon]

omg 40 years ago, old proffessor and schlomo as name... not a good combination i assume you got a lot of stories to tell.

[@alimoradi8454]

@@Holozon Of course you stinky Nazi going to deny what he is saying 🤣

[@armadspengler2717]

12:20 Bäckereifachverkäuferin of the year...

[@HayleyAlexis]

She was seriously the best.. I wish I had the same courage in 2015 that I have now... Because I would have asked her to get a drink with me

[@huawafabe]

I'm not from Munich, but I was in Munich once and you walked past me and I immediately recognised you, but I was too shy to say 'Hello' :( So I'm saying it here: Hello Hayley! :)

[@huawafabe]

@@mauricewinston2578?

[@huawafabe]

@@mauricewinston2578 I'm not lying but if you don't believe it, I don't care.

[@mokkamalia8290]

cringe

[@sushipancake6559]

I experience more racism in Europe than when I lived in U.S. I've lived in 5 countries for schools and stuff. Each country has pros and cons but in Europe, it is quite clear to me that I was judged by people because of the way I am and race is in Europe. But I learned to stay strong and try not to let me down because there are many people who go through more obstacles than I did. Hayley, you always bring up topics I always thought about. Thank you for sharing

[@quarentinedlove2903]

I definitely agree I’m from Canada and in Europe now no one ever said anything about my kids in Canada here ppl always look at my mixed kids like aliens

[@Dacre1000]

@@quarentinedlove2903 Europe is a continent, you pair of morons.

[@FabiWe91]

I too was shocked about the nickname for this drink when I moved to Bavaria. Bavarians don't seem to understand just how strange and bad it is to call it that way.

[@HayleyAlexis]

Yeah I have still heard people call it that before and just roll my eyes in annoyance. Older people usually say it so I sometimes let them have a pass for their ignorance.

[@spacenudel]

I come from NRW, so I never heard about how the drink is called in Bavarian. But I'm so shocked about it. I mean everyone should know by now that it's such a rude and offensive term. So ignorant, as well. Like wtf. And that woman at the bakery.. no words 😤 education.. sorry, not found 🤬

[@swanpride]

@@spacenudel I am from NRW too, and I am still trying to figure out what exactly the name of the drink is.

[@Alias_Anybody]

@@HayleyAlexis It's usually called "Diesel" in Austria. Which is surprisingly clever as it references both the colour and the fact that it's calorie heavy and "refills your tank". 😆 Way better than a potential slur.

[@SvenjaKuckla]

I also couldn't fanthom that this could be used for a drink! In Cologne it's at worst a "Drecksack" and most often just a "Colabier". Why should one call it a racial slur?! It makes no sense.

[@ninobk196]

I go to Germany (Berlin and Munich) around every 2 months for work. I'm American and black. Over the last 2 years, I feel Germans are becoming more xenophobic against Americans. I actually went to a wine bar in Berlin. Met an American friend who was in town as well coincidentally. We are both black too. The table next us literally picked a whole issue with us once they heard our American english. They were 3 guys. Literally naming a million and one things that are wrong with the USA and Americans, and Trump this and Trump that. I was shocked! We were both calm and handled the situation with class, but then they just got on our last nerve. Also, they felt they knew everything about the US I guess based on their "media" knowledge?? They completely ruined our time there. The waiter saw what was taking place and never did anything, which I think was wrong because we were literally being harassed in their restaurant. If I were a waiter, at the very least I would have told the manager, to come handle it. That's how I would see this playing out in the USA. Something similar happened to me in Munich, also on a work trip. The people we was dealing with I guess had never seen a black person in equal professional standing as them, and there were two of us in that meeting so it was a lot to take in for them. This was really an awful and uncomfortable experience. At the end, they didn't get our business because I can't imagine having to deal with these guys or company, I stay in the same hotels when I go, because they know me and welcome me. But I can tell you many hotel stories of discrimination I've had in Germany, when you run into guests at the lobby and they thought I was a worker there rather than a guest. Berlin and Munich were by far my favorite cities to travel to and I love Germany and Europe in general. I love the European lifestyle , but I do think there is a level of intolerance that is creeping in and the Right is alive and active. This is not just in Germany of course but a lot of European countries. As I mentioned, I travel to European cities quite often, especially major cities where we have offices (London, Madrid, Paris, Berlin, Munich, Rome, Zurich, etc.) and as a black professional at a Senior level ( I only say this in this context), the micro aggressions are significantly worse and by a long shot, compared to anything I have experienced in the USA. I'm pushing 50yrs old and have worked in multinationals for over 20 years, and it's really not much better in 2020 especially in a professional setting. I actually like less and less going to Europe for work (in general) as time passes. I use to love it, but now it's like...."ugh...again?? can't someone else go instead..."

[@aldrickbanks3455]

After this, really Googled the n drink, and there is really a such discussion on some language forum back in 2006. Speechless. Anyway, a strong and beautiful lady you are.

[@lilyghassemzadeh]

In a foreign country you FINALLY grasp the significance of having a voice! It's something you may not have realized in your own country. I am from Iran living in Japan. It's exactly the same here, knowing even a basic level of Japanese goes a long way. I guess they think you are showing off when you speak English. Besides, having learned their language shows that you have a sort of respect and care for them and their country.

[@grutzkopf6804]

Man das tut sogar mir leid das es immer noch solchen menschen gibt. Deine Erzählung treibt mir sogar Tränen in die Augen. Aber gut zu wissen das "wir sind mehr" nicht nur ein Spruch ist.

[@Wccc249]

I'm so happy I found this channel - I've honestly had no interests whatsoever in Germany before this, and you've sparked it in me. Thanks!

[@TheOtherArea]

Really, because of this Video? Thats some sort of racism against germans to compare it. From what i heard, Haley (and others) had much more positive Experiences and she never said, that Germany is a racist Country

[@Wccc249]

@@TheOtherArea no, not because of this video - just a general comment to the channel. Just so happens to be this video where I'm not too lazy to comment lol

[@TheOtherArea]

@@Wccc249 Oh, i am sorry I missunderstood "sparked" Thought it was something negative... Shame on my bad english 🙈

[@Wccc249]

@@TheOtherArea no worries, it's one of those words that can be confusing. Also, your english isn't bad at all! 😁

[@Vesalius4us]

Thank you for sharing your experience In his Autobiography "Born a Crime" Trevor Noah provides a similar reflection on language, "the quickest way to bridge the race gap was through language" , (Born a Crime p. 54 Ch ."Chameleon" he speaks several languages English, Xhosa, Zulu, Afrikaans...). Your presentation and videogaphy skills are excellent and sincere! Please continue to tell your story, (and I hope you write a book as well!) - Peace!

[@ikw6262]

I heard "that´s it" and think to myself, this can´t be all. After watching most of your work, must say you have soo much to say and you are so able to chose the right words that anybody would (and should) listen to you. You´re bringing it to the point without offending your listeners but your messages are very clear. Sometimes I wonder how you still can be that charming and relaxed person after all of those experiences. Defenitely noone can put you in that "frustratet-bitchy-box", you are well reflected and very well articulated. Best requirements for writing a book, think about. Strong woman I would say. Please feel free to continue.

[@HayleyAlexis]

Oh don't let my videos fool you. I have a short fuse/temper. I can be really RUDE/MEAN but I try my best to live a well-rounded life where I am equal/honest to as many people as I can possibly be BUT sometimes people really get on my nerves.

[@ikw6262]

@@HayleyAlexis Same with all of us I guess, just normal. BUT you´ll defenitely know how to speak to others/us. Please accept this as a compliment. PS: we don´t know each other personally so our image is based on what we see and hear. And from what I can see, allmost everything is fine with you. Think most of us will have a darker side which doesn´t matter as long as we don´t have to deal with in reality.

[@ingokollar3466]

So sorry that you had go through this... Your first story reminded me of something I experienced when I was in the US for a couple of months during my PhD. I was at a barbecue (seems to be the place where things can turn ugly...), and someone noticed I am from Germany. Then he started saying things like "the US Army should have used atomic bombs during WWII to wipe Germany out" etc. - it felt really awkward and aggressive towards me, especially since I myself am absolutely anti-Nazi and am very embarassed by German Nazi history and Neo-Nazi presence today. Yet, I remember that - obviously similar to you with the Schickimicki guy - I was totally incapable of reacting to this. Just left me stunned.

[@sarahbrown3549]

A German girl was so rude to me for no reason and I was not even in Germany - is their personality to attack I think. Is their history!

[@dannyben0]

Racism existed from the beginning until the end of my stay. It was getting much worse in 2020. One experience I had as I worked in a hospital in Essen. There was a female student working as a nurse helper in anasthesie department. She ( Julia ) was actually just a medical student and I respected her as a human being as I respected the other colleagues. Once , she had received a patient going to have an operation. I approached the patient to ask his identity making sure he was the correct patient. The female colleague just shouted me disrespectfully not to ask on that place . Because her bad behaviour I answered her with a high tone spontaneously . Then another senior nurse came and defend her because of my reaction. I just swallowed this as I realised my status as foreigner and my focus was the patient. Actually it would not have been an issue if she had warned me with a normal tone. Another times, she tried to disrespect me again. In my opinion, if she didnt have a will to work seriously, she should leave the job. If she feared that foreigners takes jobs in the country, then she should discuss with the politician or be a politician. If this woman thought because her country is better than mine and thus she had the right to hurt the others, then she should be ashamed because she hadn't contributed to that greatness and should realised that the führer had died.

[@simonefippi4387]

OMG literally got goosebumps from your Bakery encounter 🙈🙈🙈 so shocked!

[@aljoscha5760]

I grew up as a German black and have always spoken German. I've only had a strange experience with racism, so I think that's relatively ok and it wasn't that bad either. I'm trying to defend the reputation of us Germans a little bit here😂😂😂

[@mokkamalia8290]

You are black and you have a very typical Russian name, that's funny ^^

[@sperformance.96]

You are not German

[@mokkamalia8290]

@@sperformance.96 wtf

[@Jonathan-Pilkington]

@@sperformance.96 Nazis like you arent German.

[@lenab.m.3708]

Well it also matters where you live and how dark you are. I have experienced racism countless times as a darkskin black lady from Germany (NRW)

[@ooneluv5859]

You're so right "sometimes people don't know any better" it doesn't excuse their behavior... but when I have the energy and I think it could be worth it.. I try to give this kind of people some knowledge & let them understand that they're so wrong & that they're hurting people with this behavior.. I'm really sorry you had so many bad experiences:( 💔 .. but you're a very smart, strong & wise woman 🙏🏻❤ Keep your head up!! You're doing a great work!!! Stay strong, God bless!!

[@hbert06]

I guess the thing is: some people are treating each other offensive or rude regardless race or gender. It's just if they find anything they can weaponize - they do.

[@patrickssmith3594]

I‘m sorry that you had to experience that, Hayley. On the one side it’s a bad experience - but an experience. I just hope things like this don’t stick in your mind too much. Racism unfortunately is a worldwide problem that can only be combatted with education, openness, and tolerance.

[@clausi5585]

I always don't understand why you can't accept people for who they are? It doesn't matter what skin color you have or what god you worship. The only important thing is that you respect yourself.

[@hanneswolkenhauer5390]

Strong message, thank you Hayley - good that you speak out , possibly people will learn from that

[@langendaus1]

When I came to Australia from Germany in 1968 and moved to a small country town ,I was called Natzi or Adolf, but after 12 months I joined the volunteer fire brigade and from then on I was no longer a Natzi and everybody said hello, smiled and knew me by Name, in other words I became a member of the community. And I still am and proud of it!

[@ossamakalimi7295]

How is this relevant under this video?

[@ossamakalimi7295]

@@rolandfeller7800 nazi

[@lifebalance870]

Great topic, you are becoming so brave Hayley. Much Respect✌🏽💖🌹

[@Arimaquinador]

From my experience in Germany if you are upset about something you need to say it. Normally solves the problem, being offended solves nothing. Both stories prove the point.

[@lenab.m.3708]

i said sth when someone called me the N-Word. Guess what they painted me the angry black woman and nothing happened.

[@lifelikeatob]

Oh yeah? Then there would be no racism left on this planet by now if it was that easy! Please educate yourself

[@Exodon2020]

A friend's son was suspended from Kindergarten last year during Canival for allegedly wearing Blackface - his costume was that of a classic chimney-sweeper. For Context: Before the invention of modern boilers turned that profession into a branch of Engineering Chimney Sweepers had to clear smokestacks and chimneys - of industrial plants as well as homes from soot gathered on the inner walls so the chimney wouldn't catch fire. This was of course a very dirty, hazardous work and often times you could regognize a chimney sweeper by thick stains of soot on their clothes and on their skin. Well back to topic: My friend applied some dark face paint for exactly this effect. It didn't cover the entire face, nor was it applied to seem like any sort of "mask" - yet the son was still sent home and the mother was called in to talk about Racism. To me that just seemed over the top.

[@disneylandacidtrip]

In Hesse we call a beer mixed with coke a "Dreckiges" (a dirty one). We once made a school trip to Bavaria and when a dark skinned classmate ordered a "Dreckiges" in a bar, the waiter didn't know what he meant, so my classmate explained. The waiter then said "Oh, you mean a GERMAN-N-WORD?!" We were so shocked and embarrassed :X That was more than 10 years ago... I hope people have another name for their mixed beer nowadays.

[@florian8599]

I mean, we relabelled "Zigeunersauce" (Gipsy Sauce) into "Gewürzsauce ungarischer Art" (Hungarian Style Sauce) - and restaurants search for a new name for the "Zigeunerschnitzel"... And coke+beer hase many different terms: Colabier, Diesel, Drecksack, Dreckiges Bier, Gespritztes, Gestreiftes, Kalter Kaffee, Krefelder, Mazout, Moorwasser, Schmutz, Schmutziges, Schuss, Pilsschuss, Schussbier

[@Magikgardenbaby]

I am white, German and I also experinenced racism when I moved to England. I had kids lift their arms out straight in a Nazi salute and Adults (Strangers) asking me if I was a Nazi and other stupid things! . Did only happen 4 or 5 times in my 40 years in England. It was hurtful and I totally understand you. I was not judged by my skin colour but by my country.....I like watching your videos. I am feeling a little home sick when you talk about life in Germany. But I am so used to England now , I would not fit in any more . I am like an inbetweener... not quite English, not quite German ...

[@patriceesela5000]

This is xenophobia and not exactly racism technically since many white English are of Anglo-Saxon (Angel Sachsen) descent, which as I'm sure you know, are a northern German tribe. Racism are negative encounters between different races, xenophobia between negative encounters between ethnic groups within a race. Of course, this is not to make light of what you've experienced, the greatest enemy to human kind is ignorance

[@maneshipocrates2264]

It is not actually racism.

[@ahsanurr4219]

Xenophobia, not racism

[@BananenbaumEY]

Beer+Coke = Dirty Bier or Pils/Cola or Krefelder Beer+Fanta = Alster Beer+Sprite = Radler Never ever have I encountered anyone or heard ever of "Nword" as a slang for that kind of beer. What the hell?

[@derace1987]

I heard it the first time in Bayern as i went for a drink with my colleague. I was was shocked. But it seems to be a old saying and not used at all excpect by some assholes that think its still ok

[@christopherknight921]

If I were a minority, I sure as hell wouldn't go to Europe.

[@dieZera]

I think the woman in the bakery would have been rude to everyone and just needed to find something to insult you. So similar things happen to others aswell, then they are being called fat or something else. Still not excusable.

[@swanpride]

Yeah, no wonder the Bakery lady was so stressed out. The "direct in your face" racism, that is something you just don't expect as a German unless the person in question is a visible neonazi (though sadly it has become more common since the rise of the AfD). She most likely had zero experience with this kind of thing. (Kind of unrelated, but people who want to get ahead in a bakery are the worst...lines in those are more a suggestion, partly because some people need a little bit longer to make a selection and don't mind if someone else is served first until they made up their mind, but usually the staff knows exactly who entered in what order, and it is just rude to pretend that they don't know how to do their job). The more settled kind of racism is way more common, though it kind of depends on the area how common. Immigration heavy areas (I know that Munich nowadays counts as such, but that is a more recent development) it's less likely to happen.

[@Holozon]

i think sometimes racism and curiosity are mixed up because the usual targets of racism are sensitivized, so that pure curiosity (which is normal in a rural area where u never see a different person) might be mistaken as racist behavior, for example the beautiful african hair that wants te be touched and felt by my granny, while the black girl might take offense to it, my granny never had a negative or second thaught about it... its more like visiting a zoo " look a tiger", in rural austria its " look a black/ indian / tamil girl"... at least thats what i watched with my tamil ex gf.

[@michz9304]

@@Holozon I get what you mean by this but it doesn't make you feel any better. I'm "ethnically ambiguous" looking, white passing to some people (I'm mixed, mostly European but also native, black), and I've learned over time that a lot of old people don't know any better so I just ignore it or let it pass, sometimes the comments are awkward like "wow you're so pretty, your skin colour is pretty" lol and I'm like okay thanks 😅 or I just get stared at if I'm in a small town or at local places where I'm clearly the most "exotic" looking one - I used to feel really self conscious being stared at but over time I realized Germans just stare a lot compared to other cultures like Nordic countries or Canada where staring is seen as creepy, invasive, and even rude. However, if it's younger people - Google exists for a reason - a few months ago I was walking by a garden and a man said to his friend wow look at the hot chocolate walking by even though I could clearly hear it. And these types of comments from men surprisingly is something I've heard quite a bit even though people say German men are reserved and even "repressed" I feel like if you look "exotic" they all of sudden find their inner "Italian stallion" and think it's okay to act and say those things that they wouldn't say to a German woman probably!

[@irinka_kat]

I know this kind man you say in the first story. This is the type of men who thinks all Asians can give massage with happy endings and would go to a brothel and chooses women of color and he is mostly hated secretly by his circle of friends.

[@mdnickless]

Two things I have noticed about Germany: 1. It has a mix of different cultures, but there not many "Black" people. This can make someone with a particularly dark skin a bit of a curiosity. 2. There are "Deutscher" and there are "Ausländer". For a long time it was not possible for a foreign resident to become German, though this has now changed. Germans are not hostile towards foreigners, but their nevertheless is a certain Apartheid.

[@lenasab8727]

That Lady that cut in front of you seems like she hasn't had a very good Kinderstube 😡 Just like that guy. Just rude people who think they own the world. And that's the problem that these kind of people are everywhere. But I'm so glad that the nice bakery lady stood up for u. ❤️

[@greenknitter]

It was more than rudeness. It was blatant racism and xenophobia.

[@van03de]

I think the bakery had better issued a Hausverbot to that racist lady.

[@beanem.3989]

Kinderstube at a mental ward if any.

[@myabayauk5394]

I definitely experienced it in Berlin. I shared my British Somali experience on my channel too

[@lynnsintention5722]

Wow you have had some bad experiences...That lady in the bakery was over the top...But I have met people like that man at the party...Alot of times the Germans speak with no filter...They say exactly what comes into their head and foreigners find that very off putting...Also alot of them just have no experience with foreigners and kind of stick their foot in their mouth. For example I work at an international company and we had an open house day one other college is black (African) and me (American) in a room with 50 Germans and a woman comes up to me points across at the other black in the room and says:"Is that your man??" She just assumed that we had to be together because of our brown skin tones....I just shook my head no and I think that was the first moment when she realized how stupid she sounded.... No American would ever ask something like that it would be very rude. I just chalked it up to no exposure to foreigners in the small town where I live.

[@HayleyAlexis]

I should not laugh at that story but it is quite funny... I would have replied "is that your woman" and pointed to any other person at the party... and when she said "no" I would say... "oh...weird"

[@grewdpastor]

The problem in this case is not the directness ... it is the assumption by categorising based on skin colour.

[@Sakaran2010]

Hi Hayley, unfortunately you are right...starts at school and continues on in life. My own experience was due to my height and being what some termed as a gentle giant (2 meters ). and therefore an easy target to "prove" their strength. Have been living in Germany now for over 26 years and truthfully my two worst experiences were: A) a fellow worker pretending they could not understand me (everyone else could) and making stupid comments all the time I worked there. B) Being in a pub noticing the server had an accent...when the lady came I politely enquired if she spoke English. Her reply was a very angry "No I speak Irish". Which I had to explain to my stunned German friends that the Lady most likely came from Northern Ireland as those in the south are generally a lot friendlier.

[@wrestlinghf3863]

I have visited Germany several times and honestly I find the Netherlands as more welcoming and the Dutch as more friendly, although have not lived in either country so cannot say for sure. Others that I have talked to pretty much agree that the Dutch are more laidback and kind although I am well aware that there are issues there too. That being said, having lived in other parts of Europe and North America, my personal feeling is that Americans are MUCH nicer than anywhere else in the world. The daily friendly small talk in the US is so refreshing, people are much more down to earth, there is much less classism than anywhere else I have been to and despite the historical racial issues and how the media portrays it, the Unites States is my favorite country mainly because of its people regardless of their color. The US has its own soul.

[@kellymcintyre1339]

I am a white American woman from Oregon who had the opportunity to visit France in the mid-80's. Your story reminded me of an experience I had there. One of the families I stayed with was in Normandy, and we drove all over that beautiful region. We stopped at a country restaurant to have lunch. We were sat at a table outside with people who we didn't know, and there was also a man we met there who had served in the military with the father in the family I stayed with. This guy was the biggest jerk in the world. He had a pit bull that was extremely aggressive and barked constantly. My French wasn't that great, but I understood this idiot when he kept laughing and telling the dog that American meat was good to eat. The others there were embarrassed, but no one said a word. Not the same, but I do remember thinking that I wasn't going to make it home... I really like your channel.

[@lumj1776]

In general, in bavarian dialect the n word is used quite often, mostly in a positive context (for example, when giving a compliment about your tan). Nevertheless, I understand that this can also be hurtful to someone, even though there may be no bad intentions behind it

[@jenny_sports6460]

This is not to justify to use that word!

[@sonjadavis406]

I am so sorry you had to experience that! I was born and raised in Bavaria and never heard a Colaweizen being referred to as the N word.

[@ingovb6155]

My guess is that it is a general thing: as soon as you speak the local language, you will be treated differently. It shows the local people that you care about them and their culture and went out of your way to do so (=learning a language) - and that makes it so much harder to be abusive.

[@HayleyAlexis]

I agree.... I have had people want to say something really rude to me but bite their tongue because I understood them or spoke their language.... hmmm

[@ikw6262]

@@HayleyAlexis Think I said this before, but still think Thinking before speaking must be the better way. Biting your own tongue realls hurts, should avoid that as often as possible ;-)

[@CPTMorada]

Though you're guess could be right for certain people, I can bet you it wouldn't change much overall. It would soon, become, "oh, well, you know German, but not enough to grasp the subtle and detailed historical irony in our jokes, etc." At best, it would make the same guy who made the stupid remarks, just bite his tongue, which to my mind, is probably worse, because this person would still be who they are, think the same bullshit, but only suppress themselves..who wan't to be around that??? You can almost feel the awkwardness in the room from it. Such a dumb and ignorant way to think though. Its a common phrase you hear. Learning the language sufficiently enough to defend oneself shouldn't have to a precursor to human dignity and deserved respect. This kind of thinking simply gives idiots a free pass. "Prove to them" you're human first. Such horseshit.

[@ingovb6155]

@@CPTMorada "At best, it would make the same guy who made the stupid remarks, just bite his tongue, which to my mind, is probably worse, because this person would still be who they are, think the same bullshit, but only suppress themselves". So you want a thought police? Respect demands that you judge people by their actions and not what you think they might think. A person who learnt to not say something offensive definitely is better than someone who just doesn't mind or even tries to get self-esteem from being a buthole. Don't you agree?

[@CPTMorada]

@@ingovb6155 Sorry, I replied, but somehow its not taking all my words..let me try again..

[@russelneilv1361]

I'm part German but I was born in the US... I understand the German attitude you are talking about... Some are really aggressive and think they have a right to cut in front of people... They do it in the US too, I spot them all the time.. I get very angry sometimes because they are so aggressive... I'm aggressive myself but I'm aware not to cut in front of people because it is obviously rude but some Germans don't control their aggressiveness.... I give people time to go but if they don't I'm going to get out there and get done what I need to if people won't go... because you know some people act dumb about stuff but they were just being assholes..

[@helenannleeshung9028]

Well said Hayley !! 😊👍🏽 I enjoyed your video immensly !

[@HayleyAlexis]

Thank you so much!!!!

[@mariokoch3379]

I am sorry that you had to make this experience. I can confirm that 99.9 % are open and welcoming. I am a white German and since 2013 i am in a relationship with a woman from Kenya. And i must admit that i was a little bit worry when I brought her to Germany the first time, but we never had any problems, nobody ever made any racistic comments, everybody really welcomed her and she had a great time. We are currently planing to get her to Germany permanently and to hear from other people that beside a few idiots there is no racisem and her good experience was not only because she traveling around with me.

[@nathandougg9743]

You should have told him, how about I bring you a bloody Nazi 🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♂️. But just to tell you in NRW no one will talk like that. If they do the Germans will tell him or her right there.And in general Germans are very open minded ppl.

[@AB-fm9nd]

I do like your comeback. But I do have to say that there is a lot of racism in NRW, too. My mixed daughter was called the n-word a lot in elementary school in Essen. When I tried to have the teachers talk to the students who were using that word or explain how it could be hurtful to someone, they would just respond with "Sie machen ein Fass auf!" or "Sie muss Selbstbewusstsein lernen, um damit selber umgehen zu können." Mind you my daughter was in third grade then. It even got to the point where the teacher used the word in a crossword puzzle for an Erich Kästner story. With the question being: "Wie kann man sonst Afrikaner nennen?" Five letter space. Not to even mention the Steeler Jungs and other similar things. I have just been shocked by the amount of racism since moving here.

[@nathandougg9743]

@@AB-fm9nd first off sorry to hear that about your daughter. Yeah a month back they throw out 29 police officer's in NRW for racism. The schools really need to teach the kids the right way.

[@lenab.m.3708]

i live in NRW and have experienced a lot if shit here too. Racist ppl are everywhere

[@lenab.m.3708]

@@nathandougg9743 Even if they threw way 90 it doesn't mean that racism is over in NRW

[@nathandougg9743]

@@lenab.m.3708 yeah that is true just a couple months ago they throw out 32 police officers in NRW for racism

[@lustvollleben]

I'm so sorry you experienced racism. Thank you for your video!

[@stellarstarvibe]

I am so so sorry for what happened to you. Especially the second one was terrifying. My mum had a similar experience. She forgot to place the grocery divider while checking out and this old man behind her immediately goes like "Scheiß Ausländer". She is white (Croatian), so I can't even imagine what black people have to endure. This was her only racist experience in 25 years of living in Germany though. For black people the number must be much higher. I would like to know what racist experiences you've had in the US and if it was different, if you're willing to talk about it. Thanks for the video

[@HayleyAlexis]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- my racist experiences in the USA... I would need a 10 hour long video on KZbin. They are a lot worse. I know people who have been murdered in the USA due to the color of their skin. That is why I try my best not to compare racism in the USA to Germany because the experience is so different. Being called an "Auslander" is nothing compared to being followed and harassed by people telling you they will kill you and hang you from a tree....

[@stellarstarvibe]

@@HayleyAlexis you are absolutely right, in comparison of what my mum experienced it is NOTHING. My heart breaks for everyone being treated badly because of race or colour. And I would listen to a 10 hour video from you :)

[@Lexor888]

One racist situation in 25 years, lol? This should be an advert for how foreigner friendly we are.

[@stellarstarvibe]

@@Lexor888 hmm but she is white and Croatian (Germans generally like Croatians) so it was actually a shock for her to get told such thing. Because she has never ever before experienced it. For other ethnicities it's much harder of course.

[@Magikgardenbaby]

@@HayleyAlexis OMG, that is ghastly. As humans we are all the same and should all be equal. I have been good friends with Japanese, Chinese, African, English, German and Palestinian girls and we all have some cultural differences but really we are the same. But in my experience is best never to argue about politics, lol.

[@clarkorion197]

First rich bloke example you mentioned of sounds like some kind of backward narcissist, or otherwise someone who'd lived in a rich-white-supremist world with lack of empathy etc. Good for you that you didn't stay around them, tell them to leave you alone, don't serve you.

[@willneverforgets3341]

Germany has a strange minority of people who are openly aggressive, unkind, racist, and xenophobic. A larger group is racist or xenophobic but will only show it in a subtle way (a way you would probably not notice if you don't speak the language fluently). The rest (the big majority) will just mind their own business. What aorries me is that sometimes even people who have travelled a lot are still racist/xenophobic.

[@geogecko137]

To be fair, I also used to call Schokoküsse Morenkopf when I was a child and I never really understood why they were called this or what it meant. I think that some older people even in my family still use the word sometimes but they don't mean any harm with that, I try to sensitive them to use a more appropriate word. Still I believe that most people you will find who call it that don't mean to be offensive or anything, it's just something that became a standard term during their childhood.

[@jochebedkoomson2464]

I was literally asked to go out from boutique in Schwerin while I was with two German friends. This happened nearly three years ago and also in the city, everyone was staring in a strange way. Was really hard to explain. Other experience in Hockenheimring und Nürburgring. The men were touching me while my boyfriend was sitting right there. From where am coming from, this is mentally abuse not only physically. Had other experience too in Mannheim.

[@markusberndkrause2858]

Many people in many countries need to rethink their behaviour and actions. The world is growing faster together and we need to respect all humans. Nobody is better than others. Also we need to learn from the history. What our ancestors did wrong, we shouldn’t repeat it. Learn of the mistakes in history to create a better world.

[@HyButchan]

I am Irish and I have experienced "Xenophobia" directed at me in Germany. It is not only about race. I can honestly say though that Germany is one of the less racist countries in Europe. England and France can be way worse and the USA is 10 times worse than anywhere in Europe.

[@waterfallanothermedium1821]

Hey I will say, even though I’m biased as an American, it’s definitely NO WHERE near as close as the UK or Germany any day of the week. We’ve always been a melting pot. We’re much more progressive in terms of improving diversity. You would get absolutely SOCKED if anyone ever said the same thing that the man from the beginning said to this woman. This story would be absolutely jaw dropping for most Americans. Even though there’s still a lot of racism in America, it’s no where near as rampant or obvious as Europe.

[@allen2560]

I've experience more racism in Germany at the airport than I ever did living in US, and I've been living in US since I was a child.

[@keepinitkawaii]

@@waterfallanothermedium1821 well as a POC American who has lived in the south (Mississippi and Georgia) stories like hers are not at all shocking and are not bad at all to me. I'll take that kind of racism over the kind of stuff i grew up with any day

[@bilalhamurabi3362]

you didbt experience as much racism cause youre irish and look western european

[@lizzyezekiel116]

@@allen2560literally it’s funny how people say that abt America and their foot has never been to an American airport lol😂. It’s not all good in every state but I’ve definitely never experienced any of it.

[@TheSearaider]

Your soo beautiful in this that makeup on your otherclips actually spoils your look.

[@johannes5460]

I am so sorry that you had to go though this. There a are lots of selfish, narrow minded or uneducated people out there.

[@narrengold]

The south of Germany is more "conservative". Which is more or less a friendly description. Even myself as a northern Germany person they look down on with that "Ah, geh a Preiß". Which is of course nothing compared to your experience. If I have to live there for the rest of my life, it would be hell on earth for me.

[@edsnotgod]

The Prussians are disliked in southern Germany and across Europe for a reason. Despite Germany's - and Europe's - attempts to paint themselves as eternal victims of Soviet and US imperialism, they have not experienced many years of peace and love since the Neanderthals showed up there. The white settlers who brought guns, alcohol and death to the American continents weren't "Amis", either, they were 100% Euros. This is eagerly forgotten in Germany

[@narrengold]

@@edsnotgod If your statement would be what we call an "Aufsatz"(instead of a word by word writing which is a "Diktat") then you have completely failed my point. You mixed so many points, throwed them in the air and then after landing on the ground this came out. Words in a complete meaningless order. I talked about "people from northern Germany" in southern Germany - You made a Prussian out of me. Then we as sudden "Prussians" are not only disliked in Bavaria but suddenly in whole Europe. Then you made a "white settler" out of me, furthermore suddenly a "European" (of course not an American, which rightly are the native Indians until today). There is no native american citzen today, except the ones from the different indian tribes. USA today is a melting pot of dozens of different countries. I'm aware of my dark heritage and responsibility as a German. Do you?

[@edsnotgod]

@@narrengold I lived in Germany for a long time, but got bored with being mocked by them: "So ein dummer Unwissender. Weiss nicht mal dass die USA 52 Staaten haben, nicht 50. So typisch Ami. Denen gehoert echt um die Ohren gehauen. So dumm wie die sind. Und deren Musik ist totale Scheisse. Solch lacherliche Auto haben die. Mensch, was die an Ramsch fressen. Unsere Hamburger aus Hamburg sollten sie wegen Rufschaedigung anzeigen. ahaah aah. So eine Kacke, so ein Dreck die Ami Kultur" So kenne die Deutschen. They simply must preach about everything.

[@IlluminatedDisplays]

Nonsense, you don't know the South at all and are spreading stereotypes here. As a Berliner, I can say that I have come to know the Bavarians as much more openminded, tolerant and cosmopolitan than the northern Germans I have met.

[@narrengold]

@@IlluminatedDisplays So you're talking about Munich, right? And of course northern Germans are narrow-minded, intolerant and have no idea what "cosmopolitan"means. But that depends on the fact that most of us living in the country...like most of the Bavarians, too.

[@CO84trucker]

If ya want to cuss out a German, tell them "Scheiß Piefke!". If you take the "e" off 🇩🇪💩 it has the same meaning as the one finger salute. "Piefke" is an Austrian slur for germans based a Prussian military bandleader whose their version of John Phillip Sousa.

[@melw5725]

I honestly would not know what a Piefke is. I think I've heard it used, but would be about as useful as Kruscht to me, until someone would explain it to me. I grew up in NRW and am now living in BW. Pretty sure none of my friends would know the meaning of the word either.

[@CO84trucker]

@@melw5725 yeah, it obviously has some strong references to Prussia (hence Johann Gottfried Piefke... Prueßens Gloria, Königgrätzer Marsch e.t.c). I was once riding with my Austrian cousins on the 🇦🇹autobahn between Vienna & Salzburg and a German car blew past us doing 160+km/h while we were doing the legal speed of 130, thus she yelled "Scheiß Piefke!"

[@jenny_sports6460]

But the huge problem is that people who experience racism can't always say something against it. White people have to change and stop being racist and ignorant and have to call these people out. I personally can't always call people out because I am so angry and disappointed at the same time. I experience racism as a brown girl and I am not always able to stand or say something against it. WHITE PEOPLE HAVE TO CHANGE!!!!

[@himmel-erdeundzuruck5682]

I'm not drinking beer, but I heard about beer with cola, and the name was NOT N, but Diesel. And - I grew up in Munich, so... It's a new name, made up in new times, when it was already impolite to say so. With Schaumküsse, it's different. In former times they were called : N.-Kuss or Mohrenkopf. N or M refer to the colour, form and sweetness. These were not meant to be negative, in contrary, in my eyes it was so positive (as these are so delicious), that I was really upset when I learned that they changed the name for avoiding racism. My association was only with my favorite sweets. Ok, a dark skinned pastor from the USA was living at the same house as my grandparents did, and so growing up I even could not imagine that the colour of one's skin made more difference than the colour of one's eyes. Seems I was very naive by that time 🙄 Nevertheless indeed the sweets had been a very positive connotation. In contrary to what you might feel. Btw. - you were so right to stop to work with that family! It is so embarassing if somebody is provoking or downsizing you all the time like this! I remember the uncle of a friend praising me how fine I was washing dishes. Guess, within the tenth part of a second he had a wet dish and my towel in his hands. This had not been for my colour but for me as a woman, and this I just owed me for my own self respect. This kind of guys always try to put someone down, and even think they are charming doing so. I've really got an allergy against them. I guess in your place I'd immediately be tempted to pour the drink into the next toilet or sink, depending on what's nearer. But of course, just leaving your job was better done.