My Fiance's Best Friend Is Making My Life A LIVING HELL r/Relationships

[@samoanjoseph1457]

If your SO has a MENTAL BREAKDOWN over your friend picking at her, that is NOT teasing. And even if she were hypersensitive, you either need to break up with her or put your jerk friend in his place. If this guy were really a people pleaser then he should noticed that his SO is NOT PLEASED.

[@MusicalCreativity]

Its funny how people pleasers always please the assholes at the expense of the people they are supposed to love.

[@slothisasin8240]

​@@MusicalCreativity As a former chronic people pleaser: I have still always defended the people I love from harm, viciously. I'm just very self-sacrificial and I've started working on that too, because it heavily impacts my life.

[@salomerodriguez5145]

Not a mental breakdown but MULTIPLE mental breakdowns. What a joke of a man jeez.

[@yoyopron]

I burst out laughing when she said her fiance is affected just as much as her and "holding himself accountable." Uhhh no, he literally isn't. Then he sent a "firm" text message, what a hero. 🙄

[@mxxnsmelxdy]

The text message was made and redacted with her approval though. She was the one who approved of that message after both of them talking and communicating how they felt and what was happening. I would also have done things differently, but if OP is glad with what he did and that's what's enough for her, who gives a fuck? The toxic pots are out of their lives now and that was the end goal. Different things work for different couples as long as there's no kind of abuse happening, and what works for you might not work for others.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Yeah, reminds me of when a govn't official "sends a strong statement" to some other country. It doesn't do a damn thing to fix the problem!

[@simonO712]

​@@mxxnsmelxdyThis!

[@simonO712]

​@@hodgeelmwood8677But... it _did_ fix the problem though. Or at least it was a much needed first step in fixing it.

[@ScooterBond1970]

​@@hodgeelmwood8677 i was just thinking if that scene in Team America World Police where they say almost exactly that. "If you do not comply with our (UN) demands, we will be very angry. And we will write you a letter... TELLING you how angry we are!"

[@justadragonwithaphone8878]

Apparently the entire group is full of people pleaser which is why this guy can just get away with being a jerk

[@hilaryc3203]

I've noticed that if you don't support AHs, you are automatically deemed a horrible human being. It happens all the time on KZbin and this personality quirk in accepting people's rights to be pricks without accountability in day to day life, is the new society. I have even seen it on strings discussing killers; there are always people who think we all need to forgive them because "awwwww". No, just no.

[@aga3852]

@@hilaryc3203 Exactly. There is a lack nowdays of being able to just say 'fuck you' harshly to someone who does wrong. Because, 'aww poor them, you have to see it from their sideeee'

[@chaudx]

@@aga3852 Well TBH "having a side" or "not knowing better" or "that's because my childhood/trauma/whatever" doesn't exclude someone from being an AH and a "fuck you" is always okay... A "fuck you" does not discriminate gender, race, age, social-economic background nor anything else...it's all encompassing and inclusive...and most importantly it doens't care for your "excuse".

[@AngelaMerici12]

No, all of them are toxic people. Let's say this a hole goes away, what would happen if another get added to the group? They'll follow him the same way.

[@katie6731]

I don't see how OP's _"best friend"_ could marry the jerk. What kind of best friend, hell, what kind of _person_ wants to marry someone so toxically juvenile? The "best friend" knows that their fiancé chooses a victim to target, picks at them relentlessly, spreads lies, makes crank calls to embarrass them, and takes every opportunity to make them miserable. It should have been a huge, red flag when the victim was someone the "best friend" didn't care about. It should have been an absolute dealbreaker when the bully started going after OP. I can't help but wonder how the bully acts when there's conflict in his romantic relationship. Does OP's "best friend" think this guy will never emotionally abuse them? What happens the first time they're having a serious disagreement, and he realizes that he can get what he wants by using his "talent"? Would he be able to stop? How would he treat any kids they might have?

[@jonmendelson1104]

Your story reminds me of one of my mom's. She graduated from college with an engineering degree and she got her first job as an engineer in the late 70s/early 80s. Her first day someone made a comment along the lines of, "I could use a cup of coffee," implying that my mom would get it for him. She responded, "oh, if you're getting one can you grab a cup for me?"

[@becausemynameiscommon5609]

My Aunt once threatened a guy that she worked with in a making furniture that, if he didn't stop sexually harassing the women who worked there, that she'd hit him with a horse tranq, drag him to a bench vise and let the women there, that he was harassing, decide when to stop cranking the thing closed on his dangley bits.

[@sylviajones6745]

Yes, good on your mom. I let my youngest daughter have her say to my sister and her a hole husband. I haven't seen her or him in over 30 something years. I'm a much happier person 😊

[@SailorMya]

What a boss move your mom made! LOL

[@katie6731]

Your mom is a smart cookie 💙

[@ketienne1021]

Respect to the moms, but they don't build em like that no more. OP is giving me safe-space vibes.

[@placitas52]

Life is too short to waste time around crappy people.

[@Swnsasy]

For the life of me I just don't get these people that allow their friend to be disrespectful, hurtful, obnoxious to a person they claim to love... I had a friend of 11yrs that would do this shizz to my husband and I shut that down within a month!! She stopped it immediately because I laid down the law that my husband will ALWAYS come first in situations. I didn't raise my voice or wasn't to hear excuses because I said, this isn't a debate... Over a decade and everything has been fine...

[@RagingWoody74]

​@@Swnsasy👍🏿

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Agreed. Anyone who would publicly humiliate someone that their friend plans to spend the rest of their life with is just an awful person. I used to be friends with someone who would do this and it wasn't okay. I told her off and she did the typical gaslighting, deflection, projection, blame-shifting and denial of any wrongdoing routine. She went full DARVO. Unlike OP, I didn't keep it calm or in a neutral tone. I ripped her to shreds. I took her to task on everything. I shouted her down like a child throwing a tantrum. Out of shock, from my blow up, she listened to everything I had to say. She did not interrupt, she did not speak over me, she did not end the call. I got a lot of I'm sorrys and promises to do better. When I told her that I'd heard it all before and I didn't believe a word that fell out of her mouth, she tried the crocodile tears. I told her to save the waterworks for when her husband kicked her to the curb. That broke through the facade and she started verbally attacking me again. I point blank told her that she could add me to the long list of people who had cut her out of their lives and I was done with her crap. I haven't spoken to her in nearly eleven years. I did hear, through the grapevine, that after I blocked her on everything and changed my cell phone number, she apparently lost her mind with rage. Allegedly, she screamed and cried until she lost her voice. This was a middle-aged woman, with two grown children and, at the time, had recently became a grandmother. Some people never mature beyond a middle school mean bully.

[@kelleynymph]

Amen to this.

[@TinyRoseTamer]

Darn Tootin!!!

[@flamiaminu5536]

Story 1: OP's fiance doesn't "have a big heart", he's a spineless doormat that can't even stand up for his own fiancee.

[@nicholerubes2959]

I knew someone other people thought had a big heart. When in truth? She was a coward with no true morals. Just whatever pleased the friend she liked most who was a slut. She ended being cruel and heartless.

[@ianesgrecia8568]

I agree. He should've just let OP isolate him from every friend one by one

[@missamanda2703]

My husband would have decked him the 2nd time he insulted me. He isn't a Neanderthal that's why he would firmly tell them that if they spoke bad about me and he heard about it he would as he says shove his nasty words back down his throat. I am fiercely protective of him because he was bullied for being the smart guy. I won't accept bullying by my child including being a onlooker and not stopping it. I don't bully people who are innocent but step on my toes or say something about my family I am coming for you.

[@flamiaminu5536]

@@ianesgrecia8568 there's a difference between getting isolated and standing up to your friends being assholes to your SO. How about you take that gaslighting shit elsewhere.

[@thebigmystery7841]

Youd be appalled at the amount of people who will sacrafice their own for their own skin to just 'save face'. My mothers best friends husband cornered me a couple of times as soon as I turned 18. I didnt feel comfortable going over there anymore...but my mom said it was "a very serious accusation..." And then proceeded to make me go to social gatherings with him there. Shed "keep an eye on me" and thats all she ever said about it. So yeah. People sometimes care more avout their image than others well being or having empathy for those around them...

[@rosystrawberry]

Yeah it's absolutely disgusting. My donor did the same thing multiple times by asking my offender "did you did xyz to my kid" and when they say no he just shrug his shoulders and agree with them. Or just flat out did nothing. And he wonders why I am no contact now. 💀

[@shannonbullock2202]

Op should tell her fiancé “a man that isn’t man enough to protect her, won’t be man enough to protect their children.” Then walk away

[@foodieyumiko5593]

Badass quote😯

[@rf159a]

Story 1: I'm sorry but if I was OP's boyfriend, my friend would have a hard time walking and eating!!

[@Solkard]

That’s kind of the problem though, the traits OP likes in her bf paints him out as meek and non-confrontational, which in turn also translates as he’s a coward. If he never disagrees and always does what others want, then he also never stands up for himself. That means he’s probably not going to stand up for you either, no matter how much he agrees with you, behind everyone else’s back.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Yep as he should

[@damien678]

​​@@Solkard My partner is the type that'd give you the shirt off his back, and that has a lot of love in his heart. He, however, is not afraid of conflict and is willing to get into arguments. The traits OP loves in her fiance doesn't necessarily mean she likes cowardly people.

[@cnow82]

She should send the Reddit post to them

[@lina9535]

OP says they are both "recovering" people pleasers. Doesn't sound like it to me. There's still people pleasing, and enabling (on the bfs and friend groups part) going on.

[@JelloAndTorture]

Story 1: How do you happily have a group of people pleasing (very cowardly) friends who don’t care to band together and check this guy?? That is insane..

[@venusbleu5764]

How did the fiance ever figure this was acceptable to begin with? Why do you need to be told this is unacceptable and why are you friends with someone so callous who can't even tone it down when it comes to their alleged friend's fiance??? OP is TA to herself dealing with all this period

[@venusbleu5764]

She gives her fiance entirely top much grace.

[@shebakoby]

terminal people pleasers get conditioned hard to NOT rock the boat, so to speak. It's good the fiance finally snapped out of the FOG (Fear Obligation and Guilt). It's not really their fault; it's the result of emotional abuse and being taught to walk on eggshells. Wouldn't surprise me if someone in OP's fiance's family was a Cluster of Bees/Abuser.

[@ketienne1021]

Now you get it. Just being their story to tell doesn't make them innocent or free of accountability.

[@FlyingPurplePplEatr]

Story 1: My gf and I both at the same time- “OP’s Fiancé is trash!”

[@carpediem6431]

🎯 people who make excuses for and “let slide” terrible, bullying, sociopathic behaviour, aren’t “people pleasers” they’re enabling, weak pieces 💩

[@ZoeyHope]

Not anymore❤

[@MaryTheresa1986]

It took him long enough. He's lucky OP didn't break up with him.

[@ElleD308]

​@@ZoeyHopehe still is. He just hasn't met the next person he'll allow to f..k with his family

[@LoveK1]

@@ElleD308yep! And by that point OP will probably be 2 kids deep with that limo noodle. Smh, the pebble comes before the brick.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

The fact that it isn't a deal-breaker for him needs to be a deal-breaker for you.

[@aishas2497]

I think as I get older, people can talk about me behind my back. However, anything said to my face, I'm going to give the same attitude back with a major reaction.

[@nathanhinman9069]

Had a friend who turned their back on our entire group for a pathological asshole, I know a bit of the pain the OP experienced. She's better off without that in her life. Mark's Story was awesome lol.

[@OrlaQuirk]

Yeah, I'm still dealing with a childhood friend whose husband is a total jerk. This has been going on for about 30 years, and she still complains about the SAME stuff he's done for 30 years. SAME dam stuff. And she whines like it's the first time it's ever happened. Honestly, her life has become such an unholy mess that I'm giving her about a 10% chance that she will suicide before a year. Obviously, I have not told her that. But when she comes over, I make damn sure the guns are locked AND hidden. This is not kind, but if I had it to do over again, I would just cool the friendship after graduation, and send her a birthday card every year with a little note saying "I'm still here for you if you leave your abusive husband. I have a room for you."

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 1: That is a coward not a people pleasure.

[@BraveryWing26]

"It turns out I was wrong, they are a perfect match" NO CONTACT!!!

[@thekameru6058]

Story 1 - Poor gal needs a new best friend AND partner. All of them are prioritising that creep over them. What a limp lettuce of a man. She will be fighting her corner as if shes single for the rest of her life if she tolerates this.

[@Ravenousxrellik]

Limp lettuce is a great descriptor 😂

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

Doesn't sound like OP's fiance is a "Recovering" people pleaser. He is still indulging in some the most self destructive tendencies of a people pleasing by trying to appease both parties of a conflict when it is simply not possible and is going to lose at least one of them in the process.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Agreed. I don’t think OP is nearly as over the people pleasing as she thinks she is either. She keeps saying “I would never ask you to do that” response to being asked if fiancé should cut the guy off. Despite knowing that is exactly what she wants, she can’t bring herself to say it because it may upset somebody else. Instead she suffers in silence and hopes he will read her mind. Plus she is not intervening with her best friend about to marry this guy?? Only reason I can think of is she is again people pleasing, doesn’t want to tell her friend “hey, I think you are about to get married to a bully / ash hole”

[@StubbyandShifu]

He dropped his friend. What was he supposed to do?

[@myounakami]

@@StubbyandShifu I think it's alluding to the fact that things went on _way_ longer than they should have before finally dropping the friend; 'recovering' would insinuate he doesn't engage in those people pleasing behaviors anymore, but he very much was by not defending his fiancée from the friend's bullying in an effort to not rock the boat. Him asking her if he should cut him out was him trying to pass the buck and absolve himself of responsible for any fallout (in essence, having her be the bad guy whether he intended to or not). And as Queen said above, OP was engaging in a lot of people pleasing behavior as well by letting everything slide even at the cost of her mental health due to not wanting to cause problems for others. Yes, he eventually did the right thing and dropped the friend, but it also took OP having multiple breakdowns and nearly losing his fiancée to make it happen.

[@ElleD308]

​@@StubbyandShifu aahhh..... drop him years sooner? 😂

[@christafox13]

Yeah OPs fiancé isn’t a people pleaser, he’s spineless and self-absorbed. He’s unwilling to confront or address issues where his “loved ones” are being hurt or attacked. He doesn’t bother to stand up for OP even though it’s HIS friend (that he’s the one with the relationship with this friend and the reason behind OP having to interact with this friend in the first place - this is not OPs friend, it’s HIS and his responsibility). It’s 100% the fiancé’s responsibility to properly address and handle this inappropriate behavior, and he fails to do so. It seems like he doesn’t care enough to bother involving himself in these types of situations, and doesn’t feel it’s his responsibility to his loved one. That’s unsupportive behavior and shows he’s very self-centered, only concerned with his own wellbeing and feelings. In the future, that Fiancé is not going to stand up for OP against any future MIL situations, etc where it’s his responsibility to stand up for and protect her. Dump this spineless self-centered bastard lok

[@beansquee2383]

I can’t believe it’s being brushed under the rug that the bf’s best friend said awful shit to OP multiple times over a long period of time and OP’s partner did NOTHING about it. But the moment OP’s best friend said ONE thing about OP’s partner she was cut off with no redemption. Was it really that hard OP?

[@PaulL.George]

The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised.

[@HomerC.Miller-hp6xn]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@PaulL.George]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white

[@HomerC.Miller-hp6xn]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@PaulL.George]

You wont regret it.

[@wvanyar1801]

I agree that there is no flawless relationship, but you can build one that can withstand any thing. This one thing is the key to a solid relationship, clear, honest communication. The honesty is not mean, does not put the other person down, but lets them know what they like and don’t like. I have five examples of this from my life. I’ll go I order of my experiencing them. 1 First serious girlfriend in college. She cheated on me. She lied to cover up her cheating. Relationship ended. 2 Second girlfriend was manipulating. She never came out and said what she wanted. She expected me to know what she wanted. The relationship ended. 3 A girl I dated in high school and worked a summer job with. While dating second girlfriend, I was informed that this #3 girl was in love with me. She never said anything directly to me. We never connected after I learned that, because she couldn’t bring herself to tell me how she felt. I was already starting to realize #2 wanted me to basically read her mind and I was not about to trade one girl with that issue for another. 4 Childhood girl was in love with me. We had hung out for years growing up. Went on some group dates and individual dates while I was in high school and a few in college when I was between girlfriends. I took her to a wedding and someone asked if #4 girl was my wife. She grabbed my hand and arm leaned into me and said, “not yet”. Problem was I was in a serious relationship with girlfriend (girl #5). This #5 girl just couldn’t make the wedding as she was my girlfriend from college and lived over 5 hours away. Girl #4 never communicated to me her feelings, until I was not available to date. 5 The college girlfriend that I married. Of all the girls, #5 told me what she liked, and didn’t like. She had her own boundaries and limits and clearly told me what they were. She didn’t make me guess or figure out what she wanted, she told me. We communicate with each other about everything, from food, to religion, to sex, to family, to what we each wanted for the future. I married #5 37+ years ago. It has not been a storybook marriage but it has been a life journey. This includes getting lost, ending up in the ditch, and cruising care free down the highway of life. But we have been there for each other the entire time, because we communicate with each other.

[@justasmalltowngirllivingin8453]

The best part of this story is when the bad friend thratened to tell on him to his parents?! Like what is his mom going to call and be like hey you are going to forgive him and be a part of the band or you are geounded. Haha.

[@NeedHealer]

The brother side story was awesome

[@kateemma22]

Based on the last update I wonder if the ‘best friend’ actually always hated OP and set the loser on her? Some friendships, especially ones that started young, can be so hostile at their core.

[@ErnestReddit]

11:10 Atleast the 2 "nice" people found each other and they won't run around hurting others

[@AndyyWithAY]

I know there are 3 brothers, I was wondering if this was the brother that moves the car. When that was confirmed I knew this was gonna be a doozy! I'd love for him to be a guest on the channel one day, he is a character! Sometimes you just have to go off one good time for people to respect you😂😂

[@ikeharper9339]

I'm going to be honest, i spaced out the main story but the story about your brother? Pure catharsis. What a lad ❤ Legit made me so happy.

[@ondank]

OP is a bit delusional that she said "my boyfriend came through" and all he did, after months of her being tortured, was send a text? Is she joking. He didn't put her first. He didn't choose her. The friend blew up on them and made it impossible for that to continue. She was just what was left.

[@poohbear4515]

S1: “I used to be a people pleaser, too.” Yet you’re still with a spineless doormat that won’t stand up for his fiance when his ‘best friend’ happily torturing others to the point they have a mental breakdown for his sick pleasure. Everyone enables this sadistic AH, and fiance doesn’t want to leave the band project even tho his fiance is suffering badly just being around that lying, two-faced bastard. It also doesn’t sound like fiance is really trying to stop being a doormat so why are you still with him?

[@Chilliwack56]

So you ignored the update where her fiance cut him off, and OP cut off her so called BF, as the two were cut from the same cloth.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

It’s not the boyfriend’s job to solve .

[@poohbear4515]

@@Chilliwack56 i tend to do that a lot lol

[@ineedhoez]

Amen!!!!!

[@DawnSuttonfabfour]

A band? 10 years? Get real. I think ops b/f is very dodgy and not to be relied upon. How old is he? Too old to truly believe his band are going anywhere and it's really a hobby. 10 years? That's delusion.

[@Yeahno-ey3rb]

Story 1: Here's to hoping that OP and BF leaving the friend helps others to realize that they can leave too. The problem is, the friend will always find people to replace them

[@kerrywhimsey2061]

As a female in the sixties in the Air Force I said I don’t drink coffee so I don’t make coffee. At the time I was the only female in the squadron. Begin as you mean to go on. You had to lay boundaries to be taken seriously.

[@scottwiggins1410]

Hope you release more videos from all your stories, maybe a compilation. They're just as interesting as the ones you read. Much Love ❤🧇

[@shebakoby]

buried lede: OP's supposed best friend that is getting MARRIED TO OP's fiance's best friend, isn't a real friend. EDIT: freakin' CALLED IT. OP's exbff and the ex bff of fiance are codependent and both disordered in some way. Ex bff of OP is most likely a covert narcissist-enabler. Fiance's ex bff is something infinitely worse. Most likely something that ends in "pathy", whether socio or psycho is hard to say.

[@DaWhiteWolffie]

*nodsnods*

[@violetcwest]

Antisocial personality disorder covers both sociopathy and psychopathy.

[@shebakoby]

@@violetcwest this is true but the causes are different (socio generally recognized as more "nurture" while psycho is thought to be more inherent "nature").

[@violetcwest]

@@shebakoby I know, I had to do some research on it recently and found out all this cool stuff about it I didn’t previously know. I was just initially saying, more of an add on agreement, he likely has Antisocial, and that it’s quicker to type that unless you were going for literary roast value. In which case ignore me lol

[@nondisclosure3920]

​@@violetcwestsociopathy was only ever used by the FBI. It doesn't have a test or anything like hare's psychopathy checklist. Dsm wise the only similar conditions are like you said ASPD but narcissistic personality disorder also has an overlap. The primary thing being a chronic lack of empathy. He's definitely getting an A in narcism, the extreme vindictiveness, the manipulation, the way he's basically trained others to just allow it, are all typical NPD. His narcissistic supply is probably pain, fear and control

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

My 55 year old friend told me her male neighbour was "bullying her" and I was shocked: I didn't think people still got "bullied" as adults.

[@caridadchang7895]

when my mom was in her graduate program, as a 50 year old woman surrounded mostly by other people her age, there was a rumor going around that some bitch that didn't like and her friends were planing to beat her up. She showed up the next class in her chef uniform and bragged about always carrying her knife set in the car. They never approached her again.

[@juliearmfield2634]

My mom always told me you teach people how to treat you.

[@anyjen]

We tend to call it by other names when it's adults. Harassing and stalking comes to mind; but it's essentially the same thing. Bullies rarely stop bullying.

[@PuppyKatt]

@annabethsmith-kingsley2079 Sadly, more than you can ever imagine. Some kids just never grow up.

[@leaflet1686]

Same... I am 26 now and last week at work I was like: Seriously?

[@pennybast3953]

Mark, my dude, I would love to buy a pint for you and your brother some time. I want to hear your "back in the day" stories.

[@BigL_TheKing]

Mark let your brother he is AMAZING! And you can’t let people take the piss out of you. Shut that down immediately

[@s4rcelle]

Mark: Your brother rocks, LMAO. We need more guys like him in life 😤

[@boopboop2771]

My cat Kirby appreciates the butterflies!

[@jr5557]

I can just tell how dismissive of OP feelings the people around her have been because she is describing completely fucked up and outrageous behavior while also saying I know this might seem insignificant or small or dumb reason to be upset. This would have me fuming!!!

[@Silence-1170]

Hi waffles! Hope you are all doing well! Hope you have a marvelous rest of your Monday! Stay safe and Stay positive waffles!

[@romonaelrod7870]

@@Silence-1170 hi Silence. I hope that you are well. 😁

[@treefittyforall]

Mark's brother handled it like a man. By that he let it slide hoping it wasn't going to become a thing. When it was proven to be something that would continue he went to the boss and told him. Boss didn't handle it right and tried to make Mark's brother seem like he was being sensitive and to just let it go. You can only tolerate so much disrespect by someone. The more you allow disrespect the more and worse it gets. He still didn't get violent, but he did show him he wasn't going to allow it and isn't a punk. I don't condone violence, but sometimes it's the only option because of what can develope if the person is not dealt with and people allow them to continue treating you any kind of way and let you know nothing will be done about it.

[@crichtonbruce4329]

One of the signs your dealing with a master manipulator/bully is their ability to push the envelope just to the degree no one can really call them out on their behavior. Everyone knows, but no one is willing to stand up to them because there is just a bit of doubt about the behavior being truly malicious. Of course, just as in this story, once called out the result is a counter .attack by them with every weapon they have.

[@heathercontois4501]

Story 1-Not even through and OP's bet friend is marrying and abu$er, who no one stands up to. How has no one stood up to him OR why did the ones that did leave so OP is the next in line?

[@PeterShipley1]

two observations: the project will fail, nobody wants to be the first person to bail, no one has and the fuse has been lit is she sure her friend sent the messages, or was it the fiance using her phone behind her back?

[@Maizazael]

Idk if I haven't somehow noticed it (I walk around a lot at work) but I appreciate the 1st inclusion of subs of your waffles!!! It's so much better than the CC :')

[@MGP2210]

18:55 Well done to your brother, Mark 😊

[@browniewin4121]

It is sad OP is being treated badly, her fiance is not able to tell this guy to knock it off, and her best friend is infatuated and willing to excuse bad behavior and marry the AH. What a mess. After update: So glad to hear OP's partner came through for her as needs be and told the AH to stop. I think it's good this led to OP's finace fully seeing what this AH is like and can move on without him in their lives. It's good OP got to see what a crap person her now X friend is and need not give anything more to her. (kudos to your brother for sticking up for himself, glad this worked out well for him)

[@TraceyBoyland]

Heeeeey, Mark and cuddles to poppy

[@liyo210]

Listening to these types of stories, I keep hearing the same pattern: my partner/friend, etc is a wonderful person but they have a family member/friend, etc who treats me like crap. 🤔 If the partner/friend are so wonderful, why are they letting someone else treat them like crap? At the end of the day, even if you are conflict avoidant, you have to stand up for those you really love, otherwise, you don’t deserve a label “most wonderful person.”

[@nela3986]

I will leave an unpopular comment. - Her friends who were just "like her husbands friend" she cut out. - The friend group that "doesn't speak up". - Her bestie who is going to marry her husband's friend and finally him, - husband's friend, who she doesn't get along with.... Do you guys see the common nominator?... Just a thought.

[@macylouwho1187]

I’m the kind of person like your brother. I’m all good up until you do me wrong and then look the frick out, I’m not having it. My tongue is as sharp as a guillotine and my body is poised to strike if unavoidable and necessary. Sometimes, unfortunately, there is no other way. When everyone else turns a blind eye to bullying, the victim is on their own. There’s only one thing that a bully responds to, and that is strength. You have to be strong and stand up for yourself or else suffer endlessly unfortunately. I had an upperclassman girl say snarkily to someone I had just been talking to still within earshot “why are you talking to that ultimate boy toy? She gets around quite a bit” (I was dating a football player that she liked very much, so she was salty about it. I had only dated two guys in high school at that point, so I wasn’t exactly making the rounds as she implied 😂). I turned around and walked back to that mutual friend and looked at the girl talking bad about me and said “that’s funny coming from the ultimate cop toy, didn’t two of the local officers pass you back and forth for awhile??? But you weren’t exactly their girlfriend either, were you?” She stormed off with red cheeks. It was true and she knew it. It wasn’t my fault that the guy that she liked didn’t return her affection, or that he chose to date me after knowing that she liked him. She should have took her feelings out on him instead of me. I had nothing to do with it. That all happened prior to me dating him so I wasn’t a part of his decision not to date her.

[@gelibeanzcantrell7192]

i always love when Mark adds in his own stories 😊

[@elsaflood6393]

S1. Your fiance can marry him and you can find a "man " who will stand by you.

[@mygrandma3041]

She is in love with her fiance but her fiance is not if he keeps his partner being bullied by his friend.

[@celestialangel666]

I'm so glad to hear the story about your brother! The original story just had me thinking of all the friends who were slowly ghosted by their other friends for being like the one picking on everyone. At one point, they grow out of it, and ones like that ex-friend...never do, and end up alone and upset that the world is against them. ...also I kept thinking of Ianto from Torchwood as your brother, which tbf if he'd done that to some of the people on the show...yeah.

[@EmiriTsukiyo]

Marks story was more satisfying than the main story😂

[@thatjeff7550]

Mark's Brother: yeah, I was kind of hoping OP would have done something similar. Like, "Oh, you're wanting a reaction? Okay, how about one where I pop you in the mouth with a set of brass knuckles?" On the other hand, I also wondered if Mark's Brother was going to serve that guy "tea" in the form of tea, cream, and a massive amount of salt and then force the guy to drink all of it.

[@xdsc96]

Mark's brother served it up, but not in the way the other dude expected 😂 served it up so he could spill the tea about it later 🤣

[@HolyGround777]

I kind of love your brother story, bless him😂 Always fun to hear stories from your own life!

[@shirleyanneyoung955]

Re your story about your brother - My brother is a very affable non-confrontational kind of guy. He asked one of his colleagues if he could borrow something and the guy told him to f*** off. My brother didn’t say anything then but waited until he was alone with the guy then he approached him and said “Don’t you ever fkn speak to me like that again.” My brother never shouts when he’s angry, he gets very quiet but he has a certain look to him and you know he’s not messing. The guy started stuttering and apologising, saying he never meant it and he was joking. My brother never had a problem with the guy again, he was always very nice to my brother after that.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Does anyone else think the bully is only with OP's (former) bestie just to mess with her? I wouldn't be surprised if he dumped bestie now that OP is no longer accessible to him.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "Messing with me less"? Nah bro. You have a fiance problem. Anyone talks shit about/to me, I don't have to shut them down because my husband will, HARD. He's even shut his own family down. "That's a lot easier to say when you have no stakes in it." I am so tired of seeing this excuse. I've been there. I've done it. It sucks, but be honest: so does your life right now. And if it were truly "eating your fiance up as much as you," HE would be having panic attacks and breakdowns. He doesn't care so long as he doesn't have to face the consequences of his (in)actions.

[@rustypotatoes]

always love hearing stories about your family mark ❤

[@vagrantmessiah]

Your brother sounds awesome and feel free to tell him, the way you told it his chill didn't break till the FAFO gauge filled up

[@mariavb8872]

Best wishes to your brother Mark❣👍 He did what he had to do👏👏👏 BRAVO👏👏👏

[@Denuhm]

No one can grieve a friendship in the click of a finger. Most of the time people have been grieving already for while and the incident just shifts their perspective on what the state of the friendship was.

[@holyek7892]

I'll understand people pleasing. Unless that makes bank why putting others ahead of oneself? The last story. Chef's kiss! Great story!

[@TheGreatPresenter]

I wish I had had the same kind of courage as Mark's brother when I was bullied at work. It was a long time ago but it still rankles.

[@sylviajones6745]

Mark, your brother is the BOSS! We need more people like him. I am so proud of your brother ❤

[@TheVeggiekat]

Op has a fiancé problem. Anyone who stands by and does nothing while someone they pretend to love is being abused does not love that person. The fiancé is showing his true colors and letting his friend be the weapon.

[@thehappyhouselife3943]

Mark, I LOVE when you sprinkle in stories related to your life

[@bobbievedvick9334]

Loved the story of your brother. My brother-in-law had a similar problem, but with his 7 year old daughter being bullied at school by a boy larger for his age and 2 years older than her. My BIL had had enough of it. It was escalating to the big kid throwing rocks at her and she'd come home with bruises, as well as clothes being muddied from being pushed down. Of course there were tears. When BIL talked to the teacher, followed by the Principal, the response was, "Kids will be kids, and in the end we encourage the kids to work it out." So BIL told his son, 2 years older than his sister, to take care of his sister at school. So the next day when the bully started in on sister, her big brother got 2 of his friends and they wrestled the bully down and dragged him into the middle of a big mud puddle. and left him there. Crying. THEN the school called, outraged, but my BIL exploded on them and told him this is how "kids handle it" and if his son is in trouble for protecting his sister from a bully they're going to deal with him in person, and he promises they'll never forget it. He finished with DO YOUR JOB! 😂🤣 I guess your brother was just "bantering" back, so the boss couldn't very well argue that, eh?

[@saralee6710]

My husband is very passive about most things, except me and the kids. I would have genuine fear for the person who brought me to tears in front of my hudband, and he is literally a bunny in most respects. Key points of marriage is mutual support, protection, and emotional safety. If your "fiance," doesn't offer that, he/she should not become your spouse. Also, my best friend is highly confrontational (though tiny), and no one would say anything to, or about me in her presence without risk of injury, so she may need to rethink her own friends as well. I have zero tolerance for harm to them as well. OP seems like she doesn't have total support from her SO, or BF, so I am unclear why she has either of them in those roles.

[@haroldvazquez]

Story 1: As a doctor, the fiance friend needs a fat lip with a high diet of knuckle sandwiches.

[@clarissagafoor5222]

AGAIN! so many people too busy to get their own 10cents worth of words to wait to the end of these stories! It's good to know that OPs partner looked after her so well - eventually!

[@FlamesofJagger]

Hey hey Mark, Poppy, and all the Waffle Gang!!! I hope everyone has an excellent week. Stay safe and positive. Much love🧇🤗🧡💛♥️❤️🩷💜💙💚🩵🤗🧇 Waffle 🧇 Gang 🧇Forever 🎉💯🎉💯

[@audreym3908]

That comment about alligators and kittens is spot on, although the only alligators I don't mind keeping are Soni and Chompers 😅

[@MADMadisson]

I loved your brother's story Mark. I had to listen to it twice cause it was so good. XD

[@Ospyro3em]

The "friend's" reaction was a result of letting him get away with it for too long. There's no excuse for people not speaking up sooner

[@jas6940]

It’s been so long since OP was taken care of fiancé gave her a trash can meatball and she’s eating it up like a five star steak 🤷‍♀️ But if fiancé is a ppl pleaser then this was a big step for him idk

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 1: OP says she's a "former people pleaser" but she's most definitely still one. I'd have told he can choose between me or his narcissistic bully disgusting friend. And the friend would get a good old threat of physical violence. I can't stand non confrontational people smh Edit: "He absolutely came through" oh my god he sent a text message, what a hero 🥺✊🏻🥺✊🏻 Edit 2: Your brother is amazing lol. I absolutely don't condone pointless violence, but many bullies only understand boundaries that way, so oh well 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@rodolfoleon4538]

Op fiancé needs therapy and I believe they need to go to couples Counsiling due to the fact that the fiance not stepping up earlier and deciding to put his band before op even to the extent she was willing to break up and was going through physical distress. Also what’s up with the fiancé calling his band a project that seems to not be going anywhere and is over 10 years old

[@charlottehancock76]

Ooh new upload to bring in and put away my shopping. Hi mark, i hope you're doing well

[@Dragonemperess]

Loki Alligator was an exception to the room of Aligators and kittens. R.I.P

[@johnwhite7842]

Love the story about your bro mark still smiling now👍🏻

[@peterhobson3262]

I would have taken the same sort of response as Mark's brother to the guy harassing him. In fact I have. But unlike Mark's brother I'm a small man, so some people think I'm an easier target. Soon enough the bullies find out that I'm not.

[@carrielankford4036]

Man your brother sounds like a cool guy. I admire that he was chill about it till he hit his limit.

[@bartvansliedregt5482]

Loved the brother story. Good on him

[@sourisvoleur4854]

Love your brother's story!

[@thesensationaladventuresof1150]

Mark! Thank you for the fab video, and for sharing a story of your own :) I wanted to say the 'tea boy' comments were not made because of your brothers intimidation factor. Or well, it's exactly that but also not. I think sometimes people are intimidated, and wanna push the boundaries, kinda like in Jurassic Park the dino's ram the fence to test the boundary? I think it's a lot like that, that guy making comments *was* intimidated, and was testing the boundaries.

[@Joffar]

People pleasing is often a cover for straight cowardice. Case in point.

[@madisonl3401]

I love it here ❤

[@NotTelling-i5y]

I was a hairdresser, I started in the late 70's and I was so grateful that we never had this problem but many apprentices did

[@catherinebrown6960]

your brother's situation... its a "show dominance to the biggest guy and everyone else will fall in line" case.

[@MGP2210]

I don't know what to say about story 01. As a teen, I struggled with bullies, but did not stand up for myself consistently. But I avoided association with my bullies. I did not start or continue a band with them. And I certainly would not quietly accept the mistreatment or disrespect of my family/close friend/gf/wife. 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@josephmbimbi]

i'm saying it every chance i get: having tendencies myself, people pleaser are NOT nice people, and just like in the story, it often involves dragging an unwilling third party in the mud with you. It's just enabling and turning a blind eye on toxic behaviour or abuse. It is toxic and should be called out and frown upon like any other toxic behaviour.

[@claytonfitzgerald782]

Thanks mate 😃

[@Dira7411]

Your brother sounds like me, use to get on anybody but have calmed down now but people have started taking my kindness for weakness so I’m converting back to my old ways atp 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Mark, thankyou for sharing your stories. Love them. This one reminded me of an instance when I was waiting tables. This guy in a group of 4 made a disgusting remark to me and I ended up dragging him across the table , slapped him then kicked him out! You don't mess with a Newfie women. Anyway, I got a huge tip thar night from the other three lol.

[@itscmznews180]

Story 1: Friendship reminds me of that movie Bully….

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

I feel like about 90% of the time claiming to be non confrontational is just an excuse to not have to do the right thing.

[@CodenameTurtle]

Okay but Mark's brother is the goat, if only I had self-respect like him