My Fiancee Screamed At Me For Holding My Womb Hostage r/Relationships

Relationship Reddit Stories OP
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[@jax422]

If a man tells you he can’t love a daughter, what makes you think he can love any woman including yourself?

[@Fingerscrossedout]

Spoiler: he can't. Had an ex that said exactly the same thing and let's just say that he wasn't a very nice person. I escaped that relationship and he got some other unfortunate soul pregnant and it's a daughter... Took a long time for me to not feel guilt for that poor woman and her baby....

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

This right here. So many males want wives but hate the idea of having a daughter

[@jakemarie828]

Right? A daughter should be the easiest "female" to love. The temper tantrums at the gender reveal videos should be kept as evidence for sole custody for these moms-to-be.

[@marcusbergman6116]

Ikr? If you can't love the person you brought to the world because it has/hasn't got a dick then you're not normal.

[@nadirimyers6643]

Exactly like where is his logic 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@leruetheday377]

In case anyone needs to see/hear/know this: *YOU CANNOT HOLD A PIECE OF YOUR OWN BODY HOSTAGE. IT'S YOUR BODY, NOT THEIR MACHINE*

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I thought that was going to be the worst part of the story but when he said if they had a girl he would not be able to love her as much, my mind was blown. There were no Red Flags about the OP's fiance, there was a big-ass RED BANNER that screamed, run away now and fast lol.

[@leruetheday377]

@@thomasjoseph5876 The fact he essentially threatened to rape her is also terrifying

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@leruetheday377 That dude is definitely the poster child for "DO NOT DATE OR MARRY". He will come across the "wrong woman" someday that will either kick his *ss all around the inside of the house and then throw him outside and do that same thing all around the yard or a woman with a very protective daddy/brother(s). Hell, my wife would leave him for dead if he said or even attempted any of the things he did to the OP. I'm 6'7" 265 lbs of all muscle with a lot of MMA Training and 4 deployments to Iraq and my 5'10" 135 lb wife can drop me to the ground at will and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it lol. She also is a high-level Blackbelt in 3 different Martial Arts so that probably helps her some lol.

[@leruetheday377]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Can I hire her to kick his ass?

[@kathleencostello5691]

​@@thomasjoseph5876 No Martial Arts needed when a wife can just act like a squirrel 😚

[@lisawhereisthecultjam]

She did not lose nine years. She is literally gaining the rest of her life. 29 is not too late by any stretch of the imagination.

[@andrew3224]

It is...she is currently 29. When she turn 30, she hits the wall.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

@@andrew3224 What wall? People can still get married and have kids past that point. What you're talking about is a myth made up to try and make women get married earlier in life. And even if there was a wall, do you think it's better to stay in a relationship with someone like the ex fiancee? I mean you can always adopt and live a comfortable life.

[@rogertaylor7433]

@@andrew3224 ...A lot of women are able to have children into their 40s...and children of older, more mature couples are usually better taken care of. 😉 Women actually become better partners as they age. They have learned what they like, and don't like in a relationship, and that's a major plus.

[@andrew3224]

@@untitled-gv3qp 30 is marriage. 35 is children without birth defects and diseases becoming the norm.

[@andrew3224]

@@rogertaylor7433 No. Not safely. After 35, it is geriatric pregnancy. That puts increased danger on a women's life during the pregnancy. Even if the birth is successful, the likelihood of serious life-long genetic diseases increase eventually becoming near guaranteed by 40. No child wants their parents to be mistaken for their grandparents. Having a child at 40, means that when you are 60, the child is 20.

[@tinycrimester]

lol, "after we're married you won't have a choice", even when said jokingly about something, is worrying. when it's yelled at you, it's an automatic dealbreaker!

[@Keyonne88]

Man said the quiet part out loud. Bye!

[@happilyevernever4289]

​@@Keyonne88 no man should ever think like that

[@amandab8433]

I've unfortunately seen the outcome of a female child who's father did not want a girl. Especially as a first child.

[@mistermeanial1690]

Ironically, my father didn’t want a boy. When I was born a boy, my father left my mother. 4 months after the divorce, he offered (in Liu of child support payments) to buy my older sister. That way he could have the girl and my mom could have the boy. She didn’t want me either, she just kept custody of me so he would have to pay more in child support. When I visited him once a month, I was kept in the basement while my sister was allowed to play outside. At home with my mom, I had to stay in my room once she got home from work. I’m now 50. I vowed to love my children regardless of gender and have done my absolute best to show them that they are loved. I have never understood how a parent can disown a child for anything, let alone the gender they arrived as

[@groggyowl6871]

​Mister Meanial I'm sorry you had to go through that dreadful experience. No child should be treated like a hindrance. It's wonderful that you decided to be a better parent than your own. I'm sure your children appreciate everything that you do for them.

[@littlegreycat]

“Once we’re married you won’t get a say”. Holy crap. Reddest Big Red red Flag the size of Texas. Don’t give in to the sunk cost fallacy.

[@kellyalves756]

It’s like a Cultural Revolution Marching Band full of waving red flags. Holy crap.

[@BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat]

Loved mention of "sunk fallacy"

[@meOW0131]

Story 1: that's hella scary. I'm so glad he basically gave her a headstart so she could runaway safely and without attachments.

[@bkep18]

is it just me or does that one feel fake.?? it feels too perfect and scripted and she seemed to get over him super fast

[@varishav271]

@@bkep18 It is not so strange for someone to get over a person quickly if that person does something rather shocking. I can remember the exact moment that all feelings for an ex just vanished because they decided it was okay to yell in my face. That big red flag ended the relationship and removed all attraction and good feeling that had been there only moments before.

[@tammygarrett8427]

@@bkep18 No as a Women I can say when you are done with a person and can not see any value in staying you are done.

[@James-sq4sc]

I’d beat my son’s ass if he talked about girls that way. I will not tolerate raising a rapist

[@ComaLies225]

Open marriage story: imagine asking your wife for an open marriage and then getting pressed when she finds someone who makes her feel good. I AM CACKLING. Edit: forgot to mention I love her brutality

[@DemonAngel]

Right? And I honestly believe she needs to either leave or agree and make a contract in all honesty. Seriously. And I believe he was trying to get her pregnant to make her "undesirable"

[@amberleeannalee1999]

This is our society and just a snap shot of misogyny that’s built in as a feature.

[@Keyonne88]

@@DemonAngel She needs to just leave. The only reason she's staying is because of the kids, it's very apparent. Statistically, this just causes resentment among the parents and it affects the kids poorly.

[@Bugretti]

Wasn't even brutal just honest

[@dananewman6608]

6:40 6:42 6:42 6:42

[@saralove9805]

If you can't love your kids, regardless of what gender they come out as.... DONT HAVE KIDS.

[@CatherineMcClain]

Yeeees! I have always said this!

[@an0rmalp3rson70]

FR FR

[@slayermoon666]

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@reeniem6398]

Husband didn’t want an open marriage, he wanted a free pass to sleep with other women while his wife stayed faithful - and because he didn’t think others would find his wife attractive because he didn’t. Total wake up call to realise his wife is attractive to other people. He’s hurt because this whole thing blew up in his face.

[@Ax-xo4ux]

The toy analogy was spot on- even if the commenter felt it was weird it was accurate

[@darsalome]

Story 1: It’s MEN and their genes that determine the baby’s gender. It’s basic science and there’s nothing women can do but maybe men can persuade their crotch frogs to only dispense boy tadpoles? 🤷‍♀️

[@rogertaylor7433]

If it didn't work for King Henry the Eighth, I don't see it working for any man...LOL

[@HealthyObbsession]

I’m so confused and concerned about how this fact isn’t more widely known

[@Midnight0Mistress]

@@HealthyObbsession Oh you know, ignorance. I'm sure most don't mean harm but some.....*sighs*

[@an0rmalp3rson70]

Ah shit, i gotta deal with a asshole boy if i want a child then

[@happilyevernever4289]

​@@HealthyObbsession the dude knows, but he was essentially telling OP that he'd force her to abort the baby if it was a girl.

[@ivorynk752]

1st story OP thought he wouldn't be able to relate to a potential daughter? Does that mean he can't relate to his wife? You're different genders, not different species. Yes, you might not get everything they are on about, you should still be able to interact with them as a person.

[@eliability]

I remember the first one. The switch up her s/o did was wild, thank god she got out of that. I don't get why parents think their child being the opposite gender means they can't bond the same tbh, it's weird and makes no sense. Bullet dodged. (also him threatening to assault her over *a hypothetical child's gender.* Literally disgusting. In no situation is it okay to do crap like this. Thank god OP's outta there.)

[@DD-jr3mq]

Because apparently some people can only have romantic or sexual relationship with the opposite gender, so for them platonic love and friendship is unheard of. This speaks wether you see them as full human beings or just sex objects. It's just sexism IMO

[@ImLasu]

Dating 9 years person she know nothing about - it would be hard to find someone more crazy. 🤔

[@untitled-gv3qp]

@@DD-jr3mq That's definitely a factor here considering he called her used up, broke some of her things, and tried to steal her game system.

[@kimberlycarrigan8824]

If he can't bond with a girl, how did he bond with his girlfriend?

[@jakemarie828]

@@ImLasu are you... calling OP crazy? Cuz that would be wacky

[@ZekeorSomething]

Story 1: Op should leave that guy he's crazy

[@Konachn4ever]

Right, what the fuck, WDYM HOLDING MY WOMB HOSTAGE, I should think so especially after he said he wouldn't love a Girl as much, marriage DOESN'T entitle you to Sex or procreation so she doesn't have to share her womb even with her Husband!😒

[@WobblesandBean]

OP is right, if she'd stayed, he would have killed her. I can totally see him throwing her down a flight of stairs if she got pregnant with a girl.

[@notiddymothbirlfriend]

And also tell literally everyone every single thing he said to her because wow he needs to be on some kind of watchlist. Idk what kind, but definitely at least one of them.

[@dionysus_adores]

Yeah not to mention he implied he'll force her. Gezz what a creepy man, if you can call him a man.

[@LilySaintSin]

I heard this before. She did.

[@taylorslade961]

Story 1: I remember this one. I'm so heckin glad OP got away. People like her ex should absolutely never ever reproduce.

[@HealthyObbsession]

Here’s to hoping he never does

[@SilverMaychan]

He is so very creepy.

[@low-keydrama1260]

Story 1: I bet u that guy was so confident OP wouldn’t end it because “we’re already gonna get married and been together for a long time, so she won’t back out”. Thank goodness he showed his true colors.

[@SavvyGirl751]

Yep, most narcissist/sociopaths don’t drop the mask like that until after you are married and at least pregnant with the first child. He thought 9 years and a public engagement was enough. Good for her. Unfortunately, for the next person he dates he is going to be worse.

[@carlrood4457]

To put it in crude terms, it isn't about love or even sex. It's about conquest. He had the wife and kids, so he'd won and became bored. The other women were "new worlds" to conquer. When his wife started seeing someone else, he was "losing territory", so he had to reconquer it. There are some people who need a challenge to be interested in something.

[@happilyevernever4289]

A relationship is not a game. 😑😑

[@sleepingkirby]

story 1: My wife was married to, what I only describe as, man-child. He got jealous of her hugging mascots at amusement parks. He got jealous of her going out with female friends. At some point, he just stopped showering or bathing. He also claimed a lot of weird rights to her body. Nothing this extreme but still creepy and delusional. He also was abusive. Not physically hitting, but gripping her so hard that she bruised, threw heavy objects at her. Every once in a while (like once every other day or so), she'll just turn to me and say "Have I told you today how much I love you?" Any women reading this, you deserve better. No one owns a part of your body. You can't hold your womb hostage, that's not a thing. Here are some things to look for. 1) A man doesn't feel cooking (not just grilling) is just for women. Rather, feels that cooking is for anyone that needs to eat. 2) Is okay with doing things with child care like changing the diaper, feeding, carrying the baby or baby bag. 3) He takes joy in your happiness. 4) Has sincere/deep interests that he loves sharing with you even if it's weird or dorky or hard to understand. 5) Sees you as a sentient, intelligent being. Not as an NPC or someone with no opinions or views of their own. These aren't pie-in-the-sky expectations. They're basic definitions. If your partner lacks any of these, please take a second look at your relationship.

[@nakamichael7218]

Something that just occurred to me listening to story 1 regarding the “I’ll have wasted 9 years of my life for nothing” bit: OP, You didn’t waste those 9 years. HE wasted YOUR 9 years.

[@mdlizzy]

Just because you wasted 9 years of your life doesn’t mean you should waste the rest of your life as well.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Duh, SHE DONT WANT TO LEAVE HIM AND USING THE YEARS WASTING AN EXCUSE, LOOK HOW MANY OF US USED SCHOOL. TEEN, YOUNG ADULTS YEARS NOT DOING THE RIGHT THING BUT WE LEARN FROM IT AND DID BETTER, IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE OR STAY IN YOUR MARRIAGE JUST STAY OR TRY AND SAVE IT, BUT STOP MAKING DUMB A** EXCUSE TO WHY YOU SHOULD STAY, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

[@happilyevernever4289]

​@@jeanetteporter8114 it's not an excuse. It's more of an inkling to the emotional abuse and manipulation that asshole did to OP to keep her with him for so long. OP did say she is not great with confrontation. So it makes sense why she didn't see all the red flags before until now.

[@carlrood4457]

The biggest red flag was after finding out she was married, he maintains a friendship with her. If he really objected to cheating, he'd have at least only contacted her about work matters.

[@slayermoon666]

And he allowed the disrespect how would he like it if it was done to him

[@grecia3146]

Story 1: That was a not a red flag. That was a red alarm explosion.

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

Ugh, 99% of these "I want an open marriage" things should just break up instead. They just want sanctioned cheating. If they were treating you like crap before the suggestion, they aren't going to suddenly become enlightened and love you.

[@rubymeaddle]

Most people in happy open relationships don't post about it online lmao

[@lynettephillip2412]

If anyone asks me to have an open marriage, I will feel insulted. I respect myself to much for that! That is just me.

[@alexw.7097]

Totally agreed, I'm All For consensual Non-manogamy if it's being done right, but these people who are trying to open their marriage because they are miserable with their spouses are just trying to avoid divorce.

[@ladyv5655]

​@@lynettephillip2412 , the correct answer is , "We can both have sex with whoever we want because we are going to divorce."

[@samurailevi49]

I love how he would get mad and love his daughter less when it’s *HIM* who decides the gender of the baby.

[@bessevaraven859]

He doesn't decide. It's a random genetic roulette wheel

[@that.ll_do_pig]

​@@bessevaraven859you know what they mean. The male genetics determine biological sex

[@happilyevernever4289]

​@@bessevaraven859 no, the X and Y of the gender comes from the guy. So by virtue, he really does decide. The mom can only ever supply an X chromosome, so that doesn't really decide the gender.

[@protojager]

If you ever find yourself in a shitty situation/abusive relationship... Don't be afraid to completely blow the relationship up. Tell everyone how bad they were, absolutely do not protect their image or relationship with others because they WILL use it against you.

[@Fingerscrossedout]

I did the same with my ex, I messaged everyone that they shouldn't give anything away about me from him and I got super paranoid. He tried to wiggle his way inside the friend group, but since so many already knew what he did they rejected him. until... he found one of the addicted outcast member and fed him drugs so he could walk into parties where I was and would snoop on me, totally brainwashed to believe my ex... It was insane but I am so glad I stayed low and just went no contact with him. My life is so much better now than it was ever before or during him.

[@jam2727]

@@jackchop1576 Not to be that person but its weird you specified women, almost as if you don't recognize men can be victims in abusive relationships as well. Like you went out of your way to say "us women" instead of "we" or anything else, kinda strange

[@pauldavisjr.3284]

It always boggles my mind how these dudes decide to open up their marriages trying to get themselves some strange not realizing that it's loads easier for her to get sexual partners. Dude freaked around and found out.

[@lilfairykiki122]

Story 2: to the comment saying it was OPs husbands job to shut HERS parents down, NO! It’s her job! He wouldn’t have to deal with this mess if he wasn’t with her. She should go ho contact with them at this point because even if their son was the worst person alive ( which i don’t think he is) it wouldn’t be normal to behave this way.

[@calebmatthews7268]

He also needs to shut them down and remove the argument of "he has no problem with it."

[@jessicaricker921]

Girl run. After I got married to my first husband, he told me that the bible said my body belongs to him, I don't get to say no. I know you don't want to believe he would force it, but I didn't want to believe it either. And guess what? Yup. I nearly killed myself because my husband constantly attacked me. DO NOT STAY

[@crazyweirdgirl115]

I’m so sorry you went through that. It sounds like you got away from him? Glad that pig is nowhere near you now!

[@jessicaricker921]

@@crazyweirdgirl115 I did! Been 5 years. Now I'm married to the man who was my best friend for years and I have an almost 2 year old son. Life is so much better!

[@LisaApril]

Story about the woman who is divorcing her husband after nine months: The soon to be ex had a lot of pretty words when he wrote in the post. But his actions were very ugly, Unloyal, and not loving. His dirty actions spoke louder than his pretty words and I’m very glad that his wife was able to tell the difference. The husband should’ve never entertained his flings texts.

[@Deviczek]

For me it seems like women just don't understand and don't want to understand men but expect to be understood, always. If it was him saying she can't have male friend he would've been marked as controlling and jealous, that's just hypocrisy. While I personally don't believe in platonic friendship between genders I think they do, and he didn't seem to hide texts and protect his phone with his life, didn't show any cheater behaviour.

[@sitnspin1819]

@@Deviczek You're judging platonic friendships between genders by your own inability to have friends of the opposite sex. One of my closest mates is a bloke. Recently got married to a lovely woman who is only just realising her potential. His wife just got her first children's book published, which? CHUFFED TO BITS! I was the editor for it! Seeing my pal so happy is awesome and she's slowly becoming a very good mate, too. Men and women absolutely can be friends.

[@Deviczek]

@@sitnspin1819 I never tried, just don't believe in it, men are opportunistic by nature and that's the issue, women don't understand men, only way a guy can be friends with one is maybe when she's a tomboy(sharing typical men intrest)and ugly beyond comprehension, but maybe even then stuff might happen.

[@sitnspin1819]

@@Deviczek You're projecting your own traits onto others. You're holding other people to your own level.

[@Deviczek]

@@sitnspin1819 its nature

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

I just feel like there’s something between we don’t glorify teen pregnancies and I’m going to disown you for a teen pregnancy. Like, it happens and that sucks, but no one is glorifying it. And tbh, that OP can feel proud of their culture all they want, but they’re also disowning their child because they feel shame and idk that that’s an better.

[@pupperpalace9889]

Thank you! That is what I was thinking! The parents really went from 1 to 11 with the "were disowning her" and "she is not our daughter" stuff. Like, are you trying to get your daughter to hate you and want to prove you wrong out of spite? Because that is how you do it!

[@spicymayo8950]

Open marriage story: I love that she’s brutal, but I do think she needs to leave him. I think people don’t realize that she’s not staying for the kids, but she is staying for herself. She is staying because she wants to live her life the way it was before. She doesn’t realize yet that it will never be that way again. He thinks of her as an object, and even though it’ll hurt, it’s important to teach your children that treating your spouse as an object isn’t okay.

[@jay2thaudy]

She's a clown. She was all bad ass in the beginning but started walking that shit back as soon as husband pretended to care.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Thank you Thank you, I am so sick of the lame excuse staying for the kids, bs, and they know it is, it is a easy excuse because they still love and want the cheater

[@alloriavarner8304]

The marriage is a fricken train wreck. She said something in one of the updates. Something how she wants to live her life she wants it with her family being happy. Her husband is not happy. Whole things is his fault & he’s POS but now he’s compromising cause he doesn’t want to divorce so now hes gonna spend however long left they have miserable. What happy life is she talking about? Marriage doesn’t work like that where one calls the shots. You both have to be in agreement. You both need to work to find common ground. What the hell is she teaching her children? My mind is swimming with the ridiculousness of this & her choices. Smh…

[@syrusorelio2309]

Switch story, people are completely glossing over the added gact that saves are saved only to the switch and not the SD card, unless his fiance bought nintendo online sub and setup cloud saves those saves are GONE and even if she set up cloud backup saves at least 51 games don't allow cloud backup, such as anything pokemon, splatoon, etc. So unless they can get back that specific switch and it hasn't already been wiped she could have lost hundreds to thousands of hours of gameplay as an avid gamer I've played most of my games a minimum of 1 hour to a max of 675 Average number of hours in a big game is 100-300 and average for snake games is 10-20 hours I'd be fuming in finances shoes

[@nicolestrong8600]

If you continue listening...he makes it clear his finances are not her business but when she shows up with a switch...her finances are his business. Why is it his business where or how she afforded what she purchased. That relationship is based off double standards, and control.

[@MovableNu]

Story 1: Why can I almost guarantee ex-fiancé went out - at his big age - and found ANOTHER 19 year old to pull into his orbit? But only if he can suss out she had a crappy home life and is an incredible people pleaser with no sense of personal boundaries 😬😬😬

[@MrMonochromatic]

With the Switch story, losing save files hurts. The saves are kept on the console, not the SD. She didn't have the chance to back her compatible saves up on the cloud or her screenshots.

[@ennis3507]

This story got me the most upset. 😂 He was oblivious to her point of view. I hope she leaves him. Man child.

[@madalice5134]

​@@ennis3507 That story is so upsetting. I love my Switch and have hundreds of hours in various games. If anything happened to it, that would be years of my life and memories just gone. The guy isn't mature enough to be getting married. He's a selfish, hypocritical man baby. I'm sad that she lost data and screenshots. His update is even more infuriating. She's better off without this jerk.

[@Mrs.Self.Distruct]

To feel X amount of time is wasted on a partner usually tells just that and not another minute should be given to them.

[@LadyJuse]

Better to waste your life on nothing than to waste it on abuse.

[@diamcole]

3:37 This made me emotional. Really dope to see other women show up for OP in this way and give her some sound guidance.

[@sleepingkirby]

The switch story: Is OP's name internet explorer? Cause his reactions always seems to be late. "She left her engagement ring and left. I'm afraid she's going to leave me."

[@WobblesandBean]

I remember when the second story happened. It's kinda messed up OP took so long to FINALLY protect her poor, long-suffering husband from her wretched parents, but I'm glad she at least got a clue before she lost him for good.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

The wife in the open relationship story is delusional. Lol I would take divorced parents over that dysfunction every time. Also blaming the entirety of western society for you having an idiot for a child is hilarious.

[@kixi8033]

The misogynistic teenager story is exactly why my son won't be allowed on the internet unmonitored when he is a teen.

[@rebeccavaughn8897]

First story: When someone tells you who they are, believe them. Get away from this dangerous man.

[@nadirimyers6643]

Lol story 1: if she’s “used up”…. what is he? I’m so glad she left

[@starbird3939]

Open Marriage The person who asks this often wants to just eat his cake and still have their emotional sexual pet. But the moment their other partner actually does look at other people, the dude get mad. Just divorce.

[@draconicfeline6177]

She needs to get out of the situation, she's been scammed into a marriage.

[@nadirimyers6643]

As a child that wished her parents divorced… my brother and I are both pissed they stayed together for us. I can guarantee that if op parents stayed together for her she would have wished they would just divorce too. I actually at 25 years old kinda resent my mom for not leaving earlier but I’m working on that

[@jeanetteporter8114]

I felt like that with my parents, mom left him then let him back in, within a month the fighting started again, we had peace for the first time in 17 years

[@eliability]

(Story 2) Wowza where did OP's son learn that? That's so messed up and he's gonna grow up to be a real pos if OP can't stop this crap now. Can't wait to hear "My son was arrested, what do I do?" He's old enough to know it's not okay, he's a pos and you can't use the "He's young, he doesn't know any better!" because he does. He DOES know better he just refuses to understand that this is NOT okay. And sometimes it isn't even always someone else's influence. I myself have grown many strong opinions on my own after I saw something I felt impacted me. OP's son disgusts me.

[@WobblesandBean]

I'm pretty sure that's story 3, but yeah, OP's son is nine kinds of disgusting. Sad thing is, when the story first posted, a lot of MGTOW types were speaking up both on youtube and on the reddit post. I myself got a huge essay from one about how feminists are a poison on society and everything men suffer from is our fault. 🤦🏼‍♀️ It just goes to show how prevalent that kind of venomous, woman-hating mindset is on the internet. It's no wonder the kid got pulled into that ridiculous incel logic.

[@elevin8858]

My emotionally abusive ex left me with constant worries about my own worthlong after I finally opened my eyes and left. Hoping op1 gets back her self worth.

[@kbf9644]

My parents divorced when I was 5. They got back together briefly in my late 20s. Everyone was miserable for a year and a half because they were right to get divorced the first time. I get why OP is staying as long as possible. Her kids. Yet Hubs has already been emotionally manipulating the kids and using them as weapons. OP is probably up for the fight and sees through his crap but the kids aren’t and won’t. I’m hoping if that continues and/or escalates OP won’t let him harm the kids in her effort to protect them. 😔

[@jeanetteporter8114]

OP IS STAYING BECAUSE SHE STILL WANT THE MARRIAGE

[@contractwolf6669]

Story 2: op didn't even mention the fact that they didn't give a shit if she went to Christmas as long as her husband wemt

[@Kati_P]

You know what's worse than wasting 9 years with a misogynistic a-hole? Wasting 10+ years. Life's too short to spend with someone who sees girl-children as lesser and who has admitted he will force you to have boy-children if you have girls first. Keep all the evidence you have of his bad behavior for a few years, just in case he focuses his anger on you again when his life goes down the toilet in the future. A restraining order would also be a good idea, considering his level of toxicity.

[@tamicablanding]

Married coworker- how is his wife all he thinks about but he talks to the coworker more than twice a day???

[@carlrood4457]

16 And Pregnant, like the vast majority of "Reality TV" is the modern day version of the carnival sideshow. It's so "normies" can watch the "freaks" and feel good about themselves. People watch so they can say, "At least my life isn't that bad." The problem is that the sideshow would always move on to the next town, but Reality TV gets mixed in with celebrity culture (actors, singers, athletes, etc.) They're also severely scripted and edited to make everything more dramatic. There used to be a show, "Big Brother After Dark" which pretty much just showed the live feed. Just people sitting around, working out, having quiet conversations, reading, etc. It showed how life is 99% boring.

[@chelseaallen8927]

The open marriage story: I want to sympathize with op, but she's choosing to stay with that piece of garbage of a "husband".

[@muhname6052]

Right? Plus one of her reasons to stay is so she can fulfill her childhood dream of having a two parent household.

[@ladyv5655]

One day her children will ask her why she stayed with that narcissistic loser and will be angry when she says she did it for them.

[@a.n4031]

​@@muhname6052 Yes! She has such a distorted view on divorce. I feel like she's such a fool

[@crafteuphoria3608]

For the 2 br apartment story, my FOUR kids and I had to live in a dbl Queen hotel room for almost a year before finding an open rental that I could afford. I certainly didn’t go yelling at other people for having better circumstances than we did and making unreasonable demands. She sounds super entitled and rude. 3rd month in the new 4 bedroom house and we are so elated to finally have more space. Being bitter and angry about what life throws at you is not going to help and will only make everyone else around you miserable. Learn to deal and just make it work as best you can until something better comes along.

[@alexw.7097]

21:49 I feel bad that I find this a little funny? "Those damn therapists ruined my parenting!" Mom could really use some help, but kudos to all of the kids for staying strong and growing past how she treated them

[@hillsideparanormal780]

If you tell a married man his wife cheated after he contacted you to find out what happened, and he offers to buy you a drink. Yeah he is thinking divorce. 1+1=2

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

That's why you need to talk about the big things at the start of a relationship. Not victim blaming but a good piece of advice for all young women. Get them to expose themselves early on

[@fionna_cool_girl]

Look, as a woman if I were to ever have a child, especially a daughter I'd be nervous but still love my son and daughter the same. It's just scary and I dread the day that I'd have to tell my daughter about her period. I think it's more to do that I feel so bad about what she has to endure for almost the rest of her life and I can't do anything to take her pain away and the struggles of dealing with pads, tampons, pain, nausea, potential accidents, preparing for it, etc. I know being a parent is scary in general but this, even as a woman terrifies me, however I will do my best to love and explain it to my daughter what's going on with her the best I can. I've even discussed it with my boyfriend that said if we were to have a daughter and son, he'd do everything in his power to make sure they both understand what goes on during a period. My boyfriend was raised with 2 brothers but no sisters so it wasn't until he started dating me did I explain it to him and all the pain and troubles that comes with a period. I thought it was so mature of him to say that he'd step up to tell both our children what happens during that time if I was too nervous to do it. This guy in the first story is just disgusting. It's important for a daughter to have a dad in her life that doesn't judge her for being on her period. Whenever it was my time of the month and I'd be sick, my dad would ask "are you okay honey? Do you need a heating pad? Tylenol? Advil?" And he'd always tell me that if I was having any troubles during the time of the month, to just let him know. He set an example that talking about periods to men should be perfectly okay and the fact my boyfriend was comfortable with me talking about it to him as well was so mature. We need more men to be willing to discuss and be comfortable with understanding what happens during the time of the month.

[@kimberlycarrigan8824]

Just raise your daughter always knowing about her period from before she can even talk and it won't be an issue. Have her bring you your pads and help you unwrap them when she's a toddler. Talk about it casually all the time. It will just be a boring everyday post of life. Dreading it isn't fair to her. She deserves to be happy and excited about life.

[@fionna_cool_girl]

@@kimberlycarrigan8824 I mean... periods really aren't exciting or fun at all but I get what you're saying

[@JackTheBlindOrganistAndCrepey]

My mom was very transparent about periods. Not the anatomy or sexual aspects of it, only the fact that if you're biologically a female you will bleed. It was wild seeing how kids my age back then was overly disturbed when that got theirs without being informed about it's existence. Please don't be that kind of parent.

[@LS-bb9qh]

I remember this story. Frustrating, kids will notice how their dad treats their mom. So happy my parents divorced.

[@draconicfeline6177]

I love the one where the STBX tries to defend himself. He's trying to gaslight reddit, it's amazing. What a tool.

[@sherryflanigan7680]

What in the Lannister is going on! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂!!! Oh my God! I laughed so freaking hard at that! I even had to call my husband and tell him. That's one of the greatest comments I've ever heard about incest! 😂🤣😂🤣

[@cassitathomas4359]

This one made me laugh so much 😅😅😅😅😅 thanks

[@TDArulesclub4]

Open Marriage story: Wow, what a train wreck. I want to say Everyone Sucks because 1) why is the wife staying with someone who actively destroys a kitchen/plates when they're angry and clearly doesn't care about his children and uses them as mere manipulation tactics? I love how brutal she got after giving her POS partner an ultimatum but the whole marriage recipe is a clear outline for future divorce. These open marriage stories are always the same: The one that suggested it first only wanted an excuse to mess around knowing or having an IDEA their partner won't, and the moment their partner is doing the exact same thing they are, suddenly they want to close the marriage out of fear of losing their control over them. Just gross. Those poor children are going to pick up what's happening and get the wrong wrong message on how marriage is actually suppose to be like.

[@draconicfeline6177]

Yeah. She's a fool and not a particularly good person herself.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Neither parent need the kids, both are cruel parents, thinking about what is between their legs instead of the kids, why have them? Oh oh so we can play the perfect family lie bullcrap etc,

[@jm1670]

If she had a bigger family, she shouldn't have moved into a 1 bedroom. NTA. She is insane.

[@missamanda2703]

Omg the open marriage idea. Always a marriage ender. He is my advice on open marriage. Absolutely as long as the one suggesting it let's the other spouse have a date first. I have never not seen a husband/wife back pedaling or flat out say nope divorce.

[@bessevaraven859]

Actually open marriages DO work but they take work, respect and communication.

[@gottathinkupanewone]

Story one: Holding your womb hostage? I think you're looking out for your future, and the life of any child you may have. If he's this awful, you don't want to have any child with him at all, either gender.

[@Rjshadow11]

"What in the Lannister is going on here?" 🤣🤣

[@James-sq4sc]

Horrifying. And if a man doesn’t want a daughter because he can’t ‘relate’ to her, he either doesn’t want to try or is incapable and shouldn’t be anywhere near girls. Either way, he’s garbage and a lost cause. Run away

[@wisebumblebee]

Open relationship story, OP is so intent on portraying divorce as the worst thing imaginable, she's completely ignoring the absolute shitshow she's turned her family into. People typically recover from divorce, nobody is gonna recover from the nightmare OP created for a very long time.

[@tigernotwoods914]

Story 1: leave that loser. He’s no good at all. 2:15

[@ZekeorSomething]

Agreed

[@atamalethatwantstotalk5177]

Loser is an understatement

[@tigernotwoods914]

@@atamalethatwantstotalk5177 oh you’re right. I was being PG-13

[@lina9535]

Dude selling the Switch claiming their finances are their own, then presses the fiancé about how she got the new Switch is sending me into a fit of rage-filled laughter. Dude is beyond stupid and hypocritical

[@krystalfloods6197]

I bet if genders were revered on the switch story the comments would be different. It was HIS. He sold it to pay the rent. It was his choice. And everyone bringing up how he kept hounding her about the switch she bought… That’s because he literally said in the beginning that they live paycheck to paycheck and they do not have money at all, which would mean she doesn’t have money and had no way to buy that so of course he would assume she used rent money. Unless there’s more going on and that was the last straw, I think the girlfriends behavior was absolutely ridiculous.

[@DeeL-u1c]

Story one: you know it's bad when OP admits she thought he would have killed her if she stayed with him.

[@carlrood4457]

I suspect OP's people pleaser tendencies are the result of the older brother's conflicts with parents growing up. She didn't want the same treatment and act so that they'd "love" her. It's really weird that they don't seem to consider her their daughter at all. Christmas with OP, no problem. Christmas without Jeff. "You can't keep our 'son' away from us."

[@vetaroberts3333]

He didn’t want you to have another partner, just him

[@chetarisin3035]

Switch story is definitely not the asshole. His switch. His right to sell. He Did keep the SD card for her specifically when she gets one of her own. Sometimes you got to do what you don't like to make rent. That's life. And life isn't fair

[@beast11135]

How the heck do you not talk about kids In 9 years? Nah, him hiding those condos for so long means he knew It was wrong. He was already emotionally cheating.

[@mewlover2482]

Why the heck does part of this story sound like an ex of mine? Dude said he wanted twins, wanted kids, etc. But said he'd not love a daughter as much for pretty much the same reasons. Also said he dreamed about me being with twins.

[@brionnajoose8540]

Story 1: 1 how do you get 9 years deep into a relationship and just be having the kid planning conversation 2 girl leave not worth it he doesn't see you as a partner you're an incubator with legs for his use

[@franciebelcher4594]

Any one catch that the 17 yr girl never mentioned love? Her reasoning was she didn't want to be an old mom.! This child is ridiculous and I feel sorry 4 all her future kids

[@magnoliamagpie1151]

The Italian incest story: I would have struggled to not send him "Sweet Home Alabama" after he asked why they were breaking up. I'd have also told the parents. I'm not above going scorched earth on someone so disgusting.

[@lilbeegamer]

The story about OP wanting a divorce after her husband wouldnt stop texting the girl he fucked once before the relationship: I've been there. If he REFUSES to stop being her friend because it threatens the relationship, run. Leave him. Dont tolerate that. Leave him.

[@kamicokrolock]

Story 1: RUN! do not pass go. do not collect $200. Get out now.

[@ChrisTheOnly]

Funny comment considering the switch story later. Hehe

[@lianabaddley8217]

When I was dating my now hubby then boyfriend. We talked about kids. He jokingly said if we have a girl we'll just stick her back in and send her back up. Cuz you know that's how it works. When we did finally get pregnant. When he saw the ultra sound he started having problems sleeping at night. Didn't tell me why but later said he started thinking about how to be a Good Dad. When my labor started and we went into the hospital. His 1st responsibility was to follow the Baby wherever she went. So we left the hospital with the Baby we came in with. He followed the nurse to the other side of the room while she cleaned her up, put her in the crib thing. He put his hands down on the edge and leaned down to get a better look. She reached up and grabbed hold of 1 of his fingers. And that was it. Like she reached in and grabbed his heart. He was still nervous about being a Good Dad. But not about being a Dad to a baby girl. He's been an Excellent Father to all 3 (2 girls 1 boy) of our children. He was talking to 1 of his cousins who also has 1 boy and 2 girls. She asked, have you ever just thought I wish I never had kids? Don't you just hate being a parent? He said no. We both actually Like All our kids. Not just "love" them because we had them. She was very surprised. We have never thought she was a "good mom". It's very sad for the kids.

[@lisemartino1995]

Sweety, met my now husband when I was 30, married at 31, baby number 1 born 9 months later………been happily married for 37 years!

[@treehouse2902]

He wouldn't want to love a daughter. The truth is that he sounds like he wouldn't be able to love anyone.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 1: _RUN._

[@jennisapir9991]

1st story: I ALWAYS repeat to myself and everyone around me that I can choose my husband but my future kids can’t choose their father… so please ladies lets be careful who we mate with

[@Sevness]

That last story is kind of funny, can't decide if he was trying to come back to get more perfume, or if he was hoping for another date to give the perfumes back and pretend nothing happened.

[@VictoriaMorganawesometori]

The soon to be ex, he also conveniently leaves out he's been working and texting this woman without the wife's knowledge for FIVE YEARS. Thats not a small thing you just forget to mention. And hes trying to play dumb and people aren't falling for it.

[@SapphWolf]

Teen Pregnancy Story: I had a cousin who deliberately got pregnant as a Sophomore in high school because her best friend found out she had gotten pregnant. The two of them thought it would be so cool if they were best friends and their children were the same age and also best friends. Literally no planning went into it beyond that. Everyone tried to talk her out of it, but she went behind everyone's back and did it anyways. She wasn't even dating anyone at the time so im pretty sure she just got woth some random guy at her school. Not super close with that side of the family so not sure hownthat all worked out, but it was pretty nuts.

[@bigmeatball8674]

Open marriages are disastrous to a marriage. All trust gets lost.

[@carlrood4457]

I'm suspecting that OP and "friend" may not be currently cheating, but each is the other's "backup".

[@Endonia-ym3sl]

The open marriage story is just doomed for failure.

[@socketyellow3]

The story around 52:00, op really should have mentioned his wife slept with a stranger the first day. Because you know that’s not her first time if she is so confident to sleep with a new guy day one

[@adamryan977]

Wait a moment their own son was still alive, while they were trying to replace him with their daughters husband. I thought he died tragically and they had an unhealthy way to cope with their lost. Hell no that's just a new level of assholery

[@Keyonne88]

Story #1; he showed you who he really was and dropped the mask. Believe him - leave.

[@TrulyAGhost]

I had my daughter by an abuser. I am so glad he is not allowed near my babygirl. And I thanks God everyday for that

[@lucyann1573]

The Switch one... He literally updated saying it turned out she DID spend the rent money on buying a new Switch after he sold HIS property to make rent money. So now she's run away leaving him high and dry on the rent and all these commenters are cheering her on. Yeah. You go, girl 🙄

[@anneduggan1014]

You think you’ve wasted nine years…..what about your future????? What about your possible daughter’s life!!!!!