My First Date Went So Wrong And I Insulted Her Family Due To The Pressure r/Relationships

[@peteranon8455]

Story 1. As an introvert, I can very honestly say I'd excuse myself for a smoke and simply leave the girl with her family.

[@kaykay8855]

Me too. I would have come up with an excuse since her family was all up in his face.

[@ImaginaryCyborg]

My thoughts precisely. I can't stand being the center of attention of a group of people, especially if they "test" me like that. If I get so much as a whiff of such a thing happening, I storm away like the house is on fire, and I don't care what anyone thinks of me after.

[@katrinschirmer8018]

my husband introduced me to his family all at once, but we had been dating for a while before that, he basically did that after deciding he wanted to marry me. if someone I had just met did this to me, I would want to disappear too. a room full of strangers is a nightmare.

[@LayfonDragnia]

I’m really missing the “comedic gold” aspect of this story. The family was creepy and the date showed she was more than willing to stomp boundaries with no hesitation. I got cult vibes from the family. Edit after update: I don’t think a 2nd date should be considered. The “Do you hate me that much?” text is hella manipulative. The dad’s behavior can somewhat be explained but what about the rest of the family? At least the mother is sane.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

It really is creepy, it’s like the start of some horror movie like House of 1000 Corpses or something. You have someone that’s a complete stranger taking OP to meet their quirky, over enthusiastic family, and after a somewhat normal getting-to-know-you phase it spirals into something more serious.

[@npetfan8309]

One of us ,one of us, one of us.

[@SkyEcho751]

I think the "Comedic Gold" is that it sounds almost like it was out of a romcom, or just a straight up comedy sketch, the only thing missing is the laugh track. Which is why it felt creepy. It sounds like the mother is the only person who has any level of sanity. The rest of them were treating him like he was a boyfriend of like a year or 2, which is NOT normal at all. Wouldn't be surprised if the guy who said "I've been where you are" thought so too, and thought he was just talking to a nervous but long term BF and not a guy on his first date.

[@agingophelia9812]

@Sam Foley Agreed. This girl needs therapy before she can be good in a relationship.

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

@@npetfan8309 …gooble gobble! Lol. I’ve gotta watch that movie again now.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Oh my god, girl tried to speedrun an entire relationship. If she kept it up they would’ve been married on day 2, buy a house together on day 3, and have a baby by the end of the week.

[@telinhajp]

I think it's heading to it.

[@ivorynk752]

Does she think real life is like the Sims?

[@dionysus_adores]

Yeah op Dodged a major bullet decorated with tons of red flags

[@telinhajp]

@@dionysus_adores But he's already saying the spark is back, he sees her every week, accompany her to her car, and he's probably going to have tea with her... Next update will be: "We got married and are pregnant".

[@dionysus_adores]

@@telinhajp yeah the whole family except for mom seems insane. No one questioned it except for mom. Personally I wouldn't date her.

[@someanon1984]

Honestly this OP's reaction is COMPLETELY understandable. I know he regrets the way that he acted but it was actually entirely appropriate for that totally inappropriate situation.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Yep, and without it the girl might have continued to do it with other dates.

[@Rhaenarys]

Agreed. I feel bad for him. He did nothing wrong but feels like he did.

[@Xaldarus]

1 of my first days the girl took me to her house and we watched the first Star Trek remake with Chris Pine and the mom was telling me all about Star Trek and Easter eggs as if I had never heard of it before, was super awkward for sure.

[@videofan1010]

Her family is insane - good Lord.

[@Mr.andMrs.Smith_0420]

Agreed. It needed to be said, harsh or not, sometimes you have to be assertive with pushy people like this.

[@yggdrasil1969]

Am I the only one who thinks her "Do you hate me too much to talk to me?" text when he didn't immediately respond was another huge red flag? Seem emotionally manipulative to me.

[@LayfonDragnia]

Yeah, same for me. Another flag for the parade.

[@margaritap.9459]

Yes, exactly! Same, with getting info on the yoga and going to the same classes. Big yikes!

[@demonheart13]

If it sounds like something my mother would text, then it's a red flag

[@ondank]

I really hate when reddit tries to backtrack. "What she did was bat crap crazy and horrifically naive" and "if you think she has genuinely learned a lesson, give her a second chance" can both be true. The first comments were absolutely correct. It was crazy and it wasn't small crazy. Just because she learnt from the experience doesn't invalidate the previous statement.

[@SnowyWolborg]

r/AITA tends to give women the benefit of the doubt, assuming that there was no ill intention. But, there is absolutely no excuse for this. Most normal people wait months before introducing someone to their family. But she throws him into what's essentially a family reunion with this many people in his face? How the hell was he supposed to act?

[@kausha7135]

Thank you! Exactly! She was running a red flag factory.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Huh 💀 Who in their right mind would bring a first date in an environment like this WITHOUT TELLING SAID DATE? This is hilariously stupid. Op didn't even say anything wrong. She did skip steps, it was a red flag for the family or her to not give the two privacy. Im not calling her evil or anything but damn this is a hell of a fuck up

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Yeah, while the guy messed up, the girl shouldn't have done this in the first place.

[@Fingerscrossedout]

@@DrawciaGleam02 where did he mess up🤷‍♀️

[@autarko]

@@Fingerscrossedout He should have stuck to his guns not let her drag him off somewhere on the first date. Bad idea.

[@tiffanyc566]

@@DrawciaGleam02 he definitely didn't mess up he ran away from a huge ticking Time bomb her and her whole family is crazy I've never heard of this in my whole entire life there ain't no way like someone else said going by her logic they'd be married the next day having a kid and buying a house within a week absolutely not and then a year later they'd be miserable together cuz she's psycho now that is not how our relationship ever goes

[@CroobieLetter]

Honestly, what he said wasn't so bad, he didn't yell, call names, or swear. He was honest and articulated his uneasyness well. It was asked-for and well-deserved feedback. Both the date and her family learned a valuable lesson about how you should treat people.

[@pris1378]

oh god. the poor guy. first date and then being thrown to the wolves like that? nightmare.

[@platinum_noelle]

Meeting family is a pretty big deal for a lot of people. She basically took a stranger after talking for 30min to a family function. It's weird and rushed, of course OP ended up spiraling throughout the night.

[@locusxe1411]

Some of the Redditor comments from the update trying to say “what about her side” are creeping me tf out. People make mistakes but I’ve NEVER heard anyone say I love you on the first date and then take them to meet their entire family on said first date. Kudos to the mom for already knowing what was up.

[@chocolattemocha8512]

Yeah, that’s so strange. Her side of the story doesn’t even matter. At least when it comes to this situation. Both her and a majority of her family made a major faux pas and were incredibly weird on the first date. That’s all there is to it, really.

[@emilybarclay8831]

She’s a woman and therefore clearly can’t be a danger and any shitty things she does are just mistakes that must be forgive. If a man did this, Reddit would be telling OP to call the cops

[@chocolattemocha8512]

@@emilybarclay8831 yeah. super weird double standard tbh

[@DrawciaGleam02]

@@chocolattemocha8512 I think it's because some families prefer their children to have dates at family events. Because supposedly family can be better at noticing red flags before you do.

[@chocolattemocha8512]

@@DrawciaGleam02 that’s also true! but man, did they go about it in the weirdest way.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: He has a point. That feels *WAY* too fast. *She needs to learn to slow down and wait for the right moment to introduce her date to her family, who are basically strangers to him. That familiarity can make others uncomfortable, like what happened here.* And the dad not letting him talk to his date alone, insisting that he can speak his mind in front of the family? *I don't like that. I wonder how many of those family members felt uncomfortable hearing what OP said.* 😬 Story one/after update: Damn. Way to go, Date's mother! *She ripped them a new one!* The family, and especially the Dad, I mean. She just scolded her daughter for bringing her date to a family event for a first date. :D

[@HealthyObbsession]

Given the update OP is the same they went on 3 dates and asked her to marry him He claims red flags but then goes back hopefully he doesn’t live to regret this

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

@@HealthyObbsession *What?! For real?!*

[@omefiaaninze4426]

@@HealthyObbsession it was a joke. pls continue the story. That's not what happened.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Op's reaction is completely understandable. I feel like anyone would have that type of response if _that_ was what happened when they _first met someone._

[@fufufuaru]

the way my forehead suddenly had a thousand wrinkles when I got to the part where OP "went on three dates and proposed" LMAO I'm amazed at the date's mom, she sounds like an awesome person.

[@jakeking3859]

Holy shit, he had me in the first half of that update. Thank goodness her mother at least is stable.

[@addicted2mako]

So the folks who demanded OP 1 to be totally honest and speak his mind…is shocked and hurt when OP was totally honest and spoke his mind? Shock of all shocks!!! ETA: The date’s mom sounds like the one in the family with the most common sense :/

[@meOW0131]

Yeah no. She is a huge red flag. The family was nice and all but they all don't know boundaries. You know what other boundaries they're going to stomp on later on? Marriage, kids, work, and probably how they super cuddle at night. They'll be "nice" about it so you'll feel even more pressure to do it without fighting back.

[@ReederAnonymous]

The "give someone power and you'll see their true self emerge" sentiment works for trust as well. OP gave the girl a bit of trust and she tried to initiate him into the cul- I mean frater- I mean religi- I mean family...yeah, family.

[@SnowyWolborg]

Good thing she showed her cards so quickly. He now is aware that the two of them shouldn't even be on the same side of town.

[@nineblackgoats]

Honestly OP didn't insult the girl's family. He just stated the facts. I would have had an anxiety attack right then and there.

[@notiddymothbirlfriend]

OP speedran the relationship from first date to divorce in one night wtf

[@Mglay556]

So I didn’t think that the girl was planing this all along at first but when OP added that it was a friend who made a profile and got them to talk is bizarre to me (unless this is more common then I’m led to believe) she deff planned it Edit: good for the girl apologize but I hope she learned a really hard lesson. Also the mom is the real mvp

[@willb9259]

The whole thing sounds like a set up fr, I wouldn't be surprised if the family helped her set up the date.

[@kaykay8855]

Upon reading the update, I don’t think a second date should be considered. While I’m glad that they parted amicably, I just don’t think they should date since she just shoved her family in his face. Also, op didn’t really insult her and her family. He didn’t call them any names, swear, or condescending in anyway. She shoved her entire family in his face and they were grilling him hard.

[@Safaridor]

I never realized just how weird my home life was until I was asked out by a girl in school. She came over to visit after school for a bit; and while we didn’t stay together long, it was her comments about my family that helped me start on the path of becoming my own person.

[@blacksparrow15]

When op said he was ready to commit to her at the restaurant I thought the story was heading towards him telling the family he wanted to marry her. I completely misread where this story was going.

[@shanoc5902]

I know right? OP was setting off every "Dude slow down!" alarm bell in my head until they walked in on her family on the first date. Did not expect it to be a series of events where he was trying, unsuccessfully, to pump the brakes in a pretty reasonable fashion.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 1: to be fair, OP was bombarded and put into an uncomfortable situation. I don’t think he’s the AH for it

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 Honestly OP sounds reasonable. The first date is about getting to know the potential new partner and see if there is a connection, but instead she pushed him into meeting her family and have them dogpile on him to do… I dunno. Some folks mentioned cult? I can definitely see that. It feels like something from a horror movie, not a comedy.

[@tashacooper1753]

This does feel very intense I’m bummed this happened they could have been perfect

[@DrawciaGleam02]

I personally think it's for the best OP called out what his date did. Otherwise she'd be ruining lots of potential relationships and never understand why!! Pretty sure no one in her family was going to tell the girl she wasn't handling a first date correctly judging by how they acted when she arrived with OP. Edit: Ok the mom knew it was wrong,. But OH BOY that aftermath was choatic.

[@robertx8020]

OP almost had me in the first part of the update 🤣🤣😂

[@superc.j]

They had us in the first half. Not going to lie.

[@plazmapple6326]

Honestly if her mom is cool enough to berate all those people and call them out of control animals, she might be worth another shot.

[@autarko]

I think he'd be better off dating the mother

[@noemiemi7213]

OP’s reaction is completely understandable, but also I wouldn’t say she was crazy or malicious, she’s just 21 and attached to her family and thought this was a cute idea in a spur of the moment 😅 Hope OP and her both will find their romantic happiness, either together or apart. And if together, I guess they’ll laugh or cringe about this at every single reunion lol

[@rora9553]

Crazy blind date story: OP had me in the first half of his update ngl

[@tishellefrancois7840]

That movie should be called Skipping the middle. If it gets pitched and picked up I want my royalties

[@carolroberts4614]

I would like to be the mum, but at 69, I suspect I'd have to be a grandmother!

[@animemagic]

OP is a better person than me. I would've ran out the restaurant much sooner. I hope OP doesn't continue to flirt/talk much to her after that update. It sounds like she's trying to get him back and that will be awkward as hell next time he meets her family again.

[@ChasehaWing]

First story response: Run...run...run... RUN MAN! RUUUUN! NO STOPPING. JUST RUN!!! His reaction is totally justified

[@sophdog2564]

I think he told us the lie about proposing and getting married in the first part of the update to prepare us for the effect wilder idea that he MIGHT be giving her another chance. I can see how it would be weird to get so tangled with a family and then just leave forever, but honestly I think it's preferable. Even if the girl is fine, do you really want to marry into all of that? I don't think that op was wrong to say it's a red flag that "there are no secrets in this family" and it's not like they are going to change that.

[@julianne089]

This is what I thought! It’s kind of manipulative come to think of it, so maybe they’re two peas in a pod.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Honestly the disregard for boundaries when asking the speak in private, and with how overly close everyone was (which seemed a bit on the creepy end) would've been a deal breaker no matter how big or sincere the apology. That's a level of behavior that won't get fixed over night, and I doubt the family would change either. Granted, it's completely up to OP to decide what he is comfortable with and what his boundaries/actions are. And I wish him the best in whatever choice he makes.

[@samcare8811]

MARKEE U GOT ME WITH THAT UPDATE I LOVE HOW SERIOUS U CAN READ

[@teenalot1235]

OP had me at that "Marriage paragraph" 🤣🤣🤣

[@Rhaenarys]

Story 1: you DID NOT mess up. You ARE NOT a jerk. What that girl did was cruel and IS red flag. So is how everyone acted when you wanted to talk in private. This wasn't cool. I'm sorry dude.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

So the family decided to show up for a first date and ask weird questions? No thanks, OP did fine but that girl is never going to find anyone if she backs them into a corner like this. Relationships are built on trust, this is a fast way to show you aren't trustworthy.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Yeah, that's why I think it was best that OP publicly call this out.

[@jobisn]

Your story selection and lightheartedness never fail to brighten my day. Thank you for all the work you do to bring us this content ❤️

[@elizahamilton5599]

I almost burst a vain when he said they got married. I’m so glad he was joking

[@KE-hr4sb]

Yikes. As an introvert, the family gang-up on the first date is a nightmare! He was definitely justified in everything he said, it IS a huge red flag that they wouldn't let him speak to her and insisted on making it everyone's business. Sad because I think they had potential, but that's a family I would think twice about getting involved in, with the exception of mom.

[@kyriacarica5862]

Why the heck would you bring a guy you just met to meet your immediate and extended family??? My family is conservative and even they would have looked at me like I was crazy banana cakes if I introduced my then boyfriend, now husband to them on our first date. Edit: My dude. You should take redditor advice with a grain of salt. Redditors often think they live in an r/nuclearrevenge story and that it's so easier to cut everyone off.

[@Germania72]

Story 1: Why would you bring the guy you just met on a first date to your family gathering? Sorry, but that's ridiculous. And heck no, what is this about the family being in your personal business all the time? She was wrong, you don't do that. It sounds like one of those stupid romcoms.

[@Theaissu]

Story 1: Meeting each other’s family comes AFTER knowing each other’s favourite color, food,movie, etc. He probably doesn’t even know her surname at this point.

[@margaritap.9459]

OP was kinder and more diplomatic than I ever could in a situation like this. If anyone though that maybe she wasn't intentional in what she did, maybe she's a naive little family girl - the "do you hate me?" text should have cleared everything up right away. That's some manipulation tactics you have here, girl.

[@yamairad1]

This is the storyline of a horror movie. They all needed too hear all of this. This is not normal.

[@Munthegun]

I’m SO PROUD of OP in the first story. I was hoping so hard that he was going to rip into this psycho entitled cesspool of a family. Good job OP. I wouldn’t even feel bad as I left her there and took off

[@Khaisz.]

I loudly yelled WHAT?! when he bamboozled ous.

[@roelthas]

Not having anything invested in the OP's life is what makes the advice more objective and rational, not muddled up by emotional nuances.

[@ChefDuJour78]

Even in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” they were dating a while before he met her crazy family. Lol

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

Story one: they both sound really intense, although the woman was a lot worse. The guy said that he was willing to commit to her upon seeing her and not even talking to her.

[@Daydream_N]

Man I'm not even comfortable introducing a guy I've been with for a year to my entire family. My parents maybe, but not my extended family???

[@CH-ns4gv]

Sounds like this is how most of her relationships go. That's why her family is so ready to pawn her off on any guy they can

[@Alissandre_Iskander]

This is such an odd situation. But I think OP was right to feel how he did. He barely knows this girl and he was thrown into meeting the family. Add that he couldn't talk to her in private so that they could be on the same page with what's happening.... that was a pretty unfair and strange thing to do to someone you just met. Good on that girl's mom for recognizing her daughter making this mistake and telling her.

[@alexishenry4434]

Op doesn't owe anyone an apology. This would be nerve racking for me

[@debc6260]

Call me cynical, but I really don't think dating her is a good idea. Seriously the 1st date sounded like trauma. Not a auspicious start to a relationship.

[@owlintrenchcoat]

Everything he said was pretty reasonable. Not what I expected from the title and how apologetic he was about the whole thing in the build up.

[@edgardo8971]

What did she think was going to happen when she told him to speak up in front of her family? She was an active participant in what occurred. Then she wants to speak to him outside after the fact, this is insane. He’s also a jerk for agreeing to her being in his yoga class and having to see constantly. Now he’s been placed in an awkward position twice. The second time is his own doing. IMO he’s going to wind up with a lot of crazies in his life and a hard time escaping them!

[@gland5848]

Never follow a hippy to a second location.

[@joaonorberto483]

And here I (introvert) was, thinking the first date I had where I meet the girls dad, because he was picking up a computer from a repair shop but she had the receipt and we had to go there, was bad...

[@itazuranakisu]

Nightmarish first date. This is something I would expect if she didn't like OP and wanted to scare him off because her family knew about the date. As someone who not only has social anxiety but is an introvert that almost considered throwing myself down the stairs to avoid giving a presentation (but thought wisely that broken bones weren't worth it) I don't know if I would've vomited before or after some verbal diarrhea or just run. Sometimes stressful situations like this cause me to just shut down so they could interpret that as being "b*tchy" or "uptight". I'm curious if she has dating experience for why she was rushing or if this is her usual speed with relationships. OP should be cautious and take his time getting to know her as a friend before considering dating her specifically in the future.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

" I'm curious if she has dating experience for why she was rushing" Yeah I thought that too. Girl could've have had a bad partner picker and wanted other people around to weed out potential red flags from her dates. If the red flags are picked up early she'll have saved herself some heartache by just dumping them before anything bad happens.

[@alfredmarcos1761]

Dude dodged a MIRV barrage

[@nightdweller6446]

S1...I'm hearing banjos..OP just got a massive heads up into a possible future. OPs bullet dodging is the stuff of legends. Holy crap 😳 Update: there's hope just, yeesh, dude needs to remember that trainwreck of a first date. The mom seems to be the full deck of cards

[@HarkonusVile]

Op's last responce was 9 years ago?!?! I wish I knew if things worked out and he got married or did he go missing soon after that? 🤔😳🤣

[@kateemma22]

The way she was speed-running this I'm sure she would have called a marriage celebrant before 9pm.

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

I LIVED this! Though she told me that it was the birthday of a friend. It was on a second date, but I didn't know it was her family until the drive home when she made a comment that her father really liked me. We dated three and a half years. This is the kind of plotline that B-list horror movies are made of. This was a setup from the beginning. With a close knit family like that, why was she off on a date on a family member's birthday party? Something isn't smelling fresh in this fish market!

[@annabellehe4307]

She really messed up despite having a wise mom xD

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 1: OP is NTA and nothing he said was rude or out of order. The family is TOO much and the poor woman has been brainwashed into thinking this sort of behavior is acceptable. That's why I refuse to be someone's plus 1 to a wedding or a family reunion or even a class reunion. I want to know the man I'm dating FIRST to see if he and I click. That takes time. OP dodged a big frikken bullet. Note to people, if you feel a "spark" when you first meet someone, back off a second. Plenty of peeps are into love bombing and will sweep you off your feet with grandiose gestures and affection. No one can sustain such lofty actions so all they are trying to do is capture your heart and then they can relax and be themselves which is someone totally NOT what they are projecting those first dates. It takes time for the mask to slip. You need that time.

[@kristy1653]

Sorry, but I agree that she totally planned to take him to that party as their first date. Right off the bat, I asked myself why she would have even booked a fist date if her aunt was having some huge birthday party with ALL of her other family there? Except her? She absolutely planned this and also seems quite manipulative in a lot of little ways.

[@cl5470]

So he asked for space after the debacle and instead she started taking the same yoga class so she could see him 3 times a week? Yeah... she's a stage 5 clinger. He needs to watch out.

[@glass9137]

JESUS i thought that update was real i almost lost my head 🤯

[@telinhajp]

It's heading to it, though.

[@joycec8]

There's something very wrong with an entire family being that intense about a first date. OP 1 dodged a nuclear warhead. Life would have never been normal.

[@lct1196]

That story sounds like a Jordan Peele movie

[@DemonAngel]

S1- this was planned. And I dont believe it was entirely the girl. I believe it was the aunt's to "find her a husband" *Matchmaker (Fiddler on the Roof) playing in the distance*

[@Fingerscrossedout]

Tbh i had an ex who took me to his family meeting that was insanely big while we didn't really have a second date yet... I was bombed with super invasive questions and random hugs from people that I didn't know... Well that relationship turned out to be abusive as fuck. So I stand by the "this many red flags in this short time, is a good indicator that you shouldn't meet this person again". 🤷‍♀️ But hindsight is 20/20.

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

Hoo boy. That is NOT something you spring on someone on the FIRST date. It’s like the woman showing up for the first date in a wedding gown. Or the guy already planning out their whole life together over entrees. He asked to speak to her privately and she insisted, and everyone got a lot more than what they were expecting.

[@GrinZGo]

That update tho lmfao had me

[@BigRed1595044]

First story: psycho energy. What did this stupid weird family expect when they’ve put a stranger on a spot like that? He just met that girl and it went from 0 to 100. And they dare to shame him for not knowing what his intentions with A GIRL HE JUST MET are? OP should know they did nothing wrong and their honesty helped him dodge this bullet.

[@XIIxMysticxIIX]

Lmao someone turn this into a script but instead of a comedy make it into a disorientating horror. Id totally watch it

[@mageninja3261]

Jesus christ. I had an anxiety attack just listening to this.

[@guywhowatchesvideos-z2e]

Poor aunt, that was her birthday dinner

[@theroyalbugness]

Well that was a roller-coaster that I would have jumped off of mid ride.... thanks for another fabulous video Markee!! 👍👍👍💜💜💜 have a gorgeous Tuesday!!

[@JeanyyBee]

That entire situation would put me 6 ft under

[@Tokuijin]

I don't think Op was in the wrong, though, I think things would have gone over better if Op explained that he's just met her and that he never expected meeting her family so soon. Nevertheless, that was awkward and I can't fault Op for his reaction. Admittedly, I can understand bringing someone with you when you meet someone online but that wasn't the case with Op's date.

[@Togishungry]

Bruh the false update gave me a heart attack

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Now that we know more about her motives, it appears this was her making a naive mistake because she's young and inexperienced. She didn't realize that she was tossing OP to the wolves. A good thing that comes from the update is that OP could have a future r/JustYesMIL. OP should still be wary as he is now allowing this stranger to insinuate herself into his life via his yoga class and all the things he does on his own. This could still go bad if she is indeed psycho or at least unhinged.

[@deballen7031]

Well that was a cart full of weirdness!

[@Ospyro3em]

Yikes, the mother sounds like the only sane one in that family. The rest including the girl sound pretty immature.

[@gcarr1089]

OP should just talk to her as a friend for now, he seems to be getting feelings for her and she hasn't lost her feelings for him. They still have a chance as long as they take things slowly. Friends first and maybe 5 or 6 months down the line if things are still going great attempt a first date but the right way - only the two of them.

[@kanelovec4315]

Yeah we are in simulation. You just meet a speed runner. The family was talking up op like she was bragging about op. Then how none of them were surprised about op coming over even when they just meat about a few hours ago. This sounds like a nightmare just add op was in his underwear. Update. The problem is I get she might just rushed it because she was stressed and she felt she found a long term relationship. But there are crazy people out there who put a relationship on fast mode. Find a guy, get him close to family maybe, have sex no protection, get pregnant, then marry, but is cheating the whole time so they can get a stable cash flow. That why terms like "baby trapping" and "gold digging" are common words. For all we could have know she is a stalker who saw a pretty face and said that's mine I'm her head.

[@arain764niara]

Sounds like the date and family were wrong. Why did they rush everything? Edit: sounds like there is still a spark si they should give it another chance

[@HonorWillow]

It’s so cruel to take someone to meet your family on the first date without telling them. Honestly even if it was a few dates in. Don’t just take your partner to meet a big gathering of your family without telling them that’s what’s going to happen! Maybe the date just didn’t think it through and is a huge family person so didn’t think it through enough from OP’s side, but the intent is still careless and the impact was bad. The family isn’t nice at least not further than the surface. They give zero respects to boundaries and everything OP said was true and fair. OP didn’t humiliate the date but was the one who was humiliated

[@autarko]

It would be enough of a red flag for me that the girl thought it was a good idea to get family involved on the first date, and not do anything to fix the situation later. More understandable if she's young. The fact that she has a patchy relationship with her father would also concern me. Then again, if she's a unicorn in every other way it would be hard to resist seeing where things go with her.

[@mztweety1374]

Who tf does that?? She does not know how to take it slow....the advice we always give “ nice guys” ....run...

[@gamefreak2383]

Story 1, she 100%Set that up She's made entirely of crazy There is no way that is a coincidence. The guy who married into the family says he went through the same thing so this is obviously some sort of cycle tradition.

[@legendarybushidobrown560]

Honestly when the uncle spoke his peace it gave me Cult vibes.

[@Pridegriffin]

OP give your lady friend a second chance. Other than that advice...ignore all advice here and go with your heart. Nothing done and said was violent. Just people/family being nosy , but needing limits/boundaries set. Go with your heart. I did. And we're going to hit "42" this next month.

[@helar2574]

Story 1: Hell for introverts, but damn, i know that i and some of my friends would have a blast in such situations in our 20s, but mostly because we had "we dont give a f" mentality