My Husband Only Wants Me for Sex

My Husband Only Wants Me for Sex
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[@bp6877]

The reason so many relationships fail is because instead of asking, "What can I give to this person?", people instead ask, "What can I get out of this person?"

[@djpuplex]

Lol goes both ways

[@cecilliachi]

Ain’t that right

[@scroogemcduckismyspiritanimal]

​@@djpuplexnobody sad "men" or "women" do it. It's obvious it goes both ways herpa derpa

[@ScurvyRascal]

​@@djpuplexwow! You clearly can't get laid, can you?! 😂😂😂

[@Duchess_Bananabread]

​@@scroogemcduckismyspiritanimal It appears someone may have a chip on their shoulder ...

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

There is so much pain and brokenness in her voice. Jesus deliver her and bring her into her restoration and wellness. 😰🙏🏽

[@blueStarKitt7924]

Amen.

[@roquirock2254]

If you wonder how she ended up with him to begin with, let me give you some insight: you accept the love you think you deserve. Her whole life she was neglected, she didn't know that better existed.

[@itchysheets1222]

THIS. Also, I think *some* men look at women like “well, she can’t go anywhere now I can be the real me” and they change up a lot different than they were before children. Before children, she could leave and he knew it. After, he thinks she’s free day care/free sex without having to invest even a shred of effort into the relationship or her dignity.

[@roquirock2254]

@itchysheets1222 you're so right, and it's so heartbreaking to see that happen

[@Daniela-pr7rz]

@@itchysheets1222this is why women don't want anymore to be housewives anymore, men have too much power and many abuse it.

[@bloomingale7868]

She should’ve listened to her mom and sisters and got her nursing degree to have a backup instead of relying on a man.

[@whitneynicole5655]

Absolutely true!

[@ethanw908]

He hates his life and he’s blaming and punishing her for it. He’s a coward.

[@boomshakalaka8655]

No she’s spoiled brat. He works gives her home for her and their kid and she cries she wants more. She’s playing victim. A lot of woman would love what he is offering. He doesn’t physically abuse her. She’s whiney brat who gets attention by playing victim. This host feeding her spoiled ego. Being poker player I know how minds work

[@javaskull88]

I was always afraid of being financially dependent on a man because I might have a baby, be stuck at home, and get treated like this. This is awful and scary stuff.

[@xsgtxbigboy1655]

He’s a coward but you have one side of the story the one thing I learned never believe someone till you hear both sides ppl like to lie and make them seem like there just perfecf

[@FreePickCapper]

@@javaskull88 being with your kids at home is bad now?

[@NeeNee_B.]

​@@FreePickCapperdid you miss the part where she also said "and get treated like this"?

[@lilbrother45]

This call broke my heart man. That poor girl. Listening to her is why I would do anything for my daughter. She’s now 18. We go jet skiing. We talk about who she’s interested in. And I constantly tell her that she is worth it and needs to be treated as such. She knows how a real man is suppose to treat a woman and if she ever needs anything, I’m there for her.

[@Landmantx]

It’s not like the guy is abusing her, he is just wanting his wife to take her attention away from the baby for a bit and give him some intimacy. This girl is acting like a typical American divorcee.

[@jonathanmitchell5171]

I just took my 9 and 7yo daughters jetskiing for the first time. I was about that age my first time so it was a big right of passage for me. Let them drive haha they are crazy. My 9yo went cliff diving. I did one and was done. Proud dad moment

[@jennyberger6688]

@@Landmantx on one hand, maybe that’s accurate on the other hand he could get off his ass and help her

[@Emptytopfloor]

@@Landmantx don’t confuse wife with your right had. Unfortunately, these two are not interchangeable.

[@Duchess_Bananabread]

@@jennyberger6688 Or even just talk to her. No woman wants to feel like her only relevance to her husband is as a body to be used. Treat her like a frickin' person, man.

[@EveryoneIsEqual101]

No! this is emotional abuse. Make a plan. Get out. Your daughter will suffer. Get out

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

Yup. This guy is a monster.

[@SuAlteza92]

@@lademoiselleketoret6958he’s an ass but monster is a bit of a stretch…

[@Name-sb1fr]

We didn't hear the worst of it. 'Since the kid was born' cannot blame.

[@kekejefferson9219]

I knew she was in her twenties because the tolerates so much mistreatment. He doesn't respect you as wife, mom, a homemaker and even a human being.

[@Emptytopfloor]

She has plenty of time to get back up on her feet and find a meaningful life. She just needs to leave soon.

[@billtuqoise1343]

No interest whatsoever until she tries to leave, then Look Out!!!! It's gonna be HIS kid, HIS money, HIS house, HIS car! That guy will expend 10X the energy resisting her than he did neglecting her. Selfish to the core.

[@jennifersilves4195]

My ex. Yep.

[@Excalibur2]

I mean, yeah, she doesn't work.

[@babs420th9]

Having a job is a spa compared to raising children. When its not lonely and miserably tedious it's extremely exhausting from constantly resolving fights and putting out fires. You're thrown from one extreme to the other and it leaves you with feelings of guilt because you're not doing enough, despite your best efforts. It's a war zone.

[@demisavage77]

On point exactly what mine did. And still after 10 years.

[@billtuqoise1343]

@demisavage77 Yup, they don't change. Glad you're free!

[@ButHearMeOutTho]

I always tell women, a child willl not change a terrible relationship. Only make it worse, so run before you have kids with a terrible person

[@terriesmith2616]

True but sadly the majority of women won't listen. They always think kids will make the relationship different. Most women always choose terrible men, ignore the red flags in hope that he'll change. Most women are so afraid of ending up alone that they're willing to date/be with a terrible guy.

[@alfacentauri3686]

A child turns an awesome girlfriend or wife into a mom. Some guys doesn't follow along that transition. On the other hand some women get so absorbed by their pregnancy or child that they forget their boyfriend or husband.

[@stephaniehidalgo6281]

This call broke my heart. So sorry to hear this for her. I know half the world doesn’t agree with me but this is why I will never be a stay at home mom or share accounts with my husband. If she would her own money her leaving wouldn’t be so tough. I really hope the best for her 😢

[@dcarr-kr7hk]

@stephaniehidalgo6281... That is fine. I know (personally) too many women (cross generationally) with whom it has worked wonderfully. Whether or not it dies, has EVERYTHING to do with the personal maturity of the husband.

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

Yeah, marriage is a financial risk for everyone, but especially for a stay at home parent. On the other hand, single people, especially single women, are worse off financially than married couples because you have no one to split expenses with.

[@emmaford4684]

Completely agree! I never want to be in a position where I couldn’t get out

[@manifest2203]

@@rachelmaddowswife8713 only single women with children have it hard. Single women who are child free by choice do better.

[@janelleg597]

Yet it's worked for hundreds of years. Fear of being hurt isn't a good way to live, it's easier to respect someone you need and lean on, and them vive versa.

[@thisis.michelletorres444]

She needs a support system! She needs a place of grace so she can get on her feet. And she's going to find her courage to build a great home for her baby because she wants better for her child.

[@Tamar-sz8ox]

It’s either change or BE changed . We’ve all been there ❤️

[@drisanacaldwell8828]

Alora you are worth more than this. It is a very hard road to walk but you are capable. Please use the items that John gave you. These will help you find the strength to make the best decisions for you and your baby. Dr. John - thank you for how you handled this call. Your depth of compassion shows how much you care for your callers.

[@boomshakalaka8655]

She is worthless ungrateful person and u guys are all falling for her victim nonsense she done all her life for attention. Get this hard working guy on who provided home and food for his family

[@mikenelson8377]

She has daddy issues plain and simple.

[@karenmassey8354]

My mom use to say that my dad would always ask her what she did all day and give her a hard time as a stay-at-home mom early on. Then she ended up having to stay in the hospital for a couple of weeks due to a medical emergency leaving myself and siblings (all under the age of 3) home for him to take care of alone. She said he never complained again after that. So probably just go visit someplace else for a while and leave the kids and house for him to take care of by himself for a few weeks. That should fix the problem and if it doesn’t, he is the wrong person to be with. After she eventually divorces him he’ll go around telling everyone “she left me for no reason”.

[@katiejon17]

The only truth here is that we are only getting one woman’s perspective on a situation, and there is certain to be way more to this.

[@ConnieFoster1]

He doesn't sound safe enough for her leave her child alone with him

[@Daniela-pr7rz]

This is why both men and women should both work and do housework. If you never do one thing, it's going to look a lot easier than it actually is.

[@reginasemenenko148]

Amen!

[@haydeecolon7868]

@@ConnieFoster1 absolutely!

[@GAFB1122]

@5:48 How do I eat, where do I go... very important questions. I feel for this young girl. Being abandoned as a child then getting adopted to a family with biological children that had medical issues. I hope she figures it out and can move forward and be happy / happier!! Now for women who have had less of traumatic childhood ... GET YOURSELF EDUCATED, LEARN SKILLS OUTSIDE THE HOME THAT WILL PAY WELL!! Never be dependent on another human being for food, clothing, shelter, or other necessities of life!! I am the father of a daughter, and that is the advice I have always given her. Now, she is a college graduate with a great career and has choices and doesn't have to ever put up with bad!

[@GameChanger597]

That's easier said than done after you've already had kids and you're a SAHM

[@pear_jules4013]

“Behavior is a language”. I’m committing that to memory.

[@reginasemenenko148]

​@@GameChanger597That's exactly the reason that I delayed marriage and put my education first.

[@kcourtney6826]

I feel for her but basically he got her young, and now he has her exactly where he wants her, so he no longer needs to try.

[@djpuplex]

Well she put on a dress and said yes so, all his fault.

[@Emptytopfloor]

@@djpuplexstay single.

[@djpuplex]

@@Emptytopfloor I never plan on getting married too smart to fall that trap.

[@Emptytopfloor]

@@djpuplex great. Say no to LTR while you’re at it.

[@alluringbliss4165]

@@djpuplex He probably manipulated her, you are excusing malevolent people

[@lazyakers]

The quivering voice tells me there is more in play than what this woman is saying.

[@siegfriedbraun5447]

She is petrified!

[@miranda13c]

it breaks my heart.

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

@@siegfriedbraun5447 exactly. It sounds like she is about to totally melt down. She is barely holding it together. ☹😭

[@momof2plusotaku657]

I really hope this girl got away. You can hear how broken she is…. I know first hand because I went through years of coercion that shallowly changed over a decade… I also started out 17 when we got together. The sad truth is she’s probably not even comfortable saying she’s been raped and that’s possible. Most men AND women don’t understand the spectrum of what is, and isn’t rape…. But eventually coercion turns into faking and pleasing, and for a long time you won’t realize you’re being raped and not even giving yours,elf that Grace to accept it, and you’re an empty shell after.

[@davinasquirrel7672]

@@momof2plusotaku657 Totally this is r@pe, even within marriage. And the women that go through this abuse within marriage/relationships, are the most damaged because of it.

[@Laura-ns6ys]

This poor sweet woman. She doesn't deserve this. I hope she can find the courage to leave.

[@NeccoWecco]

She's only 24... Her future is so bright. This 'husband' is holding you back from your true potential!

[@SoftSpokenReviews]

Absolutely

[@ElijahRedd1]

Usually I agree with Dr. Delony. But, I don't know if I do on this one. There have been points in my marriage where my wife would have described our relationship in the exact same way. And I know this because we've talked about it. I've never been physically abusive. And I've never been emotionally abusive. But my wife felt incredibly unsafe. All the time. The issue wasn't that I was a monster, but that my wife suffers from anxiety and depression. So everything was a monster. Making phone calls to businesses was too frighting. Going to the store would trigger a panic attack. The list goes on. What she needed was for me to take more control in the home. I grew up in a house where my mom was the boss. So I went into the marriage expecting that the home would be my wife's domain. She can't handle the stress of running the house. Even just telling me what to do can be stressful for her. Once we got to the bottom of that all the issues lessened and many of them disappeared. I could be wrong, Obviously we know very little. My feeling is Dr. Delony got.this one wrong.

[@SoftSpokenReviews]

@@ElijahRedd1 I understand what you’re saying, but I also don’t think it’s normal to not want to talk to your wife in person and communicate through messenger. That’s a bit odd.I would also like to add communicating just to have sex and not otherwise is kind of an ass move really. I’m sure your situation was different.

[@cuentaccuentos]

@@ElijahRedd1 where you also only talking to your wife to get sex? otherwise there isnt really a comparisson to make right

[@cuentaccuentos]

stop playing dumb. the situations are ocmpletely different

[@mirandapitzer4330]

I wish I had the courage to make this call! Alora you are so beautifully brave for taking the first step in making the call! I'm 42 dealt with this and more for YEARS before I knew it was HIM not ME. I also live in Indpls In and am here for support for you. Your a young mother and I've been there and am happy to share my personal experience with you so you know your not alone my friend. Stay strong momma❤

[@krutikah1468]

I am also going through the same …. He refuses to go for counselling… your last line struck a chord …. His behaviour is his communication and it is loud and clear

[@lifeaccordingtotheo9643]

Scientifically, men who view pornography regularily start to see women as objects, instead of people. I have not heard the whole video yet, but I would bet you that her husband has an addiction.

[@djpuplex]

The same is true for women but they see the husbands as 🏧 s

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

Where did you find those statistics?

[@currenteventsenthusiast9477]

I want to let you in on a secret. The guys would be angry for sharing this. Most men want sex more than you give it. Do we want to go to brunch?? Of course not. We go to keep the woman happy so that we can be nasty later in the evening ;)

[@djpuplex]

@@Ryan-wx1bi That's just common knowledge. However 70% of the time a man loses his job or has a business failure a divorce is filed within a year. 97% of all spousal support ever paid has been paid from men to women.

[@karenherbert1410]

@@djpuplex Most women don't watch porn regularly. So that wouldn't be to blame if some women see men as objects to provide money. While some women see men as ATM's many more men are only bringing money to the table. If they want respect and to be valued for more than their financial provision then they need to step up and have integrity, truly loving their partner instead of using them for sex and anything/everything else they do for them.

[@elainebmack]

Stories like these are one reason I could never get into marriage. You put your life in someone else's hands. You risk everything, including your own sense of self and well-being.

[@katiejon17]

Is there nothing in your mind that wonders “gee, I wonder if this is the only side of the story. What would her adoptive family and husband say about this? What relevant information would they have to add?”

[@briskettacos]

​@@katiejon17Why are you carrying so much water for this guy?

[@katiejon17]

@@briskettacos I’m not “carrying water” for anyone. I am being objective, and am more interested in the truth (which involves more than this woman’s anonymous, emotional venting). What you should be worried about is why you, and apparently most listeners, have no comprehension that you are only hearing what is convenient for this woman to say in order to be validated. So why is that? Are you all just drama queens?

[@bloomingale7868]

@@katiejon17 exactly. His perspective could be a whole lot different. The truth could be somewhere in the middle. For ex - he may not feel safe speaking to her due to overreactions, accusations, or twisting things so he may have resorted to her putting everything in writing so there can be no misunderstanding…just a theory.

[@bridgettefleming6140]

John thank you for all you offered Alora. I hope she uses it. She has so much life in front of her. She deserves to be happy.

[@msk5789]

Alora, I know it’s going to take time to get out of this relationship but for now, quiet quit. Or in this case, give him the energy he’s giving you. Don’t react or engage any more than necessary and keep your eye on the prize: freedom. If your inner monologue is telling you that you don’t deserve any better, then know that your daughter does and manifest in yourself the kind of woman you hope she’ll be. Hugs to you 💗

[@AngryVet44]

After you have kids and stay home you get locked in to be a trapped sex maid.

[@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86]

How do I sign up for that position? Its sounds better than me cleaning carpets all day. I'll cook clean and have lots of sex... yes please.

[@ex7229]

Found the feminist have fun with your cats. Lmao

[@FilthyMcNasty69]

Shouldn't generalize... plenty of marriages where the woman stays home and the man provides and treats his wife and family well.

[@blueStarKitt7924]

​@@ex7229🤔 Ok, but is that person that wrong, I mean, about some wives?

[@johnsonjj117]

IDK, my wife birthed our daughter, that was pretty awesome! I wanted her to choose the path in life that made her happiest whether it be stay at home mom and me getting a second job or her continuing to work. Now I do really enjoy and want sex with her (kinda thought it was nice that after 17 years she is still the only woman I want to have sex with) but maybe im just misogynistic like that.🤷‍♂️

[@misosouperman]

And these are the dudes that are shocked when she files for divorce.

[@sueblack5794]

"I was surprised and had no clue"!!

[@Losochill]

Man I have all the love and respect for SAMs. I WISH I could afford for my wife to just stay home, and all our kids are in school so she’d have it made.

[@Jedi12789]

Same here bro. I felt the same way, but don’t feel bad that our government won’t regulate wages so mom’s or dad’s can stay at home and help raise children.

[@dinajones2761]

@@Jedi12789exactly my husband feels bad that I can’t stay home but it’s not his fault.. he works hard and everything is so expensive we both have to work extra due to government greed

[@tashajoykin5192]

@@Jedi12789The federal reserve is why no one can afford anything. Do not bring the government into anymore of our financial problems.

[@thorneto2742]

When a guy says he doesn’t care what’s for dinner he actually really doesn’t care

[@jennyberger6688]

Haha I needed this comment thanks. ❤

[@Mountainhippiedude]

Evidently, it also makes him a monster.

[@ambertorres4444]

Yes it’s not that serious 😂

[@miranda13c]

@@ambertorres4444Let’s not trivialize this woman’s story and dumb it down to “he doesn’t care what’s for dinner” as if that is even remotely the only thing she discussed.

[@manifest2203]

Yes he truly doesn’t care about the wife.

[@audreymcleod4076]

Poor girl, she sounds downtrodden and depressed.

[@astrea79]

I was surprised when she said her age was 24. She sounded much older. Probably emotionally exhausted

[@smith899]

I have a wonderful husband and married. We decided I would stay home with the children. Even with a mutual decision, my husband just did NOT realize all I did UNTIL he was laid off and I found the job first. He did Mr Mom for about 6 months. Best 6 months for our marriage! We went on to have three children, all grown starting their own families now. But he never forgot how much work it was!!!❤

[@seadragon1456]

Honestly, that’s something these men need to experience. Many men think SAHMs are just having a blast hanging out all day. For some reason they don’t understand the babies are demanding and the toddlers are mobile ALL DAY just like dads experience when they get home. Kids are so draining that even working parents will drop the kids off at daycare during their day off because they have things to do. Lol And while tending to the children there are still things to be done. Cooking, laundry, cleaning, errands, home maintenance, car maintenance, appointments, etc… They don’t get it until they do it for at least a month alone by themselves.

[@opalanuitchoutte3038]

Behavior is a language - true words have never been spoken. Behavior is truthful

[@blueseptember2174]

Possibly hes "chronically online" if you know what i mean. Been there.

[@carleenshaw8167]

if you can't get someone close to you to appreciate your presence; make them appreciate your absence!! I see no reason to try to make someone see you...they do or they don't and you know what you need to know!!!

[@cecilliachi]

That’s so wonderful you offered her Better Health for 3 months ❤❤

[@ChristianOne]

Yes, I am so grareful he did that. She sounded SOOOO devastated anx heartbroken. She really needs that support (abd so much more).

[@FK-mq2gd]

Her husband sounds like a narcissist because he is all about his needs and has no room for her in the relationship. It's a relationship of one. He also sounds like a misogynist because he appears to have beliefs that women who don't earn or are at a stay at home mom are beneath him. It's actually deeper than that, seeing his wife as just an instrument to please his needs.

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

Yep. They just want a personal slave at home. God is watching and recording all. A lot of these men are going to go to their eternal reward one day and be totally shocked because they went down instead of up. Even though it seems like God is not watching and doesn’t care about the souls of men and women, he is watching and taking notes. There is a day of recompense for evil living, and this man is evil.

[@FK-mq2gd]

@lademoiselleketoret6958 This is actually my story, this lady mirrored me but praise God I actually made sure I had a job throughout the marriage of one to a misogynistic narcissist. God is the God of justice, unfortunately for him, on the eve of me deciding to leave, my ex got diagnosed with chronic kidney disease and is paying for all the carnage he has sown to his family. I pray we all learn forgiveness while we process guilt/anger/shame for being in relationships that never served us equally.

[@leaellas8400]

And I can bet you $100 that he thinks he's a wonderful man! He's going to be like those males that is like "I was blindsided and have no idea why my wife left me without me knowing." There is a disconnect between men and women and how we treat each other, especially within a relationship where you are most vulnerable. If she feels like she's being exploited within her own marriage by the way he treats her (and he is explicitly not communicating with her or being distant in his method of communication), he is literally treating her like a paid prostitute. Men need to do better. A relationship requires safety (not just physical, but emotional and spiritual) and being kind - and this goes both ways, but especially to the mother of his child who also happens to be his wife. He is a jerk, and she even admitted that! A lot of times when women are going, we are naive or go against our gut and make decisions we later regret, and this is one of the many scenarios that are real life, not the fairytale that males make up to convince women into their lives before they transform into the true wolves they are.

[@0seve291]

Leave before you get pregnant again

[@terriesmith2616]

$10 says she'll get pregnant again.

[@brightpage1020]

💯

[@demisavage77]

I feel for her. I stayed far too long because I didn’t have any supports. Nearly killed me.

[@whitechicacooks5780]

Sometimes, an abusive person won't take "no" for an answer. Forced relations can also produce children. I hope she can escape before he makes sure he has more leverage over her!

[@Dreamingbigbudgets]

Run girl run, no dad is better than a disrespectful one. You still have your life ahead and make it better for you and your daughter. She will Thank-you in the end.

[@bmcdonald7303]

Agreed.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Sometimes it’s all about the chase and once they get you, they devour you.

[@sueblack5794]

I doubt this woman put up a chase. Not being mean but just from her voice alone, she doesn't have any self-esteem and highly doubt she made him put any effort into it. Did exactly everything he wanted her to do.

[@nailahdawkins]

I hope she makes the right choice for her and their kids. The fact the the husband does important conversations over *Facebook Messenger* and can't open his mouth yet does so when he wants to sleep with you is immature, basic, and vile! This is why it's important to scout who you marry and wait to have kids!! 8:15: Why ya'll use the wrong terminology?? It's a *divorced mom.* She's married now but if she gets divorced, she'll be a divorced mom, not a single mom. She'll remain a divorced mom, until she gets married again. Single moms are women who have babies and never married. Same thing with single dads.

[@dcarr-kr7hk]

@nailahdawkins... I love when people point these things out! I agree.. She would but not be single mother. She works be a divorced one. (And yes. Words DO matter!)

[@melkerner]

A stay at home Mom is constant hard work.

[@emilyk.5664]

I feel for this young woman. I remember being in my early 20s and it was a terribly difficult time. Especially when it came to navigating relationships, learning hard lessons, making mistakes, and figuring out your path/purpose... And she's raising her baby on top of that. The fact is -- you CAN do hard things. I hope she finds a good support system...she needs that around her so she can move on from this man!

[@krissifaith6709]

She sounds severely depressed.

[@magicgemmaster7055]

That's no life for you, Alora. Try to get a secret plan together so you can flee with your daughter. Check the battered women's shelter for resources. Peace be with you.

[@txgho634]

Stop cooking for him. Stop doing his laundry. Change the locks.

[@djpuplex]

Husband quits job.

[@ScurvyRascal]

​@@djpuplex🤦🏻‍♀️ red pill

[@krystalgardiner5591]

That’s what I did.. I was going through the same thing as her lol He never learned anything from it and just went elsewhere for sex lol But good riddance 👋🏼

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

@@krystalgardiner5591 yep. A lot of them are this way. Such a mess.

[@machete128]

Lmaooo

[@xxxxxxxxx1652]

gosh, this one was difficult to listen. she sounds so scared and traumatized... I want this woman nothing but happiness and joy... to deal with such a burden at 24

[@territ1231]

Get daycare and a job even part time. Tell him you're going to do this. Don't ask...

[@chitlinjuice]

If I were her, I wouldn't even tell him, I'd just start doing it.

[@kmhkmh5806]

He absolutely is abusing her. Because of the fact that he doesn't value what she does with taking care of their child. He is probably loose with the names he 100% calls her. If she is honest, she probably doesn't have access to the money, He does. He is probably very controlling with where she goes and what she does. He probably has a completely separate life from her and the baby that she knows nothing about. He abuses her emotionally psychologically and financially. He just doesn't leave bruises that people can see on the outside. He isn't being intimate he just wants sex, intimacy would involve respect for his wife!

[@truthseeker6370]

Have heard So Many women (I am a woman) say "I was going to leave, but then I found out I was pregnant". On repeat. Heard the same from my own sister years ago. Husband cheats but we aren't using birth control, so I'm pregnant again and can't leave. I get it too from being there as a SAHM after baby #3 of 6. Husband Chose missions and schools from 2 jobs, over helping me with what ended up being 6 kids. Couldn't talk with me. I was just supposed to handle the children, household, bills, CCD, sports practices and games, dance lessons and recital, kids Friday folders with the week's info for each child and conferences. All while being pregnant or nursing full time... Then I was supposed to be happy and generous in laying down with him when he was randomly home. I left that 6 figure income 14 years ago. He has most sadly turned my children against me.

[@ConnieFoster1]

Exactly why I choose to never have kids. I didn't want to get stuck and trapped in case I picked the wrong husband

[@dana8208]

That is a huge sacrifice you made on a "what if" situation. You obviously have very little dating experience because it's pretty clear who is a good person and who is not someone worth having kids with.

[@Raegandaboss15]

Everything in life is a gamble !

[@simoneaustin8076]

same.

[@Losochill]

3:58 is DEEP!!! That touched my soul. Doc spoke all facts when he said that.

[@zeal4god402]

Many have emotional emptiness because one or both parents were not there, or if they were, they did not exemplify loving character. I'm grateful for this potent and liberating scripture. Psalm 27:10-11 When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the LORD will take me up. Teach me thy way, O LORD, And lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

[@carolynmitchell7330]

Aloras call break my heart

[@kikatk332]

Sweetie this breaks my heart. Sounds like my exact situation.I was 23 pregnant and 24 when she was born. When I got pregnant my ex's true colors came out and he started to distance himself slowly. Would be happy if I wasn't at home but with my parents. Didnt defend me when my gynecologist blamed me for him not doing ultrasounds/tests ( I was high risk). Then after our daughter was born I thought maybe he will change and become different. However that was not the case. He complained about having to get up at night, so I didnt wake him up anymore. However then one night that I did ask for his help, he told me to do it myself because he has back pain and has to go to work in 2 hours. That for me was eye opening when I noticed he think taking care of the baby is 100% a womens job. Then I took our daughter and went downstairs, when he woke up he basically told me that he goes to work all day and I "only take care of the baby, which is easy". Needless to say I woke up and left the house that day with our daughter and went to my parents house, officially ended it with him 2 weeks later. He did a lot of bad things to my family members and his mother lied to their whole family saying I didnt want any of them to see the baby and I kicked her out of the house 😂😂. Its not easy at 24 trust me I know but believe me you are so much stronger than you think you are. You can do it, dont stay with someone who does not respect you, you child will not be happy in a broken home. Iceing on the cake - 2 months after the separation he admitted he didnt want a baby and didnt want to be a father Luckily now he has stepped up a little, she is 2 1/2 now.

[@JoyofRVing]

The fact that she almost left him before finding out she was knocked up says she saw the red flags but stayed. She should have followed her instincts 🤷‍♀️

[@ForAncientKingAndElvishLord]

God, I'm just tired of listening to relationships advice nearing my 30 being single af. I just want to find my mate, but I don't think I will. I feel lonely.

[@Emptytopfloor]

Don’t bother. It’s a grim world.

[@Oceanmaid91]

Right there with you sweetie. Dr John talked about this sort of thing in a previous episode, and my work friends have equated my previous relationships to a trauma. I know I want to date, but every time I step back into the dating pool 😬

[@miketoth7000]

Your casting spells on yourself with your internal dialog and your choice of words. That's why we call it spelling. Say to yourself I will find a mate, I will find a way to get what I want. Stop focusing on negative things because it only manifests into your reality.

[@montymython754]

I’d hold off on listening to the relationship advice, at this point. You’ve probably heard all you need to hear, and listening to it any more will make you jaded and probably very on-edge with anyone who seems like a promising prospect.

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

re: "God..." Do you often write to God via KZbin ?? Ever get a response?

[@ST-rj8iu]

You cannot make another person see your value. Sounds like he views her as damaged since having a baby.

[@mirabella2154]

That woman sounds broken. Tells me everything I need to know about that husband although I usually think that Delony is more critical of the husbands than the wives on this show.

[@alluringbliss4165]

She did not know to pick a better man.

[@mirabella2154]

@@alluringbliss4165 No wonder considering her negative experiences with her own father.

[@sb2017.]

Many male marriage counselors and male martial mentors after years of experience. They side on wives more because they realize mainly men are the problem

[@NeeNee_B.]

Of course he is, his ideology states men are the leaders in the marriage, why wouldn't he be harder on them?

[@leaellas8400]

@alluringbliss4165 Men and women view the world and the interactions they have differently. She didn't have male guidance to truly know what is and isn't "normal" for someone who genuinely loves her versus using/exploiting her. Plus, men fake their entire lives prior to marriage and change once she becomes pregnant; males are aware of this and many have wicked hearts, so even if she "chtose better," there's no telling how someone can change when they decide to really reveal the true person under the mask. So, please stop with that red pill nonsense. If anything, that "choose better" nonsensical statement only allows to men because MEN INVITE WOMEN INTK THEIR LIVES, and women decide whether or not they will accept that invitation based on what they have observed ( and only if she's not misled by his words).

[@Lala89856]

Her voice sounds like she is being abused. Yes, I was in her shoes years ago. He didn't hit me, but we gave me the silent treatment for days, weeks, months, and other types of abuse as well. He only came to the room when he wanted sex. I told him I was worth more than that. I finally had enough courage and left.

[@SIGSEGV1337]

this is so sad, i'm tearing up

[@9liveslisa]

The switch gets flipped after marriage. Marriage changes everything and it is rarely for the better IMHO.

[@lt.2992]

I think the roles & standards (sometimes unachievable) people attach to marriage is what ruins the dynamic. He thinks he’s entitled to X treatment bc of those roles & standards he might be putting on her. It creates toxicity and frustration in marriages.

[@johnsonjj117]

It’s not a switch that is flipped, it’s unrealistic standards that people assume will get met.

[@michaelallen3304]

I need to hear the other side of the story on this one. Anytime one person is blamed for every problem in a marriage, I want to know more.

[@brightpage1020]

If he doesn't treat her with respect, that's not a her problem. But she can't change him. She has to begin treating herself with respect. If he's not mature enough to care for her post baby, then she's not doing her kid any favors staying with him. Whoa. She has been caring for others her whole life that have not only taken advantage but also probably hurt her. Or at least neglected her needs. And now she is with new cast members but playing a similar story... I hate this for this young woman. She deserves so much better! Now, all she needs to do is require it.

[@69429boss]

Financially dependent on him. She's trapped.

[@brittbritt6857]

Get out a pen and paper and figure out your exit plan.

[@sydguitar99]

I am not sure how I feel about this new thumbnails, they seem a bit too Steve Wilkos/Maury like

[@marybrown3024]

Go back to school anf get a profession start by getting your LPN 1 year it takes to complete ❤ when your daughter is older complete yout RN❤ 🤞

[@JustinCase780]

Maybe don't have kids if your situation isn't REALLY HEALTHY - GOOD.

[@Zumcho]

I've been saying that for years.

[@lnaph]

She said she never intended to and was going to leave and found herself pregnant.

[@JustinCase780]

@@lnaph Sadly, she didn't leave. She needs support and I hope that she finds a healthy path.

[@funicon3689]

@@lnaph"found herself pregnant" maybe she should "find" some accountability

[@allenellsworth5799]

It is easy to hear one side of a story and judge/comment.

[@brianclingenpeel5123]

Man. It is really sad when someone calls in and can both identify and articulate the problem but they haven't/won't do anything about it. I understand not wanting to have your kid grow up without a father, but is it any better to have an abusive father who IS present?

[@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86]

This is the worst advice I've heard him say. How long does he work and what does he do at work. If he is a roofer he does not have the energy to get a chore list as soon as he gets off work. You get off at 6:00 tired as hell and want dinner sex and sleep so you can get up and do the same crap tomorrow. She just wants to hear how much he appreciates her but doesn't give him any appreciation for his hard work. So they just stew in it. She gets to be a stay at home mom, that is awesome. My wife worked full time and did lots around the house and sex. So you got it pretty easy. Yes i helped but she probably did more. For a little while I was a stay at home dad and did everything because she worked 12 hours a day. I seen her 4 hours a day while she got ready to go back to work. Sometimes people expect life to just be easy. Its really not. He never asked what he does and does he work 7 days a week. She sounds lonely. Could be because he works his butt off so she can stay home with the kids. My grandfather worked 7 days a week 12 hour days so he was never home to do much. Probably came home hoping to get laid and go to bed. Its the life of a hard working man.

[@godpilled9077]

Why is she shocked? I've known men only want sex from me since I've been a teenager.

[@johnsonjj117]

Men have a higher drive to want sex, the difference comes from the fact that some men really do want to build a life with someone….and hopefully have lots of sex with them as well. After 17 years I still get flustered when I see my wife naked and would love to have sex with her twice a week or more….yet when she turned down sex 90% of the time for years I stayed faithful and loving to her because I thought what we were building was greater than just sex…..turns out….not how she felt. Not all men are horrible and some women are just as horrible as the men you talk about.

[@Cowgirlkate]

I just want to hug her! ❤

[@Tristum1970]

The pain in her voice 😔

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

Right?? Ooh it hurts. 😰🥺☹

[@Imaginarysonics]

Is everyone paying attention? This is what "trad wife/trad life/red pill" is in reality. Religious conservative men are raised to be entitled and hold dominion over women who are groomed from a young age by the men in their life not to have a voice and submit to their male elders. These are the type of men who want to end no-fault divorce. Hope this woman escapes and finds peace.

[@Chet_24]

I'm in favor of ending marriage. Zero upside for any man to be married.

[@bodhisattva2348]

Yup. No fault divorces, no alimony or child support, no abortions, no women shouldn't be allowed to vote & all that garbage.

[@ouwebrood497]

And she chose this.

[@johnsonjj117]

IDK, i’m religious and conservative….I offered to take a second job so my wife could entertain the idea of being a stay at home mom but she chose not to which I supported. I always make sure she is taken care of before I am because that’s my role as a husband. I worked overtime so she could afford to open up a side business. I helped her out with her school load during her night classes and always make sure I leave the house cleaner than I found it when I get home from work. You categorize all “conservative Christians” as these horrible people….why?

[@respectabletampodcast]

Thank you for walking her through the exit strategy.

[@bettysmith4527]

I'll say it again... Ladies always make sure you have a career, go to school or learn a trade before you get married and have kids, don't get finically stuck in an unhappy relationship!! She is mama to her husband by the sounds of it, he sounds like a man child!!

[@NewlyRisenInChrist]

I agree. I tell men to continue to improve, stay in shape, and when your wife uses her exit plan, snag a younger one! Protect yourself at all times.

[@funicon3689]

@@NewlyRisenInChristat that point, you both may as well not get married since youre both starting with one foot out the door

[@mariahconklin4150]

Alora you’re still young and I’ve been through so much especially in my 20’s. If you believe in God he will make a way for things to work out rather that be things change and he changes or you leave but don’t be afraid to leave I had to leave someone who cheated on me if I can do it you can do it also and this was my high school seeetheart. You’re not alone 🖤 and like John says you have to learn to be on your own two feet at 38 I am awful at that.

[@Burlykim13]

I’d actually really love to hear his perspective in this scenario

[@ouwebrood497]

Yes, me too.

[@tomnohmy1273]

Poor thing, she sounds so sad

[@smrosekelly]

When society belittles the essential role of mothers, women are put in danger and it harms everything

[@biolife3274]

Please for the love of God don't stay with a man for the kids. Women need to stop doing this. It's going to be hard, but you will 100% be doing what's best for the kids.

[@bloomingale7868]

Serious question: what do stay at home moms do all day when the kids are in school?

[@bamabigfoot]

Best background album yet.

[@sarahwilson24]

Divorce him, let him pay child support and alimony and move on with your life. You're very young, you'll find someone else who respects you. Also, you should try getting a degree if that's what you want. Wishing you the best ❤❤❤

[@rory644]

24 she is so young 😢 hope she figures it out!

[@racheljames7]

Dr John, i think you should start insisting that both parties are part of the call because the danger is so many women are calling in, slagging off their significant others and everyone in the comment section is slagging off a very real human being when their sode of the story hasnt even been heard.

[@chloechavez_]

Elora, I’m praying for you. ❤️‍🩹

[@nectarzetlian9251]

I would suggest to her to leave him.

[@AngieLaughsInappropriately]

My heart goes out to her. The man is very miserable with himself. He doesn't care how he treats her, and that has such a devastating toll on her emotions and mental health. I'm so glad she called into the doc.

[@a.r.8954]

It's actually not rare at all for men, and/or abusers in general, to 'flip a switch' in this manner when a relationship becomes extremely established and when their victim is sufficiently 'trapped' by circumstances. There are definitely cases where the red flags are apparent and were endured (as with this caller), but there are also cases where they are much more covert or not even particularly present. I've seen it many times, and women continue to report it. Additionally, blaming very young people for the predictable effects of the abuse cycle, including, but not limited to, love-bombing and intermittent reinforcement inflicted on a vulnerable psyche is unfair and irresponsible. It's abuse and torture, and blaming a woman for 'staying' shows ignorance to the abuse cycle.

[@MixxxedFruuts]

This poor baby. I wish I could give her a hug.

[@littlepockets4959]

Well that was heart breaking :(

[@smith899]

3:09 I believe what she is saying because listen to her voice breaking from the hurt!

[@onecompass7290]

Go out of town for THREE weeks while he stays home using his vacation time. Use that time to arrange your exit. Get help from the local women's crisis center housing. Get a lawyer, and therapist. I'm sorry to say you married an abusive gaslighting narcissist. Leave him and get serious treatment for your Self Love Deficit!

[@citypadfilms8125]

I like to read the comment section 😄 Lots of people with prejudice, but also lots of people with similar stories or experience that can shine more lights on the story being told on the call which is 1 sided story.

[@davinasquirrel7672]

It is way beyond not respecting her, he despises her. Only conversing via apps? Not talking to her? Treating her like a sexual service provider? Ticking all the boxes of despising her. Hopefully she found new strength after she left the dirt bag. That happens when the constant disrespect is no longer happening (or only small doses). I would also argue that he is an abuser, a sexual abuser (I think she said something like "taking sex") and that is r@pe, even within marriage.

[@DogMama7777]

yes

[@reneel2441]

Go back to school online and get a degree before you leave.

[@Losochill]

Waaaayyyy to young to be dealing with this at 24. 🙏🏾😔

[@soni05131]

No honey, here is your second time you need to leave. He's treating you terrible and your baby daughter is experiencing abandonment while daddy is indifferent whether your are there or not. You already knew the answer to your question. God bless and hope all works out for you.