I Only Initiate Sex With My Husband After Drinking

I Only Initiate Sex With My Husband After Drinking
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[@kensmith2796]

My sister did this. She left her HS sweetheart in college for someone she found more exciting. He was just playing her and left shortly thereafter. Each guy she dated just got worse and worse until she ended up marrying an unemployed alcoholic (who probably has a personality disorder). Her former HS sweetheart is now FB friends with our Dad. He's happily married with children living in a huge house and extremely successful.

[@brianbest6097]

Lots of women do this and come back with multiple kids from multiple men. After dating financial, emotional and verbal abusers they want someone to take them as they were. Older with kids

[@vincentwesley5767]

Obviously. The grass is never greener. These divorcées are delusional AF.

[@annah3359]

The other grass is always filled with weeds.

[@jackdeniston59]

´Éxcitement´ Because women never actually do anything, they never understand consequences. Grow up.

[@hihaters2004]

What a happy ending 😊

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

She’s not missing out. More relationships can mean more pain and baggage .

[@Truthisstrangerthanfiction8]

She belongs to the street.

[@avig8334]

Exactly I have a peer that is soon to be married has three kids , but never had a chance to date and be single . I tell them all the time they aren’t missing nothing.

[@naraendrareddy273]

It's delusional. Skin and flesh is the same and feels the same. The difference is in the soul of the person.

[@darkcircle899]

Yeah I think she has a tough of "grass is greener" syndrome. She's been with the same man for so long she's starting to feel like maybe the grass is greener with someone else that's new. The thing that everyone who actually goes through with their thoughts learns is that a new relationship can feel fun for a little while but it lacks the substance of a deep connection built over many years and you don't realize how important that is to you until it's gone, but after it's gone there's no getting it back.

[@lav7161]

Hi Leigh, As a guy I understand where you are at in life. Let me tell you this, that fantasy that you have in your mind will turn into a nightmare if you go through with it. I'm single, and I wish I was mature enough to go through the hard parts of my relationship without giving up. You have a rare badge in life right now. You're with your high school sweetheart. Not many can say that. And right now you have an opportunity to make that relationship stronger. I know you want to leave and experience that fantasy with your co worker but what will happen is you're going to sleep with him and that will be the end of that chapter. You're just gonna be another body on his list and you're gonna be expecting the love that your current husband is giving you from the other guy and its not gonna happen. Do what you feel is right but I've seen this story play out way too many times and it ends up in regret. Hoping the best for you

[@jeromehenry4484]

I agree 100%, she and husband have a rare relationship, but once it is broken it cannot be mended even with marriage counseling. I personally think husband should divorce caller. Caller had her half-hour crying session, which is a temporary fix, she will eventually cheat on her husband if he stays married to her. Set her free. Set him free. If they get back together down the road, that's okay but it will be just like 99% of second marriages with a 70% of a second divorce.

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

@@jeromehenry4484 There's always room for hope until there isn't.

[@julesp8186]

Well said!

[@scratch57]

highschool sweetheart is not synonymous with soul mate or perfect match. in fact, the likelihood of someone capably selecting their ideal mate at that stage of development is so infinitesimal that its shocking you'd say any of this. she does not desire him. she leaned on him in her time of tragedy and now that he's made her feel more whole she's ready to walk away. No amount of therapy can make her desire him because that is chemical. she's ready to walk TODAY. A man who would hope to keep a woman with him who feels that way is only asking for punishment.

[@melstarr1864]

@@scratch57Desire isn’t just chemical; it is also emotional. And a negative emotional state can block physical desire.

[@Spaceman99966]

"Experiencing life" is so cringy , we all get a different set of cards , and sucking/fucking your way around isn't "Experiencing life" its ripping pieces of your soul away one chunk at a time

[@sobeliever1638]

Spice up your marriage and stay with your man. He sounds like a keeper. You are not missing out. A good man is what most womem want. You have it already so appreciate it and don't screw it up.

[@KitCatForever777]

Most women want the Chad and Tyrone. They settle for the nice guy. But after being with that nice guy, they want the validation by men, other than their husband.

[@jazminereed-clark9316]

I rarely comment, but I wanted to say Dr. John is SPOT ON here. I drank because I liked my alter ego. Before I could get rid of the negative self-talk, get rid of the narratives, I had to get rid of alcohol. It's lonely and hard at times, but nearly nothing compares to liking yourself sober and telling yourself a new narrative. Best of luck! ❤

[@skyfall1481]

Giving up a loyal husband to join tinder where she’ll be pumped and dumped, ghosted weekly. Ditch the booze and tell your husband you want to be courted again to bring back the passion. Stop the negative self talk of past experiences and live in the present. First world problems.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

She will be so damaged if she goes this route. I am a 35 year old male gf is 26, dudes my age with their stuff together and not looking for just casual fun will not even consider a woman like this especially with all this baggage. Not trying to sound mean, it’s reality. She has less than a 1% chance of finding another guy like this.

[@rarajean]

@@johnsmith-kt7ef 100% believe that

[@brianbest6097]

Women love finding problems and things to complain about. Now I see why the divorce rate is 70%

[@brianbest6097]

Harping and dwelling on the past instead of living in the moment

[@crismotionproduction3519]

Women ☕️ 304’s everywhere

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

When people go to “find themselves” they usually find someone else. They trade the good for what they think is better. Except the forbidden fruit that tastes sweet now but turns bitter later .

[@hihaters2004]

💯

[@nikstar1313]

Exactly!!

[@brewsandbass5572]

She's one drink away from cheating.

[@Helibeaver]

Wish you were not wrong , you are spot on

[@David-wo9un]

It may have already happened with all the work functions involving alcohol.

[@Slim3398]

Gross

[@brewsandbass5572]

@@David-wo9un Yes. I'm surprised he didn't ask.

[@mxusa8383]

The cheating has started in her head and it won’t be long before it hits the sheets if it hasn’t already. She’s thinking she’s cheating on her coworker when she sleeps with her husband. She has to drink in order to feel comfortable sleeping with her husband because her body wants the coworker but her mind deep down knows her body should only be for her husband. She’s fighting these feelings and thoughts and she’s in a dangerous cheater mindset at the moment. As soon as she’s physical with the coworker she will really start to develop negative eyes for her husband and she will trying super hard to justify why it’s ok what she’s doing and soon she will be resentful towards her husband and blow her marriage up.

[@fortyseventhronin]

I once told the love of my life, "I can't live without you." He responded by saying, "I don't want you thinking like that, I want you to be okay with or without me." I didn't realize it until I heard it, but it was actually the perfect answer

[@desireepatterson5977]

Are you still together?

[@VioletEmerald]

I told my partner who said they can't live without me the same basic thing. I don't think it's healthy or ideal for a person to not be able to imagine functioning without me. It's codependent and death is a part of life if nothing else. Grief can be devastating but life does go on and being confident you can get through it is important and if you're not confident in that you should work with a therapist to get yourself there. But also that partner was literally suicidal over the smallest perceived rejection. And wanted me to be okay with them needing me that badly. Eventually they realized they had Borderline Personality Disorder. It explained a lot.

[@madeline2995]

​@@VioletEmerald the first time I told my husband that I could live without him, he was a little bit offended. Obviously we discussed it and he understood where I was coming from by the end of it. But realistically, I CAN live without him. I wouldn't like it and life is a million times more fun and enjoyable with him but if I absolutely had to, I could lace up and do it.

[@mackthecoach5174]

Basically, my HS sweetheart supported me through my bs years...now I want to go have my hot girl summerssssssss.

[@bolavish4321]

Pretty much

[@Gatoconbotas1134]

Yup

[@aishwaryasudan1290]

She also probably wants to hurt someone who needs her the way she needed her parents.

[@LA-hx8gj]

😂 facts

[@YasminMahnaz]

Na.. her dude is a simp or small penis basic.. disinterested in life or sexual spark.. he's boring​@@aishwaryasudan1290

[@hindy7570]

This woman has gone through some tough stuff. I could never imagine. However she sounds like the wife I marry in my nightmares

[@thorneto2742]

I married the girl I started dating when I was 15 and I went through a period of mourning the fact that I never really got to experience other people and wondering what my life would have been like if I had been able to go off on my own but I also don’t regret sticking with my wife at all. I’m 33 now and our relationship is the best it’s ever been. Hope she sticks with him and they find a path forward.

[@carnivoreRon]

She finds a righteous path forward with her husband.

[@bdrm2009]

THANK YOU for admitting it. Most people on here are acting as if having human thoughts means she's just brimming with slut energy.

[@Butterd4t4ss]

When I was 18 I got into a relationship with this girl I met at work. A year in I decided I see myself marrying this girl. before I turned 20 I realized wow I never experienced other women. At that point I had only slept with 2 other girls. Around that time I had many women at work throwing themselves at me. Inviting me to go out with them. I always said no but in the back of my mind I really wanted to have sex with a few of them. Long story short I ended up quitting that job, a few weeks later breaking up with my then girlfriend ( I told her I wanted to experience new people, harsh but it was the truth) Ended up going back to that job, got one of the girls number, brought her back to my apartment and you can assume the rest. Funny thing is both of us didn’t contact each other the next day. The thrill was gone the next day for both of us . That whole year I was hooking up with different women but I couldn’t help but miss my ex . One day I called her, got back together. It didn’t last long. Worse decision and waste of time but it was definitely a lesson taught. I ended up staying single for 8 years. Had plenty of sex with different women. Finally started finding romantic interest with one of them and now we’re about to make a year in a few weeks. Tbh I’m glad I lived the single life and got to enjoy it. I was definitely yearning for sexual freedom. It was fun while it lasted and now all I wanna do is stay loyal to my girlfriend and build a family eventually.

[@weekendnomad5038]

There’s nothing out here and the grass isn’t greener. My ex husband of 16 years had a two year affair on me… when we divorced he enjoyed being “single” for like 2 weeks and then started begging me back, stalking me… I know he still loves me too but he wanted her so 🤷🏻‍♀️ that’s his mistake… don’t throw it away it’s not worth it . The kids tell me their relationship is toxic so ,. He dug his hole he can lay in it I remarried and honestly my new husband is absolutely amazing hopefully we don’t have a repeat :/

[@bojack2740]

She's cheating on you. Just kidding

[@everyotherbar65]

The streets calling and she can not ignore it 😂

[@hihaters2004]

😂😂😂😂😂 📞

[@BlackStump172]

She does not HAVE to drink alcohol . No one will know what is in her glass wine/ apple juice / gin / water .

[@brent1133]

facts. that's exactly what's happening

[@zmanzeta7776]

This woman is one drink away from committing adultery. She and her husband need professional counseling asap. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. They need to do some serious work on their lawn….

[@texan903]

Most of the problems are within her, however. Going to counseling isn't going to help someone who has the innate desire to step out of her marriage. Her insecurities will be her heartbreak and her husband's destruction. Being married to this woman would be an absolute nightmare.

[@sunshine3914]

@@texan903 Seems there’s only two choices for the husband: either try to apply himself or go head first into destruction. Sounds like he’s a lot spoiled.

[@terriesmith2616]

@@texan903 100% agreed with you. The problem is she doesn't know herself, doesn't know what she wants in life, she thinks the grass is greener on the other side when in reality, she needs to water to own grass if she wants it to be green. Her poor husband got short change in this marriage. She will have such big regrets once she divorce him and go out to sleep with every Chad and Tyrone, those Chads and Tyrones will have sex with her but they won't be able to give her what she needs because the problem is within herself. She doesn't know herself and she doesn't know she wants in life, until she figures that out, she'll always be unhappy with life.

[@dakotasikes6690]

I can almost garentuee that she's cheated while drunk

[@BlackStump172]

@@dakotasikes6690Yes , that is why she is crying . Guilt .

[@taloulaskitchen]

she's already got her eyes on someone else.

[@sherryd.3425]

So few of these comments are the least bit compassionate. Intimacy is not going to be any easier for her if she is sober and then cheats. She wants intimacy with this one man and doesn't know how to achieve it. I really appreciate Ms. Reed-Clark for being so supportive.

[@jaes1346]

Agreed. The comment section is so disappointing. Just a lot of people wanting this to be worse than what she said and just being all around judgmental. I keep wanting to see hope in Ramsey comments and am so often disappointed.

[@jjack5244]

They are all a bunch of self righteous christians ​@@jaes1346

[@lyingdogfacedponysoldier5746]

I’m here to find out how this is the husband’s fault. She’s already cheating btw🍿. And there it is “he’s gonna have to give more…”😂. Old Dr. J never disappoints. To the husband: Run for your life man. You have no kids with this woman. Run. Save yourself, you can’t win. She belongs to Kevin in sales Chad from accounting, and Jerome from legal

[@TartarianTopG]

😂😂

[@ts8024]

Lol

[@michaelallen1154]

@Lying Dog Faced Pony Soldier... Savage!! 😂

[@Mscookie3131]

We always think the grass is greener on the other side. The unfortunate part is, that’s rarely true.I’m the same way with my husband and I needed to hear this.

[@davidlatting3789]

The grass is greener on the side that you care for it the most.

[@kirylspence1190]

husband needs to be done with her. Apparently HE needs to do more. Typical john putting the onus on the man

[@WilingtonProductions]

Seriously. This girl just wants to get ran through and party.

[@darkcircle899]

He doesn't need to be done with her. The feels she's having are common especially in a relationship as long as theirs for both men and women. She's missing a sense of spontaneity and fun and newness. It's possible to have those feeling with her husband and according to her that's what she wants so they have to work at it. This is what marriage is and the reason so many of them fail is as soon as you hit a bump in the road that requires some effort so many people think like you and just leave. If you don't take your marriage vows seriously don't get married.

[@BlackJezuzBaby]

This marriage is over. She is going to divorce a good man because she wants excitement. Husband is going to get blindsided.

[@terrariumrich]

This is what will happen. She'll break the man's heart ruin his life and still have to pay alimony. She'll hook up with guys some better looking some younger than her husband, and lots of male attention online. After about 2 years of smuggling salami, she'll want a relationship but she won't be able to find anything more than physical. She will beg her husband to come back when he had just gotten over her and his possibly thinking about asking a woman he knows on a date

[@mysticmama_3692]

Actually no. Women tend to "affair down"...meaning they tend to choose affair partners that are beneath them to feel admiration and worship for being out of that man's league...so typically the male affair partner looks way worse than the husband.

[@risingsunofjapan]

"My youth passed me, I have not been able to experience other people". She wants to sow her oats. I feel bad for her husband 😔

[@David-wo9un]

My money says she will sow those oats if she hasn’t already at the work functions that include alcohol.

[@KitCatForever777]

My money says she has already cheated.

[@whitneyw.7919]

yah, that perpetual dissatisfaction with her husband just for existing isn't going to just go away randomly

[@mxusa8383]

🤣 standard female behavior, she bored and wants tingles. She will have those resentful eyes soon for her husband. She’s grasping at any way to rationalize why sleeping with her coworker is ok. Cheater thinking loop going through her head. Your obsession’s become your possession’s in life. She’s clearly obsessed about the coworker and feels guilty sleeping with the husband when she feels she should be with the coworker. She has to drink to relax and “cheat” on her coworker fantasy guy when she sleeps with her husband. She said she gives in to her husband 2 out of 10 times 😳. Not looking good for the husband…

[@darkcircle899]

@@whitneyw.7919 You're right it's not going to go away randomly that's why they need to go to a marriage counselor and have a talk about what her needs are to continue to be happy in their marriage. As long as no one is stepping out or being abusive you can fix almost anything in a relationship as long as both people are all in on fixing it.

[@shanepdooley]

“Two times out of ten I’m like Alright, Let’s go”. So, 80% of the time she turns him down. If she steps out, I hope he not only scorches the earth, but salts it, too.

[@KitCatForever777]

So, she is upset that she was not able to ride the carousel before she got married? Just divorce the guy before you cheat. Sounds like she wants an open marriage and they never work.

[@David-wo9un]

The pause when she was asked if she is going to leave him says everything.

[@gessrinky9129]

Yikes.

[@anneshirley9560]

She's not happy with herself. She's trying to blame getting married or being too young, or being adopted and so on, but reality is that if she did divorce him and sleep around she's still going to be unhappy. I think it's also hurtful that she told him that and then complains that he just doesn't understand, why should he be so understandable when she's telling him that he's not good enough and she's bored.

[@benjamina.serrano8948]

Basically

[@lav7161]

Relax red pill boy. If you've ever been in a long relationship you know these are thoughts that cross our minds as a guy or a chick.

[@staleydu1]

Business involves alcohol because one is involving alcohol with business stuff. I could drink at every business function, I but I chose not to drink at any of them. So business does not involve alcohol for me.

[@zeal4god402]

Amen. Nobody is forcing hennessy down her throat

[@arh1234]

She mentioned she's in the industry - I think, literally works in the liquor industry. Still not impossible to avoid drinking, but more ostentatious

[@listrahtes]

you cant judge all business jobs the same. THere are definitely positions were drinking with clients is expected and part of the job. I would not judge her for that.

[@thecramptons]

@@zeal4god402😂

[@David-wo9un]

2 times out of 10 are terrible odds for the husband; I feel sorry for him.

[@KitCatForever777]

She is saying that she refuses to initiate and she withholds sex from her loving husband. She keeps him around because of what he provides. When she discusses this with her husband, he is going to hear how he isn't good enough for her.

[@mxusa8383]

Thought the same thing. She’s running the loop of starting to rationalize poor beliefs and poor behaviors to justify what she wants to do. She wants to cheat and not feel bad about it. She’s developing the cheater mindset, she’s probably cheated already and if not she’s definitely been cheating in her head for a while now. She’s starting to feel like she’s cheating on her coworker she’s fantasying about being with when she’s with her husband. She has to drink to sleep with her husband because she’s in love with her coworker. She’s in trouble and her poor husband will have a brick thrown through his front window of life soon enough.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

@@mxusa8383 good news is he will have an easier time finding a woman based off what she described to have a relationship with than she will in finding a man that’s looking for more than just pumping and dumping.

[@ChatteNoireBlanche]

The dating scene is difficult in this age, blessed the people who found someone to marry soon. Many of us wish we had found our husbands sooner and that we had to go through less relationships that didn't lead to marriage. Meeting the person right away is unlikely, so it is a miracle you did, do not waste it!

[@estelayer3138]

Feel bad for the husband. He deserves more.

[@zeal4god402]

In my opinion, she lacks higher purpose and a life-long mission that is beyond her man, romance, money, and material accumulation. She chased and accomplished the status quo of marriage, career and house, yet is still unfulfilled. She turns to alcohol to release her inhibitions in an attempt to get that extra zest out of life, yet her rocky path is insidiously destroying her and will be a factor to her marriage dissolving unless she alters her path. I'm thankful to God I never had to nor never will need mind-altering and debilitating alcoholic beverages to consistently have joy, live purpose-driven and be Godfident

[@kamarwashington]

Real. You can only live for materialism and hedonism for so long before you’re left feeling empty. Secularists don’t realize how meaningless life is without God. More specifically, Jesus, but theism is a good start lol

[@zeal4god402]

@@kamarwashington Amen! I used to live for what satisfied my senses but not for what satisfied my soul. Happiness came and went, it was so fleeting, but now I have joy from God which endures and doesn't go away. A life centered on hedonism and materialism is quite shallow and takes little effort. Living a life of great depth and substance, will always get into the spiritual realm, now THAT takes great effort and discipline, which yields abundant rewards in inner wholeness and stability

[@kamarwashington]

@@zeal4god402 Amen, my brother. Perfectly worded. Thanks for sharing!

[@terriesmith2616]

@@zeal4god402 You are 100% correct! 💯💯💯 You're spot on in your analysis, if one doesn't have a purpose in life, living beyond oneself, then their life will lack meaning and lack fulfilment. They'll always be searching for that high, that elusive "happiness".

[@zeal4god402]

@@terriesmith2616 AMEEEEN PREEEEACH TERRIE

[@JacindaH]

A majority of my girl friends experienced this same thing. Fear of missing out. They ultimately left a good man looking for something more exciting and generally go through several horrible men only to realize they'd give everything to have that reliable man back again...but per usual they've remarried someone who appreciates their kind words. Woman are ruining themselves trying to find something that doesn't exist. And this guy is a doctor? Of what exactly?

[@FM-kk7pj]

She’s using her past as an excuse to play the victim, ease her conscience, leave her husband, and ride the rooster carousel. I feel terrible for the husband because of all the ish he’s going to be put through because of her selfishness. This is just one of numerous examples why men will not attach or commit themselves to modern women. No matter how much of our time and resources we provide, it’s never enough for modern women.

[@rarajean]

😂rooster carousel 😂

[@crismotionproduction3519]

304 everywhere hahah

[@Tyrantking7]

She be out here in these streets.

[@user-he6rs8xi7u]

🐓 🎠

[@KittyCurioso]

Wow, someone is judgmental. Toxic

[@RachelReaiah]

I am single and I pray for a husband/mate who understands marriage is service to each other. Marriage for me is saying we are in a rough patch but these vows mean we are going to work through this. Except for abuse and infidelities, I pray for someone even when I feel unpretty, unsure, etc I can be honest in those moments with them and they with me. There are so many hard unspoken truths in relationships. She wants a fling, she may have outgrown him and needs a reason, the drinking will provide the opportunity. It's sad though, the husband is presented as a solid guy. She needs to do counseling separately for her own self. Can you imagine what the husband feels like having an unwelcomed sexual partner? Leave him and let someone else truly respect and treasure him.

[@Matt-cr4vv]

I married my HS sweetheart and there was a period of time where I questioned myself and what I was missing out on that others my age were experiencing. I think that’s a natural feeling you can experience if you do get married young but I’ll always be thankful that I never acted on that to give up what I have. It’s naturally a hard conversation for them to have I’d imagine because it would be really hard to hear someone say this to you and to try and grasp why you’re not good enough and why someone feels this need to be with someone else. But I genuinely think this is often a grass is greener thing that rarely turns out the way the fantasy says it will. Part of what helped me push past any thoughts of that stuff was honestly having single friends and seeing how that life wasn’t the dream that I was convincing myself it was. I really hope that they can work through this and find the happiness with each other such as her husband actively courting her and making things exciting for her so she can get that feeling with him rather than thinking it has to be chased elsewhere. Because walking away from someone that it seems has been really solid for her through so many difficult times because there’s some allure of the grass is greener on the other side is almost certain to be disapointing and it’s hard to wonder how the things that follow will impact how she feels. It’s scary to imagine how harmful it may be to her if she does this and it doesn’t turn out how she wants it to go, because jumping into the open market to have no strings attached relationships is not likely to do any positives to her self worth and she won’t have her husband to come back to after that happens.

[@WillowT442]

I wish you were around a long time ago….. unfortunately I did tell my ex husband what I needed and he just thought it was too hard. He thought the answer was to blow up the whole thing by having an affair. He thought our reconciliation was all that needed to be done. So he left because he just wanted to start all over again with someone else because he didn’t have the courage to look at himself and any mistakes he had made. He was fine with me admitting to all of my own mistakes and doing the work to own my part. So he just blew up our whole family, cracked my kids foundation of their life. It was the most heartbreaking thing was after we told the kids my son cried to me and told me to not let this happen. I was in tears because I didn’t know how to tell him I had been trying and it was no longer up to me. His dad had moved on.

[@b7Hn4eX8yv4m]

Unless you're literally an alcohol taster, I can't think of a job that "includes" consuming alcohol... That's definitely an excuse.

[@DarthBalsamic]

Good on my guy here. Great work here. Best stuff by John I've seen.

[@Bluecollarjoe6B9]

This isn't Rocket Science, she's not attached to the dude anymore. Just divorce the guy and leave him in peace so he can find a woman who will appreciate his stability and loyalty. Then go and enjoy your freedom.

[@stealthswim223]

She wants to sleep around and betray her husband that has been with her for 17 years. Yeah……………..

[@tarzan9833]

She’s not gona fix nothing by sleeping with other people she’s still feel like crap inside

[@britneyog9537]

She doesn't love him. She needs to get out before hurting him more.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

Don’t think she’s capable of loving anyone right now but herself. Unfortunately when she leaves him in a couple years she will be wondering what happened to her life.

[@knattttt]

Chico CA, The home of Sierra Nevada Brewing! Love what you do Dr. John 🤘

[@sieman78]

Way to handle the caller with kid gloves. The marriage is over, un-salvageable, she no longer wants the guy, he's ''boring'', too nice.........the same way he was when she chose to marry the guy. Giving up marriage to get passed around.....great gal.

[@BlackJezuzBaby]

Yup! Marriage is over. He should had just told her to get a divorce and move on. Sucks for the husband because he did everything right.

[@coureenlawrence4915]

You are so right, she married him because he was there for her. Now she is meeting people especially different men, now she feels like she has missed out. Just sad.

[@BirdDogey1]

Delony doesn't call balls and strikes. He never calls women out on their bullshit.

[@SQUELCH-zj7il]

This is why people shouldn't marry young without dating experience. It's Destined to fail nowadays

[@philwill0123]

He doesn't tell her to end the marriage for simple reason. It's not his job. If he tells someone to end it he has the angry ex coming after him for "turning them against me". Then the caller can claim leaving was Dr John's idea and not hers. A good counsellor lays out the scenario and asks caller to make their own decision. Only time you don't do that is when caller is at immediate risk of harm.

[@damicothebest]

This is crazy. Why does the husband have to do all that considering he’s said to be a nice guy. Now to bandaid her traitorous issues he has to go surprise her at work and all that. Horrible advice considering he’s already keeping his end of the bargain.

[@Matt-cr4vv]

Because that’s how marriage works you donut. That whole sickness and health and for better or worse thing you say in your vows means when your wife is struggling and needs more from her husband to help work through something that the husband does that. The idea that he’s a nice guy so he’s held up his end of the bargain so why would he take any further efforts to help his wife’s needs is silly. So many marriages tank because people adapt this attitude and get to this stage where courting their spouse is unreasonable. Sometimes you partner is in a low and you have to do more than you’d think and maybe that’s surprising then at work. That is an incredibly easy thing to do and means the world to your wife and makes a huge difference. And even smaller stuff you do for your spouse means a lot when they realize you cared enough to think of them without being asked for it. Clearly you don’t grasp that aspect because clearly marriage doesn’t in involve hard times or sacrifice.

[@Shay-yg7nm]

I think this woman had very valid points but trust me, the grass is not greener on the other side. Don't give up a good man to go searching for something else.

[@mscott1997]

She comes across as self-centered and unappreciative. Those two things, alcohol aside, are a recipe for disaster.

[@davidlatting3789]

I have a feeling she’s on the brink of having an affair and really blowing up her marriage. She’ll destroy a good guy who really loves her if she does.

[@reginasemenenko148]

I don't drink, but my husband sometimes does. I can't do anything when he is under the influence because my father had a major drinking problem and he was very violent when he became drunk. It seems that many people use alcohol as medication instead of dealing with the issues.

[@sebastien6530]

She is 100 percent going to cheat

[@KitCatForever777]

In a month or two, we are going to see a story on Reddit from her husband telling how she cheated and blindsided him and how he took her back and she kept cheating.

[@texan903]

Don't be surprised if she's already cheated. She's deeply insecure and lacks impulse control and responds to any type of positive attention, even if it's temporary.

[@jeromehenry4484]

@@texan903 Caller has already been having an affair, his name is ALCOHOL! All this crying and blaming is a smokescreen for her alcoholism. Husband needs to divorce ASAP, there are plenty of women out there that do not need alcohol to endure sex, they actually like sex while sober.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

@@jeromehenry4484 bro I’m around their age and the options of women to choose from are crazy. I’m in a relationship but if her husband gets dumped by her once he works it out, he will have no issues if he is a decent guy, moderately attractive, and have a decent income.

[@WilingtonProductions]

She already did

[@leapheap6837]

You can’t give up Leigh. Continue to fight and communicate with your husband.

[@WilingtonProductions]

This chick can go to the streets where she belongs

[@dougturner9859]

Pretty sure she’s already cheated. If it were a guy he’d have asked…

[@BirdDogey1]

Thought was my thought. She almost admitted it.

[@weekendnomad5038]

I remember going through this and this means there’s a disconnect here somewhere mentally. Focus on rebuilding the intimacy. Here’s a link to a wand I love. It gets me in the mood/ husband is trying to be sweet but you’re clearly checked out

[@illuminati7767]

Lol no its just you being the harpy you truly are.

[@oncetwice5942]

This sounds like a case of marrying too young, then feeling like she has missed out on her youthful years. Now she is trying to live the lifestyle she feels she missed out on. Also, I think she feels trapped in her marriage.

[@GIZREED]

This is the case of feminism teaching women to sleep around till 30, and then try to catch them a simp after being ran thru.

[@kellharris2491]

​@@GIZREED this is a case of a woman still grieving her parents and adoption. Also what is up with her husband sleeping with her while she is drinking? Doesn't he see something wrong?

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Cheap thrills don’t fill.

[@zeal4god402]

Yup. They're all shallow & transient

[@terriesmith2616]

She's going to find that out when she divorce her husband. She'll chase all the Chads and Tyrones, they'll pumped and dumped her, ghosted her, that's when she'll realize cheap thrills don't fill. She'll come begging to her ex-husband, hopefully he doesn't take her back.

[@user-he6rs8xi7u]

She'll get filled.

[@thekizerapproach]

I wonder what his reaction would be if this was done by a man.

[@myopinions1]

He's giving her too much credit. She needs a man to set her straight. You don't need to drink at business events. Order club soda.

[@michaelh2282]

Unfortunately, if you want to do well in sales, yes you better drink or at least learn to pretend like you're drinking. It's a key part in developing business relationships in semi-informal settings Unless you plan on only doing business with teetotalers. Most normal people instinctively trust people less who don't drink in a group setting where there's alcohol because they think the non-drinker either is afraid of accidentally saying what he "really" thinks, or wants to have the "advantage" in being sober when talking with others, or he doesn't have the self-control in drinking. And trust is critical in developing long term business relationships. In her case, if she's at a bar, ask the waiter for an orange juice and water mix. She can say it's a screwdriver, and none will be wiser.

[@myopinions1]

@@michaelh2282 you can literally get any drink that isn't alcoholic and no one cares they care if you have a cup in your hand that's it.

[@skincareceo]

Everyone drinks at business events, you sound young. Lol.

[@michaelh2282]

@@skincareceo I never said "everyone drinks." I only said drinking is a major component in semi-informal settings where you are developing business relationships. It's obviously not the only one. And my age, as is yours, is irrelevant to your point.

[@addiskassa5165]

He might spoiled her a lot!😀

[@KS-cl8br]

For many getting married to young is problematic.

[@kc-il4sb]

Right - we are supposed to evolve and change- it often doesn’t work well with early marriage or being with one person your whole early life- duh-sorry not sorry.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Getting married older isn’t any different if the work didn’t get done . Some can’t handle commitment and don’t get married but still have bad relationships.

[@texan903]

She is using her problems as an excuse. Even if she divorces her husband, she will have fun temporarily but once the novelty wears off, she will be much worse off than she's ever been before. Her husband is the casualty of her helplessness and excuse making.

[@whitneyw.7919]

You didn't listen to the video. They didn't get married young, they dated a LONG time before marriage - 10 years so they probably married in late 20's You're really saying that people shouldn't date in high school or college because that's basically what this is, which actually isn't a bad idea

[@Urbanplumbingsystems]

@@kc-il4sb getting married young has worked for thousands of year until sex became transactional

[@jacoblynch9862]

This woman definitely needs a lot of help losing parents that young is definitely tragic. However, your husband telling you he cannot live life without you does not mean he depends on you. It means he actually loves you that much second of all when you claim you have to be drunk just to initiate sex, that's just on you that has nothing to do with your past experiences that as an excuse, you are simply either attracted to your husband and want him sexually or you don't. You do need to figure that out third of all I never have understood why so many people think they need to sleep with hundreds of people because they're missing out if the sex is good and pleasurable for both of you and both of you can have your orgasms. What more do you need and how are you missing out

[@lexalee5795]

I agree but honestly, sometimes love ❤️ just dies, with no explanation at all. I think she just doesn’t love him anymore. Sadly the first signs of a woman losing love for a man is she no longer wants sex or has a sexual attraction to their partner.

[@addiskassa5165]

Wow! Well said, As you said what is the point and satisfaction to sleep or experiencing so many peoples body? That is lust..You will be judged by God, what is wrong with people always worried what they feed their ego and this dies flesh...what about your spirit, your soul??? Read the Bible king Solomon story..that might help!!! May Almighty God peace in you!!!🙏🙏🙏

[@jacoblynch9862]

@@addiskassa5165 and furthermore, I would like to add if you do find that special partner or the two of you are happy what's wrong with the two of you exploring your sexuality together to figure out what works with each other that's with the both of you should be doing both of you

[@addiskassa5165]

@@lexalee5795 that's very sad situation specially if the children involved, people became lazy on to another beside social media big impact for those kind of silly excuses, I always do my best side even my husband not the same page with me, you should do that the sake of your children, Men are always need to be directed, marriage is not is road but you try your best effort not to see dying. Good luck for all humans who struggling every situation with the help of God!!!🙏🙏🙏

[@whitneyw.7919]

Sleeping with more people = more external validation because inside you don't feel that good or important. It's not about the orgasms. Probably caused by childhood issues at least in part, but very destructive. Also, she needs to manage her alcoholism

[@carolyn683]

Your aren't going to find anyone better then your husband that you have. Stick with him and get some counseling. There isn't anything wrong with your husband being more quite and reserved. And if you stop drinking it might help find your true self.

[@libertysprings2244]

Oh gosh. I wish I could give them both a hug. Please stay with your great husband. Just trust me you won't regret it in 20 years. He sounds like he'll be an amazing Dad too 🥰. And all those supposedly fun party guys at work will turn into couch potatoes too as soon as they're married. It's just a show to get you to do something you'll regret forever. They may say they'll take you dancing but that's just before marriage for 99% of them. As you get older you'll learn to be happy with yourself and won't yearn for that thing that feels missing at age 30. Most likely you just want kids. Tell him.

[@KitCatForever777]

The party guys won't get married. They are Chad's and Tyrone's. She will get pumped and dumped and in a couple of years, she will be crawling back to her husband asking for a second chance only to find he has moved on.

[@user-he6rs8xi7u]

She's already gone.

[@solitatorres3682]

Just came across your channel😊, really enjoy your content!!!

[@nickywaggs8672]

Her hypergamy is knocking at the door and she’s ready to answer it. It’s in every woman’s nature. “Can I do better?”

[@mysticmama_3692]

Every woman? I don't think so. Of course there are some with that mentality, but most that I know, including myself throw ourselves into being with our partners 100% even in hard times. It's like saying "men are cheaters"...it's not right to just generalize. Because while more men cheat than women (based on current stats) it's not ALL men and isn't inherently "in their nature". There are just good and bad people in both genders.

[@nouton7432]

u make your own choose, i stop drinking and smoking so far about 6years in 10days and i start drinking and smoking when i was around 9years old my mom left me when i was 12years old my father left me when i was around 20-22years old and all i can say the only one you can control is yourself all action you do if you cheat thats on you not on anyone.

[@jeromehenry4484]

Congratulations on your sobriety!

[@betitos11]

Seems like she wants somebody else and is trying to use it all as excuses. Just go be with someone else girl and when you realize you've been used and abused come back crying to your husband for forgiveness and hope he takes you back 🙄🙄

[@KitCatForever777]

I hope he kicks her to the curb.

[@janedoe-hk5lt]

This was my sister, husband of 13yrs and she met a man who made her feel ALIVE, then he introduced her to the drug that was making HIM feel alive and she lost her life because of it.

[@David-wo9un]

Once they get past the age of 30, many women(not all) realize there are lots of men they may have missed out on; she wants to cash in on the opportunity to ride the CC before it’s too late.

[@carolallison9685]

My husband and i have a Dom/sub relationship, so my brain cant even understand this phenomenon. I couldnt imagine leaving my husband for some other guy. Honestly i think most people are boring and have nothing to offer, so marriages get stagnant. Then add in that women want to be men and men are scared to be masculine. Its all a huge mess.

[@dakotasikes6690]

I don't get how John can blame this dude for not trying when he's been perfect for 17yrs then getting told she's wanting to be with other people no wonder he's not trying

[@Nah-ah]

Ooff… this hits close to home for me! Lost my parents as a child and then my foster parents yrs later I struggle to get close to anyone and even struggle to find my own identity and buried all of it under education and work!

[@mxusa8383]

All those “reasons” she mentioned in the call were only her way to rationalize and justify her feelings to cheat on her husband. She’s developing the cheater mindset. This call if you read between the lines was she wants to cheat but she knows it’s wrong what should I do. Her body wants the coworker but her brain in her head is telling her pump the brakes your body is for your husband. She feels like she’s cheating on her coworker and her body when she’s with her husband. She has to drink to relax and “cheat” on her body and coworker when she sleeps with her husband. So many woman go through this and it has nothing to do with losing parents or being fostered. Woman from good stable 2 parent homes do the same things. She’s bored and wants the tingles, very standard female behavior.

[@illuminati7767]

Eventually youre going to have to grow up and stop being a victim and actually be an adult.

[@gbear34]

All of the stupidity between high school and "settling down" is empty. If it wasn't, people would never settle down. She got to skip all of that, and now wants to go backwards.

[@kw3113]

So when she got married she didn’t realize it meant no other men ever? I’m confused I guess.

[@sallyspits]

Press F for this poor husband.

[@landonlowe4029]

7 year itch ... SMH uh oh

[@Hopewv1]

This story is EXACTLY like mine, except my parents didn't pass when I was younger. I feel her struggles. I don't want anything to do with sex except for when drunk.

[@nealiecruz2532]

Leigh Yes, you’ve been w your husband for 17 years but I will tell u this. You don’t know him like you think you do. Yes, you feel like you two know each other so well to the point of boredom. You guys can probably finish each other’s sentences and feel like you know each others likes, dislikes, habits, etc….. I’m older, and I will tell you that it takes a lifetime to really know someone. People are always growing, changing, and becoming. Have you stopped being aware of and paying attention to your relationship?? This relationship u describe sounds like the biggest blessing heaven sent, especially after all the loss you have experienced. Graciously accept this huge blessing and get busy discovering this person you married while letting him discover you and who you’ve become. The sad truth is, one day either he will pass or you will and hopefully one of you will be left with beautiful memories of the other. Take date nights and dress up. Take vacations or staycations and spoil each other. Say I love you everyday. Don’t take your connection for granted. The grass is not greener. Spice up your lives together. Include him in your thoughts and feelings. Have those deep conversations. Have light conversations. Have fun!! And push yourself a little bit to initiate sex when you’re stone cold sober and rediscover the person you love and loves you ❤️‍🩹

[@laurao8099]

I'm a pretty carefree peacemaker type of person who has very little trauma in my past, but I still would never want a man to say he can't live without me or anything similar to that. I want a man who chooses me and chooses to fight for me and our relationship

[@BlackStump172]

Well my husband knows that he will have to live without me , as I have told him that I am going to die first .😁 I have also told him that if he remarries then I will come back and haunt him . 👻 47 years of marriage . No cheating ever . You sort your problems over time , but no infidelity.

[@sandicook10]

Sounds like she has a drinking problem more than anything else.

[@nt3833]

That’s just surface - it’s what’s behind the drinking. She drinks to escape and be somebody else for a while.

[@njfuentesrespecter81]

Here’s the thanks you get for being loyal and supporting a girl through her worst times.

[@futurefunk88eddins96]

As a man out here in the dating field I can't be solely responsible for someone else's happiness these women are carrying so much trauma and baggage I'm starting to resign myself to its game over for a woman to come into my life with realistic thoughts it's the end times truly the end times

[@brandonm1881]

Self destruction is sought after in this one

[@kekejefferson9219]

This title was hilarious!

[@Kermit46]

She cheated

[@reserved845]

8:53 Damn, this is cold.

[@stevenphillippe81]

Imma be honest having a little liquor just spices things up in my opinion. She just doesn’t like the approach part of things.

[@angryox3102]

And people wonder why men don’t want to get married. Treat a woman well and then she wants a divorce.

[@aleksandrac9335]

why are you assuming he is treating her well ?

[@angryox3102]

@@aleksandrac9335 I watched the video 2 months ago so I don’t recall all the details. But from what I remember she didn’t her complaining about the guy treating her poorly, just that he was boring.

[@stevezelaznik5872]

Her only complaint about him during a 30 minute call was that he didn’t dress up well enough to her liking when they went out on dates. Maybe the husband could do different to keep the spark going. What’s clear is that if that’s true, the caller doesn’t know how to articulate her needs to him.

[@whitneyw.7919]

this is a high functioning alcoholic... also, alcoholics often have trouble appreciating the people around them or embracing "real life" i.e. sober life w/ a husband, etc. and the perpetual dissatisfaction probably won't be solved by leaving marriage. You have to come to your own peace and acknowledge and accept life for what it is, the good and the bad.

[@ffrnando4388]

She just needs some good ramming to get it over with

[@rogermarr9067]

So I just started listening to this and as soon as she talked about she didn't get to experience other people her youth passed her by.. I'm going to say just divorce your husband and go get drilled every weekend for a while it is the same story over and over again that you hear where women say oh I didn't get to experience this or experience that and it's horrible it is I just don't understand why women will be willing to throw away what they have which is probably pretty good especially if she's been with this man for what 17 years all to hump some other people like you've made choices in life just accept them but just don't cheat on the guy secretly just leave them and just tell them why you want to hump other people All right now to listen to the full episode and to hear what the professional says cuz I know I'm probably way off base

[@magenta7702]

The only thing wrong here is that she hasn't experienced heartbreak 💔, hurt, cheat, pain, weakness, anger, dissapointment, ect in the dating world, once she experiences all these she will better understand who a good or bad guy is...💯

[@texan903]

Listening to her, she is clearly using her issues as an excuse to try to find an escape from the marriage. That's really unfortunate for the husband. He's married to an awful person. She thinks her life will improve by stepping out of the marriage or divorcing, things will only get worse for her. Her message translated: "I want to keep my husband as my provider, for the stability and security but I still want to go chase Chad."

[@melissam7067]

Disagree. she's broken.

[@texan903]

@@melissam7067 her husband is going to be the biggest casualty of this broken woman's destruction.

[@BirdDogey1]

Delony claims to be a Christian but doesn't give Christian advice. Cheating is a terrible sin. She is married to a good guy and doesn't appreciate what she has. He isn't perfect because no one is. She should appreciate what she has. Many people wish they had what she has. He hasn't done anything wrong. She needs to grow up.

[@closalbert2017]

This caller needs better friends that will not tell her stuff… she see them having fun and sleeping around and she thinks is fun and all but it’s not. Damn it what’s going on with the world and females not satisfied with their significant other. Love God, love yourself and trust me the rest will come into place for you in abundance. Stop chasing the devil leah

[@matthewmatthew3955]

I dated a girl like this. She was broken inside

[@lestercaldera3776]

We don’t experience in this life what’s the point Marriage? That is it

[@kellharris2491]

Her husband sleeps with her when she is drinking? Gosh. She needs to handle her parents grief.

[@jeremyfree2fish586]

2 x out of ten that would be horrible for the husband im surprised her call isn't about something else crazy

[@carterbaumer358]

What a brave call to make

[@amiramahgoub]

To drink just to have sex! Is not an option for me. If I don't love him anymore then why I have to torment and num my body? It sad to hear this. If he cheat and just wanna come back to me for sex, then it's no longer gonna last that marriage.

[@americanman5908]

Going through a tough marriage? Would you like your wife to blow up your marriage and your life? No problem! have her tune into to this program to get step by step instructions for how to do so.

[@ts8024]

Sounds like they've grown apart. He's pretty much in the same comfortable place and she has changed. It seems she's ready to leave the marriage and date other people, which she didn't get to do in her late teens and early 20s. And is more than likely interacting with other men she feels attraction for. However, she feels guilty at the thought of leaving her husband because he's a good guy, and was very supportive when she lost her parents.

[@crzyruskie86]

Her "needs" should have been out there before he married her so he had the chance to make a choice whether it was ok with him. She robbed him of his time if it doesnt work. If they divorce, she shouldnt be entitled to anything of his because she lied from the beggining.

[@VL20190]

Not really. She married because she was young and loved him and still does. My husband and I talk about what if we both met younger. It wouldn’t have worked out because we were both different people and had to go through what we went through in life to get to meet each other.

[@VL20190]

When you marry someone , don’t expect them to be same for rest of their lives. Your spouse changes in time and you have to keep dating them and always develop new interest and hobbies. Its an adventure.

[@texan903]

@@VL20190 she loves the security and stability her husband provides, but she obviously wants someone else for the thrills. This is the worst type of person to be married to, what a nightmare.

[@ZacharyBowler12]

Sleeping around will not make you feel better. Poor husband. Lol.