My Mother-in-Law Verbally Slapped Me by Demanding a Paternity Test... | Reddit Updates

[@brusselsproutses]

shes better than me i would have told the mum that her living there caused me enough stress to misscarrige

[@Heydodoakskdkdjf]

Miscarry, keep the baby in secret, and never put his name on the birth certificate.

[@brusselsproutses]

@@Heydodoakskdkdjf nah then she would still be tied to him. what do you think will happen when the kid asks where their fathers at?

[@thatjeff7550]

That was my thought as well. "I miscarried yesterday. The doctor said it was due to all the stress I was under. I blame you and your mother." And then block both of them.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

@@Heydodoakskdkdjf She was already blasé about the baby from all the problem MIL was causing that it was better for her and the baby to terminate. I’m sure if MIL had kept her trap shut, the pregnancy would have progressed with a loving mother, but she killed that through her constant nagging and doubting. Personally, I would have told her if I wanted a parent that was constantly monitoring everything I did, including how long it takes for me to sh*t, I would have stayed at home with my own parents!

[@Furrina89]

​@@Heydodoakskdkdjfif there is a human with his DNA walking around, u are ALWAYS connected. Even if u give the kid for adoption, that kid would have wanted to connect with his bio family

[@Chonkula]

I'm glad OP got away. Call me crazy, but part of me thinks OP's ex and his mom just wanted her to be an incubator for them. The vibes are off.

[@IzzyPR2010]

I suspect some of the people who were telling her not to end it also saw her as an incubator. Also that MIL was very controlling and husband allowed her to pay for everything, the home, the medical bills, WTF was he doing with his money as he supposedly was doing so well?

[@nicksuazo4377]

​@IzzyPR2010 Having fun. Makes me think the cheating accusation was a smokescreen for OPs ex husband. OP was right to got through termination, no one in the story is fit to raise a child. OP may feel numb and empty now, but she'll get better with time. It's also sad to see how shallow people are when OPs ex friends only reached out about her pregnancy.

[@BusArch42]

@@nicksuazo4377agreed. He was cheating

[@geenhern]

No, this is disgusting. She likely knew his mom was like this before she married him, some people will not be fake or hide their nature. She should take some accountability but y'all will coddling her bc she told one side of the story & begged for validation on the internet.

[@FaizatheTempest]

​@@geenhernY'all will do anything to blame women for being abused 🙄

[@pretzelicious4200]

They agreed that she wouldn't have to see his mom. Next thing she knows: the MIL moved in. I'm glad OP is running for the hills

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Can you imagine someone standing outside the bathroom door knocking saying you are taking too long? Like WTF…can’t even take a crap without being hounded by the dogs!

[@turkizno]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 Precisely - Abusive parents, are whom do that. Same case with me, as soon as I could I dipped the heck out of the family house!

[@nancythane5672]

​​@@stirrednotshaken4823I think MIL had a clue that OP would terminate ~~AND THANK THE GODS SHE DID!! NOT ONLY FOR HER MENTAL STATE, BUT FOR THE UTTER **HELL** OP AND THAT 'CHILD' WOULD HAVE GONE THROUGH~~UNTIL MIL & DADDY 'GOT RID OF' OP...

[@-cupcakestudios-]

To not only not say anything to your mother but leave your wife in the dust is absolutely horrible. It's even more worse to ask immediately if its not even your son's.

[@fivelittlemonkees]

My deceased mother in law did this. He told her i was pregnant and she said...is it yours? If hr had demanded a test i would have left him.

[@-cupcakestudios-]

@@fivelittlemonkees I'm sorry that happened. I do hope things are going well now-a-days!

[@rebeccaeubank1169]

​@fivelittlemonkees I know exactly how that feels

[@illidanST7F]

''He seemed very certain that he can keep her away until we get the results'' This right here, he didnt say he would keep her away, hes just saying he ''can'' not that he ''will'' Edit: yep hes full of shit like with the doctor appointment Glad shes better, i get the ppl saying she would regret it later, but its not up to them, shes right, if shes gonna hate the baby thats not a good enviroment for anyone. Also its totally normal to fell out of love with someone that fast, Love requires work, its like building a jenga tower, if a romantic partner does something really shocking its the same as taking out the base brick, stuff like these, or hitting a partner or kicking a dog right in front of you, actions have reactions.

[@cynthiaoconnor7185]

You can fall out of love in an instant. I was in love with my husband when he said he wanted a divorce. It threw me into a depression-like state. I begged him not to leave, as we had a two year old daughter. Then, I asked him to go to therapy. He said no. I finally asked if there was another woman? He said no again, that he just didn't want to be married to me. I felt horrible about myself as he said I was fat. Then I discovered through a friend that he had been seeing another woman even before he asked for a divorce. In that second I lost all love for him. I had been faithful, loving him so much, but he couldn't keep his pants on. We divorced. So, OP, don't let anyone else shame you for falling out of love. It takes trust to love someone and, if they destroy that trust, love will leave.

[@michellealjunaidi8471]

That's when you leave and take your child with you. He can go live his life. You can be happy on your own and cutting contact with him permanently. He doesn't deserve to be a father the POS.

[@diffsnicker]

Now that you know what it's like quit asking men what they did to make their wives cheat.

[@diffsnicker]

​@@michellealjunaidi8471yikes. Amber alert much? Or are you not responsible and accountable cause you're a woman?

[@fredericksaxton9782]

​@@diffsnicker That's so weird of you to lump all women together and put words in this random woman's mouth. You say that to her like she personally hurt you. Who said she'd ever say that about a man to begin with??? Not all women are the same just like you say "not all men", remember????? If it's not all men, then it's not all women. And what??? By your logic...apparently cheating when you have a wife and child is somehow "responsible"????? If anything, taking the kids and cutting contact *IS* responsible. The child doesn't need the influence of a shallow minded cheater. Why does he deserve a relationship with the kid he also betrayed by being a cheater????? Stop being delusional. You can't act like women are all bad and then proceed to be one of those guys who trys to take *EVERY* situation and try and make the man a victim every... single... time. How bout saving your bs for when a man is *ACTUALLY* a victim, y'know, like a normal person?????

[@aza7866]

​@@diffsnickerwhat a miserable person you are

[@DarkChrystal21]

Nope, glad op terminated the pregnancy otherwise she'd be stuck to those abusive people the rest of her life, let the lawyer handle everything from now on, the Op can move and start fresh somewhere else, she already didn't have a connection to the child growing inside of her so it was best she terminated the child and leave that scumbag of an ex, she can find someone who deserves her more, wishing her all the best.

[@JjJjJ200]

Gaslight much? Oh you think I'm cheating well then you're abusive...i think the reaction proved she was cheating.

[@meangengar8053]

@@JjJjJ200 reaction isn't a proof. the parental test prooved that she didnt cheat

[@babsbybend]

​@@JjJjJ200 MIL treated her horribly, and husband is still connected to her bu the umbilical cord. What kind of person stands outside the bathroom door and times how long you're in there, orders you around, and treats you with constant distain for no other reason than you are alive?

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@meangengar8053 The test didn't prove she didn't cheat, just that he was the father.

[@AkhtarM28]

The mother in law and her husband were scums, sure, but she is no saint for killing an unborn child out of spite. I see why she married a loser, she’s no saint.

[@OC_DEFENSE]

Imagine if OP kept the baby. OP would've been in labor and MIL would've been in the room 'coaching' OP.

[@cathyjolivet]

CRITICIZING how OP handled labor.

[@hollywu7768]

Blaming OP for having a c section instead normal birth

[@catherinep2034]

Taking the baby as soon as he or she was born. They wouldn't need OP anymore.

[@slayermoon666]

The mil would’ve been in the morgue if I were op, just saying.

[@ReinetteRenee16]

They may have been legally married, but nothing about that man felt like a husband. Felt like a little boy who couldn't cut the cord. He normalized the abuse of his mother. Even if she wasn't as bad as OPs family, it was still bad enough to be that trigger.

[@PizzaLover379]

The way OP just assumes she's the one at fault for how she feels is heartbreaking. She needs help and a lot of the things she said about herself makes it sound as if someone else said those things to her. I hope she gets the help she needs and the friends she deserves.

[@geenhern]

She likely knew his mom was like this before she married him, and there could have been signs they should not have been together from the beginning... But yes she's got low self esteem & begged for a pity party on Reddit, so she can dodge accountability & murder a child.

[@zaddyfaye6880]

reddit was probably the worst place to turn to, too. literally an incel haven

[@Phoenix-mh5eo]

I feel really sad that OP thinks she is deeply unwell. Especially because of falling out of love. When a loved one betrays you in the way he did, it's shifts your fundamental understanding of who that person is. You may have to fall in love with them again, or you may realize you can't love who they actually are/who they "became" because it's too at odds with your own goals and life.

[@claireleone]

Hes a huge mummys boy ... He should of shut his mother down immediately, thats his family , a natural progression after marriage. Id definitely divorce

[@slayermoon666]

He wanted mommy’s ninny and money

[@ogieoglethorpe3788]

i am a vindictive vengeful person towards people who treat me badly. i would go and get the paternity test and have an appointment for termination scheduled the next day. after they read the results i would have revealed the pregnancy was terminated the next day and walked out of the house.

[@alexjeffrey3981]

Savage, but justified

[@catch22ash]

Same

[@fabianafagundezmuniz8119]

OMG saaameee

[@RodneyRichards-rk3ud]

killing a child cause your vindictive. i see. what did the child do to deserve that?

[@DaddyIsntDoneSpeaking]

Well, they're not born yet. ​@@RodneyRichards-rk3ud

[@lindavaughn-fisher8144]

Run!! Get away from these abusers!!! Divorce!! He didn't even protect you from his crazzy mother!! This will just continue!! Protect yourself!!

[@Kinsfire]

Ex-MIL will probably do everything she can to destroy OPs life. That sort of a See You Next Tuesday can't stand it when the abused gets away from them. "They're supposed to stay and be abused, dammit! That's the only reason they exist!"

[@ladyofthemasque]

Don't be fooled by conservative fearmonger lies. The vast majority of people who make that choice actually end up feeling relief, and after 5 years, approximately 95% say it turned out to be the best decision, not just the right decision. 19 versus 1, folks. That's a lot of No Regrets In The End.

[@sir-ani8927]

The last comment op made was a year ago and it seems she planned the divorce to start in January. Hopefully she got what she needed and is mentally safe by now

[@romancetips365]

She's never going to be mentally safe. She is a certified nut job.

[@julesa2894]

Her dumbass husband drank the Kool Aid and turned on his wife thinking she cheated. He is a coward. She has every right to leave. It will only get worse

[@minsteralofmaddnes1159]

while im not for abortion myself this was the best option for OP a spiteful part of me would have wanted her to keep the baby away from mil and the ex in secret but with how she already described her own feelings and thoughts to the baby and the pregnancy over all it would not have been fair the baby ether so this was the best option in the end.

[@TheQUBANQT]

I’m glad she prioritized herself & her mental wellbeing. She made the right choice. I can imagine how stuck she’d feel if she had a child. I literally can imagine bc I had a friend who had a similar situation. She was genuinely happy newly wed & fell pregnant. He expressed doubts bc they’d only had unprotected sex during the honeymoon. Well for religious reasons she had the child. She believed abortion was a sin. She resented the child & ended up committing suicide 3 years after the birth. She never got over her husband’s treatment & loss all trust in him. Motherhood only compounds the resentment & she couldn’t get a divorce (also a sin). In the end all that sacrifice was for nothing bc she committed suicide which is also a sin in her religion. All she did was suffer for three years and still ended up sinning and costing her life. It all seem pointless to me in the end and I felt really bad for her. I don’t know what happened to the child or the husband.

[@rukiakuchiki6187]

I hope op leave because abuse isn't ok

[@togashima30]

All I can really say is OP also needed some medical advice regarding her trauma. She will never move passed to that if she will always hide with her panic attacks. OP needed that badly.

[@creepynugget6641]

No, she didn't. It would've been horrible for her, being tied to those monsters and bringing up a kid in that situation would've ended badly. Kids aren't 'fix all', they are responsibilities and people who need care and love. And their was no love or care in that situation.

[@togashima30]

@creepynugget6641 hence the more of a reason that she should seek psychological treatment. She didn't feel anything for the child, and even worse for herself, also. And the reason for that was because of her traumatic past.

[@togashima30]

@creepynugget6641 I understand her point of not wanting to bring the "child" to life, but I still will advise her to seek medical assistance about her mental health.

[@Lauria2875]

@@creepynugget6641 Where did they mention keeping the kid? She needs help dealing with her trauma. Tip toeing around the house, trying to make yourself invisible, making no sounds. That is NOT normal behavior to having had a fight the night before. It is a trauma response from her childhood that she needs to work out. Feeling numb. Having no feeling about anything. Clasic depresion. She's already having thoughts of "I must be defective" because of the numbness. As someone who has dealt with clinical depression from childhood, those thoughts can quickly turn into suicidal ideation and actual attempts verry, very quickly.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 1: Spineless husband; how dare you accuse your wife of acting guilty because she reacted negatively to the paternity test! You knew that she has been extremely faithful to you and the fact that your mother insisted on one is a slap to the face for someone who never cheated! If you had any brains and spine; you would know this!

[@IzzyPR2010]

As someone else had pointed out, there's a chance he was the one cheating and that's where all his money was going as "mommy" was the one paying all the bills.

[@JjJjJ200]

If she acted that negatively she probably was cheating. No excuse for the slap but definitely was cheating.

[@UpeLkUchEn]

@@JjJjJ200 She acted negatively because of the slap. And anyone would try to defend themselves against such accusations. If you were accused of doing something you didn't, would you just take it? No. You would try to defend yourself and deny it. And sure you can act nonchalant about it, but you would still feel somewhat hurt at the accusation even if you weren't cheating. Just because you react differently doesn't other people will act the same.

[@cww2490]

She should have reported that office asking about husband consent. She or others there need to be fired, or at least blacklisted with bad reviews.

[@erenjeager4308]

I’m glad she got rid of the baby. That baby would grow up in a toxic environment if she kept it. I hope she finds a partner and family who actually care about her and trust her. Edit: if you’re a pro-lifer. Do not interact with my comment. Y’all are genuinely annoying.

[@archita7944]

not only that but that baby would forever keep her tied to the husband and the MIL, i’m glad she’s free

[@erenjeager4308]

@ omg I didn’t even think of that. You’re right.

[@alesosouto]

"I’m glad she butchered her baby" OMG

[@voicesofjoi545]

​@@archita7944 You are so right!

[@jongault7527]

I remember when I was 15, my parents adopted my little brother. He's a High School Principal now... shame on all of you....

[@clemdane]

Her MIL and husband sound dangerous to me. I would be worried about their even knowing where she works or staying in the same town. She has reduced much of the danger by terminating, though I could see the MIL going after her for doing that. These people sound like they come from a country/culture where the husband's family owns the wife and her offspring. Even the fact that the abortion clinic said she needed her husband's written consent make me wonder if she lives in a country where women don't have full rights. She should be very careful.

[@rowan5335]

Basically they made you feel as unsafe as you did growing up. If you are going through a crisis and you feel numb it does not mean you don't feel anything. It means you are feeling so much you have basically burned it out. You need to wait until your system comes back online and don't make any decisions you cannot reverse when you feel numb or overwhelmed.

[@WavegirlThinks]

That advice is not helpful, especially in the case of pregnancy. Decisions usually have a time limit that is much sooner than the time it takes to work through your emotions. And when it comes to pregnancy, "not" making a decision IS a decision.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 1: I am glad that OP is going to divorce her toxic, spineless, narcissistic husband and in-laws!

[@Feather_crescentlunar]

I am so angry at every person that ever surrounded OP, I WOULD HAVE LEFT CARNAGE BEHIND ALL OF THAT. My anger issues could never leave anyone standing if any mfs think they could get away with this crap. Lawsuits and free docking for everyone

[@rhiarebecca2000]

Good luck to him ever having a long lasting relationship or a woman who wants to have a baby with him because damn his mum will ruin everything for him and he’ll just let it happen every time, mummy’s boy clearly

[@rhiarebecca2000]

Also he had the audacity to mention he was wanting a divorce but is mad when OP followed through with it 🥴

[@Yue_Jin]

The people telling her to keep it weren't looking after her best interests at all.

[@unikkorns]

Confused why MIL immediately came to the conclusion that OP cheated but guess I just don't understand crazy MIL logic. OP made all the smart choices especially getting away from those abusive aholes.

[@CATmetchu]

Some (not all ofc) of those crazy MILs have a semi inçestuous feelings towards their sons in which they project their dream husbands unto their sons and get jealous when their sons start dating and always think no one else but they are good enough for their son. It's very gross, but insane ppl exist.

[@annechoyrocks]

MIL is probably a former cheater, so she assumed everyone cheats.

[@CM-zw4hx]

My guess would be that MIL is stuck with an unfaithful husband she doesn't love, and that she's projecting. It's also fairly common if not healthy for "boy moms" to believe no potential partner is good enough for their sons. When the son chooses someone the mother doesn't like, they move to take control in other ways. People like the MIL don't seem to understand that just because they suffered at that same stage of life or are still suffering, that it doesn't give them the right to do unto others.

[@robins2819]

@@annechoyrocks Its not that, she most likely knew that OP was faithful. But planting that seed of doubt in her son's head got her exactly what she wanted, even if OP was faithful (which she was) and it was proven -- it was going to destroy their marriage regardless.

[@annechoyrocks]

@robins2819 then she's evil.

[@kibouhope]

I pray she found her happiness this time. May she find true love, supportive friends and loving family

[@Nooneinteresting470]

Super happy to actually see people supporting OP lol It's not something you see everyday hdhdhf

[@EphemeraImaging]

Never marry a momma's boy. Mummy will always come first. What a spineless, thoughtless husband: OP did everything right, including the termiantion. She would have had no authority over her own child in that situation.

[@jeannettecampbell8862]

So glad she’s out. There was something very very wrong with ex and his mother. Restraining order asap.

[@tinahardman1525]

Please don't bind yourself to that Mama's Boy!

[@Larchkty0324]

She doesn't have to bind herself. She could just give up custody or give the child up for adoption if the husband didn't want to keep the baby.

[@PositiveStellarLuckyAchiever]

Honestly, I've heard of many stories along these lines. Emotional incest is a real problem. Sending that mama's boy back to where he came from was *never going to teach him a lesson!* In a just regime, he would have had his "mother privileges" revoked, i.e. he would have been banned from contacting his mother ever again.

[@Nikkimommyof4]

That poor OP. I worry bout her because even though she's free of her husband and her MIL at least living with them she is still working at the same location so if they want to make her life a nightmare they will still know how to find her. I truly hope they will leave her alone. Also, I hope the next woman that spineless worm of a STBX finds to bring home to his mommy is far more dominant than even she can handle and I sincerely hope that new woman rules over the two of these fools with an iron fist. I hope she takes every dime they have and controls every moment of their lives without mercy. I want them to miss OP's kindness and regret every moment of what they put her through and really understand what it was like to be her. As for OP, I hope she finds herself a fantastic new group of real friends that support her regardless of who she is dating or married to. I also hope she gets a better paying job and moves to a place where she can feel safe and financially stable without the need for someone else to take care of her and she will get the therapeutic assistance she might need. And lastly, I hope in time, when she is ready, I hope she will find a partner that will cherish her for the wonderful person she is and won't try to change her or manipulate her and they will go on to have a long healthy, happy and fulfilling life together full of joy and silly memories.

[@amyyaku5022]

When OP got rid of her baby: OMG the mom and husband suck, but OP's no better for getting rid of it! 😡 If OP chose to risk her life to give birth and give her baby away: not another kid in the system! How could you be so cruel?! 😡 If OP chose to be a single mother: Well you should've kept your legs closed, should've chose better, what are you doing now the baby won't have a father 😡 People would complain regardless of what OP did, but I’m glad she made the best decision for herself. Risking her health to give birth and becoming a single mother would've made her life unnecessarily harder.

[@Animefreak-rb3vy]

I fully believe you can fall out of love in an instant. And these are the kinds of situations I think it happens. I also think she made the best decision for both her and the baby. I believe if you can't give a baby a decent life then sometimes its just for the best if you are able. Her and the baby being tied to that man and his mother would have made them miserable. Not a good environment for a child. I hope she gets the healing she needs. She sounds like shes been surrounded by trash her whole life.

[@hungrypotatoes]

"deleting the fetus" ok damn she preformed the fetus deletus

[@jessestuff]

I feel so much sympathy for this woman

[@alexk8457]

You will survive this trauma . You are stronger than you think. I am sending you positive thoughts and prayers .

[@fabianafagundezmuniz8119]

She was absolutely right in terminating the pregnancy, she Is'nt mentally stable enough go take care of the babby neither is the father, the father is a mama's boy and the baby wouod be at the mercy of the controlling grandma, because kf that baby was born then she and the baby would be tied to them, it was for the best.

[@RodneyRichards-rk3ud]

and that a reason to kill a child? shes worse then them.

[@angelmoonie]

​@@RodneyRichards-rk3ud she herself said she wasn't fit or stable. So what's your point? Also, she got rid of a fetus, not a baby

[@RodneyRichards-rk3ud]

@@angelmoonie fit or stable is irrelevant. a fetus is a baby..

[@kubasz.1351]

@angelmoonie I absolutely love when people say “it’s a fetus not a baby”. It reminds me when one politician said that we should have not forbidden cutting off dogs’ tails for non-medical/cosmetic reasons, because “they are animals, not people” so it’s OK.

[@nancythane5672]

​@@RodneyRichards-rk3ud HER BODY~~****HER CHOICE!!!****

[@michaelahughes2735]

You are better without these awful people in your life. Friends stay closer when you are going through a really tough time they don’t turn their backs on you. You are not weird, you are human. We are all different and we all have the right to say no, enough is enough. The person you married is a child still hanging on to his mother’s apron. He should have supported you. He’s also deceitful. Give yourself time to heal. You’re going to be fine. Also, that nurse has no right to be nasty to you, even if you are the worse person in the world she has no right to judge you. It’s called nursing.

[@saschanikita]

I can understand why people would try to avoid termination if possible but honestly, sometimes its better. I grew up in an abusive household too, and my mother is not someone who shouldve ever had children. I'm an adult now and I'd say I'm sort of okay, but have so many lingering issues and mental health problems that I don't think I'll ever be able to fix. Yes, every child deserves a good life. But sometimes depending on the parents that chance of a good life was impossible from the start. Both the child and the parent would've been miserable forever.

[@AlfiyaOzhanova]

Instead of marrying anyone she should seek help for her mental issues, because she is not okay at all. She was absolutely right to terminate or she would end up being tied to those people for the rest of her life. And mentally not well mother isn't good for a child in a lot of cases. She chose the best option. She shouldn't seek escape in men. Nearly all men and even a lot of women raised in patriarchal families lack empathy towards girls and women. They don't perceive women as humans, they see girls and women as subhumans, sl*ves, servants and property. Especially if they are religious, they sell and buy girls. So she made the wrong choice by even dating before resolving her psychological issues.

[@crazysaturdays9724]

It is a trauma response honestly whenever time a man figure in my life don't protect me I immediately stop loving them even if it's my husband I deserve protection an even worse you are my partner I'm so glad you got rid of that baby wish I had that sense my mental health would be better today

[@gillball2820]

I am so sorry this has happened to you.Thank goodness you got away.Keep your baby but move away,far,far away where they cannot find you.

[@annnichols3091]

I suppose the husband wouldn't have let her give the baby up for adoption.

[@Charuchii]

I don't think so either. I'd think he'd sooner demand full custody of the child, let his mom raise the kid and always talk smack about the mother of the child. This really was the best option for OP.

[@briannadickson2884]

Tests should be mandated with every birth. Throw the result letter away like junk mail if you want but it's in the system. Too many cheats out there that you would NEVER guess.

[@sharihazlett3774]

In this case, having the baby would be unfair to it. Her hatred would be overwhelming

[@tinyetoile5503]

"Can you give me updates on the pregnancy?" "Yeah, I ended it" LMFAO

[@annibreakfast7928]

To everyone calling her "evil" for the termination..Uhmm do you love child abuse?Do you hate children? Do you want them to suffer?Because there is no way this child would have grown up in a loving home. And if you wish that upon anyone, especially an innocent child, YOU are the evil one.Existing for the sake of existance alone is barely living.

[@jacquelynbrickman2982]

No one can protect you but you. Safty is up to you. Just you. You control your own future.

[@Amber6231]

Yall can’t be fucking serious ! I’m glad she terminated the baby and divorced him because it felt RIGHT FOR HER ! It was a horrible situation … He’s a grown ass man and his mother is a gaslighter . She’s probably going through detachment because of the trauma she’s faced & now what she’s going through now ! He sucks and she should find someone who loves and supports her right

[@staceyanderson6704]

If you don't feel safe.... Leave.

[@susangardiner]

I would have told them not until baby is born for the paternity test. And get out.

[@KimSmith-b9v]

To all the men out there... ALWAYS ask for paternity test.

[@topazdrake42]

I'm actually glad that OP terminated, because from the sounds of it she may have ended up resenting the child, and have PTSD about pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood

[@Elithrae]

The people on Reddit who saw that this woman not only was being re-traumatized by this abusive behavior, but already had severe trauma responses from the abuse in her childhood, and were like "NO! GIVE BIRTH TO THIS ZYGOTE YOU FEEL DISGUSTED BY BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST TRAUMATIZED NOW!" are so dumb. She'd be MORE traumatized and probably wind up hating the child. Those people are awful. The husband and mother are complete trash.

[@normacherylwashington4872]

You did exactly the right thing.Because he is a mama's boy.And she is a tyrant and having a child with someone like that is going to be the most miserable experience any woman could ever have. Don't go to abraham

[@Fuiyoooooooooooooo]

I honestly don’t know why the two of you got married in the first place. Neither you nor he got the types you two should have gotten. Like fr. What made him think you were unfaithful? Why were you that much of a CRYBABY? If you can't control your emotions why did you even think about involving other people in your life? The only thing you did for good was the termination. Unstable mother with spineless irresponsible father and a weirdass unhinged grandma would have made that kid's life miserable anyway.

[@lsmith992]

Uncontrollable crying is a trauma response. This woman has ptsd, maybe cptsd. So you calling her a crybaby shows zero compassion on your part.

[@TheJackdaw77]

OP clearly has had a lot of trauma in her life if falling out of love and wanting to abort felt so quick. She's put up with this before, so knows how to quickly drop all emotions for these kind of abusive people, can't help but think this is probably a good thing.

[@cc_snipergirl]

I'm going to be honest, I kinda feel sympathy for the husband. He was still 100% in the wrong. But he and the wife are cut from the same cloth. She just had the strength to escape her situation, and he never did. Not even as an adult. I can understand his behavior, and he's being passive out of fear whether he realizes it or not.

[@tinahardman1525]

Nope don't waste your breath.

[@maryleung1425]

The husband and the mother ...would have tried to get custody of the kid ..and take the kid away .if she would have gone thru with the pregnancy ....and the husbands mother put her son pedestal....no woman was good enuf for her son ...the mother never liked the sons wife ...and the son let his mother control his marriage ...it was right the wife got the divorce...because she had a spineless husband ..with his mom paying for the apt...so he could have more fun ....

[@YGJ360]

I hope OP continues to heal and that she stays NC with her ex and ex in law. Now that there’s no more link to them, I feel her life will get infinitely better.

[@shawnycoffman]

Never marry a mama's boy! What a wimp. I probably would have done the same thing she did. But I'm curious about why she kept using words like scared and unsafe in regards to being alone with her mother-in-law. What did she think the woman was going to do? Is there a history of violence? I'd love to know what country this was in so we could look at the cultural differences. To me, an American, she took way too long to absolve herself of that situation.

[@boundtogoboogie]

The background video on this is nauseating. Its enough to cause a seizure in an epileptic patient.

[@michellealjunaidi8471]

I say just take the test then get the results. No matter what the results are just head out. You can hire a lawyer and get divorced. Sounds like this whole situation triggered some past traumatic event from your life. If you feel like you need to leave then do what makes you happy. How your husband and his mother ganged up on you wasn't right. You husband should have simply asked for a paternity test. It didn't have to be what they made it. The implications of cheating hurt your feelings. To the point where you flipped a switch and no longer wish to be married.

[@cheyenneherrera5]

All I'm imagining is if this story took place in Texas 😰

[@miggie2099]

abortion is illegal in Texas so it has to be another country

[@TheYellowBusLifeReset]

I wish I could give this woman a hug and a crumbl cookie 🍪

[@melissacooper8724]

I have a question. Did OP's husband mistreat her before she got pregnant? Or he only showed his true colors afterward?

[@esther_inbloom]

You don't have to kill your baby, a paternity test, can be done on the amniocentesis later on.

[@himamadhusoodan8999]

OP was probably ignoring blatant signals of abuse even before this happened. Pregnancy just brought everything to the open. She did not want the baby at all, and the abusers knew that well. They were already using the pregnancy to trap and control OP. What is the rationale for giving them more ammo to destroy her with?

[@jaybird5218]

She should’ve said “yeah, I’ll get the paternity test for you the same day I go in to abort it and take our divorce papers in to the court house. Now get out and take your overgrown child with you.”

[@IamDacaah888]

WOW 😮. I am SOOOOO SORRY. Pure EVIL

[@MsTemptation]

Op needs to stop looking for someone to make her feel safe because safe is a relative term. She needs to focus on herself which includes working on her definition of safety. If it’s financial independence then she can work on herself. If it’s emotional or mental then she can work with a therapist or become a part of a woman’s group. She needs to build her strength instead of trying to marry into feeling secure.

[@dhekkafox]

i would give the results, the divorce paper.. and the termination all at once

[@wendymorrison5619]

A woman commits to a lifetime of body changes and care with a pregnancy. A man gives a genetic donation and wants praise for conception.

[@1FriendlyFries]

Honestly i feel so bad for the fetus and im not even on this pro-life stuff but there is no way in hell its a good idea to v Be tied down to that kind of family

[@cjstar01jones17]

She felt better bc she was no longer having those pregnancy hormones. Good for you op. Also within 24 hours of knowing she was pregnant she said she wanted a termination. That’s it.

[@Lola.1345v]

You can always have another baby. You don't want to be tied to these crazy people.

[@XieLiansHongEr]

I am so glad she eneded the pregnancy and is divorcing. Her life is going to be so much better. She deserves freedom, safety, and happiness.

[@torridavenport1031]

Whats with the stupid Minecraft type background. It's childish & annoying!!! So is the AI voice. Like it's sped up. We dont need horrid distracting backgrounds. 👎👎👎👎🤬🤬

[@herdmentality1894]

I would have divorced the moment he allowed his mother to treat me this way

[@michellebolyard1388]

Why do so many people punish the child for the sins of the family? That child was even more innocent than the op.

[@annibreakfast7928]

How was the child punished? She saved it from a life of misfortunte and abuse by terminating that pregnancy!

[@michellebolyard1388]

@annibreakfast7928 , you don't know that. That baby never even had a chance or a choice.

[@annibreakfast7928]

@@michellebolyard1388 You don't know it either. BUT unlike you, the "evidence" is "in my favor".OP literally said she would not be fit to be a mother. And if you have any ounce of humanity, you would know that she is right in her assessment. She is clearly distressed and traumatized. She would have just passed on those feelings to her child.

[@MB-uy5kh]

Get rid of that annoying background game. It gave me vertigo. Not subscribing.

[@ianesgrecia8568]

I love this reaction to a paternity test. Specially because these are the same people that say that women making a 'go-bag' is not slapping their spouses of calling them abusive. Don't you love the 'modern society' hypocrisy?

[@LanaBumgarner]

She aborted her baby just to get even with her husband and mil. This is an awful story, the child was innocent.

[@raindancer1872]

I would have had the test done and then terminated it.

[@_axxika_3715]

OP really shouldn't be a mother... nothing against her, but she does seem unstable and depressed. She couldn't take very goood care if the child, because she just can't. And no child deserves to life in a house with a mother that can't take care of them. (Again, nothing against her, but she just really shouldn't have a child)

[@southernflight5078]

She did say she had a history of abuse. So she probably needs to head into therapy before jumping into another relationship.

[@mishkawild1090]

The way that mil is acting its like she is projecting her own possible wrongs.

[@ivanabonacicdoric6745]

Leave, that is not a safe enviorment

[@ItzFriskVA]

First time I heard someone said deletus the fetus in a Reddit story lol

[@KathyOgden-c8c]

You do what is best for you and stay safe.

[@EnzoCatalan-c4h]

If your response to a paternity test is to end the pregnancy, that pretty much says it all. Her husband is a coward hiding behind his mom, but mothers always get to be a 100% certain about maternity, the father deserves the same certainty, and there is only one reason I can see that a woman would not give her partner that certainty.

[@amyyaku5022]

If a woman refusing to get a paternity test due to false accusations of cheating is somehow “proof” of her cheating, then a man being in the same vicinity of a woman accusing them of grape, harassment, etc. should just confess to their crimes. If they don't its proof they did it and they'll go to jail. Like with your example, we don’t know for certain the guy did it or not, so let's just assume he did until proven otherwise. (I don't agree with this, but pointing out how silly and sexist it is to falsely accuse anyone and then not complying to the demands is somehow proof of the accusation. It makes no sense, has wrecked so many marriages, and has put many innocent people in jail).

[@EnzoCatalan-c4h]

@@amyyaku5022 No, it would be like if a man gets accused of grape and can prove his in innocence with a DNA test but refuses and flees the country. I don't know about you but I would at that point be pretty certain he did it

[@EnzoCatalan-c4h]

@@amyyaku5022 And if I remember correctly, the MIL didn't accuse her until after she didn't want to do the paternity test. I am not saying that this was handled well by the husband and MIL, the husband should have sat her down and had a one on one conversation with her, explaining why he wants to verify paternity

[@clarissagafoor5222]

too many words to say the same things

[@albertgongora6944]

I'm going to be perfectly honest I feel so terrible for this person and everything they're going through but at the same time I'm like dude you can't say the red flags weren't there you can't say his mother was a mistreating you before like why would you remotely marry this guy and allow yourself to get pregnant by somebody that you even stated has never once defended you against his own mother maybe that's just me I'm still feeling sympathetic for this person but there's a part of me that's like come on like why would you just let this happen