"My Parents Just Don't Understand Me" | Parent-Teen Forum (Part 2)

Part 1: • "My Parents Just Don't...
In this community parenting panel, panelists attempt to bridge the generational gap between teen and parent and help navigate difficult discussions, answer complex questions, and bring clarity to both groups about effective ways to communicate and encourage harmonious and mutually beneficial relationships.
Watch the first community panel session at • "My Parents Just Don't...
In this session, our panelists were these local community members: Sidi Azmat Zeeshan Mukhtar (teen boys session), Sr. Hina Khan-Mukhtar (parents session), Dr. Asad Tarsin (parents session), Ustadha Hosai Mojaddidi (emcee), Ustadha Suzane Derani (teen girls session), and Sidi Haroon Sellars (teen boys session).
They each bring 10+ years of experience as both parents and educators who work closely with children and teens of all backgrounds.
The panelists took audience questions, pre-submitted online questions, and questions from the live-stream feeds on Facebook and KZbin.
- Part 1: • "My Parents Just Don't...
- More Ustadha Hosai Mojaddidi visit mcceastbay.org/hosai-mojaddidi
- More Sr. Hina Khan-Mukhtar: mcceastbay.org/hina
- More Sidi Zeeshan Mukhar: mcceastbay.org/zeeshan
- More Dr. Asad Tarsin: mcceastbay.org/asad
- More from Ustadha Derani: mcceastbay.org/suzane-derani
- More Sidi Haroon Sellars: mcceastbay.org/haroon
- More "My Parents Just Don't Understand" Series: mcceastbay.org/parent-teen
- More Islamic parenting workshops, please visit: mcceastbay.org/parenting
- More Islamic marriage talks & workshops, please visit: mcceastbay.org/marriage
- More sessions for Muslim teenagers: mcceastbay.org/teens
Each month, MCC invites insightful American-Muslims who are making a positive impact on our community to speak at its Friday Family Night series.
- More from our Friday Night Series: mcceastbay.org/friday-night
This community parenting panel was delivered at the Muslim Community Center (MCC East Bay) in Pleasanton, California on November 1, 2019.
#islamicparenting #muslimsinamerica
More MCC East Bay:
Events & Activities: www.mcceastbay.org/calendar
Weekly Updates: www.mcceastbay.org/newsletter
Support MCC: www.mcceastbay.org/sadaqa
Facebook: / mccpleasanton
Instagram: / mcceastbay

[@halimajj9799]

I am listening to this and in tears all the second half of the vedio. Such great advices and topics. I think we immigrant parent have big challenges when it comes to raise teens oe kids in general in a non Muslim countries. I am gratfeul that allah had brought me to thos vedio on the right time . Jazakom allah khayran

[@ibraheembeshir6808]

This is a great community for all the muslims of this generation.

[@NajmaFazalqfk]

no doubt - we are grateful to them

[@ibnadom6910]

Parents-kids close communication is a must.

[@NajmaFazalqfk]

Absolutely !

[@abujabirjabir7308]

لا اله الا الله محمد رسول ألله صلي الله عليه وسلم

[@conscientiousscrupulous8942]

I agree 1000% to what our venerable sister with te blue scarf said about phones and youth.

[@bradasdn5573]

There is two !

[@Geebee67]

Selam Aleykum I enjoyed this very much, thank you all for your time and effort. May Allah reward you all 🌹

[@NajmaFazalqfk]

Ameen

[@MuhammadAshraf-ox2ci]

Jazak Allah e Khair

[@alisahassan3480]

ما شاء الله Amazing lecture. I got so much from it. جزاك الله خيرا to all those who put effort into it. Allah bless you with his best rewards in both worlds. امين يارب. 💚

[@reversegear1440]

To me weekly meetings looks so long...u have to talk to ur child or let them pour out the whole list of things happening at school,college etc the min they enter the house...wait anxiously for their stories...show respect to their feelings ...they won't go anywhere else besides u...

[@Ruffles2012]

This is lazy parenting. If parents don't listen, the kids will go talk to their friends at school, who may be atheist or something else, which is fine if they also get parental support. But if the parents never talk or listen, the kids will just agree with their friends at school

[@NajmaFazalqfk]

JazakALLAH Khair - U r doing Great Effort - Very beneficial Topic Indeed !

[@yussufmohamed2405]

JAZAKALLAHU AMEEN

[@nebatabduyusuf9496]

Masha'allah may Allah safeguard and protect you all for the umma. This really an eye opener for all Muslims society all over the world. You can't believe it i have been dreaming this kind of sessions for my community to solve the problems that we are all families facing. Pls try to make a tour and have this kind of sessions in different communities. You huys are amazing. I will pray that you will come to Toronto insha'allah. May be in December at RIS conference DEC 22-24 . 👏👏🏆🏆🌻🌻♥️♥️🌻🌻🏆🏆👍👍

[@bebrave1622]

Very nice panel. Only thing is....can someone please check with a shaykh about saying that and believing that people are actually born gay....because i feel like that it tantamount to saying Allah made a mistake authubilla. I thought all people are born on the fitrah and that includes being heterosexual. I am just a layman though. Hoping someone who knows of a scholarly opinion on this will reply.

[@tasnimahmed6976]

There is nothing wrong with having homosexual feelings, the same way there is nothing wrong with a man having sexual attraction toward another man’s wife. The attraction exists whether we like it or not, what Islam forbids is acting upon it. I highly recommend this article below for more in depth details and just any another other essays and Q&A's on the website for that matter. Though the writer is not well known, I deeply respect his work and have found it impactful in my own deen, living in the west. You can find his credentials in the 'about' page if you have doubts. Hope this helps! hawramani.com/islam-homosexuality-and-homosexual-muslims/

[@Ahmed-pp1fk]

Amber Ford you’re right, this statement that your born gay is a statement against Allaah and His messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم. As you said everybody is born with the fitrah (the natural disposition ie Al-Islam). Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “No child is born but that he is upon natural instinct. His parents make him a Jew, or a Christian, or Magian. (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim This shows how Allaah created humans as monotheists and it is the parent that changes them. The same can be said about society, society is the source in which the individual is influenced by, even encouraging the exploration of deviant sexual desires. Allaah punished the people of Lut for this evil crime, if it was natural then why did he punish them? He سبحانه تعالى is just and never created us in order to punish us. Nay, Allaah never commands Fahshaa (evil deeds, unlawful sexual intercourse). Do you say of Allaah what you know not? [al-Araaf 7:28] However if one where to have these feelings, Allaah wouldn’t punish him for this, he would only punish him if he acted upon his desires and didn’t seek repentance. 2:169) [Shaitan (Satan)] commands you only what is evil and Fahsha (sinful), and that you should say against Allah what you know not.

[@bebrave1622]

@@tasnimahmed6976 thanks for the article but that doesn't really answer my question. May Allah reward you for the kind thought.

[@Anonymous-rn2wx]

There is no evidence islamic or scientific to the statement "people are born gay" please look into it there have been many researches about this and the conclusion is that no there is no "gay gene" exists in anyomes body www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-02585-6 Read this article

[@Tryste]

The Nature of the Fitrah doesn't contradict the fact that we can have natural inclination since birth. Because above the Fitrah, every human beings stacks traits common with animals or desires, or angels and prophets. The Fitrah is one thing. But inclinations are another, they are the crucible of the tests that the individual will have to overcome. And this life has different struggles set for every one of us.

[@mehrhasan1832]

looking out for such a forum for so long.may Allah please wd all of u.pwace n blessings

[@riasbaigu7438]

May Allah bless them

[@asma-mushtaq]

Ameen!

[@Sabihakhan1]

🙏🏼

[@Ruffles2012]

Salam, the biggest issue in Islam today is honestly LAZY parenting. Parents just wanna hit a kid and force them to obey instead of actually putting in the time and work to actually raise kids and have healthy discussions and open conversations. Islam needs to focus more on parenting, seriously. More kids just secretly do haraam or even stop believing because of bad parenting... And then the parents is never held accountable...

[@taeisbae1482]

Islam already showed how to parent properly... It's some of the Muslims that are not following it... Don't blame it on Islam. Blame it on the people

[@Ruffles2012]

@@taeisbae1482 Islam showed it but our Imams are not preaching it!!!!! Not at All!!!! My whole life going to Jummah and haliqas I only ever heard the rights of kids spoken about once, and there was no mention of how to actually parent well (or an explanation that your kids are Muslim and have all the right of all Muslims as well). On the other hand, every other lecture mentions that kids will go to Hell just for saying "oof" to the parents. What does that teach parents? It teaches them that they can treat and raise their kids however they want and it doesn't matter because the burden of the relationship is on the kids. I'm saying our communities need to create better parents

[@Tryste]

There is also the problem of seeing parenting as complete when every material needs are met in the household

[@riib1408]

Big lesson is never ever compare your child to any other and disappoint them.

[@neheltyyeb864]

*ways to open communication barriers *The friendship Pyramid * How to help reduce teens playing video games * Hanging out with opposite gender friends groups *LGBTQ issues. * Infulence * Parenting Book: Hold on to your Kids. Why parents need to matter more than Peers. By Mate & Newfeld. * If God is so forgiving why can't i do anything i want and ask for forgiveness later. * How to developlove for Quran and salah * should you give your teen a smartphone. * When teens don't want to talk. * How to stop a teenager from falling in love. * Communication gap, generation gap, Continental gap. *I'm not going to try to intreact with my parents because I'll be leaving them soon. *Toddler Adults *Bridging the gaps * Change your parenting style *How my parents react, prevent me from opening up. *God forgives but my Parents don't. *The parents' inability to Compromise. * Reference & Comparison with other so called perfect family members. * Build Up not Tear Down. * Be real. Admit ur mistakes. * Gender Interactions

[@samsiam2264]

Aslamo alaikum. This was so helpful . I still have two question if any of these speakers or anyone can help me with.. 1..is if the teen wants tatoo how do ibtalk to him about that? And is it haram? 2..is at what age should they start working (as a job)? Thanks in advance.

[@mohammedali3906]

Why is it mixed men and women? The least thing they can do is let the ladies panel sit in a separate table than the men panel. Not all in one table

[@djamaluddin]

Why? That's your perspective. There is nothing wrong with the way it's set up.

[@Ruffles2012]

This is silly. If you live in the West, unless you're a homeless person living under a bridge, you WILL have to sit next to the opposite gender at work and/or school and act mature and halal and have self control. This is a non issue. It's called having self control and maturity. If you are mature, you can control yourself

[@Bismillilah]

At an operation table men and women can work together and that’s not wrong. Think of this as that. People of the community coming together for a good cause. Please don’t bring in unnecessary skepticism to something that’s coming from a good place. I.e guidance.

[@aminaa7909]

lol 😂 you are crazy 😜 are u in the west?!

[@youtubeowl9544]

@@aminaa7909 Does Islam change according to geographical location and one's whims and desires? I advice you to think before you speak sister.