"My partner wants an open relationship": First ask these 5 questions!

[@JustinBrownVids]

Thanks so much for watching the video. Download Ideapod's free digital magazine here: ideapod.com/tribe/#1

[@idkm4n35]

Im sorry that happened to you. You will eventually find someone again :)

[@alihaydaryalnz6118]

Man, you've asked the most ridiculous questions I could ever hear in my life and skipped over the main ones. I hope you're not a psychologist or something. One question can solve this whole puzzle. There's no need for the other questions. - Man, you forgot to ask yourself the million-dollar question? The real question is: If your partner is going to meet her needs with another man, why would she need you? After all, human relationships are born out of need, right?

[@powerhousepaperairplanesrogers]

My wife just plan out said I'm not enough

[@cherriezzz8081]

It hurts me when he asked me this because I know I deep down I don't want an open relationship because I know open relationships can get really toxic and some don't even last that long

[@victoria7477]

Same

[@ghostbro7435]

True

[@curious1053]

8% success rate.

[@roberteugene7295]

@CherriezZz It's worse than that. By having the utter audacity to ask for an open relationship, he/she is displaying a lack of respect for you and your relationship. Time to get out of Dodge.

[@suspicioususer]

​@@curious1053 Source?

[@DixieDevil78]

I appreciate these comments. At least I know I’m not alone in believing in respecting and appreciating my partner and my commitment to them. I know for a fact I couldn’t handle an open relationship.

[@robinkarlobaldueza426]

I salute you Mandy . We are on the same page regarding for that matter. I’m gay man and will never be down for that kind of relationship

[@MewoArt]

I could never handle this my husband recently asked me this

[@sarahalderman3126]

@@MewoArt I’m sorry, you should realize if he asked he’s already cheating.

[@MewoArt]

​@@sarahalderman3126 he's not. Not every person cheats. I'm sorry you must have gone through a lot. To carry so much doubt. I hope that things turn good for you in the future ❤😊

[@eleethtahgra7802]

No sane person could.

[@johnbines183]

I've had 4 failed attempts at an open relationship. They start out great with both of us discussing what we want. What I wanted was the freedom for us both to explore both inside and outside sexual connections with others while maintaining a healthy, intimate relationship between the two of us... what I ended up with was a lot of confusion, my partners becoming totally consumed with hookup culture and outside connections to the degree that we'd be so disconnected that I might see them scarcely. When we did connect, I'd always say "phones down and let's focus on us". Only to be interrupted by a new lover on the scene or my partner sneaking into the bathroom to check messages and communicate. I feel the intensity of focus shifted to whomever new was in the picture. I still would like to find a partner with whom I could have a healthy open relationship with but its painstakingly hard.

[@markmello1366]

You did the right thing in trying to set and respect boundaries. Keep trying & good luck

[@dino70253]

Dude wake up to yourself. Open relationships have a 92% to 97% failure rate depending on which stats you look at. You had 4 failed attempts and still want to fail some more? If a woman wants an open relationship with you it means she doesn't love you or respect you enough to be faithful to you. She wants 100% relationship investment from you while other dudes bang her for free. Is that really what you want?

[@jackhsiehhautecouture]

😢

[@Frog_Mob_Boss]

Lol. Loser. Try being normal instead.

[@velakhanyile451]

😮🫤🫤🙆🙆

[@maralinemanahan9012]

Thank you so much, I feel my feelings are validated because my partner says to me that I'm overreacting. Thank you for emphasizing that "just the requesting it is damaging" ... been hurting for 7 months now. I can't focus , I can't sleep , I can't eat , and I cry randomly. I don't know, maybe I really need a professional to heal😢

[@Lestergreen77]

Get out! It’s psychologically damaging and I’m recovering now

[@heartspacerelaxations6924]

Your finding it hard to comprehend how he could want this, and if what you had was real. Porn is putting ideas into peoples minds and even in dramas and soaps it’s all about cheating women and bi curious women who has no idea they were les/bi. It’s puts ideas in mens and woman’s heads. I can see how the fantasy can start, and I would accept if my partner wanted to explore with another women at some point in her life, if it were not secret, but not another guy.

[@Chipglockfully]

@@Lestergreen77 then they say they love you and all that like how when you gonna take birth control and get nutted inby some guy that you known not longer than me and then make promises like marriage and stuff dying let me do this for a certain amount of time then I will consent and be yours

[@ShotDeCafe]

Find help. If something is hurting you so bad, that's not the place for you. You can leave and it's okay. Don't put others necesities over yours

[@tonymckinney1355]

You need to leave.

[@bendoubleu]

Thanks for this. I just recently decided that this type of relationship wasn't for me. It was hard, but I decided that it wasn't helping me grow. It was making me feel insecure.

[@eleethtahgra7802]

Dude....youve been bluepilled...

[@joelsommers]

I think sometimes a partner asked to open the relationship because they know they're no longer into the relationship but also can't stand the idea of being the partner who breaks up and is trying to slowly extricate themselves from it. This was the case for my best friend and his husband. Was obvious and sad to watch happen in slow motion.

[@GKnowStuff]

Sure, sometimes. There's a lot of situations that sometimes occur. There's a lot of reasons for them to sometimes occur. That doesn't mean they always will be applicable within every relationship. Every relationship has their differences. I am not disagreeing with you or trying to discredit what you are saying, because what happened in your friend's relationship can happen between other as well. However, that doesn't mean it will happen. I do think it's also important for people to know there are also many healthy relationships that can remain open where all parties involved are very happy. Opening a relationship can actually very well enhance the relationship even more. Acceptance is key. Yes, that requires communication, which is also key to any healthy relationship. Open relationships are for the open-minded.

[@joelsommers]

@@GKnowStuff Yeah, I don't think we're disagreeing.

[@eoghancallaghy2634]

You want to be in an open relationship, fine, just not with me.

[@em4227]

How do I find this funny how they have a woman saying she wants to be an open relationship well that's highly really unlikely four more men would like to be in an open relationship not women

[@em4227]

I mean far less women are going to want open relationships and even far less men she gets pregnant while whose kid is it I mean this is kind of a silly topic but the woman wants to have an open relationship

[@derekwall200]

My thoughts exactly

[@dark_nightwing_xl2797]

@@em4227oh hell nah 😂

[@CMFAtmosphere]

I know my partner for 13 years. So far our relationship is great. And yes. Its open. We both are very se*ual. Both love to travel. We are in the distance sometimes due to our careers. I trust him 100%. We dont really have the need to be with others at all but we love adventure and that option is available whenever we want to have fun. We are happy this way enjoying our feelings. We want each other to be happy and enjoy life. He is also my best friend and my family apart from partner and lover. We also set rules with the other people. "No emotional attachment or secondary relationships." And "Always honesty". So basically, we can have fuckfriends that we can meet individually or together whenever we want fun. So far, it works because we only look for people who only want sex. Depends on your partner as well. If you date a jerk or a guy with a Peter Pan mentality not ready to commit, you shouldn't have expectations indeed but if your love is solid it can last. Like our relationship. 13 years and counting. So it depends. For some people it works for others it doesn't work. You just need to love, trust, know your partner very well and do what makes you grow and be happy. Lots of love everyone ❤️

[@aNaturalist]

That's wonderful! I want something like that, but without the distance.

[@Rybvyn]

I really like your opinion, because everyone else here is hating the idea of open relationship

[@johnrathbun2943]

Sorry but that's not an open relationship. That's a sex with other people but under control relationship. Open means it's open for them to do as they please. Control relationship is where you have rules. You can try to call Christmas your birth day but it's not. Not to mention that you are going against scientific facts and women's natural section of relationships. Men sleep with women because they can. Women sleep with men because they have an attraction to them which is known as emotions. So you are forcing her to lie to agree. Not to mention that it's a scientific fact that when people have sex they release endorphins. Endorphins is what causes bonding with people. So inevitably what you are doing is playing a game of is this one better than the one that I've got. Because let's say you find someone better than what you have ,do you stay or do you leave? If you stay you will regret, but if you leave you will blame it on love. Like I didn't mean to fall in love with this person. This is a form of monkey branching. Why would you stay because you made a commitment to. You already broke the commitment when you opened the relationship to others. So you honestly have no reason to stay together. And if you are in a relationship with someone like you said that you are (open relationship) then you are in a relationship with your friend not your soul mate. You see take Swans for example. They don't take vows, they don't get a marriage license or have a wedding. They just love that one and won't sleep with another even if they're partner dies. They are soul mates. How come a Swan understands this but you don't? I understand this. I've never been in an open relationship but I've had alot of sex partners. I've even been in a relationship with my friend or best friend how ever you wish to say it. But I knew deep down I was in a bad relationship because I didn't desire them. I just loved them. I know the difference between desire and love. And no I'm not a stalker. I lost a relationship that I always look back on and wish I never broke up with her. But I was young and thought I could do better or I just wasn't ready to settle down yet because I was having to much fun. And I didn't want to drag her through my life of sleeping around with other women.

[@mickeycobbler4451]

Hi. Question. So since you’re both soooo sexual, ever thought of just having tons of sex with… each other? You can try new things with your partner

[@groovearmada2008]

Thanks for this comment, it's inspiring! Nevertheless, since I think I understand what 'no secondary relationships' mean, I'm not sure how to understand 'no emotional attachment', can you define "attachment" here and elaborate on this? To me it sounds a bit like the person out of the 'primary' relationship is somehow disregarded and/or objectified. Plus, how does the sex of ppl who show zero emotional attachment look like? Isn't it just mechanical? And ofc I can imagine some gradation of attachment to someone that you sleep with, but 'zero attachment' seems almost impossible to imagine within a sane human interaction scheme. But we probably don't understand attachment in the same way. Please share your thoughts! Thx 😊

[@mopes2713]

I call BS on this guys final words! This has absolutely nothing to do with insecurities or loving yourself. Even the most confident and secure people will still say no to an open relationship if it’s someone that they really cared about.

[@jjm152]

You're right, it's the biggest load of bullshit. What he calls "insecurities" are just obvious facts - like he's questioning his value in the relationship when his partner is outright saying that she doesn't value him over getting her back blown out. Any woman who actually values a man will never suggest an open relationship because they know that they will lose that man to another woman. Let me put it another way - women are ALWAYS aiming for men who are higher socio-economically than they are. It's their ideal situation. The competition between women to always "level up" through partners is fierce. If she's not constantly trying to lock you down, either she thinks she has you on a leash, or she doesn't care. End of story.

While your points are valid, What about attachment and stability? Many women (and men) do get attached and value stability even over socio-economic leveling. Therefore it makes sense to really want to keep both relationships, don't you think?

[@leidysunday5990]

I think it’s actually the opposite! If you are confident and have self-esteem you would say no right way to an open relationship! I’ve seen so many relationships failures.

[@ibikeunfolded]

I had a friend who let his wife talk him into opening the relationship only to find she had no trouble getting sex partners, whereas he........well that was a different story.

[@sirdarthmarvel1703]

Because men don’t care and women can’t share.

[@melvinmolly4151]

Well of course.. A woman can go into any bar or club and get a guy to dig them out.. Men really can't do that...

[@yyxy.oncesaid]

And?

[@heartspacerelaxations6924]

Nearly always the way. Women get punch above their weight and screw well endowed, good looking fit younger guys if all they want is to be screwed. Only one loser in an open relationship, that the man!

[@PrimateSoul]

Usually the case

[@kumsaati4120]

İf you try to change you're relationship from one partner to open relationship it will probably fail. The trick is you must start your relation ship as a open relationship.

[@barryc9115]

And even those fail 94% of the time. Open relationships are literally nothing more than a long, emotionally abusive goodbye

[@pipgrant8608]

May as well stay single...

[@kumsaati4120]

@@barryc9115 where did you get to istatistics from?

[@elskar1]

If a partner requests an Open relationship with you then you should ask them to define what “ open “ means.It could mean that you’re both still Intimate and happy to individually, date others.It could mean that your partner wants to still stay together with you as their best friend(living together) but the intimacy is dead and they would like for you to be ok and open to them or yourself seeing others .

[@SalemK-ty4ti]

If you are in an intimate relationship and you lose interest in being intimate with them then break up. This isn’t hard you know.

[@mopes2713]

@@SalemK-ty4tiThat’s not true a lot of married couples stop having sex for multiple reasons. Being a parent is a lot of work. Some couples decide they don’t want anymore children so they practice celibacy.

[@SalemK-ty4ti]

@@mopes2713 I do believe there are some legitimate reasons why married couples stop having sex, like a physical condition for example. Not having any more children is no excuse with all the birth control methods available today, so if someone tells you they don't want to have sex because they don't want to have children you need to realize that's an excuse. That couple should seek out counseling to see what the actual real reason is. Same with the being a parent excuse - they need to seek out counseling. I mean you can love someone but not be in love with them right? No, when someone tells you this they no longer see you romantically as a lover and you are now just roomates and should divorce if one in the couple feels that way. It really saddens my heart that people stay in a loveless marriage(sexless). These people should get divorced and go and live a happy life. It really sickens me that people stay together in a loveless(sexless) marraige(unless legitimate reasons like one not being physically able).

[@eleethtahgra7802]

Nah. If asked, then just open the door n kick them out.

[@dino70253]

No man that is focused on his purpose has time for that crap. If she wants to bang other people dump her a$$ and move on. It's really not that difficult.

[@ArmyWolves]

As someone looking in from outside, my logical brain makes me wonder why someone who asked or agreed to be in an exclusive, monogamous relationship in the first place wants an open relationship? Booty calls, hook ups, rotations. one night stands, friends with benefits and everything in between. End the relationship and be free to hook up without problems.

[@arjen1975]

Because of fear of losing the convinced monogamist partner, fear of being alone, because you can like and love a monogamous person so much that you compromise your core being which becomes a ticking time bomb. You can truly love a person and still not be suited to the relationship form the need.

[@dothedewinme]

if they ask for an open relationship and you were monogamous their are either cheating already or have someone picked out and want your blessing to do so. Also they don’t care about you at all. This question is an immediate relationship ender

[@jeggsonvohees2201]

That or they're just incapable of satisfying their partner emotionally and physically.

[@birdgod5584]

That's not fair, though. He may just have simply thought of the idea of opening it, doesn't mean "he is already cheating". If there is a chance he will accept not having an open relationship, you should talk to your partner about it before leaving him or putting him on blast.

[@barryc9115]

@@birdgod5584 Women vastly outnumber men in requesting an open relationship. And yes she is already cheating or has someone lined up to bang.

[@ProfSeloTheGoldenDragon.]

​@birdgod5584 no, it's better to break up. It will be good for everyone involved.

[@karaoke888]

If anyone wants an open relationship it means it is over between the two of you. They are either already seeing somebody else or have somebody in mind.

[@lycanbane2070]

Not necessarily, I did but I was not seeing or thinking about anyone

[@ruslanagadzhanyan2753]

I had a story, my gf back then asked for such relationship, I said "okay" with no hesitation, but in my haed I was like "welp... time to find another partner", started dating another girl, we quickly fell in love with each other, I became exclusive with her, whenever my gf back then was like "why you are not trying anything with me" I was like "I am tired", eventually it ended up in rather surprising even for me way, it was a party that I attended with girl that proposed an open relationship, my new gf was there too, when first girl has tried to be like "let's sneak to have fun", my new gf was like "your man is now mine, he is staying with me", she saw me holding her by the waist, cried and ran away, then there was a text begging for forgiveness etc... classic stuff.

[@EriCraftCreations]

Wow that definitely didn't work out the way she planned.

[@ProfSeloTheGoldenDragon.]

😂😂😂Every monogamous person needs to read this comment. What a legend! 👏👏

[@suryacoapy5129]

Open? Yeah great! Let's make it really really really open with absolutely no expectations. I'll call you if I want to see you again. (I've actually been in this situation).

[@thelimey351]

🤣✔

[@gabrielletessier]

That would be my act : open relationship = divorce papers on his desk. That's the kind of open I want. Why bother with all the burden living with a man can be if he wants to go f*ck elsewhere. He is free to get a new life (so am I) and date me when I care.

[@canadianbird1185]

LEAVE the relationship, seeking what goes against your partner's goal... will always result in dissatisfaction. Accept that you guys aren't meant to be.

[@biguzivert7360]

Nah bruh if she or he wants an open relationship they belong to da streets 🛣️🙏

[@AceAzrael300]

Fact

[@Gelatogigi]

Lmfao then y u on this video ?????

[@biguzivert7360]

@@Gelatogigi what?

[@Gelatogigi]

@@biguzivert7360 why was u watching this video

[@biguzivert7360]

@@Gelatogigi do u actually think I knew how bad this would be before watching the video?

[@D.M.S.]

I want to stop dating and not continue it, when I'm in a relationship. I hate the hunt. It doesn't matter if I'm insecure. There is a reason why she wants less from you. If you want with someone else, be with someone else, but I want to be with my partner and I want her to be with me. I don't want to kiss, caress or sleep with other people and I want her to also not wanting it. And if this is not the case, we are not compatible. It's as easy as that.

[@remkojerphanion4686]

I recently met a sexy, fun woman who wants an open relationship, and that's fine with me. She's been twice divorced, and is now still married with husband number 3, so I know perfectly well that she won't ever be monogamous. We have discussed the conditions, and we've basically made a short term business deal (no money involved). We just see each other whenever we feel like doing so, and that's it, nothing more. I continue to date other women and she's sees other men. Eventually, I will find that one woman that will be my monogamous partner, and the day that I do find that woman, is also the day that I quit seeing "fun lady", that's part of our deal too.

[@jimpanse5375]

Thats just friends with benefits?

[@TheDevilEdo]

Uh you're not a partner here buddy, you're one of her fuckfriends

[@montrellferguson8156]

@@jimpanse5375Right. She’s in an open relationship with “husband number 3” (whether he knows it or not)

[@tofolcano9639]

Noo nononono don't blame yourself for not wanting an open relationship as if you did something wrong. In the last question the "logical" part of your brain was actually being completely irrational and the "emotional" part of your brain was revealing the hidden truth of the situation, it has nothing to do with low self esteem or insecurities. If things were going right and you were "enough" for her she wouldn't feel the need to "shake things up", instead of shaking things up how about communicating what's wrong and trying to fix it together? You should stand your ground, protect your dignity and just say that it's not an option and make it clear that being with other people is cheating no matter how you try to justify it. Just for even unironically suggesting that as an option you should be the one reconsidering if she's "enough" for you or if you actually deserve better.

[@barryc9115]

If your partner wants an open relationship. Break up immediately. They are already cheating or have someone lined up to cheat with. Don’t subject yourself to the emotional abuse.

[@DLFfitness1]

So many people stay in relationships out of fear.

[@AdelaideGuy1968]

Most women have a replacement for their man, before they drop the hammer

[@williamcolemam7539]

She wants a open relationship she can open the front door and find a open relationship.

[@birdgod5584]

That's not fair, though. She may just have simply thought of the idea of opening it, doesn't mean "she is already cheating". If there is a chance she will accept not having an open relationship, you should talk to your partner about it before leaving her or putting her on blast.

[@KlearChristal]

@@birdgod5584 Even forming the question is a red flag. Huge.

[@ProfSeloTheGoldenDragon.]

​@birdgod5584 The idea alone shows her partner is not enough for her, so yah , she still has to go.

[@thelimey351]

If my partner wanted an 'open relationship' I would want them to tell me immediately rather than them cheating behind my back - that way I know the truth and can leave the same day that they tell me without another word rather than wasting my freaking time...

[@birdgod5584]

That's not fair, though. He may just have simply thought of the idea of opening it, doesn't mean "he is already cheating". If there is a chance he will accept not having an open relationship, you should talk to your partner about it before leaving him or putting him on blast.

[@86config]

@@birdgod5584 You seem very taken with giving the same reply at every opertunity, are you perhaps living with the consequences of postulating such an arrangement and self justifying ?

[@thelimey351]

@@birdgod5584 What I am saying is totally fair, the reason I say this is that I want men to understand that once a woman asks for an "open" relationship it's *over* - they are either cheating & want to feel better about it, planning to cheat but don't want to feel bad about it, or find intimate relations with him so bad that they want to look for anybody else whilst keeping the dude as an ATM & emotional tampon... Any way you cut they are going to be cheating over the long term, so if you have any brains it's *DONE* .

[@firstlast-yf8hh]

@@thelimey351 Same goes for men that want open relationships, most of the time they just want "soft blanket to land on" when nobody else is there, so that's why they keep those poor woman in relationships...anyways,regardles of gender, its soo disgusting...

[@drtalkboxsa9412]

If it ain’t broken, don’t amend or fix it

[@coburgkid]

Open relationship = Let me look for someone better while I have you at home until I find it.

[@gabrieldecarvalhoeoliveira5618]

I’m sorry for all of us. This is the second time i’ve been in this situation

[@georgiafinch7532]

This man is beautiful, so genuine and kind. The way he owns his feelings and accountability is amazing. I AM INSPIRED. THANK YOU

[@trevorwilkinson7744]

Most partners who suggest to open the relationship, do it because they want to experience different types of sexual partners and they very rarely will be honest about their reasons.

[@86config]

Only one way to answer a request for an open relationship or marriage.. Asking for an open relationship is a shitty way of asking "hey, I think destroying our intimacy, mutual respect and bond as a couple is a good idea, how do you feel about that ?"

[@birdgod5584]

That's not fair, though. He may just have simply thought of the idea of opening it, doesn't mean "he is already cheating". If there is a chance he will accept not having an open relationship, you should talk to your partner about it before leaving him or putting him on blast.

[@86config]

@@birdgod5584 If you are just thinking of doing it you ask "How do you feel about"( an inquiery about thought ), thats substantially different from "i think we should" or "i want" ( IE an actualy request, as indicated when i used the word "Request"). As to your quaint idea of "Fair", to open a relationship there must be a pre-established and agreed upon exclusive monogamy. I look forward to your explanation of the fairness of proposing breaking already established agreements. Again i will point out the difference between "how do you feel about this idea" and "i want to or I think we should" Ultimately though, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[@rjclar1]

NEVER DO THIS. IT IS SICK AND TWISTED. IT'S AS IF SAYING, "YOU ARE NOT SATISFYING ME, SO I AM GOING TO SCREW OTHER PEOPLE, AND WE WILL STILL BE TOGETHER. WTF?

[@johndavis6719]

Fax my partner mentioned it also this morning felt like I'm not pleasing her enough our sex life is good and we spend alot of time together maybe to much time together I told her we will take breaks from each other.

[@thelimey351]

@@johndavis6719 Make it a permanent break...

[@damianjones6546]

Yeah I agree. Not many people have the ability to be ok in an open or poly relationship. Jealousy is gonna cause a lot of problems

[@thelimey351]

_My partner wants an open relationship_ *DONE* - if you're a man you don't need to know any more, all answers are bad, female fidelity is the cornerstone of a relationship. Friends with Benefits (FWB) has all the upsides & none of the costs of an open relationship for a man. Walk away - no exceptions...

[@sarahalderman3126]

Lol, yes that ALL applies equally to men/make fidelity. If either one is unfaithful, there is no “relationship”. Not sure where you got the whole “female fidelity” is the cornerstone to a relationship part 🤣 but I guess as usual you’re at least half right.

[@thelimey351]

@@sarahalderman3126 Nope, you're demonstrably wrong, throughout history most women have decided that sharing a high value man is better than having an ordinary man to themselves. It has never worked the other way around on a mass scale. I understand that this might hurt your feelings, but these are just the facts.

[@sarahalderman3126]

@@thelimey351 maybe for a small minority of women, which is also true for men who are submissive. To each their own however neither has worked in the long run. The children always end up suffering for the sins of their parents.

[@thelimey351]

@@sarahalderman3126 _maybe for a small minority of women_ *NO* , again, the facts don't back up your narrative - & yes, throughout history it has been successful. I personally for a number of reasons (not moral reasons) don't want that but the truth is the truth.

[@birdgod5584]

That's not fair, though. She may just have simply thought of the idea of opening it, doesn't mean "she is already cheating". If there is a chance she will accept not having an open relationship, you should talk to your partner about it before leaving her or putting her on blast.

[@michaelcollins8328]

If your partner wants an open relationship, she already has someone in mind. Remember, in an open relationship, the partner's primary sexual interest is the other partner.....but this will not happen

[@lawv804]

If she asks for an open relationship, she already has someone in mind she wants to sleep with. Or she already cheating. Break up.

[@brookschann338]

no shot

[@heartspacerelaxations6924]

Makes total sense to me 👍

[@sarahalderman3126]

Not always, though it’s quite likely depending on your personal situation. For example my husband and I have been what I thought was happily married for over 22 years now. Unfortunately I learned 6 months ago now that he has had multiple affairs, 6 total that I’ve confirmed during that time. Including one with my younger sister that lasted for the the last 5-6 years until about a year ago. Of course he denies that any of them meant anything that he still loves me… blah, blah, blah. Being that I’m 44 and have zero interest in beginning a new life with anyone else an open relationship seems appropriate. Keep our financial arrangement, home, commitment to our children etc while at the same time enjoying other peoples company. I mean that is what he did all along, why should I deny myself? He’s obviously busy with others so I feel that there is little reason for me to be lonely. However I get that this is mostly directed at the younger kids…

[@lawv804]

@Sarah Alderman Sounds a bit different than most of the "open relationship" scenarios I hear about. Your case is more understandable. Almost like you're informally divorcing but staying together. Sorry to hear about your troubles.

[@sarahalderman3126]

@@lawv804 yes that is essentially what we did. After discovering the affair’s I went to a lawyer and had papers drawn up to legally protect myself and our children from his extramarital affair’s should any children be produced. This isn’t what I wanted at all, I would have happily grown old with my husband without ever even thinking of stepping out on him. However I don’t have that option.

[@JVDV11]

No sex in 9 years, am I wrong to ask for an open relationship? I've tried breaking up with him dozens of times but he always talks me out of it. I just don't understand why he wants to stay with me if he obviously isn't attracted to me, any men out there got a male perspective on this? Coz I'm quite confused

[@ProfSeloTheGoldenDragon.]

Nine fkng years?!😢😢 My goodness, you need help my dear.

[@JVDV11]

@@ProfSeloTheGoldenDragon. I don’t even remember posting this. Anyway, you’ll be happy to hear I left him… Better late than never I guess 🤷‍♀️

[@bellaroccisano4156]

If your partner wants to be in an open relationship… your simply not enough for him/her. That should motivate anyone to run!

[@yyxy.oncesaid]

If u are not enough then it's probably a good idea to open the relationship if you still want to be with Ur partner

[@gregorychurch605]

I like an open relationship because I know im not enough, and I will never be enough for anyone, I do far too many drugs and I sometimes am not the best/nicest guy. But anyway my open relationship is going good and I love her very much and she loves me too.

[@bellaroccisano4156]

@@gregorychurch605 at least you can admit it. Anyone can change for the better though, I certainly have and I still need improving :)

[@RasLion]

@@gregorychurch605 so little self love

[@dg5175]

There's also the possibility that he could be telling her they're in an open relationship but telling other women, he's casually seeing someone and its not serious at all or he's simply not telling her anything or giving it any label and she's just sleeping with him waiting for a title and commitment.

[@minxbade]

If your partner ask about an open relationship it's over. Don't play this question game because all it does is prolong the pain. It's over.

[@mopes2713]

Yes!

[@eleethtahgra7802]

Yeah, thats just stupid.

[@BW022]

What is the point in asking these? They all rely on trusting your partner after they just betrayed the core tenant of your relationship and even asking them exposes you to more financial, health, emotional, reputation, etc. damages? If you aren't legally tied to the person, leave or kick them out. "I don't commit to women who want to sleep with other people." and block them. If you are living together/married, then you have a mess. Best to say something like "Give me a few days to think about it." Rush to a lawyer the next day, change your passwords, sever finances, check with the landlord, tell family/friends for support (and possibly a place to stay), consider a PI or getting access to her phone for at-fault adultery states, maybe record her, maybe have family or (or make up an excuse to visit family), have her served with divorce papers, make plans to tell everyone else to avoid reputation lose, try to shield any children, secure personal property out of the house, etc.

[@jasonbrown4841]

Well said - thanks for the share. My ex-wife told me on our 3rd date that she was bi and wanted an open relationship. We would be with other women together but she wanted to see other couples on her own. She was open and honest as to what she wanted and I had the choice to take it or leave it. I chose the lifestyle with her, it was not always easy, jealousy for both of us at time but I would not change any part of what we had together. We were together 12 years and broke-up over money matters.

[@dino70253]

I'm not surprised she is now your EXwife lol. What did you think was going to happen?

[@jasonbrown4841]

Hi Deno - thanks for the comment. We actually broke-up due to money maters. We were always open about the relationship, hid nothing - didnt have to. But when it came to money and secret credit cards that was a different matter. I've remarried and she is still into the livestyle. Still friends. @@dino70253

[@MarciaFarrow]

​@@dino70253Clearly didnt read the rest of the comment did you

[@BoiNgocChannel]

For me I asked for open relationship due to long-distance & I still love the other person. However when spending time with other people not your partner you can develop feelings too. I tried to figure out and coming to realize I have different sides of me and each person only can fulfill one side of what I need, not all that I need. Also I’m bisexual too.

[@barbietarbox]

"Having your cake and eating it too" a pervasive phrase ive heard about the subject. I dont like it, but it always makes me think. Just like the piece of cake in front of me

[@fareed1013]

I found myself in an open relationship even after I declined to be in one.

[@ProfSeloTheGoldenDragon.]

Why?! Don't you have pride and self esteem?!

[@xhell84]

It is much easier for any women to get into an open relationship comapring to men. Any women can put some make up and wear her favourite heels and guys would stand a line to have fun and leave her responsibility to her bf or husband. It is never equal

[@SirLuciferMachada]

in my case i am the monogamous and my wife wants and does have a poliamorous life. i love her so much that I can't brake up with her but for me it is daily hardships and suffering, i am trying to make it work but i am braking up in tears every day i dont know wat to do, i never been with no one else then my wife and still have no intention in this time to be with no one, i love her to mich to do that to her but she doesn't mind and sees it as normal (mabe it is) and i cant stop crying nearly every day cant find peace with this situation cause since we both work i only see her several hours vefor we go to sleep one houre before she goes to work and lately she is leaving for more days at a time leaving me alone with anxiety and fred and preoccupation i dont know how to head on from this point in my mind my rational and logical part says to dump her and look for a better partner and the feelings tell me to keep on and do everything for her be there for her and love her fully i am just lost and confused I don't know how to procede with all these conflicting feelings in my body bit by bit i am consuming my self and losing my will to keep on i dont know what to do. sorry for my English its not my forst language being georgian (caucasus country not the state of USA) Sorry for my gramar and spelling.

[@seanbrancati5792]

That's heartbreaking man. I don't want to tell you. See a therapist/psychiatrist. That or trust your instincts

[@perseuswong6864]

“Open Relationship” is just a way to get you become an item some twisted collection. You're not a pair of shoes, a hat or some kitchen ware at another person's disposal. The worst part is you are emotionally tricked into believing you're being selfish and needy if you say no to this elaborate form of voluntary emotional abuse.

[@Chipglockfully]

Literally that fact they say they love you

[@alekmdjl2]

yes

[@basementsinbangladesh1689]

My experience has been a man can POSSIBLY please (not just sexually) multiple women if his mind is right and he can keep order in his circle. But a woman, ideally, only wants one man. There's rarely one woman that can provide ALL the things a man wants. But a woman, at the end of the day, only wants protection and security. If she's the one asking for an open relationship, she hasn't found it in that man.

[@Nis_a44]

Mal

[@dcfmkyn]

While I respect the host's statement near the start when he said he wished he had the maturity to ask these questions before ending his relationship, honestly, breaking up was inevitable. Whether he did or not, his partner didn't respect the monogamy. So, he should not have wasted time.

[@Parisian71]

If a female or male partner wants a '' open relationship '' , it just means that He or She doesn't care for each other and is not interested in building a future together, isn't that right ?? So, the outcome is that kind of relationship is damaging to oneself esteem !!!

[@cherriezzz8081]

My boyfriend ask me this and it really put me in fear because I don't want a open relationship and I no I am going to have to end things because I'm going to get very paranoid now

[@daviddaniels5356]

Old girlfriend brought this up...l ended it that minute and walked out never talked to her again ...

[@birdgod5584]

That's not fair, though. She may just have simply thought of the idea of opening it, doesn't mean "she is already cheating". If there is a chance she will accept not having an open relationship, you should talk to your partner about it before leaving her or putting her on blast.

[@gerrardjames5204]

She has asked for an open relationship over Xmas, I just agreed. My plan is save some money for the next few months and just bail out.

[@karolinah12]

Very toxic way to look for someone "better" whilst they have you on the side. They are telling you it is over, but they are not willing to let you go just yet in case their other plan doesn't work out.

[@warfossil]

Already cheating or has someone lined up. Any talk of an open relationship means that your relationship is over.

[@birdgod5584]

That's not fair, though. She may just have simply thought of the idea of opening it, doesn't mean "she is already cheating". If there is a chance she will accept not having an open relationship, you should talk to your partner about it before leaving her or putting her on blast.

[@warfossil]

@@birdgod5584 The odds and statistics agree with what I said. Plus, you're completely missing the whole point. Why does a monogamous relationship need to be opened up? It's over if this question is ever asked. No one who respects themselves would ever agree to this nonsense unless you both went into your relationship being polyamorous.

[@ArmyWolves]

Open relationship would be like being bought a nice gift but first other people are given the gift to use for a few weeks or months and ultimately you get to receive your gift knowing it was first used by everyone else. It is a second hand gift. Both the man and the woman will feel as though they are getting whatever leftover desire and love is there after the partner goes after what they really wanted. It does not make sense but then again, I am looking in from the outside and do not know how polyamourous individuals feel and process their relationships.

[@juliannoel5715]

Scarey stuff!!! Well done.

[@JustinBrownVids]

Thanks Jules :-)

[@bendoubleu]

@@JustinBrownVids Do you think that you would have done things differently with your previous relationship, had you asked yourself these questions?

[@bdb3350]

If she asks for an open relationship, there is no need for conversation. Silently leave, empty the bank account (if she hasn't beaten you to it), hire an auctioneer and prepare to liquidate everything you own in a few hours, leave the grid and disappear for 7 years

[@DEREKK17]

The comments on this video are SOOOOOOO TOXIC OMG. I feel sorry for all of u

[@michaelduke4500]

Nope, how can you say you're together when you're not? Just stay single then....

[@le_decard]

Just “Run”

[@completelybraindead]

The only question you need to ask is when she's leaving lol. And if the answer isn't the legal minimum time (tenant rights and shit), then you force that to change.

[@kenofken9458]

None of my partners have to ask for an open relationship because they know going in that's the only kind I'll have.

[@poordave1]

Hunny Bunny: can we have an open relationship? (She asks) Pumpkin: (He Hears) 1.) Your not enough… 2.) You want to emasculate … 3.) You get to have all the sex you want by swiping right… 4.) I get to foot the bill… 5.) I get to work to have sex…you get it for free… 6.) I have someone lined up or im already cheating and looking for a retroactive excuse… 7.) You will want to close the marriage if i enjoy it or i choose/have a partner(s) that are more attractive/younger than you… Pumpkin’s answer: Hand me your phone and unlock it…NOW Hunny Bunny: 😳🤬😢😩 Thats how it works in the REAL world 95% of the time…

[@louisdaniello2580]

So when do you ask the question...is there currently someone you have in mind and have you already started the open relationship without letting me know and are merely attempting to assuage guilt for stepping out after the fact and when can you move out

[@Tibchy91]

Lol. The guy in the video is trying to be correct here, and all the comments are brutally narrowminded. My colleague is in an open relationship and he says they never been happier.

[@yahia9481]

After seeing those comments no wonder it didn't work out for me it drove me crazy till she end it

[@thelimey351]

You stayed ? Wow that's sad...

[@sduarte46]

I just recently agreed to do an open relationship with my wife. I don't want other partners myself but she does. I'm just not able to please her sexually and we love each other very deeply and understand one another.Sex is the only real problem in our relationship. So I agreed to do it. I want her happy and to feel good as well. We set certain boundaries and agreements. I think it could be okay but we will see why happens.

[@davidllamas2192]

Been there. I recomend you yo get a divorce now. This happened to me and she went of with her partner... She even asked me permition because "she respected me and wanted me in her Life"

[@sarahalderman3126]

For a woman the only legitimate reason for you not being able to please her sexually is laziness. Learn how to love your own wife dude and forget about the open relationship it will end your marriage.

[@aNaturalist]

​@@sarahalderman3126 that's not true. Some women want a dominant aggressive sex partner, and if us submissive guys are forced to be dominant, we might not perform well and/or might feel resentment over time.

[@aNaturalist]

There's a whole lot of relationships where this works well, where opening up is about the woman's extra sexual needs. The husband/boyfriend needs to be really into that though, or turned on by it. Often, it's a journey both partners go on together, even if the actual sex she has is 1 on 1. The husband is usually helping her make decisions and they are a team in seeking out arrangements for her. Hotwifing is one label to describe that, but no label has to be used.

[@sarahalderman3126]

@@aNaturalist how you have sex is an entirely separate issue than who you have sex with. People can be either dominant or submissive during sex, and their roles can change back and forth. Sex is like everything else in a relationship, a delicate balance between meeting our own needs and the needs of our partner. Pleasing your spouse through the use of our body is a major component of pair bonding, an essential element.

[@victoria7477]

We, in my case, my boyfriend brought up wanting to be in an open relationship today because he likes the thought of me having sex with other people. He also asked me would I be okay with him doing the same. So with him it's just more of a "sex" thing. He even mentioned after like either me or him have sex with someone he'd want us to have sex after. I have thought about having sex with other people but I'm not sure if this will work on my part. Due to me easily catching feelings espresso if me and another man was to hit it off. I'm only going to try it because I love him and because I also want to just see for myself how it will be. We've been together for 5 years and he said it's something he thought about for a while and decided that he needed to be open with me about it.

[@davidllamas2192]

Don't, you are not sure

[@tofolcano9639]

It's a fetish, tell him to try cold showers. Just say "it's good for your skin" or some shit.

[@aNaturalist]

I'm similar to him that I get huge satisfaction watching or being told details. I wouldn't dabble with others much myself except at certain parties twice a year. Remember, feelings can be felt without doing all of the super romantic dating. A few people can do polyamory, which slathers on romance really thick. I think dating friends with benefits is more sustainable though. Have a little bit of connection and feelings with FWB's, but there's no need for the L word, "love".

[@victoria7477]

@tofolcano9639 lol, he said it was more of a "fantasy," and wouldn't be mad if I was not interested in doing it.🤨

[@beehungry6190]

Your relationship is on its way out

[@THunt-ss4hy]

If your partner asks for an open relationship, the have no respect or love for you. Zero.

[@carolleite6256]

I get confused.. in an "open relationship" are we talking just sex or having a "real" relationship (with feelings for other people)? Personally I couldn't be in an open relationship and I've been on the receiving end of adultery where feelings were involved..not just the act of intimacy. But for some it works for others it doesn't it's just hard to be the one that it doesn't work for but not realize it till it's too late. So these are excellent questions to ask!!

[@THunt-ss4hy]

5 questions? Nah. Soon as the words “open relationship” come out your mouth it’s over.

[@danielserin1862]

Exactly!! People, do not listen to this weak man. If your woman asks you this there are no questions to be asked. The only thing that should be said is “sure; go pack your shit.”

[@ajura8926]

My husband of 17yrs just suggested an open relationship. He says it’s for my own good. Is our marriage over and he doesn’t know how to tell me???

[@tcantrell5301]

How did it end up?

[@nodgelyobo1]

He's got someone in mind and due to his guilt he needs your consent........dump him

[@heartspacerelaxations6924]

He either feels inadequate, or he is watching too much porn, of the cuckolding variety. Are you having sex with him? Does he want to watch or hear about the stories? (Vicarious pleasure)

[@darthjoel6357]

You don’t ask any questions. Just walk away. 1. She’s already cheating and wants legalize the cheating. 2. She already has someone in mind if she wants to have sex with. 3. She’s in an emotional relationship with someone and wants to take it further. 4. No person that claims they love you that your in a relationship with would ever suggest this even if joking 5. She will always make sure it’s a one sided open relationship for her. 6. Great probability that she could get pregnant and try to pawn the other man’s child off on you. Cut your losses and leave.

[@geocape7060]

I/m confused. You say you want to remain single. If that's what you want then how can you expect a woman to stay true to you forever? What's in it for her? Doesn't make sense to me.

[@northernsilverstacker1641]

Couples will inherently change over time and not necessarily together or at the same time. My wife and I are polyamorous (30 years), we have been together for 30 years and married for 25. We opened up our marriage because we both believe that one person cannot meet all of our needs. We were poly during our dating and university years, once we had our two children we stopped doing poly as we wanted to make sure we were focusing on our children and not introducing any other individuals into the the household that could cause instability for our children and we were also in professional careers and were concerned about the ramifications if our employers found out. Our children are now 17 and 22, they are both aware of our poly relationships and have supported our choices. As far as employment goes, no one cares anymore as long as you don't bring it into the workplace, we're lucky that times and laws (in Canada) have changed and these type of relationships are no longer frowned upon. I do not advocate of behalf of poly or open relationships as it can destroy a marriage or relationship if not navigated properly or both people are not wholeheartedly in agreement. I am a therapist and over the past 8 years have only counseled couples who want to transition from monogamous to non-monogamous relationships. I have seen many successes since opening this practice and I really enjoy helping couples through the process.

[@Frog_Mob_Boss]

Open relationship is a euphemism for w#●Ring around.

[@fancyname5997]

Beautifully done

[@robwatts8730]

What an insightful video

[@pedromarymichelparks5345]

If he requests this from you, that's easy: dump him. NOW!

[@heartspacerelaxations6924]

I feel that I would be happy for my wife to explore her sexuality with women, but not guys.

[@lonelylongdistancekiller9844]

whats the difference? lol one is just hotter to you so it's cool?

[@dg5175]

Why not? I'd like to hear the difference in your opinion. She's still sharing her private parts with other people. What difference does it make in gender?

[@moonlitshy.]

I saw some negative comments, but i think if you both non-monogamy, this could work. But if one is not pro then both of you no need to be in a relationship and just accept that both of are not meant to each other.

[@spaveevo]

RUN

[@tonymoore2987]

My responses as I listen as a person in and around successful open relationships. You could also say “My partner asked me to be in a MONOGAMIST relationship and to be honest it destroyed me and my relationship” said the the vast majority of people in marriages that end in divorce, infidelity and unhappiness…LOL!

[@eleethtahgra7802]

Of course. It takes commitment. Once the commitment fail, its divorce. Open marriage bs is where theres no commitment at all.

[@VictoriaCaldwell1215]

I really appreciate your point of view. This is where I am with my partner. Trying to force himself into monogamy, so I feel more comfortable is hurting him, so badly. I never asked him to do that, but he feels like he has to. We are currently working on correcting that. If you feel inclined, I would really love to connect with you and chat. I feel like your experience could help me navigate this more effectively. Just let me know if you are interested in being a part of this journey with me and we can work out a way to talk😊

[@Honestlylovely]

It’s plenty of people that want one person

[@aNaturalist]

I think choosing to open up a relationship for novelty and variety makes complete sense! The couple must still go on dates together too though, and keep it fresh. Also, I think going the Friend's with Benefits route is more sustainable than polyamory. Then, polyamory with hierarchy, kinda poly-lite, is more sustainable long-term than very egalitarian polyamory. I was a secondary lover of a married poly woman for 6.5 years. Not many couples last longer than 10 years in polyamory unless they love polyamory as much as their lovers. Then, they stick with the rules more.

[@THunt-ss4hy]

That’s a lot of words to cope for being used by a couple

[@marlene.vandenhengel]

Thank you Justin.

[@managerialelitetoaster3456]

First: End the relationship.

[@velvetsloth]

Different people have different preferences. Some people are more possessive or prone to jealousy than others while some people have a higher sex drive or capacity for intimacy. I don’t think it’s fair to judge or assume anything about any person based on their authentic inclinations.

[@thelimey351]

Thanks Captain Obvious...

[@reezgaming1475]

Come one do Bs people there’s only 2 reasons someone wants an open relationship 1. There’s someone they want to sleep with that they are thinking about sleeping with and don’t want to cheat And 2. They are already cheating and want the ok after the fact to keep doing it

[@johndavis6719]

My partner asked me about this recently I think we just have been spending too much time together and need a break from one another but she has mentioned it other times also.

[@jessicaderosa9625]

Left her

[@johndavis6719]

@@jessicaderosa9625 ha do you mean leave her.

[@thelimey351]

@@johndavis6719 Yes, RUN AWAY.

[@realjoedee]

FYI she's asking for permission to replace you. The relationship is done.

[@sarahalderman3126]

Depends on her motivation… she could be trying to assess your commitment to the relationship…

[@alank9754]

I would only ask one question. Do you want to use two lawyers or one. That will be the only question I would want an answer too.

[@Nostradamusknow]

Justin take a good look in the mirror, you will know why you partner wanted an open relationship. Weak men carry the weakness written all over their face.

[@Vurgo130]

Why having a relationship in the first place?

[@Leo_de_janeiro]

Open Relationship doesnt exist, its the oppostite concept what the root of a relationship is. The debate itself is an insult to intelligence.

[@Thomas_Winters]

I just want sex. I feel like the relationship is great but we won’t ever have sex because he doesn’t want it at all. I feel bitter.

[@Serif_EZ]

Yo si creo en la monogamia

[@jjm152]

Gentlemen. If your girlfriend or wife asks for an open relationship, you should demand to see her phone immediately. Chances are it's already open and you don't know it. I suspect that in this gentlemans case, this is exactly what was going on - his girlfriend was already seeing other guys and either the guilt, or the inconvenience of having to lie, got to her. It's cute however that he's still able to rationalize away some of his visceral reactions (especially the obviously correct one about his value, or lack thereof in the relationship) as "insecurities". I have to tip my hat in respect to the effectiveness of this sort of blue-pill liberal cultural brainwashing. It is absolutely powerful and kind of eerie to see in action.

[@deficator750]

no she asked you to be in an open relationship to hide the fact that she cheated on you. What a psychopath.