My search for masculinity: Joel Stein at TEDxStanford

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

[@lukeb8045]

The reaction in the comments section is interesting. Why do we feel it is necessary to impose our values on to a guy who appears to be a loving husband and great father? The truth is we can't all fit into a particular kind of mold of how we think we should be. From what i can tell he is doing a reasonable job in trying to be a decent human being. Courage does show up in some strange places as I think it took a measure of courage to do this talk.

[@1995yuda]

Funny how most of the comments are 'men' that didn't get it. You should have been smarter and educated yourselfs about the ongoing war on men and boys,making you nothing more than a shadow of a real man,unable to realise and face your gut feeling. You have been stripped of your masculanity. Greatest TED talk I've ever heard. Great job doing a manly video about a truly manly subject. I also didn't appericiate the reaction...

[@LuciferXFallen290]

I think you should stop making assumptions and definitely stop judging

[@eddenoy321]

The destructive behaviours of macho culture speak for themselves.Joel is not macho,but he's a sucessful,content happy man.Everyone should be so lucky.

[@wait500]

"destructive features of macho culture" Self hate is somewhere in there.

[@Ducky_logan]

“Fear of confrontation” That’s me!! I do need to confront more.

[@symbiosister]

I think he's talking more about how the whole idea of being "manly" requires, at the very least, some major rethinking.

[@PhaseDynamic]

Of course. The definitions we get from mainstream culture, TV / movies are hyper masculine caricatures who settle everything through violence. They don't tend to have social responsibilities, many strong relationships be it with family or friends and don't usually have a strong sense of duty to other people unless they are in the military. Also the definitions we get from family can be just as narrow. We need much better definitions of manliness, ones that show usefulness to yourself, your family and your community are very important. And that imposing your will and being confrontational and aggressive does not define you as a good man. Im not saying be soft but your manhood shouldn't depend on pure strength alone. Brett McKays art of manliness website is a good resource for learning about masculine culture and philosophy from all around the world.

[@rr7firefly]

Joel Stein should become my best friend. I'd look after him and he could provide me with the best conversation. Possibly even provide some good advice?

[@LighthammerStudios]

2 minutes in: This guy is a wimp. 5 minutes in: Yeah...a wimp 7:26: That's a solid truth. We learn by doing. Conclusion: You don't have to be a wimp all your life. Go do some shit.

[@bonto42]

Tedx is not Ted, it just uses the Ted platform to convey ideas. It's independently run by communities that want to use the Ted-experience for their audiences, kind of like a franchise that helps a speaker deliver a message. It's usually communities or colleges (hence TedxStanford) versus the actual Ted Conferences, LLC organization.

[@GATACA74]

did not get the idea behind this ...

[@AlldataBox]

How?

[@ShaolinHero1]

Lol my first observation was, he doesn't look very masculine. Then I saw all the comments. nice lol

[@kkc552]

Watch the movie Fight Club (1998). We man are the creatures of survival, not obsessers of TV, iPhone or Internet.

[@mashkanyc]

I guess you have to be a man to understand the conclusion? What does "learn by doing" and you are the sum of your life experiences have to do with the concept of masculinity? Is he saying the more experiences you have in life the more of a "man" you are?

[@GDKLockout]

The only Manventure worth doing is 60 days alone camping.

[@mariachiingles2348]

He has nothing to communicate, why does he feel he has to do a TED talk on this topic?

[@boliussa]

I don't agree that it's about what you do 'cos you can sit on the couch and scratch your balls all day and that's manly too. But this seems to be less rambly than Brett McKay's talk. Really all these people lecturing about it aren't that manly and should probably not be lecturing about it! I think it's essentially a frame of mind, aside from having to do anything. It's not like if you're lazy you are no longer manly.

[@jasonschneijder2012]

+boliussa That's not manly at all, that's childish behaviour

[@boliussa]

Jason Schneijder I guess men tend to be more lazy than women but i'm not sure.. For a proper job men might have the edge, but for housework men might be lazierm which might make them more lazy generally since housework isn't generally an earner.

[@jasonschneijder2012]

boliussa I thin men aren't lazier than women, they're just more competitive and in housekeeping you can't compete or get a better status, with paid jobs you can

[@boliussa]

Jason Schneijder so wouldn't that mean that the competing can counter any lazyness but once you remove that competing element, men are lazier?

[@jasonschneijder2012]

boliussa Men can be lazier, some are some aren't.

[@atthehops]

Is being "gay" manly?

[@iknowthings7367]

Show him the list after he had become a man.

[@JackBresler]

This is truly the first disappointing TED clip I have ever seen.

[@blitherbox7467]

Do the thing. Or you can't. Put a man on the moon again. Everything likes that. You have to deal with everything. I am the result of everything. Look what I wrote.

[@coolio4046]

this is actually awful

[@iknowthings7367]

Show him the list after he had become a man.