My Story of Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses

(Cedars' vlog no. 239) In this video I share the story of my transition from believing Jehovah's Witness, committed to being reunited with his mother in a future resurrection, to an "apostate" ex-JW activist.
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[@natswii]

I'm not a JW or even religious and stumbled on this topic via Chris Stuckman video but the topic is fascinating.

[@commandertorres]

Chris Stuckmann’s Videos got me into this discussion of Ex-JW horror stories. As a kid who grew up in a catholic household, some of the stories are hear are so heartbreaking

[@HitOrChrisTV]

I am the same, I never really thought about JW at all but Chris’s story got me interested and I found this and a few other channels. I find it really interesting but also horrifying that people are stuck believing these things in plain sight.

[@joemoment-o1275]

Same

[@anigrav2661]

Same here.

[@jonathanbills1238]

I’m a Christian and realizing how glad I am that I’m not controlled like a puppet

[@theislandworkshop8453]

i was a JW from birth to the age of 15, within years of me leaving my older sister left and my younger brother, and then a few years after that both my parents left. im now 33 and we now joke that my dad wanted to be a JW to save money on Christmas and birthdays. love what your doing, keep it up.

[@lewisreeves9843]

thats a great story

[@lisas7046]

Funny!!! 😂

[@3-methylindole730]

Christmas maybe, there's many who think so, but how is BIRTHDAY satanic? 🤡

[@JAF2991]

@@jakestartv5617 peenoise

[@chrisdurant4627]

@@3-methylindole730 who wants to celerbrate, getting old, no thankyou,, get.my.point,

[@stevesstuff9680]

Closing in on 40 year years since I was disfellowshipped as a teenager and it still hurts. I think about my family every day and wonder if they think about me. You couldn't begin to understand how much you have helped me. Thankyou sincerely

[@eabay2102]

Don't tell me that your family hasn't spoken to you since you were disfellowshipped 40 years ago?

[@andyman10]

@@eabay2102 Unfortunately it happens a lot.

[@rjhikups78]

Not disfellowshipped....but same result here. 30 plus yrs

[@patriciabell3665]

It’s very sad to hear that but yes they think 🤔 of you but you have to show them that you are doing well in this world out here . Hold your head up and just pray for your family and found your family that are not jw and let them love ❤️ on you . Just do well and love yourself. You can make it if you have to go back to school do it if you want to go to college do it. 🙏🙏🙏🙏 for them and keep it moving. Be great and be well,

[@sarahlee9320]

My daughter find you while the whole family was still a witness even the elders came to our house to talk to us. 3 years later the whole family is out and love your Chanel. You are reaching people and preventing families from being torn apart. Thanks 🙏

[@romulorodrigues5298]

Amazing story, Sarah

[@theresatexas3397]

So glad I stumbled onto your video. I was a JW for 53 years. Left in 2012 and never been happier.

[@durianepicurean]

You don't look over 60 years old!

[@theresatexas3397]

@Marc Caldwell go back to your cult and leave us happy people alone

[@theresatexas3397]

@@durianepicurean thank you 😊

[@archangeljesus4369]

1 Timothy 4:1

[@BA-gd1ub]

When you get sick, or suffer some tragedy I wonder who you’re going to pray to or call on 🤔 oh I guess living in Satan’s fantasy world is keeping you happy.

[@saffronhammer7714]

Despite all I suffered, I am no longer angry at being raiesd JW, as I know my mother was doing her best and truly believed she was saving my life and giving me everlasting life. But, if I could go back in time and wake up decades earlier--and not raise my two daughters in this Doomsday cult, I would. If there were anything I could do to take away from my children the unhappiness and trauma and very real lasting damage , I would.

[@saffronhammer7714]

@Skjeren Kristjenson You and your daughter are very lucky, and I am happy for your family. If I had woken up earlier, I would have done the same as you. If wishes were horses.....

[@penelopep2678]

@Abigail Parker I totally feel the same way. Thankfully the kids and their families all followed us out. So I am at least they didn't have to wait as long as we did. I struggle with letting it go but it's getting better with time.

[@WarmasAsunnedcat]

That's a lovely way of looking at things. Enjoy your life and freedom and i hope it all comes together for you and your loved ones.

[@jfb919]

@@-jwkz7434 а за что вас лишили общения?

[@saffronhammer7714]

@@penelopep2678 , thank you.

[@dustinlee7367]

This is my husbands and I’s first year after leaving - we left in February of this year but have been thinking about it for a few years prior to that. I’m currently pregnant with our third baby and the only part I find hard is knowing that our families don’t get the joy of knowing these wonderful kids. Also knowing that they think we are troubled or in some way rebelling. When its strictly just been a realization, an awakening and finding happiness elsewhere. Being abandoned for a different way of thinking really just seals the deal in my mind. Thank you for sharing your story!

[@Nycgirl33]

Wishing you guys the best of luck.

[@Annie261.]

...and I’s ??? and my. We learn this in grade school.

[@deniseyweesy]

@@Annie261. and one learns not to be an asshole in Kindergarten.

[@Muzzie0323]

@@Annie261. - You must be a JW troll.

[@meghansullivan6812]

Good for you for thinking for yourself!!! 💙

[@fredrogers4778]

Only those who have grown up in this religion can understand how difficult it can be to abandon friends and in many cases family members. Thank you for sharing your story, hope you have enjoyed celebrating your birthday for the first time!

[@anonymoususer6942]

Best thing I ever did was leave. Beginning of the end was when a pioneer told me when my baby was hungry, “let him stay hungry, he needs to learn to suffer. This is an essential quality for a servant of Jehovah”. This was just one of many eye-opening moments for me. I appreciate your videos. And seriously you’re like the best husband ever!

[@dominicesposito4394]

Wow. That's just horrific on so many levels 😭 I'm so glad you left

[@Biancacomolanieve]

What the hell! These witnesses are so bold. That’s so wrong to say.

[@Pursuepeace0715]

they know scripture but lack accurate knowledge. they say a lot dumb BS like that

[@Barbara-jq2se]

Re: comment: 👆Congratulations for leaving this cult of cruelty! I wish you the best in your new life journey! 🙏they’re gonna get their wake up call! But it might just be too late! Up to Jesus Christ to decide everybody’s fate. But you’ve made your decision/choice! 👍

[@slobette]

Thank you for opening up yourself and showing your more vulnerable side!! Your journey has been a tough one, but it’s made your new life even sweeter! Welcoming a second child, who will be born free is another precious gift! I have 2 sons and the joy I had watching them be whomever they wanted to be and enjoying birthdays and holidays, filled my heart... freedom is amazing

[@stephenhammonds2834]

Faded in 97. My folks have never met my daughter now 21. Yeah I was angry, but I don't think about it anymore and I am very grateful that she never had anything to do with these people. Thanks for your honesty

[@amandapark7786]

I appreciate your opening up and owning your full story. I have a lot of respect for you for that and I think I can speak for most exjws when I say that the work you and other activists do is truly extraordinary and we can't thank you enough.

[@minnieburton251]

Why do you after learning about. The. God of the Hebrew scriptures pointing to Jesus Christ end up being an atheist.

[@amandapark7786]

Minnie Burton Because the Bible doesn’t have enough evidence to support what it says. Be it creation, the various stories which often were plagiarisms of older stories, or proof that Jesus existed as specified in the Bible and is the son of god. Lack of supporting evidence goes for any other religious text.

[@pluggedinplayerful]

Amen sister.

[@toma3447]

@@amandapark7786 There is so much evidence for the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. Stop letting religion blind you. The truth isn’t a religion. The truth is a person, Christ Jesus, the creator of the heavens and earth. Salvation come from faith not works so that no man can boast. God is so good. He could change your heart. He could change your life ❤️

[@coalhouse1981]

I was never JW.. i was Mormon but the similarities in yout stories to mine are scary

[@Keithbarber]

Jehovahs witnesses, mormons, Plymouth brethren are 3 organisations that I steer well clear of If any of them, or representatives of, approach me, I refuse to speak to them, telling jehovah's witnesses I am disfellowshipped, mormons and Plymouth brethren, I just ignore them and dont engage in conversation with them and walk on Mormons elders wear badges saying their elders

[@sithlordhibiscus9936]

I actually just had to look up the differences bc my cousin is a Mormon completing his brainwa-... mission trip. His story is basically the story of every JW I've heard. He was lured in while in Miami at uni in a state of "finding himself". He ended up dropping out of school to join them. He's attended the strangest courses like, "Manhood", where he apparently had to learn how to interact with women and their fathers in a backyard cookout situation (not joking). He was told he HAD TO TAKE A COURSE in learning how to talk to females. He's come out as bisexual or gay, but since h'es not allowed to date anyone, he can't be sure of if he wants a woman, a man, anyone. And, he's privately loving and pro-LGBT,minorities, etc. but still has this indoctrination of brainwashing that tells him it's not okay and he has to deny himself. I just don't get it.

[@Livinglife595]

SithLord Hibiscus that’s strange. I’ve been a moron ( Latter Day Saint) for 48 years and never heard of that. Are you sure he is Mormon?

[@olchat2012]

@@Livinglife595 but, I'm sure you've heard of FTC, haven't you ? Flirt To Convert. There are a few other niceties you might ignore about your cult as well... Not everyone is shown the same book Pamela 😉

[@Livinglife595]

OooC yes i am aware of that too and it’s not condoned. Can’t be converted rightly through a flirt. I’ve been a lds for 48 years so nothing surprises me. Sometimes the actions of people don’t reflect the true nature of the religion unfortunately. But we’re only human.

[@laurajones8943]

Thank you for sharing your story, Lloyd. It takes a great deal of courage and self-awareness to be able to walk away from a destructive belief system, especially when that system is what you have known your entire life. You have helped me understand Jehovah’s Witnesses and their mindsets, and actually helped me better understand their point of view. Your criticism and scrutiny is valid and fair, not scathing or rage-filled. Thank you for sharing your story with us, including those deeply personal and very painful moments. I think you have helped people more than you know.

[@manny2032]

I was born in 1941 and grow up with JW parents with firm conviction about their faith. While growing up, I accompanied them in their weekly house-to-house preaching. I became very active in the faith, and at the age of 18, I became a Literature Servant ( that was the terminology before), and was groomed to be a Congregation Servant (an old terminology). While in college, I met all kinds of students with all kinds of beliefs and found them to be nice people. I began to question my belief that I should only associate with people of my belief. After college, I began to question some of our dogmas and began to notice people of my congregation the way they treated their families. Some were nasty, some have broken families, and I attributed that to the religious teachings... hence a handful were broken families. A few years after college, and employment, I married my girlfriend with a different religion. We were married in her church. We raised our 3 wonderful children as Catholics, with an emphasis to respect for all kinds of religions My youngest sister happily married an Egyptian Arab, our youngest daughter happily married to an American Jewish, my 2 sons married Catholics. We gather together every Christmas and Hanukah and we combine the celebration with unity and joy. An awesome tradition for us.

[@womanofthenang3210]

Thank you for sharing your personal journey. Much appreciated. Love to you and your family 💛

[@alexflores9582]

I left my desktop on... I noticed my mom which is a witness started to listen to your video. I didn't say anything until she started questioning me about you! I'm being friendly towards her and the organization and I am happy she is still questioning me about your channel ;)

[@ForHireGeek]

Good luck I hope she finds the questions that lead to the answers that help her break away. I wish my parents would just take a second to question but they this all they have known their whole lives and I doubt they will ever leave.

[@juliensavoie4742]

what's the update on this Alex?

[@coop533]

Thanks again lloyd !. My wife and I walked away (woke up) a couple years ago now...and has never been happier..all best to you and fam!

[@blvckemo_]

I'm lucky I left while 17 I still have a long life ahead I can enjoy without silly restrictions

[@sunyellow703]

Not only silly. Destructive as well.

[@sleepythemis]

Larissa Maron Yes. Silly religious reasons.

[@DannyvdLans]

I was 12 whitout silly restrictions .

[@joshuachukwu3023]

"No one comes to me except the father draws him" said Jesus You certainly were not given the chance to dine with the world thats why you stop worshiping Jehovah. If not what were you lacking?

[@locustlocust7405]

Just listen to yourself.

[@michellejarvis7878]

Elders never apologize. So true. An elder's wife assaulted me physically in the Kingdom Hall. He was standing 2 feet away and didn't left a finger to stop her. He was told to apologize. He basically said that I deserved to be assaulted. I am so glad I am out of that toxic environment.

[@claudiaarmah2389]

Did she do that?Shame on the elder

[@michellejarvis7878]

@@claudiaarmah2389 It's a Boys' Club, they were an Elder couple, they were allowed to get away with her behavior because he was friendly with the other Elders and I was nobody to them.

[@Umbrellas-and-Espresso]

Remember that there are different personalities in every religion and not everyone is going to get along or like each other. Im sorry you got assaulted, there is no excuse for that. He should have apologized, you said he was told to apologize - so it sounds like he and his wife are the ones who were in the wrong, not necessarily the entire congregation

[@michellejarvis7878]

@SL Turner No. I reported his "apology" to the other Elders. They basically tried to bully me into dropping the matter. He was never even remotely punished for facilitating the assault. He called and told her I was at the Hall, and stood next to her while she assaulted me. She had to stop being a regular pioneer. That was it. No reprimand, public or private. His buddies on the Elder body called and told me I shouldn't be upset if nothing happens to them. Btw, if you even care, my arm was black and blue for 3 weeks. This woman was huge. I am quite small. I did not attack her, she attacked me.

[@essiepess7156]

So proud of you Lloyd! I’m a former brainwashed cult addict and have been free and clean for around 15 years now lol! Have been privately reproved, publicly reproved and disfellowshipped, had the full blown book thrown at me basically and I’m happier now out of it than I ever was! I still get the messages of pity, and the ‘what a shame’ comments which make me giggle as I am the free one! Good for you fella, all the best to you and your family!

[@josephwatson5964]

Essie Pess well done Essie, like everything in this world, a con for money, all want is bank notes put in wooden box, so elders drunkards, can put in there, bank accounts...

[@essiepess7156]

Slavic Doggo I understand you are offended by what I wrote, I would of been too while I was a witness, I’m sorry for that! But the reality is you are ‘fed’ the information the organisation choose to give you so of course they are always right and speaking the truth as far as the congregations are concerned because they are not permitted to research independently, and if you do you are classed as evil! If they really are teaching you the truth, it should stand up against any other apposition no matter where it is from! If by some miracle Armageddon does come and I am classed as evil, I am fine with that because I know I have led a happy full life rather than living in a religion that permitted me to be abused, accused, slandered and then kicked me while I was down on countless occasions! It’s just my story and my opinion. I wish you all the best and happiness x

[@josephwatson5964]

Essie Pess not offended, it brainwashing, take advantage when your in, a depressed state like me, make it worse, if you let them.....

[@rebeccaconlon9743]

@Slavic Doggo to believe you worship the devil is a strawman, you put that up to make outsiders look extreme when we are no different to you. And then to play on the OP's emotions of pain, asking "were you abused" no normal person would ask that as a response... I'm currently in a long term discussion with a few JW's and all of the texts they have provided me all play the same tune, make you feel worthless about yourself, followed by making you feel empathetic to a strawman/unrealistic situation, and then sympathy to the reader then a "supporting" frame to replace the one they torn down. Then the rules within the cult is to limit outside contact to ensure faith and "purity" thereby chaining someones social life to those who can call them out for wrong think/behaviour to further control, as other members would want to be seen as virtuous and more moral than the "outsiders" to further their position within the cult. Other methods of furthing position is recruiting and teaching the doctrine. To keep people convinced that they should fear being those who are "outsiders" the cult puts something at stake that can only be proven with time, which you can then keep changing the date... Such as an end of the world situation where your existence is at stake... Would recommend reading books about what makes a cult, a cult as you'll find many "faiths" fall into this...

[@bargainbeauty7529]

Essie Pess Why, were you privately reproved? Then, Publicly reproved? And, THEN 😳 DISFELLOWEDSHIP? 😕

[@sandraschwan358]

Thank you for sharing your story. Please consider interviewing more women who have left the organization. The abuse of power and male dominated hierarchy among JW's is extremely oppressive to women. This was one of the main reasons I left the organization.

[@mamabear8555]

When I was in I thought my case was a single case. I could not imagine my horrible experiences were experienced anywhere else and I just waited on Jehovah to set things straight. Didnt know there were so many with the SAME story! On an epidemic proportion!

[@sandraschwan358]

@@mamabear8555 Absolutely! Now add the stigma that I was not "raised in the truth" and the problem compounds. I was a superstar when I first became a witness....like a novelty but soon was considered a lower class witness. . Not top shelf quality in their eyes yet, I was stellar in my service and personal life. It was never good enough.

[@mamabear8555]

@@sandraschwan358 soooo many have this feeling of not feeling good enough! So sad!

[@sandraschwan358]

@@mamabear8555 unfortunately, that is the case due to intentional design by the ones giving out the information. People who are beaten down emotionally, mentally, etc....are abused and often stay out of fear of retribution.

[@creoleladee]

Why is there a stigma attached to not being "raised in the truth"?

[@pluggedinplayerful]

I can't tell you how much this video has helped me 10 years after leaving. Thank you.

[@steveyoung4107]

I'm not a JW, but I do enjoy your stories .

[@edisazepic27]

Me too 💓

[@lapella8435]

Thank you for making this channel. Both sets of my grandparents and my parents were JWs. I was born into it. My grandparents woke up and escaped but my parents didn't. At 14 I tried to commit suicide as I hated it so much. Even now at 34 I am ashamed I was brought up as a JW. At 16 I ran away and a worldly boyfriends family took me in. Now all my family are out. But I have nothing to do with them because I am so hurt that they made me grow up in this cult. I receive counselling and have managed to find happiness. My heart cries for all those teenagers trapped. Please keep doing these videos. Hopefully it helps those who want to escape but cannot due to being under 16. You are probably saving someone's life. X

[@simahlanga]

This is a year later but I hope you’re still doing well.

[@carolsimpson4422]

I hope you don't still feel ashamed about your background. You were just underprivileged and isolated. Should children of addicts feel ashamed of growing up surrounded by criminals and crazy people? I hope you have found forgiveness for yourself- and for them. I can understand being embarrassed to reveal what makes you different from the average person. Noone wants to be pitied or looked down on. But shame is a heavy burden you shouldn't shoulder. It shouldn't even factor in.

[@marciomaia4020]

You no doubt made a difference in my life. Thank you for your hard work.

[@stevejeffries1603]

Hes the man for the job

[@danielsias6733]

Let the Truth be heard and helpful

[@rafaeldavid9726]

I really admire you and your story... Just don't stop doing what you do...

[@johanmena1692]

He is an spanish apostate and is making videos 2 and is puertorican

[@krusher181]

Lmfao, this comment almost sounds like a threat. Unintentionally funny, to me.

[@Timmering]

Rafael David Yo... you kinda look like him. Are you long lost brothers?

[@helensan12]

I am reading your book now. I really appreciate your work.Thanks

[@rebeccalucas6063]

Thank you for being open about your life, it wasn't easy to admit I'm sure. Your channel was the VERY first I came across to wake me up 3 years ago.

[@sparkleandbertie]

I was brought up in the Witnesses by my mother, she was on her own with two children. I attended all meeting, field service ect. I gave up wordly opportunities to stay loyal to the truth. It wasn't until my grandfather died, he wasn't a witness, I was truly heartbroken, my world did come crashing down, he loved me. If you have ever lost a strong bond of love you are deeply affected, you cannot run. The loss was the start of watching the actions rather than the talk. As a woman I was affected more from that than delving into doctrine. I knew from a deep soul level that what I was witnessing and experiencing was not healthy or loving instead huge repression on all levels, control, manipulation for ultimate control. I walked away eventually, this is now over 20 years ago. I lost my family and home, it took over 10years to work through the conditioning I had to release. It is no mean feat, layers of it. My world opened up gradually. I still hold spiritual beliefs but they are much more open to real feelings with understanding and most of all love.

[@razenhaubemazenha]

Thanks for sharing your story. I remember when I was a witness some elders saying something about John Cedars being "a notorious apostate" and having a website that had "make a lot of brothers fall". I remember thinking that you were possessed by demons :) Little did I knew that I would start having doubts and fading away on my own. I found your site after deciding to leave the organisation (I ended up getting catch red handed and disfellowship in a unrelated issue) and it helped to strengthen my own position.

[@crystalkhan3876]

Jehovah is Holy,we who bears His name must be holy.The semem that comes out after masterbation can make a baby..that makes us a murderer.

[@crystalkhan3876]

Not only Jehovah's people will be saved.The Bible says,a great crowd will pass through the great tribulation.

[@crystalkhan3876]

Only Jehovah knows who earns life in the new system.God's Word says in Zep;2:3-"Seek righteousness,seek meekness,probably you may be concealed in the day of His anger.

[@emmawood6869]

@@crystalkhan3876 go preach your bs else where

[@dominicesposito4394]

@@emmawood6869 LOL she's joking. Don't take it seriously 🤣

[@carllange4297]

Recently discovered your videos, Lloyd. Became a Witness in high school (from "the world", not growing up in a JW family). Was very zealous and quickly heavily involved but burned out in a few years for a number of reasons and disassociated. This all happened nearly 30 years ago but that period has had a lifelong effect on me. I blocked out a lot of my experiences and emotions from that time and your channel is helping me resolve some lingering deep seated memories and fallout. Also interesting to see over all this time how much the WT changes and contorts to maintain power. Floored by that ludicrous overlapping generation BS to explain away why Armageddon didn't happen but I'm sure it's just around the corner :) Thanks for your work

[@truthisalie159]

Lloyd you are such an amazing human being!!!! Continue doing what you do. Love and blessings to you and your family😍❤️😘

[@sunyellow703]

So manipulative of them to tell grieving people that they will see their lost loved ones only when and if they are loyal JWs. Very destructive!

[@kaipicken1766]

Sun Yellow shut up you scruff

[@laurenkatewarren5589]

Well we try to tell people and help but most poeople could care leass so thats not being destructive

[@solidsnake11087]

Honestly it's so insidious when you think about it. A person dies and the cult uses that grief to sink its hooks into you further.

[@xochi8126]

that’s what they believe, it’s not manipulative

[@xochi8126]

@@solidsnake11087 thats not true at all

[@southernbawselady7092]

Lloyd, you have a very interesting and fulfilling life story!..Congrats on all of your blessings! Can't wait for the Leah Remini after party on Wednesday! 🎉🎉

[@livquin8557]

Thank you for sharing your story in the most honest way without the vitriol that so many others do. I've only been watching your channel for a few days & it's helped me to start to deal with walking away from JWs 14 years ago. I was never baptized but my father was an elder when we were young, after a near fatal accident he 'lost his privilege of being an elder' his pride kept him from telling others in the congregation what happened & in so many ways the people he helped turned their backs on him, but he's still so committed to the organization. Our family was the first to become a 'broken family' due to my mother divorcing my father and being dis-fellowshiped. We were treated like we were tainted at a time we needed the most support.

[@michaelfrimpong4955]

I wish your channel existed 5 years ago when I was trying to make this decision. But I've benefited from your hardwork anyway this past year. Keep up the hardwork.

[@lastresort5015]

Michael Frimpong What assembly you going to? I’m heading to the international. I would love to meet people

[@michaelfrimpong4955]

@@lastresort5015 I'm no longer a witness. It was easier for me to jump ship cos my family weren't witnesses but depending on the date and location I could meet up. Which one are you going to?

[@lastresort5015]

Michael Frimpong Im heading to the toronto assembly.. by the rogers centre.

[@lastresort5015]

Michael Frimpong I’ll be there. Also, I’m still within the grasp of the faith. I don’t believe but my family does. I cant leave yet.

[@ForHireGeek]

@@lastresort5015 - I was disfellowshipped once then came back because I felt I needed my family and friends. But then finally left a few years after that. I am not going to tell you to leave because that is something you have to decide on your own. But just know it is hard at first but it does get better after time. I have been out for about 20 plus years. An there are some days where I actually think about going back just to get to spend time with my family even for a little bit.

[@SkySpiral8]

I was raised on extreme Catholic beliefs, complete with dress code, rituals, separation from "the world," fears of a worldwide "chastisement," abuse, and mental illness. One of the warning signs that I was on my way out was when I began to chain-read memoirs of people escaping cults and building a new life for themselves. Currently I'm looking forward to Megan Phelps - Roper's memoir release. I haven't yet found any channels or memoirs by ex-catholics from extreme sects, but watching yours makes me feel like that doesn't matter too much.

[@purpleladytoo23]

You did help people in the congregation Bro,by walking through the eldership learning all you did,leaving and then becoming a real spiritual helper to so many of us who struggled badly when we walked away..so ty so much for all you do..

[@captainboing]

Very interesting. Thanks for sharing. So pleased Deana stayed by your side and you both walked out of the darkness

[@kb.7143]

So so happy you “woke up!” Your story and your insight is so admirable. ❤️

[@humbles19]

Thanks for such an open and honest account. I love the way you chose your channels name too! You've helped so many people, myself included. Thank you and Keep up the great work!

[@luismarroquin8453]

You have no idea how much your videos have helped me, I just started watching them yesterday and find it absolutely fascinating, thank you so much. You work is greatly appreciated

[@1chadmon]

I am so grateful to have gotten to know your channel and your work. You have helped me so much and I admire you for your approach to activism and your honesty. When I read your book, I cried when I came to the part about the "Armageddon Drill". That absolutely broke my heart. I can just picture you as a child packing up your little bag and the fear you must have felt. You do amazing work and I am fortunate to be a subscriber and supporter of yours.

[@jbarnes9564]

Thank you Lloyd for sharing. I’ve been out for 30 years and it does have its hard parts with shunning but it does get easier. I have seen my father about 6 times in 30 years and I have 5 beautiful children that are not part of his life and that is his loss. These are damaged people to be pitied.

[@charlenewilkerson4174]

Loved the video. I woke up gradually as well. Going to foreign language congregation gave me time to think while not having to deal with constant indoctrination. Thank you so much for all your hard work.

[@sarahclare5745]

Thank you for your honesty and showing your vulnerability! You are a gift Lloyd Evans. I left 33 years ago. I was 18, pregnant and disassociate myself from the organization as I could not bare the humiliation of another judicial committee. I was in a violent relationship, 19 pregnant and alone. I had to build my life without a support network. Fortunately for me a lady across the road knocked on door one day and introduced herself as she had just had a baby, our babies were born 3 days apart. She became and still is one of my closest friends. I am blessed.

[@lewdutoit7630]

Thanks Lloyd! Always wondered what happened to you, to see the light. Great story and best wishes there...

[@SuLorito]

I just want to climb through the screen and give you a big hug.

[@LeonardoDaVinciLulz]

I totally understand where you're coming from. I also had doubts with the inconsistencies within faith that I was raised in (Catholic). Not only that, I also questioned the foundation of the Catholic Church, the corruption within it, and the secrecy, which is why I left that all behind. Thanks for the upload, and I wish the best, for you and your family, including your Father (I hope he comes around one day). Edit* I also wouldn't change a thing, because it's made me the person I am today (of which I am quite happy with). Without it, I wouldn't have the insight I have now, much like yourself. Thanks again.

[@lynngardner3330]

Your a NORMAL person with a smart brain and a great heart. Thank you so much for sharing and for the unwavering dedication in helping all of us see the light. Sorry you lived the joke. Happy your free.

[@celticfiddle7605]

That was a very nice comment. We love Lloyd!!! Bless you Lloyd and your family!! I still believe in God more than ever. I think he is kind and sweet and loves his creation.

[@jamesmcginn8874]

Watchtower is a Business--nothing to do with religion--its a CULT

[@dormantrabbits]

Your videos are an inspiration to me, even though I was never a JW. My wife and I were involved in a Jewish group that I would describe as very similar. Our daughter was the sticking point, too. When we started seeing the indoctrination, we got out!

[@booksandthings8297]

I really respect your honesty! Currently reading your book, I'm looking forward to learning more about your journey. I'm really happy that you could made you exit together with your wife!

[@TaylorJensen123]

This has helped me so much! I am in the process of writing a letter to my elders to disassociate myself from the Organization. Prayerfully I will be sending it off Sunday. Thank you so much for all of your help!

[@sammigirl237]

I've been disfellowshipped for 3 years now and still struggle every day with the fear of dying and my whole entire family shunning me. They recently sent my fiance a watchtower about how Armageddon is right around the corner. This channel is starting to help me but being programmed for so long to think I'll die in Armegedon...I feel like I've given up on life because what's the point if I'm just gonna die. Multiple suicide attempts and crippling anxiety and depression, you (along with my new medication and therapy) is definitely helping me. So thank u!

[@tatianahawaii13]

Please find a therapist who specializes in toxic shame and guilt. Use the PTSD tools (tapping, EMDR, memory reconsolidation) that are used to treat war veterans. Brain is plastic. You will get better ❤

[@pamelapowell4463]

Remember God loves you never abandon you, they did please do not try take your life any more we love you you are child of God that satan telling you you not good enough you are Iam telling you you more in God eye then you know. Learn how to deal with emotional pain talk Jesus he answer I promise you he never fall you! No more love thy self you are enough to God! Love ❤ I pray for you!

[@cynthiaejiogu8442]

You rock Lloyd! Can wait to see you on Leah’s special this week in the USA!

[@Bananachan289]

Cynthia Ejiogu omg what!!!!!

[@kirkcorlett6565]

Hi Lloyd: I watch this for the first time just today. Very interesting life story and how your life changes so much. We are in the middle of COVID-19 and I sincerely hope that many who are still in will go through the same revelation that you went through in just a few months After your move to Croatia. I’m sure the governing body is absolutely terrified that people will wake up being cut off from regular meetings. Thanks again for your great work.

[@twowitnessrule3753]

Smart new intro Lloyd. Excellent video as always.

[@ebonyspalace]

I lost my mom to cancer when I was 14 and I got baptized the day before the 1 year anniversary of her death. It's that resurrection hope that kept me in for as long as I was. Even after being disfellowshipped at 20 I still believed for a long time. I told myself that I wanted to be wherever my mom ended up after she died so I would follow her beliefs to make that happen. I pioneered and went to pioneer school, I had dreams of going to Bethel. Instead I had sex before marriage and married on a whim to fix that mistake after I was df'd. It was obviously a mistake and I ended up going through a divorce alone. No family, no friends I grew up with. Only my "worldly" friends to help me through. One of the lowest points in my life and one of the biggest reason I hate the shunning policy. Like you I have a 4 year old and now an almost 2 year old that my father has only met at funerals. I didn't intend this to be so long, only wanted to share that many of our stories are similar. Thank you for putting yourself out there and helping others.

[@alyssawoodman]

Thank you for sharing

[@scottw.williamson7154]

Thank you so much for your videos!! The video where you had the meeting with the elders to be disfellowshipped, Truly woke me up, and helped me leave once and for all. Keep up the good work brother.

[@irielion3748]

The world is a better place for Lloyd's testimony here. Thank you, Lloyd. I hope you are enjoying your time away from your channel. Be well.

[@greatdayn4651]

I respect your honesty and openness. Thank you for making this and all your videos.

[@BenchPresaPower]

Lloyd, There is no other way to say this mate, you have given in my opinion the best, honest, heartfelt and sincere summary of your life, you command an audience with your passion and need to expose the facts. I’m sure I speak on behalf of many people who for whatever reason can’t comment on your videos. I’d like to thank you for all of your help, hard work and pointers, I know it’s helped me with a number of different issues. All the best Lloyd. Your a legend mate.

[@celticfiddle7605]

YOU ARE A LEGEND LLOYD!!!!! What a great comment and so true!

[@BenchPresaPower]

spellbound111 The Legendary Cap wearing Captain Manchester marvel hero has a ring to it?? Lol, I’m not sure it’ll work for Lloyd though

[@andreadiamond7115]

Smart move doing this for the new subscribers Lloyd. I enjoyed hearing it again too. Have read both your books as well. Best wishes with the new addition to your lovely family.

[@peacelove7332]

Thank you Lloyd for telling your story, I hadn’t heard it before and found it resonate with me. Cheers mate p.s. peter took mine too

[@ModernLivingSince2003]

My friend I’ve been watching and listening you for a while and I never commented anything, but now I really had to. This is the best video you made as far as I am concerned cause it affects me a lot in many ways... I am still a witness at the moment even though I haven’t giving any field ministry reports the last 4 months due to some serious doubts I have. I was baptized in 1993 and after serving 7 years I was disfelloshipped for a reason, can’t argue that. But I spent the next 18 years condemning myself for living in a sin and I couldn’t try to reach for God or serve Him in any other way cause the only right way is by being a JW as I believed. I was reinstated (after 5 or 6) judicial committees last year in December just to be even more disappointed:(, my ex wife remarried for another brother after divorcing me and 4 months ago my (now 20 years old) daughter who stopped attending meetings around 5 years ago, admitted to me that her stepdad sexually molested her for years back, He was lucky not being at home cause I would be in jail now for killing him for sure! It was by the end of July and he’s still a brother (I don’t live in the same Country as they do) I spoke with elders there several times, I was in police and we pressed charges against him, court hearing started about 2 months ago. He denies everything, there’s no other eye witness, I moved her to another city far from them cause her mom took his side. Besides that I was shunned after being disfelloshipped and lived like that havin no contact with half of my family who are still witnesses, my parents didn’t took this rigid stand and allowed me to come to visit them eat with them sleep in their home, the result my father lost some privileges was advised etc...kids of my born brother also a witness grow up with me as their uncle until they became unbaptized publishers and I became a ‘bad association’ to them so the blocked me on FB and and just quit having any contact with me...there is a lot more but the comment is already too long

[@BiteYerBumHard]

Zoran- I am so sad to hear of your story. This is all terrible. I do hope you find peace and happiness which we all deserve but is sometimes hard to find. All the best. Stray strong!

[@ModernLivingSince2003]

BiteYerBumHard thank you, I can tell you one thing, this fight that I have inside myself is tearing me apart, it’s not easy to accept the fact that what I believed the last 26 years is a lie and that I was deceived....and I have among JW’s some really good friends and the congregation I belong is made of great honest hearted people that I’m already missing, I was thinking like Lloyd to be inactive for some time ‘till figure out what to do, don’t want to be disfellowshiped immediately, that’s why this video had such a great impact on me cause I’m experiencing now what he already did and I can understand him...

[@victoriabeal3596]

Zoran Lucky I’m very sorry to hear about your daughter. Thank you on behalf of all daughter’s for protecting her. The way many in the congregation, along with the elders, have handled this is a clear reflection of the deep seeded faults in this fundamentalist organization. I was born into it and it was incredibly hard leaving something I truly believed in all my life. I had doubts, questioned leaving and felt protective of the organization for YEARS. But now that I have some distance behind me and am seeing my nieces and nephew (who are still in it) basically replicate my younger years...well, let me just say “I’M PISSED.” Seeing their youth, their dreams be non-existent; their inability to co-habitat with “worldly” people, settling for crappy blue collar jobs so they can pioneer...it disgusts me. Give yourself some time and distance. I promise, once the brainwashing subsides, you’ll be able to look at them very clearly.

[@marie.naturallysims2179]

Sorry about what happened and I hope you and your daughter get justice for what that monster did to her and you will. Trust me, he will get what he deserves soon enough. My mum's a witness and she told me this person we were friends with criticised her about the way one of my friends were dressed on the ministry, funny thing is, this "sister" who criticised my mum, committed adultery and is no longer a witness. From this long comment alone, you seem genuine, pray to God as much as you can and he will help you, no matter what you believe in, trust me. Witness or not, religious or not, God looks at your heart at the end of the day and if your heart is pure, he will help you and your daughter. It will take some time though.

[@ModernLivingSince2003]

Victoria Beal All the things you just mentioned is exactly how I’m feeling right now, even though I can feel in my guts something is so wrong I’m still protective for something I believed for so long is “the truth”....I even tried to reason with some close witness friends but to reason ‘in between us” and I could see in their eyes they’re not actually listening me, but waiting me to finish so they can explain me I don’t see it in right way :/....I stopped trying, I’m waiting to see trough this trial for my daughter cause I’m feeling (I might be wrong cause I can’t read hearts) since she’s not a witness and accusing a witness, they don’t take her for serious and since I am (still at the moment) my words have some weight. But the moment this is all over I will come clean in front of them, I’ll try to explain to them my feelings and concerns about “our” teachings, I already started to write a letter..

[@owengameing6182]

Great video Lloyd. I was half expecting to see photos of the young Lloyd with a beard. Fancy that.

[@tiyom1]

Glad you shared your story Lloyd, look how much you've done 👏👏

[@lulukinyozibeauty5628]

You and Deanna are so beautiful!Im sorry about your mom.I know she was a pillar in your life. You are very honest. I had 8 brothers and they all had the same experience.It is a struggle. I am happy Deanna forgave you.Its good you two escaped.

[@tinyaboo]

Thanks for sharing Lloyd i think i need to get your book!😉

[@OscarHernandez-cl3lu]

Wow, thank you for sharing your story...I was pretty much forced by my mother to follow the religion, but once I was able to liberate myself I got freed...I don’t regret it.

[@craigreilly2603]

What an amazing story. I was so fortunate to get out at the age of 21 nearly 30 years ago, and my biggest joy is that my children never experienced the upbringing I had. Your story and videos are amazing. All the best Lloyd.

[@paulcoleman3081]

I feel extremely lucky not to have been indoctrinated into any religion. My parents were CofE, so had no religion at all really. We went to church for weddings and funerals and that's it. They sent me to Sunday School for a bit. For this reason, I find your story very enlightening, Lloyd. It seems almost incredible to me that phrases like "my Elders" become normalised in cults like JW, let alone the "two witness", child abuse stuff. The power that people can wield over each other in such circumstances is frightening because it's so unmeritted and insideous. So glad you got out so you can help others who are struggling with what amounts to brainwashing and also brighten my evening with your humour and good sense on The Atheist Experience from time to time.

[@alisonschmitt9533]

Always enjoy hearing your story, thank you!

[@BeatnikBoutique]

I loved this, Lloyd, even more so having just finished your book, which was a real page turner for me. I was in fact sorry to reach the end, a feeling I get when finishing truly splendid books. Loved seeing you also on the Atheist Experience. Cheers to you and your beautiful family.

[@cynthiatrimble4142]

You are a kind man. Your efforts to tell the truth about the organization has helped us heal and feel validated. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@Esther-1914]

Double duty at age 19 -- taking on Regular Pioneer service AND Ministerial Servant responsibilities :/ I'm glad you're free of WT and still have your lovely wife and child in your life.

[@DualShockTree]

Woah, at <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="620">10:20</a> I recoqnise that Manchester Evening News Arena sign! That's where I used to go for assemblies growing up!

[@BrittanyYoungxDuckie]

Never really read into JW until I watched The Witnesses last night. Absolutely fascinating in probably the worst way... So I came to KZbin to learn more and recognized your face! Thanks so much for posting this; very eager to learn more.

[@LloydEvans]

Welcome Brittany! Thanks for caring about this subject! :)

[@korolr]

So read Lloyd’s book, The Reluctant Apostate! I never had anything to do with JWs, but devoured the book in record time!

[@meyou5736]

@@LloydEvans Most people run from God because of their own heart, personal emotions and personal problems.

[@tamaradobson5146]

I was raised as a Witness. I had no idea that all of this information was out there. I was very happy to find you, even though I cried the ugly cry. You know the cry when your nose runs terribly? Thank you.

[@marie-clairedelongchamp1330]

I can’t help myself but to post yet another comment 😁 I have so much RESPECT for your’s & Dijana’s activism & my respect has only grown more so with every video you’ve posted. I have your book, will read very soon!! Thank you for your transparency, (unlike GB), please don’t ever give up. I look forward to every posting. After 33 years of lies & cover ups, it’s a breath of fresh air! 😊🇨🇦

[@DutchJoan]

Most comments already say so, and I too appreciate what you're doing. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences. And I'm so happy that your marriage survived. It's been great to watch some of your vids and the collab with Cosmic Skeptic. I've learnt a lot about JW's that I otherwise never would, and I respect them more even though I absolutely don't agree with the faith. They're mostly just people trying to do the right thing as I once was in my own faith. I'm on the "don't visit" list and Witnesses really don't call at my door anymore. I appreciate that.

[@merylbarnes2770]

You have helped me, my husband and mother to wake up. Thank you.

[@merylbarnes2770]

@Vida Pimo that was part of it. It was a long process of finding lots of information. My mother died a year ago fully awake from her indoctrination. We had 2 wonderful years of holidays and family before she passed on. We wouldn't have had that without people like Lloyd working so hard to help.

[@Imjustahuman78]

Just the thought of you being a little boy and being so scared cause you thought the world was ending broke my heart.💔

[@ladama3201]

I had nightmares about it most of my childhood. It’s horrible!

[@tashaneuhaus]

I grew up with the same fears 😂 now I don’t care - 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@GG-kv8vv]

Truth

[@ChipZilla69]

Some elders said to my mother how good i was in meetings because i didn't move or speak. I was actually trying to be dead.

[@GG-kv8vv]

Sad

[@alyssawoodman]

Oh my goodness...I hope you are okay

[@ChipZilla69]

@@alyssawoodman I'm living my best life now thanks 👍

[@alyssawoodman]

@@ChipZilla69 I am happy to hear that :D

[@GirlGeekLovesStampin]

Thank you for sharing this. I can only imagine all you have been through.

[@TheCharliet43]

I was disfellowshiped nearly a year ago after I was seen smoking. I started smoking after years of domestic abuse by my jw husband, and then finding out he was having an affair. I can see one of my older brothers best friends in your min school pics. Ali ford. Thank your for your videos is helped me know I have 100% made the right decision walking away with my children.

[@hektorlinko]

I was born into the jw and I left when I was 16 or 17 in high school and damn...it was horrible and torture mentally for me. Not only did I have to deal with bullies at school but I had to deal with bully elders at the congregation and damn...they were hardcore into sexual shit like masturbation and everything homosexualities and guys and girls. It's like the elders got off on hearing all that because it's like the biggest sin and most important priority was sex issues. Anything sex related that happened they were like sharks smelling blood miles aways and swam to the shore asap asking questions etc. I was the leader in masturbation A+ student in that dept, loved girls, chased girls loved metal, punk, horror movies, skated, bikes, video games etc. and everything fun and I was the bad teen witness and finally got sick of that shit and left. I'm now 48 years old in 2022 and still the same. Glad I found this channel. A+++ Love you Lloyed Evans and much respect and love to you and your family and channel! A++++ Thumbs UP! Subbed and hit that bell every single time! : )))

[@yvettem.1794]

I have to express my gratitude to you for coming forward and making this video. I was very candid and so relatable in so many ways. You're very brave for doing this. I applaude for that!! Thank you and God bless you and your family!!! 🤗

[@jarrod752]

_We want to keep our daughter away from the cult..._ I understand. My father tried to introduce Jehovah to my Step-Son... After a little back and forth, my step son pipes up with: _So he's like Thor then..._ My father's reply was _Well, man has been making up gods for a long time and..._ And I just _cut_ him off right there and said: _Remember that son, Man has been making up Gods for a _*_very_*_ long time..._ and I walked away. Introduce your children to _all_ the myths... it's like good antivirus for religion.

[@lolaispure4296]

OMG. So true. At the end of the day, they are ALL stories. With lots of occult and valuable things if course. But Jehovah is one of the same mythological figures. And cerybody thibks their God is the true one, the most powerful one.

[@russellbopstjr.5776]

@@lolaispure4296 yeah because it makes perfect sense that everything came from absolutely nothing. Now that's a good fairytale.

[@Keithbarber]

Jehovahs witnesses turn many people atheists and destroy beliefs in god

[@ms.anonymousinformer242]

@@Keithbarber No people CHOOSE to be atheist. I still know I have a creator. I did not CHOOSE to become atheist.

[@LDrosophila]

Good advice

[@sophiamartinez8352]

Thank you for sharing Lloyd👍🏻

[@mamabear8555]

Lloyd thank you so much for sharing! The guilt had me for nearly 10 yrs when I left with my two children! Totally went away when I watched the Australian Royal Commission! With all the HORRIBLE things that happened to me and my children we really left just in time ....wish It would have been sooner but it just couldn't be. The timing was just right. It happened when it was supposed to happen. My kids were at baptism age and that scared the s#!t out of me! I saved them from baptizing themselves to an organization. You sure were cute when you were little! Really enjoyed the pictures too!

[@debibrown9328]

Lloyd, oh how I wish you and your even tones were around when I was dealing with the aftermath of my life in the borg. You would have saved me a lot of heartache. So glad you are here to help all the ones leaving and dealing with the shock and hurt the Borg creates. Can't wait to see you with Leah tonight!! Keep up the great work you do and thank you to your good lady wife who let's you :)

[@TheRealTigerPlayz]

I was raised a JW and I liked being a JW until 7 months ago when my father passed away. So far its living hell for me, everyone (family and JW "friends") is pressuring me to be a JW more and more and more, and its stressing me out with everything else in life. I dont know how or when to leave in fear of losing my family Idk what to do, and I need help or advice...

[@Mr.L9]

Just stop going to the meeting and blocks all numbers from the church

[@richardbruning]

That was fabulous, Lloyd. So glad you shared your story in this way. A positive clarion call to those trapped in a cult like JWs. At some point I think it would be helpful if you’d do a vid on what it exactly means to be a Ministerial Servant or Elder, etc. Seems it was important for you to have achieved these levels, but why? Keep up the important work you do. (Never a JW but a student of human nature)

[@Heather_ONeal]

I’m so glad you were so open and honest about things you’ve done and been through in your life, it really brought a human element to your story and we all go through things in life or make mistakes that we’re less than proud of or at least I know I have, but it’s what we do about those moments in our life or mistakes we’ve made that truly define us, and what your doing about it is truly a remarkable thing, keep up the good work, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this

[@PhoebeMostafa]

Another lovely video, Lloyd. Thanks so much for sharing it. Really appreciate the work you're doing.

[@amaziing22]

😞 I thought she was my friend, everytime I ask her to do me a favoure she always tells me she has guests or she is going to visit a family member

[@lokivolt4464]

I had no idea about Jehovah's witnesses except the annoying visits with the watchtower handouts. I dont think the Leah Remini episode could have scratched the surface without you all telling your stories...thank you for being superheroes and having a voice and the courage to talk about your experience....i really couldn't find anything else on the Jehovah experience or life of but your vid so far....hopefully more people find a voice....

[@CS-np2oo]

Thank you Lloyd. Your videos and others experiences are always therapeutic. They are the things you can listen to and nod your head and know *EXACTLY* what you are conveying. Despite us all having our own experience...somehow being a former witness, every experience is our very own. An example...the brother who approached your wife and concluded you were hiding something. I went through that *VERY* situation.. A brother who was supposed to be my best friend in the truth. As my meeting attendance got more sporadic in my fade, he would constantly ask me if did bad. Specifically if I had committed a 'gross sin.' The more he asked that question the more I found it offensive. In actuality I was doing the opposite of what they thought. Working all day. Sleeping in on weekends and just staying at home as I had no friends outside of JW's. To insinuate the worst about me pushed me even further away for sure.

[@Wildchildgirly]

I really enjoyed this video. What stood out to me was what you said about not regretting a thing. I get the sense that you’ve found forgiveness for yourself. It inspires me to look at my decisions in a fresh way. I disassociated myself 12 years ago. About four years ago, my mom gave me a copy of Return To Jehovah and asked me to read it with an open mind. So I did. I realized I’d never deeply believed what the organization teaches. I told my mom. That was when the absolute shunning began. Prior to that, my parents would talk to me a few times a year and my mom had something of a relationship with my kids. Since then, I’ve seen them 3 times. I have regretted for years my decision to get baptized as a teenager. But that decision, along with my decision to disassociate myself, means my children have never been pressured to become JWs. I realized that watching this video. I am grateful for both the realization and the reality. Thank you for what you’re doing. It has changed my life in ways I didn’t expect.