MY WIFE AND I HAVE NOT HAD SEX SINCE WE GOT MARRIED, IT'S BEEN ONE YEAR | EP 37

Kally and Hodo are back with s3 of answering the internets craziest dilemmas!! What would you guys do? 🤔
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[@Queeenash]

“She was ovulating” 😂😂😂 I love you ladies 😂😂

[@oversharerspodcast]

😂😂😂

[@laurad1487]

Ovulating every day for a year? Did he marry a chicken??!

[@awajobe6750]

There are a myriad of things that could be wrong . You guys touched on something briefly earlier on in the video (FGM) , she also could have been sexually abused or she could be asexual. These are all possible factors that are not really talked about and there’s a lot of ignorance that surrounds them.

[@starlight099]

This is a huge issue in middle eastern countries because women never got proper sex education and have been led to believe that sex is shameful, disgusting and sinful. No one ever educated them that outside of marriage (zina) all that is true but in marriage it is a beautiful thing between two spouses and should be enjoyed. So they end up getting married, worrying about the wedding night, start having anxiety attacks and then they obviously end up having vaginismus. A lot of women need to first fix their mentality when it comes to sex. Only when you understand sex properly and accept that it is indeed a good thing within a marriage, can the woman start to relax. If a woman is tense and nervous it is very difficult to achieve penetration without pain. Also it doesn't help that many women are told horror stories about the wedding night, losing your virginity, etc. So maybe this woman just has some underlying negative beliefs about sex and that is what is undermining her marriage.

[@onlineonlineaccount2368]

@MunaUgas ..LOL zina ? If sex so bad how come many have so many kids in the Middle East ? Dont be fooled by all of this. The Middle east was known for the many harams and women being in plenty numbers as prosititues etc.

[@annegoesbacktoschool1556]

I have a medical condition that made sex EXTREMELY painful when I first attempted it. Basically the muscles in my pelvic floor were spasming. This condition is 100% treatable. It's called "vaginismus". If she does have pain with insertion, I would recommend she get a referral to a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor dysfunction.

[@hannahforeman9434]

I think the answer to this is pretty simple - she's not attracted to him. Being evasive in intimacy and the fact that she's talked dirty to him from a distance 5 hours away means that she likes him "As a person" and has more of fantasy of who he is in her mind but when confronted with him in person, that illusion is gone. He's probably somewhat cringy, clingy & incel-ly and off-putting. When he's saying things like 'I want love' it seems like she doesn't even hug him. SHE. DOESNT. WANT. HIM.

[@jessicaturner7834]

I love you guys!!! I just came across you channel and this has me rolling 😂😂😂 It’s so refreshing to see these conversations in the Muslim community. I’m not a Muslim and I don’t know anything about Muslims but listening to these rational conversations makes me less ignorant and weary of something I understand so little about. I was under the impression Muslim women weren’t even allowed to talk about these things.

[@oversharerspodcast]

Hey Jessica, so pleased you’re enjoying!! you are so kind. Thank you!! 💗💗💗

[@ghsaie]

I agree with Kally. This is a huge BLACK FLAG with fireworks. If she wanted him, she could have at least told him what the issue is and then they would have been taking steps to begin working on the issue. Therapy, doctors, trying new things. I mean he’s asked and she blames him. What do you mean? She would have even tried to compromise with him and offer him the little extras she could to satisfy him, BUT instead she runs away from him FOR MONTHS or WEEKS at a time. Imagine adding up all that time. Could be 6 months or more out of 12 she hasn’t even been around him. That’s a long distance relationship even for no reason at all. She doesn’t have even half an excuse as He does everything for her and she doesn’t do a thing. Not even cook or clean!! Absolutely no way. That part with the travelling for 5 hrs after being baited should have been the last straw for the husband. I would have cornered her right there or sat her down in front of her mum and explained the situation and made her talk right there. She doesn’t like him AT ALL. Either she spits out the issue or he should just divorce her straight away. He’s basically a live in maid and carer at this point. Even if she didn’t like him, why did she allow this to go on for so long. That poor guy. Probably spent thousands preparing for the wedding and the house and getting everything she asked for and he get nothing in return. ZEROOOOO. Sis needs to pack her bags. I also believe the parents know what’s going on because for your daughter to always be at your house instead of her husbands, they had to have asked questions. No parent would allow their married daughter to do such a thing if they didn’t have an idea of what was going on. Is there something this guy has, that they are trying to get from him. There’s way more to all of this and the parents should be held just as accountable for not talking to them both and trying to understand what’s going on between them.

[@oversharerspodcast]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@ayansaid788]

@@oversharerspodcast He needs to divorce her immediately because this is ridiculous and its haram to deny pleasure for no reason. She clearly isnt attracted to him. No conversation to be had bc she refuses to communicate why and shames him.

[@ayysenn]

She is probably not attracted. When she sees him she doesnt fancy him. When she is far away she had desires but not physically seeing him makes her forget she thinks he is unattractive and then fancies him.

[@Sussy153yt]

Nope that’s lie otherwise she wouldn’t have married, I’ve met girls like her, she just doesn’t know how to give or love, she’s from a conservative family that’s proper fcked it’s peak

[@m-5089]

He really needs to talk to her and she needs to open up and be honest with him. There are so many things that may be preventing her from being intimate with him. She could even be asexual and not know it.

[@86jonis]

She can have a medical condition that prevents her from having intercourse. Or other some sort of trauma. The wife is obliged to learn and work on this issue otherwise the marriage is doomed.

[@jackieestelle9382]

Even if they do end in divorce I really think they should have an open conversation and figure out what is/was wrong with the situation and the whys of it too! This just seems all kinds of wrong and I don’t know that I could do without any kind of affection from my spouse for a year. That is just odd and seems to be a deep revulsion

[@ZaraSalkida]

I think I am addicted to your channel 😩💕😂

[@roshnidsouza5179]

Coming from a family that is orthodox is not IRRELEVANT. I’m not defending her but when you grow up in a home when sex and pleasure is taboo by extension (in most cases) women never bother learning about their sexualities because they think they’re SINNING . The possibility that she has never discovered her own body and sexuality is very real .

[@B.entries]

Agreed. Because they have been taught sex is not good there is a negative emotion attached to it of sex being dirty. And she probably cannot disassociate from that feeling now.

[@13theblackbutterfly]

I think they need to go see a doctor, maybe the wife has something called vaginismus that's why she feels that it hurts to have sex, and it's reversible with therapy....or maybe she has some trauma in the past... 🤔

[@modernstylehomes7535]

Or if she went through FGM when she was younger. Coz it becomes difficult to have sex if you went through it.

[@picturesque1739]

One whole year is mad… seems like the marriage is not great especially that she doesn’t respect him.. respect is everything

[@fatmaelhadad]

If it was just that they did not consumate I would think about a possible trauma but here we're talking about no affection whatsoever, she's doesn't even want to be around : she doesn't seem to love him plain and simple

[@khadijahassan7130]

Love your dilemmas, I watch them after a few weeks 🥰🥰🥰

[@yagamilight351]

1 year without consummating... is the marriage even valid anymore?

[@mimializzi]

He could get it annulled easily

[@firdowsaalinoor8465]

Not the trench coat 😂😭🚨

[@Unichab001]

Maybe she is traumatized as a child or has vaginism. Or she doesn't want him at all .

[@alexandrab5904]

Maybe then she should have told him instead of using the poor man

[@ioo15yearsago57]

@@alexandrab5904 how is she using him?

[@kalengasipatela4579]

🤣🤣🤣just stumbled upon this channel. very hilarious. keep it up with the content. That aside, I can relate to this woman's struggle 😜but the answer is very simple. She is not at all attracted to him. The possibility might be that she loves someone else and has not given herself room to adjust to him emotionally and mentally. The mind of a women is just somehow difficult for as long she never longs for him her body would never respond to him and his advances. The best thing he can do is let her go peacefully so that they both find their own happiness.

[@zamanzuzasokhela8268]

I don’t see how the man is being blamed here he said he tries to speak to her about it and he already does everything for her basically and he does over an hour of four play. No the woman is horrible and she is wrong for this. How is he being blamed for not communicating when he said he tries and he she basically gaslights him

[@ameer.thelion]

If my wife can’t put down im gone for real. That marriage is missing a leg

[@shpresac1933]

Health issues have a huge implication on sex drive , even something as simple as vitamin deficiencies. I don't think divorce is the answer as we are only hearing us account of events. He may have been forceful or he maybe a control freak and likes to do all the cleaning etc. Communication has failed in that marriage. But all perspectives of this situation are relevant because it helps people in the situation or experiencing something similar to think of all the possible issues.

[@idontknowwhattosay4863]

I dont think she likes him either

[@AK-bk8rt]

If I was the husband, I would show her the 🚪!!!!

[@rax0x]

I think there could be some sort of trauma here. Communication is key and seeking professional help to tackle this.

[@ZaraSalkida]

I agree with Hodo 🤣LEAVE SubhannaALLAH 1 year He'll nooooo

[@Shehziii]

They need Lubricantion that is if she is agreeing to do the thing… if she’s not into it then no point doing anything

[@mowakazeem8979]

this sounds like a case of vaginismus. people need to educate themselves on this, both men and woman.

[@OrangeMilkBlossom]

Heyyy, Assallaamu alaykum! I love your videos! Do you guys let these Reddit users know that you've answered their questions/ give them the the link to your video?!

[@oversharerspodcast]

No they post from throwaway accounts

[@beardedking6575]

@@oversharerspodcast you should leave a comment under their question post that you've answered it and tried helping.

[@harujong-il6059]

10:37 sister, please refrain from saying “oh my gods” I wouldn’t want you to commit shirk.

[@distorbia20]

I have issue with her level of communication, respect and laziness. We need to hear her side because she is not having sex with him, barely pulling her weight at home and just running off to her parents. Someone just wanted a room mate. Seek medical help, open up to one another and find a common ground that works however this deal ain’t fair to the brother.

[@earthynomad7160]

The number of stories like that I have witnessed. Am a girl and I know. Some girls want the title of marriage and the financial benefits. It happens all the time. Not a case of arranged marriage. She should tell her parents. Abd this story will be fixed. Works every time or tell her am leaving but in that case she will go back to her old ways once she gets pregnant. And blame it on children. Just tell her parents and leave. This guy is being manipulated. I have witnessed this first hand loads of times. The girl just want the marriage but not the responsibility. Notice how she doesn't cook or clean. Trust me on this

[@suleimaan45]

run 🏃‍♂️ bro she doesn’t want to you

[@user-cz7vd7jt3h]

Damn bro

[@ioo15yearsago57]

or fgm? they should seek therapy or doctor

[@bintluqman000]

She should leave, periodtt!

[@mohammedhasan2980]

That King 🤴 deserve better smh 😭🤣

[@zamanzuzasokhela8268]

He needs to send her back to her parents and get another wife this is abuse

[@maayavolges1871]

My girl’s 🫶🏽

[@nahilaibrahim9181]

she is not into himmm

[@er0meyo827]

Just end it

[@salaam429]

She might have vaginismus. Maybe she has fear of penitration. Don’t understand why you Joke about it. 🙄

[@kaouthermes6690]

Well it's one of the following : she has some medical condition, she has some kind of trauma, she's gay, she has NO FELLING for him.

[@candysmooch3156]

since they have no solid advice or solution instead of giggling then should not do all kind of this video

[@ahmedjama4843]

These two are cool but come on.. this is not a real situation.. they being trolled or maybe he’s got a massive one and she freaks out every time she sees it.. maybe it’s so big when he gets it out he blocks the sun 😂😂 any women would be scared

[@sadiiqcaydruz7874]

🤣 FGM 🤣

[@aaliyaha2585]

It's great to highlight these issues within the Islamic community as this is hugely stigmatised but please be mindful of some of the laughter as there could be deep rooted issues from the female in question. Also, please educate yourselves on sexual matters, such as outer course, so you can respond to these messages from couples.

[@TheGolfCommunity1]

Why get married when you not ready

[@mimializzi]

Its obvious she doesnt want him ... if she wanted him she would have found a solution but shes still whining

[@jsjdjjsjdj4050]

اتمنى لكم السعادة والفرح الدائم أن شاء الله

[@safae_ltrch]

Maaybe she ain't virgin

[@-that-devil-Valerie-]

I thought Muslims can’t be gay but they can!?!?😱

[@hibaqsunny9335]

She not into him simple

[@showmequick2245]

Then why marry ? That is lame excuse tbh

[@ioo15yearsago57]

@@showmequick2245 forced marriage maybe?

[@earthynomad7160]

@@ioo15yearsago57 no. Many girls marry for convenience. Am a girl and I have loads of friends , family and coworkers doing that. Thst girl is full of lies ... she's abusing him financially and wants the title married only. Some girls even do sex once, get pregnant. Then nothing. Make them child as an excuse.

[@earthynomad7160]

@@ioo15yearsago57 he should tell her parents or his. The story will change 180

[@karensmith1521]

He should divorce her omh

[@vladlenasebastiao6169]

Omg she could be asexual!

[@MalofoMDonzo]

She’s being very wicked 😢

[@sadhanamoodley99]

It sounds like she could be asexual, or it is a medical condition. Or she could have had a history of sexual abuse in the past. It seems like the husband is more concerned about his own sexual pleasure and his needs, and completely ignoring her sexual pleasure and desire.

[@zoe-mv6ji]

Then you communicate. I am a woman but clearly the husband isn’t being selfish it’s been a year of him being patient and he’s doing his role as the husband but she’s not doing her role as the wife. Also in Islam the wife isn’t suppose to deny her husband his physical needs

[@hajira5013]

Same titular for naznin but hers is from wedding night and over a year,he her so called husband wanted a baby straight away to cover up his erectile dysfunction this is a true story not made up.

[@sunny_6664]

Maybe she is Agender or lesbian 🤔 you don't know that

[@sadhanamoodley99]

He also sounds very entitled. He sounds like he feels like he's entitled to sex just because they are married and that he is financially providing for her.

[@applesaucy0925]

He is, islamically

[@sharika786sb]

Get married again

[@WARxxECONOMY]

BAD WIFE

[@ZaraSalkida]

🤣🤣

[@yasminamoaouine2383]

Or maybe she is not into males 🤷‍♀️ who knows!

[@Hanieoe]

But they’re MARRIED 😭

[@firdowsaalinoor8465]

😂

[@FB-cl1wr]

She must have a side guy that's why she goes away for months or weeks to her mums place. She could have already had a boyfriend before she married this guy and still messing with him.

[@SetASpark]

I don't think it's an attraction issue because they have outercourse lol...How is she doing that for an hour with someone she doesn’t like? Maybe she's in pain or isn't comfortable with the actual thing.

[@mimializzi]

He does the foreplay mostly, she finishes him in 2 mins and doesn't do oral So she doesn't want him

[@saarvisser7163]

You know I really love you guys and what ur doing, but please imagine she s watching to hear you guys say: “ I would divorce her, I wouldn’t stay, how can you marry such a person, she s lazy” you don’t have the right to say that, you don’t know her, so please just watch what ur saying l, Cz you might hurt people’s feelings🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[@user-lf7cz5rj5j]

Marriage and sex are never the objective of life for Muslims. Loving Allah is what matters. Loving God, loving humanity is what matters. Some people marry and then get heart broken. Many people stay single and are in love with their Creator. Allah is their everlasting friend. Even if someone finds marriage to be necessary, he or she should not convince everyone to marry just because we think it is right. Mariam the daughter of Imran was single. Asiya has the worst husband in the world which was close to not having a husband. Yet Allah loved them the most. Indulgence in any sort of excessive pleasures is counterproductive for human beings. Believers were not sent to this world for enjoying luxuries. We were created to worship and obey Allah and His Messenger. Our Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) lived by this principle, and even though he could have become very wealthy by doing a lot of business, he chose to remain in poverty until his death. Due to our own indulgence, and following the practice of the non-Muslims and getting obsessed with sexual activities, there are thousands of Saudi Arabian youths, Kuwait youngsters, Qatari men and women, elderly entrepreneurs from Oman and Bahrain, and even scientists from Indonesia and Malaysia, Africa and India, are now being most severely tortured in CIA’s Bush-era interrogation programs, that are until today, operating in secrecy in many European countries. People are leaving Islam in hordes because they are disgusted by our obsession with sex.