My Wife Discovered I Kept Old Sexy Photos Of Her, Now She Wants Me To Delete Them r/Relationships

[@cobberhambone9484]

Hearing “met online” and “sending spicy selfies” next to “fifteen years ago” just made my back hurt a little bit.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

My husband and I have a similar timeline and my back does hurt 😂😂

[@jessicapalmer3455]

Same. We're getting old!! 😭😭💙💙

[@wildridegaming]

did you think that meeting online and sending spicy pics was limited to Gen Z or something?

[@aduckofsomesort]

@@wildridegaming I think you don’t get it

[@0HellcatMary0]

Giving you the benefit of the doubt that the joke flew over. The joke is that many of us are coming to grips with not being the young generation, and transitioning into the place of being "the olds" for gen z and alpha. In our heads we still think of concepts like online dating and texting photos as relative invents of the modern age, and then we're confronted with the reality that our modern, prime era of new technologies is an easy decade and a half behind us. They're just joking about having one of those surreal "holy shit I'm old" moments. ​@@wildridegaming

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 2: Insane to me that a RSO has an easier time staying out of jail than a working immigrant has staying in the country.

[@lavarelease2928]

Well, the problem is they can only do so much when the guy didn't actively commit the crime, just had the intent to. I was hoping they would have found some damning "imagery" on his computer so he could've gone to prison

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 2: With what OPs FIL said he 100% knew his son was a kiddie diddler. Her in-laws are insane!

[@thatjeff7550]

Not insane but entitled. They probably have a lot of cash and thus think the rules don't apply to their kind.

[@RayvenLunaNite]

Story 2: for the husband to have been caught in A STING, means he was flagged by the police already for suspicious online actvity. Huge red flag missed there. Only criminals get caught in stings..

[@alyzu4755]

Story 2: My heart goes out to OP. Her FIL is a piece of work, isnt he? Makes you wonder if he's done what his son has done.

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 2: How the hell did that creep of a husband waive jail time??????

[@Ashbrash1998]

Probably a plea deal

[@Wander85942]

It’s what I saw in to catch a predator. They were lenient for first timers, judges would justify there was no actual child involved. It was the people already registered or 3 strikes who faced the harshest sentencing.

[@Yume10605]

Since no actual child was involved he was given a plea deal

[@dorianleakey]

I wonder why he was targeted, here in the UK it tends to be online vigilantes who cause people to get caught when they haven't actually succeeded at anything.

[@Yume10605]

@@dorianleakey in the US the cops do sting operation ever so often.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: ADULTS!!! Look at these adults doing the adulting thing and communicating like adults!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@blissy7660]

This! I honestly didn’t think either of them were AHs in this situation and super happy they were able to work this out in the end

[@SabrinaSokoll]

Right! Speaking of adults doing adults things, I gave you your 69th like. Ok I will show myself out now.

[@dest5218]

​@@SabrinaSokollhehehe 😂

[@marshawargo7238]

OP, tell her that when she is 60 or 80 she will appreciate these pics! I am 68 & HAD sexy pics from a Polaroid (actual camera that developed pics in 1 to 2 minutes) that were not totally nude but, I wouldn't ever show to my kids! Had because, we got into a big fight & broke up for a bit but got back together, while broke up, I burned them in a rage! I'm sorry now that I'll never look like that again & nobody seeing them would guess that they were pics of me! But I could look at them & remember the time & feelings & other things going on that I now don't even recall😢!!! He might have been mad, he never said & they were never mentioned again. He died at 45 so they never will be mentioned again except here. OP tell her that no one will ever see them except you two & she will most likely appreciate having them at some point in her future❤!!!

[@jjr9792]

Final Story - Thank God for people like Op. She's willing to risk herself to protect her friends' and neighbours' children, since the legal system is not.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Story 2: Some advice for anyone wondering, as my husband is an immigrant to the US. It took us about 3 years to get his 10 year green card, and instead of renewing it he decided to go for citizenship - absolutely the best decision!! It only took about 3 months. I don't know if that's everyone's experience, but I think because he'd already gone through all the proof to get his green card, it wasn't nearly as arduous a process to become a citizen.

[@Sifya]

I was thinking the same if became a citizen was option

[@gmun2248]

My parents did this, but it took WAY longer for their citizenship application to be processed. 3 months with anything USCIS is supersonic speed!! Edit: I think you have to have a greencard for 5 years before you can apply for citizenship, but as far as I know, I think any greencard holder can apply for citizenship after a specific time. It doesn't tie you the way a visa can be tying.

[@Tammohawk1]

He's done it before, this is just the first time he got caught. Now he's going to be on the "list", Megan's Law. It's sad that OP is in such a precarious position.

[@wessexdruid7598]

And his father has helped cover it up.

[@pickle_pup8187]

OP needs to divorce him and go back to her maiden name. OP will not EVER want to have any children. She needs to find a good family lawyer and immigration one too. The faster she can get away from him and his family the better. I know marriage vows are for better or worse but this is the exception to those vows.

[@kizzykat9120]

Story 2: That guy's parents are in serious denial. (Like OP, I do wonder what he actually told his parents though.)

[@fiyahquacker2835]

I don't think they're in denial since it seems like they just don't care about what he did.

[@baraka629]

Sex offender when sex defender turns up: 💀

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

It makes me wonder if his father has done something similar and just never got caught.

[@wessexdruid7598]

@@hodgeelmwood8677 It makes me wonder if husband has a history his parents know about and have covered up. They're too relaxed about the knowledge - it's not new to them.

[@notacatnt]

@@hodgeelmwood8677 Based on my own experience with a monster like this, that's probably the case. He was told his uncle did it all the time, had never been caught, but it was normal and he was just super unlucky. I can understand having loyalty to your family, but the mental gymnastics to defend it to this extent? There's more going on there.

[@joycetaepke2533]

My daughter is a photographer and often does boudoir shoots. A lot of older women take these pictures for their significant others or just for themselves. They say that it is one of the best things I’ve ever done for themselves and they feel very sexy, despite bulges, wrinkles, and gray hair.

[@suitov]

And they're right. An older woman who has come through life and become secure in her own skin is very sexy indeed. Good on these old girls!

[@colleens1107]

Story one: with the exception of dealing with abusive toxic people, there is really very few problems that can’t be solved with good ol communication. This was such a sweet, wholesome story of a couple who are definitely relationship goals. Thanks Mark for posting this

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 2: I had to look up what a tier 3 sex offender status is and it said: *Tier 3 requires registration as a sex offender for life. If you are convicted of a Tier 3 crime, you are not eligible to petition the court for removal from the sex offender registry. Tier 3 encompasses allegedly more serious sex offenses.* I don’t want to add what would have had to happen for those offenses to be "more serious," as they’re heinous already and require a massive TW for readers, but use your imagination and make it worse. 🤮 I’d truly want to understand how he was waived jail/prison time for his crimes. I don’t see how it’s possible if he was truly convicted

[@TsukiKageTora]

It can get as bad as you can imagine. My friend’s uncle is in federal prison for 30 years for the worse you could imagine. Sadly, with a baby. OP’s actions must be less severe than his if he only got a full time permanent RSO.

[@paden1865able]

Plea deals, such as providing names and locations of other people involved in the same offenses, if not worse. Rolling over on other predators can buy leniency, sadly. Yeah, it's great to get them out of society, but not providing information about them to to the public enables them to do it again.

[@RiverWoods111]

Also, if he has filed an appeal it might be postponing it? This whole thing is just crazy that he is not in jail. The only other thought I have is that he was caught in a sting operation, and therefore didn't actually get caught in any actual acts and it is his first time getting caught. Not a good enough reason to not get jail time but that is all I can come up with.

[@eileenhatton5240]

@TsukiKageTora Omg I'm going to be sick

[@Vipre-]

@@TsukiKageTora As mentioned his actions were falling for a sting operation meaning there was no actual victim just the intent of one via a catfishing police officer. That might've affected the sentence.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2 (before update): Get yourself two lawyers, one a divorce lawyer, and the other an immigration lawyer. The immigration lawyer to deal with trying to stay in you new home country, and the divorce lawyer to get away from you pedo husband. There are many paths to becoming a citizen, marriage is only one. I hope you are working and have a good job, that you can be declared necessary by your work place, it will make things so much easier for you.

[@Arylwren1]

Honestly, the fact that the state hides when theirs a pedo in the neighborhood is one more reason why CA is a craphole.

[@melissahaire7058]

I've been married for 23 years and together for over 25, and of course, I don't look like I used to. I was maybe 120 pounds when my husband and I married and gained weight with my pregnancy and a little more weight gain with a lifelong illness! My husband loves me just the way I am!! I love our old photos! Our daughter loves our old photos! We would never get rid of those!! I'm very happy that OP and his wife could talk about the photos and express their emotions with each other!! They'll be just fine!! ❤

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I was a beanpole as a teenager from a disease that affects my metabolism. I was put on a semi-strict diet where I consume about 8,000 calories a day but my doctor also recommended I exercise lifting weights and doing cardio. I spent my entire 20s honing my body and today at 35, I think I look the best I ever have. I have my body weight up to a healthy 265 lbs (down from 285 lbs) but I still struggle keeping my body fat above 7%. When I go below 6% body fat my organs want to slow and start shutting down. It's a far cry from those teenage and early 20s days of being 6'7" and 160 lbs with my bones sticking out at all of my joints. The knees, hips, and shoulder joints were the worst LOL. Given that, I still would never want ANY of my pics to be deleted. But then again, I have never sent nor even taken a "spicey" pic in my life. I have only done one video and that was to prove to my wife what I was saying about how her body reacts and how loud she is during our "intimate" times. She didn't believe me and says after a point, everything gets "foggy" lol. I think she is full of it, but maybe that is just me lol. For some reason, she won't let me delete that video but I made her take it off of her phone just in case she gets the bright idea of sharing it with her sisters and friends. I really don't want my "junk" hanging out there for others to see LOL.

[@jadetrentrichards255]

Regardless of if he loves you, physical well-being is the most loving thing you can for yourself.

[@GalliaUchiha]

To be fair, you don't show your old sexy naughty time photos to your kid

[@julierichardson800]

My husband was in a touring band before we met. He had a girlfriend that is in 50% of those photos. I could never ask him to get rid of them.

[@ashassassin]

Story 1 is how these should go. They talked and worked it out. Its so nice to see a relationship that functions. So many of these turn out awfully, alwaya grateful for a wholesome one.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Agree. I know Reddit tends to use divorce to fix problems, but this situation isn't one of them. This turned out well in my opinion. 😊

[@shebakoby]

wew, lad, that second story. Now we know why the STBX Hubby is the way he is. He's never faced consequences in his life. His Rich Daddy has made him the Golden Child, bailed him out of every problem, and insists his precious boy can do no wrong. What a sociopath.

[@loganjoh1]

Story 2: what a POS that guy is I see where he got it from with his parents words and actions. How they can even look at that waste of life they created is beyond me. Here’s to OP getting out of that situation as fast as possible.

[@jakemarie828]

Thank you for being a kind and positive presence on the internet Mark. We appreciate you a lot! 💗

[@jrod1591]

Most disturbing part about story 2 is that you don’t have to notify your neighbors when you are sex offender in CA. What is going on there?

[@PinkMarshmallows]

That's because in Commieforia, they value criminals more than innocent people.

[@maurer3d]

The state (CA) runs a website that you can type in your address and be informed of all the registered offenders near you.

[@vortechx7176]

what isn't going on in CA

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Part of my credit monitoring plan (Experian) does include data about sex offenders within x miles of my home, so it is getting there. Maybe that he doesn't have to reveal it himself?

[@jimmygarza8896]

Isn't it obvious? CA is where Harvey Weinstein lived, as well as a bunch of other predators. So, the rich and powerful of CA corrupted the state government and made it easier to keep doing what they do. Iirc, California also had a bill that would decriminalize intentionally withholding HIV status. Can't remember if it passed or not, but you get the picture.

[@dopaminedrought395]

OP clearly loves his wife, but I see her point. He could say something like "The pictures are warm affectionate memories for me, not "sexy" material. Of course I find you sexy in them, because I find you sexy always! The body you have now wears proof of our decades long love, and I would never trade it for a younger version. I love you and find you incredibly attractive the way you are now." EDIT: Listened to the update and I'm so happy OP told her something similar and that they worked it out

[@theresaschuebel5151]

I agree so very much with what you said

[@BoatsBigDay]

@@KiloPage777gross take, receive help

[@BrittanySue90]

​@KiloPage777 or maybe there's this crazy thing where women have been and still are regularly abandoned by men for younger women with younger bodies, so then it becomes a recurring fear. And we're totally not regularly reminded that our youthful beauty is the most valuable part of us, and definitely we aren't expected to spend significant amounts of our income and mental energy trying to find ways to look and stay younger. I haven't even watched this yet and have enough sense to know that there's a chance the same thing has happened to her before, or it's what happened to her mother, or friends, and she saw how fucking awful it was. It's astounding how willing you are to admit how much actually dislike women so loudly in public though

[@BoatsBigDay]

@@KiloPage777 “why can’t she just think the right thing” most emotionally intelligent sentence written by a mature human being with real human emotions and real human empathy ever

[@Yakerina]

@@KiloPage777 I recommend the channel Jimmy on Relationships.

[@JoJoGranum]

Story 2 : I’m feeling for OP feeling like she’s tied to this creep. She is in a horrible situation and blaming her for her husband’s despicable actions is wrong. I hope OP gets out clean and forges a new life for herself.

[@ladyv5655]

What is just as bad as being an RSO is the fact that he lied about everything and then threatens her with her legal status in the country. I hope she can get away from him.

[@Nortarachanges]

@@ladyv5655, it’s a theme. He likes having power over someone who doesn’t know how or physically can’t say no to him. He needs professional help, not a trapped wife

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 1 OP not having a dramatic life is a nice comparison to more dramatic lives. That OP is what we wish all marriages can be.

[@tothewonder6248]

Story 1 I'm so glad it worked out. I believe OP when he says he still loves her, so I hope the wife works on herself and gets to a point where she loves herself again too.

[@CareyBilley]

Every situation and every story allows us the listeners an opportunity to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes by doing this we all grow as individuals and become a part of a much larger community. Every success and every failure helps us grow a deeper empathy for ourselves and others, none of us have a perfect life and that’s a good thing because how boring would life be if we didn’t occasionally fall down and pick ourselves up and try again and succeed. Life isn’t about the destination, it’s about the journey and the lessons we learn along the way.

[@LadyWolvie82]

S2 is far from over due to OP's situation. I'll be praying for her.

[@mikef2811]

Been with my wife for 30 years now. We still have pictures of us when we were in High School and College years...When we have guests, they think these pictures are either our son and his GF, or our daughter with her BF. We laugh and say those pictures are actually us when we were young and dating. Won't lie, my wife is beautiful in those pictures. My wife does not like them to be up, but I enjoy them.

[@thecrowuknow]

Story 1 - My spouse and I were actually just talking yesterday about how we've been together for almost 20 years and both of us still look pretty much the same except he has some grey in his hair now. Thank healthy eating habits and being homebodies who don't spend a lot of time in the sun.

[@tatertot1946]

SA husband: To the wife: YOUR HUSBAND WILL NOT CHANGE. That, unfortunately, is who he is. I know it's difficult, but honestly you need to leave him. Let lawyer help you with finding a way to stay on your own and without him. I would think that a good lawyer can get it sorted for you. Good luck!

[@thatjeff7550]

I'm of the "keep all photos" camp because there will come a day when you won't be able to get any more photos and will regret not taking more photos. Being a widower sucks.

[@wildridegaming]

Story 2: You cant have children with him, he is a RSO with minors, if you were to get pregnant CPS will(should) be all up in your business prompting you to separate from him or give up the baby. He will not be allowed unsupervised visits. Im in the UK and my brother in law is an SAO for the same thing, he then got a woman (24yr old, he was 40) pregnant who at the time refused to leave him, so our version of CPS got involved and wouldnt let them leave the hospital with the baby. We only know about all this because we were approached to be guardians for their daughter, fell through after a couple of months because they(him and gf) would constantly harass us to let them see her, even though legally we were not allowed to, it was deemed unsafe.

[@Kinsfire]

Last story - Daddy knows full well what his son is, and probably taught him. Daddy's actions are "We'll look even worse in the community if the divorce comes out, so we have to terrify her until we can get rid of her."

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Story 1: Sometimes I just like the small happy stories of people living their lives and trying to navigate relationships. It's relatable and also a good break from the horrible scenarios.

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 2: WTF????

[@DarkDesertRose]

I'm glad it worked out for them, but hearing people talking about nudes like they're vacation or family reunion pics is wild 😂

[@kolonarulez5222]

Story 1: I'd have been relieved/flattered that it's not some OF model or my sister or cousin he's keeping pics of. If only she knew how easy she got off

[@ChangedWinds]

Story 2: so in California you don't have to disclose the fact that you have a STI when two consenting adults are having relations AND you can live your life as a convicted child RSO with parents living near this monster who're not allowed to be told that they live near said monster???

[@GiordanDiodato]

it's the same in a lot of states.

[@TopazFire15]

California is a little… shall we say, laissez faire with their laws? Which is to say, absolutely batshit. Can’t forget about the insane squatter’s rights laws that California has, too.

[@amandab8433]

Yes and no. California does not tell you, but you can search on the Megan's Law website. California also does not have Romeo and Juliette laws so relations with anyone under 18 is against the law. Even if it is a 18 year old with a 17-17.5 year old. The older person would then have to register as a SA if convicted. In some states then the 18 year old would have to notify the neighbors whenever they move to a new place. I'm a SA survivor, and have been an advocate for victims for over 25 years.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

​@@TopazFire15kinda feels the same with Utah and it's lack of laws which allow MLM's to thrive and screw over people.

[@robertx8020]

@@amandab8433 Yes in those cases the law is insane ...

[@sam_humanvariant]

Time to decompress before DMing a session of DnD! Thanks!

[@Nettles007]

Ooo I have dnd tomorrow. Hope u have fun

[@liabowden8526]

Have a great session!!🎉

[@catandrobbyflores]

Ooh, what's the party make-up and what kind of game are you running?

[@davidransom4476]

Story 2: OP needs to not just go to an immigration lawyer, but to an immigrant organization that helps people. They usually have lawyers connected to or part of them, and she might get one at much reduced cost or even free. She needs to lay everything out to the attorney, and to Immigration, concerning what is happening with him and family. It almost sounds like she's being held captive. Get to the immigrant organization NOW. If anything happens that's a criminal act, immediately seek a victim visa if the green card is endangered.

[@l.g.2888]

I also thought of that Schitt's Creek quote! And it's so true. Treasure the body you have at every stage, but don't compare now you to past you to put yourself down. Now you has survived more, experienced more. That's a different kind of beauty.

[@ventruzona]

5:03 I agree with the comment about looking at old photos and liking them. I found a photo from when I was 19 years old, at the time I would have thought the photo was hideous, today I look at it and think "I was so cute". 😂

[@SunBeeSmoked]

If the second conversation had ended with the wife still wanting op to delete the pictures THEN i think he'd be TA if he didn't because at the end of the day its pictures of her and her consent can be revoked for them. But im glad they were able to compromise and they addressed some of the issues that lead to her feeling the way she does.

[@KSangel180]

The last one makes want to listen to, "Dana dan," by Bloodywood. One of the best songs that's vehemently against men like her husband. I was SA'd as a kid and the song brings me a lot of comfort.

[@cynthiaholland13]

I haven't listened yet. But been with my husband for 27 years. I know he has old photos somewhere. Pre babies, and at our college prime. I don't mind that he has them. Great memories! He is still crazy about me and looks at me like he's amazed by my beauty. Now if he acted like I was unattractive now and those pics were sexy, I'd be upset. But that's not the case

[@JMac7395]

STORY 2: The family supporting & protecting the husband is not surprising. Unfortunately, there are many relatives who are aware & protect the child predators in their family. While dismissing or shaming the victim. What's odd is the attitude shown towards OP by the PILs. The PIL are either upset that OP isn't showing any support for the husband or they never liked OP & is using this situation to show how they truly feel

[@chantelinsertnamehere4513]

Some these comments are so unsympathetic for story 1, clearly ops wife is having a few body image issues and that so common especially after giving birth, give her some grace jeez

[@caiargagnon]

Story 1: he is literally keeping spicy slefies like i keep movie stubs or receipts from dates. She somehow thinks him looking at them means he misses her old body i guess😅

[@Vipre-]

Or exactly the way some women keep old letters.

[@caiargagnon]

@@Vipre- for sure. But who writes letters anymore🤣🤣 I have a few from my best friend when I moved around due to my dad being in the family

[@singingwordwright148]

Story 1: SO WHOLESOME! I love it.

[@LunaSee05]

In the second story, I have worked in the Bay Area in CA and there are non-profit organizations that are set up to help women in her situation. I wish I knew where she lived in CA to direct her. If she lived in a major city, she should be able to find one. And her FXIL are garbage and I would look side eyed at them...ESPECIALLY her soon-to-be ex father-in-law!

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: This is a weird one. Glad they resolved this with communication! S2: Divorce.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

5:10 this is exactly how I feel! Take _ALL_ the photos while you’re young and even when you feel not as young. NAH

[@pirateadam3686]

Story 1: I'm calling shenanigans on this one, as I feel anyone who's been married for that long should have heard a question like "Do you think X is attractive?" and immediately jumped into Admiral Akbar's It's A Trap territory 😅

[@mgaus]

You "feel?" I'm calling shenanigans

[@paulinegallagher302]

Hello Mark. I have been enjoying listening to you for a long time. I have a story I think you may enjoy during your off time reading. It's title is I have no mouth and I must scream by Harlan Ellison.

[@rewatteefroimchuk8589]

Such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.

[@antares8476]

To the first story: My grandma passed away a few years ago. And we the grandkids managed to find a photoalbum where she went to a beach when she was young. I think it was a graduation gift to herself and the other girls in her class from uni. And on the picture she was wearing a bikini. Our jaw dropped below the cellar. Like our chatholic grandma who covered herself up at least to her knee and shoulders. Never a V neck. And here she was in the early 70s in a bikini. Our great-gran suddenly had her daughter's grandkids in her room demanding an explanation. She was laughing so hard on our reaction for the very first time after losing her daughter. So these pics are treasure. They are not the sexy types like op's wife's but still. And she hid that album while she lived. I guess she was embarrassed about wearing a bikini. S2: Who the ever loving hell does he think he is for forbiding to notify the neighbours? And if someone looks the adress up and spreads the gossip? Like hell I'd do and "accidently" ask them to look it up themselves because I have been forbidden to do it guess by who. This pissed me off royally.

[@GiordanDiodato]

S2: sadly that's not a law.

[@EnDB]

😂😂😂I guess that means she's deleting and getting rid of all wedding pics, too, right?? Bet not.

[@theresaschuebel5151]

As a teenager I always thought that I was fat, big, or just plan ugly. It wasn't until my guy friends from my childhood told me that they always thought that I had a great looking body but to them I was just one of the guys. That I was never fat to them, hell about 10 of them always discribed me as having an Marylin Monroe look. Being comparied to her is the best feelings boost that I could ever have gotten. I'm 70 pounds bigger then I was and feel disgusting about myself this information had been so up lifting to me

[@Fingerscrossedout]

Story 1.. the way how this was easily fixed is insane.. like dude?! Well he exactly said in the second post what he should've said😂 good it ended good with good communication

[@invisigoth510]

Story 2: I’m sorry. I’m divorced yesterday & returning to my home country

[@jake8748]

I think it could depend on countries involved. If she's from a really poor 3rd world country with less good conditions and culture towards women, or a more progressive western country, I could see the internal struggle and wanting to find another solution.

[@invisigoth510]

@@jake8748your right. I didn’t think about that. I hope she can work things out for herself because I don’t think she’s safe if she remains with him

[@jake8748]

@@invisigoth510 yeah I've known some people who came to my country (Australia) as immigrant partners and from what I can gather in atleast one case, being subject to domestic abuse here was still safer and better than her home country. This story gave me similar vibes, and people from rough countries with poor treatment of people often ignore bad treatment in what should be better countries as it isn't as bad as what's normal where they are. I don't think it's any coincidence that this man had both an immigrant wife which seems like from a country that doesn't necessarily have easier migrant pathways to where I'm assuming is the USA, and is now trying to predate on minors.

[@catalinaaddams8581]

Nope the 1,000s of sexy pics nope nope nope wouldn’t work for me. Every picture I see of myself I hate and I look back at me even as a kid and I’m like wow what an ugly kid 😂 so yeah I’d hate the pics now and I’d hate them later too

[@ruansteenkamp4289]

Story 1: Got to say, I loved this one, it’s a break from the usual doom and gloom on the internet

[@LadyDiva2545]

Did like 10 people get 1st,lol!!!!🎉 Love you Mark!!!

[@Khanjikai]

It shows what my life and hobbies are that Mark read RSO and my mind immediately thought "Range Safety Officer" from the shooting club...

[@cpaul9269]

S1 - NTA for keeping them - UNTIL she asked to delete them. A gentleman would do so. Period.

[@RiverWoods111]

My ex destroyed most of my pictures and most of my kid's childhood photos during our divorce. Never ask someone to delete photo memories, and definitely don't delete photos/memories to spite them.

[@riffwizardsupreme]

my weed addled brain interpreted the title of s2 as k"my husband is a rick simpson oil"

[@Zaddy-Lu]

Why wouldn't you save spicy selfies your now spouse sent you?

[@livingnightmare969]

I would encourage OP's wife to look into boudoir photography.

[@tiffanysandmeier4753]

My aunt has issues with pictures. She trashes all pictures of herself from when she was a child. My mom had some of her from my grandma's house. My mom gave them to my cousin (her son) rather than my aunt.

[@paganskye452]

Story1: i've always had body image issues. Still do. Been body shamed from a young age.

[@IrisAsuras]

Wife is jealous of her past self...weird. But she feels how she feels.

[@LidiaGatarek]

2nd story wtf? Poor wife, hopefully she will leave him.

[@GrifoStelle]

The pic story A life time ago before widdowhood set in, a wilder version of myself made spicy spicy pictures and videos with my late hubby, then boyfriend/fiancé. I remember a 19 year old grifo giggling into a camera, saying "This is for when you're a 60 year old grandpappy. No p*rn for you. Only memories!" Before continuing how I thought best. If I had ever imagined that he would have died so young I would have followed his everystep with a camera. I don't look at the spicy pictures anymore but I do whip out the sfw pictures to talk to the kid about a youth of adventure every chance I get.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 1: She should be happy he's keeping old sexy photos of her, instead of new sexy photos of some other woman. I mean, did she really want him to say, "No, I don't find you sexy in those pictures?" Like that would have ended well??? Wasn't that the whole point of her taking and sending them in the first place? So he would find her sexy? And I bet if he did delete them, one day, one or both of them would regret it. I don't even think asking her to take new sexy photos is the answer, because if it was then she would have suggested it already. I think the issue is she DOESN'T consider herself sexy now, and that's why she resents her past self.

[@notacatnt]

Had a friend that got done for looking at and distributing stuff to do with kids. He made himself the victim, and looking back I shouldn't have been the one contacting his parole officer from overseas as a 16-year-old because he was violating the terms. For two entire years. Adults around me let me down, and the adults around him said it was normal. And he escaped without consequence, which haunts me to this day. Hell, this is the guy that tried to get a 16-year-old to come to my area when I was twelve, and weaponised said boy's self-harm to manipulate me into doing things. I'm pretty sure when he was looking at those images I was on a call with him, where he forced me to turn on my camera and show my face. Maybe he groomed me, I don't know, but I wish somebody would have protected me. I'm glad the OP in story two is doing something. I wish more people would act. Because in my case, I can't say his name. I can't warn anybody else, because I'll be the one that faces consequences. It's been five years, and it still hurts. These people are not the victims, and there is no excuse.

[@ambercruz3423]

Omg I wouldn't mind one bit if my husband was looking at pictures of me. At least it's of me and not of some young girl that I could never compete with.

[@jeanproctor3663]

Story 1 - This story is just everything in one package and it's actually quite lovely. I'm glad she agreed to keep those early photos. Story 2 - God, this poor woman! But surely there will be a newspaper court report or reporting on local TV news, so whichever way it goes the neighbours will find out one way or another, then it's only a matter of the word getting around on the jungle telephone. I hope she can get away from him and his family. Utter, utter scum-bags.

[@supergeeky7529]

My husband looks different than when I first met him. Longer hair, beard. He was fine as fuck then and he is fine as fuck now! I just love looking at my man, old pictures, new ones. I would cry losing any of them. I am so glad OP and the Mrs talked! 😁😍

[@poohbear4515]

S2: Did this guy meet with Chris Hanson? Why the hell would OP stay in a destroyed relationship? That’s a very unforgivable thing in my book, considering if OP wanted to have kids in the future. His family is equally trash telling her to forgive and stay with him while they push aside what a horrible piece of scum he is. I feel so heartbroken for OP dealing with one heartbreak after another. I hope she’s doing okay after scraping the disgusting piece of ‘gum’ off her shoe.

[@GiordanDiodato]

because she's an immigrant and if she divorces now she might be forcibly deported.

[@loganjoh1]

I can read you getting deeper and deeper into the post as you wrote this comment

[@poohbear4515]

@@loganjoh1lol Sometimes i do. And it also hits hard when you had a SO as a “father”(hate saying that word…)that never got punished for his actions…

[@PassiveSmoking]

Story 1: If OP's wife withdraws consent for OP to have those photos, then he should delete them. But if she's asking for that because she's lost confidence in her appearance, then I hope OP can find a way to help her through any insecurities she may have now. EDIT: I feel like they're both so emotionally mature and so good at communicating, this is such a sweet loving healthy relationship, and it's definitely one that's going to go the distance I feel. Good on both of them.

[@LorienInksong]

Well story 2 is horrifying, and reminds me why I'm glad my ex left me. They were cheating on me with a 21 y/o online (we are mid thirties) and hanging out exclusively with very young adults and teens via the internet. I am however in a desperate battle to not get yeeted out of my home bc my visa was tied to their employment here. If I can't stay I lose everything, including the only family I have left (my cats) and medical care. But not living in terror everyday (they wanted to cut me) is necessary. At least story 1 was really cute. I'm really happy for them.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Story 1: While I understand both sides. Surely tgere should be pictures from that time period that are more appropriate as well. And is keeping the photos worth contributing to her insecurities? Thankfully talking this out solved the issue for both of them. Nice to hear about couples working together.

[@ladyv5655]

Can OP guarantee that there is no possibility those photos will ever fall into the wrong hands? I can understand why she wants those photos gone. OP would be an AH if he kept the photos against her wishes.

[@missnika86]

I don’t understand keeping pics like that

[@Vipre-]

Do you not understand keeping old letters either? It's the same thing from a guy's perspective. Both trigger memories of those past days and the memories are what's important.

[@Lillypop93]

​@Vipre- lol letters filled with words of love and affections is not equal to a risky photo snapped by a young woman women aren't getting off on the letters meanwhile this guy's definitely beating his pogostick to those photos

[@Vipre-]

@@Lillypop93 Yes they are for exactly the reason stated above. That a guy can "[beat] his pogostick" to them is a happy bonus. I've no doubt our great-great-grandmothers did the exact same with spicy letters back in their day. Erotic wartime "love letters" is practically an entire historical genre.

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

If someone asks you to delete sensitive photos of themselves, you DO IT. No questions asked. It is incredibly disrespectful to keep them after she asked to delete.

[@kamaumwangiwambau6897]

It worked out so what's wrong?

[@exikat]

I agree, I genuinely believe that update was just that she convinced herself that she was being unreasonable and came to a compromise she felt a little bit better about. I don't think she's actually comfortable with the SEXY PHOTOS. OP was making it seem like she wanted him to delete every photo of her ever.

[@88kris88]

How tf can you feel jealous of yourself?

[@bridgetbenson6291]

My husband and I are in our 40s. We met when we were 20. I've had kids, and we both have changed. Yes, I get jealous of my 20-year-old self. My husband says similar things when I get self-conscious. It sucks getting old but I got an amazing partner and it sounds like OPs wife has one too.

[@WritersOnTheWall]

story 1 feels like the same as asking my wife to burn love letters becuase I might get embarrassed

[@aduckofsomesort]

Why didn’t OP point out that his body has changed to? No person looks the same after 15 years.

[@hirohiroarikawa6806]

He was caught by the cops being sexual with a “minor” yet he avoided jail nah he should be outed and anyone who bails him out should also be outed

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

If somebody sent pictures of me for that long and loved the way I looked then and now I would count myself very lucky and happy. When I got to be in my thirties I was nowhere near as Tiny as I was in my early twenties. However, I was much more secure with myself as a whole and felt much for a womanly and really loved my curves and how much I changed after having children. She shouldn't make him delete them, she needs to work on her insecurities. It's not like he's comparing her to them and being like oh I wish you still look like this and rubbing it in her face constantly.

[@trirogue95]

Story 1: In my opinion, given the nature of the pics if she wants them deleted they should be deleted. If at the end of the convo she still wanted them deleted it would be best to delete them. Glad they communicated in the end and it was worked out. Story 2: OP is in such a hard spot. I understand people want her to leave NOW (hell I'm sure she wishes she could) but immigration in the US is a joke. I hope she's able to get residency through her job instead of him. It's possible (I have a former coworker who was in a DV situation where husband gave her a green card and she was able to get permanent residency apart from him). It's just hard and EXPENSIVE

[@GiordanDiodato]

I blame Dump for terrible immigration laws.

[@trirogue95]

@@GiordanDiodato as much as I absolutely hate that Cheeto immigration laws have been bad for YEARS long before his presidency. He did make it worse tho

[@kateemma22]

Story 1 so wholesome. But my man if you don't start walking into the bathroom when she's showering and just stand there like you're starstruck then I will smack you.

[@scorpionbraid]

Story 2: The people who were saying OP didn't make her stance on her husband clear or wasn't thinking about the children. She's divorcing the man and putting herself at risk for deportation. Even if she never comes out with a press statement her actions speak volumes.

[@jenf8941]

Ultimately, they're photos of HER. If she wants them deleted he needs to delete them.

[@kadaltokek3953]

Feminazi detected

[@josephmbimbi]

Story 1: all is good, but "Is her insecurity about herself valid in this case ?" rubbed me the wrong way. Any insecurity is valid. If anyone, let alone a friend or a partner tells you they feel insecure about X, never question or invalidate their feelings. Such an answer to them being vulnerable is so inconsiderate. Personally I would build a lot of resentment very fast. That doesn't mean you should accept every request made to you in the name of the insecurity though

[@taetannim3581]

Omg, he didn't just cheat on you- he has been doing it with *children*!! Wtf are you doing if you aren't throwing this monster tf OUT!!!

[@SaphireSalvatore940]

NTA OP isn't the AH for saving them originally but it wouldn't kill him to delete them now at her request. But the wife clearly feels insecure about herself now so could do with some help to encourage her confidence. I'm glad they could talk through it and sound it a good place now

[@destinedtogame]

They're his

[@jayster5077]

Awesome 👌