My Wife Is Prioritising A Bachelorette Over OUR Anniversary r/Relationships

[@briansmaller7443]

That Wife in S2 wanted an open marriage to legitmize the fact that she was already screwing someone. She just hates it that the boot is now on the other foot.

[@KyrieChii]

And said boot is about to be up her rear.

[@ynmonroe]

She may not have been sleeping with the other person yet but likely already had someone else in mind. My two cents is, the wife is now afraid the money is going elsewhere. Meaning, if OP catches feelings for another women he won't be as inclined to put up with her BS. Her demand for another house may be a fallback plan. She probably has realized that he is emotionally distancing himself and is less inclined to deal with her. In case of divorce, she wants marital assets that won't have to be split. Her demand for details is probably so she can either gauge how far along his new relationship is and has a heads up if needed or so that she can throw little wrenches in to prevent him from getting too serious. Bottom line: she is manipulative, greedy, and selfish. Glad he is divorcing her.

[@kylaluv8453]

​@ynmonroe Spot on, shevis petrified that the "gravy train" will disappear. Meaning, her cushy life. For the last few years she had a nice life with a man who supported her, she could sleep with who ever she wanted, and her kids are set up. Plus, this man who supported her was kind enough, that was sarcasm, to almost never be around due to working long hours. Now suddenly he isn't working all the time. Suddenly he is spending time with another women. She has probably noticed that OP has an actual smile on his face. She knows everything is about to crumble upon her. Cause, even though we know she wasn't just getting sex from these men otherwise she would still get non sexual intimacy from OP, she knows her hubby doesn't need her for anything like she needed his money.

[@SirFailsalot91]

Those two words, "open relationship," are the biggest red flag for anyone that their partner is planning on or already is cheating on them - they just want you to know about it and "give them permission" to keep on doing it until things go wrong and they have you to fall back on. Unless you have made it clear that you are perfectly happy with the concept of being in an open relationship before you both got together, then the only answer to them asking about it is "No" at best and "If you want to sleep around, you can do so as a single man/woman" at worst - for your own sanity, never give up on your stance on being in a monogamous relationship if you're not comfortable with your partner sleeping with someone else whilst they're dating/married to you.

[@srsmedic8285]

When he agreed to the “open” marriage she 100% was either already fucking someone or she was 3 minutes later

[@loganjoh1]

Story 1: even hearing this a second time I am still confused why the wife picked their anniversary for the bachelorette party when she was the one to plan it? No wonder people were dragging OP’s wife for that.

[@KanaidBlack]

Cuz the wife was deeply scared of her ex-friend

[@colleens1107]

THANK YOU. I went into this psychotic story thinking well just celebrate the anniversary on another day but then saw SHE CHOSE THE DATE. And no one has given an explanation as to why the holy hell she would choose that date. My money is friend harassed her into it and that woman has no spine against this bully

[@loganjoh1]

Literally could’ve picked to do it a week later she picked the date of the party not the ex friend she chose her anniversary date for no reason

[@kaitohkid7229]

Many men aren't hung up on these dates unlike women so maybe she didn't know that he is that sensible?

[@PrimateProductions]

​@colleens1107 I don't think the friend is as much of a "bully" as the husband keeps screaming.. I think the friend and the husband don't like each other and the wife just has absolutely no spine to set any boundaries and probably goes along with whatever the friend says behind hubby's back which is why she doesn't defend him when he is right there.

[@Butterism]

In the words of my brother: "Do you know how insulting it is to see someone who owes you money decide to eat out?" Nah. Ask me to borrow money for essentials when you're buying luxury goods? Nah. Hell no.

[@BabyNazarath]

" i dont know why everybody is bullying my wife" Its almost like she is an adult and she should have really stood up for herself and of course, her husband

[@juliearmfield2634]

I know how dare you expect a married woman to act like an adult. /s. 😂

[@colleens1107]

OMG I KNOW. Like if she keys the car, fine. Then you have a reason to press charges. Neither OP nor his wife seem to have any spine

[@truthseeker9249]

Because she's weak.

[@TheBlueDsc]

Yeah, OP says "It's not as simple as 'she needs to block her'" but like, I've been in that kind of situation. Even if it's hard to actually do it, it literally is that simple.

[@ynmonroe]

@@colleens1107 Right? Like it's the worst thing to happen. There are laws to protect property everywhere. The wife is just too okay with going along with her bully.

[@simac8396]

Story 1: So let her key your car...then charge her with vandalism....geez grow a spine.

[@jojoone1099]

They needed to get the camera --- otherwise there's no proof.

[@aikikaname6508]

@@jojoone1099Even so, as much as her keying the car sucks… pay to get it fixed. It’s not worth having an awful person in their life

[@kateemma22]

Me to both of these people - OP is spineless and his wife is pathetic. Neither of these people are mentally old enough to be married because they come across as mature as teenagers.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

​@@kateemma22as mature as teenagers? You're giving these two too much credit. Even teens would have better sense and boundaries than these two. They have the maturity and sense grade schoolers have. "Bwut, I want my fwiends to wike me, and dey don't wike OP, so I don't wike OP eeder!" type of shit.

[@jojoone1099]

@@aikikaname6508 Of course, but I can see waiting a few days before blowing up a life-long friendship to catch the culprit in the imagined act.

[@juanvilas5341]

Story 2 : Pathetic, She just wanted to cheat on OP without guilt and in the end that ended up biting her because OP worried about his image and ended up doing what she has done for years and now suddenly she wants to have the cake and eat it. No, she ended her own marriage by giving that ultimatum without discussing anything, she made her bed and now she can lay on it. It's funny that cheaters think that if they can get their partner to have an open relationship they can do whatever they want but they change their attitude when their partner also takes advantage of the open relationship.

[@SkyEcho751]

Not only that, she tried to get extra debt to keep OP as an ATM for her. She knows he's well set, he's just not "relationship material".

[@sarahlyon157]

I'm polyam and hate when someone bullies their spouse into "opening the relationship". It gives people who actually do the work to maintain multiple relationships a bad name.

[@tully6648]

@@SkyEcho751 Yeah, she saw how hard he'd worked for the past couple of years and you _know_ she figured she could keep him longer (and keep him from dating) if she got them back into debt again. 'Cause if he worked that hard the first time, he'd probably go back to 70+ hour work weeks again.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

Sadly, he's going to continue supporting her after the divorce for a decade or more...possibly life.

[@terramarini6880]

@@SkyEcho751 Jane seems to think otherwise. Sarah ducked up and she knows it. She didn't think about what happens when he meets someone (we all know she didn't think it was going to happen) and the kids aren't living at home anymore. She is not playing 3-D chess here that's for sure. Now she can't nail him for child support, court will give her a few years of alimony with the expectation she get on her own 2 feet sooner than later and half of any assets accrued during the marriage excluding inheritances and assets accrued before the marriage. she is watching her own retirement plan sink into the abyss because it really didn't include him, she expected him to go back to 70+ hrs a week to buy her another house and car... for what exactly? To live in by herself and entertain boyfriends while hubby pays for it? Oh hell nah trifling heifer, be gone. Get a job and fund that nonsense on your own.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: It's ironic that people who are forced into an open relationship tend to find a partner that's worth being exclusive with. Only then does the original partner think there's a problem with the arrangement.

[@truthseeker9249]

That's why I was saying I hope he keeps dating Jane. She sounds like a keeper. Maybe the relationship won't go anywhere long term but it seems worth it to try.

[@nareegreel]

Story 1: Wife's the AH if she doesn't go get therapy. This friendship might have ended, but without help, her need to be liked will cause problems again. I'm always wary of people like this, perpetual doormats.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

The wife forgot one time

[@PrimateProductions]

​@@KadeStringer2.0what do you mean she forgot one time? Forgot what? What are you talking about?

[@huinismith]

Right from the start, the two front seats in a vehicle are reserved for both members of a couple. I don't drive and I know it. Edited to add: I'm talking about the couple who owns the car.

[@jessiejeanne9717]

What happened to all our unwritten rules?

[@matthews2122]

That is most definitely not always true. If it is one of the couples siblings or parents, the front seat may be vacated for them, or quite possibly a very good friend that they haven’t seen in a long time. It also depends how long the trip is. Also, if they have a disability or an injury that they need in the leg room of the front seat.

[@nightmarefanatic1819]

If someone actually gets carsick I can understand wanting to be in the front since it helps, and when my BIL takes me somewhere with my sister, they let me sit up front since I get carsick, and also it's easier on my legs since I'm taller than my sister. The very rare times I have to sit in the backseat I don't eat junk food though.

[@MountainPearls]

Yeah. Especially if one of them are injured or sick. It might be *nice* -even respectful or “the right thing to do” to give up your seat for a car sick (or otherwise hurt or injured) person. But giving up a seat for someone who is sick from over eating/drinking (particularly when injured) is not necessary or even something you should consider (especially for such an awful person)…and something no minutely respectful, decent human being would even consider asking (no matter how drunk they are). This is exactly why I put small bathroom sized trash bags in my backseat pockets, and cleaner, paper towels and sanitizing spray in the trunk! It’s also why my college friends all made an agreement to pay to have the DDs car cleaned if we puke in it (individually). Someone did and had my backseat and floor steam cleaned after such an incident (and still cleaned it well the next day until they could get it professionally cleaned). I also carry a First Aid Kit and one of the mouth guards for CPR (seems excessive but I’ve come across an accident-kid hit by a car while on his bike- where I was in a position of considering doing it should it become necessary…despite bodily fluids from a broken jaw. Thankfully, EMS arrived first and revived him before he tanked far enough to need it. It was a kid-who is fine now btw-how could I NOT keep him alive if possible? I’d never be able to live with myself if I didn’t try). ANYHOW (Triptans-migraine meds-make me chatty and a bit of a rambler). I’m glad that he communicated with his wife and they’ve worked things out. I hope they work on that to lessen their obvious mutual anxiety about what the other is thinking when there is a conflict.

[@Cosmiccrying]

Eh, I go by the ‘whoever gets there first’ unless it’s my brother, my brother ALWAYS gets the front seat, simply because he’s my brother and is the most important person in my life

[@JayeEllis]

Story 3: NTA - If I've said it once, I'll say it a million times: Do not combine your finances with someone you already know cannot handle money! That includes signing a lease. You've already bailed him out for rent twice, and covered his share of the security deposit. There is a reason his landlord wants him out. Take a lesson while it's still cheap - this will continue to be an expensive relationship, and you're the ATM.

[@rachaelclark8465]

He only wants to still move in so YOU will pay rent and that car payment.

[@eddavanleemputten9232]

Exactly. I fell into that trap, albeit unknowingly. As long as my ex’s mother was still alive, she’d bail him out on the sly. That means our daughter was 3 years old before I started finding out how bad he was with money. It took a while for me after her passing to find out the extent of the damage. By that time he had managed to isolate me from my support system and was threatening to take our child away from me. It took me around ten more years, a whole lot of misery and a few strokes of unbelievable luck to finally break free with our daughter. No matter how solid and stable your SO seems, if you get married ALWAYS get a prenup. It’s like car insurance: you never plan on crashing but if it happens you’re glad there’s damage control. Make sure the prenup is fair. When no marriage is involved, make sure there’s stuff on paper tracing separate AND common assets. Keep that paperwork in a safe place. Never, EVER only have a joint account. ALWAYS keep at least part of your finances separate. Before combining finances, try to each have enough for at least a deposit on a separate place. If not, work towards that deposit ASAP. If possible, don’t touch that deposit-money unless a catastrophe happens. Instead, build on it, invest it safely, grow it. A freak accident can mean the joint account gets frozen for a while, the SO’s account might be inaccessible for a time, etc. It’s not necessarily bug-out money. It’s an emergency fund. Your SO might be wonderful but your SO’s family might turn toxic. Your family might turn toxic. Bad things happen to good people.

[@owl7072]

Story 3: No cause my brother pulled the same thing recently and our mom is _still_ so mad at him. He had two cars, one was already fully paid off and he had said he would let me have it when i got my license (I can't afford my own and likely won't be able to for a _while_ ) But then suddenly he went to go "look" at a new truck then _traded in both cars that same day_ for a truck that had a $700/month payment. I would like to note that this man's bank account is in the negatives last I heard, and keeps going into the negatives. Long story short, Op has every reason to not trust him with having a house together if he's struggling to pay his half of rent, then suddenly getting a "weekend car"

[@ashh4929]

Dude, that's messed up. My prick of a father was like this, too. He would always claim we never had enough money for anything that crested bare minimum, but he would always somehow end up with brand new gadgets and whatever else he wanted for himself. I know of at least one house we lived in, he let go into foreclosure that shouldn't have had to. When my mom finally got the grapes (and the money) to divorce him, it turns out she had no idea how much he was actually making. He was making WAY more than he let on, among other abusive tendencies, he was financially controlling. We almost cried, considering we all could have lived so much better and had much more of our health problems taken care of. On top of the sheer betrayal factor, knowing we weren't important enough to him in any way. To this day, we don't know what he spent it all on. The f*cked up part is that he would steal what little money she, myself, or my sister saved for anything. Then we found out that when he did his deliveries for his work, if there were any available, he would pay the mentally handicap people (the ones that would be employed through those programs for people with mental conditions) that would work at these stores to unload the stock from his truck. He would pay them like $20 or less. Usually less from what I have been told, but it was verified that he was doing this. (Before anyone asks why he wasn't canned for that, plus the stealing he was caught doing or the sexual misconduct he did that were all also verified? Well, 2 reasons. 1: Union job, and 2: this was back just long enough ago that these kinds of things were handled differently. Take a demotion, and after that, it's the swept under the rug approach. Honestly, I could write a novel of all the messed up shit he's done, and I'm disgusted knowing I share any of his genetics.

[@diamcole]

S2: Nah, girl lol that's not how it works - at all. I would have just accepted the divorce ultimatum and ripped the bandaid off (going from monogamous to ENM/Poly/open is damn near impossible, especially under these conditions). How hypocritical of her.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 2: Slide Sarah those divorce papers. Sarah has been f__king all these years. Happy as can be. Now that OP is f__king, it's a problem. Chile!!!!! The beginning was exactly what Sarah wanted. Sarah wanted to "cheat" without it being wrong and knew OP would not because OP was too busy. Now, Sarah is trying to get OP to go back to the long hours (requesting another house and car), so Sarah can continue living in bliss. OP said AHT AHT! Get Sarah up outta there. She's done!

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 1: the title alone had me chuckling before I even listened to it cause my own parents forgot their first anniversary. It’s been 28 years and I’VE remembered it more often than them

[@spikesgirl9371]

My son and daughter in law never remember thier anniversary. They do a vacation in June just to cover it.

[@katrina484]

If he hasn't learned how to manage his money by 31, he isn't going to. Some people never learn this and are in perpetual debt and can't afford retirement. It's time to leave him before his debts become your debts.

[@mbyerly9680]

He's sees OP as an ATM that will allow him to keep spending. Once he trapped OP in the apartment, he knew he could make her pay the rent or lose her credit.

[@richardhandcock]

Yeah, OP needs break up with him immediately. A relationship that is predicated on your partner changing is never going to work, it's a terrible situation to be in.

[@ynmonroe]

I don't think he plans to learn. He strikes me as a "my money is MY money and your money is our/my money" type. I think he knew that OP is a responsible person and would "have to" cover him when he is short. I feel like had she moved in with him she would be paying all of the bills why he paid his personal expenses and spent the rest, along with some of hers, as fun money. Dude was planning to live large. Also, if they are in the US, that $70K turns into around $50 or so after taxes. Doesn't sound like he has any kids or dependents. So dude is bleeding money.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Money is such a big part of a relationship. You cannot see the two things apart from eachother. It's stupid to think being financially incompatible isn't a reason to break up.

[@carterpitbull7366]

@@ynmonroeyeah there was no way he was paying a 800$ car payment AND rent. he was going to mooch and make op pay all the bills while he drove some stupid car.

[@AndyyWithAY]

74 hours down to 30? That's a jump. Only option is divorce. This is a hot mess. Open relationships only work if both people enthusiastically consent not when one is coercive. And for some people an open relationship is a dealbreaker. For me just asking means I'm filling for divorce. Nothing about that lifestyle interests me in any way

[@TheHellsHobbit]

Story 3 Run, he has no concept of money management and he will bring you down financially.

[@meagancall5005]

Story 2: There is no marriage to save. It's purely legal at this point. OP's wife made an ultimatum. OP picked the option that he thought was more livable, but it also seems pretty clear that he started emotionally shutting off from her at that point (very very very understandable). That's not a criticism, honestly it sounds like that really was the right decision for him, and he's managed to find his own happiness while maintaining a civil parenting partnership with his in-house ex-wife. So then he goes out and does the thing they agreed to, and suddenly his wife isn't happy with the arrangement that's been working for her for years. It's not just him finding a partner, it's him cutting his hours so he's not as financially exploitable, it's him prioritizing his home life so he's more present (for things that aren't HER), it's him getting healthy and happy and she's not a part of that. She's selfish and her interest sounds conditional. Since she wants to change the terms now, and OP is in a more stable position now, THIS is the time for divorce. Glad he's come to that conclusion, and I hope he's taken some kind of precautions against her coming anti-OP PR campaign, because she seems like the type who's going to get petty.

[@christianrosario9414]

17:07-17:19. It's an ego thing. Their egos are bruised when the counselor is acting fair and not siding with them against their partner, so they pout.

[@ScooterBond1970]

She doesn't want her problems fixed, she wants personal validation.

[@UsagiArwen]

"me buying a $42,000 car is none of your business" Here's what my response would be. "That's fair. You do with your life whatever you want. But you don't always get to like the consequences that come along with your actions. I can make my own choices too and I will not burden myself with more financial responsibility because you decided to be financially irresponsible. Welcome to adulthood. We are done"

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

And he even traded in the "everyday car" for this high maintenance one with a huge monthly payment. OP was totally going to have to cover all the rent most of the time. Better to just be on her own than have to deal with that crap. New cars are one of the quickest ways to end up in crippling debt.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

have you ever had a friend being a bully...yea, like i was 17 and walked away. from there onward if someone starts up i stop talking to them. Live is too short for someone else's bs

[@winterkind1772]

Story 3: Never hope that your partner will change. If you are not okay with they way they are right now, you are NOT compatible. And especially money is a huge deal.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

"Have you never known someone who was friends with a bully" Most sane people don't wanna associate with someone who's friends with any sort of abuser, be it a bully or a wife beater

[@AndyyWithAY]

My pain meds have been working. I feel OK all things considered. Yesterday Mum asked if I was going anywhere today. Only to the kitchen to make enchiladas. Ms. Lily would have had a fit! She was very serious about not getting wind in your mouth after a procedure. And, she was right of course. Southern grandmothers are just a different breed 🤣 I put some black beans and mushrooms with the ground beef for the filling turned out great. I felt good enough to take a walk. Unfortunately time is going too quickly and back to work tomorrow, but I'm feeling OK and have good food, so I won't complain👍🏾😌

[@MarkNarrations]

Glad you're feeling ok mate

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Glad you're feeling OK 🤗🤗💜💜

[@jessiejeanne9717]

​@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589hey... your name looks familiar. If you were going through some interpersonal hardships (family) a couple years ago, I think you & I talked some things out. If that is you, I prayed for and thought about you. I'm so grateful to see you're still fighting and am so proud of you for your tenacity! If it's not, I'm gonna stand by this and make it true, cuz you're broken, but fighting which means fortitude! ❤

[@carolroberts4614]

So glad you're feeling better! I know what you mean about Grandmother's sayings! English ones are like that too.

[@badkitty4922]

So glad you're doing better! You should know to listen to Southern Grannies by now, lol!😂😘💖🫂🐾🐾

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - “What would you do in my shoes?” Leave. I say that as a polyamorous person. If someone starts making more rules because they’re jealous that you are enjoying spending time with others in an open or polyamorous relationship and you aren’t neglecting time with them (not applicable in this story since wifey checked out to focus on sex outside the marriage), they just want it to be one way only. Only they get to enjoy the company of more than one partner, because a lot of people out there have ego issues and want to feel like the most desirable person there is, having a relationship where their partner(s) also have other partners is the greatest slap in the face to that ego.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

And she wasn't even working! God, what a leech. A divorce isn't nearly as bad as having to live with such crap circumstances.

[@Tammohawk1]

I would not move in with someone who is financially irresponsible. He had to borrow money from OP for the deposit for the apartment, yet had the money to but a used Corvette? Nope.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 3: BREAK UP!!!! BF did OP a favor by purchasing the car before signing the lease. Girl, you in danger! GET AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!!

[@thecrowuknow]

8:57 lol at the dramatic pause while reading the title

[@rylashadow18]

S1) The wife has put you, your marriage and your relationship on the back burner. She wants to go act like a single lady? She'd be coming back to divorce papers. The level of disrespect she allowed to go on would have had me dipping out ages ago. Sorry but it doesn't matter how long they've known each other the fact that she vowed to never let anyone forsake you yet let's this life leech do so is so telling. It's good she finally started growing a spine. S2) The very moment says give me an open marriage or we divorce you tell them you're calling a divorce attorney in the morning, changing all your status on every social to single with one message. "The So said give me an open relationship or divorce. I felt as if I was dealing with a threat and don't take those lightly so divorce it is." The reason she keeps bringing up divorce is because it's the only card she has left in her deck of being a narc. Just take it and go OP. S3) OP leave. He doesn't care about you. It's my money is my money and your money is my money. Time to dump this loser to the corner from wence he came.

[@clarrie93]

Yeah.. i have listened to the first story and OP lowkey annoys me. "I'm an 'action speaks louder' kind of person" yeah and your wife's action SCREAMED OUT how much she cares more about her friend than you

[@VergilTheLegendaryDarkSlayer]

Story 2 The marriage was dead the moment she started cheating and used the "open the marriage or divorce" as a way to justify her cheating

[@juliearmfield2634]

The wife is nothing but a selfish lying manipulating cheat. She was already cheating she just wanted to get the pass to try and backdate it so she didn't get in trouble. I'm glad he wised up got his ducks in a row and is getting out of that

[@AndyyWithAY]

The title was familiar, but I'd forgotten the content of the story. How can we NOT blame the wife. The wife is to blame. You should've never married this woman. Your wife is just giving you lip service. Her actions clearly say you mean nothing to her. Your wife got to choose when the bach was and she chose your FIRST anniversary. And you think the friend is to blame? Take off the rose colored glasses

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

The fact the wife doesn’t defend him, and plans the bachelorette on the anniversary trip is what does it for me. Like she says she understands, and I’m willing to give her some leeway, but she needs to start doing something instead of just talking.

[@jojoone1099]

The wife is afraid that she'll lose all of her friends.

[@lusnoct4298]

@@jojoone1099 When she's going so far out of her way to show him that he doesn't matter to her, she ought to be worried about losing her husband.

[@jojoone1099]

@lusnoct4298 IMO, it's not healthy to be afraid of "losing" anyone. I understand her thinking and can empathize, but I don't agree with her thinking. If her childhood friends could be so easily manipulated to cut her off because a bully bad mouths her, she doesn't have the relationship with them that she hoped. To respond to your point, she was "worried" about losing her husband and ended the friendship as soon as he reached his breaking point.

[@bhutehole]

@@jojoone1099 she could have chosen a different date. it was her decision to choose. not the friends. his wife is just two faced and she is just throwing her friend under the bus cause she can see now that she is about to implode her marriage. besides never in my life out of all the bad people i have met, have I seen someone get mad cause someone defended their spouse.

[@desertgirl8647]

❤it's raining in Palm Springs today! Now I can cozy up with Mark and listen to his narrations! Much waffle gang love to you all!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗💜💜🧇🧇

[@heathermiller5765]

Raining here in San Diego too. A little much though lol 😊

[@SchoolVideosGoHere]

S3: Financial issues are the #1 cause for divorce. OP was right to not get sucked into her BF's financial mismanagement

[@shawnbrooks5293]

When you move in with someone their financial issues become your financial issues.

[@shaylelistoe4992]

My husband and I have a... I don't like calling it an "open relationship" cuz I feel that implies the door is just open you come and go as you please and just do your own thing. We tell eachother everything when finding potential partners and when we have dates we tell all details. The whole thing started with us fooling around with other couples. Knowing the ins and outs of eachothers extramarital interactions is completely mutual and something we are both into and works for us. The decision to move to this relationship dynamic was completely mutual and we check in with eachother every step of the way. My biggest personal rule is always that we only involve other partners if everything is healthy between us and it's not taking anything away from our relationship. I can't even imagine treating my partner like that, an open relationship is not something you can force or unilaterally control

[@bhutehole]

you broke your vows to each other. your "marriage" is a shame and not real anymore. you may call it a marriage all you like but your admitted actions say otherwise. Congrats on being a unicorn couple with little jealousy at the moment. just give it time and jealousy will destroy your relationship too. just like all open relationships

[@Yahweh-dn9cv]

Never set yourself on fire to keep other people warm,1st story

[@Russman67]

Story 3: Nope. This dude is going to implode his life by overspending his 70,000 salary. She has already had to bail his butt out for rent before he got a Corvette with an $800 car payment. Run lady! Fast.

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 3: Financial stability and agreement is a very important part of relationship.

[@mbyerly9680]

Fear of something happening is almost always worse than what actually happens. OP's wife could have walked away years ago.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

21:37 - Never, never, NEVER marry someone or stay with someone or plan a future with someone based on the hope that they will change! People don't change unless THEY REALLY WANT TO CHANGE and it doesnt sound like this guy does.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

S2: This wasn't a "request" to open the marriage. It never is. It's ALWAYS a threat, an ultimatum...it's coercion. Sadly, because she doesn't work, she will take EVERYTHING from him.

[@jengibs]

Story 1: OP didn't have a bad friend problem, he had a wife problem. A wife with zero spine.

[@CareyBilley]

S1 You can never bargain with crazy and entitled, it isn't over yet.

[@jaimejones3177]

Story 3: What ever possessed you to think it was a good idea to move in with him before he bought the car? You already knew how financially irresponsible he was, but you were ready to tie yourself down with him for 8 months? Thankfully the car is a good excuse for you to back out, but he doesn't sound like relationship material. He seems like he's using you, so he can spend all his money on whatever he wants. What happens if something happens to you and YOU need help? Hes useless... get rid of him and find a MAN.

[@Peeges_]

Thanks for hanging out with us ❤

[@C0C0N0T]

The reason why a lot of marriage counseling doesn't work is because one party (often the cause of the problems in the marriage) feels like the counselor takes the side of the other partner, often because of gender; a female counselor sides with the wife, for example. It's a problem in particular with men, to be honest--it helps them to have a male presence to "get their side". A friend couple of mine are both marriage counselors, they have found much more success together than they did individually, switching which side of the couple talks to who and having a group session. I think its kind of interesting

[@bhutehole]

extremely logical concept. should be copied by the rest imo

[@luizad2277]

Dude can try to stick up for his wife all he wants, but she’s an absolute spineless doormat

[@Ash-op2ql]

I dated a guy who had an older t top corvette. Every minor repair was at least $1000. And this was a 90s one in the late 2000s, so parts and labor just get more expensive from there. Insurance is more. And not to forget you can only put premium gas in those things.

[@Henry.25]

8:59 Divorce. Nothing more, nothing less. Divorce. Edit. 10:58 bro really said boink 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: Glad to see that friendship is over. S2: I've seen this story before! Unless the couple starts out as open/ployam, any requests to "open" a marriage is just that partner wanting sanctioned cheating. The wife FAFO'd and OP2 finally realized his own worth. I agree with you Mark, the marriage ended already and divorce is the best way forward for them. S3: NTA dump the BF.

[@anotherone1532]

Story 3 I don’t think homeboy knows what the business is

[@FanFicnic]

Story 2: god op has been in survival mode for so long, he doesn’t know how to get out of it

[@badkitty4922]

Story 1, sounds like ex friend wants all pics and etc deleted because she's afraid of her toxicity and shenanigans getting put out there for everyone to see. No need to worry. OP 's wife is spineless.

[@SappyDuder]

Story 1: I remember the first bit of story. I was very curious why the date of the party had to be the anniversary, but it is possible the ex friend made a huge deal about it HAVING to be that day. Cameras are a MUST for their property if the wife is concerned she might key the car. Story 2: that is not how open relationships work. OP needs to leave the wife, she was 100% cheating before she requested it to be opened. She doesn't want her husband being happy, she wants him complacent. Councilors don't "take sides" they find compromise. The only people who think a counselor "takes sides" are the people who need to reflect on themselves. Story 3: the boyfriend needs to learn how to use his money wisely. It is HIS fault they aren't moving in together. It IS her business what he buys because his lack of good financial decisions will affect her when they live together. He needs a financial planner or a limit on his spending

[@browniewin4121]

1) Planning the bachelorette party for the anniversary was stupid, she really needs to shine up her spine and cut this toxic woman out of her life. It seems OP was not unreasonable to tell his wife she needs to chose between him or this awful friend. After update: Too bad they lost money, but at least now that horrible person is no more in their lives. 2) It sounds horrible to be with someone who is not a partner. This marriage was over when OP's selfish wife wanted to F* around. Now OP has found someone and she is possessive and jealous and wants to make him give that up. OP shouldn't do it, he should get a divorce and start living his life without this BS. After update: I'm happy to hear OP has seen his wife for the totally selfish, money grubbing person she is, who is not interested in repairing their relationship. I'm glad that he is now going to divorce. I wish him to find much happiness and fulfillment for the rest of his life. 2) Sounds like OP dodged a bullet, she should not only not move into a place with him, but should end this relationship. NTA. No way should she at this point consider him anything other than an X. He is not going to change, he is selfish and would be happy to manipulate and control OP and run her into debt for his benefit.

[@chasefrost1401]

The ending of the last update would've been the perfect place to throw in a silly little porky-pie like "And here's the latest update of op and wife's obituary because the friend went insane"

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark

[@1tommyday]

These people must be on the young side. Older people dont deal with knowing bullies.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Story 1: Wofe not standing up for her partner/relationship is already wild. But letting the friend take her away from her first anniversary? Wife is lucky OP is so patient.

[@areformingamadon]

Story 2: Don't stay in a loveless marriage just for the kids. They will grow up thinking that is normal, and it will affect them going forward. This is also a common problem with open relationships when the wife is the one who wants to open it, the men are looking for monogamy, and look for it elsewhere.

[@brandyb2931]

Hope you are having a great night Mark! Brandy from Florida 😁

[@mattl6300]

If she asks for an open relationship, just divorce, thats where it will end anyway.

[@sc-bj2fs]

Story1: Op's wife was doing it alone. A 74hr work week means he was never home, & when he was he was exhausted from working all those hours. My guy needs a real vacation! Having kids changed everything for him. He didn't want his kids to struggle financially,but they will struggle emotionally as kids of divorced parents. So,he was absent, his qife struggled with kids alone,but it's best for the wife & him to desolve their marriage ASAP. Good luck. I hope life is better for you.

[@gigga143]

S1: Both OP and his wife are annoying to me… his wife continuously put this woman over him and their relationship, and allowed her friend to disrespect him at every turn with a BS excuse about being afraid of her friend so she could continue to enable her, and then OP just kept defending her when commenters called him out. and oh look, rude friend just talked some smack, called a few times and then moved on with her life when his wife finally decided to cut her off. there was no crazy behavior or keying of the car, which just shows his wife’s excuses for her friend’s behavior was just that, excuses.

[@NoOne-fo1di]

Just so you know Mark, your videos always cheer me up when I'm having a shit day. You genuinely keep a smile on my face throughout your videos but I'm starting to get upset that you don't "go off on one" anymore lol give us more stories about you in between stories and comments you cheeky bugger

[@Psibound]

Story 3. When you move in together with plans to split bills and such, him spending so much on a car is OP's business. Moving in together is typically marking the hey lets see if we are marriage compatible. So money is very much a part of that. As in the end his debt is OP's debt .

[@Rose_Bride]

*OP:* Describes his wife consistently putting her @bu$¡ve friend above her husband and regularly bringing said @bu$¡ve friend around her husband, allowing her to bully him. *Also OP:* _"I don't know why everyone is dragging my wife!"_

[@MariaPlacido-b7s]

Good Tuesday Evening Mark, Poppy and Waffle Gang world wide. Sending warm thoughts from kind of warm for February in Toronto Ontario Canada 🇨🇦 😊

[@Mark_Proton]

I've had a project car for four years now. I have barely touched it, because the world is in financial turmoil and family comes first. The car gets scraps of my income, because it is a hobby, but I can't imagine splurging on it.

[@eddavanleemputten9232]

Story 2: Funny how, when there are issues in a committed relationship, usually one partner pushes for the dynamic causing the issues, then backtracks when what (s)he was pushing for yields results (s)he didn’t expect. Then the other partner requests counselling. The first one doesn’t feel the need for counselling until it’s apparent the relationship is about to end and then, often decides the counsellor is ‘biased’. In other words: “I want X!” “Oops, I didn’t realise X also means Y. I don’t want Y!” “Boo-hoo! Now I’m sad you don’t want to return to pre-X/Now I want to add self-serving rules that skew X in my favour and totally screw you over.” “I don’t want counselling, I want to keep my cake and eat it too!” “If counselling is the only thing that keeps you from leaving, okay let’s go for counselling (but only if the counsellor takes MY side!” “Boo-hoo! The counsellor is biased!” Yeah. That’s not how it works. If you messed up and you’re lucky enough to have a partner willing to/wanting to go to counselling, you have to be aware it’ll take work and compromise from BOTH sides. And if your partner is past counselling and just wants out, that’s a consequence of you messing up. Work out a separation like reasonable adults. Stay civil (goes for both partners).

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

Same old story. Partner 1: I want an open marriage. Partner 2: I don't like the idea. Partner 1: I want to divorce. Partner 2: Fine let’s do it. Partner 1: Hey your doing better than I am. How dare you find love. That's not how this was supposed to go. You were meant to be sitting pining for me at home. I'm the only one that was supposed to be having fun fooling around. Let's close the marriage. My flings aren't giving me that thrill anymore. Your not following what i envisioned. You were supposed to be miserable while i had fun. You were never meant to have fun. Partner 2: Nah I'm good. I'm up for divorce if that's what you want. Partner 1: Shocked Pikachu face. Not how they thought this would go

[@SpiderRiderKya]

'Have you never had a friend who is clearly friends with a bully?' No, b/c anyone who is friends with a bully, is probably a bully.

[@plantemor]

I have had friends like that. The reason why remained amicable with them for awhile was because they leveraged my friend group and my place of work against me. Eventually they managed to ruin both for me so much that I had nothing let to lose and they lost power over me. Be willing to lose friends and jobs to get away from a Psycho and they have no power over you. That's my advice. I haven't regretted it even though it was a terrible experuence

[@tully6648]

Story 1: When I was in my 20s, I was in a similar situation as the wife in the story. I knew I needed to drop my worst relationships, but some of them tied back into my best ones, and as someone who always struggled to make friends I was so, so scared that their retaliation would leave me with _no_ friends. When I finally snapped, I had a long, awful cry over my fears and how so many happy memories would turn into sad ones. I was partially right-some of my 'best' friends left when the worst ones made them choose who to be with. (Which I'll never understand, but that's not for me to live with.) But others stayed, and a couple of us are still happily in touch. I wasn't made to choose between my partner or my friends... Honestly, if I had been then I would've pulled the trigger much, much sooner. So, yeah. I kinda get her. But I really hope she has her full snap moment like I did and just accepts that, yeah, the ex-friend will probably do some s-tty things and she'll have to deal with it. It sucks, but it sucks way less than keeping her around. Story 3: "He yelled at me for butting in on his business saying it's not my business what he buys." It 100% is when you're expecting your GF to foot all the bills because you bought a car you can't afford. Fool can have fun sleeping in his stupid shiny new Vette.

[@shanebrown4146]

I am only at 1:26 and am fuming, (my now ex wife of 16 years)had a similar friend when we were just dating & I gave her a choice.Either ditch the friend or we were done.Lets see how this train wreck ends./ ending:At least the guy did not jump as fast as I would have-there would NEVER be a chance for a relationship as I would have dropped everything in a sec without a doubt

[@ScottieBibble]

I have 2 vids to listen to on my birthday ❤. Yaaaaaas!

[@STB-jh7od]

Story 1: Ex-friend demanding pics/videos be deleted, means she thinks OP's wife has incriminating evidence that would destroy her wedding/marriage/friendships.

[@stellamccoy5259]

If my husband asked for an open marriage, I would have handed him divorce papers as an answer.

[@harrymiller7517]

I cannot fathom why people NEED to be accepted, especially when they're being bullied. Who TF cares? While I accept the wife's fears, she is still spineless and needs to learn to stand up for herself, but the overall concept of the NEED to be accepted, to comply with others demands, regardless of any absurdity or demeaning quality.

[@MikeWeathers-fo1vs]

S3: OP Bf figured with moving in together he had more expendable income…lol, he was wrong.

[@kasuihikari]

Before we finally got a divorce my ex husband and I had sessions with five marriage counselors, he canceled after three sessions because they asked him to take responsibility for his part of the problems in our marriage.

[@johexxkitten]

You know what would help OPs boyfriend make all his household payments? She could just help him pay for his car! You watch, he’s going to try it...

[@AndyyWithAY]

Last story don't rent with him and break up with this guy. Money is one of the top reasons couples fight and marriages end in divorce. 70k is well above the national average. He should have savings or at least not be buying unnecessary cars. Hondas are quality cars that can last for years and years. And, it absolutely IS your business. An eviction or his nonpayment can affect your financial and renting future

[@GiordanDiodato]

"who needs two cars?" Well if one's in the shop, you kinda need one to get to work

[@JustFilmAlready]

True but homie clearly couldn’t afford it? And out of all the nice sports cars a “regular Joe” could’ve gotten he chose pretty much the most expensive one. If I was going to go that route I would’ve gotten a demon than probably a basic corvette. Even though the basic corvette is nice and all I would want to feel like I got more for my money 😂 it was just a poor choice I would’ve dipped on him too making those kind of decisions lol

[@colleens1107]

Story one: I went into this thinking why can’t they just celebrate it another weekend but then I saw that SHE CHOSE THAT WEEK HERSELF. WHAT? Seriously? And it’s the first anniversary? Well fuck this isn’t good

[@catlover2223]

Yeah, who wants to bet that guy in Story 3 had no intention of actually paying his half of the rent and just planned on OP paying all of it?

[@phoenix6930]

Last story: I expect the update to say ex-boyfriend.

[@laurameier7069]

Sstory 3: If the Corvette is a 2024 it starts at $68K. 😮

[@poppycopter]

story 2: what a familiar experience. my ex insisted on having an open relationship, but then got horribly upset when i was the one making out with a random dude.

[@MMKMoore1]

Story 2 - Yeah, the marriage was over when she asked to open it. An open "marriage" just means permission to cheat without guilt. Isn't interesting how the one who asks is always the one to get jealous when the other person starts enjoying their own successful relationship? Divorce is the only way now. Story 3 - OP made the right choice to not move in together, but she needs to break up with him. Of course the car purchase was her business, especially since he asked her to cover his rental deposit, FFS! He's not going to change his spending habits, not when he thinks he has a safety net. I would have dumped him after he asked me for a loan for rent, then delayed paying me back. I just divorced a deadbeat who is now struggling to hold even a minimum wage job, after years of him leeching off me (he didn't even hold up his end of household duties, because he hated the thought of being a "househusband"!).

[@tatkkyo9911]

Good afternoon Mark

[@xbanmanx1]

S2, "please don't threaten me with a good time", should be ops first thoughts

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - It seems like OP's wife is always chasing the next new or better thing around the next corner. She wanted open marriage. He gave it. She realized he was working and paying bills off, and she wanted a new house and a new car. He said no. She is never going to be happy no matter what OP does or doesn't do or buys or doesn't buy. He is well rid of this idiot and go along happily with Jane and getting his kids most?, part?, of the time.

[@jennilynne1977]

Hey Mark and Waffle Gang! I hope everyone is having a great day/afternoon/night! Peace ☮️, hugs 🤗 and love 😘!

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

S1: sounds like wife ditched Regina George irl

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3: NTA. You covered his part of the security deposit because his broke a$$ couldn’t afford it due to buying a car more than half of his annual salary of $70k. Which leads me to this: do you really want a man who is constantly spending his salary, most could live comfortably on while saving a lot of it) on useless and unneeded wants on a whim and make you pick up his slacking on his essentials such as rent and security deposits!? No, find yourself a partner that knows how and when to spend and save their money (cheapskates are just as bad as they barely meet bare minimums to save a few cents a year

[@jenniferhanses]

Re: Counselors "siding" with people in couple's counseling There's two options to that. 1) The Counselor really is siding with one person or another, either because of ideology (This is why, say Christian or other religiously affiliated people aren't usually degree holding professionals, since an actual counselor has to not push you toward an ideology and won't squash ideas that you have that are outside your ideology, but encourage you to explore them so that you understand why you're having those thoughts and feelings) or because of something unethical (there's stories of counselors who broke up couples to date the other half of the couple, for example). 2) The Counselor is not choosing sides, but one side is so inherently right that the wrong person feels that the counselor is choosing sides (example from my sister and BIL,: Sis would like BIL to complete important tasks on time. She talked to him without a counselor. She's talked to him with a counselor. She's tried daily planners and schedule books. She is up for trying anything reasonable to get her partner to be reliable about things like picking their kid up from the bus stop (if you can imagine a 6 year old waiting at a parking lot for hours with dad not showing up). I don't think I'm being biased towards my sister to say that she's doing all the work because she can't trust her partner with any tasks from childcare to folding laundry. And she's also the regional head of the company she works for, so she's a busy lady . Does my sister have areas she needs to work on ? Yeah. Her temper. But given the amount of aggravation she's getting, the counselors tend to focus on BIL sitting around the house and doing nothing after a day at work or on his days off.

[@TheOddityFair]

S3 - Leave him. He is not reliable nor honest, & he won’t make for a good partner long term. Also-not saying the BF does, b/c he doesn’t-but just b/c you have “spendin’ money” doesn’t mean you have to use it. You take care of the bills, insurance, utilities, groceries, rent, etc, etc. before you do anything else. Not only is a “weekend car” not something you need, it’s not something you buy on a whim. He’s delusional & living beyond his means.

[@stolman2197]

Story 2 he's not a husband he's an ATM