My Wife Keeps Tying Up My Work Boots Before Bed And It's Driving Me Insane r/Relationships

[@SouthernBell86]

You know what I realized upsets me about this story? The man being an EMT shouldn't matter. He should have the right to store his boots the way he wants in an appropriate location in their home. If he wants to store them in the closet with the strings untied, there should not be any further explanation needed since this will not inconvenience his partner in any fashion.

[@Snowshowslow]

But it does matter... Yes, he should have the right to not have his shoes tied in the closet if he doesn't want that, but it would be a very minor issue if that was all there was to it. Given that time is of such importance in this case that lives depend on it, that raises the stakes enormously and so that matters.

[@SouthernBell86]

@@Snowshowslow You seem to be intentionally misunderstanding me. What I am saying is that before we get to *why* it is already a problem because she keeps going out of her way to do something he has asked her not to do. Her behavior is not ok even if it was just a matter of preference for him. If she can only respect his boundaries when someone's life is on the line that is a big problem.

[@Snowshowslow]

@@SouthernBell86 I am not intentionally misunderstanding you, I just think that 1) you are right that even without lives at stake this would be an issue, but 2) the issue is magnified immensely by the lives at stake. My partner doesn't always treat my books with the same care I do. That's annoying and I should have the right to have my property respected, but it's something I can overlook. If the stakes were similar to those here I would be out the door without looking back. So in my opinion it does matter in the end.

[@jimmyjohnjuan]

@@Snowshowslow I disagree. The issue is that, this effects all aspects of there life from the boots to papers to key on the night stand. that are important on the desk. I would bet other situations as well. Asking you partern not do something that is bothering you and they consistently not do or not care how you feel, is a problem. A marriage has to be worked all day every day. She wasn't doing her part.

[@okyep]

Volunteer EMT Weird hobby to have but I guess someone gotta do it

[@kbf9644]

After OP describes all the places he has hid his shoes it’s clear the wife is hunting them down specifically to tie them at that point. Other than a therapist I don’t think there’s anything OP can do or say to make her understand and stop. ETA after he mentions hiding a locker, hiding his keys, etc. This is premeditated fuckery. She needs help or OP needs to leave.

[@LayfonDragnia]

Yeah, for me it was like she was told no and took it as a personal challenge.

[@rogerrabbit80]

Maybe OP should start messing her stuff up to give her something to keep her busy. ETA - He did it, and she didn't like it a bit.

[@Ayimii]

Or just off this woman to spare everyone else from her dumbarse. I hope she doesn't procreate.

[@geckokid8265]

I like the phrase "premeditated fuckery"

[@D-Dollie]

@@geckokid8265 me too. I would definitely use that

[@2p-blog-thing]

The op’s wife has a very concerning attitude. Both how nonchalant she is about what she had done, as well as using op’s final straw snapping at her against him to forgive herself for everything.

[@kittie479]

It’s not just that. Him shouting at her out of frustration which she knows is due to what she did (and him repeatedly saying to stop) made her think he was going to hit her? When he’s never done that? And the crying abt not being able to get her shoes on and run at her usual time. Those are serious over reactions

[@79mib]

Girl doesn’t have OCD, girl just has a fundamental disrespect for anyone who doesn’t give her her way.

[@rubymeaddle]

She has obsessive compulsive disorder so of course she's not having a rational reaction here

[@79mib]

@@rubymeaddle based on what, Doc?

[@rubymeaddle]

@@79mib Her insistence on routine, odd habits regarding personal property and the property of others, her reaction when the routine was disturbed. Everyone thinks OCD is scrubbing down surfaces when it really often manifests like the wife's behavior. Her manipulative behavior is actually another part of the disorder: she's justifying her mental illness by removing fault. I fully support OP giving her the ultimatum: therapy and a diagnosis or divorce.

[@johnowen9349]

Right off the bat, she lied to him about her reaction. Getting up, stalking to the bathroom, and slamming the door isn't a scared reaction. It's an angry reaction. She wasn't scared of him, she didn't think he was going to hit her. That lie is where she would have found herself single with me. Her tendency to consider an apology to mean a complete and total admission of guilt is borderline insane. Not kookie, not quirky, actual insane. What kind of absolute narcissist thinks in such absolute terms? Oh, but the EMT saying lives depend on him is hyperbolic, right? What idiocy.

[@JSainte17]

She's a manipulative psycho. And I do not believe for a second that outside of this, their marriage is totally great. EDIT: I'm so glad commenters said the same thing.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

@@JSainte17 You forget OCD exists. Which like being psychotic, is a mental issue and shows a lot of the same issues we're told here.

[@Cel3ere5]

I don't buy the OCD. I have a sneaking feeling OP tipped his hand about a possibility of OCD and she just ran with it. She's got too many red flags that something deeper and more nefarious is going on. From flipping the script on the blame game, to lying about leaving the damn boots alone, to the complete black and white terms of a total admission of guilty that is stacked in her favor, to basically needing 'shock treatment' from the cop buddy, "omg I didn't know your job was so important" What adult on the planet doesn't have a vague understanding of what an EMERGENCY medical technician does? And what idiot in America doesn't understand what Narcan is? Opioid epidemic has been on for like, a decade. You have to have your head deliberately up your ass when your partner works in the medical field in order to not be aware of that. Which, OP stated he doesn't talk about work because he doesn't want to give her nightmares? I'd bet money she doesn't even ask. Being told how many times "lives are on the line" and she blew OP off - and in fact, doubled down with her nonsense? She's a psychopath. She has zero empathy. Too bad she didn't have the brains behind her to get into the med field. No, I don't consider her very bright. She's above Reddit's pay grade where basically OCD, ADD, Depression, Anxiety, and the Autism Spectrum Disorder are pretty much the zenith of their understanding of anything psych related. And, let's not forget the big important part: that bitch almost killed someone. OP needs to run from this woman.

[@Woodie-xq1ew]

@@Splatoon_Kirby yes it does exist except that doesn’t remotely account for how dismissive she was of his boundaries. If anything I would expect people with OCD to be more understanding that people need things done or left in a specific way

[@ChrisAndCats]

@@Splatoon_Kirby I have OCD. And I think she's wrong. There's ways around compulsions but this is a different thing.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: Wife needs to leave those boots alone…… she literally said she was so scared of her husband’s anger she was afraid he was going to hit her. Even really hammering the damsel in distress act when they finally talked. Why the hell did she go back and mess with those boots again?! LEAVE THE BOOTS ALONE!

[@WobblesandBean]

She's playing the classic narcissist move of reverse victim. She's the one who refused to do the simplest of requests cuz she doesn't respect her husband whatsoever. Then when her arrogance inevitably causes the very thing OP told her would happen, she insists SHE'S the victim, then makes OP practically get down on his hands and knees to beg forgiveness when SHE'S the one who wronged HIM! OP needs to wake up and see the monster he's married to.

[@flavialm1]

Because If she has a mental issue like OCD then is stronger then her. I had as a child and would get stuck hitting my arm on the wall sometimes to the point it would get bruised but I couldn't stop. Medication and treatment can help or full on reverse like in my case.

[@tieardragon4919]

If she refuses treatment I would leave. She just doesn’t give a sh*t about her husband and people he is saving. She sounds like a b*tch that will never take any responsibility for her actions.

[@RobDaCajun]

@@flavialm1 exactly this.

[@VesnaVK]

@@flavialm1 this isn't about OCD. There are too many other abusive behaviors. It all adds up to narcissistic abuse.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I hate when people on Reddit say we have a great relationship otherwise. Story 1 is an absolutely horrible relationship. She has no respect or regard for him.

[@Russman67]

Exactly. This is not a great relationship. She's baiting him, falling back and playing victim when he's angry.

[@BenKonosky]

It is actually much worse than that. She has no regard for anyone other than herself. She knows lives are on the line because her husband keeps telling her. She will kill someone if this keeps up.

[@Russman67]

@@BenKonosky But don't worry. It'll be OP's fault.

[@Cel3ere5]

I have a friend, where years ago I was there to witness a bad break up to the point I was helping him pack. We talked about it later and he started off, "She's a good person, but..." I cut him off, "No, I watched that ship go down too. No, she isn't." So, if someone has to start a sentence off that way, the person usually isn't what most would describe as good. =_= How bad was she? Well in the same conversation I was slightly tipsy as it dawned on me two things. • One, the only reason why we could hang out was because at the time, I had a boyfriend and was thus spoken for. • Two, she cut him off from friends and by proxy me too. I was "Team Boyfriend" and thus had to go. • Side story, she basically told everyone I told her how to raise her kid. She got upset at her mom, and took it out on her son by being extremely rude and sarcastic. In seeing that little face just... frown and eyes instantly brim with tears, I whispered "Erin (fake), Dont do that..." She told my then bf, who in turned weaponized it against me in a later argument, again "trying to tell other people how to raise their children". Oh? Did you mean when this situation happened? Got that definitely now ex (for many other reasons too) to stfu, as he loves that kid, even though it's not his son, and they've never been together either.

[@horsepuncher95]

I feel like he said that because this might be the only point of contention in their relationship. It seems like this issue was pretty negligble for him until now it's finally escalated. He might now be starting to realise how deep her problem runs.

[@Kzinix]

OP's wife is lucky to be married to one of the most patient people out there. She sounds incredibly annoying and exhausting. I admire OP's gentle approach, but I also found it frustrating because she honestly deserved to get yelled at. You can feel that he's walking on eggshells when he's explaining things to her, even though she's completely in the wrong. Don't apologize for standing up to her when she's being unreasonable.

[@VesnaVK]

Sadly, the wife is lucky, and the husband is unlucky. She has lots of fuel for her narcissism. He is an entrapped victim.

[@The.S.M.Evans.91]

OP isn't wrong - when you keep trying to explain something to someone nicely, and the person you're speaking just disregards the point you're trying to make, eventually, you're going to stop being nice. Good for OP for giving his wife a taste of her own medicine!

[@The.S.M.Evans.91]

@@thecrowuknow Exactly!

[@shells500tutubo]

When what you are saying happens, then you should just kick them to the curb, because for them the basis of a relationship is them disrespecting you and then gaslighting you when you call them on it.

[@The.S.M.Evans.91]

@@shells500tutubo Unfortunately, some people only learn from experience. There are plenty of people who dish it out, but they're mad when they're on the receiving end. Sometimes it pays to be the bigger person, but you can't always be the bigger person, because some people will disregard the point you're trying to make while losing respect for you at the same time.

[@rogerrabbit80]

@@The.S.M.Evans.91 When wifey went off on him about the running shoes, he should've turned on the waterworks and told her how afraid he was that she was going to attack him. After all, that's what she claimed when he went off on her.

[@The.S.M.Evans.91]

@@rogerrabbit80 Right! 😂

[@saldiven2009]

First story: Wife's reaction was manipulative as crap. She deliberately does something he's asked her over and over again to not do with explanations for why he made the request. Then, when he gets mad, she throws on the tears to manipulate him to apologize for something she did wrong. I don't think this is OCD or anything like that, I think it's controlling and manipulative.

[@bun04y]

I agree. I got the feeling that the wife is afraid of OP's job being dangerous and is tying the boots up to keep him from going on the call to keep him safe. I mean why else would she be hunting for the boots and tying them up? And who ties shoes after taking them off? NOBODY! You leave them untied and open to air them out so they don't trap in foot odor.

[@shells500tutubo]

Bingo! Drama queen.

[@robertx8020]

I agree she is crazy ...and it is not like she wants to iron his underwear ..she is stopping him from getting to an emergency And then ask stupid question during stress? I would have exploded too!

[@zebnemma]

I have OCD and I think the wife does not have OCD. I think she is a psycho that likes to torment her husband. She sees how much he cares about saving lifes, and she gets sick joy out of seeing her husband distraught when she sabotages his boots and him getting stressed that someone might die over the delay... I seriously doubt she has OCD she sounds like a twisted person that thrives on causing others pain, stress, distress... Red flags are waving everywhere in this story!!!!!!!! Yes OCD is a bitch and make you feel like you "have to do things" but even so if I knew peoples lifes are at stake I would have to accept that and manage my OCD with the boots. Either that or they could come to some middleground that they agree the husband leaves his shoes elsewhere so the wifes OCD doesn't get triggered by them.

[@personneici2595]

She explained later that she has trauma from violent exes. She needs therapy for that and the compulsive behaviour around "cleaning" and ignoring his boundaries.

[@shannonbullock2202]

OP's wife did NOT think he was gonna hit her!! She's manipulating him, using his reaction to focus on HIM BEING WRONG instead of her. She is 100% wrong and now even MORE WRONG

[@The.S.M.Evans.91]

Exactly!!!

[@personneici2595]

She has trauma from violent exes, he said in an update, she may have gone into flight or flight mode from him raising his voice for the first time ever. She needs therapy.

[@trillionbones89]

now you are just exagerating. domestic violence leaves victims scared and her reaction fits. not every emotional stage is manipulation you sociopath. reddit has warped your brain.

[@jamestomlin5525]

That pissed me off to no end, so you wanting respect and boundaries equates to you wanting to hit her? Throw that bish to the curb

[@HidroVenus]

She didn't even apologize for making him be late when answering the call. She´s a MASTER manipulator who need therapy ASAP.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: She fucked around and found out then had the audacity to go "You scared me 🥺 I thought you were gonna hit me 🥺 I never knew you could get that angry 🥺 *pout pout sniff sniff single tear*" like, ma'am he literally told you people's _lives were on the line_ and you _rolled your eyes_ and said he was being "overdramatic". He has every right to be _livid_ when you went out of your way to do something that he has begged you several times to stop doing due to the gravity of the situation. Either get some help for your blatant issues or accept the fact that Op's gonna leave cause you won't listen and get your shit together. Edit: "I'll _never_ touch your boots again cause then you'll overreact and I'll be afraid and I don't want to live like that" _does it again that same damn day then has an absolute temper tantrum and screams at him the next morning cause she can't go on her run_

[@msredux]

If I ask something of my partner and they laugh and tell me "you know how I am" I would be furious with reason, I would not be begging them to please hear me out, get help or I'm out

[@Julienna]

"You know, how I am." is a typical narcissistic reply. Emphatic person would say "I am sorry, I will not do it again."

[@ChrisMaxfieldActs]

@@Julienna Empathetic. Emphatic means something else, entirely. The OP was emphatic that his wife must stop hiding and lacing his boots. He wishes his wife was more empathetic, so she would care about the feelings of others.

[@KCCAT5]

Yeah that was such a Cavalier response. That's kind of like the lines of boys will be boys! UGH!

[@atinyevil1383]

I remember this one. If IP had jumped straight to yelling and taking her shoe laces, that would be one thing. But OP has tolder her several times to knock it off and she won't. She knows how important this is to him, she understands that his job is important. But she still does this.

[@robertx8020]

she doens't CARE.. she has proven that her feelings and rules are the ONLY thing that matter to her! PPl dying? Her husband stressed out? Who cares! It's me me me me ... Selfish b***

[@plantemor]

She's a selfish b. Narcissist.

[@kratkartan1486]

"I didn't know you were capable of blowing up like that." Either she's lying, or she's naive. EVERYONE can and will blow up like that when they are under stress. I've done it many times. Usually over issues that should have been resolved after me telling someone to stop doing something they know is bothering me.

[@bbjjbb61]

My daughter is in an abusive marriage. A few days ago, after months and months of nonstop gaslighting, verbal abuse, etc she lost her shit and physically attacked him. She has never once in all her life just attacked someone. In her case it's called reactive abuse and it's a result of being constantly badgered and bullied and belittled. It's now clear he's an actual narcissist but my daughter is out of the relationship for now. You are absolutely correct. Anyone can be pushed too far and it is incredibly naive to think a person could never lose their shit.

[@literallycringeidk360]

@@bbjjbb61 I was a very gentle child. But after being touched inappropriately by the same person multiple times, asking them again and again not to do so, them agreeing yet doing it again, I was very close to attacking him with a pencil. Everyone is capable of pushing back.

[@greyscalesx]

She's litteraly an ADULT. why did she need a PowerPoint presentation and a colleague vouching for OP to realise, EMT's aren't called out for cats in trees ? Even if lives didn't depend on it, why does him asking repeatedly, not make her understand, that she's not helping? He SAID TO YOU already ; you are hindering him. Why do you keep acting as if it's news to you, with the 'but I am helping' ?? B are you thick ? Or do you always think you know better ??? Why does he need to beg you and placate you like a child for you not to be dismissive? Also the whole 'an apology means you admit everything you did was wrong'...that's absolutely not OCD. Don't what she got on top of it, but it sounds alot like covert narcissism.

[@Julienna]

She acted like she suddenly got it, because there was the friend, another person in the room. If they were only two of them, she would probably laugh at the presentation... But not in front of a witness. She needs to look like an emphatic person and a good wife - keep a good public image.

[@Cel3ere5]

@@Julienna Spot on. I'm thinking convert too.

[@zebnemma]

Exactly!!! She's playing dumb so she doesn't have to admit she was wrong. You shouldn't have to show pictures of car wrecks and have a colleague explain to the wife what they are doing at work. It's already obvious what they are doing at work! They shouldn't even have to explain it!!! Should a fireman need to show pictures of burning buildings and burnt corpses to explain what they do at work too???? She's so manipulative throughout the whole story! My ex and my brother was always playing dumb like this. I had to explain them things a million times and they still kept doing it. Until I realized they were playing dumb to manipulate me... For a while I started wondering if my brother in particular had low IQ for real so he had me fooled hard. And then her sudden "AHA" moment when OP sat her down and explained it with PICTURES, WITH A COWORKER... Yeah she couldn't bring herself to play dumb at that point cuz how could she possibly? I promise you tho she will go back to disrespecting OP within a month, a few weeks of her acting like a caring wife just enough for OP to start trusting her again and then BAM. She will claim she forgot. My ex always pulled the "I forgot" on me when he would do that crap!

[@ChrisAndCats]

As someone with ocd, I'm quite capable of knowing right from wrong, of logical thought and of finding work-arounds for things. Its a compulsion, it doesnt take your adult brain away (the fact she needed that presentation and the friend/officer to explain)! For instance, if it's the fact they're unlaced that's causing the compulsion, placing them elsewhere out of immediate sight (like he tried) or in a shoe box (like he tried) would solve it so the lacing isn't in her view. It also wouldnt have anything to do with her shoes. There's something else going on here that isn't ocd.

[@Cel3ere5]

@@ChrisAndCats I agree. I've got my moments, spells, and spirals. I've got my hang ups, but like an adult I communicate them. "Outta sight, outta mind". Reddit only understands "Fancy OCD", and this isn't it. Reddit, in broad terms, understands Depression, Anxiety, Autism Spectrum Disorders just barely (they can't tell the difference between other personality disorders and the common grounds they share...), ADD, Narcissism, and maybe Borderline. There was a story a bit ago where a guy left his wife who didn't leave her house or socialize or anything and Reddit was convinced she was depressed. They like, forgot agoraphobia is thing... So stupid.

[@joeschmo622]

Nah, nah, nah. That chick's damaged goods. She doesn't just tie his boots Because They're There; she goes on a hunting expedition to *FIND* them and tie them. Screwing with his notes and desk in general, hiding his keys, etc., that's all *deliberate* and she's doing that quite purposely. Then promises she'll stop and does it *again* that same night? Nah. She needs more than therapy. She needs to be at least threatened with divorce if she doesn't stop, possible follow-through later.

[@Julienna]

Seems rather like a power play or some other kind of narcissistic/psychopathic behaviors. Not OCD.

[@rubymeaddle]

@@Julienna learn what a comorbidity is

[@littleflame5530]

The fact that OPs wife doesn't acknowledge he is an emt sounds like she sees the volunteer job as a fantasy. She is trying to force him to loose the job. Because if she doesn't do this to her own shoes proves this point.

[@rubymeaddle]

She does do that to her shoes, were you listening to OP? He said he unlaced them then removed the laces. They were clearly tied.

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@rubymeaddle Just because the laces are in the shoes doesn't mean they're tied. OP said nothing about untying her laces, just unlacing the shoes and taking out the laces, coiling them up, and putting them in her shoes.

[@rubymeaddle]

@@bunnyslippers191 He did though... you just weren't listening 🤷‍♀️ you do understand UNLACING the shoes is a synonym for UNTIEING right? You literally say the unlacing and removal of the laces are two different actions.

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@rubymeaddle Unlacing shoes means taking the laces out of the little holes. He took the laces out of her shoes and rolled them up in little pinwheels, then put the rolled up laces inside her shoes. Unlacing is *not* a synonym for untying. I listened *and freaking *read it* along with him. Go back and listen again. Untying refers to undoing a knot, in this case the bow knot at the top of the shoe laces. Unlacing means taking the laces out of the holes in the shoes. Go find a dictionary and see for yourself.

[@srkh8966]

@@rubymeaddle they are tho

[@twodeciliters4909]

so OP isn’t allowed to raise his voice after she repeatedly goes out of her way to go against him for no reason, but she’s allowed to scream at him for a childish revenge prank? yeah makes toooootal sense🙄🙄(/s) she 100% knows what she’s doing.

[@lottalarsson4121]

This is not only OCD. She is disregarding what he wants and what other people need. Then her running shoes are ready to jump into, but he is not allowed to do it with his essential emergency boots.

[@VesnaVK]

It's not OCD, period.

[@lottalarsson4121]

@@VesnaVK I lifted the behaviour that makes it much less likely, that it is OCD. And for this you think I am less and need to be chastised. Does such behaviour,makes you feel good?

[@threeducks157]

Back when me and wife then gf first moved in we had a similar issue, she kept "tidying up" my desk, and as a programmer it irritated me to no end when things were moved and sticky notes were thrown out. One day she accidentally threw out a tiny USB stick that had part of a security program I was working on for my cybesecuruty side business(now main business) and I got into a little bit of hot water for missing a dateline, after she saw me sleep deprived stressed and in pure agony she realized how serious what she was doing was, and with the help of a therapist we thankfully overcame that hurdle.

[@kittie479]

Who throws out post it notes at a work station and a thumb drive? Who does that? Who!!!!

[@jasoncarter4343]

So, instead of making her experience the consequences of her bad behavior, you got to enjoy the consequences of her bad behavior. You really showed her.

[@KittenLove536]

@@jasoncarter4343 She saw him suffering for her decisions and came to the logical solution of "i fucked up." This OP didnt need to get revenge, because watching him put out her fire was thankfully enough of a wake up call for her and they went to therapy. You wanna be mad at someone? Be mad at the wife in the story from the video.

[@judyjohnson9610]

In my old age, I have come to the conclusion that if you are co-habiting, each person should be able to have a small "hands-off " space. This could avoid the above scenario

[@jasoncarter4343]

@@KittenLove536 I'm not mad at anyone. It's common knowledge women will not love a man they do not respect. I would say throwing away a vital thumb drive is a fairly high form of disrespect.

[@jamestown8398]

STORY #1 At this point I think wife is doing it on purpose. Her tying OP's boots is a power-play, a way to assert dominance over OP. Her reactions when OP yelled at her, and then when he untied her running shoes, proves that to me. Don't give in. Make it clear to wife that her messing with the boots is *not* acceptable, and that silent treatment won't get her way this time. Demand couple's counseling, and that she see someone about whatever mental illness is causing her to act like this. UPDATE It sounds like OP got through to wife. I hope she actually does go to therapy, and that she gets the help she needs.

[@huinismith]

This "how many times have I got to tell you not to touch my shit" story sent me over the edge. OP's wife sounds unhinged. I don't know, maybe it's the PTSD talking.

[@CarinaCoffee]

I remember that story. I found it so frustrating what the wife did. Really hope they'll get some help, also for things like how when OP apologises about how he behaves that that doesn't automatically mean he was in the wrong overall.

[@JJerseyGirl]

1st story- Not being able to go on your daily run is not a life or death situation as being late on a EMT call.

[@WobblesandBean]

Story#1 is an old one. I'm glad OP's wife finally got the hint regarding the boots, but it never should have gotten to that point. Frankly, I think OP should leave her. She not only disrespects him and refuses to honor even the simplest request (while throwing a tantrum by saying she's refusing to clean up after him at all in retaliation against him for asking something as insignificant as simply leaving his boots alone), but her OCD is a huge problem, yet she refuses to even acknowledge it's a problem at all, let alone see a therapist for it. She is a classic narcissist, and she will only keep getting worse. She pulled the classic DARVO move on OP, making him grovel for forgiveness when SHE'S the one who wronged HIM! And given her histrionics when OP gave her the tiniest little taste of her own medicine, it's clear that she's got a toxic personality and is emotionally abusive. This poor man needs to _RUN._

[@pumpkintartable]

This whole story should have just been, "Could you leave my boots alone please?" "Okay."

[@arianebolt1575]

Shouldn't have been a story at all, really

[@icantbeliveitisnot]

I don't kown that a story has ever made me this angry. I'm literally shaking with a want to hunt this woman down and show her some actual yelling. My husband is a volunteer firefighter and ems/ first responder. He has a very similar role as the man in this story. When a call comes out, he responds to many different emergencies. Fire, auto accidents, heart attack and stroke, school lockdowns, and water rescue (even ice water, as we live in Minnesota). These people are the backbone of small town America. They are the reason we have emergency services available. My husband keeps an entire outfit right by the door, so as a call comes out at night, he can dress and run. There are literally pants, shirt, socks, underwear, belt, and boots sitting in my mud room right now. Does it look messy and a bit weird? Absolutely, but if i ever had anyone ask about it, i would explain it in a few words. Seconds actually do save lives. We have had countless events interrupted because he went out on a call. Both of our birthdays, Christmas, 4th of July. We've canceled dates, he's missed concerts, and events for the kiddos in our family. When people have positions like these, the entire family has roles they play, and things they sacrifice. Many times my husband had taken the most convenient car. Sometimes his is buried. He has literally jumped into friends cars to get their faster. We just follow with his, and swap it out if we need too. This woman doesn't have OCD. She is a narcissist who is endangering people's lives. I would bet money this has way more to do with the fact that she doesn't like he spends so much time away from her, and she has been inconvenienced by his heroism. The fact that he has tried to hide his boots, lock them up, and she still finds them and messes with them, after repeatedly being ask not to says this is vindictive. I would bet money something important to her was "ruined" by one of his calls and she has been spiteful ever since.

[@thatone6597]

His wife is being really childish and needs to grow up

[@Callimo]

It's gotta be a mental issue. It's very telling that she will go above and beyond to tie those goddamn boots no matter where they are. But at least she promised to go to therapy.

[@AllHopeIsLost1134]

There reaches a point where asking nice needs to stop, and standing your ground becomes necessary.

[@AFAskygoddess]

1st story: OPS wife is a passive/ aggressive b!tch. It's only going to get worse. He needs to bail on this marriage.

[@fhuber7507]

1... OP needs to sell the wife... I expected him to come back and say the patient died due to delay in getting to the scene. Wife deserved THAT level of shame.

[@fhuber7507]

"You know how I am" = the person saying they are allowed to be an A$$hat forever and you just have to put up with it.

[@Because-rt8qs]

She would never feel shame. Unfortunately, he would feel ashamed of failing. She would feel justified in tying the boots.

[@srkh8966]

I’m so glad others pointed out what a truly messed up relationship OP has, and while it seems like it’s going the right direction-from the update-I’d be very surprised if if this actually had a happy ending.

[@jlyo1991]

OP’s wife rolling her eyes, commenters saying it’s not a matter of life or death, what the hell do they think an EMT does? I doubt they’d be saying that crap if he was a volunteer firefighter.

[@simac8396]

OP is way to patient, sometimes anger and frustration is fully justified.

[@ItsYaBoiV]

If First OP's wife doesn't have a severe case of OCD I'd be amazed. Gotta love the hypocrisy of her losing it over her own recreational shoes being undone, but his WORK SHOES are fair game cuz lol he's not doing anything important like responding to emergencies.

[@rubymeaddle]

It's not hypocrisy in the mind of a person with the disorder. She cannot function without them being tied therefore to her, no one can. She needs to get her butt to a psychiatrist or OP needs to ask her to leave.

[@KE-hr4sb]

(Disclaimer: not done with the story yet) Your wife is gaslighting you. Storming out of the room and slamming the bathroom door are NOT the actions of someone that is "scared you will hit them;" she was angry, not scared. (Trust me, I know from experience.) Not only that, but the silent treatment is abuse. She is literally messing with people's lives. While it may seem like she's "just being OCD," she's not. The gaslighting and emotional abuse are HUGE red flags, as is her lack of caring about your feelings or other people's lives. This would be a deal-breaker for me. I'm sorry, maybe it's me being petty, but I thought the running shoe thing was pretty poetic justice. Her reaction is exactly how you reacted, but instead of it opening her eyes and making her realize that's how she made you feel, she's emotionally manipulating you again. Yikes, dude. Run, don't walk. The lengths she goes to, to find your shoes and tie them, move your items somewhere "safe" (without telling you she moved them and where), etc, tells me that this isn't about keeping things "neat" so much as having things her way/exerting control. ETA after the last update: While I hope things work out for OP, maybe I'm jaded, but I'm still skeptical: 1) I found it very telling he had to ask her (multiple times!) not to belittle, scoff, and roll her eyes. That, as well as the way he apologizes for getting angry at something SHE'S doing, plus her attitude about "you apologized so I must be right"? He's acting like a man in an abusive relationship. 2) I still don't buy her "you scared me" line. Slamming and stomping is anger, not fear; and if she was really afraid of him, she would have been scared to "provoke" him with the silent treatment. 3) Moving his things *to random locations* isn't "keeping things neat." She's not keeping things in the same place every time, which means she's making it as inconvenient and difficult for him to find as possible. That suggests it amuses her/she likes the control. 4) If she was really "keeping things neat" as she claimed, she would do the same to HER running shoes. But no, she can sacrifice neatness on HER things when she wants to get out the door quickly. If it was truly a compulsion, she'd have to do it to her things as well as yours. 5) The "she's worried about me going out on calls/the other day she started crying and said, I hope you know I appreciate what you do"? Maybe I'm just grumpy, but that felt manipulative to me. Why is she worried about him? In my (limited) experience, being an EMT is stressful but not dangerous; HE'S not the one in the accident, going in when people are shooting, pulling people out of burning buildings, etc. They show up *after* the shit has finished going down. It just felt, to me, like she thought maybe he was going to leave her over this, and she's trying to backpedal. Again, I could just be hot and grumpy (stupid heat wave and broken AC isn't helping my temper).

[@bunnyslippers191]

Yep, I think you are exactly right. I know two people with moderate to serious OCD and others who have mild OCD and they have a place for everything and everything in its place. There's no suddenly changing where things are, let alone moving them to completely random rooms. And, by golly, it had better be in the *exact* place where it's supposed to be, not a quarter of an inch to the right, the left, forward, or backward or its position will be adjusted. Every towel in the bathroom is hanging perfectly in line with the towel next to it. The green towels belong in the downstairs bathroom and the blue towels go in the upstairs bathroom and if someone else puts the green ones upstairs and the blue ones downstairs that will be corrected just as soon as they see it, even though both bathrooms have both blue and green paint/wallpaper/whatever. ( the towel colors are just an example, they could be any colors or even have a pattern, but certain towels will go in certain bathrooms and no where else) *All* the dishes are washed immediately after every meal, dried, and put away before anything else is done, table wiped, the place mats put away and the floor swept. And all the dish towels and dish cloths will be color coordinated with the kitchen. All the pictures are hanging straight and they *will*hang straight, even if they will only hang straight if there's both a nail and poster putty involved. If the person decides to redecorate that's one thing, but randomly moving stuff all over the house so other people can't find it? No, that's *not* going to happen. This sounds more like someone is deliberately messing with OP just to mess with him, control him, and make him miserable. Wife didn't show any signs of really doing anything until a third party got involved, the police officer who talked about how important OP is and the good he does for other people. Then the photos really topped it off. Wife is now aware that 1) Other people know about her behavior and it's no longer just OP and her who know, and 2) OP is a moderately big deal in the life saving department and well respected by other first responders and her status and reputation are in danger of taking damage if she doesn't quit her shit.

[@harrypotter2700]

@@bunnyslippers191 I think that it is possible that she may have OCD as it manifests differently in different people. One person’s fixations might be about everything needing to feel “right” and that version of right might include being overly neat or overly clean, but on the other hand someone’s version of right means hanging onto things because getting rid of them doesn’t feel right. It’s actually fairly common for people with OCD to have hoarding tendencies. That being said, OCD or not, her behaviour isn’t excusable and she’s being intensely manipulative with her attitude towards OP and how she expects him to react to her sabotaging his work routine. Also, I don’t doubt at all that the people you mentioned knowing have OCD, I just wanted to mention that it’s not always presented the same way since a lot of messy people with extreme OCD may not realize it since the more neat people tend to get support/recognition in comparison. Have a nice day :)

[@Cel3ere5]

No I'm with you 120% and equally pissed. Patients of mine were or are ex addicts. I lost friends. Narcan saves lives. Narcan is used mostly on young people. She could have potential destroyed someone her age or younger's life... Over fucking shoes?! The audacity of it all makes my blood boil. If someone touched my desk, my procedure rooms, my OR, or worse, my crash cart, I'd skin them. Reality land is, after I do something I rarely do - scream at them - I'd be filing whatever complaint I could with Staffing. It's detrimental for anyone on the medical field to go "now where did I put..." Everything has to be in it's place. Everything is muscle memory. You're gonna be thinking way deeper thoughts on other stuff. And, OP is damn good at his job. He cares. He looks, he evaluates the situation calmly and completely. I know legitimate psychopaths who take directions easier and have more respect than she does. And that's on the medical side. As having an SO, I leave their shit alone unless I need something - to which I text or call to give them a heads up. I hate touching their desk but they just let scraps accumulate. If they tell me to not do something, "sure babe, sorry if I upset you earlier." The disrespect she has is intolerable to me. Does this person have friends???

[@Cel3ere5]

@@bunnyslippers191 I'm wondering if OP presented the idea of OCD and she went yeah, definitely, as a way to excuse her egregious behavior - because now they have an audience. That cop friend might know something extra and he's being too kindly in not sharing with OP. That whole... presentation and everything? That took time to organize and prepare. Normal people don't over prepare like that. He knows something...

[@PinkMarshmallows]

@@Cel3ere5 I think you're spot on. Cops do have instincts for DV. They always have to be on the look out in case it gets really bad and someone winds up dead.

[@LayfonDragnia]

So, she dismisses his feelings entirely, uses manipulation tactics when called out, and finally has the audacity to yell at HIM for giving her a slap of reality? It was one thing to tie them all the time but to seek them out is like a child doing something when told no. It took so much effort to get it through her head that she was in the wrong.

[@TheHairiestPotter]

So in order for her, an adult woman, to understand, recognize, and change her behavior she needed to be sat down like a child by an authority figure and explained why time matters in the medical field?? Also him calling her these little pet names like sweetie sounds like he's infantalizing her which is further enabling her behavior. These situations are only going to build further resentment and end in a very messy divorce that I hope OP is ready for.

[@DarkAngel65989]

I rememver hearing about the story, the wife may have something with keeping them neat in a sense or she isn't taking OP word seriously

[@rockfan243]

Op " we have such a good relationship " Also OP "Aytime I apologize for anything my wife thinks it means she was not in the wrong at all and I have to take all the blame " ........yah sounds good......

[@browniewin4121]

OP is married to someone who is a danger, manipulative, selfish, disrespectful, and totally gaslighting him. Stop trying to reason with the unreasonable, she needs mental health care. I think his reaction under the circumstances was mild, he has nothing for which to apologize and needs to stop enabling her crazy behavior and stop being a doormat for her disregard/abuse. After update: It's good they had a talk and she listened somewhat for once, and that the cop gave her valuable info. that woke her up. I find myself thinking I hope you never have children with this woman. She really needs treatment.

[@sherlocksteve9109]

in this story one, From a point of view of an EMT, you got two choices: You already have shown your wife the nature of your work and the reasons why NOT to touch your gear and yet, she still doesn't get the whole point of your importance of being an EMT. Yes she may have OCD but she's a danger to you and your career. I hate to say this, but it's time to lawyer up. You need to get out of this marriage. Get a lawyer for two reasons: Divorce and having her arrested for touching your EMT gear because it is a federal crime. Explain that to her that touching your gear is a crime itself and can lead to criminal charges. My cousin had to divorce and have his ex-wife arrested because she's just like your wife. Did she learn her lesson? NO. she blames her OCD and still think she's being a neat freak. I pity her because reality hit her home when one of her family members died becasue the EMT wasn't in time. Tell that to your soon to be ex wife.

[@briant7134]

Okay… what kind of monster ties laces on shoes that aren’t being worn? I’ve NEVER heard of or seen anyone do this. Like, fold the untied laces into the shoe so they’re not in the way, sure. But tie and double knot them… like, that doesn’t even make sense!

[@rubymeaddle]

People who just slip them on 🤷‍♀️

[@briant7134]

That’s fair. I was thinking more along the lines of someone who ties shoe laces when no one is wearing the shoes lol

[@ellorasg4525]

I knew a pair who had a problem like this. They broke up because the girl couldn't take it anymore. The boy got a therapist and is working on it from what I know. He is still struggling with his habits but he is not as extreme as before.

[@MrsJones19]

Holy moly! As someone who has diagnosed OCD, that wife definitely needs to go get her own diagnosis. There are treatments and therapies that can help her. I hope she gets the help she desperately needs before she destroys her marriage and/or costs someone their life.

[@moonlightwolf]

Sick in bed with a fever atm. Your videos help me relax and rest. Thanks Mark

[@Callimo]

Get better soon, friend!

[@darknezfire]

Hope you get well soon

[@KittenUndercover]

Feel better and stay hydrated!

[@moonlightwolf]

Thank you everyone!

[@sarahl88]

I know his wife has OCD issues and it is good that she acknowledged she needed help but that’s not the only problem here. How do you marry someone, live with them and not even know anything about what they do? I get that he did not tell her all the gory details to protect her but who doesn’t have some idea of what an EMT does? It’s even in the name that they are dealing with emergency medical situations and therefore very easy to understand any delay could be critical. But he had to walk her through it in detail with photo and video evidence and back up from a colleague in case she didn’t believe him. And he had to specifically ask before speaking that she not roll her eyes, interrupt, scoff sarcastically etc as if she normally does when he is talking about something important to him. So she doesn’t seem to respect him or care about his job, like it has less value because it’s on a voluntary basis rather than being in a way even more meaningful that he chooses to save lives and potentially put his on the line when he’s not even paid for it. It’s not really a great marriage outside of the shoe issue when she didn’t make effort to understand something that was clearly so important to him then that’s reflective of a larger issue.

[@madarawijerathne276]

Pretty sure it's not ocd but some personality disorder I work in psychiatry specialising hospital and I was trained to some degree in psychiatry in nursing school

[@srkh8966]

She doesn’t want him volunteering

[@plantemor]

I remember this story. Dude married a narcissist. She doesn't have OCD. This her her playing games with him. All the people talking about therapy - no. There's no fixing a narcissist. Dude should run, like yesterday. This B is never gonna change. She will continue to play her little mindgames for as long as they are together. Why? Because she can. Narcissists do this shit because they can. We are all their little playthings and they will continue to play as long as we remain in their toybox. Bailing is the only option. Now she's playing the victim and making herself out to be a dainty little flower who "just didn't realize that being an EMT was that serious" and "muh exes were violent boohoo". Right. She's got this man wrapped around her littlefinger.

[@pattyslater514]

First, my husband works for Ornge. It is the province of Ontario's air ambulance service. They truly get some of the worst calls. That being said, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that EVERY SECOND COUNTS when emergency services are called to a trauma/critical scene, be it land or air ambulance. EVEN MORE SO FOR VOLUNTEER SERVICES because they are already crucial minutes behind. I genuinely lose my 💩 when I'm out and about when people don't pull over in a timely fashion, or over even pull over at all for ambulances. And this would be where I would've offered my "two cents" to OP... saying that the next call he gets that his wife DELIBERATELY makes him late for - she best hope it isn't someone that she loves dearly..... because seconds matter.

[@janieriddle6068]

Thankfully, my Wife and i have an "Unwritten" rule not to mess with each others stuff even tho she likes things to be "Neat" and i'm not that neat. I know where my things are and can get to them when i need them.

[@nareegreel]

What a manipulative witch! He asked her multiple times and when he got angry she started crying and claim abuse.

[@JJerseyGirl]

1st story- Why you have to explain to a 30 something year old woman how important your job as EMT is?

[@dm9078]

I remember this story from some years ago. I felt sorry for that guy and I still do. He married a crazy woman and wasn’t man enough to do something about it.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

He did do something about it. Just because it's not what you would have done doesn't mean he's in the wrong. We also don't know what the final outcome was, if she actually went to therapy and improved, or if she backslid and he had to give up on the marriage, or what.

[@colleencook382]

As a volunteer firefighter/EMT-CC for 14 years, I would have snapped long before OP did. Yes, every second counts.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

"outside of her manipulation and games, it's a great marriage!" WTAF?? HOW can a marriage predicated on "If I apologize for my reaction, she takes that to mean her misdeed is no longer a misdeed" be healthy or happy in any way shape or form?!

[@shebakoby]

"The relationship is wonderful otherwise" - translation: The 'Passionate Hugging' (as rslash would call it) Is off the chain (really really good). But lads, they tell you for a reason, never stick it in crazy.

[@francissobotka8725]

Time to divorce that wife

[@TheIronwil]

Tied Boots: It’s good that OP finally got his wife to understand the gravity of her actions, but I have to admit I’d have drawn a hard line much sooner and with more harshness than OP. My wife and I hardly argue, but when we disagree there’s a thought process involved that I can at least understand. OP’s wife not understanding that holding up first responders just might be a problem makes me wonder if she acts like such a child all the time. I couldn’t handle this. Blatant stupidity is beyond my ability to tolerate. Edit: I cannot believe OP’s wife actually cried and went the “How could you?” route. Nor can I believe OP felt guilty at this. What an asinine dynamic. OP should have married someone with the brain of a mature adult instead of this child in woman’s clothing. And concluding the OP might hit her because he yelled after her stupidity was downright nutty. It sounds like some harsh words are long overdue.

[@goldyd144]

Story 1 - OP's wife figured out she can't touch the boots now, so she's putting on a show to appease him. She'll likely repeat this power-play behavior with something else of his once he gets attached to a different habit that she figures out can bother him. Because that's what it's all about. If this isn't narcissism and just manipulative behavior on her part, then therapy may genuinely help her. But! I fear the possibility that it won't work just based on the behavior described in the post. This reminds me of that post about the boyfriend who switched his girlfriend's pricey shampoo and conditioner with a cheap store brand to prove a point, and she had unknowingly washed her hair for weeks with products not meant for her hair type. It's not the same. It's just that the act of doing something you know is going to upset your partner gives me a similar vibe. It's extremely crappy and manipulative.

[@skyetan86]

I remember this story. OP's wife was truly unhinged.

[@kolonarulez5222]

Every time Mark says "a string of numbers" I keep thinking its one person with the username "astringofnumbers" and not actually that. Eyes opened haha!

[@GrifoStelle]

Story 1 op needs to keep it up. Remove the laces again. Keep removing the laces. Wife keeps abusing and trivializig his boundaries while pretending to be a DA victim. Edit Also. next page to work, panic. Scream "Some kid stopped breathing. They're dieing, right now. Why are my boots tied together? Untie these boots, now" It takes less than 15 minutes to fully relace shoes. Op saved her from being stuck in the rain. So disappointing.

[@ebrown7338]

I 100% do not believe OP's wife is concerned for OP. My thinking is she was "emotional" after their conversation because she was exposed and now Officer Rick knows of her toxic, controlling, behavior. She comes across as highly destructive and emotionally abusive. The fact that she tied his shoes tighter does not reflect OCD but outright malicious behavior. The fact that he had to give her DISCLAIMERS of how not to react in order to have a conversation about something serious to him says to me that this is not a healthy relationship. These things, coupled with her "cleaning up," being afraid because he was so angry it triggered her... all this BS... oh man... I hope OP gets away from her! There are red flags all over his posts.

[@FlamesofJagger]

Hey hey Mark. Thanks for all you do with your channel. You keep people entertained and engaged in the videos and come across as a genuine person. Much love💘💕💗💖❤️💜💙💛💘 to you and blessings to you and you family and friends. Keep up the good work. Waaafffllleee 🧇🧇🧇Gaaannnnggggg forever!!!💯💯💯🤗🤗🤗

[@margaritap.9459]

I'm in the first part of the story and that wife is seriously scary. Every move she makes is intentionally malicious and manipulative. Fingers crossed OP was able to successfully run from her without things getting way way worse... Edit after full story: nope, I don't believe her still. She didn't know what EMTs do? She needed a cop to tell her? She had past relationship trauma? (Women who are afraid of partner abuse do not go around slamming doors, using silent treatment and making them take all the guilt from the conflicts) Everything is just too neat, has too much of a perfect explanation. Maybe I'm too cynical, but I wouldn't be surprised if after some time she'll find another thing to do to OP that will have a significant influence on his life/career/whatever is important to him. That one commenter was right - he overexplains things and gaslights himself like so many other people in abusive relationships.

[@Jen321able]

He shouldn't have had to even tell her more than once. After he tucked in the laces and put them in the closet she was just doing it on purpose. And her acting like his job wasn't important until being told by someone else is so odd. Like why does it need to be proven for you to respect his wished? Leave the damn boots alone.

[@torukurebayashi1960]

One thing that would definitely be effective on Story 1 would be if he would tell her, in detail, about a person that died because he was late at the scene due to his boots being tied. Show her a picture, go with her to the funeral (but from afar - respect for family) all these things. Make her feel what's at stake. No unnecessary drama. Sure, it's harsh, but it certainly brings his point across and I also think that she doesn't take his job seriously. Less mean but also good would be if she gets hurt, nothing serious, and before he helps her he unties his boots especially if she is right next to the boots and can see the struggle.

[@deadseven3474]

This is the most infuriating thing I have ever fucking listened to.

[@BigL_TheKing]

In story 1 I would not have apologized at all to my wife if she did what OPs wife was doing. Then when confronted she cries and blame shifts. Childish. NTA

[@Boe-Temeraire]

Oh boohoo, she missed a run. She’s LITERALLY putting peoples lives at risk. I don’t like to use the divorce card when talking things out could fix things BUT this is a situation where it’s either quit working as an EMT or leave the marriage since her black and white thinking around apologies and her compulsive behaviours around op’s shoes are getting so extreme. ***edit: so after hearing the rest of the story (I initially commented about halfway through) I’m really glad that it looks like separating wasn’t needed. I really genuinely hope that therapy helps her. I do feel like my initial comment might’ve been a little on the harsher side.

[@becauselifts9913]

Op should have said "I didn't make it in time to help" after the shouting incident. Not saying they died, but implying it.

[@goatkiller666]

So, here’s the thing: he shouldn’t need to impress her with how critical the laces are. She should stop interfering BECAUSE HE ASKED HER TO. He gets to decide his own stuff for his own stuff, and as an adult she should respect his autonomy.

[@madelinebogle7475]

Even as a person with diagnosed OCD, I would never mess with someone elses stuff like the wife in the first story. Yikes

[@JSainte17]

Nah... what grown adult doesn't know what EMT's do? Also, she was told multiple times it hinders him and she didn't care. If she "magically understood" after, then it wasn't a mental health issue, which means she was just being an AH.

[@Heisntthesun-youare]

His wife seemed very manipulative. A person shouldn’t have to explain to that degree why not altering your own property is important. He asked her repeatedly when once should have been enough.

[@kimmywimmy7305]

This man has far more patience than me. I don’t know that this is OCD, as it seems so vindictive. It’s reminding of sibling rivalry with an unhinged sibling, under the guise of “keeping things tidy.”

[@immortalsofar5314]

There are some words that I would say I never use but have found that there is a time where it is the only one that fits. I've only used it once when my partner was cheating on me and announced that she was entitled to continue to do so. OP's situation is, I believe, one where his partner's reaction also warrants it. "You know how I am." "Yes, you're a f*****g c**t but I want you to stop!"

[@Mewse1203]

Be kind, be safe and take care of yourself. Have a great day

[@GrifoStelle]

Ops wife doesn't have ocd She chronically doesn't care about her partner. She openly insults and disrespects his job, actively hurts his efforts and mocks him for being upset that someone was dieing while he worked through the wife's trap OP had to make her solemnly promise not to roll her eyes, not to belittle or insult him, before daring to

[@Prettypoisonswitch]

That was the final tipping point for me. If you have to say to your SO "don't belittle me " before you start a serious conversation GET FUCK OUT NOW !!!! How is that in any way exceptable!! She is so abusive I'm genuinely mad that op didn't leave her.

[@explodingtomahawks7589]

Story 1: The wife is psychotic. She’s deliberately doing this, completely ignoring his feelings, and laughing at his reaction. Good fucking luck, OP. Run while you can, even if you’re barefoot.

[@hothotheat3000]

He needs to hide even more of her stuff, frankly. Hide her clothes, her car keys, unplug her phone and let the battery die. She doesn’t respect her husband.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

That's just childish. It wouldn't work because she's got a solid reason that she's not giving up on, and like others commenting here, I think that reason is CONTROL. Escalating this by doing the same thing to her over and over would just start fights and it wouldn't resolve the issue. Therapy is a good start, but only if she actually changes her behavior. If she doesn't, frankly, I'd advise splitting up, because she's a control freak.

[@jessicahall5086]

The "ice water" treatment used thoughtfully and effectively

[@briansmaller7443]

Story 1 - Unlike Mark I am happy diagnose that OP's wife. Dude's wife has kangaroos loose in the top paddock.

[@mbyerly9680]

That sounds like the Australian version of bats in the belfry.

[@brucehursman8874]

It's her way and you don't matter.

[@user-sv4fc9kv6f]

I absolutely love your videos mark! I’ve basically listened to all of your podcasts at this point. It’s great to listen if I’m riding a bike or playing music. TYSM!

[@MarkNarrations]

Glad you like them! Thank you for being a part of it :)

[@InvasionAnimation]

He should divorce her insane self. She abused him because she thought she wouldn't get hurt by her. The second she got scared of him, she got put in her place. Since she never even listened to reason. It will be some other bs and find yourself a woman that doesn't belong in an institution.

[@atex6175]

She obviously doesn't want him to volunteer as an EMT anymore.

[@secretskull21]

At that point I wouldn’t apologize for anything unless it was legitimately all my fault, because I’m not taking any blame that’s not rightfully mine.

[@groofromtheup5719]

Honestly, that is the most concerning part.

[@clrtwallace0116]

Great job, Mark! Thanks!!!

[@jeannebuttons5301]

Sounds like OCD mixed with narcissism when it comes to those shoelaces.

[@brianbarber5401]

At no point did OP do anything he needed to apologize for. He asked her nicely to stop, escalating up to making her understand somewhat what it feels like, and she completely ignored and disregarded all of it. The phrase “you either stop this, or I can be present where you can continue to do this, because one day I’m going to come home and tell you someone died tonight, because of your actions.”

[@fatimakhatun5788]

One day tell the wife “thanks, thanks to my boots someone did die today, but on the plus side my boots were tied really hard and looked neat, that’s far more important than the victims family losing someone important to them”

[@Brittanyknuckles1427]

I was hoping by now there’d be an update that said he left her

[@nikkihorn3852]

Same

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 jeez had to jump through so many hoops just to get her to not touch his stuff.

[@James-sq4sc]

Wtf is wrong with his wife??? He explained to her that delaying him could cost literal lives and she still ignored him. It’s disrespectful. She has no right to cry about missing a jog and acting so hypocritical

[@gemma6515]

Op2 get yourself some running shoes and run away from that psychopath!

[@fcold9402]

1. Why does the wife touch the shoes? Why does she then throw a crying fit when something similar is done to her. You do not owe an apology, she does. There is nothing you can do to "fix" this, that is on her.

[@teacheschem]

Hilarious what OP did to his wife’s running shoes!

[@robertx8020]

Story One " NTA !!! AND never have been at any point "we have such a good realtionship otherwise" No..but that is what all abused ppl say in a relationship! e.g. "well he/she beats me up but that is just because I make him angry, he/she really loves me" No this is clear abuse! Get her therapy or bail!! this will only get worse! After the update : Let's work how therapy works out Btw I does makes me wonder why it took an other person to point out how important OP's work was

[@jenniferslack-smith5129]

Clever how she got him to apologise.