Afternoon Tea Etiquette: How to Hold a Teacup and More from an Etiquette Expert

Learn the proper way to enjoy traditional afternoon tea with The Plaza Hotel tea trainer, Myka Meier! In this video, Myka explains how to use proper etiquette to look your best while enjoying tea. From how to hold a tea cup, how to pour and drink tea, you'll be able to host or be at a guest at a tea party with full confidence!
Myka's dress is by Gretchen Scott Designs www.gretchenscottdesigns.com/
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[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

Notes: a standard sugar cube is one teaspoon of sugar, those fancy, irregular lumps are usually more, they can contain 1 1/2 to 2 tsp. Never put milk in green tea, only black or oolong. If serving brewed tea from a pot (I never use tea bags for a tea party), there should be a smaller pot of hot water, so that you or your guest can dilute the tea to taste. When I’m serving tea, I brew the tea strong (to English strength), then ask if each guest wants theirs strong, or milder. One thing you can’t do is make it stronger afterward.

[@DonyaLane]

I love milk in my green tea AND in chamomile.

[@Alchemicalprincess]

​@@DonyaLanesome people just wanna see the world burn 😂

[@MessoverOG]

My great grandmother was part of the Turkish royal family and my father was raised with formal etiquettes which he did his best to pass on to me. I had the pleasure of meeting the Queen of England when I was a child. I thoroughly enjoyed your presentation, so much so I have subscribed to your channel.

[@umairahossain773]

🥺🥺🥺

[@andrewjenkins2985]

This is the best afternoon tea breakdown I've ever seen. Well done.

[@lupitafigueroa1311]

I’d love if you could make a video on how to eat off of a charcuterie board! (how to eat off of it and why you eat certain pieces before the others.)

[@kathleenkalt3852]

I so agree with this. Everyone shows you how to make one, but then what? Even when people just serve cheese and crackers...do you cut yourself one slice at a time, load up your plate...

[@robinlondrow9263]

Yes please

[@lauragb3677]

Yes! Please.

[@relaxationjourneys4575]

love the positivi-tea ☕

[@phupinder6450]

Thank you so much for giving such detailed, thorough coaching for free. I have bought and read your book. It’s invaluable. And it’s so great to have tutorials to complement the information in the book. Thank you once again 🙏🏽😊

[@AMcDub0708]

“Have you ever been invited for tea....” Me: Laughs maniacally in American.

[@sayoshinakamario]

Me: ha ha you fool!

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

It’s spout, not stout, the part of the teapot where the tea flows out.

[@millydedee469]

It would be a good idea if you could make a drinking etiquette for instance how to hold wine glasses or even wine etiquette ❤️

[@mykameier7474]

Wonderful thank you! I love this idea!!

[@flavia9464]

@@mykameier7474Yesss, please!

[@mykameier7474]

I can’t wait to film a future video on this topic! In the meantime, proper wine etiquette is to hold it by the stem (to avoid fingerprints and warming the liquid). You can see a video on my Instagram where I show this 🙂 thank you for watching!! 💕💕

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

Yes, please. For example, American men don’t know that they are supposed to pour the wine, they just sit there looking at their date all night, expecting her to do it. Has this rule become outdated?

[@marcusbrown188]

Her books mention this

[@khawlakazi4020]

So blessed to have such KZbinrs who put up such important videos 💕 Much love❣

[@marynetupsky5071]

Good information for those unfamiliar with afternoon tea etiquette. One correction, however! The part of the teapot from which the tea is poured is correctly named "the spout"....not "the STOUT" as you suggest.

[@bjgoels1]

I love the little bits of history you provide. I am such a geek! :D

[@mercylemus8130]

What a wonderful video. Educational and entertaining. Thank you so much.

[@d.b.7444]

Love hearing from you. You always make my day.

[@mykameier7474]

🥰 So happy to hear!! 💕

[@ashitasood535]

you just cleared my confusion of placing the discarded tea bag and spoon. thank you!! I needed a solution to this, the saucer is really too small to hold so much all in together.

[@latoyajones8463]

Myka! I learn sooooo much from you! Thank you for sharing and caring!

[@mykameier7474]

🥰 thank YOU for watching! I’m so glad you are finding them helpful! ❤️

[@carrieannmcleod5219]

I love taking afternoon teas or hosting them at home. I've seen quite a few tea tutorials but yours is more comprehensive. I wish you would have gone over the food but I guess the length would have been too long. Thank you so much, really enjoyed watching it.

[@isabellast.andrews2490]

My grandfather was from New Brunswick, where it was a custom to give a single teacup and saucer as a hostess gift. We have a cupboard of lovely mismatched teacups that have been handed down. Have you ever heard of this custom, Myka? I've never known if it was a Canadian tradition or a local quirk!

[@bjgoels1]

I have never heard that as a custom, per se, but I knew a woman when I lived in San Francisco who collected teacups and saucers. Whenever anyone would give her one as a gift, she would drink from it before putting it on display.

[@danndeelion]

In Canada they used to give teacups when you went to the theatre(pre-1950's)!! Lots of people collected starting like that. So teacups were definitely ingrained in Canadian culture. It's our last little bit of Britishness I guess. My grandpa (a Scot/Canadian) used to pour a dab of tea into his saucer and drink it from the saucer. He told me why but I cant remember.

[@mr.pjcrowley2394]

@@danndeelion With more surface area in the saucer, it was a way to cool the tea fast for drinking.

[@lizziedawson4941]

I think this may be an Eastern European tradition. I think I have seen this with older people in Poland. It is customary to give a gift when visiting and tea is popular in Poland. They are usually a teacup, saucer and tea plate that all match.

[@PM-kf7dg]

@@danndeelion When I was young in rural Manitoba, I remember sitting around the table for afternoon tea, which was called afternoon coffee as we all drank coffee from teacups! My uncles all poured their coffee from the cups into the saucers to cool it faster. We were all started on very weak coffee at the age of four, about a tablespoon of coffee in a teacup of warm milk. A lovely bone china cup and saucer was often a hostess or birthday gift.

[@princesslynaborealis]

That's are so good advices.

[@meracitaminns5392]

Thank you for the tutorial it was most helpful!! Awesome job...

[@pamelajohnson9810]

You are helping me brush up on my etiquette.thanks

[@masodadominique4346]

Thank you so much. I am having some afternoon tea with mom at the 4 seasons soon and these tips will come in so handy 😀

[@evadobreva5788]

Dear Myka, I want to sincerely thank you for all the amazing content you share with us with you books and videos! 🙏👏 I would love to watch some videos about honey (how to serve it, how to add it to the tea, do we use a regular tea spoon...). I also would love some ideas about the smal gifts we bring with when we are invited to home, party, afternoon tea. And also some content about how to tip correctly. Greeting from Austria 🌷

[@mykameier7474]

I love all these wonderful ideas thank you! I’m adding them to my list! I’m so glad to hear you are enjoying my videos and books!! ❤️

[@krazyoldkatlady192]

This was interesting and useful. Thank you!

[@terryhenson3350]

Very good information presented by you in such a nice and friendly way. I really like your red dress with the white scroll work on it!

[@alexmc75]

Thank you for your expertise! Love your blouse.

[@chevycreezy]

Lots of great info!! Thanks for sharing! ☕️

[@pinkpoodle7100]

You are a wealth of knowledge…thank you for sharing!

[@siilverstxr4868]

This was awesome! Thanks so much.

[@aaronmolasky9611]

Thanks it’s so helpful being with my sister

[@sherleysreallife]

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge.

[@natashaauton2029]

I purchased your Modern Etiquette book and excitedly waiting for it to arrive.

[@idk1234897]

Thank you for these helpful videos!

[@mykameier7474]

🥰 💕💕

[@elhamsha9495]

Perfect, thank you🙏🏻🌸

[@PM-kf7dg]

Regarding the parts of the teapot, it's called a spout, not a stout. Lovely video.

[@martyhelfrich8239]

YES! Collars are down! Thank you for not turning your collar up!

[@Bugki]

Great video Myka, I enjoyed watching it, very informative :) I always wondered how to eat seafood correctly or use the additional silverware for seafood or snails, maybe you could do something like this next?

[@mykameier7474]

YES! They can be tricky! Absolutely adding this to my list. Thank you for watching, I’m so glad you enjoyed it 🥰

[@moedersminimalisme5181]

I red once that you have to pore tea in yourself first en then your guests, because then you can see if it has the right color. That made sense to me… thank you for this great video!

[@sherylr4143]

so enjoyed the proper way to serve, I know most but will share your video as our National Depression Glass museum is having a tea in April, everyone gets to take their cup home, a depression glass cup and saucer in pink, green or yellow.

[@devika_25]

I want to be like you , you hold yourself so gracefully. And ofcourse these etiquette lessons are priceless 🌸 I myself, now tired of being tomboyish , I am 28 now 😁

[@Bemmy564]

Loved the video and all of your beautiful china. One thing that I believe is that if you are using black tea or oolong, the water should be boiling, if using herbals or green teas the temperature calls for hot water.

[@thepartygardener5594]

Hello, love love the dress, the Star of the tea party! 🙂🙂

[@tibitaylor]

The part of the teapot that you pour from is a spout, not a stout. Stout describes the overall shape of the pot. Sugar is served in a sugar bowl, not a container. Also, due to the delicate nature of the cup, Brits add milk first, followed by hot tea from the pot. Another way is to swirl hot water in the cup to warm it before pouring the tea.

[@traceyeverett2748]

Brit here and agree with everything you said x

[@tibitaylor]

@@traceyeverett2748 Thank you!

[@mbd6054]

Absolutely right. Hot liquid poured straight into bone china is not a good idea.

[@denisegore1884]

I thought you put the milk in first if the quality of the china is questionable and may break. On Downton Abbey, there was a meeting about the WW1 memorial and one of the townswomen asked Carson to put the milk in hers first and he looked appalled as she was insulting the family china. Few got people the humour of the scene.

[@denizd4821]

thank you so much, I follow you from Iran.

[@gemmab8626]

I am so happy to have discovered your channel -- yay! :-). I need local friends like you in my life, but for now I will settle for the virtual you, hahah!

[@klhen8709]

Loved the video. I'll be hosting an afternoon tea for children next Saturday trying to teach them Etiquette

[@laurenschenck5355]

Amazing idea you are so amazing LOVEE U ❤️❤️

[@SmokinAce]

After watching this I’m mortified on how I handled my first tea parties 😮😮😮😮😅

[@conneeboulmay3431]

Thank you so much.

[@icysweetness]

Beautiful.

[@susanalucena9503]

I love your videos. I would like to note that the custom of using tea as a beverage was introduced by Catarina de Bragança, portuguese princess, in the court of England, when she arrived to marry King Charles II, (XVII century). Everybody were astonished with that habit of her. The tea, in Portugal we say, chá, was brought to Europe by the portuguese navigators and when export, the bundles had a T, meaning that were in transit, and abroad that leaves began to be called Tea. Sorry if I wrote with grammar mistakes, but my mother language is portuguese.

[@mehmetturkey53]

Thank you very much, best regards

[@mariahgrumet5686]

Love!! xoxo

[@mykameier7474]

I’m so glad you liked it! Thank you for watching 😘

[@dilikdolik]

What a lovely top you are wearing 💕🌸💕🌸💕

[@mykameier7474]

Thank you so much!! 💕💕 it’s actually a dress from Gretchen Scott. They have great pieces ❤️

[@TaylorMorello]

Hi Myka! Loved this video. Can you share where your tea set is from? Or best places to buy a classic tea set? I’m looking for one to keep forever and be a staple piece in my home

[@MorenitaBonita19]

ThatFeminineHousewife sent me although I believe I've come across your channel before 💓💓 loved it 😍

[@kathleenkalt3852]

So many fond memories of going into the city from CT and taking my daughter to tea at The Plaza. I'm new to your channel and wondering whether you have ever covered bathroom etiquette at places like The Plaza? I'm older and wiser now, but when someone first hands you a towel....maybe this isn't done anymore.

[@davidmajors2882]

So glad i found this channel

[@argonwheatbelly637]

The top of the lid of the teapot is the finial, not the top of the teapot. A finial is a simple decorative top to an object, in this case the lip of the teapot; however, being mostly distinct from the lid, it affords a bit of distance from the scorching heat of the lid itself.

[@mommabear5059]

I read your comment in the voice of Mr. Carson, butler on Downton Abbey.

[@gwenifyer]

I will use it if any child invites me to play tea party 😂😂 Nice video 😘

[@lisaclark5599]

Loved this lesson. I learned that the body of the tea pot is called the "stout" and the long pouring vessel is the "spout." Is that not correct?

[@anna-mariadiarra6485]

Hello, Myka! You are gorgeous as always. I really enjoyed watching this beautiful video. I'd like to thank you for all the thoroughly done work. Afternoon tea is my favourite topic in terms of etiquette. But I wonder how honey should be served on the table. And what are the required or additional instruments to consume the honey? I'm looking forward for your reply. Thank you!

[@princessglittersparkle4146]

Earl Grey with milk and vanilla sugar. Yes please!

[@katherinecarofine6013]

I love the simplicity and elegance of your milk pitcher. Can I ask where you got it?

[@adilariasat9437]

Wonderful,can you pls make a video on buffet ,how to eat and behave while being on buffett table and after that....pls do share some insight on buffet attiquets.Thanks❤️

[@stevetaylor8698]

If you are going to use loose leaf tea and really you should, then choose a teapot which doesn't have a built in strainer - that is, the hole inside the pot which leads to the spout is completely open. Many teapots have several small holes leading to the spout, they are there to stop tea bags blocking the hole. These don't stop the tea leaves ending up in your cup but it makes it very difficult to empty the leaves out of the pot when you come to clean it. With an open spout pot, you simply pour out the remaining tea (adding more water if need be) through a strainer. You can put your strained leaves straight into the compost bin.

[@irmar]

Sometimes they have a (removable) white plastic mesh tube near the end of the spout, it catches most leaves.

[@beverlytaylor4264]

I love your shirt and those earrings! Please link!!!

[@mykameier7474]

Thank you very much! The Dress is Gretchen Scott Designs and the Earrings are Kenneth Lane.

[@beverlytaylor4264]

I had a feeling that was Gretchen Scott! Your style is impeccable!!!

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

I love afternoon tea because I love food in little bites, like hors d’ouevres, tapas, mezedes, etc. It’s so hard to find a good afternoon tea in a restaurant, cafe or tea shop where I live. Most places serve only sweets, no sandwiches, but I love savories, not just all sugary things.

[@stella05783]

😍

[@DonyaLane]

Here's something that most people don't know... Tea tastes BEST when consumed from REAL bone china! If you want to truly experience the purest, most delicious tea flavor, get yourself a 100% bone china cup and tea pot (if you're serving from a tea pot), and only use it for your teas. DO NOT drink tea from ceramic, porcelain, pottery, glass, etc. Save that material for coffee beverages (where they also taste best). This has to do with the porous nature of those other materials, because they retain the flavors of coffee and other beverages. Try it - you can thank me later! PS. Not all bone china cups are those teeny, dainty ones that you get with your fancy china settings. I have purchased several large and full-sized, bone china cups at Home Goods, believe it or not. You just have to hunt. Just read the bottom of the cup for the words: BONE CHINA. You'll start to notice that they are more translucent than ceramic and porcelain, and you'll become expert at spotting them from afar.

[@lesliecarnes8775]

Thank you for your beautiful videos! Should we eat our sweets with fingers or with silverware?

[@donnachevalier7460]

❤❤❤

[@mykameier7474]

💕💕

[@pamelajohnson9810]

Loves the china

[@bazarchatsa]

Beautiful 👏👏👏🌹🌹🌹☕️😊^^~.

[@pamelajohnson9810]

Hi Myka I loves your ch have written any books on etiquette.

[@pamelajohnson9810]

Myka do some examples for Business Etiquette Thanks

[@shannongerow707]

Great video! Quick random question-do you think a diamond solitaire necklace is appropriate for everyday? I know diamonds come out after 6p but I’m wondering if that applies to smaller pieces (its 1 carat). I want to wear my nice jewelry everyday and not just “save” it. Thank you!! ❤️ 💎

[@cassidydavis902]

I sold luxury jewelry for 5 years, lots of women wear their diamonds everyday especially smaller ones. I know women that have special jewelry for special occasions, women that love to dress up during the day, and women that just rock their big diamonds all of the time. One of the things I love about America is self expression and doing what matches your personality. I hope you have been wearing your jewelry!

[@MsPaula-100]

Miss your videos. Hope all is well for you!

[@mel-j]

How do you eat sorbet in a stemmed glass? I viewed some etiquette videos and it shows that you have to hold it in between your middle and ring finger placed flat around the stem. Is this correct?

[@clementineclement5757]

I adore tea parties and before lockdown I used to have guests several times a month ( both mature and young friends and family, and a big success even with the kid's friends, most of them very busy "startuppers" who enjoy, after managing their firms and staying bent over computers all day, that graceful, delightful break !). I was also invited at many teas . But honey is an issue, and in spite of my long experience I've never found the ideal solution. I see it at other parties as well. I cringe when a guest asks for honey. Have you got any suggestion ? After having tried plain jars where I had poured the honey - then you're stuck : where to put the spoon down ? Not to mention the risks of sticky drops all over the place , I've chosen, half-heartedly, a second-best solution : the honey dispenser. It still makes both guests and hosts nervous. And none is really chic, even those made out of cristal instead of glass. Really looking forward to your answer.

[@SuperKath25]

I love your dress, is it from Lilly Pulitzer??

[@mavisching3280]

Hello! Could a teabag be reused for a second serving?

[@yolandamarrero-lopez9688]

I have heard that if you are having tea in the living room (for example,) and it is served on a low table, you should pick up your cup with the saucer. Is this correct?

[@traceyeverett2748]

British person here, yes. If you are sitting on a sofa or chair and the table is a low coffee table style then you hold the saucer with the cup (as she's shows for standing with it)

[@yolandamarrero-lopez9688]

@@traceyeverett2748 Thank you!

[@grotemuis4889]

Interesting, I was taught the hostess serves her selves first by pouring a small amount in her tea cup to see if the tea strength is correct then goes on to serve her guests and finishes her cup off last.

[@krooks6367]

the pinky out came as etikett during middle age. You where only allowed to use one hand for food (the other was used at toilet),

[@alinaborovaya7818]

Dear Myka, in case when I do not like the taste of scones, what is the right way of presenting myself during afternoon tea? Just eat it anyway or is it acceptable to skip scones?

[@ber1779]

Etiquette consultant @JamilaMusayeva here on KZbin explained that if you don’t want to eat a course, such as the sandwiches or scones, you do not start with the one you prefer, but wait til everyone has finished their sandwiches, then eat scones together. In your case, you may skip the scones, and once your friend has finished theirs, move on to dessert together. I wouldn’t say anything, just sip your tea, and sometimes if I have a pushy host I put it on my plate but never eat it haha For example, I’ll put the scone on my plate but not eat it, and observe once they finish theirs, just move on to dessert without mentioning your scone haha Maybe say you’re a little too full for scones

[@marietjiestegmann742]

The teapot should first be warmed/rinsed to warm before adding the tealeaves and filling with hot water?

[@gem4504]

I really want to find out more of the hows in hosting a tea party if it's possible. I have watched more of the hows of being guests but not specifically hosting. Could you please please make a video on that. Thank you.

[@saramartinez103]

I would recommend The Art of Tea Recipes and Rituals by Victoria classics 👌 Wonderful book

[@argonwheatbelly637]

Oil of Bergamot tightens my throat, so Earl Grey is never on my list; however, most others are, especially Chinese and Japanese teas. Tisanes are something else, and as much as I hear talk of "herbal" teas, they're usually tisanes, not teas. But such is as it is. Time to fix myself a good cuppa with some biscuits. Cheers. Ta.

[@dlynch1898]

As

[@argonwheatbelly637]

@@dlynch1898 : ?

[@thelthrythquezada8397]

How heavy are these cups that makes people strain so bad? I need to pay more attention when I have tea or coffee

[@AdvantureRoad]

Not sure how I slipped in this hole on tea, but I’ve watched several today. It would seem that it’s a 50/50 debate on adding milk and sugar first or last.

[@vickytaylor9155]

If you are using porcelain cups or bone China, you actually put the milk in first as porcelain and bone China traditionally can crack.

[@sharonrosedaffron5208]

If a doily is on your saucer is it okay to remove it and place your spoon or rubbish on this instead of the saucer

[@ber1779]

Probably not because it can leak through the doily and stain the host’s tablecloth. Better to put it on your plate

[@jaizeneazari5546]

5:53

[@nixfiks]

The finial reminds me to my mom, she collected tea sets, but someone stole two of her teapots and left the finials behind.. 😅

[@irmar]

I presume you meant the lids, because how can one detach just the finial from the lid?

[@nixfiks]

@@irmar ah yeah, thanks for correcting...

[@charlenewalters8032]

do what u want

[@cheyannedavis6556]

Have you all seen those doilies before? 5:00

[@leodragonjules]

Mmm. Maybe I misheard. I would refer to it as a spout.

[@coline_khorvash]

Interesting! I believe you live in NYC, as I do. Here people don’t drink tea at all! I feel I am the only person who likes to drink tea. Where are the High Tea and Afternoon Tea used in NYC? I have never seen such an event like that here! No one likes tea here

[@mykameier7474]

Love to see my fellow tea lovers! Many hotels in NYC serve afternoon tea if you are looking for a place to enjoy! At Beaumont Etiquette we teach this technique at the Plaza Hotel Finishing Program, and we always love seeing new faces!! 💕

[@ber1779]

What if the tea is too hot? I’ve burned my lip and spilled my tea before, but the water for the tea is always boiling

[@irmar]

You wait for a bit, no?