The SHOCKING Consequences of

[@salma8113]

This topic was very much needed! One advice I would like to give my fellow sisters is not to focus too much on how much money a man has, focus more on his *behaviour with money*. A man can be poor😢 but have the most robust and eager work ethic, and conduct themselves highly, with behaviour rooted in Quran and Sunnah, whereas you can find a rich man who is stingy, lacks manners and behaviour concerning money is rooted in podcasted and red pill ideologies. In my experience an issue i faced was with a man i was previously being courted by (before marriage vetting and questioning process). man😢This was well off, full time job, a side business, owned a house, cars everything mashaAllah. Now the issue is he said he has enough to take care of a family, BUT i realised slowly that one can be rich but also stingy. He had a strict budget for everything which is understandable but would say that he is only paying for absolute necessities, clothes have to be from shien, temu, and he will not pay for other brands which i thought was strangely specific but still okay. THEN he said that when children are born that I need to go on government payments to get more funding.... i asked is he not embarrased to do such a thing as a person who is well off..... he said that everyone does it and its a great way to save money as he will need more funding for his side business and i should be happy to help in this situation, he also suggested that I should help out as a free worker in his side business because we will both benefit😂 that is where i drew the line, because he also had a strong "women should cook and clean for me" attitude, but you also wabt me to work for free? 🤔 stay safe sisters avoid this type of men pls. 🚩🚩🚩

[@mouhamaddiallo4498]

🤣😂 OMG this made me laugh. That is definitely shameless attitude.

[@mufasahm8238]

I wrote a comment below this it looks like to got deleted. May I ask sister, did you have these conversations before getting married and what you were going to get into? I’m sure if you had known you wouldn’t have entertained him but did you see red flags or any warnings? Did you test him to know his nature. How did you end up in that situation? May Allah bless you. Hopefully this comment doesn’t get deleted??

[@salma8113]

@@mufasahm8238 salaam alaykum, I am not married to this person, it occurred during the talking or vetting/courting stage before marriage when you get to know someone. I noticed the red flags and did not accept this man for marriage, my family also noticed the red flags and recommended strongly against him. I am warning other sisters to be careful of stingy men who do not follow quran and sunnah, who do not have tawakkul that Allah swt will help them if they follow his book, which clearly states that they are in charge of provision.

[@By_Aleeya]

MashAllah. Such an important and timely topic sweetie. Thank you for addressing this. May Allah reward you. And huge congratulations on the birth of your baby boy 🩵💙

[@NafisasPearlz]

Thank you so much 🤗

[@SY-rv9mz]

​@@NafisasPearlzTHANKS. I notice that many women provide for the needs of their household while they are married, even when the husband is working. There are also polygamous men who do not work, they have wives in secret (while the prophet says that marriage must be announced). I really have the impression that we practice half-hearted Islam, we take what we like. Baarakallahou fiki.

[@najmasalim9160]

Asalaam aleykum. Welcome back ukthi. Congrats for the new born, may Allah guide him Ameen. To the point. Thank you for bringing this out.

[@mirshanahrazack504]

I had so many doubts about this topic .SubhanAllah , The amount of overthinking I used to drown in 😢 May Allah bless you with more knowledge . Ameen ❤

[@nadirajames4267]

SubhanaAllah Sis this was an excellent topic for us all Ma shaa Allah TabarkAllah very beneficial 🤲🏾❤️

[@adoontiialle8270]

Why would any women accept 50/50, is he also going to share the pregnancy, labor and breasfeeding with me? No thank you, you pay everything plus mahr and dowry or leave.

[@quranicsoulmeditation3105]

A good Muslima should think on her words before it’s spoken… ( even she is speaking the truth) Character & politeness are the main aspects of Islam.

[@hn1695]

I agree but it works both ways. Many sisters would say what you said but then will not cook clean and be obedient to her husband. Both have their roles you cant only take take take and not give.

[@LaVictoria_]

@@hn1695Cooking and cleaning aren’t mentioned as a woman’s duty anywhere in Islam. But providing for your women and children is. Now if the woman is I’ll or disabled and can’t cook nor clean but can nurture her children is she not fulfilling her duties according to you ?

[@hn1695]

@ A woman is to look after the house if the husband is working and providing. How do you look after the house and not cook and clean or why would you not want to do that for your family you love? Feminism has ruined women i tell you. Theyll happily be submissive and obedient to their boss at work but not husband. If a woman doesnt want to do anything then why would the man marry her. Whats the benefit for him if she expects her rights and also to not do anything at home. In the extreme example you gave which isnt applicable to most house holds- of course shes fulfilling her duties and there no blame on her as she is disabled or ill and when ill theres nothing wrong with the husband helping out. Dont get me wrong if both the couple r working and dont mind 50/50 etc with chores then cool. My example is specifically for traditional set up where man works and woman stays home. If the woman doesnt want to do notbing because its “not clearly mentioned in islam” then the man can utilise the same principle and say “i only need to provide the basic necessities for you ie a roof. Two pairs clothing and two basic meals a day”. You see how this becomes ridiculous. Oh and by the way. The quran says thag women r to be devoutly obedient to their husbands and theres many hadith about women being obedient to husband so if husband asks her to look after the house and cook and clean then by default she has to listen. Would you personally not want to cook clean and look after the house and ur family if he was providing for u and loving snd giving u ur rights???? If not then cool maybe thats you but whats your thoughts on this.

[@hn1695]

@ also the women in times of the salaf cooked and cleaned and men provided these r the roles. If u dont want that then cool but trust me its disfinctional and wouldnt work if man provided everytbing and his wife said naaah im not doing anything for you at home. It just wouldnt work. The man is responsible for providing but dont forvet the woman has to be obedient. Works both ways.

[@pearlmoonoverwater]

Grateful to you for this video. I like what you said about mercy.

[@Ceki20]

Trust me it‘s even harder when your father only has daughters and he expects the daughters to contribute financially. It‘s like he‘s waiting for the last sister to finish college so he can stop working and retire

[@pearleunjoo5439]

Lol literally my dad (& mom as well). They claim to be so traditional yet have these feminist thoughts.

[@aasmahalima5245]

I lived through this and finally left home to live independently. Best thing I ever did for myself and it’s all praise to Allah. Feminist ideology run deep in families especially if you’re living in UK.

[@pearleunjoo5439]

@@aasmahalima5245 What age did you move out? I'm already 21 & still dependant. And mom says I'm so ugly that no man wouldn’t want to provide for me. I feel like dying.

[@aasmahalima5245]

@ 29. My parents supported me and now have changed their ways and expectations of me. Verbal abuse shouldn’t be tolerated. Work hard. Save your money. Build the life you want. So many of us have done the same.

[@sadiya-xs3sz]

Girls this is so true, I was in the same boat until I got married alhamdullilah. I’m terrified that one day my husband will get fed up of taking care of me, that I’m a burden etc, but I know it’s the devil causing these worries, so I make dua for my happiness. I grew up thinking I’m useless or for not pursuing a lengthy career in a respectable field. Alhamdullilah there were good times but I felt like I wasn’t good enough. Inshallah all you ladies attain and maintain happiness with your spouses and families as well.

[@seiji99]

I advice sisters to not make your husband used to your help. Because it can end up badd. As a wife if you don‘t contribute at least be economical and mindful with his money. But sisters that work even just a little often times are expected to contribute to help with expenses. Nothing bad with helping i just don‘t like when women are expected to help…like am I the man or you?

[@SS-cu8se]

Yes, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with contributing financially if the woman works but the split should never be 50/50. Maybe 70/30 or 60/40 unless of course, the man is also helping with household chores and child rearing. But women should never try to be superwoman and “do it all” - heck nah! Because once you fall into that trap, it’s difficult to get out of that dynamic.

[@seiji99]

@ jupp and as woman are not made to „do all“ it will end up in some health issues or damaging the marriage/relationship the children. And most importantly the relationship to Allah.

[@Cherries6984]

I will absolutely help contribute financially since I want to work part-time. The ideal split for me would be something like 70/30. Why? Because I don't want to do all the housework every single day. Let him do 30% of it and cook on weekends and in return I'll contribute 30% financially.

[@YoungRiaz]

Thanks for sharing nafaisa

[@NafisasPearlz]

Thanks for watching

[@YoungRiaz]

@NafisasPearlz your welcome

[@_bazzmuhammad]

Alhamdoulilah Haqa Hamdi! Thank you for this video. ❤

[@NafisasPearlz]

The pleasure is mine. Jzk

[@rutaba0016]

My parents are both working but my mama was never responsible for the rent, bills and everyday expenses. My dad did that and instead my mum put all hers into savings and al7amdulillah bcx of her savings all 3 of us siblings are able to study abroad and hold degrees from good unis. My dad didnt have the (extreme) pressure of saving and my mum didnt have the pressure of contributing. I think it works well this way!!

[@mouhamaddiallo4498]

@@rutaba0016 They did a great job then. Working together as a unit for the family.

[@mouhamaddiallo4498]

I really like the topic. I think this analysis is definitely correct. 50/50 should not be applied to Muslim families. A woman should not be made responsible for any finances in the house. The only limitation that I find is that you assume that women are taking care of the house. Maybe it would have been great to quickly define the responsibilities for both genders. Truth of the matter is that nowadays, women are asking men to jointly take care of the house. They want to share responsibilities in the house under the pretext that they are also working normal hours, while still wanting to have men take care of everything financially.

[@rutaba0016]

I think the solution for this as well is that dont expect your husband to contribute in household chores but if he does, we should be grateful bcx thats not his job. It all comes down to our expectations and open communication

[@sakhofatimata4128]

That is a problem in so many households 😞

[@klaw1425]

The best explanation of this complex topic must be based on the Quran and the Sunna, not on emotions or cultural sentiments.”

[@Bambotb]

@@klaw1425yes stay at home and let your husband work and stop taking jobs from men

[@thefrenchafricanninjamom]

Subhanallah and Alhamdulillah for Islam! Allah says the husband provides financially 100% so the wife should relax and be at peace knowing she has married a real man

[@senatubee]

Thank you sister❤

[@starsighting7167]

Look I dont mind helping my man in hard times but I know if he has it he would never want me to pay for anything

[@mimo4856]

Not married yet but InshAllah I'll support where it is needed. And of course, the holidays are on me (within my budget of course!).

[@user-go4zv9fj4l]

The man who proposed to me asked me for an iPhone 🤮😂

[@HA-vc5dl]

Alhamdullilah you are seeing the 🚩 now than after marriage. RUN

[@mufasahm8238]

Should have bought him one then said your his sugar mama lol

[@user-go4zv9fj4l]

@@mufasahm8238 I honestly have no money to even buy myself one 🤣 not complaining Alhamdulillah on all that he given me

[@anonylolo324]

@@mufasahm8238 That and you should have gotten him a customised phone case on it saying “MY SUGAR MAMA GAVE THIS TO ME” 🤣🤣🤣

[@lail111]

@@mufasahm8238 Why?

[@Alex-os8oz]

I have been doing this for the last 11 years (6 years with my current husband ) and we have 4 children together (ages 5 nonths to 4.5 years) and until lsst week i have contributed..but i will never do it again..after i was called "lazy" a couple of days a go....rhe house is a mess,he relaxes after work and i try to get around with all rhe kids being at home plus my older child who goes to school...he dont lif a finger and does bot do any household chores..then i feel like i will not help with rhe expenses(i spend about 3k dollars a month)..NEVER again

[@TheCastedone]

Yeah, he big Time tripping.

[@amnanisar7696]

Your videos are so helpful and informative. Can you please make a video on how to keep attraction in marriage forever !?

[@nermeenba1108]

We need more content related to daawah, Sabr, and Iman Thanks in advance ❤

[@houmousylla7804]

Assalamu alaikum sister how about paying for everything and being expected to come home and cook and clean, whatever the children need

[@aminah761]

This is sad I know a sister who been married to a man doing 50/50 for over 30 years smh

[@sholay706]

That is what works for that family

[@Ummkelechi]

How long have you been married sister?

[@lail111]

@@sholay706 🙄

[@lail111]

Well it is her fault does he at least do 50% of the housework?

[@mazinhussein4297]

The physical strength men were blessed with is not so much an advantage anymore in terms of earning power. That is why things are different.

[@TheCastedone]

That and economic times are waaaaaay different from the Prophet times

[@nadzirahfarhah3423]

My brothers are not rich and their wives are at home

[@omowhanre]

Women want too much, they say. I say, marry the women on your level. Don’t teach for the stars. But I have a funny feeling that you may desire a posh, educated, beautiful wife from a top-tier family. Women like that cost a lot and are used to being maintained at a certain level. There are many women who will be happy to live at your standard, but are those the women that you desire???

[@mufasahm8238]

Then that desire is a standard of lust which is a trap. A man can marry for 4 reasons as we know, Beauty being one, Status being one, Wealth being one and Deen being one. If he can’t have a lavish standard woman then he must build himself to be a lavish man or else he will lust over women via social media. An epidemic we are facing currently where women’s beauty standard is getting higher from enhancing the appearance causing low class men to lust. Poverty doesn’t always been low class but poverty can make a man low class when he feels low and his desires are high. I pray we all remember, a lavish, posh and top tier woman is not always a good woman, she’s mostly Dunya. Her priority is not deen and bringing up children upon correct Aqeedah, it’s Dunya.

[@SteffiDon-b5w]

Best comment! Even better if men marry below their standards, the women will be happier living with them, as they will feel they received more than before. And it will resolve the no marriage and late marriage curse of society of today. But only men can make this decision to solve this curse. Women have to wait for the proposal and then accept from what's offered.

[@TheCastedone]

Agreed, marry the pretty girls from the hood and clean her up on a budget. Poor girl from the villages. Etc

[@hmmm4412584]

I don't understand why so many people place such hurdles for marriage. A right is a right, you don't have to act on it. Simply discuss this before marriage, if its one of your conditions great. But dont make it harder for those it may work for. There are many rights, you yourself may not want the other to act on. These roles are preferred, but are maluable. Set your expectations, goals, ambitions and work together for them. We need to work together for this ummah, to serve one another. I wish you well.

[@LaVictoria_]

Be careful of men who only want you just to share the bills and life expenses. Tbh When men require to do 50/50 with me it makes me loose any respect for him. Also it means that now my word holds the same power as him. So are both the men in this relationship ? 😂

[@MiMi-jx9wm]

What scares me is that the most "he serves" through his financial contributions and the more he expect his wife "to serve" with her free labour. It goes both way, so 50/50 can help some women to find relief from the guilt of not maintaining a four star hotel at home with hot quality meals on demand. Also, the man invests both in the akhira and the douniya while she is rewarded by Allah but has nothing in her name in the douniya after decades of marriage. Then if he asks her to stop working and stay at home she has to obey, unless she asks for divorce, which she can't easily do if she has unsufficient income. Do you see the issue ?

[@RM-kf5tr]

subhaanAllah I always thought the children go to the women, although the man might be maintaining

[@NafisasPearlz]

A lot of the time the children do end up with the mother but the father is really the one whom the kids “belong to”.

[@daisybee5943]

100 percent ​@NafisasPearlz

[@luckybrucky261]

Sister, i only watched 2 minutes of this video and I‘m shocked by the uninformed statements that you have made. 1. Children do not belong to the father, children belong to both parents. 2. In case of divorce, the mother of the child has more rights to custody than the father. Narrated by Ahmad (6707) and Abu Dawood (2276) from ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr (may Allah be pleased with him), that a woman said: O Messenger of Allah, my womb was a vessel for this son of mine and my breasts gave him to drink, and he rested in my lap. But his father has divorced me and wants to take him from me. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to her: “You have more right to him so long as you do not get married again.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

[@rohsnaoks1587]

Thank you for clarifying this, I hope this comment gets more likes l, so more people can see it

[@faheem-wani]

I’d say depends on the situation but lineage is traced from the father and men generally make more money, so it makes sense to favor them in paternity.

[@Amatullaah]

“So long as you do not get married again” but once she gets married, she can’t take the child with her to her new husband’s house. The child “belongs” to the father so she has to leave the child with him.

[@mze5622]

Let him work and provide. Sisters should just focus on looking after the home and children

[@papyjunior4780]

For a husband to do 100/0 with his wife, she needs to follow his lead. Otherwise 50/50 or whatever ratio is not against Islam.

[@TalesfromaBachelor]

The Juice just ain’t worth the squeeze for us guys.

[@A-Yemeni-girl]

أحْنْا اخْوْاتْكْ تْمْرْ ايْامْنْا وْلْيْالْيْنْا وْاحْنْا لْانْمْلْكْ شْيْ ايْنْ الْقْلْوْبْ الْرْاحْمْهّْ ضْااااقْ حْالْنْا وْضْااااااقْ بْنْا الْحْالْ وْالْلْهّْ مْا كْتْبْتْ هّْذْا الْكْلْامْ الْا مْنْ الْضْيْقْ وْقْسْوْتْ الْضْرْوْفْ انْيْ طْالْبْهّْ مْنْ الْلْهّْ ثْمْ مْنْكْ لْاتْرْدْنْيْ خْايْبْهّْ يْا اخْيْ احْنْا نْسْاء مْا نْقْدْرْ نْخْرْجْ نْشْتْغلْ مْثْلْ الْرْجْالْ رْبْيْ اكْرْمْكْمْ انْكْمْ رْجْالْ احْنْا نْسْاء مْا بْنْقْدْرْ نْخْرْجْ وْلْا نْشْتْغلْ مْثْلْكْمْ اخْيْ وْيْنْ الْانْسْانْيْهّْ ايْنْ الْاخْوْهّْ الْايْمْانْيْهّْ فْيْ قْلْوْبْكْمْ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' انا داخله على الله ثم عليكم يااهل الخير تقفوا معنا يا عالم حسوا فينا يا اهل الخير وين النخوة وين الاخوة وين الرحمه الى اوصى عليه النبي محمد بجاه النبي محمد تحسوا فينا انا بطلب منكم لو تساعدونى لو بثمن اكل مش طالبه شي غير انه نسد جوعنا ارجوكم من غير تجريح وكلام بكسر الخاطر انا يا خوان العيشة والله ما . عيشة فيكم تتاكدو يا اهل الخير انا توسل لكم ابوس على ايدكم تساعدونى ارجوكم امانه عليكم انا اعتبرونى اختكم عرضكم ساعدونى والله لول الضيق والفقر ما مديت ايدي اشحد من الناس استرونى يستر عرضكم وربنا يفرحكم في اطفالكم واهلكم ويبعد عنكم الضيق والحزن وربنا يجعل هذا المساعده في ميزان حسناتكم ساعدونى لو بثمن الاكل او بثمن اجار البيت ارجوكم يا اخواني يا اصحاب الضمير الحي يا اهل الخنوة واهل الكرم ارجوكم ساعدوني لو بشي قليل امانه عليكم والي حاب يساهم معي ربي يجزيه كل خير هذا رقمي 𝟵𝟲𝟳𝟳𝟭7591071+ الوتساب اللي يستطيع يساعدنا يتوصل واتساب معنا نعطيه الاسم الكامل العنوان ويحول لنا بما يستطيع وانا وسرتي نسالك بالله لولك مقدره على مساعدتنا لاتتاخر علينا و جزاك الله خيرالجزا ،،.،.،.،.،. ~«~//»~»/»/~» ~» ~» ~*» ✔️🇾🇪✔️🇾🇪✔️🇾🇪✔️ 🎉😢😢🎉🎉😢😢😢🎉😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@babberg9786]

If a divorce happens then all that money would be a waste. To me 50/50 is fair. People have retirements to worry about

[@allajioakland7160]

Allah soften our hearts and make us better moslems. No man should get a 2 bedroom house with the hope that his wife will chip in. Get the 1 bedroom and if she uncomfortable she should leave the marriage. But if the woman volunatrily offers to top up- do everything possible to make her comfortable.

[@mufasahm8238]

So a woman should leave a marriage out of being uncomfortable? I really hope what you wrote is not what you mean x

[@MrsDDS-123]

Yeah, he needs to step up, especially if he squeeze in multiple children in that one bed

[@sarahm4516]

he has to provide adequate accommodation according to the wifes social standing or he is isnt deemed to be providing and the wife can leave with her mahr. In the west, trying to stuff a whole family into a one bed would be below the standard of the vast majority of women. that the mans problem.

[@lail111]

If you are a failed mn who can't pay for a 2 bedroom flat then you have no business getting married in the first place instead fast and take cold showers.

[@hn1695]

@@sarahm4516they should discuss all before marriage.

[@danielaramburo7648]

Ideally, men pay for everything. But in this economy it’s extremely difficult. Both have to work, it’s the way it is. Now if she is willing to accept a lower standard of living in exchange of staying home, that’s her choice. But in life everything is a sacrifice. You have to sacrifice something. Sacrifice standard of living, time…. All choices have some sacrifice.

[@lanrelawal2532]

Excuses! Excuses!! Excuses!!! Don't be a victim to circumstances and stand strong!! There soooo many ways to make money nowadays and be independent of how society wants you to be. No excuses man! Stop blaming economic circumstances and get to work!!

[@sid-bham]

Thats all fair and well but men should help in the house too, alot of men think they shouldn't help in their OWN home, but the prophet did, are they above the prophet?

[@omowhanre]

In this day and age feminism makes sense, YET Muslim men remind us DAILY to run from it.

[@danielaramburo7648]

@@omowhanre how does it make sense?

[@amirah2369]

That's fine if you don't have want to have kids. But if she "has" to work, who is taking care of the children? Now your wife has to essentially go to work to pay someone to take care of HER kids...makes zero sense. A child is attached to the mother for at least the first 3 years of life. It's emotionally damaging for a small child to be separated from their mother for 8+ hours a day.

[@AbdullaHassan-z4p]

What happen when a man dies

[@Amatullaah]

Allaahu musta’aan

[@MrsDDS-123]

What would you say about women who want more than what the husband can afford? for example say it’s a family of four; mum dad and two children and her husband can realistically afford two bedrooms and that’s sufficient for them, but it is the wife that wants the three or four bedroom house because of her preference and desires. In the situation wouldn’t it be better that they both contribute because it’s actually the wife that’s wanting more than what he can give and to break arguments? Likewise a husband can also provide all the necessities such as the bills and groceries and essential clothing for the family. However a husband may struggle to provide outside of that , such as Tuition and clubs for the children and a holiday which is something that the wife wants. So the wife work so that She can pay for these lifestyle things which aren’t really necessary but they make life much more enjoyable and marriage much more fulfilling?

[@SS-cu8se]

I think in todays economy, to live a ****decent**** life, both parents need to work unless the mn is making 200k a year (if you live in a western country). I find that a lot of marital commentary on Muslim channels are a bit unrealistic imo. A man can only provide so much and if he doesn’t have the means to provide more, either the woman has to accept it or she can get a job and pay for the extra things she wants. My husband and I both work and I can’t imagine him providing me the lifestyle I prefer with just his income alone. I like having my own money, I like buying whatever I want, whenever I want. I like buying toys for my kids or paying for their clothes or buying things that I think will make my life easier, without even thinking about it. If I relied solely on my husbands income, I feel as though my quality of life would go downhill big time. I would feel suffocated and it would cause major marital issues. Now, some ppl will say, you should accept what your husband can provide for you. And my response to that is, by that logic, if your man can’t afford to buy you a car, you should have sabr and walk sister 😂😅 like, people are allowed to have standards for themselves and the type of life they want to live! And I don’t want to live a financially constrained life 🤷🏽‍♀️ so I work. And that’s what works for me and my marriage.

[@MrsDDS-123]

@@SS-cu8se I 100% agree with you this is exactly my life and my way of thinking too. If the husband can afford a one or two bedroom house or even three bed (depending on size of family) and expect his wife to contribute 50-50 that can’t be happening. But should they want more and the wife can contribute? I see no problem because now they’re making their life even more fulfilling together as long as they agreeing . And also I have seen real teamwork with husband and wife where a wife does work and does contribute and the husband does a good share of the childcare and even household duties.Likewise, I have no issue paying for lifestyle aspects such as kids tuition , toys, outings, take ways and sometimes healthier groceries or holidays because it will make my life much more easier and happier and like you I prefer to have my own money in order to be able to spend things on my children for my , household items, gifts for my family. I don’t expect my husband to be paying for all these “extra things“ . traditionally a man may have been able to do that and a very wealthy man could probably do that this day and age however however most of us do need a two household income(especially this day and aged where consumerism is in everything) in order to have necessities as well as things that make life much more fulfilling.

[@MrsDDS-123]

Just wanted to add to that there is a fine line between how much a woman should contribute and how much she shouldn’t. She shouldn’t have to pay for bare basics and bare minimum otherwise the husband that she married was not in a position to get married in the first place. wife’s money if she does contribute should go towards making life better and more fulfilling. She should never have to take care of her bare minimum needs that is the husband’s duty. Husband should also recognise her efforts and contributions otherwise it will lead to bitterness between the two.

[@SS-cu8se]

@@MrsDDS-123 i agrée! I think people who are not chronically online would agree with us. But unfortunately a lot of people are. I don’t blame them though. The reality is, if you’ve lived at home your whole life and never paid any bills as someone’s child, getting married and realizing the cost of living (as someone’s spouse) is a huuuuuuuge transition that people just don’t understand until they’re the ones that are responsible for their survival. But it’s just like the saying, you won’t appreciate someone’s favour until you understand what they went through to do that for you. In other words, you won’t understand the reality of life (specifically the cost of living) until you are living in that reality. That’s why we as married people should never take advice from people who haven’t lived that reality. They just don’t understand. That’s why they say unrealistic things like, a man has to pay for everything because it’s my right! As if that’s a flex. If you are going to be rigid with your expectations, you will most likely end up with someone who is also rigid in his expectations. And don’t cry when that man has no mercy towards you because “he did his duty” and “paid all the bills” but doesn’t support you in any way in the home. Marriage is about give and take, and you have to be strategic in what you’re willing to give and take. It’s a delicate balancing act between love, mercy and responsibility.

[@MrsDDS-123]

@@SS-cu8se honestly sis, perfectly said and I’m glad that we’re in discussions. I hope others learned from what we are saying because this day in and age, marriages have fallen apart because of financial differences. The level of consumerism and aesthetically pleasing housing is now on another level and in order to please our own desire we cannot expect a man to always give us everything that we want. Only a very wealthy man can give his wife exactly what she wants and regularly., but he needs to be in a very stable and high paid occupation. I’m really happy for the sisters who have got a husband like that. I know some friends who have got a very successful husband and can buy them anything but I think they are very lucky individuals be in that situation. But for those husbands more on an average income ( and todays average is 15 years ago high income and todays low incomes is 15 years ago average income), it’s not fair on the husband to be working so much just to give his wife the latest trend. She wants it she should get it through a job that she can manage. Sister Nafisa, if you are reading this conversation, I think you need to actually open your own perspective and have more discussions because it’s not very fair that the only content nowadays is that we see when it comes to 50-50 is a very limited mindset like yourself. even if she is contributing 50% that money would probably be going to lifestyle aspects and not actually bills and necessities. A wife contribution does not always need to be 50-50 it could be 70/30. It can be 80/20. Her share of finances can save marriages rather than her end up a single mum with custody issues and 100% now looking afterself (even with benefits). I think you should use a platform to actually raise more awareness and solutions around how a wife can contribute financially in a healthy manner because this is a real situation right now, which is tearing apart families and marriages. I love housewives but I also know many housewives who have got spare time and go on Instagram and social media looking at the latest social trend and get depressed because the husbands cannot provide that for them. They have opportunities to become skilled and get more education to get a job so that they can help the husband to attain a much healthier and happy lifestyle and actually make the love and marriage grow. Side note: To the sisters who are contributing towards and working loads for the ‘bare minimum’ these comments are not for you. Your man probably does need to do better. But many women are not in this situation and using ‘her rights in 50/50) unfairly.

[@Snowflake643]

I don’t want a man to except money from me in ANY possible way. I want to keep my money, he has his economical duty which he has to fulfill. I am the woman who carries the babies and mothers them. Allah made it crystal clear in the Qur’an, it’s LITERALLY ALLAH’S words telling men they’re responsible for PROVISION and PROTECTION. Period. And the wife has to respect and obey.

[@zeezee45-s9d]

Whilst I was listening to you I felt like you were talking about me! I agree with helping your husband if the there are financially difficulties as you are working together in a marriage to make life better, as long as when he is in a better financial position he doesn’t expect you to still contribute. At the start of marriage I paid for everything as I was working, he wasn’t. I just assumed he would support me once he was financially able to but that didn’t happen. He decided to save his salary whilst I carried the main expenses. I have kids so I felt like I had to, to keep a roof over their heads etc. This is not ok and not part of Islam and is in actual fact financial abuse. It has taken me years to realise I don’t have to just get in with it. It videos like this where you are teaching about what is right/wrong with the religion that has educated me. I am married to a Muslim man from a Muslim country!!!!

[@lail111]

A mn is a mn they don't respect a wn who financially supports them never do that again it is his responsibility to keep a roof over your heads, who is he saving his money for? the next wn? A man will never treat his dream wn like that so don't allow it and most importantly don't give up your womb to a mn who doesn't make you feel safe and provided for.

[@Foi-e7m]

🎉❤

[@edoz3279]

Man is responsible for ALL financial bills etc But woman must be DEVOUTLY OBEDIENT - most sisters dont want to be obedient but want all of their rights If your husband says i dont want you going here - khalas sit down and dont argue and dont resent If he says he doesnt want you do work - then you cannot work You must give all of his rights if you want yours

[@Alex-os8oz]

Ses not a slave..this is the most common argument and the resentment a lotta of men fel when the woman status that her money is hers....Rhen she should be treated like some prisoner..it sunnah to gel around the house..take your wife out for fun stuff and give her money..she dont have to work

[@MuhammadUsman-t3r]

Yes husband have a final word Islamically.

[@drmaryamazam666]

👍👍👍

[@lightofmylife2008]

I was in that type of relationship before. I thought 50 50 was the norm but i didn’t know my right as a wife in islam . He abused me financially. He was narcissists. I was married for 12 years and waa working thoughtout with expectations. To provide even with health conditions and 4 kids i was expected to provide. The day i wanted to stop the nonsense and was tired of his ways ,he saved enough money to get second wife and divorce me because i was disposable becuse i wasnt meeting his needs. Men in this day and age are not men just evil abusive narcissistic 😢

[@Amatullaah]

Subhaan Allaah!

[@namenickname45name]

what if the couple decide not to have kids then is it ok to go 50 50?

[@mimo4856]

Are you in a marriage or living with a flatmate? 50:50, even without kids just sounds like you are working to sit under a roof with a random woman/man who you can be sexually intimate with and that's it. Where do the roles and responsibilities lie? The woman will end up doing more at home like cleaning, cooking, etc unless the guy doesn't mind taking up these roles too.

[@sarahm4516]

no, men providing has nothing to with wether you have kids or not, if you have a wife you need to provide for her to have one, intimacy is exchange for maintenance. not kids

[@StarGazer-k2c]

My beautiful sister in Islam. I love you. My life has fallen apart due to shaytan and magic- I did not do this- it was done to me. By Allah my master I have never done such things. Please my sister, make dua for me. And may Allah, Lord of all the words, grant you the highest station, please my sister. I love you. And all the Muslims. I prayed today Allah makes me a way out. AMEEN. Please never give up hope of Allah, I am so blessed you are doing better than me. No God but Allah! my Lord. Ameen.

[@Zzucia]

I don't know how a man can not feel emasculated demanding a 50/50 situation. Relying on a woman to support you financially? Smh.

[@klaw1425]

The best explanation of this complex topic must be based on the Quran and the Sunna, not on emotions or cultural sentiments.

[@ebrimanjie7722]

Just in a nutshell, let's compare our modern marriage to that of 40 or 50 years back, the women were feminine, giving the utmost respect to their husbands, in return the men were giving the utmost mercy ( respect) towards their wives, almost 80% or more of those marriages succeeded. Since we started deviating from the responsibilities given to us by our Lord, we're facing consequencies, more than 60% of marriages are not working!!!. All because of vanity! Family members get involved in marriages instead of helping to build, they destroy everything! What is the problem if the wife contribute something if she works with the husband's permission, not forgetting that the man could've said no to it and instead serve him at home but provided the man takes full responsibility! Let's go back to the Quran and Sunna, be objective and exercise patience!

[@Bambotb]

Than why are you working as a woman taking jobs from other men too ? Stay at home if you don’t want 50:50

[@daisybee5943]

How can i message uou private sister?

[@Bambotb]

7:40 the solution is easy stay at home and don’t work 😂 you want something impossible and then blame it on men 😂

[@Foi-e7m]

🙏☪️😇

[@jawwad4020]

I don't think it is fair that two adults earn the same amount of money and one gets to use/save her money however she pleases, and the other can only spend his money on his duties. Don't forget that it is a "feminist" idea that men and women get equal pay for equal work, and I am all for it - however that also means you don't get men who make more money than you, unless you are strategically "marrying up" the socioeconomic ladder. When childcare and nursing come into play, however it would be nonsensical to ask the wife who's doing all that to go back to work if the husband's earnings can maintain the household. If the single income does not cover the desired lifestyle, you are unfortunate and poor - make dua and look for better rizk. Mercy goes both ways, and one person does not get to selfishly hoard all the cookies. Share your cookies, and don't do zulm on each other. It is always 50-50, but not necessarily financially.

[@sarahm4516]

I think its unfair that women HAVE to carry the baby for the whole 9 months, how is it fair, men should carry it 50 percent, do 50 percent of the birth, 50 percent of intimacy should be decided between the couple and each spouse should beautify themselves 50 percent of time... 50 percent of descions should be decided from the man and 50 percent from the woman, the man has to look after his in laws 50 percent the woman 50 percent. the man should ask permssion before he leaves the house 50 percent, and also he should breast from breast and the woman from the other breast...

[@jawwad4020]

@sarahm4516 Sister, I addressed that on the second paragraph. I said it is nonsensical to ask a nursing mother to work. Please don't misunderstand me. A woman doing all that is 50% already, no need to go beyond that.

[@Snowflake643]

Please explain this ayah: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard.” 4:34.. WHY ARE MEN DEAD IN THIS ERA?! If you’re waiting for a woman to come in your life, and help you PAY(may Allah protect us from these losers) literally you’re in need of charity, and not in need to marry someone’s daughter.

[@jawwad4020]

@Snowflake643 Soooo you think the prophet had enough money to support the household when he married his first wife? If you do, you haven't read the literature. When the lady who brought the proposal asked him why he was not married yet he literally answered he wasn't financially solvent enough yet. She then said what if I told you about a woman who has both wealth and beauty?... Want to take back the "Loser" you threw out earlier?

[@Snowflake643]

@@jawwad4020 No I won’t be taking the loser back. You know why? Because the Prophet peace be upon him said that he can’t afford to get married, because he doesn’t have wealth. See what a real man is? He didn’t say oh okay Khadija is a very rich woman, let me get the money from her let me make her give me the wealth and make me a king and the possessor of all her business. What did he say? I CAN’T afford.. i CAN’T.. then after that Khadija said no it’s okay I can afford the life for myself. she was more than willing to marry him regardless of his material wealth. She was already aware of his impeccable character and believed that he was worthy of her. But enlight us with your immense knowledge.. did Prophet peace be upon him cross him legs and never worked after he got married?! I mean Khadija was a truly rich woman, he could’ve easily done that. Plus he(peace be upon him) was Allah’s Messenger. He got to choose if he wanted to be poor or rich.. but what a great man he was. Something “males” with your mindset are far away from it. Stay away from someone’s daughter. Females won’t provide for you. No money from woman, get ur head up and find two jobs or more and BE THE MAN ALLAH CREATED YOU TO BE! Not a loser who automatically won’t be respected or obeyed to, because of his will to EXCEPT money from woman.. weak “males”.

[@Meliodas_Mk]

Why dont all the Muslim women marry the 1%? Yall acting like ur made out of gold and diamond, we live in a western world society everthing is hard, time has changed......this isn't a religion this a culture. Am only in my 20s so idk but am just saying why not marry the 1% who have soo much money 🤷‍♂️

[@lail111]

Stop making excuses there is so many ways you can make money these days get a side hustle or a second job or even move out of the west it is your responsibility to provide for your family you don't have to be the 1% otherwise stay single and take cold showers.

[@Meliodas_Mk]

@@lail111 What did I say that got u to say "stop makeing excuses, stay single and take a cold shower"? All am saying is that why not marry a man that has everything? And rather than just say men r the problem as if women r profect 🙄 just marry a man that is much older and wise than most men who r just trying to survive, not just money whise cuz there other problems men usually face, but u won't know that cuz all of u women care about is marriage, money, mansions, super cars thats it, that is the nature of all women nodays.......as if there's nothing else's happening in this world 😂

[@Meliodas_Mk]

@@lail111 what did I say was soo bad? Telling me to stay single and take a cold shower 🙄 all am saying is that why not marry someone that has soo much money and some one that is older and wiser, that's all I said. Why is it that men r the problems nodays as if women r profect? Just cuz yall get married to weird men and get miss treated and doing 50 -50 it don't mean all men want that, and time has changed, everthing is tricky right now. Not everyone has the ability to make soo much money and its not written for everyone by allah.

[@novusfortis3689]

​@@lail111I don't know much about Islam-I am learning-but you just answered your own question-based on all the solutions you just have in your comment why don't YOU do all of the above mentioned so you can make your own money instead of spending someone else's who worked hard day and night for theirs. Is this your idea of what you women like to call "strong and independent"????😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@sholay706]

I think each family should focus on what works for them. Tbis is a meaningless topic. Most of the rime women demand more than what their husband can do so she contributes due to that. A man might afford a two bed apartment but the woman wants 3 bedroom because she can contribute towards that so that family worka out what is good for them.

[@omowhanre]

So marry the women on your level. Don’t teach for the stars. But I have a funny feeling that you may desire a posh, educated, beautiful wife from a top-tier family. Women like that cost a lot and are used to being maintained at a certain level. There are many women who will be happy to live at your standard, but are those the women that you desire???

[@rubyfazil9136]

Stop making excuses for men, it’s things like this that allow them to get away with 50/50 nonsense, can a man take 50/50 of the pregnancies? Brest feeding? Or the fact women literally put their lives on the line delivering these men’s progeny.

[@sholay706]

@omowhanre Not true. Yeah woman at first will be happy to live according to their husband standard but the start demanding more depending on their environment and friends. They want a bigger house because their friends have one for example. They want a newer car because their friends have one. So they say I can also contribute towards my want that is how fifty fifty arrangements start.

[@mimo4856]

@@sholay706 so just remind them who they chose to marry - communication is key! Sounds like you have given up hope or are resenting women for asking for more. Like the commenter said, marry women on your level and don't chase women who come from rich families where there is an expectation to have a lot.

[@sholay706]

@mimo4856 yes if the Prophets wives asked for more and the surah was revealed for the Prophet wives to either choose their standard of living or the Prophet should divorce them. Women always ask for me lol. They allow themselves to be in 50 /50 as they claim they can provide too