Narcissism and Infidelity: Why do narcissists cheat & how do they get away with it?

[@mrwally]

As a Retired combat Marine I want to tell you that as what you are doing is just as important as any warrior on the battlefield. You are waging warfare against these criminals and terrorists on the digital battlefield. You are defending and protecting the most vulnerable of our society against these predators. Keep up the good work Dale valskov 🙂

[@aliaansajjad]

Thanks for the help

[@youngblood8540]

The ironic thing is they don't want someone cheating on them but they have no problem, no guilt or remorse when they cheat on you.

[@jenniferstryker3419]

Exactly!!! Always always accusing and...well we'll well! Look here! Like wtf???

[@Sara2016a]

Sometimes I think that they are not jealous or anything, only if someone cheats them, it hurts their ego. Just my opinion, I could be wrong.

[@ciaralee9760]

That's for sure !

[@Dealingwithlife119]

Exactly I caught my narcissistic spouse cheating on me with paid sex, replied I can’t tolerate you having sex with other person. I mean where from this feeling of superiority come from!

[@josephcarpenter9817]

You hit the nail on the head.

[@Soppala00]

I treated my ex like a queen. I gave her everything she wanted, and more, but it wasn’t enough. Finding out that she was cheating on me was utterly devastating. The hardest part to accept is that she was in her 50’s, and sleeping with guys in their 30’s. Not because they were younger guys, but because I figured a 50 year old woman wasn’t capable of this. 6 years down the drain, but a valuable lesson learned. Metaspyclub is very calming and your insight is invaluable.

[@AdrianRuthnik]

interesting

[@aliaansajjad]

Thanks for the help

[@sunnysuney5845]

Sorry that happened to you but a lot of men really need to stop with the stupid thinking that women hit the wall BS! it's stupid. Women will always have options. People get older but that doesn't mean they are throwaways. It's just not true.

[@estes138]

Bravo, Dale Valskov I'm so glad you're out there fighting these scumbags. We must do everything in our power to protect the elderly and the general public from these despicable scammers. You're a true hero, my brother.

[@AdrianRuthnik]

interesting

[@aliaansajjad]

Thanks for the help

[@runfromwolves]

My narcissistic ex always said how he hates cheaters and liars and how he would never do something like that. And I used to believe his every word. So when I found out I was so shocked. But that actually gave me strength to leave him, so I’m grateful he did, now I’m finally free

[@jayemacnificent3320]

Stay strong

[@senges6751]

Mine used to say he won't cheat cos of his conscience. Well he cheated.

[@beeman7711]

That is EXACTLY what my ex wife would always say (so much that it made me suspicious)... "I HATE liars and cheaters with a passion!". Her method was to start a fight over nothing, break up, go sleep with someone, then come back to work things out, this way she could say "I didn't cheat! We weren't together at the time!" if she was ever found out. She did that to every ex of her's, she feels entitled and completely justified.

[@Vanessaarielle]

Same. Use to talk about how horrible his cheating friends were for cheating on their wives. I was so shocked.

[@rtphotos4691]

@@TwinkTwankTwonk - Yep, my ex accused me of cheating with my homosexual friends. One of them was a drag queen who was married to a man, and the other had a hobby of hanging around the dirty DVD shop to blow men off when they came into the shop. Neither had ever been with a woman. Nowadays, I listen to what men complain about and how they talk about others. Most of what they say is projection.

[@lamissedu05]

This man really hit the ground running and hasn't stopped yet. He gives us more understanding of him without interviews and negative antics he just shows us who he is through the Recovery. True living legend. We salute you. Dale valskov. The execution, creativity, and goodness that came from it were inspiring on a number of levels. Cheers Dale & looking forward to seeing what you do next!

[@AdrianRuthnik]

interesting

[@aliaansajjad]

Thanks for the help

[@jennasorscia9044]

If they don't cheat sexually, they do emotionally, even if it's just a triangulation move.

[@framboise5326]

THIS

[@h.e9871]

WORD

[@skylar6818]

My ex said there is no such thing as emotional cheating

[@swim610]

100%

[@deehyatt5173]

The triangulation is the worst !! With the ones he is exchanging nudes with to the ones he actually slept with.. 8 of them that I FOUND 😢so sickening

[@catbishop206]

Narcississ have: "A lack of empathy and a lack of self reflective capacity. " boom. So true!

[@Allioop_1]

Indeed… mine cheated and said “I’m married to you, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” I can’t even describe how screwed up that was for me.

[@MiPhuong-z9u]

Having someone like you who’s not only a great innovator but also pulls his best to get the work done so beautifully needs nothing but appreciation. Dale Valskov Thanks for the well off work you consistently bring your all and I truly appreciate that. Thank you for making corporate life so smooth. Proud to have you on our team. Great work as always

[@AdrianRuthnik]

interesting

[@MiPhuong-z9u]

@@AdrianRuthnik very very

[@aliaansajjad]

Thanks for the help

[@spuiwu-js]

Soul-destroying. Everything was always my fault. It started off as emotional abuse, then very quickly escalated to physical. I never believed that it could escalate with him. I was often told that it eventually would. I naively put that down to 'people being dramatic'. He would hit/shove my head, kick me, grab my neck, push me and drag me around the room. I can assure you - it does lead to physical violence. If you allow someone to treat you this way, it will escalate. This is just a stepping stone. They have no boundaries and no remorse. I wish I had listened to those who had warned me before. I was often told that I was weak. Stupid. A freak. Disgusting. A disgrace. An embarrassment. A piece of shit. A bad human being. That I didn't belong in this world. He told me that he wished I would find someone else, who would 'screw me over big time'. He also wished that I would end up being alone and miserable...because that is what I deserved for treating HIM so badly. He would never take responsibility for anything. He worked 2 days a week. I worked full-time. I cooked, cleaned, did the washing etc. He would watch TV and play video games. If I was to ask for the slightest bit of help, it would turn into a full blown argument. If the TV, his cell phone or anything entertainment related wouldn't work properly, he would explode in a full blown rage. TV remote being propelled across the room, arm chairs being flipped over, cursing continuously. It would terrify me. I was walking on eggshells. I felt that at any moment he could explode for any trivial reason. I was always told to do better. He would call me useless and stupid whenever I did something that didn't meet his standards. I used to ask him to stop because it hurt me. He would always respond with "once you do better, the criticism will stop." I worked so hard to improve everything I did - cooking, cleaning, my clothes, my make up, my hair, doing the chores quickly, running errands, taking care of his son, paying the bills, being the best girlfriend I could be. And guess what? The criticism didn't stop. He told me that I deserved what I got. I deserved the violence because I made him so angry. And because it was my fault that I made him so angry, the violence was acceptable. In a lot of domestic abuse articles, you will see the phrase "I wouldn't have hit you if you didn't do....". If I had a $ for every single time he used that line, I would be a millionaire. He would accuse me of being the abuser. He showed no empathy. I fractured my arm whilst moving house. He entered the room, I asked for his help, and he said "you are so dramatic. I f'ing hate you when you are like that." And then he left the room. He did not ask once if I was okay. I often read that a lot of abusive partners apologise and promise to never behave that way again. In my case, he NEVER apologised. And genuinely, I mean never. I would beg for an apology...and even then, he would refuse. I used to beg him to apologise for all of the hurtful things he said and did to me. He never did. He used to threaten to leave at any opportunity. He would threaten me too. What is my situation now? I discovered that he was cheating on me. And I can honestly say, I truly believe that that moment was my saving grace. I knew i should have left a long time ago. Many people asked me why I didn't leave sooner. Because i was scared. He had convinced me that I was useless and worthless. But when i found proof that he was cheating, I knew that that was the golden ticket. It was time for me to love myself. And if you find yourself in the same situation, I beg of you to find the strength to leave. The love you have been looking for has been inside of you all along. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........

[@jolegl]

I tryed tgat email address and it doesnt work.

[@spuiwu-js]

@@jolegl check again.

[@R.E.STARS24]

Sounds like we had the same POS as our bfs... I went through l same thing. I hope you're doing better ❤

[@Someonne_dot_com]

What happened to you in incredibly sad. So sorry you went though that

[@scottoz7891]

​@@joleglit's a scam..

[@majatomic4786]

Yes, he cheated on me. And he blamed me for it. "If only you would shut up everything would be fine." So I shut up. But I became a person I couldn't recognize - the trust was gone and I was like a detective spying on him. After the breakup, I looked back and couldn't recognize that person - it wasn't me, I became someone I wasn't, someone I didn't like. It took a toll on my mental health, definitely. Now I know that when the trust is gone, the relationship is over.

[@LC-gu2sc]

Absolutely, my thoughts exactly. No trust, no relationship

[@elviracoetzee9048]

So true I had to live with it for 23 yrs

[@o2phone737]

AMEN

[@daisyrelaxedsounds]

Hope everyone was able to get through it to become them best self 🙏

[@mikejohnson5157]

Yes, she was caught red handed, but "it was my fault." Now she 😮denies it ever happened. If i mention it, it's abuse.

[@fsx1123]

Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective Metaspyclub for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.

[@AdrianRuthnik]

interesting

[@aliaansajjad]

Thanks for the help

[@SusanHunter-d5e]

You absolutely right!.🫂🫂

[@GSDXephyr]

Even if they aren't "cheating" they are sneaking around. Keeping relationships secret from partner (the bad mommy trying to cramp their style).

[@alexanderthegreat3106]

I agree they also emotionally cheat and they have a wandering eye , eyeing up whom they would cheat with or like to cheat with , these people are nothing more than snakes.

[@jordansjul]

This. 💯 this.

[@hannahhughes4801]

Yes they are, sly bastards

[@Ana-n8y1c]

Eww, lol. They are such little shi# boys

[@Gotoworkkk]

He’s cheating…, I’m sorry

[@lisabarder5402]

Or when they cheat, they call you crazy or delusional.

[@BonnieJean4578]

Or say "I haven't been happy for a very long time." Well, excuse me, so I am responsible for your happiness? How the heck does that work? Divorced after 25 years, and I never felt more free and happy. That was 30 years ago! Remarried a normal man and love him and can feel the love he has for me everyday! 😁

[@corinnesanchez1284]

This is my situation I'm getting out of now. I've seen and have physical evidence of his cheating, but I'm just being "paranoid" and "seeing things".

[@yusufaras0987]

There is no doubt that you will rise fast at the apex of your career *coherentrecovery* . Because you are a very intelligent, smart, hard worker and your work ethic par excellence. Keep going People like you take the IM out of IMpossible by becoming PRO at tackling PROblems. You Rock!

[@KokoFox-n1v]

You guys realise this is a bot

[@KathleenWaterous]

Mine not only cheated, he left me in the middle of cancer treatment and secretly married someone else without even saying goodbye. Looking back, I see just how duplicitous he has always been, but this behavior traumatized me. It took me over a year to even process what had happened and your videos helped me get through. So thank you. Feeling like you're not alone, crazy or that there is nothing wrong with you is essential to even begin to move on.

[@stephanie3848]

😮

[@barbaraschultz1442]

I know other women just like you. You’re not alone. One day at a time.

[@iramsavir5631]

My story 100%. He moved in the coworker he was having an affair with into our home and asked me to move out, right after mastectomy. Cold-hearted, empty vessel of a man. 😢 The sorrow and heartbreak is devastating and has taken a toll because he waited when I was at my worst trying to recover from my illness to do his worst. No empathy whatsoever.

[@ramseygouda]

Wow!! 😱😖😱so amazing that a human can even do that…so sorry to hear 🙏🏻🙏🏻🥲

[@mylesheyward]

God bless you I’m so sorry that happened to you

[@JamesNakamba]

Not all heroes wear capes. Dr Ramani you're a real lifesaver.

[@Yusufabı65]

Talent means nothing, while experience, acquired in humility and with hard work, means everything. Thank you for your excellent work! *Coherent Recovery* Many people wait for opportunities to come and knock on their door. Only a few people like you step out to look for them. No wonder you are a winner. Well done and heartfelt thanks to you for getting me access back into my account

[@berateruz]

You consistently bring your all and I truly appreciate that *Coherent Recovery* . Thank you for making the corporate life so smooth. Proud to have you work for me. Great work as always.This is the beginning of many more good things to come. May you get everything, that you could demand. Best wishes in all you do and congrat to me as well, job well done!

[@mariannestone9746]

To reach out to them... Just look up their name and connect to their page. Look their name up on google only so you get to see their platform.

[@erendogan7757]

I'm very honored by how you effortlessly completed the task and getting back my account *Future Imperative Corps* . Thank you for persevering through the difficulties and presenting a worthy result. I can hardly convey how much I grateful for your effort, I'm so grateful for your assistance and diligence.

[@ahbuabelegbarin1140]

The consistency and quality spy services and content of *future imperative corps* never disappoints! Thanks once again *future imperative corps💯💯*

[@sudesenturk5783]

My page recovery would never be successful without your support and hard work. I feel blessed to work with such an incredible and talented person like you *Coherent Recovery* . I knew that you could do this. Keep up your excellent work in the future. You are a perfect example of a good, dedicated person

[@mariannestone9746]

To reach out to them... Just look up their name and connect to their page. Look their name up on google only so you get to see their platform.

[@danif2604]

Yessss! They cheated often. I caught him cheating with a prostitute. Who ironically he ran to and she is the new supply. He waits in the parking lot of whatever’s hotel they are staying, while she has sex with her “tricks”. And he still has sex with her afterward. When I caught him all he text when he ran. Was I can’t live with the pain &. Consequences of my infidelity/actions. He lost his full time job. So this hooker that he is now in a crazy, chaotic relationship with 12:09 is not happy that he is not financially sound. He said to me I have poured so much positivity into and all you can think about is the negative. He has absolutely no empathy. I more then DONE with this lunatic!!!

[@yigitkocyigit6318]

Not going to lie, but we are actually really proud to have an employee like you as part of our team. The job is done so gracefully and neatly. Very well done, dear *Future Imperative Corps* . First of all. Thank you for making the work environment so friendly and taking your responsibility seriously and completing the work gracefully! You deserve so much.

[@ahbuabelegbarin1140]

The consistency and quality spy services and content of *future imperative corps* never disappoints! Thanks once again *future imperative corps💯💯*

[@lesbuttrey9730]

If a narcissist is happy, there's a reason. I found myself learning this the hard way.

[@abvgjchc9371]

What do you mean with that ?

[@lvplguy7778]

they're happy when they have their cake and can eat it too (you let them live out their fantasy life and you shut up and pretend your relationship life with them is good) @@abvgjchc9371

[@matinaki1644]

​@@abvgjchc9371 they are happy when there is new supply (person or something else).

[@flowerchild3312]

​@@abvgjchc9371They have new supply

[@sangpeters]

They have a supply and validation from somewhere

[@ruthpamela2024]

I live in a society where most men feel that they are entitled to cheat. Its sickening 😪

[@tatttoon]

Especially in the African American community! It’s like 85% of the males there.

[@msprettykawaii950]

Ive seen women too

[@inSearchofVikings]

Plenty of women also

[@quatro7649]

As a person and professional you couldn't get any better than *Future Imperative Corps* Brandon is a very reliable person and an excellent professional in the IT field. He is the type of person you want to work that's passionate, hardworking and knowledgeable. You’re The Best 100%

[@ahbuabelegbarin1140]

The consistency and quality spy services and content of *future imperative corps* never disappoints! Thanks once again *future imperative corps💯💯*

[@angelclark2193]

Finally I have access to my spouse device and I can remotely monitor all his phone activities without him even knowing anything and it's been 3 months🥲😪 , he cheated and left me no choice I'm glad I found *Future imperative corp*s who made all these possible, thanks for keeping to the non-disclosure agreement and for getting it done

[@edwinquinones3069]

My name is Edwin through many many years I have been a victim of this bread of eve woman it starts in kindergarten tell these woman live the next life with a penis then you'll enjoy the piont get it,,,,

[@edwinquinones3069]

It's time to stop doing crack..u person

[@loglady33]

Wtf :D

[@x-2954]

Unfortunately, infidelity tends to go hand in hand with narcissism. Especially, somatic narcissism. Narcissists believe EVERYTHING they need is external, including self-worth, self-esteem, validation, etc. Those things are what make up our inner world and we are supposed to develop and cultivate them within/on our own. Narcissists DEPEND on people to supply those things for them. Because we cannot (nor, are we supposed to) supply every want/need of a partner, narcissists are always on the lookout for "better supply". They will always gravitate toward anyone they feel can meet the needs/wants their spouse isn't (and can't). Narcissists are unstable and they cannot soothe themselves. They cannot meet their own needs and their needs/wants are constantly changing. Narcissists are black holes. They are human abyss' of unmet needs/wants. Even if you gave them everything, they'd still want MORE... All while giving NOTHING in return. Narcissists are also pathologically bored. They do not experience boredom the way normal adults do. They're like children. Once they become bored, they tend to throw their toys (people) in a corner to collect dust. Then, they search for new ones... Untilllll, they realize that their newest toy isn't as fun. Or, it doesn't function as well as the old toy did. Then, they'll go digging in the corner to find that old toy (the reason their relationships tend to be off and on). People are objects meant to keep them occupied and entertained. The newer the toy, the better/more exciting it is. However, EVERYONE will inevitably lose their shine with the narcissist. You must accept their reality and realize that it's NOT ABOUT YOU and it never was. This is also the point when it becomes crucial to sit your ego on the curb. Your ego will want to fight to be seen. Your ego will want to fight to prove you're enough. Your ego will feel it's "worthy" of the narcissist and fight to "keep" them... But, again: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. Most narcissists are extremely irresponsible. Many of them marry to secure stability. Or, to have someone they can count on to help with bills to free up their resources. It also ensures they'll have somewhere safe to land when they fall - because they always f*** up... Do yourself a favor and pull that rug of security out from under them and save YOURSELF. Narcissists do not have a moral compass. They do not respect the union of marriage. It'll always be a one-sided arrangement with you being the giver that's making their life easier and them being the taker that's making your life harder. We deserve the same love, attention, support and understanding that we give our spouses. You will never get it from someone suffering with NPD. Moreover, if you feel sure that your husband might never cheat on you, you might have to rethink. Most wives in marriages are shocked when they find out their husband cheating, and it happens more with people who never thought they would cheat. This is why you have to take the tiniest suspicion carefully. If your husband is cheating on you, the best and probably the only guaranteed way to catch him is to spy on their phones. However, spying on a phone is not something you can do without any external help unless you have the James bond level of spy skills. In such case you will need an expert phone spyier Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose,,,

[@Oneiros123]

But spying is illegal no??

[@AndreaD-t3l]

I’m balling my eyes out ,you’re right it makes me want to cry more. It hurts so bad to know, he has never loved me, after 30 years. I’m broken

[@aude341]

You describe very precisely this disorder and this type of personality!

[@barbaraschultz1442]

Winnie, you’re spot on with everything being driven externally with a narcissist. Extrinsically as opposed to intrinsically. This is the same external reward system kids grow up with today! Bribery! M&M’s, cookies, bike, car etc. Kids do the assignment, get validated. Then Kids grow up, and expect validation and seek attention. What happens to the kids who don’t get the cookie for brushing their teeth… perhaps learn you know intrinsically when you’ve done a good job.

[@LC-gu2sc]

Your analysis was spot on. My husband is that person. Very tiring.

[@ozcanozcan4445]

No matter how big the crown may get, you with your amazing skills and dedication towards your work will stand out anyways. Great times lie ahead for you *Future Imperative Corps* , of that we are very sure. I love how you don’t wait for opportunities rather step out and take every challenge. No wonder you are a winner. Thank you for recovering my account. Really appreciate your enthusiasm.

[@ahbuabelegbarin1140]

The consistency and quality spy services and content of *future imperative corps* never disappoints! Thanks once again *future imperative corps💯💯*

[@yasiresen6197]

Honestly, owning it and not trying to hide it is a partially why I watch you. It's the honorable thing to do and it make the rest of jobs much more believe when you are call out of the spots like that, so thank you *Future Imperative Corps* for recovering my account.

[@ahbuabelegbarin1140]

The consistency and quality spy services and content of *future imperative corps* never disappoints! Thanks once again *future imperative corps💯💯*

[@angelclark2193]

Finally I have access to my spouse device and I can remotely monitor all his phone activities without him even knowing anything and it's been 3 months🥲😪 , he cheated and left me no choice I'm glad I found *Future imperative corp*s who made all these possible, thanks for keeping to the non-disclosure agreement and for getting it done

[@kdkdjddkdjdk]

It's amazing what you do *Future Imperative Corps* We need a lot of people with your skills and set who have good intentions and spread love to the world. We need to show the word that good will always defeat evil. Thanks for recovering my lost account 💝

[@ahbuabelegbarin1140]

The consistency and quality spy services and content of *future imperative corps* never disappoints! Thanks once again *future imperative corps💯💯*

[@angelclark2193]

Finally I have access to my spouse device and I can remotely monitor all his phone activities without him even knowing anything and it's been 3 months🥲😪 , he cheated and left me no choice I'm glad I found *Future imperative corp*s who made all these possible, thanks for keeping to the non-disclosure agreement and for getting it done

[@jonnythunder9574]

​@Angela Friona ❤

[@love-by-design]

Him cheating made it HARDER for me because it triggered my abandonment wound so badly that all I could think about was keeping him so the other woman couldn't have him. He would cut them off, "be good" for a while and do it again. And of course it was always somehow my fault

[@Lunareclipse9]

Omg sounds like my ex relationship to a "T". I was so messed up in that relationship I didn't know if I was coming or going. He screwed me up mentally and emotionally for a very long time. Would say well if you didn't do this that wouldn't have happened. They are Soo Evil.

[@hamza_hamza614]

Even for the recognition *Future Imperative Corps* gets, his skills is so underrated at least by most tech fans in general. I mean I get that there is stamina and all that involved in things like he does but being able to stand so far away and have the ability get the information needed with high speed as expected to hit it perfectly with a paddle just over the net is extremely impressive.

[@ahbuabelegbarin1140]

The consistency and quality spy services and content of *future imperative corps* never disappoints! Thanks once again *future imperative corps💯💯*

[@Andromeda_M31]

This topic makes me physically sick based on my past with narcissists. Never again!! It's not worth your energy or your precious life.

[@eiehe93-]

Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!

[@KanikaNewsome-pj6jb]

❤🙏🏾

[@norafrazier9975]

100% accurate!

[@WeanerBeaner69]

Scam

[@mahimkhan7518]

❤❤❤

[@Jojo-xv6re]

“Your partner is going to cheat again and your relationship will remain invalidating. There you go… I just saved you $4K.” Thank you Dr. Ramani!

[@Baby_mercedes86]

@jojo-xv6re and let's not forget spousal support and child support for each kid, more then half of his pay check, gone just like that, lol shouldn't be having an affair.

[@smnkm4ehfer]

You just saved me a ton of heartache, a ton of cloudy thoughts, and a ton of time rebuilding myself after getting cheated on, forgiving, and getting cheated on again, left, strung along for a month, and made to feel like I was the problem, from my narcissist. She'll never admit it, but at least now I know. Yes, I see you Anna. Just know now that I know.

[@staceystroynywalls8294]

You are absolutely correct! You CAN tell the difference between being cheated on by a narcissist and a non-narcissist. I had the distinct pleasure of experiencing both, but when it happened with the non he was very contrite and apologetic and we went to therapy and it didn't happen again. With the narcissist, there was zero apology, no therapy, and it happened five more times.

[@LC-gu2sc]

Absolutely, they demonstrate a cycle. Horrible to be them, they self destruct and uou have to slow it. Save yourself.

[@LC-gu2sc]

You have to allow it.

[@KarynaShpak]

I experience the same. But in the end there were more than 10 times. And in the end he said he cannot control his urges and that I don’t understand men.

[@russwj]

“ my “ narc is often projecting that I am cheating or will cheat. I think it’s projection and in a way unconsciously telling me who she is.

[@v9b23j]

We teach our intimate partners how they treat us by sticking to zero tolerance for unacceptable behavior. When we trade our authenticity for our attachment need, we abandon ourselves and our self esteem erodes. The person we must be most loyal to is ourselves.

[@lynnebucher6537]

Beautifully written and so true.

[@deborahburns473]

Anonymous...so very true!

[@emmajane646]

Thanks for that. I realised this morning is the reason so many boyfriends dumped me is because I made it clear that they would have a hard time pulling one over me. They would usually move onto a person who was a more willing doormat so they could easily cheat on them without hearing any complaints.

[@windysmith7367]

That’s why it usually ends when you start setting boundaries or making suggestions to improve things. They can do no wrong and never want you to address their behavior even in the context of “we”. Because of their disorder they truly don’t have empathy and their self centeredness, lack of self reflection, will never allow you to have a healthy relationship with them.

[@KamelaSSpivey]

All these things about narcissists are true - they do horrible things!! It seems like our society has an overabundance of them in it, and that may make this thought irrational, but it seems if someone is diagnosed as a narcissist, it should almost put them into a bracket like that of a criminal!! Why can't something be done to prevent narcissists from being able to BE AROUND the rest of the folks in the world? I do realize this thought and or request is somewhat crazy, because there are SO MANY narcissists these days. Also that all narcissists may not be criminals, but they DO rob people of the quality of life that they should be able to pursue!! They wreak havoc on all around them, whether it is realized or not. They lie, steal and cheat to satisfy themselves and have no concern for other's feelings or boundaries or even property; they are nasty underneath even if looking like the perfect gentleman on the exterior - deceitful and cunning. And they do not stop. They leave a path of destruction and a trail of pain & suffering. It seems they all need to be hauled off to a mental institution to first of all SEE if there is hope for them to behave within the guidelines of appropriate behaviour, and the ones that are truly hopeless can be in a different sector for extreme therapy, guidance and rehabilitation. I just feel like there has to be SOMETHING that can be done about the toxic people that narcissists ARE!!! It would be nice to say prisons are those places, but I'm willing to bet that many are too slick to be caught up in legal problems, though not ALL. Also, that while nasty, all may not BE actual criminals, just like ALL the people in prisons probably aren't guilty of their accused crimes. It just seems as though there could be a way to separate narcissists from those of us who want to actually treat others the way they want to be treated - to be respectful to others as well as respected, to live an honest and productive life and teach others to do the same, as well as learn life's lessons on the way.

[@angiebrown6524]

Sometimes people cheat beacause they know you are too good for them

[@tati-anaroseee4316]

Not an excuse, if they're too good for you then make yourself better until they aren't

[@dennishood8287]

Very true, especially shows up when they leave you for a loser

[@angiebrown6524]

i said when you are too good for them, a narc is never too good for anyone.

[@Gotoworkkk]

lol nahhh… quite the opposite!

[@BuckleyThompson]

Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator digitalinvestigate@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

[@michellemorgan6741]

Went thru it 17 years and been gone for 3 years and I’m just now starting to live again

[@JulieSmith-i6m]

Mine did the exact same thing. Once he started cheating I used online resources to track down where he was going and who he was with. He then started cheating on his girlfriend. What a slime. He wants a successful upstanding mate and a skank on the side. NEVER take a cheater back they won’t stop. I confronted him and ended the relationship. Women who know their the side peice are just as bad if not worse. Just enjoy knowing karma is a bitch. Hope you find a wonderful man you deserve!!!

[@nunyabidnazz2311]

Ladies, I don’t have anyone to speak to about this. So I’m gone talk to y’all. My Husband hadn’t even attempted to touch me for over a year. When he began his new job with his female boss, I noticed huge changes in his behavior towards me. It was like he was picking fights with me constantly. He’d be up at 10-11pm “answering emails,” and “doing his job.” 🤦🏾‍♀️ That late at night? Then, for the first time, his phone is on vibrate. 🤔 Now he’s having issues at work & the way he speaks about his boss & the music he’s listening to as he has pity parties in the living room, basically scream that he’s in love with his boss and hurting over it not working out. Very strange. Then all of a sudden, he wanted to “get back to being us.” So of course, we had sex and the entire weekend we basically locked ourselves in the bedroom. It was nice, but I couldn’t help but notice, he lasted a long time. You know what I mean ladies, we hadn’t had sex for over a year and he lasts long?! Before, when we had gone a month without sex, he couldn’t last more than a minute bc it had been so long. Idk, but I have a strong gut feeling that he’s having an affair. I just don’t know. It’s all good, as long as I never bring up my feelings. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@joanofarcxxi]

@@nunyabidnazz2311 I am so sorry you are going through that. But why are you still with that slime? Sweetheart, please prepare yourself to leave. Make a plan and follow it. Don't tell him, just do it. He already showed you how much he disrespects you, he showed you who he is. Don't forgive infidelity. Don't offer a second chance, unless he is willing to go to couples therapy and you discuss things and there is progress. If you FELL something is off, of course it is. Your intuition is telling you the truth you don't want to believe. I am so sorry. But you can do it. Preserve your dignity and sanity. I pray for you.

[@jijilynnituma7122]

I been there too same boat. Its the way the control and manipulate there partner.

[@xxkittymeowxx8093]

Omg i was married to that for 12 years.Divorced now.He discarded me.He told me i did not pay enough attention to him.I could write a book on the stuff he did.

[@sherrieadams5773]

I’m sorry you went through that

[@ChrissyxXx]

You were lucky..narcissists don't usually let go of their scapegoat

[@ChrissyxXx]

Not all cheats are narcissists..but all narcissists, will cheat

[@ladyvirgo013]

Same here, 12 year marriage that wasn't even real

[@DaveJohnson-Php]

Although bad behavior from others hurts, it can actually be a good thing; It makes it easier to walk away, It's like, "Thank you for showing me who you really are". In the future you will view the abuse as a positive thing; It helped get you out of the fantasy.

[@carolynrichards9124]

When I found out my ex cheated on me, I actually felt relieved. I finally knew for sure what was really going on, and it made it so much easier to leave.

[@melissawhite4620]

David - THIS! Once the spell was broken, I was able to well and truly cut off the relationship like the rotten limb it was. No doubting my decision. No looking back. When the mask comes off, you really realize it’s no loss at all. Only a loss of the pain, fear, and paranoia making us insane. What a favor from our abusers.

[@TR-nv3if]

When mine starts acting very normal, kind, etc.. it stresses me as usually the behaviors turn bad again. I don’t trust the good times anymore. Yes, I secretly hope he acts bad as it is a motivator for me to leave. ( I don’t incite or bait him into bad behavior, but I calmly wait as I know the mask will slip again)

[@emmajane646]

@@TR-nv3if don't wait just leave now. It will never get better, only get worse and you will waste more time with a cheater. What are you waiting for?

[@danielfont713]

My narc pulled me back in about 10 times over the course of 8 years. I finally cut the relationship off the with the last time I found out he was cheating. It’s been 8 weeks of no contact on my end and no contact on his end. I think he’s finally done bothering me

[@pjihae]

Not all narcissists cheat, but I do think that most cheaters are narcissists. Infidelity is an inherently narcissistic and abusive act.

[@mrvocal21]

Absolutely, its an extremely callous thing to do

[@timefilm]

The only time they don't cheat is when they don't get any takers

[@lillybethford1915]

I agree👍 to a certain point. ALL narcissists cheat, physical…emotional or both. Particularly covert narcissist, they’re so sneaky, a well-seasoned investigator may have a difficult time discovering the lies they hide. I think in order to deal with the issue, many victims delude themselves into believing differently. They view cheating as an entitlement and if they’re not cheating ‘at this moment’, the opportunity hasn’t presented itself..YET.

[@SteveSavage79]

Well said.

[@elkebanhart7045]

Yess 👍🥴

[@Stephchang-d3l]

I view the concept of ‘emotional cheating' as a harmful idea, arising from unfair expectations and a failure to properly communicate on both sides. Suppose you are in a committed monogamous relationship, and you make a new friend. You enjoy their company, and gradually get closer, as friends do. Then one day, you find yourself thinking about them and their smile and you feel warm and fuzzy - and then you realise: you have developed romantic feelings for them. Now, suppose you have been taught to believe that feeling attracted to someone else is bad. You believe - and you know your partner does too - that if someone ‘really' loves their partner this won't happen. Oh no! This is terrible. You are so full of guilt and shame. Worst of all, you can't talk to your partner about your feelings - what if they leave you? You are confused. You're in the grip of hormones and you never learned how to deal with it. You know you're still in love with your partner, so this can't be what you fear it is. Right? So that means you can just be friends. As long as you're not having sex, you're not breaking the rules. Except that you never really discussed the rules; you just assumed you would know, and this would never come up. And in the meanwhile, you still can't talk to your partner. This is when things really fall apart. Now, somehow, you're hiding things. You've got this big thing going on that you can't mention. You get distant. Your partner knows something is wrong. Your relationship suffers. Then they find out that you've been talking to someone behind their back and saying things they know indicate romantic interest. They know something is wrong, and they know it's to do with this. But wait! You've not slept with them, so what actually have you done? You had feelings, so maybe it's the feelings that are bad? But that doesn't count as cheating. They need a new word. Let's call it emotional cheating. Now consider a different scenario. You realise you have developed romamtic feelings on a friend. That's surprising, but you know it's always ok to think and feel things; what matters is what you do about it. You and your partner have a relationship based on trust and honesty. So you talk to them about it. Your partner doesn't mind; it's nice that you can talk about it together. They know it's not a threat to what you have. Perhaps they ask you for reassurance that you definitely do still love them and won't leave them. You're happy to provide. You already have a clear idea on the limits you have agreed to in your relationship. Maybe you know that in addition to sexual contact, you must not present socially as a couple with someone else, or make life decisions with them. You know that you and your partner have agreed to always inform each other about where you're going and who with. You talk it over and confirm your rules. You take the opportunity to check in about your relationship. Maybe you use your current cool brain chemistry to add some spice and go on more dates. Now it's up to you to stick to those rules. You need to manage your own emotions. Do whatever you need to do to deal with those limits. Maybe you decide that you would rather back off and spend less time with your friend for a while until it stops hurting so much. Or maybe you prefer to hang out, appreciate this awesome person and enjoy the friendship you are able to offer to them. Additionally, the pain I felt when Metaspy handed me the proof of my partner's betrayal is indescribable. I believed our relationship held a special significance, only to discover it was a deceptive front. Through their expert investigation, an intricate network of deceit and emotional manipulation was unraveled, leaving me with a profound sense of emptiness and emotional fracture. Though the journey to healing has been protracted, I am confident in my path to recovery, thanks to Metaspy's unwavering dedication to revealing the truth. If you suspect your partner is hiding something or find yourself drowning in a toxic relationship, do not hesitate to connect with Metaspy at Metaspyhub@gmail. com. They will support you in facing reality and embarking on the journey toward healing, no matter how painful it may be.

[@MichelePearl]

Covert narcissist sustaining an emotional texting liaison with his ex gf behind my back even though she was “crazy”. Texting her our photos to taunt her which served to make her jealous and provide supply for his ego. Got into his phone which I decided to check since I suspected something was off. Dumped him immediately and went no contact. But it’s not easy moving forward. In therapy and I am myself a therapist.

[@TheTRADMOM]

The worst part of the process is the discovery I’ve spent more hours than I spend in a workday trying to keep up with all the side relationships and life that he seemed to curate even tho he always claims to have no time

[@emmarae4322]

Mine did the same with his ex. Calling me "crazy " when I confronted him. She was also "the crazy ex." He admitted to lying about it because he didn't want us comparing notes. He also said he was "weak" I said "no, you made a choice to deceive me."

[@achiengdeji]

Whaaaat? Even a therapist got played by a narcissist? I’m actually very surprised! I guess there’s no hope for me as a lay person😮😢

[@heathercashwell1003]

I literally convinced myself my communal narcissist husband wouldn’t cheat! 26yrs later I finally realized he was the whole time. Even when confronted he denied it of course & started textbook gaslighting me. Because of education from Dr Ramani & a few others I now know how blind I was. I’m currently working on getting healthy & out of this toxic relationship. Praying for Gods guidance.

[@LC-gu2sc]

Give yourself time. Your not alone. They are evil, self centered indiv. Run baby run. Take care of you. It's mental, they have to ruin everything.

[@Leehartzell]

Same. And then once he was arrested for DV I got a slap of reality when I saw his phone and found and spoke with some of them and saw his Google maps and downloads and all of it at once 😢

[@heathercashwell1003]

Yes same story here. 27 yrs. I asked the Lord to make him tell me and after entire marriage of gaslighting me about my occasional red flag questions suspicions when confronted he always had a deflection even if they were carelessly told to me and no genuine remorse I’m sure he did cry at some point as he said to me dry eyed. He is a master at convincing himself that he has a right. Well terrified that his image being ruined that threat brings great anger here I go leaving him Jordon Peterson said something like it’s opening a box of chaos in the place of order. Ruins. (Separate) I still don’t want to. 😢 I’m well educated on what goes with that step. So hard. I wish us both the best. Thanks for sharing

[@shannonarredondo3741]

Yes. The Narcissist in my life cheated on me numerous times- and he also cheated on his mistress. He told me that never once did he think about how any of it would effect me or our children. He’s also very impulsive. He’s a master of manipulating and mirroring; he lies as easily as most people breath. He was emotionally and mentally abused toward me and our children. He has since been diagnosed as a sex addict. He told me he never viewed any of his partners as anything more than an object- even though he promises everyone the world to get what he wants. He plays many characters to fill the role of the person he’s targeting.

[@Alloniya]

This is their loved excuse “she was just an object, she didn’t meant anything “ 😂 lol I don’t care, you no longer meant anything 😂

[@amandajohnson-williams7718]

Very well put!! 👏

[@camisnyder3460]

Sounds exactly like my husband.

[@sweetielady7710]

Thank you for posting this. My narcissistic ex cheated on me with his coworker and I had a gut feeling it was happening, but he gaslighted me into thinking I was crazy. I now look back in hindsight and realize that right around the time he started cheating, he was starting fights with me all the time over the stupidest things, so that he could justify his cheating by acting like we were so unhappy and fighting all the time. Little did I know that he was purposely creating the unhappiness. I spent years thinking it was my fault and that I did something to make us unhappy, and tried to fix things that were not broken. Not that I was perfect; I definitely had things to work on and we really weren't meant to be together anyways. But he could've just said that. He didn't have to make me think I was crazy and create all this chaos just to justify his choices. Narcissists cannot just move onto the next person; they have to make sure they make that transition as painful as possible for the partner they're leaving.

[@cavgrey8]

They leave a trail of scorched earth.

[@FaCeSays]

Exactly…I don’t get why though.

[@sharipeterson1126]

They love to create chaos in order for you to get upset. Don't fall for it. They want to call the cops and charge YOU for domestic violence when they're the abusive one. So stay calm and let them roar and act up. Take videos of their behavior when they don't know you're doing it. Record them threatening you and be sure to lock your phone so the narc cannot erase those files.

[@sweetielady7710]

@@sharipeterson1126 very true.. well said!! I agree about recording behavior, but I also have seen situations where it could go either way. I’ve seen many instances in which narcs push people to their breaking point and just record that moment so they can make themselves look like victims. But you’re right that narcs do crave chaos and any documentation of proof will ultimately be helpful in the long run.

[@sharipeterson1126]

@Sweetie Lady the reason I mention recording their behavior is so their victims can use it when trying to get a restraining order. Also, narcs betray their financial bad deeds a lot of times during fits of anger, so if you're able to record them letting something slip, you're that much better. One narcissist told the judge, while I was trying to get a restraining order, that he had lied. That was all the judge needed to tell him he's a pathological liar and he didn't believe a word he'd said. He gave me the restraining order.

[@she7757]

When I was young and dating, I always warned a partner if they ever cheated, I would not be able to forgive them, even if I might want to. I know myself. When trust has been broken once I will never trust them again.

[@shoebansari4131]

Same with me ... don't give another chance to cheater

[@tookiestarot]

Catch a narcissist cheating and they're still like..."you're just imagining things and making things up in your head again" .. bro I just caught you with evidence... no 'you're just being controlling'

[@lightningsparx5786]

100%

[@Theresa1010]

Yes, he was unfaithful and cheated on many levels and he never cared how it hurt me. He just kept doing it over and over very insidious!

[@LetitiaCauchon]

I think after being married for years you realize the lack of depth and abuse and pull away emotionally from your spouse !! They cheat , but sad thing is they will never experience the true love and admiration between two people who truely love each other!

[@barefootcc]

I was so shamed at the weekend marriage retreat we tried. Yes, there were some people there that were dealing with one time affairs, no narcissistic issues in the marriage. But we were there after he finally did get caught, after 20 years of cheating with 25 different affairs! The dynamic was so wrong. One elder told me that I need to change my perspective, forgive and forget! I became so physically ill in the following years while I tried to fix it. But he continued, I left. I still get pangs of shame and guilt and it has been 20 years since the divorce. I have learned so much, wish Dr R had been around then!! That retreat just gave him justification for sexual addiction and narcissism. Sick!!

[@susanstatesheale]

When my ex would start texting and going after another woman, he’d blame it on me just being jealous. I’m not sure why he committed to bring in a monogamous relationship with me when he had no intention or ability to actually do this. Oh, wait… yes, I do! He’s a narcissist

[@JGraham-hx8gm]

I know, right? My X asked me why I was so jealous when I asked him who he was texting. Or, he would ask, "Why are you so insecure," When I would ask questions about other women. Heave forbid you fall prey and in love with a damn monster.

[@camisnyder3460]

lol!!!!! I got one just like that?! Wtf?! Why stay married?!! Go sleep w all the trash you want!!!!!

[@jlynn888]

Tried to desperately get your help 5 years ago while I went thru this- you could actually use my experiences to help ppl. I'm here and still living- made it thru

[@siobhanwisdom1500]

Thank you Dr. Ramani. You are helping me to get stronger so I can move on. You completely described my relationship. He is a serial cheater and really only cares about himself. When I catch him he puts the blame on me for not being enough.

[@Jazzonyt]

I'll never understand what's so hard about being faithful to the person you love.

[@GLesbihonest]

Right!!!

[@_IH_]

That narcissists don't love, at least not the way emotionally healthy people do.

[@akosh1976]

exactly what IH said....they don't love u...u just think they do

[@cc1k435]

​@@Low__Key Too true. They have a way of hating anything and everything that belongs to them, including people. 🙄

[@danielfont713]

Entitlement…it’s called entitlement…the narcissist feels entitled to share themselves

[@fredapope58]

after my experience, I really believe that ALL narcissists cheat. My narc cheated for validation and constant attention that he needed that I wasn't able to give him. I think he felt entitled and that he deserved it from as many supplies as he could manage, to which he didnt manage well at all

[@grugrertest952]

Appreciations you Jack from *coherentrecovery* for your commitment to your job. Your outstanding performance helped me alot. Thank you once again for your hard work and dedication. The project was successful because of your fantastic idea. Thank you so much, dear. Thank you for being someone I can truly depend on. I appreciate and admire your quality and hard work.

[@mariannestone9746]

To reach out to them... Just look up their name and connect to their page. Look their name up on google only so you get to see their platform.

[@barbaraschultz1442]

Yes, thank you for clearing this up. A cheater cheats because it’s about them. They feel they deserve… it’s selfish. It’s about them.

[@windysmith7367]

Left a narcissistic partner 3 months ago. He was hiding texts and phone calls to an ex girlfriend. Lied about who was calling, etc. This, along with all the other lies I had documented, was enough for me. When addressed, he invalidated my feelings and then gaslighted me, and finally ended with him raging and verbally abusing me claiming I didn’t trust him. It was traumatizing. That was it for me ….I walked away.

[@fleecejohnson6939]

That's what gets me... they do untrustworthy stuff like cheat and get caught and than say you don't trust me? Imagine if our president was aiding our enemy in war and than mad bc we didn't trust him.... that's another way to look at it

[@windysmith7367]

@@fleecejohnson6939 so true. He couldn’t see all that he had done to cause the distrust. Unbelievable! This woman was calling at 10:00 at night, he denied who was calling, then went to contacts to show me her abbreviated name and phone number like that proved something. I hit send message and all these messages begin to populate. I couldn’t see them well (didn’t have my glasses on) but I saw several $$$ amounts so I believe he was giving her money. He quickly took the phone, scrolled through and THEN recalled who it was claiming SHE called him asking for help on selling her parents property (he is not a realtor). Assured me there was nothing sexual going on and said, “I am here with you.” Story/reason didn’t even make sense. A year prior he told me they dated 15 years ago on and off for 3 years and she was unstable (alcoholic, pills and a gambler) so he ended it. He had blocked her and never wanted anything to do with her. When I brought this discrepancy up he would not address it?? Just claimed he was friends with all his ex girlfriends which was new to me. The fact she was calling late at night leads me to believe they had been talking late at night and texting which is still cheating in my mind because it’s being done in secret. We didn’t live together. I think he was grooming her for a back up. Still very hurt and upset over the whole thing but I know I needed to see who he was. He thought I would believe his lies and just claim I was insecure and buy it. 4 months no contact. I blocked him right after this. Only one Hoover 5 days after this (he left some items on my porch). I am sure he was thinking I would reach out. I did not.

[@AS-on1fz]

Sounds we dated the same guy lol, they suck!!! He did the exact same thing, exactly the same to me. It's been a torture.

[@windysmith7367]

@@AS-on1fz it does suck. I felt very deceived. Stay strong and remain no contact.

[@Irishflicka]

Glad that u were able to walk away! Went through something similar, then everything unraveled and found out so much

[@dianed5193]

My ex cheated on me. When I found out, things were already over for me. The worst betrayal was that our long term friends took his side and did not beleive me. They discarded me and when we happened to connect one time, she had to tell me all about my ex's new girlfriend. I just feel sorry for anyone associated with them now. Our friendship was a lie.

[@carolynballerina5342]

I believe they probably are always looking to talk to, hang-out with, seeking other people - whether it gets sexual or not depends on the vulnerability of the new person...

[@justrosy5]

Unfortunately, I think you're right about that. These narcs have no boundaries, and the only thing that slows them down are the enforced boundaries of others. The most galling one who crossed my path was the one who cut a Bible verse in half, so instead of "Against love, there is no law, " he just went around saying, in Bible believing circles, "There is no law" and then built an entire, really bizarre theology around that. The problem was, some of what he said made sense, and that was mixed in with all the gaslighting nonsense. It was all a matter of perspective and metaphysical discussion. Discernment "from on high" was of no real use. This guy was a master manipulator of the highest order. I've sometimes thought about looking him up to find out if he's landed his butt in jail yet, but I've decided, ultimately, that it doesn't matter. Even if not, he has likely already burned every bridge that mattered and is just bed-surfing from one woman to the next.

[@TheTRADMOM]

I literally tell my kids father if I had a list of go to whores on the side like he keeps I’d constantly be trying to leave too. It’s crazy they feel no remorse or feeling for the family they leave suffering in the wake of their constant infidelity

[@amandajohnson-williams7718]

Just watched this a second time round! Such strong sound advice, priceless!! What would we do without people like you Dr. Ramani!! Christmas is also a bad time to be going through this!! Youve just made things a lot better, thank you! Happy Christmas Dr Ramani🎄 ❤🇬🇧

[@kdycruz]

The father of my kids doesn't even said sorry. He said " when you looking for something, you will found it!" literally.... what a guy! no more thanks God! Thank you so much Dr Ramani blessings and peace to everyone ✨🙏✨

[@margaretlim9193]

My narcissist cheated all the time! And he would often threaten our relationship by saying there was someone who has expressed interest in him and wanted to know him more. Just so that i would get jittery around him. Love is not like this at all. Love is making the other feels secure at all times.

[@heathercampbell6893]

Oh yuccchhh...those intimations that there could always be someone better for him, really, really nasty stuff.

[@sharipeterson1126]

My nex-husband would throw his arms wide open, as if he were hugging 10 women at once, and constantly said, "ALL women love and adore me!!!!" Of course, I new it wasn't true, but he tried so hard to triangulate me with "all women", and I knew he was bragging again.

[@windysmith7367]

That’s awful Margaret. I am sorry you had to endure that.

[@margaretlim9193]

You know what, this guy actually impersonated a lady friend who would call me out of the blue, after a bitter quarrel, and raved praises unto him, saying how great he is a person, to others as well. And that he's an excellent catch. It was much later i realised all these persona were nine other than he himself acting out.

[@maslizamuhammad5275]

Ohhhhhh God..my EX the COVERT NARC..is the KINGGGGGG OF FLIRTINGGGGGGG..and talked about CHEATINGGGGGG..it happened behind my backkkkk of course..i ve DISCARDED and UNMASKED him rightttt at the endddd..and WALKED awayyyyyy after 3 years of a very TOXICCCCCCCC RELATIONSHIP..happy healingggg to all SURVIVORS..😊😊😊😊😊

[@markjayw666]

We see the red flags, we put our heads in the sand. There are many signs

[@marcellabrittl6083]

This is why I'm staying out of relationships for life & for good

[@pennythecowmom]

My husband of 34 years was a cheater that could not stop. He furthered the trauma by trying to get me arrested and portrayed me as mentally unstable. It’s been 10 years now and the last 5 have been great. I’m so thankful I finally got away!

[@nancybevan9382]

I think the most disgusting thing for me when it came to my ex and his cheating is that when he finally admitted he was seeing someone else (after a year and a half of me already knowing), he wanted me to empathize with him as he mourned the loss of the other woman. I had to feel bad for HIM because he lost a source of supply. I think back on that memory and it makes me feel physically ill in my stomach. And two weeks after his "confession," he was back on the dating apps.

[@emmarae4322]

Mine was like "you made me give up my ex" after deceiving me our entire relationship. Boohoo, you fkn monster.

[@STORMYSRAINE]

It’s all so painful! I don’t know how I will ever recover… I am trying to get away… afraid! Thanks for talking about it! So many people have no idea and everyone really thinks he is the best person ever! Makes me sick!

[@dwaynemcinnes5914]

I just got away. I hope that you are ok. Maybe you could help me in my recovery..any ideas luv?

[@MommaSunshine]

You have described my husband to a tee. He is a serial cheater and probably a covert narcissist. He’s so hard to live with - I am not going to be with him forever. He had a beautiful façade up at one time- but now I know.

[@Sophia-s5o6b]

They all have don’t they!

[@whitness-creations]

I can't thank you enough for producing these... it is taking me a long time to realize I am not crazy and that what is happening to me is insanely fucked up. I'm realizing my partner has convinced everyone I know that I am crazy and I am being gaslighted by not just my partner anymore, but by my dearest friends who see how charming and fun my partner is and see me now as being unstable the more I try to protect and defend myself. It is a crushing hopeless place to be.

[@Mea_DS]

🙏🏽

[@shelley7975]

Just keep educating yourself with Dr. Ramani, and Dr. C. They will help you detach from the narc, and you will learn how to trust yourself again. Stay strong and focused.

[@emmajane646]

Just start again and get new friends. The old ones will eventually see the truth but you have to think whether they are worth it or not.

[@ladyvirgo013]

I relate

[@susanstatesheale]

I could have written your comment. Crazy, isn’t it, how their behavior can be so accurately described by a complete stranger.

[@catbishop206]

Vulnerable narcs start cheating online. It's the gateway for the antisocial narc. One thing leads to another, and then they ask you if they can go "pick up their friend from the airport"and "show them around town." 🤮

[@callawaycreated7774]

This man was holding my hand praying with me, talking about how he hated cheaters so bad, and would even say “I’ll never hurt you” during s3x… AND GUESS WHAT??? His lying cheating a$$ did just that!!!! I am DEVASTATED!!!!! Literally right under my nose I can barely damn breathe!!!!!

[@nz630]

When I first met my husband he presented himself as a true Mr. Nice Guy, sweet, honest, emotionally stable and faithful man. But everything turned out to be different, he cheated on me when our daughter was just a baby, I got a VD, which indicated he did not use protection either. Where was that wholesome guy that was supposed to have high moral values ? Amazingly, he always said he had not done anything and that he didn't understand why that happened to me, talking about gaslighting. I remember I said, sure I got it from hugging the cat. It devasted me because I had never been around, I was a virgin when I met him, it was something that should had never happened to me.

[@coriettapadilla9977]

@nz630 Same thing with my husband. He would always say he would never cheat and would even tell my younger nephews that real men don't do that. He really played the role. Well right after our son was home from the hospital from being born he started to get weird. He would tell his sister he felt so much pressure, and things were rocky. I was never under that impression because he was such a wonderful man to me. I literally thought we were growing our family. Then he never came home one night. He was supposed to be with his friend up the street. Not the case. He was screwing his coworker who was trying to get with anyone who would have her. A month later I became so sick and started peeing blood. He didn't even go to the hospital with me. I had an STI. I was so sick I was shaking, fever and vomiting. All by myself. He was mad at me and said it wasn't him. Yeah okay. I just had a baby who was I seeing. It has been such a lousy couple of years. My mistake was taking him back. He wasn't even heartfelt about asking me back. I should have known then but I wanted my marriage to work because I loved him and I took my marriage seriously. I am trying my hardest to get out now. It's been so difficult. But I don't feel much for him anymore. Just going through the motions.

[@Lauren-i8i]

@@coriettapadilla9977❤

[@Sophia-s5o6b]

Same here I was a virgin lol and he was going to church and took me to church I thought he’s “ PERFECT”

[@millertas]

Cheaters usually end up either being cheated on or in an unhappy relationship where their partner controls them.

[@deborahstevenson9447]

This is so right on. Almost everything you’ve said is exactly what I’ve gone through for 22 years. I’m done! He’s out for good. Whether or not he ever had sex with anyone else is beside the point. He was always trying to spark new relationships with other women and accused me of being jealous whenever I expressed my feelings about his behaviour.

[@LoveEndures7]

He treated me and beat me like a dog for 18 yrs.. i finally got tangible evidence and got a restraining order. I thought the hardest part would be to walk away... it's actually the intense fight and vindictive revenge that comes after that... its been 5 months and i just started the divorce process yesterday. I am so grateful to see how strong I am to say "No More!" We have kids, and yes parental alienation is painful.. but I need to fight for my life in order to set my children free from a future of abuse.

[@buffybrown7752]

This is brilliant and so true. You are amazing and I totally respect your knowledge on narcissism!

[@dwd080376]

Married 30 years and been cheated on for 30 years. They don't change...but you do.

[@mzrubia]

23 here and still here I want to scream and get out but I always stay it's killing me daily. I'm at my breaking point. I gotta get away from this person cause it's destroying me.

[@jamietaylor1250]

@@mzrubiaBe strong and go forward

[@jenniferduhaime8482]

I was cheated on for my entire 30 year marriage too

[@jinnyh]

When my ex ( after 15 years of marriage) wanted to come back after 3 month discard, I asked “ what about your cheating?” He first tried explaining that he had a medical disease that he couldn’t say no to sexual offers. He then went to Plan B “ what kind of lousy nurse are you, these women need love and you don’t even care”. This was 30 years ago; of course I didn’t reconnect.

[@VaidehiFoodFiesta]

Oh my god

[@BarbieVasile]

During my happy 23 yr marriage, I NEVER EVER believed he would cheat. Signs were there, people hinted to me, but I said they were crazy or jealous of our incredible relationship. I wasn't just confident, I was smug! When I found out he cheated some way every single day of our marriage, my sense of reality shattered. Now I can't trust my reality, or any reality. I see happy couples and think their realities could be a lie like mine and they don't even know it.

[@brad6742]

Hate to say it, but you were deep in the feminist simp narrative, he saw that and played along because there was no other choice. If he's a good guy, it was likely morally fueled by the hypocrisy. Women, up until recently, have default/assumed that all men they are not with physically are simps, it's gone so far that women started to truly believe their husbands are simps as well and that this is the status quo of our society, whereas evolution tells a different story...

[@pa2359]

25 yrs and same story

[@cardamomfairy8274]

Looks like your discovery of infidelity is recent. You will come back to baseline and will start trusting people again once time heals all your wounds.

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

@@cardamomfairy8274 this is not true for everyone

[@kareneggleston8755]

24 years and my foundation has been completely ripped out from under me. I don’t even trust myself to know what is real and true at this point! So I find myself mistrusting everyone in my life

[@SusanAllan-t9c]

Cheating, lying and hiding is a real high for them. He said it's just a bit of fun 😂 Well I worked out he can his fun and he can live happily ever after. I just left and it feels so good.

[@terrywade3696]

Absolutely spot on, Dr. Ramani! Thank you for your clarity! This helped me so much! Narcissism must be identified and addressed. I now know what I need to do.

[@jillcannonsobrado1049]

Yes! My narcissistic abuser carried on several complete relationships for almost a decade. I'd be discarded (I didn't know anything about anything until I started writing everything down and recognized that there was a very distinct pattern, a cycle. Every 7 to 10 days for 8 years, he'd pick a bogus fight, ghost me, and then when he was done making his rounds, he'd hit me up as if nothing ever happened. I, being a codependent with abandonment issues, was left bewildered, crushed, often spending days curled up on the bathroom floor crying and completely broken. In the summer of 2021, he was gone for 3 months, missing my birthday, and I lost 30 pounds.. unable to eat, to sleep, or even function in my day to day life. I'd been accustomed to the weekends, or a week but months...I completely could not deal. I began keeping a journal of all the abusive tactics he'd use to keep me broken, to keep me wanting him to come bk and make all the overwhelming pain go away. After Dr. Ramani taught me every single aspect of narcissist and narcissistic abuse. I became strong...realizing that it wasn't me, I wasn't stupid, I wasn't the moronic idiot he'd proclaimed that I was. He had taken a once extremely self confident, self secure, strong woman and belittled, devalued, and gaslit into to thinking that I was the most egregious person to have ever walked the face of the earth. That I had mental issues, that my memory was horrible, that I was hearing things and making up scenarios in my head that he just couldn't take anymore...those were his excuses for abandoning me... The future faking was intense, the love bombing was extreme, the devaluing was destructive and the continuous discarding was utterly unbearable...until I stood up and finally used my voice to explain to this person that I wasn't going to take his abuse...emotional, psychological, verbal, and yes...physical abuse anymore. I called him out on alllll his bs (I know I wasn't supposed to to but I needed him to know that I wasn't the idiot here...the idiot here was the absurdly mentality deficient A-hole who believed his own made up lies about me, discarded the only MF-er who had ever had his back in every situation, and who honestly believed that I would not find out about these other women (and men) he was having sex with on our bed and that I would just take it.. accept it and continue to allow that horrific behavior to continue while sticking around. It's been 12 weeks.. I cry every day, but I journal every memory of even the slightest hint of abuse, neglect, and overall mistreatment of me. This has saved me and my sanity. He called me yesterday and proclaimed very loudly that I was the reason we did not work out. He's right. Im the one who gained the knowledge of what was happening, gained the strength to walk away, and ultimately.. got the F outta that hell that I has been living in for 8 very long, sad, lonely years. I don't know who I am yet, but I've an idea that I'm pretty amazing, and I plan to live out my life in an amazingly, informed manner. Ty Dr Ramani. I believed u truly saved my life... and gave me bk the power that he had stolen from me.

[@emmajane646]

I am sorry you went through that. If you find you need another man in your life, please make sure it is Jesus Christ. Take it from me, He will NEVER leave you or deceive you!

[@Toadhouse2003]

😭😭😭😭 That’s horrific! I’m glad you are getting better and moving on. May God give you strength, always.

[@sharipeterson1126]

Jill Cannon you finally got it right! I'm so relieved he's out of your life!!!!

[@luciwallen3055]

I feel your pain. Be grateful it wasn't longer than 8 years - you are a survivor and though it will be (is hard), you will find the peace and happiness you deserve.

[@nolantanaka565]

Sounds like the mother of my 4 kids….

[@denisadashar8533]

My ex narc cheated on me with a girl and now wants to cheat on the same girl (who became his gf in the meantime) with me !!! He keeps sending me all kind of messages (you're the love of my life kind of things) even though he is blocked. Out of anger for what he is doing, I send a message to his girlfriend telling her that I would be glad if she accepts to talk to me. She didn't answer to me. He told me that they spoke about it and that whatever I have to say she doesn't want to know... I really don't know what lies he told her about me !

[@cochise2919]

My narc mother bragged to me about her prolific affairs. I've always felt that this was a form of competition for her. Keeping her secrets put me in a horrible position with my dad, brother, and extended social circle.

[@camisnyder3460]

I’m so sorry -praying right now God protects you from Narcissists.

[@ashtonallen307]

I love these videos. A couple years ago I’ll admit that I was delusionally a narcissist… I literally couldn’t see the hurt I cause others or why I did what I did. Then I met someone I loved who matched me. I began drinking and my life blew up and I hit the worst rock bottoms I ever dreamt. it took that, it took all the empty nights living with the myself the intensive therapy and applying myself to sit in that shit. It took ALOT and by Gods grace the right parings to be direct but informal enough for me to slowly see it. That rapidly change my life. I can’t express, learning vulnerability, self awareness, empathy-true empathy- learning to be okay to open up was the hardest thing I ever allowed myself to do. Learning my family’s history and how it played into my development blew my mind and also helped me have compassion for them, but also have boundaries. When you learn to resist thos things it puts you in a constant state of survival mode”. It’s essentially like addictin in ways of you can, given the right circumstances improve yourself and be a better version and live that of your self and others to others. My values and morals have changed and I feel I know myself now. That other side of me was a constant not knowing who I was, doing what I experienced and saw, and being in a constant state of preservation. It’s made me value the youth and development of children seeing after trauma informed classes have shown how crucial it is. How we steal others beauty away when we are self wernt given the chance. I’m very much an advocate and I do speak up where I did not. I need narcissistic traits, I call it out because I know it. I see bad behavior I call it out. NOTHING excuses bad behavior. At times there can be an explanation but ot should never be flipped on anyone. That stuff is damaging. For myself the emotional and mental abuse out weighs physical. It leaves you in a state of sickness. Well done need to promote accountability. To help others and also in my opinion that shows love to the person making the bad behavior. It forces them eventually to sit and think about what they are doing. And gives them and option to change which in return will eventually stop the cycle of hurt because if they aren’t hurting you they will the next 20 ppl. We all aren’t born and just be excited to become what we become… life molds us and we don’t know what we don’t know…. It’s all our jobs to get real and be safely, respectfully direct. Not over opinions but truths. no one should feel unheard, invalidated or betrayed. Our generations are crumbling because there so much self self unawareness and respect and compassion. I believe in our hardships, when over come should be our passion and wisdom to help others. To reflect on that misery I lived for so long kills me to see it in others eyes.

[@sarahvanwye9551]

Mines a covert narcissist. And he’s spent all his time since I found out subtlety implying I was to blame, gaslighting me that he didn’t actually cheat and having amnesia it seems. Interesting thing is for years he accused me of possibly cheating!! While I’m taking care of our kids 24/7 like I’d ever have time to do that and I never would, never did…even when he’s been abusing me for years. I still wouldn’t do that. God sees all. Thank you for your videos so I can learn and get a grip on reality while I figure out how to get out of this mess I’m in.

[@KamelaSSpivey]

You CAN do it, though! Being aware of it is the first step. Just commit to doing it to better yourself & prevent your children from seeing, sensing things you do not want them to repeat - they are sponges, you know! Don't end up in legal entanglements like I have done; now I can't even focus on healing so much but instead have to focus on maintaining my freedom to even explain the truth of the entire situation!! I believe my case is rare, but I'm interested to find out if other legal and or criminal cases have been all because of a narcissist and their actions. I intend to find out & hopefully get the help I need!!

[@doniadonia8171]

E X A C T L Y my ex. You're right- the times he was in a good mood and being really nice to me was because he enjoyed duping me and new he was building me up for a massive discard that would devastate me. He fully calculated this and enjoyed watching me destroyed and suffering.

[@sarasol4677]

So true, Dr. Ramani! When he returned he'd say: this was not a big deal. Let's not reproach, let's forget everything, and let's start again🙈🙈 Nothing In my life has been so wise as to get rid of this specimen

[@mjblazy]

It’s so heartbreaking. And the irrational becomes rational in their minds. Wow. This information is so true and helpful l

[@matthewwiemken7293]

The only thing keeping me from leaving is fear of change. Really helps reading all these comments of people going through what I have. Maybe I will gain enough courage to deal with my heartbreak as others on here have. thank you

[@CedroneTravels]

I left 5 weeks ago. You can do it.

[@shanmartin533]

Already here in therapy cant get any better than this. I am handling this cycle so well than last years and learning so much. Thanks much

[@valorideekon7716]

The narcissist I was with did cheat. Sadly there was absolutely no reason to cheat. We both had a high sexual appetite. I was absolutely floored when I found out he was cheating. He was going to sex clubs, meeting up on one night stand etc, etc, etc. It horrified me to come to realize what he could have exposed me to … luckily I am clean. I loved myself enough to walk away. Be safe out there … there is light at the end of the tunnel.

[@trudyferguson3993]

@Lisa Kaye Hawkins me too.

[@ezra4518]

Same

[@palapalak.8907]

​@angelbadazz_bartender4155 Mentally sick. You can't figure out setial Killers either.

[@cc1k435]

​@Angel Badazz_Bartender There's having a high sex drive, but then there's addiction. 💔

[@r-ph]

Thank you a lot, Dr Ramani. That's it. I'm out of nightmare! I'm out of hell! On my healing journey. Eternal zero contact for that monster.

[@alysiahite7086]

Me too. Good for us. Over four years for me now. ,🤗😍

[@bernadinebthompson5515]

I feel so much better now knowing that I was not crazy as he called me. All of the above or mentioned was the reasons and excuses I was manipulated with. Lately I could not sleep but after this video I feel so inspired to just move on not even wish him bad or seek revenge I kind of feel sorry for him. Oh did you just save my sanity of seeking the faults from my side I continuesly tried finding what I did wrong or where I made him do these things I finally understand that if there's justice then be it and if not it's also fine I am who I am and I saw each and every red flag but he just persuaded me all too easily that I'm the crazy one and the one seeing little green mars men oh my gosh I was right all along every step of the way, my justice is still having me in one piece to now have a consciousness of being humble free and lucky to have gotten away.

[@barkburton1]

One of the best if not the best most accurate video I have ever listened to on this topic. So spot on.

[@AbnerChamate]

You are making me so happy in this chapter. I am addicted to your videos and I say the bad word, BUT I need to focus other life related activities to preserve the rest of my sanity. You are a blessing to this world with this channel. Thank you.