Narcissist Grand Finale

[@LoveEndures7]

If someone has to break you by pulling u down, that means you were better than them 😊

[@lollylightning]

Absolutely. The overanalyzing only happened when he was cheating and lying and triangulating. He'd punish me by walking out and raging and dumping me. Even when I found the truth, he denied it.

[@FK-cg8el]

The min they started to give me cold shoulder Leave them

[@angelatucker2492]

Yes. They blamed me for everything.

[@SupremeAtheist]

That narc always complained about the fact I was aware of his misbehaving! Now, I take it as a compliment, yes I was noticing he was a manipulator!

[@sandyheinrich2204]

It explains why they have to ruin every holiday.

[@debral9651]

What I really like about you is how you unravel all the bad experiences we had and explain it in a way so that we can make sense of what happened. Such an important step of healing. Thank you

[@RawMotivations]

So true. Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones

[@AlwaysHope2019]

BEN is definitely one of a kind with this

[@SDuffey6155]

💯

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

Yup….CRAAAAZY Also add….sounds like demonic spirits Thank you so much! From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA

[@Peacealways247]

After the break up, narc took new pics of himself, I mean GRAND pics. This was to get attention. When he married 10 mos later, he randomly told people he had gotten married and that he was SO happy now because he'd been wanting to get married for a long time..uummm, he'd been married 3x. A newlywed does not need to tell anyone they are so happy, I clearly knew this as well as one of the people he KNEW would tell me he got married. I knew he was not by himself long, he was cheating while with me. I knew more about him than he actually thought I knew. You can't tell these people all that you know about them. You better do your homework on folks before dating them. Everything is everyone else's fault. I'm genuinely a happy person so he didn't have to build up my happiness. I noticed afterwards that he really was trying to be like me but he couldn't and seeing me happy after him and his miserable marriage, hmmm...blood boiling...not my fault I am who I am.

[@christinemanigian209]

Yes, I took accountability for catching him in a lie, then got punished by getting "blocked," then got discarded by questioning him if he actually cares. This sequence of patterns happened several times but this time, he wanted a real idiot but couldn't find it in me anymore & couldn't handle it by saying, "I refuse to take part in such nonsense & I should not talk to you anymore." Oh well, I'm glad he has several other idiots to feed his ego. 😊

[@ErinDunham]

What? I got blocked and deleted too.

[@JessicaKelly-by4fj]

His statement was "You have to know every detail"

[@odysseydiscovery]

He told me that I was overanalyzing and reading into things, just today.

[@czecka143]

I did not cause him to lie and speak half truths - I also chose to let go of my boundaries in my Echoism. Thank you - this is helping me take healthy accountability and hold others accountable

[@cyberninjasworld]

Yup I was happy distanced from him & he was so angry lol and blocked me 🙃

[@tinasasso5769]

YES!!! He told me I was “high stress” “hot” and he likes “cool” women, told me I was not emotionally mature and I was disturbing his “flow” with work and also blamed me for drinking. Lol…. In the relationship/situationship I was listening to “emotional intelligence” podcast and reading books to grow in that area since he convinced me that I was the only problem in our relationship. CrAzY!!! So grateful I left on 4/2/22 with no contact! I’ve had so much healing with EMDR, your posts(THANK YOU), and an online Christian program for healing from narcissistic abuse. He also told me to not tell him anything negative(close friend’s husband got possible cancer diagnosis). He didn’t want me to share any emotions EVER!🤯🙄 Boy BYE!!!👋🏽💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

[@PassionateFlower]

Girl yes💗Bye felipé 👋 🚪

[@karlataylor1172]

Men like him will always blame everyone else for all the stupid shit they do. Always. Don't fucking bother with them.

[@cyberninjasworld]

They never like anything.No way to win.Good riddance

[@lisamichael2035]

Has happened many times over. Not dealing with any of this shit anymore in my life bc I have cut them all off. Seriously my narcissist etc. radar detector is so unbelievably strong that don't believe they would even consider approaching me.

[@daniellemorse6929]

Thank you for this great video, Ben and that great comment about saying I did not cause that person to do this. Exnarc blamed me and had the nerve to say that I didn't have his best interests. The gaslighting and blame shifting this time around were absolutely horrible. I'm back to no contact and today is day 7. I tried to be a good person and help him in his bad situation only to be used, lied to and manipulated. No matter what we do for them it is never enough and they'll always find fault and blame everything on us for their decision making.

[@cyberninjasworld]

I lived something similar. You dodged a bullet. There is no cure for them. Sam Vaknin, Dr Ramani are great youtube channels

[@danielmargheriti4545]

i found out my fiance was cheating a year and a half ago before that i had no idea i was being love bombed for 3 years then all of a sudden its over im told to move out and all of a sudden im being gaslighted that its my fault for her cheating she denied cheating for the past 18 months and continues to hoover me while still openly seeing this guy that she cheated with i go no contact she shows up at my door professing her love all while still seeing the other guy ghosting manipulating ect i dont know why she just cant stay away

[@cherrybacon3319]

Its quite amusing in some ways (although if you're not educated it's not funny at all) to see them perform their cycles and how they become agitated when you don't react espond and not play their game. 🍒

[@cyberninjasworld]

Yes they get so anxious right away

[@melissaclary9646]

Mine didn't get anxious he's turned explosively violent

[@vickileverton2732]

Thank you, Ben. Yes, he told me I was overanalyzing things, and I just need to stop analyzing and go with the flow. That's when I started to try and figure his behaviour more but found it difficult and confusing due to a medical condition and his constant manipulation, mentally and emotionally. I went no contact 7 weeks ago.

[@edenjennings8395]

Hey Ben. I'm glad you brought up "unconditional adoration" I feel that at least in my case, narcs confuse unconditional love with unconditional adoration. I have been told several times that by my attempting to confront and address issues I am proving that I am the one who is looking at our relationship as "transactional" because I am supposed to love uncontionally. About the first 10 years or longer I took that to heart and it caused a lot of ruminating and self doubt. At some point as I was coming out of the fog I heard someone quote "unconditional love does not equate to unconditional tolerance" and it became a small piece in my journey that helped combat that terrible internal self talk. I know now that it is all part of the m.o. the projection, the reversals, the subtle passive aggressive digging at your foundation... but can you introspect on that concept from your personal experience and maybe do a video on your perspective of how you view unconditional love versus unconditional adoration? Thank you.

[@cherrybacon3319]

Very well put 👍

[@juneelle370]

Yes, I always say unconditional love is NOT unconditional relationship.

[@loribehr5967]

Hi Ben. I really admire how much work you have done on yourself. It's helpful to have someone with insight validate reality. Thank you.

[@kisigma1011]

Very true a psychopath said I'm overanalyze 💯

[@Ladymay58]

Great insight Ben .. I'm impressed at the maturity and strength you posess to open up and talk about your situation with raw honesty .. The fact that you are doing something to change the way you see things and are willing to help others to understand narcissistic behaviour and how to deal with it , get through it , etc is commendable.. It's a difficult subject , a difficult life to live or be involved in.. Thank you so much for your video's which I am sure will help a great many people ... God Bless.. and thanks again. xx

[@tarayoung7873]

I need this book. It’s exactly what I’ve experienced

[@heidimarkar]

He would tell me that I just liked being miserable. Then I'd call him out on one of his many addictions and he'd call me Columbo. What he never realized is that I know I can be fine without him.

[@coley8880]

My ex narc also told me I liked being miserable and also constantly accused me of catastrophizing

[@AlwaysHope2019]

Columbo🙄

[@jasonbuffington5304]

I've personally seen a whole lot of positive growth and development of genuine emotional health in the world. It is a marked difference between now and a few years ago in the way my fellow American Patriots World Wide conduct themselves in their relationships and with those they encounter out in the world. We all are under construction and we always will be but as long as we are building a better future on a daily basis, may consider ourselves successful. God Bless Much Love ©®

[@mlou7432]

So basically, narcissists are attracted to genuine people because they lack genuineness?

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Absolutely never lie to a Leo ♌️ 🙌🙏♌️sold my home was gang stalked at same time really open my eyes to the evil 😈 people 🙌🙏

[@RawMotivations]

Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..

[@AnittaH]

Oh, the amount of times I ended up apologizing for catching him in his lies. Thank goodness I was only a transitional supply, so when I stopped taking the bait, he actually followed his f-boy tendencies and vanished.

[@cyberninjasworld]

They vanish so quickly

[@srm47]

I remember clearly trying to discuss the problems we were having he actually did admit that he just often has no idea what to say when problems in relationships occur. A very odd and rare moment of honesty amongst all the lies.

[@lollylightning]

My ex also regularly said "I don't know what to say". Because he only ever thought about himself

[@srm47]

@@lollylightning I noticed this only came up when I was trying to hold him accountable, to just try and have a mature conversation....impossible.

[@rebekahjette6304]

I loved reading Psychopath Free; thank you for telling us about this book!

[@edithhernandez2336]

This is happening to me right now

[@loribehr5967]

I'm sorry that you are being abused. Sadly ,it will continue until you leave. They will never do the right thing. EVER.

[@ErinDunham]

This is the best video yet!! Thank you thank you!!

[@RawMotivations]

Glad you liked it!

[@dahliafiend]

You’ve taught me as much as anyone. When I’m better financially I’ll take the challenge. Psychopath Free was a helpful book. Top three for me. I just wish he would’ve not used the word psychopath. I’m very aware of the overlap but to me it was a book about narcissistic partners not sociopathy. Regardless it was one of the books that helped break the spell (along with cancer). Even after two years of what I know was abusive as my girl friend I remained platonic friends for eight years. I just refused to ignore her words and accept her actions. She would have had to be a pathological liar I remember thinking. Bingo. Friends tend to visit friends with stage three cancer. At least once. It took my life being under threat and seeing her genuine lack of care underneath the mask. To make me angry and I began to question if anything ever had been true. To her no. I was just a younger sex partner that was cute and then inconveniently in love. The real kind. Not the kind where it’s about status or money. Once my use was done with she ended up marrying a retiree with millions. 20 years older than any man she’d ever dated. Just as she hit menopause. 😅😊😊 But I’m still in denial that someone could have truly been so heartless. She gaslit me so wholly I was apologizing years later for things I never did. Meanwhile she (as I finally know now. ) Had spent half of the first year sleeping with an old supply. It was shocking for a long time as was the reinvention of history in her mind. That’s when I gave up the ghost. She doesn’t live in reality. Her lies are her truth. Which must be accepted to remain in her presence. Realizing that the love bomb was not a real person has been beyond heartbreak to me. It’s been 11 years. Just to accept that I was so profoundly and cruelly tricked. I thought I was a better judge of character. Getting the same cancer as her ex, dealing with suicidal ideation. Her ex died of suicide during the cancer bout. Same exact kind of cancer I’ve fought twice now. Testicular. Seems like the kind of thing someone besides me would find odd or least sad. Or the other suicide ex and trail of men that ended up sick. But I guess I can’t expect people to be more aware than I was. Living with her. People think cruelty and evil are done by ugly dirty people. Not beautiful wholesome kind caring people ( in appearance). They absolutely are and charm, looks often help people get away with it. For this reason alone. Looks. Pathetic. It’s so much easier to cast me as crazy. In the end I feel hurt by society more than one sick woman.

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you for sharing your story and expressing your feelings. It takes a lot of strength to acknowledge and process the manipulation and hurtful behavior you experienced. It can be incredibly challenging to come to terms with the realization that someone you cared about could be so heartless. Please know that you are not alone, and there are many others who have gone through similar experiences. Your journey towards healing and self-discovery is courageous, and I hope you continue to find support and understanding along the way. Remember to be kind to yourself and surround yourself with people who truly appreciate and value you.

[@TravelatorH8r]

What does fault matter to us both being miserable, fault doesn't help change where we are now. That's what I use to say to her over the most trivial things, and even pull up past events of how she perceived everything as disrespectful or malevolently calculated. Made me realize that her memory of me or hypothetical self betrayed her. I would get blamed for things that her skewed image of me , will do in the future. I asked her why her "why does your brain do that about me? You know I love you", with a sincere shrug of the eyebrows on a gloomy face, she looked down and said "I don know". Acknowledging by admission of the uncontrollable and undesired dysfunction. I told her she needs help. Her brain is betraying her. That was the last .or maybe first time even I got to talk to the authentic, raw, ....her. 22years........

[@tracyhankey1265]

Panties in their room....that aren't mine.😮

[@CL-lo4wd]

OMG, similar thing happened to me: he sent me a text of a pair of panties that were the same color as mine, but wrong brand, asking if I’d forgotten them at his place! When I said I didn’t he claimed he must have put them in his laundry bag by mistake at the laundromat (we live in NYC, most of us have to use a laundromat). I was stunned. I remember choosing to give him a pass because I didn’t think he would purposely expose himself, and because I have occasionally ended up with other people’s socks when I’ve done my laundry. EXCEPT a that I couldn’t stop thinking that women don’t put lace panties in a commercial washer and drier. And of course it turned out he was cheating, and how!

[@voulapetrakos7508]

U are 💯percent right love watching ur videos very informative 👍

[@RawMotivations]

I appreciate that

[@resilient8788]

One you figure them out seeing their lies comes easy to see. As a matter of fact he might want yo consider taking a class on how to lie better as most most of his lies are so far fetched they are laughable (in a sick ha ha kinda way).

[@cherylhughes5944]

My husband walked out on me last Saturday because he got caught with his girlfriend.

[@RawMotivations]

I’m so sorry to hear that betrayal. Would love to help you on your healing journey. Check out this video to see if you connect: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

[@westernsellers9148]

Women filling the comments section on YT and Quora shows they gaslight more than Men

[@kayhawkins8789]

I just downloaded the free pdf from your website. What other free resources do you suggest? I am still married and the financial abuse is still something I am facing. I have to ask for everything from him, so I can’t schedule a session. At this point I feel totally frozen. I used to be successful and now I am physically ill to the point of disability. I am basically trapped in my house with anxiety. Is there hope for someone like me?! Anyone have some insight or advice?

[@RawMotivations]

Narcavenegers.com has 16 creators and each one has some free content and some downloadable items too. Watching my videos on trauma bond will help too

[@kayhawkins8789]

@@RawMotivations ty, Ben.

[@thatpoleartistmichelle2362]

Leave him now. I left my ex in the middle of the night . Money is replaceable, your self worth is everything. I started over from scratch. I lived in my car for one night with my cats. He controlled everything, money and finances. It was scary but I survived.

[@MaryMullen-n5r]

I would love to know who your therapist is? My husbands a covert. He needs a good therapist.

[@JessCyph]

I just stumbled across your site. What led you to therapy?

[@RawMotivations]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaK3mK2IlLJ-sLM

[@RawMotivations]

My Journey

[@edithhernandez2336]

This happens soi often

[@ric5403]

I know this is coming, so what do i do? 33 years of marriage, and it is definitely coming to an end.

[@RawMotivations]

Do you know what actions to take next in your healing process? Equip yourself with the right tools to break free from toxic relationships and empower yourself with clarity, certainty, and confidence here: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough-call-for-women.