Narcissist’s Manipulative Weapon: Projective Identification

Projective identification causes the victim to modify her/his behavior by adopting as theirs the narcissist’s shame and guilt.
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[@aprilmoon111]

"Stay home, stay single." Best advice I've heard in a long time....

[@bbdn5123]

Both true. What if you were to adopt? Will the child suffer because of your coping etc. Or another way to "bypass"? However hard it is remain calm and take your time. You deserve the best and so does your child(ren) 💗

[@snicksabea]

That me! ❤

[@OsmoZchannel]

@@bbdn5123 adoptive children have statistically more mental health issues unfortunately

[@Heal..Restore..Moveforward]

Very very good advice. 🙏🪷

[@Mom_Luvs_Tech]

He’s not wrong about the last part. There’s something wrong in the world today.

[@davidsalo8397]

People are getting desperate. They are in competition with the people in their lives. "Every man for himself" is not just a saying anymore. Way too many people live life with that in mind.

[@cmbr.]

🔘 a narc's projection is confession

[@johndrake3472]

Yes, I have a couple family members that do exactly this - it’s frustrating and sad, they’d rather die than admit to a mistake.

[@professorchaos9]

Introspection = death

[@aladyinthemeads]

Last two minutes - this is exactly what I feel nowadays. You cannot trust anyone, everybody can harm you at the least expected moment of your life. Just like that. No remorse. Nothing. Self-reliance (the echo of an old XIX-century Emersonian theory) seems to be a must.

[@user-fj8bt4zo3x]

Thankful to say not me or u either so that's comforting

[@laurelbarlow5733]

My late stepfather projected his badness onto me. But I have never became that person. I stayed with who I was.

[@MZSTAR4YA]

Don’t hold on to your life. Yes heal and reflect. Spend time to yourself. But after some time get out and live. Make connections. We’re going to die anyway. No point in not living.

[@ozemg32_ozem_goldwire]

The LAST few minutes of this film rings the TRUEST!!! Always know yourself (self awareness) and BE YOURSELF (self authenticity). Thank you, Professor Shmuel "Sam" Vaknin, SO very much for this information! Please take good care! 😊😊😊

[@MoonGooned]

YEP. "Stay at home stay celibate stay single --- the world is not safe right now…. " "To engage with other people is to risk your freedom and very often your very life."

[@maytruthprevail4668]

Professor thank you. I have never come across a clearer explanation of this "mental poisoning". Many of the things my sibling tried to explain to me, are clearly explained here. My sibling was a victim of narcissistic abuse, she was driven insane and passed away recently. I survived the trauma from the oldest siblings evil machinations, and at this late stage in life I am fighting to build boundaries and keep the Narcissist and the enablers out of my life.

[@snicksabea]

Keep up the good work.

[@curtmaloney7859]

Holy crap this one is depressing. All resistance is futile, stay indoors alone and blockade the doors until this evil generation has passed.

[@guyallison1475]

What exactly do they do to you? I used to have a similar issue with a mental women above me @@kuukuyankson2033

[@Theysee1111]

All i can say is no matter how much inner work i do no matter how much awareness i have and shadow. Work im not the same i feel robbed of a life growing up as the scapegoat as a child leading to my intimate relationships i feel so low somee days im alright but still tired of the isolation part 😞

[@domeatown]

My narc relationship led to me realizing that my parents, too, were narcs. And I had to cut my remaining parent out. Realizing I was scapegoated. Realizing the religion I was raised in warped my brain so severely. Also realizing my best friend and boss were, too. Because that is what I learned to allow in my life. That was all I allowed in my life. I have new friends, new boundaries. Old friends adapted to my new boundaries and those who didn't got booted. But the whole process was so exhausting; my soul is spent. Some days I just feel so alone it's unbearable. Plus, there is something very lonely about being close after you have been enmeshed. Because that high of being one entity operating as one... I swear, it's like a drug. And being sober is healthier and I will get used to it. But I'm not yet. I will be lonely with you today. We can be lonely together. We can share the vibration of loneliness as one lmao. Hive mind with me, the healthy way this time lmao

[@bbdn5123]

​@@domeatown✍🏽 I'm lone He's lone She's lone All together we're: A lone 💌✌🏽💗🖖🏽 At first I was reading serious in agony, "so, this is true and real, I'm not alone and crazy...". Mind like Einstein calibrating patterns with mathematically precision 🤯 -what happened, what's still happening, what can happen, what happened with others, etc- . Oh I laughed so hard inside! 🤔 Heeey, I know that laugh..! Buahahaha everything hurts and is wacked, so no choice to laugh it off. F it all and enjoy life with wisdom, clarity, peace of mind is all. My mind keeps me in denial I'm exhausted. Take care, bee🐝yourself🎊🎉☝🏽🌌💖💫

[@aaronlittman5397]

He’s right. I have a kid with a narcissist. I lost the entirety of my 30’s because of it.

[@chriswiebers1135]

Me too!

[@justbereal9208]

30’s and 40’s

[@tara-fq3bi]

My whole Life.

[@matthighlifeful]

Me too, so fucked up

[@kris_ty685]

Oh my god. My mother and step mother and father are all cluster B. I'm now a Cluster B. I'm the scapegoat...my sister is the golden. They are delusional.

[@ChirripoCory]

Last minute so powerful. I feel I got un-gaslit just listening to that. Thank you!!!

[@charlescollier7217]

Clear, concise, and accurate - masterful teaching.

[@jordanwilson706]

The ending of he video was chilling, the reality of the world we are living in today.

[@cocomaire]

That ending was pretty bleak. Yes, more people are narcissistic nowadays, but real people still do exist. We are also becoming more savvy in our ability to read red flags. I believe you also said that without human connections we will grieve until we die.

[@Olivera81]

@samvaknin Thanks, prof. "Do not expose yourself to this crossfire" is the best advice one can get in times like this. I've been thinking lately about this conflicts in everyday life, we are constantly being bombarded by some kind of war...constant battles between "good and evil", forcing you to choose sides. Seems humanity is on his lowest right now😢

[@user-gw8xd2te3s]

Video Request: What happens when the survivor reflects the projections back onto the narcissist with documentation before the same audience of attorneys and therapists? I’m in the middle of a divorce and my husband, in response to me setting boundaries has essentially accused me via email of child abuse, neglect, malnutrition, improper supervision, keeping my child in a foul smelling hoarded home surrounded by animal waste, parental alienation and the list goes on. As I put together my response with documentation, (photos, emails, screenshots of text messages) it is clear that his accusations are actually a reflection of his environment, parenting, and behaviors. Normally I would ignore this, but I must fight for my daughter. While I am grateful for the opportunity to expose him, I am concerned about the narcissistically rageful response. I am also grateful for you. I wish more therapists and attorneys had you knowledge.

[@guyallison1475]

That last part rings true with me, especially as i just got out of toxic relationship six months ago.

[@justbereal9208]

Everything you say, Can And Will Be used against you in the Cult of Public Opinion.

[@shalaemayville9863]

When I was feeling worthless, old, ugly, and completely insane was that how he felt about himself? I had never hated myself more than when I was with my covert ex. That's how he felt about himself. He acted like he hated me so much towards the end. Both times. I have been doing what you have said at the end. I'm working on myself because dating is scary right now.

[@phivegallonfillup]

It is time indeed Sam… I’m somewhere at the beginning of a new hero’s journey in my life, taking whatever I can constellate as a “self” forward into the unknown, solitary… carrying with me the still small flame of individuated being, kindling warm inside, to be fanned slow and steady on my quest by good orderly direction. Thank you again for a great video….

[@bbdn5123]

The heart spasms tell me I've arrived at the same station 💗

[@aqueneable]

Very good advice at the end. It is indeed a very dangerous world we live in now.

[@michelevanlimburgh-lu9wc]

When you look into the abyss, you find yourself.

[@murraymurray7248]

Almost became her horrid projections, fortunately she croaked, I'm okay with it.

[@siddharthjodh]

I've taken your advice given in the last 2 minutes to heart and have practised it thoroughly.

[@theloveflows8773]

❤Thank you Sam❤

[@vbgirl3023]

This makes me feel hopeless for my adult children who are all single.

[@angieoh2]

Why? Nothing wrong with being single.

[@mokhtarnoh4622]

Tks Prof., my narcissist wife tried to impose the projective identification technique by explicitly saying I’m weak on numerous occasions. On each occasion, I remained indifferent and without any emotional response. I can sense the injury she sustained as I’m adamant not to show any reaction since I’ve already have the knowledge that she is baiting me for a negative weapon to be used later. She died because of brain cancer last june, but I could feel the narcissistic collapse about 6 months earlier.

[@NeoFrontierTechnologies]

A very dark world - astoundingly lost confused and messed up. I am one of those withdrawn people. Looking at this world with a big frown on my face. But I do believe it is possible to engage in healthy relationships though. I do also premote self development. Self development to all, the psychopath and the narcissist, the normal person and the otherwise sick person. Everyone has something to be ashamed of and stop with. Through will power anyone can change for the better through choices.

[@user-wj1oh9gb4g]

Another good one👋

[@GrandeMOficial]

Sam, vengeance and the act of forcing the victim to "feel" what the narc is feeling is a type of projection? For example, if I say that I'm going to do something with a friend, my ex gf would do the SAME THING (do something with a friend) just to makes me "feel" what she is feeling, as a vengeance. I heard that in love bombing the narc wants the victim to feel what he is feeling too (the obsession). Thank you once again for another great video.

[@samvaknin]

Yes.

[@chriswiebers1135]

Isn’t this the suicide by cop 👮‍♂️ metafoor? I have identified her cycle 🔁 1 break rule/boundaries 2 when confronted justification deflections or more lies but never show remorse. 3 Play victim (shot by cop)😢

[@rimcoeijzenga991]

Heftig hè

[@chriswiebers1135]

@@rimcoeijzenga991 zeker!! Bah…

[@oselkhandro4416]

an excellent explanation of Projective Identification. thank you.

[@doriwells8863]

You are right on🎯

[@innovationintheskin7887]

thank you so much for all, prof

[@Now2Sense]

Thanks

[@user-pz1ch2wv8y]

Thanks Sam

[@innovationintheskin7887]

i know very well the projection's game; i never bought in into this

[@sineadcarolan8660]

Thank you for reiterating this Sam

[@rimcoeijzenga991]

And that is the truth…

[@carolina-jens]

Thank you!

[@XtOfjeChristopheClaeys]

Very well explained 👍

[@alicelovescats888]

Can anyone give an example of this? If I am a narcissist and I am very very selfish and self absorbed, and I accuse my partner of being selfish and self absorbed, would my partner then become selfish and self absorbed, or would they just believe that they are?

[@emilias4008]

Prof Vaknin, what do you think about Hellinger's system settings? As participant of one, what you describe seems like the experience I had, till body features level (ex voice, gestures etc.) Thank you

[@samvaknin]

Some good borrowed ideas firmly embedded in a field of profound nonsense.

[@Don-ce6dy]

Don't socialise? It is sick, against human needs.

[@TamtuHolistic]

Could you please make a video about communal green narcissism? I can´t find much literature on this topic. Maybe agentic narcissists could "turn" into communal narcissists, just like cerebral narcissists can become somatic?

[@samvaknin]

Could you please search the channel for "prosocial" and "communal"?

[@TamtuHolistic]

Thank you. Now I am really terrified. I doubt I will know if someone is vulnerable or grandiose since they can be whatever they want. I am failing badly trying to learn patterns.

[@cnoor30]

Wow

[@BismillahirRahmanirRaheemB]

Facts

[@strangerthanfiction4014]

Its like more than 1 people listen to a song, that also synchronizes. But not everyone telling you your music is shit is not a narc. But most of the time theyll like it after 1 second of listening. Then you hear their music and its really basic and bad.

[@richhall1808]

The 4th Turning is is a MF'r

[@bevfaria3300]

🩵💙🖤💦 EMBARRASSINGLY GUILTY .. THE MUSICIAN .. MUSIC GETS HIM GIRLS .. I CAN RELATE TO THIS ENTRAINING .. THE OVERWHELMING LOVE BOMB .. THE TRAUMA BOND .. THE DISCARD .. STRIVE FOR SELF AWARENESS OWN WHO YOU ARE .. ALWAYS 💙 B .. XXXX

[@Bubble-hw5pm]

6:15 something about your delivery Professor 😮‍💨🤌🏼🤌🏼

[@lollypopka7129]

is Putin narciss ?

[@samvaknin]

More of a psychopath: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jISpnmNvgJenf7c

[@lollypopka7129]

@@samvaknin wow. tnx