Narcissistic Family Abuse: Healing Your Aloneness

[@jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇 Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self

[@andrearush6209]

It's a strange sensation to be both set free but also crushed by the reality of what your life has been to this point. I feel relief and grief all at the same time. Here's to the end being clearer than the beginning. Thank you for your work here. It is significant.

[@TattedChristian]

Wow... soooo well said! 💯!

[@PotsandPansWhatsPotsandPans]

So well said. Relief and grief. Realizing my whole life was spent with people who continued my parents work of teaching me I have to earn love, that I'm not worthy at all just as I am. That I've only tasted breadcrumbs and never had support for anything in my life because whatever I am going through does not matter because I don't matter outside of service and supply.

[@andrearush6209]

@@TattedChristian thank you

[@KimBrce]

You can go to million parties, bars, meet thousands of people and even new relationships.. but you will always feel alone because you cannot connect on a deeper level. Golden! The only solution to that is connection with Yourself 🙏🏼

[@dalenemarie]

And connection with Jesus

[@DG-EditsYT]

Nope ​@@dalenemarie

[@aidina89db]

The way we were treated as a children .That's how we treat ourselves for the rest of our lives.

[@Jen.K]

Yes, this was true for me too, until that darkness became conscious and I was able to start looking at it and do something different.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Until we do the work to change 🍂

[@KoolT]

Oh dear. My mother was depressed and angry and tired

[@Gemmarose9012]

Only until we heal.

[@paysonadams4597]

@@KoolT and you are too????

[@toomylight2311]

Always treat and take care of yourself as you would do for someone you really loved .

[@jerrywise]

Thank you for watching. Any donation would help in making these videos. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/donations

[@karenmininni4962]

We self abandon to narcissists who isolate us as a scapegoat with smear campaigns. Then we wonder why we feel alone. This video covers so much. Jerry saves lives. Thanks so much Jerry.

[@josephgradojr.597]

I can relate to the person who has gone no contact with her narcissistic mother and sisters and in turn has no contact with their nieces and nephews. That kind of collateral damage is tough to heal from

[@JawaMech]

“The way we were treated as children is how we treat ourselves the rest of our life”. Yikes that hit me hard.

[@Happy78704gal]

There is nothing more beautiful, than enjoying and loving being by yourself! I once found an empty shell of myself and had to get reacquainted with who I was and what I enjoyed, after years of losing myself in an oppressive relationship! It wasn’t easy to get to this point, but all I can say is glory to God! Praying that I will be wise the next time I give a man the honor of dating me!

[@dailybread300]

Miss Empath I’ve been able to spend many years to become who I’d like to meet. In the process, I came to grow closer and closer to the Lord! Now, I don’t want to give myself to anybody because the Lord has my heart! Praise God! He is THE best.

[@Happy78704gal]

Karen Carpenter I am glad you found such a blessing in your journey, I often feel the same way nowadays. Life is just so much easier single, once you learn to depend on God. God bless!

[@sage9836]

Awesome!

[@griffinapollo7717]

You all probably dont care but does anyone know of a trick to get back into an Instagram account?? I was dumb forgot my account password. I would appreciate any help you can offer me!

[@Jaz31day]

god is always good

[@sweetdreams5587]

As you get older- and you really need support it is so scary to be in this big world alone. This is like there is no hope for the future. There is no grand kids to hold. No holidays, it is so hard. I dont know what is the middle ground. Esp when you are not married and don't have alot of resources. This hurts so much , but it seems that the cycle never ends.

[@foreverzeta6578]

It's a recepie for this all along. Too much tv. And no one saw the same show... If you get what I say.. Break up of families to dissect all problems. And the phones are made to be enough for a friend.

[@outoficecream2740]

You have each other ... we are watching this because we want change... we don't want feel lonely any more. Also we don't want be abuse in exchange for interaction.

[@Kareena1988]

@@foreverzeta6578 i didnt get what u mean

[@Kareena1988]

@@outoficecream2740 huh..she wrote she has no one

[@dorothy792]

I am in the same boat as mother and sister died, the rest are toxic. I suggest you try church cafes, etc and keep trying different ones, even if you are not a believer, as you will find company.

[@maryfrady7149]

You're right. I didn't choose NC, it was what I was left with. The only thing left to do to protect myself. For too many years I was worried about pleasing others. Now I'm taking care of me. So I'm losing some people along the way as I will not allow abusive behavior or critical rhetoric. Perhaps these people falling away will make room for healthy relationships with people will treat me like i want to be and deserve to be.

[@raphaellavelasquez8144]

Wish I'd stuck with it.

[@stevengriffin5349]

Thank you sharing the phrase "critical rhetoric" , it fits my feeling..... not verbal abuse in the typical way; rage,threats etc. yet the effects are the same to me. My mind and heart just absorbs as discard / abandonment. Typical interaction; (groggy and getting first cup of coffee, I fail to see a pot has been made, thus I make a Kurge " i never going make you coffee again". My thought is there you go, take away more love from me (for the slightest) Makes a sad start for the day and won't improve as I go to bed.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

@@raphaellavelasquez8144 you can start again......never give up 💝💝💝

[@btfields323]

Right

[@KoolT]

What is NC?

[@rochellecaffee1417]

Being an adult is allowing the good parts of your inner child to have more freedom to express creativity and learn how to enjoy or have fun in life and accepting the “parent mode” for the good it serves, but keeping the “adult” in charge of important and meaningful decisions most of the time.

[@silethaking279]

I like the way you expressed this!🙏🏾💯💕

[@chrisg7795]

Thank you for explaining this so well. I needed this today. I actually thought about my not having children because of all the mess that happened during the years where I would have wanted to create a family. I was so sad in that moment. There’s so much love and care I can’t give now. I mean, I do, I’m a teacher. But I mean my own children whom I didn’t have 😢, it just makes me so very sad. Then I thought, I could care for that neglected child that I was, maybe that would help.

[@orangepurple8546]

I'm very sorry for your pain! I wondered ( I know it's not the same ad having your own kids) if you'd be open to being a foster parent. There are so many kids that are abused by their parents that you could shower with love and care.

[@magnoliajo696]

Hi Jerry, I am really struggling right now and with tears in my eyes I sought out to watch one of your videos to help myself. I realize the horizontal and then upside down beginning of your video was not intentional, but perhaps it was just what I needed to start relaxing. I was able to giggle out loud at the silliness of it. Not laughing at you of course, nor what you were saying, but simply at how we can miss the silly things in life and not relax and laugh at our own humanness and the goofs that can occur. Often these things make us likable and relatable because they are unexpected and so human in our experience - such as like this with technology not working the way we hope. So I think a giggle is what I needed to release the tears and smile because today my heart is hurting and I truly feel all alone in my emotional pain. So thank you for uploading this just the way it was... you model for me that its ok not to be perfect. Its ok to giggle with oneself and not feel ashamed or embarrassed and allow the healing to begin by just accepting being normal and not worrying about perfection or what others might think. Thank you once again. I look forward to watching the rest of the video now and soaking in the words of insightful thought that you have to share.

[@sage9836]

I was tilting and laughing too!

[@jillwhiting8839]

I am happy to be alone and loneliness does creep in sometimes but I do think getting to know my inner child is the answer as well as going no contact.

[@LilBrownieD]

Most aha moment to me: just being around more people is not going to guarantee I can make connections. I don't have a strong inner adult that protects myself when other people are potentially harmful, so I think that makes me overly defended.

[@kahlodiego5299]

"The loved inner child can make connection with others."

[@jerrywise]

For sure I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional

[@uyoebyik]

I was scapegoated since I was a year old when my mother had a new baby. I always felt like I wasn't given permission to exist

[@a.m.1675]

53:26 I think you could also say to yourself: "One day I will have the parents I've always wanted. If I go through self-differentiation, I will find them in me".

[@IncomparableMe]

This is such a beautiful comment, thank you!

[@hellemariehunt1506]

Thank you so very very much. Just fitted in perfectly where I find myself in my proces after having had no other choice than going NC with my entire family of origin.

[@sll110]

me too

[@Joy-nl1hb]

This whole video is incredibly valuable and informative. BUT 39:12- 42:12 is phenomenal about loving oneself and amazing advice on allowing yourself grace and time to heal. So grateful for this sharing of wisdom and insight. Thank you so very much Mr. Wise!!!

[@phyllisrondeau4886]

It's new years eve at 4pm.im in bed.hopi g to sleep.over the past years 20 or so all I've ever loved.has been taken away by mean family.i looked for years trying to find out why I was not.allowed to see my grand daughters.it is.14.yrs.and I still.dont know.my doctor.sent me to grief counseling. It helped.my heart still.hurts. I want to livea.few more years without tears.thank you jerry for your.wisdom.and.gentle ways.

[@StratoHari2]

According to recent studies, both introverts and extroverts feel depleted by social interaction. The problem is this: introverts have a waaaay lower treshold. They (we) find depleting activities that extroverts wouldn't (such as: going out with a small group of friends). Dr. Grande made a video about it, quite interesting. Fantastic video, Jerry, it came just in the right moment. Thanks.

[@kristaweber5495]

I love the part about how to begin getting to know ourselves. Very beautiful.

[@JoRobertsGaming1984]

I recently started listening to your videos. I have been trying to set boundaries with a very enmeshed and dysfunctional family, and am even considering not seeing some of them any more. Your videos have been very useful to me. You are very insightful.

[@wearitlikeadiva]

Me too

[@mday3821]

I have been talking to my inner child and I made her some promises...that I will never leave her...I will always protect her...that she nothing wrong to deserve being treated so bad by her mom or me then I apologize to her for not protecting her or being there for her. I tell her that I love her. I even spent days drawing. I try to make it a point to listen to what she needs. I have seen some improvement. Thanks Jerry this has been helpful because I know I still have a lot of work ahead of me.

[@eostre812]

i cry a lot watching this just by the thought of loving my self hurt so much. i hate myself for so long thats the only way i know. and ive been busy surviving i never pay so much attention to it

[@jerrywise]

Please read Margaret Paul's book on Healing Your Aloneness and her book on Inner Bonding

[@sll110]

me too, unbelievable deeply hate myself, that I only survied

[@anitabubic6094]

I love you Jerry, you saved my life!

[@rochellecaffee1417]

It’s good to remember that this journey takes time and emotional energy, and the Process should remind us to be patient with ourselves. We are learning a new way of communicating honestly, which protects us from creating resentments because “no one understands me”. Now WE understand WE. It also helps to understand that it’s our “inner child” that needs the time, energy, and patience we must give ourselves. How would you treat another “child”? Would you be kinder? Would you abandon that child? What would you expect of someone else’s “child”? Your child within, needs just as much care as any other child. The inner child carries the traits of creativity, emotional responses, vulnerability, or innocence, having fun, also manipulation is a trait, for good or for ill. So when you are experiencing these traits they are coming from your inner child. Your inner child needs your acceptance when you feel something you have been told NOT TO DO or FEEL…that’s the “parent mode” in Transactional Analysis “. The Parent is bossy, and controlling, and guilting, shaming, critical. Listen to your needs. Do what you need to do. You know when you need to be around people. Trust your opinion, and stop relying or borrowing other people’s approval/self. Many people will try to make YOU feel guilty for what YOU NEED. They have a strong “parent mode” and to protect themselves 1:21:09 from feeling insecure within, they moralize and judge you for taking care of YOUR needs. So you may end up “shutting down” inside, and developing RESENTMENTS, which follow you throughout your life, until you decide to deal with them….like we are doing today.❤😊

[@lastdayspassagesandstudies3374]

i found this helpful because I have been constantly stressing about my relationships and my difficulties in them and its just nice to make space, get out of enmeshment, and look after oneself for awhile

[@giulias.5104]

In my experience, you are missing a point here. I am an awakened 40 y.o. woman, who have experienced emotional trauma as a child, went through a journey of self discovery and healing, did a lot of inner child/shadow work, and experience being alone (no friends, being alienated by the whole family, having no interactions for a prolonged amount of time). I can tell you, having people in your life is a basic human need. The loneliness that come from not having it, is normal and will not go away, no matter how much inner child work have you done! It is true what you said that doing inner child work will DIMINISH the pain of being alone, but it will not completely erased it. Interacting with people is one of our basic need as human being. And part of the enlightenment journey is also to recognize and take care of your needs in life. 🙏

[@sll110]

you Maybe right, Maybe wrong, Nobody says that you 100% isolate and Nobody in your life, but what means people into your life? how to deal with being alone is big deal in traumatized life

[@sll110]

if you 100% isolate yourself, why you come here ? you are trying to make some connections, not really just talking or listening to some narcissists in real life

[@terrancemcclendon456]

Interact with people and be open to connection

[@Gemmarose9012]

I’m glad that’s simply not true otherwise I would have been in big trouble. One size doesn’t fit all.

[@UsmanMalik-hn3jg]

You are simply amazing. You are like a kind and wise uncle I never had. I adore your videos and wisdom. May Allah bless you immensely for this great work and charity 🙏❤️

[@jerrywise]

You are so kind, thank you for watching my videos. I'm glad they are helping you

[@lanorarobertson1510]

Yay! New content from Jerry!!!😄

[@rochellecaffee1417]

Thank you, Jerry, for all you do.❤😊

[@chris-vo1nh]

At last i have an answer to something that has been with me since 5 years of age thanks Jerry's

[@catherinesinclair7727]

I just watched this on a Sunday afternoon..it felt like having a chat with a kind and insightful friend. Thank you

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome

[@takyiyakvsi]

Thank you so much for answering my question Jerry and your book recommendations! Also, I found this broadcast very insightful. Lots of things to work at!

[@MultiJay123123]

Wow I wasnt safe for my inner child. Thats some good stuff Jerry.

[@karenscott612]

You're describing my life to the T.

[@PS-xb9hc]

This video explains so well the why we keep bumping into the same unrequited love. Thank you!❤🙏I keep learning:)

[@SimplyMulani]

Ohhh My goodness! This was so good, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I’ve done a lot of this work for a long time and I’m finally seeing results. I’m super happy and excited! I have come such a long way, I still have a lot of things to work on but I’m glad that I listened and honored myself a long time ago to do this work. I have my inner child to thank for that 💯, it hasn’t been easy but I knew I had to interstate all my parts in order to be the best version of myself and I’m happy I never gave up on me.. Money can’t buy this, where I am today and everything I’ve done to get to this point. Totally worth it and the best decision I ever made. I choose me a long time ago and I keep choosing me. ❤❤❤

[@angelanicholson951]

Well, that explained a lot. What a treasure-trove of information. The ball of wool has finally been unravelled, so-to-speak. I can see the picture, joining the dots and the jigsaw, how it comes together. Thank you,.Jerry. This is a wonderful video. It suited me, perfectly. Much appreciated! So many of your additional comments also hit the target.

[@myphonyaccount]

57:57 being alone is an INNER state. Being isolated is an OUTER state.

[@Cocobelle96]

You’re so wise and exactly what I need to hear Thank you 🤎 God bless you

[@jerrywise]

God bless you too. I'm glad my work is helping you

[@sweetdreams5587]

I wish I could I know my purpose. I wish God could give me the loving supportive group I need as i get older and not feel the sting of being alone and the family of origin. If I could just see....that " picture" to give me something to hope for. I put everything into my relationships, and what i did for others. They leave me and have the benefit of all of that and I am left in pain, sick and alone.

[@serenapiccinini4896]

Same here you are not alone

[@ברכהה]

Have a routine of self care. Exercise daily on the floor gently, do meditations,go out for groceries and be friendly, learn a course in a group after Corona or zoom. Do activities that feel good. Have a pet. See a beauty expert,skin and hair. Activities bring you in contact with other people who will get to know you and like you. travel after reservation. Myby in an organized tour .volunteer to a cause you care about. Write letters emails to authorities about injustices you witness and offer ideas. Even a group about frugal living and meal planning connects you. I used to go to positive thinking. Now I stick to a routine and study on my lap top. I hope this helps. I wish you well.

[@Jen.K]

It's a year since you posted your comment, so I doubt you will see this, but I used to be exactly the same. I abandoned myself and gave everything to my relationships, when my daughter came along, she became my reason for living. Eventually I lost everything and everyone and was faced with just myself. There was absolutely no reason for me to continue living. I had no value and no right to live if I wasn't giving to someone else. It was a very painful time, and scary too. On a psychological level I accepted not existing any more. I had to struggle to stay alive because there was no motivation to survive. At first the only reason I kept myself alive was because I didn't want to hurt my family by dying, I didn't want to cause them pain, for me, it would have been a relief to remove my own shameful existence from the world. I didn't want to eat or do anything really. Then I had to build myself up from scratch, for me. There was no one else, so if I was going to keep living, it had to be for me. I had to accept being alone first though. I was the only one who could save me and I had to realize that I was worth saving. I also experienced a lot of pain and was sick for several years, I spent about 5 years in bed, very very alone. I learned about my own value and how to give myself what I didn't receive as a child. I hope you are able give yourself the love and care you deserve, we really can give it to ourselves, it's never too late.

[@sll110]

@@Jen.K this is only way

[@colleenirwin5094]

I feel, finally, that I'm worth being gifted by me. ❤

[@gracesanity6314]

Very powerful video. I have just ordered the book you mentioned. In deep gratitude for your God given gift you give to the wounded world. I so needed thus video today. Conivirus challenging us all. Using this precious time to learn, grow, heal, detach from toxic people, learning to be solitary to build that relationship with me. Thank you. Ireland

[@avelineb8239]

Thank you Jerry

[@MarthaMcCrum]

Pls Jerry keep us posted about your workshop. Awesometacular video too!!⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@gratitude1181]

Wow this was very Enlightening and Powerful thanks for sharing Mr. Wise 😊

[@mackaready1]

I think the best way I can put the feeling is that I'm missing out on love that is right under my nose that I'm not seeing and then when I do act it pushes the object of my affections away.

[@Phoebe-cy8xc]

Thank you so much for this very insightful information Jerry! 🙏🏼

[@jazus5524]

Thank you so much Jerry!

[@RebeccaAnnSinkula]

Thank you Jerry!!

[@karenherrera287]

Connection with others cannot occur without internal connection with oneself. An I love me and you love me state.

[@elaadamek1353]

this was super good. thank you so much.

[@duchessofessex2550]

Thank you so much

[@finsterthecat]

I love you live videos. I am making 2021 the year of the Self. Loving myself.

[@jerrywise]

That's great! I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional

[@tanyakashyap6944]

The proverbial Magic ✨ wand illustration is so inspiring Jerry.. You are Exemplary n unconventional.. 🤩🎧

[@jerrywise]

Thank you so much Tanya Thank you for watching. Any donation would help in making these videos. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/donations

[@shannonjarus6830]

Life changing information. Thank you Jerry❤!

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome!😊

[@jerrenewest1983]

You have so many great videos thank you so much your info is so helpful and such a blessing.

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome

[@bev3594]

I’m so happy to find You Thank You for this It’s just what I needed at this time. I subscribed and am looking forward to your other videos!! Great Questions

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome

[@silethaking279]

Yes…I will stand accused of listening or seeing Jerry Wise!🤣🤣🙏🏾👍🏾

[@darinsmith2458]

I think I started watching this one the other day.. I am not sure.. I resonate with so much but I do want to make a comment that I am starting with a Therapist that does EMDR tomorrow. I think my goal is to be able to process emotions that are associated with events. I do not know if I have to dig up stuff that I have blanked out but I think I can start with the stuff I already remember...

[@samwood9706]

So thankful for your work Jerry! To journal beside your videos always helps me to understand my behavior more and to reconnect with myself in a loving way! Wish you all good luck on your way, we make it! ❤️

[@sherriecox139]

Terrific!

[@MissionForward3]

You gave me a lot to think about and helped me make connections to the theory posited by Dr. Ross Rosenberg which he terms "Self Love Deficit Disorder" (SLDD).

[@letthetrumpetsound7893]

Good session Jerry. God bless you. 🙏🏾

[@Sarah_wondemagen222]

Thanks Jerry Your’e amazing! 🙏🏻

[@jerrywise]

Most welcome!🙂

[@smoozerish]

thankyou

[@littledrewboo]

Appreciate the shout-out of denton, tx

[@foreverzeta6578]

Heal your few relationships. Forgive and love the ones who reach out. And reach out . you were not perfect and nobody was perfect either.

[@kahlodiego5299]

It's scary.

[@Gemmarose9012]

There’s a big difference between being imperfect and being toxic.

[@lindatallon4036]

Humans are not ment to be alone. People are pack animals... Life is infinitely more enjoyable with a loving partner

[@jerrywise]

Yes. And alone and lonely aren’t the same- Loneliness isn’t a ‘we’ problem, it’s an ‘i’ problem.

[@la6136]

Even a partner is overrated. How many years can you talk and interact with basically one person? Groups of friends are better and more dynamic

[@outoficecream2740]

Thanks jerry I binging on your videos. Looking forward to join soon. Now on Jessica's question... Working in like myself... How to begin like myself, if I don't know who am I? Yesterday I was a supply ... Now is like a lost child on huge shopping centre I can see the options. But other option so far wasn't my reality. I don't how to function in a "normal way" I had to parent my self so far I had create a way to survive. For the ones who will reply... just do it or is your choice. That is a simplistic I have the rational the argument with my self. But my body and mind doesn't automatically forget years abuse and been on flight or fight mode. Please I am not undermine your work... is just questions are rising to myself.

[@jerrywise]

Good reflection Read "Inner Bonding" by Margaret Paul Ame

[@Jen.K]

Thank you, I just found your channel, it was recommended to me by someone on the Out of the Fog forum, (help for people with personality disordered family members). I've already shared your channel, this is very helpful, with a compassionate tone. I like the way you take a generational trauma approach without pointing the blame in one direction. I was emotionally wounded, by my parents, but they were damaged worse by their parents. I don't blame them or have resentment, but I do need to protect myself from further harm, it's not an easy balance. Another great resource for healing from childhood trauma is "From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker. Healing from complex post traumatic stress disorder. Thank you for making your work available online.

[@jerrywise]

Thank you for sharing my work Wishing the best for all the Out of the Fog forum! I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also

[@shahilagh]

I don’t agree I always loved solitude have no problem with aloneness ….. but after many years u need human touch physically

[@j.ahlberg2058]

I grew up in Foster homes I guess I'm a mess At 57. But then I went to school and tried so hard my parents died in 15 and 18 and then my family slaughtered me. I never knew I was so bad until that..

[@patriciapapageorgiou7753]

Your life sounds like mine, except I'm 58. And spent about a year and a half in foster care. I tried, parents died in 15 and 18, family has try to destroy me! If I didn't have two dogs I would not be alive.

[@Sadiya_Tariq_Shannon]

Jerry like 3 months before i thought i don’t want to see this video because i am surrounded by lots of people always. At work and at home too , why would i feel lonely.?🙁 i am here today.

[@victoriaholler2949]

Awesome presentation! Can you help us with reconnecting with our adult children . .

[@jerrywise]

Thank you for watching. Any donation would help in making these videos. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/donations

[@anna-rosephipps3132]

I like you. Thank you

[@torycook1215]

The difference between being alone and feeling lonely is having a purpose in life. Keeping yourself mentally busy and keeping yourself in social contact is important. Get out. Go for a walk or drive in Nature. Be thankful Have gratitude. Feel blessed. 🤗

[@lindatallon4036]

People need loving companionship❤️

[@sll110]

@@lindatallon4036 only People can do that, means you still not healing

[@rochellecaffee1417]

“Me DOESN’T LIKE ME”, WHEN ME DOESN’T TAKE CARE OF ME….THAT IS THE PROBLEM….waiting and expecting that “someone else” is going to do it.

[@katiswan3160]

How do you reparent yourself?

[@mariamalhotra8228]

Dr Judy Rosenbergs free book really helped me to heal the mother-infant disconnect. It's called "Be the Cause - Healing Human Disconnect" :)

[@katiswan3160]

@@mariamalhotra8228 Ok thank you for letting me know. I will check it out.

[@marlenaeva3813]

Isn't setting boundaries and going NC with toxic parents a way to actually connect with your inner child? What about healing codependency? Is this part of the process of inner child connectedness? It would be nice if you'd make more videos on the importance of going NC and how do we actually go NC in a mature way and protect ourselves from that awful rebound. Thanks, Jerry.

[@jerrywise]

Good idea “Standing Strong as an Adult Child of the Narcissist” Workshop Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC July 17th, 2021 Saturday, 1-5pm Eastern time On Zoom Topics: The Illusions of the Narcissist The Trauma of Adult Children of Narcissists Living in the War Zone 7 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You Were Raised by a Narcissist 10 Ways Children of Narcissists Love Differently Healing Your Inner Parts and Inner Bonding Resisting Self-hate, Self-shaming, Self-rejection, Self-abandonment Cutting the Emotional Umbilical Cord: Going No Contact or Low Contact with Toxic Parents Superpowers All Adult Children of Narcissists Have And more… Lead by Jerry Wise Founder of Jerry Wise Relationship Systems and You-tubber of over 250 videos. Q & A Role Plays Volunteer participation You will receive the recorded workshop You will receive the notes for the workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events

[@marlenaeva3813]

@@jerrywise I just saw your answer. If I join your channel now, will I be able to watch the Zoom presentation from July?

[@AMortifyingOrdeal]

Came for the knowledge but now I'm also here for the Dad jokes.

[@finsterthecat]

Is it your inner child talking Is it your Adult talking Or your inner critical parent talking? Your loneliness is about your inner child.

[@sadie9386]

My greatest fear is this: how do I know that I wouldn't have turned out like this anyway, even if I had been raised by kind people? What if this is just who I am?

[@rochellecaffee1417]

Don’t ABANDON “taking care of YOUR OWN NEEDS”. IF YOU DON’T TAKE CARE OF YOU, YOU WILL NOT “LIKE” YOU, because YOU CAN NOT “TRUST” you, TO ATTEND TO YOU AND YOUR NEEDS….which causes you to “look for” or “borrow” the “YOU” of someone else, to “settle” YOU. YOU, “LIKING” YOU, is directly related to WHAT YOU “DO” TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR (1) PHYSICAL, (2) MENTAL, (3) EMOTIONAL, AND (4)SPIRITUAL NEEDS.

[@katiswan3160]

How do you heal from codependency?

[@McFraneth]

work on your boundaries, and learn to tolerate anxiety while you're learning new boundaries. Think logically, and act logically, and ignore your emotions. That's your lizard brain. It's hard at first. Your logical brain will tell you the correct thing to do. Do it. Then ignore your emotional reaction. If it helps the story of Ulysses and the sirens is exactly this : his logic tells him to bypass the sirens, but he tells his men to tie him to the mast so his emotions don't force him to go towards the sirens and destroy the ship on the rocks...

[@katiswan3160]

@@McFraneth Thank you for your help

[@lizafield9002]

Lisa Romano at KZbin has great stuff--hilarious, gritty & real, very kind & practical. I'm not affiliated, just a recovering codependent feeling alive again!

[@katiswan3160]

@@lizafield9002 Thank you I like Lisa A Romano

[@katiswan3160]

@Hi How are you What the author names?

[@notnow7829]

When you said you habe to find yourself before finding a partner..I know people who are an emotional mess but still found partners to stick by them. So why do I have to find myself first but they dont?

[@Happy78704gal]

@Not now unfortunately, we are not all dealt the same cards in life! I have asked that same question myself in the past. Now I know that God has a purpose for my restructuring, so I will just start my relationship better when he sends me the right one.

[@bluehorizons8913]

generally if you are abused as a child you will pick abusive or harmful relationships since that’s what’s normal to us. That’s why some of us need to get ourselves together and love and appreciate ourselves so we can find a healthy partner that loves us the same way.

[@Sandromeda.]

Ikr. It's as if they love each other towards health and it seems to be more natural and beautiful to me. They learn to see themselves in a more loving light through the eyes of the other. Self love makes sense, but I would prefer that route as well. I mean you can't give yourself a hug can you. All the little things that are actually only enjoyable if someone else does them. Of course, positive self talk and caring about our inner being is important but I clearly miss another as well.

[@hoops8534]

Oh nooo, I often say to my boys, we must always remain humble 😔 oh wow 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@WeAreNot4Sale]

You ain't the only one doing that, me too.

[@mariamalhotra8228]

Starts at 6.40

[@dancCONSTANT]

I will probably get a dog, a golden labrador

[@yall2743]

35:00

[@edgreen8140]

Jerry your sideways your not splitting but your sideways now upside down. Good The Shadow integrate it. Somehow we need to learn to love ourselves. You can be alone when others are around. Focus on yourself. Do something nice for yourself. So how did you do it? Inner child work w a therapist or by yourself.

[@jerrywise]

I have done all those things Ed

[@edgreen8140]

@@jerrywise it takes time. Thank you for responding. I have found observe don't absorb to be a wonderful way of detaching and observing when with toxic people. I would be interested in knowing if you studied salvador manuchin and other family therapists. I like Jay Haleys work make the symptom to expensive . I get a lot out of you videos. The reminder that people may have some work to do and not to enable them by doing things for them that they can do themselves. I find inner childwork hard but gratifying as i was in a car accident 30 years ago and have a head injury. So no more visual images when i meditate. I wondered if you would recommend innerchild work be done w a therapist instead of alone. You'r system view is very helpful as it been quite some time since i did marital or family work but still remember it.

[@victoriaholler2949]

Can you show the books that you are suggesting for us please

[@jerrywise]

I know one of them is healing your aloneness by margaret paul. I am trying to do better at showing the books I recommend.

[@JesseWickline]

What do you mean by differentiate ?

[@jerrywise]

Emotionally healthy distancing You can write to me and I will send you a reading list www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/contact

[@jerishull1860]

I love me (and you don't have to)

[@virginiahastings]

This would be more helpful if it were better edited

[@loudloveen]

🌹