Narcissistic Family: Busting 8 Myths They Made You Believe

Are you afraid of your feelings? Are you thinking others control your feelings? Do you think you can control the feelings of others? Do you think if you change or fix others then they will change? Do you believe there is something wrong with you? Do you believe you are worthless or defective? Do you believe you would not survive your feelings?
Jerry Wise describes 8 major false beliefs believed by most people. These beliefs keep us stuck, keep us sick, and keep us emotionally reactive.
Jerry Wise a self-differentiation coach tells his viewers to reject these beliefs so they can find health and freedom.
👇🏼This is how I can help you 👇🏼
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2) FREE Toolkit for Instant Family & Relationship Detachment
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3) 🔥🔥🔥6-week online program 'Your New Road To SELF': Break free from toxic family patterns, heal the damage, and discover your true self!
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🌐 Website:
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Special thanks to Dr. Margaret Paul and her work "Inner Bonding" and the "Inner Bonding Workbook"
Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC has over 232 videos on You Tube.
#detachment #enmeshment #falsebeliefs #Innerbonding #Bowenfamilysystems #selfdifferentiation
If you would like to learn how to recover through detachment and self-differentiation ...contact Jerry Wise and his team.
To work with Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC or one of his team members associates, contact him at
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317-919-6264
[e-mail]
He and his team work with individuals, couples, and families and businesses to become strong self-differentiating people and leaders.
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"Not How but When" by Jerry Wise
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[@jerrywise]

👇🏼This is how I can help you 👇🏼 ➡FREE 84-Minute Training: "Build The REAL SELF You Were Never Allowed To Have!" jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 🆘FREE Toolkit for Instant Family & Relationship Detachment join.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/welcome/ 🔥🔥🔥 6-week online program 'Your New Road To SELF': Break free from toxic family patterns, heal the damage, and discover your true self! program.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/welcome/

[@PS-xb9hc]

Never depend on others to make you happy, you'll suffered tremendously

[@foxiefair123]

That is so insanely true.😂💯💕

[@user-zx4cr7ef3s]

Thank you. I need my daughter (21 years old) to know this.

[@rebellaire55]

This is one of the must know life wisdom 💯

[@Zoya194]

The false beliefs : 1.There is something wrong with me. I’m .. all the negatives.. so I will not be loved by others. 2. I’m powerless over how I feel. Nobody can help therefore am a victim. 3. Others feelings are more important than mine and am responsible for their feelings. 4. I can control how others think of me and treat me. 5. Resisting others control over me is essential for my integrity. Resisting is the only way not to lose myself. 6. I can’t handle pain, discomfort, fears, hurt, grief, boredom, shame, loneliness etc. so I need substances, anger, addictions to handle this. WE FEAR WE CANT SURVIVE OUR OWN FEELINGS. 7. If I change others I will be changed too as a result. 8. If I only work on changing me it won’t change others. Please listen to what he says though. I wrote this down only so when I come to this video again I’ll have it written as notes. Thank u so much Jerry for ur work.

[@StandupGirl-ym3ey]

I have number 1 VERY BAD!! 😞😞

[@anjanakale]

Thank you..

[@pennyc7064]

Thank you for the notes!

[@gauritherapy]

👍

[@ladennayoung2939]

Thanks for sharing this. God bless. Nehemiah 8:10 (KJV) Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

[@brendaplunkett8659]

That was exactly what my Dad wanted. Us to give him attention constantly and never hurt his feelings. His feelings were the only feelings allowed and they ONLY feelings that matters and he would often TELL us how we felt.

[@user-lo4wl6wd7f]

Wow, Are we siblings?

[@brendaplunkett8659]

@@user-lo4wl6wd7f Maybe, Lol.

[@WriterK]

exactly my father!! very touchy very sensitive; demands us to worship him, while we must be rocks and take his punches and knives and swords thrown by his bitter spiteful tongue! my heart races and comes to my throat every time I go visit him.

[@starlingswallow]

Same here 😢

[@Virgo333]

That's my mother

[@lindaschwab4665]

It took me years to sit with my feelings while I sorted them out. After a lifetime of shattered crazy family chaos I learned to wait a minute before I reacted.

[@littlefrances70]

Stunned at how powerfully these 8 hit me. Especially #1 and #4. You are changing lives. THANK YOU from deep down. A blessing.

[@ebsfgg]

looking good, brother

[@eileenoconnor391]

Jerry you're a breath of light in my shadowed and stifling world. Shine on you amazing diamond.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My mom says that only I am responsible for my own happiness.

[@rechargedaily905]

You’ve made such a difference in my healing and recovery. I love you and appreciate you very much. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@rahrahrobbbieee]

These are powerful beliefs to overcome. I have come to this very late in life. I often think that the damage done is insurmountable. I can help others but there seems to be no help for me. 😟😟😢😢

[@timihatter7841]

Your work does not only change, but also safe lives. Especially during still very harsh corona measures in Southern Germany😷🤐😷🤐😷😷

[@jerrywise]

Timi, its always my pleasure to make videos that helps and I'm glad that it was helpful to you and your healing journey.

[@hope46sf]

Thank you, again! It is interesting how when one person in a group learns to "grow up" it can free others to look inside themselves and grow. Your videos are so packed w important information that I have to watch them over and over.

[@chriss5889]

I wish that there was a love button. Mr Wise, thank-you

[@darinsmith2458]

I can relate to every one of these. The one that really sticks out to me and I found out about it on my first 4th step was how others control me. I guess I really didn't understand what you were saying about that. I do know that when I stopped reacting to the people who controlled me then they did not want anything to do with me.

[@jerrywise]

If they want nothing to do with you, that is up to them to decide same like we can decide to stop reacting to them. Often when we stop reacting we break the circuit ❤️

[@darinsmith2458]

@@jerrywise My experience is that they just find someone else to react with and that is totally fine with me.

[@jerrywise]

@@darinsmith2458 I’ll edit- “we break the circuit with us”

[@darinsmith2458]

@@jerrywise i totally understand that

[@monicamoore189]

minute 21 healed me!!!!!! I have that experience all the time. Grieving things before they come so that I am prepared. Those words fell on me. Thank you.

[@jerrywise]

That's wonderful Monica Thanks for watching “Standing Strong as an Adult Child of the Narcissist” Workshop Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC July 17th, 2021 Saturday, 1-5pm Eastern time On Zoom Topics: The Illusions of the Narcissist The Trauma of Adult Children of Narcissists Living in the War Zone 7 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You Were Raised by a Narcissist 10 Ways Children of Narcissists Love Differently Healing Your Inner Parts and Inner Bonding Resisting Self-hate, Self-shaming, Self-rejection, Self-abandonment Cutting the Emotional Umbilical Cord: Going No Contact or Low Contact with Toxic Parents Superpowers All Adult Children of Narcissists Have And more… Lead by Jerry Wise Founder of Jerry Wise Relationship Systems and You-tubber of over 250 videos. Q & A Role Plays Volunteer participation You will receive the recorded workshop You will receive the notes for the workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events

[@karenkasteler942]

Thanks Jerry....you make yourself SO RELATABLE....God bless you.

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome

[@steliosfanourakis7366]

My mother can control us. Trust me. She grows controlling power everyday

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad still tries, on the rare times I deal with him. He is overbearing. I am so done with that!

[@sannajohanna5579]

Life is so complicated, a big dissapointment. All life goes on things like this. I am deeply disappointed in life.

[@beayates6228]

Feeling same way ~ it's understandable that we get to this point at times: overwhelmed , confused, and discouraged with all of life. I had an extremely bad night with this last night. I feel a little more at peace and comfort this morning~ but I know it wont be the last time I feel that way. I saw your comment and identified with it and I want ypu to know that you are not alone in feeling this way about life. And that it is completely normal to feel this way although painful. Please know that I am praying for comfort, strength, and peace for you and for all of us in the midst of these storms we face daily. God loves us and has given us one another to come along side and encourage each other in the darkness. Peace and comfort I pray over you. God Bless and keep you always.

[@rosevan7845]

Well Sanna, If you think life if is disappointing wait till you die. Massive disappointment. Everyone promises heaven and all you get is worms and decay. Try keeping your muscle tone with no blood flow, complicated as it is, its the only way we've figured out how to get any thing done.

[@edwardgreacen1833]

I will be listening to this podcast a lot. As an INFJ personality-type, I am susceptible to believing in myths about feelings more than most other personality types. Growing up in a narcissistic family, I banked on every one of these myths. I didn't understand when my siblings ignored them, especially when they claimed they were untrue!!!!! Jerry does a good job of unraveling where these myths attach to us, and how we manipulate ourselves when we act on them. No wonder I felt like I was play-acting all the time!!!

[@michellebennie5590]

Wow!! I can relate to EVERYTHING in this video. I am avoident of my feelings often. But I am learning to deal with my feelings now. Yes dealing with grief and loss was so unbearable for me. And when my Mum passed away 5 months ago, I have learnt so much since then. It has been very hard and very sad. But day by day I am getting through my feelings more. Thank you Jerry 😊

[@chilloften]

Jerry, you calm my inner being. Thank you, beauty-full soul, for sharing to me what you know. I adore. 🔥🌹

[@jerrywise]

Wow, thank you

[@holographicpeople2204]

You are amazing Thank you! I’m going to listen to this with my teenagers, they need to understand how most people feel bc it’s the new society nowadays. So many if not most people feel this way.

[@darialo8740]

Great idea - teens will benefit from this for sure.

[@nickfirer9968]

There IS an internal logic between 2 and 3 though. "I cannot control MY feelings, they come in response to what others do, THEREFORE others' feelings come as response to what *I* do." and vice versa.

[@adrianascholtz3500]

Thank you, Jerry for your wonderful videos. It is all very helpful. We have learnt and grow and heal and change so much because of you. Love from South Africa

[@margareeta1369]

A couple years ago a mental healthcare professional told me that I am young and don't yet have the confidence that will come with age. I would have liked to believe that but I know that there's a lot of work for me to do.

[@chunkysocks8121]

This hit home. My mom loves me when I mold myself to her needs and make her happy, masking my personality. But if I express hurt at her behavior or point out something I dislike, or express a vulnerability, I am nothing but trash to her. She has no trouble throwing me away for months at a time until shes ready to come back and pretend it never happened, and call me unreasonable if I’m not willing to pretend she did nothing wrong.

[@rebellaire55]

Self-reinvention is a greatest gift ACoNs can give themselves. Thank you Jerry for helping me heal further and move on with my life.

[@joanhenry650]

Jerry as always such good content. #6 was a very helpful new insight of fearing I can’t handle my emotions.. did not totally understand the overwhelming feelings is really an unconscious fear of how I could not handle my own emotions. The old message “ you should not feel this or that” just freezes and causes overwhelm when I do feel the feelings that are typically normal.. sadness, grief, aloneness. I liked the message I can feel those feelings but not be overwhelmed or stuck in them and there is definitely “ nothing wrong with you! Thank you so much!❤️Thanks for helping us “Be Wise!” 😁

[@Spirit.282]

Wow I’m going to have to listen to this again and again. So many nuggets of wisdom in this. A lot of the points totally hit home for me. Thank you Jerry ❤️

[@jerrywise]

Fantastic!

[@yuk498]

@@jerrywise How do you know all this Jerry? 🤩😅

[@CareBlair222]

I'm trying hard to stop family pain with my mothering. I had to cut out my parents. I felt like they were slowly killing me.

[@ladennayoung2939]

Sorry you went through that. I pray that things get better for you in Jesus' name. AMEN.

[@theforeigner6988]

@@ladennayoung2939amen. Is the answer... our true helper. Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪

[@stefdiazdiaz7067]

I did preparatory grief for all my family when I was around 10

[@rahrahrobbbieee]

Number 3 is a killer but they are all so much of my inner life. It is a daily struggle.

[@Delgado-ot4lq]

Very valuable information. You mentioned that resisting control is not helpful either and I was wondering what is your definition of resisting as it relates to this video? You mentioned stepping away - what does stepping away look like if is different than resisting or pushing people away? Thank you!

[@mmmm1llla]

Such an incredible video. Pure gold.

[@halarefaat964]

❤❤needed this

[@iw9338]

Great teaching, thank you.

[@jerrywise]

You are very welcome Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@tanyakashyap6944]

Thank you 😊 Jerry 💞

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome

[@KenKaneki-te9ko]

Nice video dud, keep it up

[@anitabubic6094]

Jerry , you are the best!

[@andreio3426]

Thank you so very much, JERRY! ❤

[@erolgermannemmanuel5637]

Thank you; I will need some time to let all that sink in Dr. Wise.

[@lessandra602]

Be Wise🙏

[@kareemmohammed5270]

resonate, need to watch this a few times for it to sink in. much appreciated Jerry

[@bobhope5114]

Excellent work!

[@elliedees3276]

Thanks!

[@tulsibloom]

Beautiful. Amazing work. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@mariarichards5221]

Thankyou. loved your quotes at the end. Not overdone , just enough for impact❤🌹🙏🍁

[@ladennayoung2939]

Sorry for your loss, Doctor Jerry Wise.

[@tullysoulliere8103]

Thank you so very much for this wonderful vid.Very very helpful!

[@jerrywise]

Glad it was helpful!

[@darialo8740]

Great video - thank you!

[@rturney6376]

So good!! I am going to rewritten into the positive instead of the negative 🌻🙏❤️😘🥰😍🌹🌹🌹🌹

[@victoriajensen8484]

Thanks SO much Jerry, this is a very helpful video! Truly appreciated 🙏🏼

[@totalwomanja9105]

I simply want to say thank you. Your work a blessing to me.

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome

[@nylaclancy2655]

I love your talks.great info.!! You are making a differance.would love to take your classes but I'm on Disability but if I ever can I sure will do the work.in the meantime I'll put what I'm learning to practice and send as many ppl your way as I can.Thank You for the wisdom you are sharing..such a gift.❤

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional

[@C-Span222]

Thank you so much!

[@jerrywise]

You're welcome!

[@massangabe]

Danke!

[@jerrywise]

Thank you for the support, I really appreciate it! ❤️

[@mirvatsuhail2812]

thank you

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome Thank you for watching… “Standing Strong as an Adult Child of the Narcissist” Workshop Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC July 17th, 2021 Saturday, 1-5pm Eastern time On Zoom Topics: The Illusions of the Narcissist The Trauma of Adult Children of Narcissists Living in the War Zone 7 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You Were Raised by a Narcissist 10 Ways Children of Narcissists Love Differently Healing Your Inner Parts and Inner Bonding Resisting Self-hate, Self-shaming, Self-rejection, Self-abandonment Cutting the Emotional Umbilical Cord: Going No Contact or Low Contact with Toxic Parents Superpowers All Adult Children of Narcissists Have And more… Lead by Jerry Wise Founder of Jerry Wise Relationship Systems and You-tubber of over 250 videos. Q & A Role Plays Volunteer participation You will receive the recorded workshop You will receive the notes for the workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events

[@user-oq9kb5oi5f]

Thank you so much

[@jerrywise]

You're most welcome

[@barriemacfarlane]

Very helpful ! So much to learn and much is contained in this video. 🙏🥰

[@jerrywise]

Glad it was helpful!

[@gbluesky4264]

Thank you!You are a Good person!!!!

[@jerrywise]

So nice of you

[@jenovationmusic]

Thank you! Your videos are truly helpful.

[@jerrywise]

Glad you like them!

[@Lyrielonwind]

Great video and I love the final quotes, especially the one by Tolstoy. Thank you ❤

[@jerrywise]

Glad you liked it!

[@avonleamontague2469]

You're looking healthier and healthier. Maybe you'll share your journey with us sometime 😊 Thank you for your work on these videos. You're able to connect with your viewers in was others cannot.

[@jerrywise]

Someday I will share my stories Thank you for watching. Any donation would help in making these videos. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/donations

[@kre8iveingenuity228]

In short: Feeling overwhelmed by the issues due to lack of proper upbringing & everything else.

[@ccharles848]

18:45 🤯🙏🏽💕

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

There's something wrong witht my narcissistic dad, not me!

[@sassysandie2865]

Do you have a link for the workshop on Dec. 5th?

[@sassysandie2865]

@@joemark4949 thank you!

[@karishort1891]

It's 3:33 pm ❤️

[@jerrywise]

Keep it up❤️ ❤️

[@SoniaProteau-cj6tk]

Everybody is the family have jokers lol 😂😂😂😂

[@gailfleming1115]

and I was the teachers daughter, hmmm

[@SoniaProteau-cj6tk]

They are have cancer now lol 😂😂😂, it s only marketing

[@billyb4790]

All of them…. So why does this happen with narcissistic survivors?

[@latteda4652]

Hmmm. It’s sad that you were a pastor and considered the family prayer a “burden.”

[@jerrywise]

Yes, because it is based decades of family expectations and family roles not in loving God etc

[@rahrahrobbbieee]

So true. @@jerrywise

[@marylappegard5000]

Thanks!

[@jenovationmusic]

Thanks!

[@jerrywise]

Welcome!