“Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Disown Themselves”- LISA ROMANO

#narcissisticmother #daughtersofnarcissisticmothers #adultchildrenofalcoholics If you are the adult daughter of a narcissistic mother, you must break free of your mother's toxic karma. As a daughter, you have grown up craving her love, but you may never have gained her love due to her narcissism, alcoholism, or immaturity. As a result, feeling abandoned and unworthy has left you emotionally wounded.
If you are the adult child of an alcoholic or narcissist and a mother yourself, you must awaken from living below the veil of consciousness. You must take up the call to heal your life to save your children from repeating your mother's karma, which she, by default, passed along to you.
Despite being raised by narcissistic, alcoholic, and even codependent mothers, we can awaken and heal our lives. We can break the karmic spell and step into our highest spiritual power! We can manage duality and live above the veil of consciousness.
When we break the spell of karma, we help heal the world and push consciousness forward!
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Lisa A. Romano is a Certified Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in helping adult children from toxic homes heal the abandonment wounds responsible for codependent, narcissistic relationship dynamics. In 2020 she was voted the #1 most Influential Person of the Year by Digital Journal and one of the Top Ten Inspirational Women of 2021. In 2022, she was voted one of the Top 30 Female Entrepreneurs To Look Out For by Entrepreneurs Herald.
Her books Codependency Manifesto and Codependent Now What? It's Not You -- It's Your Programming have been voted two of the best books on codependency. In February of 2021, she was voted one of the Top Mental Health Experts to watch by Yahoo Finance. In March of 2021, USA Today voted her book Codependent Now What, one of the top 20 must-reads for anyone looking to upgrade their personal and professional lives. Her podcast Breakdown to Breakthrough is a consistent top 100 broadcast on mental health issues. Actors from the hit movie WAVES credited Lisa during an LA Times interview for helping them prepare for their roles as children of narcissistic parents spiraling out of control due to toxic family relationships. Her work reaches millions of viewers monthly via her KZbin channel with nearly 600K subscribers. Her flagship program, The 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program, has helped thousands of wounded adult children awaken their consciousness. Her passion for helping other wounded adult children stems from her codependency recovery journey. Lisa's understanding of generational trauma helped her recognize familial dysfunction as a form of subconscious programming passed to future generations. Her desire to spare her three children from the faulty subconscious programs that ruled her life gave her the courage to end her toxic marriage and face her low self-worth, abandonment issues, and codependency traits head-on.
To learn more, visit www.lisaaromano.com
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#emotionalneglect #emotionalwellness #mentalhealth #adultchildrenofalcoholics #daughtersofnarcissisticmothers #narcissisticmother #codependency #lisaaromano #codependencycoaching #codependencyrecovery #codependencycoachforwomen #codependencycoach

[@donnapetty6719]

Yes, I absolutely needed sent here. It's like you know me and your talking to me about my life. My abandonment issues destroy every relationship in my life.

[@bumblebee_mrs]

Me too. So does my CPTSD. I hear you.

[@JustaGirlinCleveland]

I think we all felt that way when we found Lisa

[@hotfudgecake]

SAME

[@mayhorse66]

Completely resonate.

[@mayhorse66]

@@bumblebee_mrs I also have CPTSD.

[@maythewindblow3734]

After a lifetime of my mom telling me how terrible my father was, I am now realizing she is the main contributor of my traumas.

[@happygucci5094]

You too? 😢🥹😭🤦🏽‍♀️

[@dutch__mermaid602]

Same

[@reesedaniel5835]

@@patrician844 Yes. Same here. My enabling father chose to drink instead of "growing a pair" and standing up to his abusive "martyr" wife. She fooled everyone but me, the oldest and the family Scapegoat. According to my obese narc mother, everything wrong with the family was either my fault or my dad's.

[@AuthenticAwareness]

​@@reesedaniel5835 omg this is my life....

[@MeliChappell]

Isn’t this a rude awakening!?!! And the realization a double-edged gift at the same time.

[@dollyshortcake7515]

I have to say, when I was a child, I remember looking at my mom and thinking something wasn't right with the way she treated me. I was awake at a young age, but I felt the guilt and blamed myself for everything. I tried to succeed just so my mom would be proud of me. It was never enough. At 43, one day I just had enough, and I just stopped. I haven't seen my mom and dad in 7 years. I miss them terrible, but I don't suffer everyday anymore. I know she will never work with me, so I gave up. I raised a son who is now 17 and I changed everything for him and he's a senior in high school, kind, loving, respectful, and has wonderful self esteem. I succeeded because I was self aware at such a young age. I thank God everyday for that wisdom so young. Good luck all narcissistic daughters. I'm very sad I will never get a sorry but I'm working through not regretting my choice and lack of her love.

[@stacierose1692]

🙏🙏🙏

[@WhaleCommunicators]

Their LOVE is broken - its not what LOVE really is. I'm glad you had a son and I'm glad you've healed and continue to grow. And excellent job on mothering a child to adulthood who doesn't have to deal with this kind of thing in their life. That was truly a mother's love and a gift to your son.

[@norama3998]

أبقي على اتٌصال بوالديك برسالة واحدة مرٌة في العام على الأقلٌ ..أكتبي لهما انًك كنتِ تتمنٌين معاملة لطيفة منها ..لا يهمّ عدم الرّد عليك .. الجميع سوف نُحاسب على أفعالنا يوم الحقّ و العدل

[@SkyePhoenix]

I also knew there was something wrong with my mother from a very young age (4 years old)

[@elizagoodytwoshoes9140]

​@@norama3998no as then you are still feeling obligated and you can send energetic love and forgiveness, let go and let God.

[@cynthiakleist9513]

my mom was a narcissist but i gave it right back to her. she was critical, nasty condescending and Jealous. Everytime she said something hurtful I just gave it back to her and mimicked her. I know she was jealous of me because years ago I was a newspaper reporter and actually had a job in my hometown and my relatives and friends were acknowledge me to her and she blew a gasket. So everytime I saw her I wore my press cards. When she said I was showing off I said "right back at you" when she gave me the silent treatment I did it to her. This is not easy but she stopped and she doesn't bother with that much and honestly it is difficult but I stood my ground and made my own life. I don't care if your mother is 50 90 or 190 they will never change. She said when I was born she told me she didn't want me so I told her I didn''t want her and stuck to my guns. When you are a punching bag learn to punch back.

[@YildizKilic11]

Whatever works I guess…My mother is exactly the same! It makes me sick to the core to think she could be jealous of her own daughter…I don’t take it either, but she manages to ruin my days…

[@ooohlaa13]

revenge can never heal ... you will be stuck in the reactive mode and the war will go on in your head forever ... understanding of self and forgiveness of her will do wonders for you ... otherwise you are doing more of the same because she had a mother who had a mother who had a mother ... ad infinitum all the way back to the Empress of China as in Dory Previn's song. Either the beat stops here, or the beat goes on and retaliation gets on other people, not just on your mother and even worse, in your own psyche. You deserve to do the hard work and have a healing. For me it has been a LifesWork and I personally consider forgiveness, acceptance of what we cannot change, and understanding to be a worthy and noble way to attend to one's interior life.

[@scotchdopole]

Damn right. I just wish I hit her back.

[@lcflngn]

@@ooohlaa13There’s understanding, and there’s forgiveness. I get the first, but forgiveness is elusive. Not honestly too worried about it. Began to disconnect my emotions around her a long time ago. Still feel the push against that, but working on it every day.

[@ooohlaa13]

@@lcflngn me too after all the words of forgiveness and rehashing and praying and too numerous therapies to even recall of one kind of another, out of the blue will come some stinging memory of abuse or neglect and I am stunned that it is still emotionally alive despite all my attempts at undoing. I guess what I mean by forgiveness is a conscious willingness that that is my only solution. My mom and I healed seething on her death bed, I asked her for forgiveness and she said I feel I should be asking you, and we embraced and cried some together but the emotional history is alive and well despite all this. I don't blame her though at the end I was as sad for her as I was for me.

[@Keepingitreallyreal]

It has been remarkably freeing to have had no contact with my mother since June. No drama, no manipulation, no guilt, shame, blame, insults, tearful outbursts, “poor me” martyr stories, no more gaslighting. Life has been peaceful, predictable and reflective of what I want to experience each day. My mother’s life choices and struggles with the need to manipulate and control others reflect her unhealed self. I released her with love.

[@playadremingrl]

That was beautiful. I wish you all the happiness ❤️

[@nickid5210]

It's freedom ❤️

[@geogriapeach5211]

I cut ties with my mom. Such a relief. Others made me feel guilty.

[@ellasoes8325]

I re-contacted my mine after a year of no-contact.

[@shoppertattoo]

@@ellasoes8325 how did that go? I’ve been no contact for almost a year

[@geogriapeach5211]

I had a relationship with a man that later I realized was just like my mom.

[@BlaecOleander]

Same here, sis. In fact, it'll be almost a year since I dumped him in a few days...That sai, glad you got away and I hope you're living your best life

[@ellisburton8733]

Been there hun 💐

[@conniefoss3382]

My 1st divorce, same thing.

[@jjjackson5183]

Just trying to recreate and "fix" that relationship.

[@noirhorror197]

Here too twice.

[@nathaliedufour3891]

Thank you so much. She stole my life. I've been fighting the same battles for 59 years , with complex ptsd. My father was worse because he saw, he knew, and did nothing.

[@bebediamond1395]

Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone. God bless!

[@rubylily9671]

Oh mama..I feel u...50 in a few months and every day is a fight

[@MLD-RN]

OMG. My Dad, too. I’m 48. They are 80 and 81 and Ive had to stop communicating with both of my parents bc its just getting worse. Now he sides with her more than ever and now doesn’t talk to me at all.

[@BambiOnIce19]

Been there too. It’s devastating

[@DawnNY]

Why do I turn to the KZbin comments for support? I'm 59 with 80 year old narc parents and I just cry. Reading comments helps but boy I wish we didn't have to deal with it. Empaths are some of the most beautiful people in the world. Thank you. Blessings to you all.🙏🏼💐

[@individualwoman8427]

My mother is a massive narc. Haven’t spoken to her in over 2 years and my blood pressure has come down.

[@butterflychaser4538]

Isn’t it crazy how it manifests in physical symptoms? It was alarming and eye opening for me that I went from having hypertensive bp to now a super healthy bp within 2 months of moving away from my horrific mother. I won’t need meds anymore and it was all because of her. Cheers to good health and no mothers around to ruin it!

[@olivias.1680]

I’m just finding out how it can even change our faces. So sad

[@MichellePettway]

My blood pressure also went down as well when I did the same

[@AbsoluteMdot]

This is my mother. She is jealous and envious of me. As an adult she still tries to hold me back, lies on me, makes fun of me and tries to bring me down.

[@bf6048]

I’m 64. Still overcoming the trauma this caused me in my childhood. It’s taken me years to realize I deserve respect and love. I no longer tolerate these people I avoid them.

[@lynnglass575]

Same feel your pain I am 60 very sad it took me so long honestly didn’t know it was abuse it was normal to me

[@Truologye]

I'm 55, we are one❤

[@AnnaConsiglio-tm6fk]

I’m 61 and I too just now allowed myself to feel the emotions of the abuse and trauma at the hands of a narcissistic mother. I hope I’m on the path to heal so that I can be a better person to myself. It’s never too late, we deserve it, hugs to you!

[@LifeOfAnEmpath]

I had to break free from the pattern of my narcissistic parent because I started to attract narcissistic MEN. It doesn't get better until you start to self-reflect, awaken and put yourself first and only if need be.

[@GG-wp5do]

True... this was my life for 20 years until I recently realized all these connections

[@Aurora-Rose01]

Same! It's best to focus on your own healing and away from toxicity. That's what I tell myself!

[@tnmom1017]

I did the same. Not once but twice. I was gaslit for trying to get help.

[@myvettebeauty9005]

THIS!

[@madamdardis]

I hear that

[@TheCoffeeCat]

I did not have children by choice, and now at 42 I'm finally at peace living by myself and have given up on relationships, after so many disappointments. I'm choosing to save myself at last.

[@carrieannearts]

I wish I had have had your wisdom, my kids have been traumatized by my trauma of a narc/alcoholic mother.

[@TheCoffeeCat]

@@carrieannearts I'm sure you have done a 100x better job than your mother. We have all inherited our parent's traumas.

[@Walklikeaduck111]

Same situation. Its a relief. I still struggle to Understand my parents behavior though.

[@TheCoffeeCat]

@@Walklikeaduck111 Maybe it cannot be understood, maybe even they don't understand why they act the way they do. I hope you find peace of mind.

[@HeidiAmericanPatriot]

me too and I also never wanted kids either. I'm so drained from all of it. Just want to be alone and have peace

[@bumblebee_mrs]

Life as a scapegoat has been hell on earth. Sometimes I wondered why I was even here. I was stuck in the matrix too long.

[@HK-pp9ig]

Bumble bee - when your path crosses that of a narcissist, it is as if you been hit by a runaway train - you suffer and search for the light, and you get hit again and again... there is no way out. Even when you are out you are damaged; it will take a lot of time to heal, but the scars will remain forever with you... deep into your soul, never fully healing.

[@bumblebee_mrs]

@@HK-pp9ig It sux and it hurts. It sounds like there is no hope of fully healing, the way you describe it.

[@regitzevictoria8959]

@bumble Bee, I feel the aame. Life aa a acapegoat has been hell on Earth. I could not undertand why I was made to breathe, while life/everyone so clearly didnt want me here in life. I am grateful that I am not alone any more with this experience. Before, I could go nowhere with this life experience. Too extreme for ordinary people. Well, this is mine, and now it does not end in utter despair and self blame. Life as a scapegoat to a narcisistic and alcoholic mother. And with a father who silently watched it all play out, who almost never interfered. That is mega trauma. Double trauma. His extreme omission, his huge shame burden of not having protected me, by removing me, is somethibg I have carried around all my life. Thank you so much

[@bumblebee_mrs]

@@regitzevictoria8959 My absolute pleasure to be of any kind of help. I had a malignant mother, alcoholic father who never once protected me either. And a goldenchild sister who snitched on anything I did to try and be normal. So, I hear you and I feel you. We are not alone in our healing. Thank you for your honesty too.

[@sophial.2438]

You're here to break that cycle of generational abuse. No other job in the world is more important than that!

[@starlingswallow]

I think both of my parents are narcissists....it's insane. Like a complete reality shift. This is SO hard! 😢

[@nonononoa]

i know. its almost like a fever dream

[@Cass_772]

same here, it feels like life refuses you to being love... that's how I feel... no one to truly trust... where and to whom do we turn too when needed... it is hard

[@darlenedula5264]

I to have both parents who are narcissistic.horrible life for 67 yrs..

[@fifilafleur5555]

Yes! Both my mom & my dad are narcs. My dad, who raised me, was absolutely brutal to me growing up. I was a soft sensitive little girl but he didn’t care. He took out all his anger, frustration & inability to deal with stress on me & a stepbrother.

[@quynhg4074]

Yup, what are the chances? Huh? I’m 50 years old now and live far from them! Healing!

[@caraelsenoldenburg8848]

This is where I am now. I’m no longer scared, my daughters should not carry the curse. When you know better, do better. 😍

[@sylviaowega3839]

As my own daughters! 🤗

[@darkhorse7460]

Please tell me how! I want to be a good parent and not carry this into another generation!

[@cynbadlonewolf9455]

Her hate and resentment wasn’t enough till the entire family was against me. Unreal

[@Healingaura444]

It’s crazy how the rest of the family suddenly stops speaking to you after you go no contact with a narc mom.

[@cynbadlonewolf9455]

@@Healingaura444 I will never see or speak to any of them again.

[@Healingaura444]

⁠@@cynbadlonewolf9455Same. More power to us ❤

[@cynbadlonewolf9455]

Ditto

[@andreakay6061]

They were in your life to show you who you are. Now you see it you no longer need them and can follow a new path.

[@ashajeremiahqw8775]

I feel like I lost my mom even though she is still here :/

[@tariq3080]

😢me too it’s like she doesn’t see me or hear me: our conversation has to stay with her . I feel in mourning

[@ashajeremiahqw8775]

@@tariq3080 I’m sorry :/

[@tariq3080]

But things are looking up for us. Prayer patience and honest understanding. Timing too

[@ashajeremiahqw8775]

@@tariq3080 I’ll keep praying🙏🏾

[@BobbiGail]

See, the weird thing here is that I am here and my mom treats me like I'm dead. Ignores me but talks to my kids. Wants me to say I do everything wrong and apologize for moving, and I am FINALLY at a place where I can be ok not doing that. In the past, I just apologized for whatever grievance against me she had against me that week and it kept the peace. After 30 years of therapy I've decided that I am allowed an opinion and a separate life.

[@serendipity0775]

Trauma bonding, second guessing yourself, walking on egg shells and attracting toxic partners are the direct dall outs....

[@heatherlyon4892]

The idea of being in your mother's karmic wheel is so spot on it's mind blowing. This was so healing for me, it actually brought me to tears.

[@lisaaromano1]

So happy it helps🤗

[@afterthestorm221]

You nailed it my mother always projected the energy that I was defective just like my father, when in reality she was the broken one causing her husband and her daughter to struggle.

[@jazmina1343]

I experience this narrative growing up. Thank you for sharing.

[@twai2623]

this is exactly our family dynamics. my father wasn't perfect but he tried his best and had a good understanding of the world. unfortunately, my mother made him believe he was lesser until he let go and just stopped trying. which made her think she was right.

[@jaky411]

Same. My mother was not only codependent but also a very broken person that married my college educated father for the sake of living an easy life but when things didn’t turn out the way how she planned b/c of her not setting any boundaries with herself with her toxic family members to meddle into our family business/way of doing things, she ruined her own mental health and caused my dad and me to constantly having to please her and nothing my dad and I ever did as a family was good enough for her or satisfied her own loneliness…

[@kili8459]

You summed up my whole life!

[@kenyam8127]

Yess!!! This is it....I had anxiety because of her.

[@azinkspot]

I saved my mothers life when I was three. She passed out and was bleeding out from a bad abortion. I ran to the neighbors an they got her help. I am an only child. She abused me physically and mentally till my father died and I went no contact with her. I was 57. I was the best thing I ever did ! Heal yourself and your children by leaving the narcissist as soon as you can !

[@lynnglass575]

I have also helped my mother get the help she needed when she had pancreatitis with liver problem through ignoring gall bladder problems. I have took her to the hospital many times with infected diverticulitis which are serious infections. I have honestly emotionally looked after her from the age of 6 when my autistic father left. She has burnt me out hundreds of times believes I was born to be her slave. I told her I needed help, as I couldn’t do all this on my own. She said she would agree to getting a home help. When the social worker came she told them she needed no help was totally independent and told the social worker that her son in law got her messages for her every week when I her daughter am with him. The social worker must have thought I was a self daughter wanting to do nothing all lies. I thought I’m done with this shite. Finally at the age of 60 I am no longer running to her every whim. It’s very very sad that it’s taken to get to this age before I actually knew what was happening. I have been brainwashed all my life I tell everyone with a narcissist parent run away they get a lot worse with age.

[@Truologye]

That is traumatic I'm sorry.

[@TaphsAJ]

This happened with me kind of. Before her narcissism emerged she was suicidal and tried to commit. If I hadn’t gotten home when I did, she would not have made it. After that, the abuse and torture has evolved from nitpicking and monthly episodes to become daily screaming and no sleep. I often regret saving her. She credits me to it verbally, but it means nothing to her. I wonder how different and peaceful life would be if I came home later. I hope this doesn’t sound nasty and I hope you understand.

[@azinkspot]

@@TaphsAJ I totally understand. And no it doesn’t sound nasty.💔

[@azinkspot]

@@Truologye Thank you ! 🙏🏻 When a stranger says I’m sorry to me it always makes me cry. My mother never said she was sorry, ever !

[@SkySpiritPhotography]

I finally realized that I had to cut all ties to my mother in order to be healthy in mind and body. After me trying so hard once again to be the daughter she wanted me to be, she did the exact same thing she has always done - hurt me deeply and acted like it was no big deal and that I should not be upset. It is very difficult to be raised by a selfish, self-serving, narcissist. I have finally given myself permission to not care and not try anymore. It has been so freeing! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@caroleyre9144]

Yes my Mother hurts me even physically…and then acts as if she’s done nothing…never mind an😮thing wrong. 🤷‍♀️ I’m wondering if she has Dementia now though tbh.

[@ladyredd6857]

Well said you just spoke for me😢

[@ladyredd6857]

I been free almost 3mo and I don't want to go back

[@emilyanderson5733]

I'm proud of you!

[@user-hb5me2sf2t]

Went no contact with my mom - over 15 yesrs ago. Even after telling people what my parents put me through. Amazing how many family members said to forgive her - NO

[@AgelessBeauty777]

This one. Just because she’s mom they made me feel bad. I don’t feel bad at all.Had to let it go.

[@adelleross201]

I just decided to go no contact with my narcissistic mother. I am so glad I found this video. Thank you!

[@roadtrip808]

I went no contact with my narc mom over 24yrs ago best thing ive ever did!

[@joan7562]

thought I was the only female whose mother showed jealousy, I couldnt believe I was reading it correctly, just knowing its a possibility I was correct makes me feel so much less burdened

[@godzillamanstreb524]

💗💗💗💗💗💗stay away!!

[@johirsty7392]

My mum showed jealousy to me and my daughter's, I couldn't believe it for a long time and it's at least comforting to know it wasn't a unique experience, this happens all over, you just don't realise at the time.

[@kkeiter]

My mom is jealous of me too. It is awful 😢

[@artandculture5262]

I watched Mommie Dearest on yt today. It’s got commercials but is free. That’s the emotional regulation of a powerful person by shoving down a daughter psyche. It’s hard to imagine what it was like to grow up loved. I look forward to end of life. 😊

[@susantower]

Bc of how painful it was for my mother to be jealous of me, I’ve unconsciously spent most of my life in ‘unenviable’ positions to try to make sure no one was jealous of me. It’s ridiculous.

[@kkeiter]

I needed to hear this today SO bad. This has been a 12 year battle with my covert narcissistic mother. She has made me question my sanity for years. I give and give and give and try to make it work and she sabotages it all 😞 it is so hard. I want and need a mom so bad but she does not care. Thank you Lisa! You are beautiful. You get it. This channel will heal me

[@emp9413]

Same. But you don't need a mom. We're not kids anymore. You have all the strength, love and support within you. And were you do need external support, you can find it in good people. New, healthy connections. Better to be alone than poisoned from the inside out. Turn inwards and congratulate yourself on your progress so far :)

[@a.b.2850]

Give me your opinion please; could I and should I use my previous comment, work on it a bit, and send it to my dad? In an effort to explain myself? How do you think he’ll receive and understand from it, if he chose to protect her over me, he chose to believe her over me? I’m stuck with this. I have low contact with him, and I don’t know why. He told me once that “no one will make him not have his daughter and 2 grandkids in his life” but his actions don’t really follow through… because he’s facing repercussions from my mom, and doesn’t want to boil the pot even more. Isn’t that elder abuse?? Using fear of consequences to control your partner’s life and choices?!? What do I do guys?? Help please 😔

[@BAFFLing752]

I had to go no contact with my mother and she still finds ways to slither into my life after two years. Entering into my 50s, I was done, done, and done. My son and husband think she's some poor, old, woman. The family home was sold and she is keeping all the money after my father's death, and I realize this is a blessing. She'll be able to afford nursing care when she is near expiration. I can't bear to be around her, and she has her tittie baby, son, who's the golden child.

[@eruijtenbeek7090]

My daughter is in this situation and there’s nothing I can do about it

[@youtube_chaplain]

Hell is real!!!! Your soul is the "real you". When your body dies, your soul will continue to live forever, in Heaven or in Hell. We can not hide our sins from God. Jesus Christ loves you and He died for your sins. We must REPENT!! If you will REPENT of your sins and put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, believe in and follow the gospel, you will be saved and your name will be written into the Book of Life... Revelation 20:15 Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire. "Confession Prayer" (Repeat Aloud) Father God, I come to you, to confess that I am a sinner. I have done some things in my life that I am not proud of and I repent of my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and that He arose from the grave and that He is alive today. I ask that you forgive me of my sins. I confess with my mouth, that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. AMEN.

[@smlnsgd4u]

98% of my romantic relationships have been with narcissistic men that are just like my mother...I'm currently healing from back to back, VERY unhealthy, narcissistic relationships...the flying monkeys and smear campaigns from both have been horrible! I have cut off so many people, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I've discovered myself and how beautiful, caring, and strong I am! I'm so happy with who I am, and have NO PROBLEM walking away from toxicity and chaos now...

[@UnconditionalL0v3]

Hello you are not alone I’m dealing with the same thing. We got this sending positivity and love 💕

[@smlnsgd4u]

@@UnconditionalL0v3 ❤️❤️❤️

[@sjla2009]

Omg same! I thought this was rare but I guess not..

[@bre3108]

I can relate to your story, I only have a few friends I trust and have totally given up on intimate relationships

[@Fratiani]

I just want to say that I am very proud of all of us in this comment section. We are survivors, therefore we are warmer individuals with compassion. We are open to learning how to break these horrible hereditary chains of negativity. We ALL have something wonderful to share in this world, and we will ALL rise up and be PRESENT , and ENJOY ALL OUR GOOD! ……WITHOUT GUILT!!!!!!!!!🌹🌷🌻🌼🌸🌺💐

[@sunonymous1]

My family never celebrated me. Ever. I have the narcissistic mother. Luckily I grew up with my grandparents, but that just created another subset of problems because they did the best they could. But I remember, at high school graduation, I was in Honor Society and the top 10% of my class…and only one person from my entire family came to my graduation. My grandfather. That has haunted me to this day and I realize things like that have prevented me from even trying…not because I can’t accomplish something but the fear of not being celebrated by those who should celebrate me. It’s crazy how life works.

[@gomolemokau3562]

I see you synonymous 😍 I relate to your story

[@gomolemokau3562]

Sorry Sunonymous fixed spelling 😊

[@Vic-Meow]

Wow, your second-to-last sentence was a profound thought. Did it just occur to you? I'm sorry you had to go through that. With the teachings on this channel, perhaps you can learn to be there for yourself and give yourself the honor those selfish and/or ignorant people did not and likely will not. ❤

[@sunonymous1]

@@gomolemokau3562 ❤️

[@sunonymous1]

@@Vic-Meow I’m working on it. Thank you for the kind words. ❤️

[@gypsyeclipse9788]

We run away inside ourselves. I use to say " I might look as if I'm standing still but I'm running as fast as I can "

[@1stBorn538]

My narc mother used to always tell me "I had to go through tough life struggles, and you gotta go through it too" and for the longest time, I accepted it, but I know better now, and decided to accept the call to unplug from my mothers bad behavior in order to raise my kids very differently, in a more genuine, truthful and wholesome environment

[@DuchessDelusional]

I am 38 and just figuring out all this stuff. I think I may have borderline and my mom was a narcissist. My whole life has been an absolute mess and I feel like an idiot for not knowing anything about this stuff. Thank you for your work!!!

[@hotfudgecake]

Don't feel like an idiot. Psychology has come far in recent years in regard to this stuff. It didn't used to be so common knowledge or mentioned as much. Of course Freud was into the influence of the mother , but other psychologists, not so much. I took feel I have borderline and had a covert narcissistic mother. Psychology has made tons of progress but even still there are a ton of doctors who aren't familiar with or don't care about the dynamics of this

[@20maxilo]

I feel too..I normalized it for many years.. I pretended that It never happened...but at 35 I've realized it wasn't me

[@jester7792]

We are fortunate to have the internet these days. Years ago this stuff was just accepted.

[@gallusgallusdom]

Just to say I’m 39 & just figuring this out, have also been diagnosed with BPD. From my research it’s really common for narcissistic mothers to cause BPD symptoms in their daughters. Best wishes on your healing journey.

[@sjla2009]

Omg same! I'm just learning my mother is a covert narc and it's been so upsetting to me, as in crisis level chaos. It explains me having borderline personality disorder as well? Crikey it's so hard to take it all in. But everything now makes sense and I have answers and explanations so I guess I have to adjust to it being true.. That's difficult at age 47 😢

[@mkbrown3902]

I'm my mom's caregiver she's 94 narcissist borderline personality disorder and it's so difficult, exhausting and overwhelming. I protect myself as best I can. With a grateful heart, thank you.

[@christinepettitt579]

I too my mother is 88 but I could no longer care for her. She discarded me for others who don't want her. So be it. Be careful and know that you are not alone. Bless.

[@pammypampam6920]

I am an only child so the expectations are compounded. I just cut my mom off the Tuesday before Christmas when she physically attacked me twice when I was over to fill her pill dispensers for the week. She's borderline & narcissistic. In October she pulled out a handful of my hair in the hospital because she was SO MAD AT ME. She'd taken my purse and I simply bent over next to her chair to get it. She yelled that I had done nothing for her when quite the opposite was true! No acknowledgement, much less apology for ANY of her abusive behavior! So I am done until I get one. Fuguring her funeral will be the next time I see her. 😭😭😭 BUT I DON'T DESERVE THAT TREATMENT! NO ONE DOES!!! SO MANY TRUTHS HERE THAT I NEED TO HEAR SO I CAN UNDERSTAND & HEAL!!! 💔❤️‍🩹💝

[@awaywithfairies4689]

Sending you a protective shield of love 🌬💞

[@Rosalie-ct8mi]

@@pammypampam6920 No one deserves this abusive treatment from anyone, let alone your mother! My narcissistic mother is 83 and I have no contact with her and I think that the funeral will be the last time I see her, but I might chose not to attend her funeral as it will only hurt me to hear all the stories of other people who can only tell how good she was and helpful to others, but not to me her own child. So I am still doubting what I will do. But I choose me now and will do anything to heal from this narcissistic abuse! I learned so much from Lisa's video's and from all the people who comment and understand and experinced the same thing! Much love to you and much healing to you 🌷🌷

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

@@pammypampam6920 good luck. It’s horrid and I hope you can get some help for yourselves. They never change. Vicious- and when you’re an only child she will probably try pull the elder in dire need. Your priority has to be your physical, mental and financial health.

[@nirrti7]

What you said about separating from your family being like losing your skin, that hit hard. I feel so emotional and physically raw sometimes after becoming "woke" to my family's dysfunctional dynamics. I'm glad I was in my 40s when I began this process or else I couldn't have survived if it happened at an earlier stage of my life.

[@kkeiter]

I hear you, me too ☹️🥺

[@iselalopez2001]

Same

[@memeleelove]

omg SAME

[@onemorechance2037]

I'm devastated I didn't realize until my 40s. I wasted so much time and energy!

[@emp9413]

Same. Over time the shock wears off and you accept them and circumstances as they are. Small price to pay for freedom and independence. New, healthy connections form :)

[@emiliamariaturnescu9685]

I'm really scared of what my mother can do to me emotionally. Her way of wanting to know everything about me and about my life, manipulating me to stay as close as possible, calling me 10 times when I get outside with other people, and then acting like a victim, getting sick because I don't respond etc. Yes it is hard to break free from a narcissist like her, because has a way to make me agree with her and then feel sorry for her like I did something really awful. Thank you for your videos!

[@BunnyLang]

That experience of disowning self is so true; if I am not allowed to be angry, be sad, because I have to please her moods, then punish myself for not being perfect, yes, this has caused a great deal of self-doubt, self-punishment, co-dependent relationships, people pleasing and not even trusting my own innate expressions. I am grateful this information is available for our young people.

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

Ironically, I found your channel because my mom found it helpful in dealing with her past issues with her mom. Now, I'm listening so I can deal with her.

[@claudiadorner9804]

That's so sad 😔

[@lottanerve1777]

Generational trauma.... it's very real

[@emily7195]

At least she can see it now. If you ever get the chance read the celestine phrophecy together xxxx

[@f.t.9889]

Thank you Lisa for this video! You're describing my "family" of origin. I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD due to decades of inhumane levels of abuse. Both my parents were envious of me and my mother would punish, abuse and humiliate me publicly if something good ever happened in my life. Both my sisters are narcissists too and bully me. My brother is the only one I have hope for. But he is ill from all the abuse too. I have no contact with anyone in my family not even my brother because my mother uses him as a way to abuse me. I'm doing my best to heal myself. I read your book "Codependent - now what" and I want to do the exercises in it. Blessings and healing to all of you survivors of this type of abuse! 🙏

[@godzillamanstreb524]

You can do it…❤❤….there is another side to that hell….remain NC forever!!! 💯 % NC…..check out Bumped Bruised and Blessed channel too….she has similar story

[@f.t.9889]

@@godzillamanstreb524 Hi 👋 Thank you for the encouragement! I appreciate it 🙏 I believe I will heal too, I just don't know how long it will take or how the road looks like. I'm longing to be on the other side of this and reap the rewards from all of this hard healing work. By the way, what does "NC" mean or stand for? 😊

[@lisaaromano1]

No contact.

[@f.t.9889]

@@lisaaromano1 Thank you very much, Lisa! I appreciate it! 😊 ❤️

[@tc96z1]

This may or not make any difference but through the content here and some others on KZbin I became awakened to this understanding in my 70’s less than a year ago. Saying my family was dysfunctional is mild. Be grateful for the enlightenment and time to grow.

[@fadumowarsame8084]

I don't know if my mom is narcissistic but both my parents abandoned me when I was 5 months old. My grandmother( my father's mom)raised me. I had difficulty childhood life. I found my mom at age 15 and thought my life would be better but unfortunately she didn't want me at her home because the stepfather was not happy with my presence. The life became more difficult for me. There is no system of government assistance in my country of origin. No free school and proper jobs, but I managed to work for people just to get food. I worked 16 hours day and only got little bit of food to survive until the age 21.I got a chance to come to United States of America 🇺🇸 and my mom became very nice to me. In my culture we pleased the parents no matter what they do to you. I starting sending money to her every month for about 16 years. I helped her raised her young kids/my siblings. They went to school and graduated from universities. I got married and had child so could not send money. She got very angry and cut me off that is when I woke up.

[@mirjamenny]

Reading your story made me sad and happy, your story reminds me a bit of my own mother's life. I'm sad that your mom couldn't give you the love you deserve as her child, but glad you cared enough about yourself to want a better life. Because of her neglected upbringing, my mom wasn't a perfect parent, but she loved me and she did a great job compared to her own mother. The one thing she says to me more than anything is, "I love you and I always will," and the older I get, the more I realise those words are an act of healing and defiance for her, because these are the words she needed to hear growing up.

[@fadumowarsame8084]

@@mirjamenny thank you for the kind words. This is a summary of my struggle not the whole story. Right now I'm in happiest moments I have daughter and promise I will give her everything I can so she doesn't go through what I went through.

[@amyalexandria444]

Sending you love! 💜

[@mirjamenny]

@@fadumowarsame8084 I hope my words were not seen as a negative judgement of you; in my eyes, watching these videos means you are a great mom because you're self-aware and wanting to do better! Rather, I meant to say that my mother wasn't capable of giving me everything in life, but it's probably for the best (I may have become an entitled narcissist otherwise). However, she did provide unconditional love, something she didn't get, and that was without question the key to making me a good person. After communicating with you, I had to send her a message to let her know I love her and miss her! Group hug! 🥰

[@fadumowarsame8084]

@@mirjamenny Thank you dear, although my English is limited I do read self improvement books📚 and vedios.

[@salsasoul4112]

Recently walked away from my narcissistic Mother. I'm feeling msny things at once, but none of my feelings are guilt. Im tired and DONE! I love this channel. Thank you for your expertise and time, Lady Lisa ❤

[@ErikaRodriguez-db5kg]

I absolutely agree with everything you say. My parents are both NARCISSIST and are completely blind. They have abused me verbally and emotionally and so did my siblings. I just pray for the Lord God Almighty Jehovah Father to remove the blind fold from their eyes so that they can see that their abusive and NARCISSISTIC behaviors must change for good. I leave them in God's hands, and this is all I can do.

[@kimmobasic6194]

❤❤

[@MsGenXodus]

My Narc step father died about 2 weeks ago at age 87. He never changed. There isn't going to be a funeral because I can't find anyone interested in attending. There are 6 kids between his and my mom's broods and I was the only one left in the end. Luckily, he had a life insurance policy for $10k which will cover the final arrangements, anyway. Otherwise, I'd be paying the $5k to have him cremated and interred at the cemetery out of my own pocket. Move on with your life. Either your narcs will change or they won't. Don't expect to get anything besides more of the same from your Narcs. They hate change more than anything, so it isn't likely they are going to have a late-in-life epiphany.

[@mariposa1933]

I have the same exact story and you are so right in leaving them Gods mighty hands. Both parents are narcs and my only sibling. Only He can change them. 🙏

[@Sezfluffy]

@@MsGenXodus how sad is that that noone goes to a funeral , what a terrible life

[@robinh.524]

I married an emotionally unavailable man. My feelings and needs are never ackowledged, mostly invalidated, and mostly ignored. My children grew up mimicing their dad. Now I'm 65 and broken, hopeless and health gone.I have no more fight left in me.

[@gabriellelee7119]

Don't give up Robin. You must be strong. I have a narcissistic mother and father. I also married a narcissistic man. I have no support system from any of my family members. Keep yourself busy, enjoy life, exercise, and find a hobby you love and take a moment to smell the pretty, spring flowers. Remember, you are strong, and life is beautiful with you in it. Keep it positive! Good luck! 😊

[@amyproudfoot6611]

Im praying for you beautiful lady 🙏

[@Lockhimup24]

I cut my mom out over a year ago , I feel a peace I haven't before .

[@princessak21]

Same! When I found out at 35 that I’ve got a covert narc mother. I feel much better that she’s not in my life plus my narc enabling sister got no contact too!

[@sewintome6477]

How did you guys do it? I almost went no contact then my brother guilt tripped me 😢

[@princessak21]

@@sewintome6477 well I blocked them all! For my own sanity and for the few more years I have left even if I do, I just wanna be happy. I make friends family now

[@Lockhimup24]

Just stopped ,cut everybody but my kids

[@godzillamanstreb524]

It gets better and better💗💗💗

[@eppyvonpeppy5213]

Mom always said to freinds and family that she didn't keep me in her life because I didn't make her "feel anything" . Constant attention, flattery , tell me all about you , built in therapist when she was down. Couldn't keep up with it anymore, as I retracted my "services" so did she. I woke up to having many one sided friendships like this as well..Its a constant journey! Thank you for all your content Lisa 💖

[@ksedlock]

@Lisa-I am the adult daughter of a narsacist mother, 50 years of being her co-dependent whipping girl. A Cinderella. She chose for me to live in the basement under the stairs. Of my own home,!!!! I paid bills for my sisters and my mother. Three months ago i evicted all three of them from my house and my life.i quit my job with my narsacist boss. Healing and forgiving myself is what I am trying to do. Lots of love and light. 😀❤ Kate

[@rebecca9519]

Good for you! You must feel 'lighter' now and empowered.

[@lapislazuliphoenix]

Rock on; great job standing up for and protecting yourself in these bad situations!!!🎉❤ You got this!!!

[@damalimunajj4503]

My mother recently lost her mind again from lack of supply (myself and most of my siblings, etc went no contact) My mother ended up in the psyche ward, she harmed herself and this ended up being the perfect tactic to hoover everyone back in. She caused so much damage in our family it's unreal. 💔

[@godzillamanstreb524]

You don’t have to see her

[@damalimunajj4503]

@@godzillamanstreb524 I really really REALLY wish it was that easy........

[@nikkilove6035]

@@damalimunajj4503 I know exactly what you mean. Relatives start nagging you saying you abandoned her and she puts on the performance of the “poor me attitude”. It becomes extremely difficult to have any semblance of a normal life with her hovering over her children

[@damalimunajj4503]

@@nikkilove6035 You know the drill: "This YOUR mother!" YOU ONLY GET ONE!" IF She dies you won't be able to live with yourself!" Then there's my personal favorite: "Honor thy mother! ---even though this lady went out of her way to destroy me mentally, emotionally and spiritually: blocking my blessings, slandering me, deliberately setting me up for failure in order to trauma bond me to her. Jealous gossip and lying on me, putting my older siblings up to bully and attack me then gaslighting me when I react to the attacks..... Those who have a great relationship with their mother are the most blessed people in the world.....I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy

[@nikkilove6035]

@@damalimunajj4503 omg yes,the gaslighting and bible thumping the Bible on our heads to guilt trip you. Mine actually said “I am your mother hence your God” like wtf. Meanwhile allowing her husband to continually abuse us while she participates and then when we go no contact to protect ourselves we are told we are ungrateful and disrespectful. It’s so mentally exhausting. I crave a “normal” mother and envy people who have a normal relationship with theirs,I am so sorry you are going through it with yours. Self healing has been difficult and eye opening for me but it’s not easy as she hovers around constantly. I hope you find peace eventually namaste 🙏

[@queenmab1999]

I cut ties with my mother a few years back. Took my dying friend to tell me, you dont HAVE to speak to them. Even in my older adult time she did and said terrible things. I have to deal with the things she did. But I dont have to let the damage rule me! Its an every day thing, but as more time passes away from my mother, the better I feel. I will never understand why my mother did the things she did. I have learned so much about myself, There certainly is things beyond us. I have always had this odd ability to help others.. to say the things people NEED to hear, not what they want to hear.

[@marybrotnitsky1461]

You have described my Family. Raised by a single parent, my mother OMG! She exploited my vulnerabilities and played us against each other! 6 brothers and sisters and all my I wanted to please her. When she died, I mourned the mother I never had.

[@sirrantsalott]

I see this relationship dynamic between my niece and half-sister…She is so talented yet her mother keeps cutting her down to her own level. Our mother was like this to my sister too. Before I left and formally cut off the family of origin, my parting words for my niece were “live a life you want, find a job you can see yourself work in until old age, and keep all your money for yourself and never give it to anyone. You take care of yourself first and always you first, before anyone else.” I hope those words will click in when it’s time for her to hear it, which I hope is very soon.

[@DeeDee-mv2uw]

My mother has been gone for many years and it took me a very long time not to feel like I was dirt under other people's shoes. The physical, emotional and mental abuse I had to endure to pay for her insecurities. I'm ok now and with the help of a good friend, I was able to develope self confidence. I'll never let anybody make me feel that way ever again.

[@johnraneanier3852]

I started therapy after realizing that my mom was a covert narc and sociopath. I didn’t get far, but it went terribly. I knew the answer to healing was elsewhere. In something deeper. This gave me chills. It’s everything I articulated and couldn’t articulate.

[@indigencompanion8560]

the fact that you were able to realize that a particular therapist was not a good match for your specific issues and needs, is a huge sign of healing. You were able to differentiate and redirect yourself without giving up on therapy itself...and you put yourself and your needs in a place of priority.. Well done you!

[@johnraneanier3852]

thank you! @@indigencompanion8560

[@michelleduncan9965]

This is amazingly spot on. My mom did lots of love bombing, but would then change & become so angry, so depressed, or so controlling, or very critical. The times of love bombing tricked my psyche & limbic system into believing that she was loving & caring. But she was actually not able to be genuinely or healthily caring or loving. I've stepped way back & am working through the guilt & learning to feel peace & sanity. I realize why I just want to stay home to be safe.

[@MsElke11]

that's what killed me about my mom...the jekyl/hyde love hate personality. It's like walking on eggshells when I'm with her!

[@Bike4Life231]

I attempted to fix things with my mother and father (both narcissists, and my mother is also clinically depressed and alcoholic) for several years, but learned it was futile. I decided to cut them off two years ago and my life has so much more peace now (minus going through a tumultuous divorce with a narcissistic abusive husband). I don't regret cutting them off, or filing for divorce. I feel that I'm breaking the cycle of that awful, toxic narcissistic abusive behavior and showing my kids there is a better, healthier way. I did have a very codependent relationship with my mother for years, which was extremely unhealthy and disturbing. She used me as her therapist. I finally realized as an adult in my 30's that I was stuck in a toxic place. When I tried to leave the codependent relationship, she fought with everything to keep me in it. I had to stop speaking to her for months. I do not agree with all of this spiritual stuff, but she had a lot of really great perspective. Thank you for sharing this encouragement to get out of these toxic patterns.

[@renaewall4477]

Thank you for talking about this subject. Even though mine is deceased, I'm still trying to work through my pain...

[@yanethmartinez8719]

Omg yes every time when I feel like I’m acting like her. I’ll retract back and say no this is not me and I’ll change my attitude but I’m self aware of what needs to be changed in me. And I’m super grateful for that because I’m becoming a much better person, mom and wife.

[@mubashir4899]

I’m a man and this even hit the nail on the head for me

[@tahmaniquinn]

As a 36 yr old woman, I'm realizing that I've allowed her to create so much damage and trauma that sometimes creeps into my relationships. I hate it, it's a hard habit to break. My fiance told me today that I'm becoming just like her and its the most heartbreaking thing to hear and my #1 fear

[@SkyePhoenix]

I went no contact with my mother (again) earlier this year. I'm close to my father. He tries to invalidate my experience with my mother. He doesn't agree with my decision. I'm not backing down this time though. I'm choosing me. My sanity and my peace of mind is more important than having a relationship with my mother, who is toxic (to me)

[@marysicola730]

I have a memory amidst all the confusion as balancing attempts it's magic. I was a single mom...left an abusive marriage, & my mom came in one day & was bragging with pride for my brother. Everyone in the community ( fish bowl) we lived in sang his praises. He is college educated, banker. I foolishly asked her a question that inside I already knew the answer. I asked her if she was proud of me for anything. She said " like what?" ~ on went the story. Now 56...both parents dead.. suddenly the blinders are ripping off. It is a good thing but I sure as hell wish it could've been sooner

[@grose2272]

I can tell you this is true and you attract people who don't love you or bread crumb you- if you haven't healed this wound!

[@melindaanderson663]

So so true!

[@esbevco]

I am SO happy to have come across your video today! It actually DOES😮 come down to saving yourself at the expense of your family! I am in tears knowing that there is someone out there who understands the pain that I have gone through my whole life!

[@lisaaromano1]

You are enough🙏

[@layoigonifa1273]

Thank you for helping me understand myself, I have been searching for answers for years. Your videos have helped me. For the first time in my life someone understands me.

[@aquamarinedream8304]

This is spot on. I've already gone through multiple transformative experiences, but I haven't figured it all out yet. My mom is a narcissist/perpetual victim who damaged me very badly. My ex husband just left me 6 weeks ago & I come to find that he was a narcissist as well. My eyes are more open to his abuse since hearing a therapist's opinion of his behavior. Unfortunately, I was a homemaker taking care of our toddler. Now I am a single mom back living with my parents & siblings.There's a lot of...stickiness in the house. I get along well with everyone except my mom. As you said, she walks around constantly making little put downs of who I am as a person & my parenting. Even though I'm vastly more functional & have much greater self awareness than she does. She has always treated me as her little abuse toy. I stand up to her - she twists reality, acts like a hysterical victim & attacks me. It's embarrassing & a waste of time. My dad is no saint, but my mom is holding the entire family back by injecting her toxicity into any crevice she can find. I have hated her already for most of my life, we have never had a genuine relationship because how do you do that with an abusive narc? Anyway, I'm sad to see that I repeated the pattern by selecting an abusive narcissist ex husband. I am only concerned for my 2 year old because now I have to attain educational/career skills quickly & get out before my mom can damage my child. It is so hard to be myself against her constant negative pressure, mainly because of the criticism & self consciousness. You would think she would be compassionate towards her child who's a single mom going through divorce, but no of course not. And it will take me a few years to get an education. I'm so afraid for my daughter's emotional well being until then. 🥺

[@KitchenWitch423]

Sorry you’re in this situation- but glad you recognize it and know what your goals are. Don’t lose sight of that. ❤

[@Ikr2025]

Yes I get that awful energy when I’m around my childhood family. Where you just cannot feel like yourself or carefree. They see you and want you to be a certain way and that negative energy feels like a heavy cloud in their presence. I feel like that around my mother & brother and to a lesser extent but still noticeable my extended family. I really dislike being around them all, it feels like mental, physical and spiritual torture and and have to force myself to be in their presence now. Unfortunately I married a man who is a lot like them, who lives below the veil and much of the time I feel the same way around him. He has a dense heavy energy. I don’t like being around him. I’m happiest when I’m completely alone, or just with my own children.

[@rubberbiscuit99]

The family patterns put us in the position of being forced to choose between our well-being and being accepted in our family. This should not be a position that any family member is forced into, but I am learning it is fairly common.

[@gailcrowe727]

My father didn’t care about me when I was child, he said nasty things to me. He led his own life and had girlfriends, he never seemed to be at home. I realised when I grew up that he did not love my mother, they had a toxic marriage and my mother was neurotic and although she cared for me was obsessed with my father’s behaviour. When I got married my mother turned into a narcissist and was horrible to me and my husband and I didn’t know why and it upset me. After 5 years my father left her for another woman and then she became absolutely horrible to me. I had an 18 month old daughter to care for as well. I had a little boy 3 years later and she hated the fact I’d had another baby and did not speak to me for 3 months. After that she wanted to control me and everything in my life, my children’s Christenings, their birthday parties, our holidays etc., she didn’t just want to be a part of it she wanted to organise and control it. She’s died now but it still hurts me to think about, I suffered this for 30 years.

[@yoncaulug7493]

To all lovely survivors of narcissistic parents, I am 53 and it was 5 years ago I woke up that I had a narcissistic mother. She was ill for 16 years and get worse last 3 years. I am looking after her. After I woke to the reality I had so much anger, grief, hate, resentment in my lap impossible to handle with. So firstly I let myself feel all the negative emotions.There had been so much family carma and it ruined all my life even alienation of my 6 years daughter by his narcissistic father after divorce. Domestic violence, codependency, insecurity, shame, guilt,major depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, cptsd, adhd and many many were my best friends all through my life cause they were very familiar. Aftet that aha moment I began confronting with all the family members yelling out I was not the black sheep, it was your blindness and darkness you reflect on me. Then started rising up again celebrating my power and strength to survive all the bs since I was born. Reparenting inner child with compassion at the worst moments, closing my eyes, taking a few deep breaths, putting my hand on my chest and feeling the warmth of divine love and telling her it was then and all passed, now she is not lonely, I am there for her, I will never abondon her, I love her so much, she is so worthy and loveable helped me so much. After 16 years break up, our relationship with my daughter is getting perfect each moment and we're healing from all the stuff together. Now she is 22 and I am so proud with her and myself trancending all the trauma into a whole healing path of my past and future generations. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CONGRATULATE YOURSELVES FOR YOUR STRENGTH AND FEEL THE BLISS OF DIVINE POWER & LOVE IN YOU. THAT'S REAL YOU! WITH LOVE AND GREAT HUGS TO ALL...❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@ariesangst4356]

Just found your channel. Great video, thank you! One of the most heartbreaking things that happened to me with my narcissistic mother was when I was child. I was a quiet, sensitive kid who was bullied relentlessly (mostly in middle school), and I became very depressed and suicidal. When I tried to talk to my mother, she blamed me for the assaults saying, "You must have done something to make them hate you." And then she proceeded to tell me how no one picked on her in school. She still talks like that, especially if someone is sharing their vulnerability or regrets for something. She'll turn the conversation on her and say, "I would never let that happen. I'm a strong person. Why would you do such a stupid thing?" At 52, I am just numb in my emotions and find it very hard to form close relationships.

[@lisaaromano1]

I hear you! I was also never heard and always blamed.

[@Fratiani]

Dear Aries, I feel the same way about new friendships. It’s really hard to trust people.

[@tara4806]

I also have few friends I isolate. My mom was an alcoholic I’m finding I have severe abandonment issues as she just passed away 😢

[@NegativeMass85]

Oh wow, this sounds so much like my mom!

[@stingylizard]

Yep. At age 9 a bully 2 grades older started beating me up after school,as I was walking to Mom's car. I'm suddenly fighting this big 'ol kid and I luckily wound up on top of him and started wailing on him to teach him a lesson. Next instant... Ouch...Mom had got out of the car,grabbed me by the hair,and yelled "Stop Embarrassing ME!". No effort to protect me. I never needed a mom after that.

[@teresa6564]

I am a daughter of a narcissistic mother. The crazy thing is I didn’t realize she was a narcissist until I was in therapy in my 50’s and trying to resolve major issues with my narcissist husband of 27 yrs. You described my mother to a T. She was extremely jealous of any attention or affection I received from my father. I was continually ashamed for something I didn’t understand. I was purposely excluded time & again. I became invisible. I remember a time when someone acknowledged me, I was so shocked, I literally thought I was invisible. Years of therapy with the right person helped me tremendously but I wonder if I still am harboring old feelings after 10 yrs of divorce finding it difficult to find my place, where I belong.

[@ashmac87]

There are a lot of out here healing from narcissistic abuse. Blessed be, everyone. ❤

[@Obsessedwithpurple]

She was my first bully. I would get so upset about the way she treated me. And tell my ex what she did. And he would go ask her about it and she would deny it all. So he never believed me. Then one day she was accusing my daughters of stealing a large amount of money from her. And he was there this time. And I was defending my daughters. And she looked at me and told me to shut up. Her eyes turned completely black. And I looked at her and said NO YOU SHUT UP! And she left in a rage. My ex was just like her and his birthday was the day before hers. They used religion against me. She only did and said stuff when he wasn’t around and I had no witnesses. I decided years ago I was not going to be like her. And did my best to be a better person. I haven’t spoken to her since that day. I cut her out of my life. I left my ex in January. I’ve never had so much pace since I left. My whole family is very religious. I left religion a few years ago. The abuse was too much. And I almost killed myself. My daughters have so much trauma to heal from after our marriage. I wish so much things could have been better for them.

[@vanessas2363]

That's so bad. I'm so sorry. I'm also questioning my faith. I feel suicidal. It's broken my mind and my spirit.

[@Obsessedwithpurple]

@@vanessas2363 I still believe in God. Just not like church teaches. I have a different understanding of things now. Look up Mithraism and research that. I threw all my bibles away. The real god of the cosmos is pure love. And does not inflict great guilt shame or condemnation on anyone. I wish you luck. Also you seem to be going through the dark night of the soul. And it is really hard. Been there done that. But one day it just ends. Hang in there. 💜

[@vanessas2363]

@@Obsessedwithpurple thank you 🙏

[@monicamiles4544]

Yes. My mother emotionally abused me and sometimes physically abused me. As a young girl, I didn't feel her bond to me. She never met my needs. I was an inconvenience. I grew up insecure, codependent and abused by narcissist. I now am my authentic self through my self healing. I'm going to counseling to help me balance out my intense emotions from being bipolar and complex ptsd.

[@kkeiter]

This is so true. I have been dying inside and questioning myself and my sanity for the past 13 years

[@ephamurfi]

Thank you for talking about alcoholism and narcissism alongside each other. Thank you for the words you choose. I was 11 when she gave me my first drink. She was so proud of me when she found I started drinking in secret, alone. Thank you for your self awareness. It's good that there are little daughters being raised differently to the painful, boozy familiar of many childhoods.

[@ShintogaDeathAngel]

I'm teetotal (only drink once in a blue moon, always been that way) but feel like my life up until a few years ago revolved around alcohol - my adoptive dad, his brother and an aunt a-dad idolised were all alcoholics, plus some family friends were alcoholics. I didn't know my aunt that well, but I suspect she was narc because she treated her husband kinda poorly, and I know my a-dad was a narc. I know where his trauma originated, but I'm still pissed that I had to deal with it as a kid.

[@lorifeil895]

Stopped speaking to my parents 25 years ago. Best decision I ever made. Can't stand the "but she's your mother" comments from friends and family. 😊 Happy at last!

[@changethematrix]

Thank you Lisa. You nailed it. It took me most of my life to really dig into the trauma and pain my mom caused me and to really see just how abusive she was to me and how that was what caused all the rest of the suffering and trauma in my life I experienced. Being able to really feel that pain and really feel and know that there was never anything wrong with me, it was my mom's own crap she dumped on me. letting all that go, I can now be my true self and never be afraid or feel unworthy of being honest with my feelings and needs and telling the people in my life what I need to be happy. If they can't give me what I need, it doesn't make them a bad person, it does however mean that I can't have a relationship with people that can not or don't want to show me the love, respect, and consideration I need. There are billions of people in this planet. I now only have time for people that are good to me and in turn I am good to them.

[@Puro_Sol_]

🙏

[@ladyafricka5836]

Thanks Lisa. I needed this. I cried out to God to take me home earlier. Did a biopsy and my mother who is antagonistic and hates me called me and triggered me. At 46 I’ve never done nothing right. I hate this feeling

[@ladyafricka5836]

@@vanessas2363 I’m so sorry we are going through this. These battles seem never ending. I hope it gets better

[@vanessas2363]

@@ladyafricka5836 thank you. You too ❤

[@camisnyder3460]

I’m praying for you ladies!! Stay strong 💪

[@eclosion6940]

OMG you just described exactly my relagionship betweem my mother and me. She is 95 and still rejects me, not my brothers. I have been studying narcisism for over two years and I just decided to let this go and separated my self from her. I could never satisfied her with anything I do for her so I just stop. I am 62 and deserves better.

[@HTHTNT77]

My father is a diagnosed psychopath and now looking back (my mother passed away 15 years ago) my mum was highly narcissistic. I was an emotional punching back for both my parents and my father was domestically violent. I could be in a room of healthy people and will pick the most toxic person to be in a relationship with. I’m doing my best to heal so I don’t end up with this type of person again. This work is hard but I know it will be worth it!

[@ProfessorBae08]

It took me 38 years to realize my mom is an undiagnosed narcissist. I always thought my life with her was normal until I came to Christ! He started revealing things to me to understand that my mom is and was under a narcissistic spirit.

[@BeBeautifullyYou]

Always feel like I’m in a competition. ALWAYS; and when there’s clearly no competition, the sly remarks, insults and passive aggressive behaviors come into play:-/

[@TheMindfreak75]

I’ve had to start re parenting myself, I use great women as an image and influence. I’ve tired, and it will drain you. It gets tiring especially when you see your mother give others the love easily but somehow can not give it to you, I learned my family history and all the women have all become the same, I move with love and try to continue to parent my inner child in order to be free. My mom acts like a child and I realized I’ve always “saved” her.. as a kid I felt helpful and useful but as I got older I felt used and saw the manipulation. The physical and verbal abuse I suffered due to her addictions and jealousy made me feel insane, she was so perfect to the outside world and so different to me, almost sabotaging my life entirely down to ruining my credit but building hers, making me take care of myself at 15 because I spoke up about the abuse to her and it was “disrespectful” and I was to grown.. this road is not easy but it’s going to be so worth it for the woman I’m becoming. Sending you all love and light, I see you, you’re loved and you did nothing wrong!!!! Nothing was your fault, you got this ❤

[@vsainz007]

WOW!! 100% I'm an empath and lightworker but didn't understand any of it until about 4 years ago but always knew I was different. And now, I'm learning how my childhood trauma may have contributed.

[@nicolelitwicki6600]

I’ve awakened yet it’s still so painful. I have too watch your videos too force myself too cry. Because it feels so amazing to be free. Fortunately I broke the pattern as it was happening because I had love and positivity from my grandma. She is what I needed too survive. Thank you for helping me in this journey. You are an amazing person!

[@emp9413]

I woke 3 years ago and only the last year was pain-free. These days ecstatic :) Hang in there, keep working on it, you're on the way!

[@Jess-yp9fo]

I screamed at how accurate this all is and how SEEN and VALIDATED I feel! Sure, I knew all of this already but everyone needs reminders from time to time. Thank you Lisa for all you do

[@Xyzxyz-pl1jv]

All the comments proves that the world is finally awaking and learning.It's comforting to know it.

[@cyndimoring9389]

You are the first podcaster I have heard who incorporates spiritual pathways with mental health issues . So powerful thank you. My mother was a narc and finally at age 68 I think I can forgive myself for not being good enough

[@JennyGaston]

Thanks for sharing this❤️. Maladaptive patterns are passed from one generation to the next. That's why creating a genogram is so powerful. We often can't get a bird's eye view of everything while we're hurting in our trauma.

[@tlc8023]

Genogram? Care to explain pls?

[@incognito3599]

@Your Black Therapist Hey, can I get your email and rates, I am 22 years old black female, on a downward spiral trying to heal from narc parents. May you please be my therapist, if not , that is okay too...

[@writer1986]

This is so true. I married a man who did minimal to meet my needs and wants, and who would rage at me if/when he was stressed and things didn't go his way. I was put on the back burner for 3 years, before deciding to focus on just my kids and myself. I know I'm a people-pleaser and a peace keeper, and I hate myself for putting others first (in order to remain regulated). And all this is due to being raised by a covertly narcissistic mother who only views me as competition.

[@ellesutopia]

Your video titles and covers are spot on. I literally said to myself “I’m not gonna carry their karma anymore” after finally having had enough of my narc parents.

[@victoriaaguilar266]

I was born to used,that’s the way I was made to feel.I had no value unless someone used me. This had dire consequences in my adult life. For the past 20 years I have had to rebuild myself, being honest with my self and change most of my direction. I have shut out some family members, I never missed them. It’s never to late for change and really I have made some major changes for the good in me. Now living in the winter of my life, but at least I am living it,allowing no one to use me. Shutting out those who cross my barriers. I can be me now, wished I had found me fifty years ago, but like I said it’s never to late to change your direction.

[@emp9413]

Beautifully said! I woke up 2-3 years ago. It is a decision! A series of many, many decisions. The more you do, the better you become at it, since we're learning an entirely new skill. What a roller coaster indeed. The person and life before seems like a stranger. All the ways I kept myself down. Had to take a leap of faith and say my goodbyes to relationships as they were too. Over time, new, healthy connections form. I love the last bit about clearing the plane. FREEDOM.

[@Flinshot1]

Both my parents and my sister kicked me out of the loop all of my life. They get energy from hurting others.

[@bosslady7611]

This just described my entire life in a nutshell. I was glad to hear spiritual terminology and perspective that I'm familiar with. Thank you Ms. Romano. This video should have gone viral❤

[@laurenj7146]

This is the information that I didn’t know I needed. Living a separate path from a narcissistic mother is really trying but liberating. Great informational video!

[@user-yd2fm3lr5t]

My mother steals my identity. Whatever I do she does-and then brags about it. Another favorite is her calling me to get information and then claiming what I tell her as her own in conversations with others. She has no Self.

[@dutch__mermaid602]

Exact same here, in my case she also tells my sister to do the same and copy me😱

[@cjay2658]

This is right on point. Having a narcissistic mother has been very troubling for me having one failed romantic relationship after another and an emptiness with deep feelings of inadequacy I can't explain. 😢 . This was very helpful. Thank you very much.

[@christinepettitt579]

I did my utmost but she made me loose everything and everyone including myself. I awoke yesterday. Pure covert narcissistic from the very day I was born and unwanted. She was very damaged not me. My family was not a family we were never encouraged as children to know each other. I was the useless female maid. I can't cry anymore. Especially over something I never had. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Bless.

[@taliajournee212]

Wow, the relationship between your mother and father is exactly the same as my own parents. I'm now an adult (37) and have been in an awakening for the last five years. I've had to face so many deep emotions and messed up relationships with family. Growing up I always thought something was wrong with me, like I was different from everyone which is why I didn't have a boyfriend, didn't have certain life experiences etc. It took my 30s to realize I was in bondage, anytime I made a mistake my family - including siblings would dump on me and talk down to me. Distance, therapy and spirituality have gotten me to this point. Thank you for this video, it further brings the pieces together of my life.

[@planetgannet]

I can't imagine what it must be like to have a good mother. Mine ruined my life.

[@LolaMoonflower]

Our relationships can tell us if we're healthy.. We'll vibrate the same.. Thank you for bringing this powerful work to my grandchildren.. they have a chance to change the generational curse!

[@joanseddon3589]

Yes, both my parents were narcissistically ill. My mother added alcoholism to the mix. Thus creating constant family trauma, emotional injury and blaming me for their problems. I was the "family scapegoat". After years of continuous "gaslighting", I was finally able to physically distance myself from them, continuing my healing from "codependency". Stopping all contact with my narcissistic sister, brought great relief. I began to look back over my life and realized the strength it took to survive, while protecting my "baby" brother since I was eight-years-old. We struggled through the years under our family's narcisissitic regime. Through counseling, reading for information, working and attending Twelve Step programs, I discovered I am empathic, kind, incitefu 23:31 l a d persistent. Finally coming out on the other side of narcisstic CPTSD. Everything is not perfect, because life is not perfect. Life can be challenging, but we can learn from our mistakes, Thrrefore, hopefully growing in wisdom, grace and courage. I can be triggered, at any moment, becoming anxious, angry, or sad; especially if I am under too much pressure or overtired . I find focusing back on healthy habits as in eating right, getting enough sleep, exercise, meditation, mindfulness, staying in the moment, journaling, reading spiritual literature, and connecting with my Higher Power, helps bring me back. Lately, I am getting better at recognizing when I am slipping into a "CPTSD moment",and grateful, I can bring myself out of the moment more quickly than in the past. I am able to recognize when I am being "gaslighted" and have learned to protect myself, by limiting the engagement or entirely removing myself from the situation. Grateful for being aware, I practice Twelve Step Principles, employing self-protection which are the keys to my contined healing. Recognizing I need to keep humility in mind because, "There but for the grace of God go I". Peace.