Narcissistic relationships & PTSD

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[@DoctorRamani]

Thank you so much for your loving and kind messages!

[@jalenholloway5937]

Thank you so much Dr.Ramani for being so personable and genuine with us! You inspire me everyday. Stay strong! ❤️

[@jeanetteo-o2815]

Dr. Ramani, your vulnerability and generosity of spirit is saving lives ❤️. You are saving my life with your videos. Please take care of yourself 🙏 (This is my first comment ever in KZbin. I felt I needed to reach out to you. You are loved ❤️)

[@user-zn2lk1sz2q]

Dr Ramani you 're a beautiful beautiful person!!!! I wish you can feel our thoughts and take power ..

[@lovehope8092]

💚🤗💚

[@mariaolmo460]

Doctor Ramani, you're an excelent psychologist and a great person. We need more people that like you work to help people live better lives and make things happen You have changed my life! I'm a happier and better person now! I'll be all thankful all my life!

[@FeliciaLansborg]

There is something so gut-wrenching about a person in the middle of their own pain choosing to use their precious energy to help someone else. I hope there is some solace in knowing that the people helped by these videoes and this community are all Team Ramani and got her back. Big hug!

[@malumachado4561]

Well said Gulldun

[@shelleykapp9637]

I'm in the middle of PTSD and my narc spouse bullshit, while being the primary caregiver to my 74 Y/O sister who is undergoing chemo and battling breast cancer.

[@KristiAuburn]

@@shelleykapp9637 In the same boat as you except caring for my 74 year old dad. Sending hugs and strength sister!

[@shelleykapp9637]

@@KristiAuburn thanks you. Sending prayers your way

[@Kita_in_Korea]

Team Ramani!!!!!

[@senzura1876]

"Trauma is never an excuse for abusing another person." - I needed to hear this right now. Thank you so much

[@deepseareppy]

YES. Hurt people, hurt people, but it doesn't make it okay.

[@lessismore8533]

@@deepseareppy exactly! 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Why don’t ppl GET this?

[@NO-ib1ip]

I needed to hear it too. ❤️

[@ChosenRellll1111]

Facts I’ve been abused by a ptsd survivor manipulated and projected on his mom was narcissist and he took the anger out on my passive aggressively! With silent treatment avoidance! I had to leave ❗️

[@WorldcupQatar579]

same. she was using her cptd as an excuse @@ChosenRellll1111

[@samanthashaw7188]

When you started crying, I started crying too. Your vulnerability made me feel so validated, because it's happening to me right now too. I'm in the middle of a Psychology Degree, and learning about PTSD sent me down into a bit of a tailspin too.

[@rpmmc]

Shit. I did too.

[@alishahull4359]

I think we all did

[@user-qf9ml7vd4i]

I cried too. It was very hard to see you upset but validating also. Thanks for posting and not editing, it was very helpful after suffering a number of narcissistic relationships..

[@user-hn6qx4og7c]

I did not realy feel/felt my own pain but seeing you, my empathy for you at this moment of honesty and vulnerability...it took me by surpise. Wanting to comfort you while I was not taking my own pain seriously. Like I needed permission to cry? Words are helpfull, but this video was special. Showing emotion was ridiculed by my father and my mother had a history of living her early years in a concentration camp. I had never seen an adult expressing true painful emotions (that also was an overwhelming thought). It opened my mind and hart. Validating...I did not expected it to be this physical. Empathy circeled back to myself? Mirror neurons? It was a teachingmoment like no other. Thank you for your courage. Hope you feel the love from all the people who saw your video from all over the world.

[@ShinbrigTV]

Oof; hope you're doing better.

[@theseeddream]

Your transparency is courageous and is the reason so many are drawn to you. Thank you for allowing yourself to feel. It gives the rest of us permission too. Praying for you Ramani. You are precious and make a difference in the world. ♥️♥️♥️

[@salettamyers8845]

Amen!

[@sharishakti9075]

Yes! I hadn't read your comment before posting mine ...very similar sentiments!🙏

[@Gracenglory5]

Amen!! 🙏🏻💞🙏🏻

[@venusrising6554]

We support you 100% Dr Ramani & totally understand.

[@Lilyflower-TigerLily]

I was thinking of what I wanted to say, I saw this and thought, I couldn’t say it any better. Thank you Dr.Ramani so much for validating what is happening to us and your insight and compassion.

[@katewardd6081]

“My apologies this was not as graceful as it could be” - you have no idea what grace and humility you’ve shown with your vulnerability in this video. As always, thank you for the content and thank you for being you.

[@orielwiggins2225]

A - freaking - men!

[@jamessutton9874]

@@orielwiggins2225 Jezebel can be woman or man, just want to put that out their, you all are not alone. We are in this together.

[@newborndragon8403]

Yes, this was pure Grace if ever I've seen it.

[@Indy__isnt_it]

I did not understand your comment first time I read it, upon rereading, I recognize I must watch first, it would make more sense. And like most narcs second guessed myself. Would I be able to see it when I watched. I was afraid, I was so wrapped up in my issues, and myself, was I numb to other's pain, so blind I wouldn't see? This man has ripped me to shreds, it hit me so hard and so fast. It was a comment he made, pulled WAY from the clouds above. I knew from this one comment, I would never be safe in this marriage. Shell shocked, still in the shell!

[@heavenleejustice]

Don't think your crying along. I send you heart felt 💘. Hopefully you emotions will show your audience that professional have & work through their trauma also.

[@milanmorrow8047]

Seeing you cry broke my heart. Sending love to you Dr. Ramani♥️

[@melisherwood5300]

Bless you Dr. Ramani not only for the great work you do but for sharing your vulnerability with us.

[@NarcSurvivor]

Narcissistic abuse can cause seizures, emotional flashbacks, adrenal fatigue and so many more health problems.

[@freerangeboogie7293]

It killed my sister 😔 Age 30 . I’m doing EMDR

[@pmskyV]

esp hard too as well if your autistic late DX in life ... Yet ..despite many even professional who hata on what my grandparents called heart of innocence's SO MUCH Love Respect toyou Dr Ramini for we never alone thank you making my doves cry in my coffee is just FINE

[@tequilajoe518]

+1 for the flashbacks... I was traumatised by them for months to the point I got diabetes.

[@goldilocks3593]

Early onset Alzheimer’s and death. I have seen it myself.

[@salonsavy6476]

Spot on 👍

[@LoriGeminiTarot]

For those who see this: may you find inner peace, heal from past traumas, and embrace change ❤️🙏

[@lovehope8092]

wishing the same for you too! 💚

[@karenmattice3820]

❤🙏

[@A.Storm.]

Thank you for your kindness, for sharing these lightful and heartfelt words. This really moved me. I wish the same for you and for everyone else who's struggling. Much love to you all ❤

[@drbrandykaye]

♥️♥️♥️

[@drbrandykaye]

Thank you for your authenticity. ♥️ Thank you for sharing and modeling. ♥️ The energetic world is strong for empaths right now and you are an example of an empowered empath with great depth and courage. ♥️ Many prayers for you 🙏

[@juliechen8710]

Dr. Ramani, you don’t know how much this video has saved my life. It’s so hard to fully register how ptsd affects our body and mind. Thank you for humanizing what ptsd can look like. I feel like I can finally stop questioning my sanity or blaming myself for not being able to overcome my traumas after all this time. This is why it’s truly important to seek trauma-focused therapy.

[@Christina-uy8mn]

Gosh, the strength of even being able to make this video and be there for all of us is so brave and selfless. I so wish I knew Dr. Ramani. What a beautiful person inside and out. Thank you for helping, thank you for validating us when you were going through such a hard time. Someone here said that you have done more for them than ten years of therapy and I agree. Not to dismiss my therapist, but you articulate our experiences in the most clear and warm ways. Thank you.

[@taylorschahn5596]

Dr. Ramani's honesty made me cry. I feel less alone. Thank you Dr. Ramani.

[@shelleysmith6667]

Ditto

[@leahc8347]

same

[@valeriewalkerwhite9525]

yes I did too...this can be so overwhelming

[@sandratraversy9048]

Yes, she really struck a chord with me tonight. I’m an ongoing survivor of this too. Loved her vulnerability- it really affected me. x

[@sandratraversy9048]

Me too.

[@ryanreynosa724]

There is no need to apologize. That was so powerful. I don’t think I could continue after being triggered. I probably would have climbed into my own head for quite some time before being able to continue. Thank you for showing us your strength and sharing this knowledge.

[@sharishakti9075]

Well said! I hadn't read other comments before posting and am pleased to read similar sentiments.🙏

[@shuaiyuan235]

This made me tear up. Thank you for your vulnerability Dr. Ramani. I've experienced those moments when the world just suddenly gone, become a vacuum, the pain from my past hits me like a truck. I've had those nights of desperation, deep fear, tears and screams. Hope we will all heal with time and get better.

[@alysiahite7086]

I go through the same thing daily. Gone outta the abuse.

[@SupafluRestorations]

What a wonderful message you set forth. I am a 56 year old man that has been going through a horrific abusive relationship with a narcissistic woman. The love bombing and devaluation and the invalidation is so real in my life. The physical abuse that I have received from this woman has scared me for life. Broken teeth ect. Her own mother, sister, brother and her own kids and her ex husband of course have walked away. Her own daughter has been reaching out to me with the abuse that she endured as a child and adolescent. She saw the signs. She is the one that taught me what a Narcissistic Person is like. I didn't listen to her because I was so TRAUMA BONDED. I knew deep down inside that something was wrong, but I ignored it to my core. By watching I have learned so much about this DISORDER and you validate me every day. I watch you and a few great other Drs surrounding NPD for a couple hours a day. When the tears come from your eyes I just knew why you are so driven to teach and validate us all. Thank you for being you. Jim

[@fallonfranklinmusic]

This is going to sound so weird. Even writing it seems strange. I have a friend that also watches your videos and I asked her the other day “can you tell that something is going on with Dr. Ramani? You can tell she’s is going through something. It’s in her eyes”. You apologized at the end of this video for your emotions. I’m telling you, seeing the vulnerability and humanity in someone that you look to for answers is so amazing to see. Thank you for being honest and showing that pain in this video. Is so easy, as a teacher or doctor, or anyone for that matter, to put the practician mask on and attempt to conceal their vulnerability. It takes a lot of strength and courage to show that humanity and own that you are experiencing these things. We are all in this together. Whatever this heaviness is weighing on you lately, we see you. We have gotten so much strength and knowledge from your videos and you showing this side of yourself will have so many more of those that feel alone in their PTSD. So, don’t apologize for it. Thank you for it. Sending love your way and hope the negative and pain is short lived and is rootless. 💚

[@sistergoldensunshine4069]

I absolutely agree with everything you said. I’ve noticed the change in your eyes, your lack of usual enthusiasm and gestures and inflection. I appreciate your honesty Dr. Ramani and have even more respect than I did previously. I came upon your videos over a year ago and for a long while they were the only thing that helped me to feel sane. The past three months I have been experiencing everything you listed in this video, two months ago to the point I had to take some time off work as I was not able to give my patients my best. After three weeks off, I was able to pull it together to at least do my job but I still come home most nights and I’m exhausted disconnected, and lack focus. Each day gets a little better and when I am lost I turned to one of your videos or a few other channels that have helped me see that I am not alone and that there is a way out. I am sorry for whatever trouble you are going through, but I do know that this too shall pass. Dig deep into that knowledge you have, lean on us and others, an d I’m sure you will find your answers and healing as well.

[@rachelel.4863]

She needs good vibes only! She is a master, a narcissism expert, she’s a queen!!! I’m not even saying this because we have the NJ background in common….I think I speak for far more than myself when I say this woman is so completely on point, relatable, reliable, great I heard delivery with Easy to understand verbiage… Not trying to be somebody she’s not. Also, she is teaching many other doctors through her channel, which really really warms my heart more than anything!! Keep at it girlfriend!

[@rachelel.4863]

@@Wandering841 same!!!

[@MichelleB2b]

I respect Dr.Ramani for her wisdom, compassion and her humanity. She is the real deal.

[@mirandamccoubrey1714]

I said the same thing to my husband! I could tell something was going on. She is so brave to share💕

[@franchescairby4834]

I recognized that something was wrong in the last few videos. I saw it in her eyes. I’m so sorry Dr. Ramani. We love you. You have done so much for us, and I’m sure that many people are praying for you as they see your pain.

[@allisondynamite]

I was feeling the exact same thing in the last few videos from Dr. Ramani! And it was her eyes. I could just sense a deep pain there, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. (Thank you again, Dr. Ramani, for sharing with us. We really do love you!)

[@sharishakti9075]

Yes, I was seeing the change in recent videos as well and feeling her stress/emotion.🙏

[@bruha321]

I noticed it years ago! she always looks like hell when making videos. And she's gained a lot of weight over the years.

[@bobohobo7652]

she is and has always been a very attractive woman. no matter the weight, no matter if shes wearing make up or not and looking tired as hell. she definetly is a natural beautiful woman from my perspective.

[@DiegoRamirez-zc7fs]

@@bruha321 that’s a really unnecessary comment and I respectfully ask that you delete it.

[@nicollem.anthony9289]

Dr. Ramani your expertise has DEEPLY impacted my life but I’m still in it so THANK YOU for being vulnerable and sharing. Your message is so powerful for me and I really needed to hear this. Thank you.

[@makaylahollywood3677]

I keep running into these toxic abusers. I go for 1/2 day stuck in my head, crying- out-of-the-ordinary dissociating, irritable, depressed. Then, I realize: crap, i've been slimed by another one of these A-holes. It's debilitating. You can get better- but, the residual long term affects just unexpected. Hang in there...Dr. Ramani- you are here for us and we are all with you here in these comments, here in spirit, thinking of you.

[@mommabear5059]

It’s so interesting that the narcissist is validation-seeking, yet one of their specialties is to dismiss and invalidate their victim.

[@alicewanjiru7299]

So profound....a lot of things they do are so perplexing I try not to think about it for too long

[@AndreaMartinez-qu1be]

BINGO!! You hit the nail on the head.

[@resilient8788]

They are very insecure, they don't have empathy and feel entitled to hurt others for any said offense ( narc injury) if you dare uphold a boundary. Therefore, they view life/ others through their grandiose entitlement and lack of accountability, Example: I'll hurt you before you get to close to knowing what I am which is a fasade for which I hide my own hurt/shame and project on to you in a harmful toxic, invalidating, minimizing, withholding kinda way. They are their own karma. Can you imagine living your life having to cover up lie after lie feeling like the world is out to get you, being angry all the time, never trusting anyone, nothing or anything is ever enough, job hopping, trouble with the law, addiction...endless b.s I'm not in any way making excuses for them as they are evil, but again it's their karma. I'm glad I'm finally out as it was emotional and physically exhausting. He used to tell/ rage at me, " you just don't listen." Well, now I'm better listening, to my intuition, red flags, when words don't follow actions and working on better loving myself and not seek validation through the eyes of others so much. Living our own lives well without them is revenge enough as they hate losing any supply of (servant services), but never us as they just repeat the cycle of abuse over and over with a quick back up supply or flying monkeys to triangulate.

[@TheGinagriffin]

That is a natural condition because they themselves do not feel validated, so why would they want anyone else to feel what they can't? That's the simple definition of their behavior.

[@Vickiluv]

As I sat listening to you I thought “how you are doing?”At that moment you shared what you are going through. When you broke down I just felt for you and the tears came. You do so much to help us all that I hoped that you too have the same support for what you’re personally going through. Hope you know we care and thank you for courageously being human!

[@janiecepoush1904]

🙏🏻Ditto!💛🕊🍃

[@cleanoutthefridge]

Please don't apologize. Thank you for having the courage to be vulnerable in your time of pain. I really appreciate it. You're demonstrating that a strong woman who wants to help people also needs to reach out and get help when needed. There is no shame in seeking help and being brave enough to heal yourself in order to continue your work of assisting others. 😍

[@suzannemurdock3973]

I turn 60 tomorrow and I have lived a life of repeated trauma from infancy. Including a 20 year marriage to a narcissist with borderline personality disorder. I've attempted suicide, I've been handcuffed to a hospital bed and then taken to a psych ward where I was involuntarily committed (it was a crime to try to kill yourself at the time). I've spent decades in therapy and am only now finally finding peace. Your videos have been INVALUABLE to me in my healing, especially because of your vulnerability. You really KNOW what we are going through. We can see, hear and feel it. That makes more difference than you will ever know. Watching you speak, I wanted to give you a hug. You are a very special and very valuable person to all of us watching. THANK YOU for giving so freely and selflessly to help us. 💚

[@reneewilliams1747]

You give me hope. I am 52 on my second cancer. I was sexually abused by several men growing up and a mom and stepdad that made sure I knew I was garbage by literally saying those words to me repeatedly. I hate myself. I so desperately want to be loved and forgiven for the wrongs I have done in my life. I have diagnosed PTSD and anxiety. I come out of a mentally and physically abusive marriage and now I am ocd thinking I am a narcissist because I am depressed, withdrawn and have no self esteem. I truly feel like garbage and sometimes I am irritable and hateful. I just want the thoughts to stop.

[@mcj9853]

Dr. Ramani, I cried seeing you crying. You helped me so much that it breaks my heart seeing you crying and knowing you are not okey. Please, take good care of yourself. Hope the love and respect of each member of this community reach you

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

Second that, much love and deep gratitude...

[@neeaforsgren7905]

This really shows that we never know what is happening in another persons life. We just push on and smile. Remember always to be kind to people ❤️

[@neeaforsgren7905]

Have to add that this was all in all a very good video for me especially as I have cptsd and have just divorced from a very demanding person (to put it mildly). Many things just clicked again. Your content on the topic of narcissism is the best in my opinion. Wishing you all the best ❤️

[@nachotoasty]

Yep, even someone that can't understand where their trauma/anxiety - whatever we want to call it came from - it can be ingrained in our DNA from many ancestors ago. It can be triggered at any time I suppose. The question is how can we prepare young ones for lessening the suffering and is it possible?

[@joywebster2678]

@@nachotoasty yes we can help insulate them with what's called "good enough" parenting from birth. Setting up good attachment systems, personality structures, confidence, self esteem, good boundaries and consequences. This helps create more resilent people.

[@joywebster2678]

Speaking from experience carries more weight than all the academic degrees. Thank you for the balance you bring.

[@LifesRevival]

Feeling compassion for your pain and tears helped me feel compassion for myself. Thank you for everything you do for us.

[@megha8033]

I'm a survivor of dysfunctional family abuse and going through Complex PTSD. I also agree with what Dr Ramani said at 16:14. My father had anger issues and used to take it out on all the family members. While I turned more empathic towards abuse due to this, my mother and elder sisters started being cruel to me (as I was the youngest) and always justified their cruelty citing past abuse.

[@dedeyeboah5353]

Thank you Dr Ramani. You have no idea the sanity watching your videos has brought to my life. All I can say I is thank you.

[@ychange1531]

Yep me too!

[@MK-ks4ws]

PTSD is the worst mental illness you can experience… it’s extremely hard… I’m so sorry if anyone who’s reading this had to experience it. I feel your pain. You’re not alone

[@malumachado4561]

🌻💖

[@glorialewis1245]

PTSD here. No one would ever suspect that I suffer from this or that I would have tolerated such a person. I'm always seen as a "rock", made of steel, so the little I tried to convey to people was simply dismissed as nothing. Most people aren't aware of Narc abuse and it's impact. They need to change the name of the disorder to "demonic psychopath abuse" and label it for what it is.

[@savetrump9120]

I have PTSD so bad since my son was killed in a fight with his friend 2 years ago. All of the memories from the past whan I was married to his dad. Going to court reminds me of the divorce from 30 years ago. I have difficulty separating the past from the present. I've also been diagnosed with complex grief.

[@Kita_in_Korea]

[@saxon9358]

Save TRUMP Sorry for your loss.

[@OYensen]

Emotional authenticity and the courage it takes to have it... there's nothing more graceful than that. ❤ Thank you!

[@dianeortiz1185]

I’m in the middle of this, and I appreciate your openness 😢thank you for sharing, praying for all of us🙏Blessings to all!

[@deborahgarratt702]

Oh Dr. . Ramini! You're making me cry. You have to know how loved you are and you are a healer to thousands of hurt souls.

[@loveorganicteanotwar5178]

To see your humanity and honesty is amazing. I have a narc Dad, and have an adult diagnosis of adhd, but I have actually realised it's probably ptsd. Your videos u give as a gift to us for free, help more than you know. Love and peace to you Dr Ramani from the UK.

[@loveorganicteanotwar5178]

You have made me face up to my avoidance, which is causing unnecessary suffering in my life. Thank you for that, you gotta deal with this stuff or they win right?

[@anaphylaxis2548]

It’s possible that you may have both.

[@loveorganicteanotwar5178]

@@anaphylaxis2548 it could be, but I didn't have any symptoms, until after 12, and I was manipulated in to going to live with my Dad at 10, after they divorced when I was 5. My mother says he had no interest in me until they split up,and I totally believe her. As an adult I can evaluate who is the one who tells the truth. I went off the rails as a teen, because I was been mentally abused, not because of adhd, that diagnosis has been a gift to them, letting them off the hook. But now I know, i haven't confronted him about anything, finding a way to move away. Comes down to finances, but I will walk away quietly. Best way i think.

[@error60091]

yes, I have seen in comments in other YT vids how people with apparent "attention deficit" were actually misdiagnosed, but after they went no contact, they survived and thrived and their attention was there... I know there is hope for you... you can learn a lot from Dr. Ramini, she is a Godsend!

[@alishawilson3908]

My husband literally told me the other day, “you have no idea how much money this lady has saved you”. He was talking about all the therapeutic help I have received by watching these videos. ❤️

[@blueSkyF.LY.]

Being vulnerable, authentic is so important to be a good therapist, Psiholog. Since I discovered your videos about Narcissism I completely changed my life. Now I know what is behind of fake relationships, toxic relationships, friends with benefits relationships. sending love, compassion &Light to you Dr Ramani, and everyone that go or went through a Narcisstic abusive relationships, colleagues, friends, family etc

[@louiselincoln]

Thank you for the bravery and honesty in your words and actions, Dr. Ramani. I really hope you are feeling calmer now. Your integrity and authenticity speaks volumes. Hits me like an arrow to the heart. I feel so much less alone now I follow this channel and have a safe space to explore my C-PTSD and past abuse. Thank you so, so much.

[@mamalex5]

My husband always says that you can see it on someone's face when they are going through a rough time that is connected with trauma and abuse. During the last week or two I have noticed the change in your face and have been concerned about what might be happening to you in your life, because it looked like something was bothering you. Your honesty and courage is amazing. It's definitely not easy to share these events and emotions in such a wide forum. I hope that whatever you are going through is temporary and that you are taking the time for self-care just as you always encourage all of us to do. Wishing you nothing but happiness.

[@shelleykapp9637]

Same here. She's looked so worn out and sad. I was worried about her, too.

[@user-oy4vu3ck3u]

Yeah, I think you are talking about microexpressions. A really interesting field of psychology tbh, Paul Ekman is kind of a big name in that area

[@mamalex5]

@@user-oy4vu3ck3u actually wasn't talking about microexpressions. But it is an interesting field.

[@kelligray1848]

I have Lupus and my doctors told me that my narc husband was the biggest trigger of my flares. Had PTSD symptoms, all kinds of trauma symptoms. My son decided to take me out of the stress for a while and flew me from Alaska to FLorida . My lupus got better-way better. Thanks to you now I’m making steps to get out of the marriage.

[@evagabrysova8871]

I'm really happy for you! Greetings from the Czech Republic

[@melanytodd2929]

OH, yes❣Thank you! A lightbulb moment for me ❣. I was diagnosed with Lupus at the end of last year.💡🙏

[@kelligray1848]

@@melanytodd2929 if you need any help or suggestions or just need to vent drop me a note. I have both systemic and discoid lupus, I’ve lived with it for many years and learned many little things that help.

[@salonsavy6476]

I left my narcissist last June after 8 years,, my adrenal fatigue went away,, my anxiety left ,, I lost 40 lbs,, I feel so free !!,,, 🕊🕊🕊

[@melanytodd2929]

@Kelli, YES PLEASE ❣. Any tips gratefully received.🙏

[@oliviadebruyn774]

This is so true and so real. The immense anger, PTSD and stupid dreams triggering me is immense. Self-isolation keeps me sane but it is unhealthy.

[@lisaburmood5540]

Trauma, PTSD, it's so real and such a challenge to navigate through. I admire your vulnerability and strength. Please love yourself as you go through your trauma and get to your healing.

[@medianightowl3885]

Dr. Ramani, I’m so sorry you’re going through it. I’ve spent countless hours watching your videos and you really helped lead me out of the darkness. I’ve been noticing you haven’t been yourself and you seemed depressed. It didn’t feel appropriate to comment on it and I trusted you and your inner circle were addressing it. I applaud your transparency. My friend is studying to be a therapist and was triggered this week. I’ll be sending him this video and I know it’ll help him more than we can know. Your bravery helps so many. Thank you for mustering the courage to continue doing your work while you’re in the thick of it right now. Sending supportive hugs.

[@likesredwoodtrees]

I also noticed that she looked like she was feeling depressed. We see you Dr Ramani.

[@emmamacgregor731]

I thought so as well and feel some relief that she has opened up to us. You expressed my feelings and concerns perfectly. Thank you! I hope you have found peace and healilng. I know I have, thanks to Dr. Ramani.

[@astrarai-thesobercoder]

@Media Night Owl. Kind and respectful post. Virtual hugs for Dr. Ramani.

[@butterfly32812]

Yes!

[@lauries2757]

Absolutely no need for apologies! Before you’re a psychologist you are a human being with feelings and you are allowed to feel sadness as well as cry. It not only brought tears to my eyes but a realness to you as a person and to your videos. Often times I watch them and wonder just how you keep it together with such grace. I’m sad for you and what you are currently experiencing but have total faith in your ability to overcome and be stronger for it. Prayers to you during this difficult time ♥️🙏🏼♥️

[@mysticpeace]

Perfectly stated, Laurie! I hope Dr .Ramani knows how many of us feel this way!

[@sylviaanne1198]

You are a wonderful person who has helped us so much,hang on in there ,!we are all sending you love.xxx

[@cedricbrown5159]

How incredibly vulnerable of you to share such personal information with us, all while trying to help us on our own healing journeys. Just know that you are loved, respected, and supported by all of us whom you're helping. It takes a remarkably strong person to still have the desire and strength to motivate and give others hope while dealing with one's own struggles. Dr. Ramani, thank you for your life-changing words, education, awareness, and advice. I'm forever grateful for having found you and have referred to you several people close to me. Thank you is not enough.

[@carissasmith4126]

Thank you! I appreciate you being real. I have CPTSD from childhood and I had a trauma as an adult and during the time my covert husband tried to push me to suicide. He used gaslighting and pushed all my triggers hard. He discarded me while staying married, he wouldn’t sleep in the bed or walk with me in public. I was able to leave him after getting help. You have helped me to label things and heal as I do. Your such a blessing!

[@louisahallman8304]

My husband told me to kill myself as long as I didn’t do it violently. He’s still gaslighting me n I’m not eating or drinking anything he prepares because I started getting very sick when he was preparing “our” food. Once I completely stopped eating n drinking everything I feel great. He is a very very sick malicious n punitive narc. I’ve got to find a new place to live. I do not feel safe here w him at all. He looks at me w contempt.

[@hannahl1387]

Dr Ramani, I hope someone is holding your hand, as you hold ours, while you pass through that storm. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I could not possibly convey fully my gratitude to you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. Thank you, be well.

[@dotwalker8507]

Dr Ramani you are a gift of God for all of us. We love you for teaching us how to survive in life with narcissistic people. My life has consisted with that. So to stay strong I taught fitness to nurses unwed mothers and seniors. By helping others it helps us rise up above all the pain and release it.

[@heathermoreland6015]

Thank you for humanizing this emotional landscape. It made me feel less isolated by the narcissistic abuse I received from my parents.

[@andrewlowe2962]

Me too ❤️

[@helenthurston8538]

Me also.. not by my parents, just the same, traumatic!

[@savespendwell5887]

The gratitude I have for the humility and vulnerability you’ve shown simply can’t be put into words. You often feel almost…embarrassed when talking to psychological experts about ptsd from this type of abuse. You were so relatable and it shows it can truly happen to anyone. I am so grateful for your willingness to share with us. ❤️ I’m working to heal from years of abuse and it’s so tough.

[@fabianamatano2512]

I'm a therapist too... facing PTSD... And some of the experts here in Brazil don't get the whole thing... As a client I feel terrible when I try to open up.

[@deborahgane4497]

It’s comforting to know that anyone can feel the effects of trauma. We are not alone xx

[@itsmilka3178]

This was a graceful talk. I repeat: "Trauma is never an excuse to abuse another human being."

[@MK-ks4ws]

This video is so powerful. A lot of us has dealt with or are dealing with PTSD. I’m so grateful for your work. Thanks to you, I felt less lonely dealing with this awful illness

[@banerjees4481]

I have cptsd and I have extreme fear,panick attack,instrusive violent images that are not true like someone is going to kill me etc. My brain and body experience the same instrusive awful thoughts again and again and I feel numb. I feel extreme fear like I am dead inside and I feel extreme vomiting and thinking the world is dangerous and everybody is trying to kill me etc. This type of paranoia is part of my ptsd and cptsd. Also main trauma is from my narcissistic abuse of my malignant narc mother and her abuses. Her gaslighting make me anxious and ptsd and also her rage,threats,intimidation etc in the past comes in flashbacks in my brain and then my ptsd is activated suddenly and I feel vomiting,fear,numb,dead etc. But this extremely dangerous disease is the worst kind of disease which is just paralyzing

[@raefredette7335]

❤️🙏 You have been a lifesaver for me. I found your channel and it help to set me free.

[@vichellemixon3003]

Thank you so very much for your vulnerability. Narcissistic abuse is a recovery journey with so many layers. I am so grateful for your videos.

[@nanmchale4242]

Thank you, I am so sorry for your pain, I am in this pain right now as well. Started shaking and crying when I couldn’t immediately find my insurance card in a doctor’s office 2 days ago. Shaking and crying. The staff was so kind. I have seen a lot of humanity in the world when I have had these episodes in public. Thank you for all you give. I was always told I was so incompetent.

[@TheLastAvenger1000]

I can't lie, I cried when you cried, I really hope your situation gets better.

[@sarafox5792]

me too

[@beautyscolary1743]

Me too

[@lizzieschnizzie3569]

Ohh, me too. Immediately. We feel it. It's beautiful b/c we've all felt isolated and misunderstood, but it's there where we ironically can connect. We're all in this together. ❤

[@laurathompson565]

I just saw this video even though it was posted almost a year ago, Dr. Ramani, thank you for being real and showing us your humanity, it helps to know that it’s ok to have my feelings and that if even you, an expert in the field- are going through this and continue to struggle with things, it gives me hope that this is a process that I don’t have to get over immediately. I think you are courageous and wonderfully human and real. Thank you for being vulnerable so that others may have hope and continue to heal!

[@dianemakwela1335]

Oh my goodness Dr Ramani, my heart goes out to you! I could feel your pain. I'm speechless except to say that even in your pain you still teach us how to be functional people living our best lives! THANK YOU!

[@dana9047]

No apologies needed. You are human. I’m sorry.

[@valeriekoelling885]

Sending hugs and love! I appreciate the courage it took to be that vulnerable in front of all the people you know watch your videos. It definitely gives validation to all those going through the same thing. Never forget your worth and all the wonderful work you do, you are an amazing woman and have helped so many. Take some time for yourself too, you deserve it! Will be praying for you! ❤

[@amyoung101]

Simply beautiful ❤️

[@daughterofelroi4369]

Thank you so much for your vulnerability. I too am a mental health provider and currently struggling with PTSD symptoms. The pandemic was brutal. I wish I could give you a hug. None of us are immune to narcissistic abuse. The work you do is incredible. You gave me the courage to leave an emotionally and physically unsafe situation & to seek help to heal. I pray you give yourself the same courage you have given all of us. 🕊

[@user-fm5cw5ck9n]

OMG you've described my life. I was raised by a narc and married a narc who then in turn took the life of my child. I've never seen a therapist (a decent one anyway) who has been able to help me. I'm older now and still walk around as if I were dead. I actually feel dead I just keep walking around. The pain these people caused in my life is overwhelming. I now suffer with severe depression, PTSD and anxiety. It's affected every aspect of my life. Thank you for your videos.

[@SunnyDallasRealtor]

In addition, when the society we live in is narcissistic it’self, we get re-traumatized over and over!

[@perfectimperfect8618]

I love that you kept going after crying. You're very strong. You're an inspiration. ❤️ Love from India.

[@keshiawilson530]

Thank you for just being vulnerable and honest it helps us not to feel so ashamed of this abuse

[@26pinkpixie]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for being vulnerable with us all. Much love and respect for you ♥️

[@ecarta007]

You are such an inspiration. Thank YOU for humanizing this and being a guiding light for so many. Appreciate you beyond words and I continue to return to this video. In support and solidarity of collective love and healing for all. With you.

[@candelarionurse]

Never commented on any KZbin videos, this will be my first but I just have to Thank you for your vulnerability, your education and this human connection I felt watching you.

[@blueglass1123]

Indeed, I do not comment either but get enormous value here….Thankyou Dr and wishing you a smooth healing ❤️

[@kathrynhudson1837]

I don't like to see anyone cry, but especially a familiar face who has shown you love, care, and support--even on the Internet, love is all around us. It's good to know that you know what happened to you didn't break you. And we all see the strong woman before us. You don't lose points for being a vulnerable, loving, woman of color; you get a gold star for your loving respect of trauma survivors. Thank you and I hope this helps you feel a little better. I'm a writer, so I write all the time. You have given me lots of ideas about my trauma and I am healing from it. People like you are my personal saviors. You believe us.

[@Makdkb]

❤

[@BrightLightHealing]

A wise woman once looked deep into my eyes and reminded me "Healer, heal thyself. Nuturer nuture thyself". What a blessing that you have the knowledge and understanding from your years of helping others. Now the empathy sensitivity is that much stronger for you. It's like a superpower. Thank you for helping me to see a pattern of behavior in my life. You helped me to break the cycle. ❤️

[@alabama.worley]

Wow, I am not a big crier, but this legitimately made me break down, and just ripped my heart open. My heart and prayers go out to you, and to every survivor who's piecing their lives back together. We are stronger today than yesterday, and tomorrow will be better.

[@smyler124]

SO MUCH LOVE TO YOU. You’re incredible and you’re changing the world.

[@Ash-hb9cj]

Dr. Ramani this is exactly why your videos resonate with so many of us. Getting to see your videos daily is a treat and you’ve given me info I wouldn’t have otherwise had access to. I look forward to it. It makes me feel special. No reason to apologize your human just like the rest of us and so many of us connect with that vulnerability.Thank you for devoting so much time and energy to helping so many people.

[@WDBDWK]

Your comment is very important. You are going to the heart of everything. The power of “WE”.

[@conweb67]

I realized this was shot some time ago. I sincerely hope you can experience joy and laughter again by now. I am so very sorry you have been hurt so deeply. Thank you for what you said in the end. I have just come out of a relationship where my partner had PTSD due to sexual childhood abuse. She showed all the symptoms and I did my very best to avoid any trigger and be as compassionate as I could be. Sadly, there also was the intense need for validation, an over the top need to control and devaluing me. Everything always was my fault. With this video you have helped me hugely to clarify that it wasn't PTSD only. I cannot thank you enough. Much love to you

[@livelovelaugh3105]

You sound exactly like my kids father. The sad thing was that he was also sexually abused and this messed up his sexuality so he was a closet gay. He spent his time using my abuse as a cover for his abuse. I put mine on the table but he hid his. Had he put his on the table, maybe just maybe there could have been healing for both. Peter. Jamaica

[@livelovelaugh3105]

Incidentally, he was born in 1967

[@livelovelaugh3105]

The fact that you were attracted to this person speaks volume. Trauma attracts trauma. He was attracted to 2 sexual abuse victims. It was no coincidence.

[@livelovelaugh3105]

I dont know you but I suggest that you sort out your issues too as your were attracted to this person for a reason. Look to see what caused that magnetic pull and address it. 😊

[@livelovelaugh3105]

I shared this channel with him. Hope he visits it.

[@sreejasnair]

Thank you so much for sharing this , I have been going through the PTSD symptoms after I left my narcissistic husband. I am dealing with it facing it rather than ignoring it and it's the same a pain you talked about and expressed in this video. Overlapping of narcissistic abuse with PTSD happened all through my married years with him but it's only watching your videos and educating myself about narcissism, I could know what was happening in my life. It's been sox months and still I am educating myself , just to move on and completely heal , so that I can start afresh in my new life and be positive as I always was before all this happened.

[@Quepedo]

From one psychologist to another, I see you, I feel you, we got this.

[@ezb6798]

Dear Dr. Ramani: This video is powerful and graceful just as it is. It is inspiring to see you continue your important work with your usual insight and compassion while experiencing what you describe. Love and Gratitude to you.

[@roseenglish1127]

Thank you ❤ thank you for being so human, humble and honest. Working through life’s challenges can be soul destroying and keeping going in a ‘normal’ way takes so much out of us. We will get beyond this, I am so grateful for your support, you are doing so much good for others. I thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

[@ThatGenXvirgo]

I wish I could afford one on one therapy with you because your videos alone are helping me significantly. I appreciate you and the work you’re doing. Thank you so much.

[@jc10907Sealy]

Dr. Ramani. I send you compassion for your struggles and gratitude that you show even a brilliant and aware individual such as yourself can suffer. Your information is so vital to help us all heal. The narcissists in our lives compound the issues we already face by denying and invalidating our real life experiences.

[@ARMAGEDDONsCOMING]

I hope you come through successfully what you are going through, Thank you for being so open and vulnerable about how it has impacted you personally.

[@stephsfavsdone8162]

Wounded healers are the real healers. You can study, study, study. But only when you experience do you really get it. Thank you for being the healer that you are Dr. Ramani. This video was your best yet! I got so much understanding and healing from this!

[@brittanyhorwath7134]

Im still trying & working on figuring out how to heal from being in a narcissistic relationship while also currently struggling with hoovering … thank you for making me not feel so alone & misunderstood.

[@sanchezhandymen3444]

The other day, I was at a drive-thru getting some food for the family, I started crying and could not stop feeling sorry for the person I used to be... it was a hard day of blaming myself for being dumb and getting myself into that abusive relationship. It's been YEARS and he died! WTF is what I'm thinking! When I got to the window I cleaned my tears hoping NOT to be noticed. I got my food, drove away and when I looked at the bag the young lady wrote: " Hope your day gets better". She HAD noticed me having a hard time and with those simple words, she made me look for help. I have found your videos so healing and insightful that I just wanted to share what that young lady shared with me and to tell you " hope your day gets better" thank you for sharing. In case you don't remember you make a REAL difference in the world. I am stronger because of your sharing Thank you!

[@debraaman6026]

This is beautiful! ♡

[@garyr1934]

I hope everything in your life gets better And that you desire who you ARE You are in there somewhere Take good care of of your yourself And you’ll rise up to who you once were You are there waiting to to be re discovered By yourself and others Do NOT let him take you with him to the grave !!!!

[@joannlove3414]

get some technique to block this stuff it is tough no doubt about it cannabis helps this condition for a lot of people

[@bereal6590]

I know what you mean I had a narc partner I've discovered ha my fam are narcissistic and both parents have these aspects. When I meet strangers who are warm or validating I tend to over share and cry. My body holds all the trauma. What gets to me is one time a while ago this happened with my mom there, I was crying over relief of something that had been going on for 2 years and was very stressful and she barely warmed up and looked at me with pity. It was a stranger who gave me the warm connected look I needed and the validation I sought and without me even asking. It was simultaneously so wonderful and awful all at the same time. It's woňrful to see other people struggle like this and that the channels are available to support us along with the comments section. It's a sea of hope. I'm 56 and only seen it as I've become very sick so I'm around it all the time. That's good that i can see it's not me but it's not good im reliant on them. I feel for the child I was and wonder how they survived it! The emotional abuse is far more damaging for me that any the physical damage. These Chanel are a gift 😊✋✌

[@christinahazzard8086]

Someday... you will understand the depth to which your emotions affected us. We love you MORE for it! C-PTSD, depression, narcissistic humans, etc. "More of us than I care to think about". Know you HELPED US!!!! So HUMAN of you.

[@maryrichardson6029]

When you cried I cried with you.

[@poeticnation6251]

Doctor Ramani Sorry that you experienced the trauma that you experienced, and sorry that you are still dealing with ptsd from those negative situations (You are one of my heroes, thank you for your bravery and wisdom).

[@Bipolishmomma]

Thank you so much for trusting us all to share something so personal. You’re so amazing and have helped me and so many people hurting and healing. The “jumping out of your skin” hit me so hard because this has been happening to me a lot enough I am afraid for those notifications to come through, I’ve finally had to silence my phone. This isn’t discussed much so thank you for validating that this is so real.

[@Mummysaurusrex]

It was hard to see you hurting, Dr. Ramani and not being able to reach out because your voice has become as familiar to me as family, and your advice has changed my life. If it was not for you I would never have understood what happened to me as a child and for that I am eternally grateful. Sending lots of love your way and wishing you all the best x keep going

[@rebecca-lynnenoer177]

@DoctorRamani Yes, I totally second this, Lucy Jones, said exactly what I can say! Dr. Ramani, you are balm to me in every way! Your knowledge, care, tenderness, love, and so much more, bring healing to the millions of shattered pieces not only in my heart and life, but so many other dear people out there too! I love you and pray for you, and so wish we could sit and talk, hug, cry, and laugh together! Thank-you for all you do, and for pouring yourself out for all of us out here!!!

[@MWG4650]

Awwww Dr Ramani I'm in tears and my heart goes to you. Sending love and prayers and hugs your way. Thank you for your bravery and sharing your story and knowledge every day! You are loved and appreciated!❤❤❤

[@Kesha_F]

I'm in tears with you as I realize that alot of this is me as well. I'm also realizing that alot of what I thought was an uptick in my ADHD symptoms might actually be PTSD. I left my marriage a little over a year ago and we're co-parenting so it's all still very fresh.

[@ciliciana5296]

You are such a precious lady!! You’ve been the biggest blessing in my life. I can’t thank you enough. I hope things have gotten better for you and I so appreciate you allowing all of us to see your vulnerability!! Love and big hugs!!

[@amandabalsitis6748]

Omg! Dr. Ramani this whole community loves you. You've got the strength to get through! Hugs!

[@Gracenglory5]

Dr Ramani, I’m right there with you. I’ve had to bolt out of grocery stores because of a spontaneous panic attack and being terrified others would see. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I cannot thank you enough for your transparency. The best experts are unfortunately the greatest experiencers of what they teach. Please know it blesses us all to know that you TRULY get it, even though it’s heartbreaking to know that you’re enduring it too. I am keeping you in my prayers. There are no words to express the breadth and depth of appreciation and gratitude I have for you and the sacrifices that you make for every one of these videos. The backlash is evil and the intensity is obvious from all the disclaimers that are now present. Standing with you against the evil!! Much love and many blessings dear one!! 🙏🏻💞🙏🏻💞

[@likesredwoodtrees]

I can relate as well. I ended up balling in my car in the driver's seat after I parked in a spot at the grocery store. Holding onto the steering wheel like it was a lifeline. People came over and asked if I was alright. It's difficult telling or admitting to others that you're in pain, rather than trying to take care of their feelings by dismissing it and trying to reduce potential awkwardness.

[@tracydanneo]

I wonder if it’s something about grocery stores that triggers the stress? The obligation of shopping for food, taking care of the needs of others and also having to spend time and money in a highly commercial environment? I find it stressful, triggered or not.

[@sabat8068]

@@ns2818 wow, I'd never think of that.. Thanks for sharing, that makes much sense. But how can they put people through stress just to have more money, it's awful! 😢

[@kelligray1848]

@@ns2818 I have major photosensitivity due to my discoid lupus. I literally blister up all over my body including the lining of my eyes! It’s one of the reasons I had to retire. I’m super sensitive to electrical things- I can even feel if a computer has been left on downstairs in the dining room across a 5,000 sq ft house. I cat live near cell phone tours . Grocery stores absolutely nail me and I “melt” 15 minutes in. I can do Target and some Fred Meyers, some Publix; but Walmart is by far the worst. I get sick right away and it’ll put me into bed rest for up to four days.Thank you for your input!

[@lulusmith8731]

I have had a difficult time in the grocery store. Because my ex always insisted on making every choice .. I just remember ALWAYS being humiliated. One time I phone a food item and said that it was not keto and not on my diet.. I WEIGHED 97 OR 98 LBS. SO I JUST ASKED IF HE WAS CALLING ME FAT AND HE RAGED AND SCREAMING TOLD ME TO GO F.... MYSELF.. . SO HORRIBLE

[@cherrybacon3319]

The feeling I had when my PTSD was at its worst was indescribable. It was an unholy place to say the least. It's better nowadays, especially after leaving my Narc Ex, and to some extent I don't think it'll ever go completely. With the right people around me it gets better, and with education and Dr Ramanis videos I am finally beginning to believe 'It wasn't me'. (I admire your courage Dr to show your own vulnerability in this video. You're not alone. To know that as a Dr you truly understand with your openess how we victims feel, is nothing short of a Godsend. Thank you.) 🍒

[@antoniovpi118]

I want to support you for being so brave and for having made those wonderful videos. I wouldn't have been able to make it until here without your help and for the rest of my life I'll be grateful to you, Dr. Ramani. After the horror that we have lived you made us believe again in humanity and gave hope to all of us.

[@jKDC1987]

That pain is unreal. The numbness, the self isolation and the feeling that you’ll never trust anyone with your heart again. You’re soul crushed. I’m thinking of you Dr 👩‍⚕️and I hope you find your light soon. Last year your videos saved my life. Remember your worth. Feel your pain and know it’s real, just don’t unpack there. Sending love 💕

[@giselaziemisourie]

Dear beautiful, loving and generous soul, Dr Ramani. Your vulnerability makes you, if it's possible, even more trustable. You have helped me more than 10 years in therapy did. We are so many out here that with your help can go on living!!! A big hug, lots of love and a thousand thank you for being here for us. You are so much loved❤

[@The_green_zebra]

Thank you for putting into words exactly what I felt watching this video. I honestly don't think I would be around today if it weren't for the beautiful love, understanding, and compassion Dr Ramani has shown to us here. You said it so much better than I could have 💞

[@nicolemartin2103]

Absolutely. Dr Ramani, you are a divine, humble, loving human being. You have helped me and my friends I have shared you with so much you have no idea. You have literally saved my life with your extensive knowledge, your validation and your care. Thank you ❤

[@barbaramcsloy8476]

Marie-louise, that was beautifully said. She is the teacher that has saved my life. Thank you.

[@Scoobysue1977]

Couldn't agree more with this comment! Beautifully conveyed ❤️

[@arlenecannon7565]

Ditto. Beautifully said

[@LiaAndrews]

Thank you so much for sharing your humanity. It is why your work is so powerful. What an incredible person you are 💗

[@michaelherold149]

This is my favorite video you've ever done. This is how I do therapy with my clients when it's appropriate. There's nothing more powerful than someone sharing their vulnerability to help another person feel that they're not alone. You're always so genuine when you speak, but I cried with you on this one. Thank you for being so human while you're fighting so hard to help all of us who are healing. You are a truly beautiful human being and your work has inspired me to the next level in my own practice.

[@steviecrow914]

It hits us all. When you think you’re strong, and these symptoms persist, it’s insanely disheartening. Sending love! 💕

[@pollywolf1145]

Trauma is never an excuse to abuse. Absolutely. Keep strong Dr. Ramani.

[@TherealAmySquirrel]

Thank you for the willingness to be vulnerable here. ❤❤ It was courageous and kind of you to put a human face on it for the good of those who watch your videos in search of answers. Thank you.

[@whosthere7268]

Omg. You’ve described every single thing that I’ve been experiencing. A simple knock on the door of a stranger or my husband’s relative give me those symptoms. I am still with him and can’t get out YET. It comes to a point where my left side of the body (top to toe) felt very weak.