Narcissists Are Afraid of Aging And Dying. They Pretend to Change

[@kimpage915]

They never change ! There main and only focus will always to get what they want !

[@grantaugustyniak6667]

Exactly !

[@lindalarson5468]

They don't change so much as they change their tactics.

[@rachelbartlett1970]

Exactly, and they cannot change because change is serious effort over a long time. Everyone who recovered from abuse knows how long it takes to til you no longer slide back into old habits. Except the abuser, who never make the effort to develop self-awareness in the first place, as they were so busy preventing everyone else to from trying.

[@jenniferdmartinez7500]

I really struggle, with this shared ‘truth’ many speak of; we (outsiders/strangers) know their TRUE inner thoughts, intentions, character, etc BETTER than them; it is logical, valid, & KEY that we DISTRUST their words & even actions they may hint at positive change- we can all confidently ASSUME they are failures frauds in efforts to change, and that their label (as TOXIC to others) can’t and won’t ever change. Even if they want it, their efforts are dead before they launch. So, if they say they’re trying to change they are either lying or trying new manipulation or just don’t see how hopeless they ALL DEF are? Is this your intentional meaning? If so, why? Does clinical evidence tell us, once a narcissist always an asshole? Regardless of their own stated perspective? The stakes are sooo high, of this ‘certainty’ (cutting ties, dismissing people u cared about as hopelessly harmful, necessarily ditched). Is your criteria for passing these judgments, rigorous enough, for the immense impact of those judgments?

[@mvbigmagic4048]

@@jenniferdmartinez7500 I gave my mother the benefit of the doubt, and she future-faked me out of a good job (in order to care for her) and basically let me pay for cleaning, repairing, maintaining her house, leaving my poor husband alone with our three kids. Then told me she no longer wanted to sell the house. She's 78. I'm 51. And she has future-faked her own grandkids out of their financial stability, all for the sake of control. Yeah. no. She and I are no-contact since my dad died. I was validated when I found my dad's will, in which he cut her out entirely. Still not worth it. I can always earn money. I don't have to spread my legs to get money the way my mother did. Malignant narcissists don't change. Doubt that at your own peril.

[@TheAileZX2]

@@jenniferdmartinez7500 People tend to fiddle faddle CPTSD with actual narcissism. To those with CPTSD, it's like a cat. Your brain is hurt. And if you get into a thing about whatever, and you get all "high note saxophone" it is more than likely a sore in your mind being poked. I am learning to try not to feel like a victim, like my father and various people instilled into me as I grew up. Good example is trying to remain stoic on an online game. Since everyone's actually intent on having fun rather than just hurting your progress out of spite. It's a little challenging, but it's good practice.

[@jenniferdmartinez7500]

@@TheAileZX2 that makes sense. I think it’s terrifying, how confident people feel, diagnosing others as narcs and- the pattern I see in these comments- them enthusiastically using that ‘diagnosis’ as self-satisfied justification, for totally disparaging and then abandoning their fam, during their most needy and vulnerable times (like on their death beds) I think most people could agree, that people suffering CPTSD probably have different motivations, and require different support, than elderly/dying OFFICIALLY dx narcissists, who have intentionally rejected a lifetime of opportunity to behave better; right?

[@mariep4018]

I’m 73 years old I live alone I like it better than living with my narcissist, husband and I never think about dying. I’m always doing something to keep myself occupied and try to always learn something new. Getting old has never bothered me it doesn’t bother me. I don’t worry about my appearance. I’m satisfied with the way. I look at my age I have gray hair Don’t dye it. I always excepted my age no matter what age I was. I didn’t worry about turning 30 40 50 60 or 70. I hate watching television and all these ads and all this advice. It’s like people get brainwashed so easily. And it seems no matter what type of life you live it’s never the right one. Most people a narcissist or flying monkeys and that’s what I have seen in my life. And there’s nowhere to run away from them and there’s no way to put up with them. You just Gotta stay away from them as much as you can. No matter what psychology no matter what therapy no matter what it’s never gonna change. So the best thing is to have boundaries and keep to yourself. Thanks.👍

[@SandraUkleja-op6fw]

Thank you for your statement. Would you say that today's fact that most people are either narcissists or flying monkeys was also true in the 1960s or 70s? I am 57 and have only very weak memories of these times, but i tend to believe that people were a bit better back then. But maybe it's an illusion?

[@oppressednolonger1497]

nah I think it has ramped up alot, its not in your head, there are exceedingly more of them. it was much better in those years. pple were more polite and trustworthy.. just be extremely discerning 🙏🏻@@SandraUkleja-op6fw

[@tfoster107]

Well said!

[@LiftingUrVeil-LUV]

I’m struggling so hard In my grieving. Last year I walked away from entire family due to both narcissistic parents. I moved away in hopes for a better life in a new city but found my way into another toxic environment. Im a 42 year old very intelligent black man who feels like a child starting in the world. I say I forgive them but I also harbor so much hate and anger towards them especially my mother. The biggest thing she stole from me is myself and it took me having a near death experience in 2020 of me to go to therapy which I can’t afford anymore to see the truth of my reality . I take full responsibility for my life and choices and now I’m left as being a 40 year old trying to survive heal grieve and grow without any support system or someone in my life. It I have hope

[@KimKlaar]

I hear you. I'm a 59 year old white lady, taking care of my Mom. If she doesn't get her way (she has the $), she threatens to kick me into the street, and I'm the one changing her & feeding her & wiping her butt! I never could really build a life. I think you have to have ONE TRUE ADULT, TO SEE YOU, GUIDE YOU, AND SHOW YOU'RE LOVABLE. Trying to get something that your subconscious doesn't know is damn near impossible! Your mind & behavior having good, balanced sense is making a difference in this world. Good luck to you. I hope you find love & respect.

[@dougcoleman8972]

I hear you brother. Sometimes I feel like a child stuck in a 39yr old body. I'm young at heart but that's not what I'm referring to. You are not alone.

[@Helen-oh1no]

I got married when I was over 40 years old. Maybe you will meet a wonderful partner!

[@tiffanyjohnson8679]

You are definitely not alone ❤ We're all out here too doing our best. Love 🎉

[@Navops1067]

Me too my brother. Big cyber hug out to ya.

[@cboyd5568]

You and Melody Beattie woke me up in 2012. At that time nobody had a clue what narcissism was. God bless you ❤

[@rebellaire55]

You're lucky that you woke up in 2012. I slowly woke up in 2020 at 35 years old. Wish I woke up the same time as you are.

[@cboyd5568]

@@rebellaire55 your still one of the lucky ones if you wake up at all. This disease is deadly. Two brothers and a nephew of my ex narcissist committed suicide. I was next. It was life or death for me. I hope that you are free and can now positively identify the disease to others. God bless you 🙏🙏🙏

[@peachesandpoets]

You're lucky. Only found out last year at 36. Happy to be freeing myself

[@RatedArggg]

I thought my narc mother had mellowed out in her old age. But when I told her I was recovering from a life-threatening illness, she said "Hmmm." She was disappointed. She was still evil.

[@AliceLytle]

This message was soooo timely, as my covert TS friend of four decades, is near the end of her road. So for the last six months, her narcissism can no longer be hidden. It is full blown. She can’t stand to be alone, or dying, and yet she prays to die. She doesn’t have a husband or children. Just a full blown overt narcissist, after being a covert narcissist her whole life. I have actually removed myself completely from this once “best friend”. She has become a vortex of “insatiable” need. I told my youngest daughter that if I become that self focused, at the end of my life, pull the plug! This narcissist friend is just as you described, angry, lonely, & depressed. She cries all the time. Yes she is a type of vampire who sucks the life, from her narcissistic supplies, and I was ONCE one of her key sources. This message Mr. Rosenberg could not have been more perfect and timely. Thank you!

[@i.ehrenfest349]

Are you taking into account that people with cancer, for instance, are often traumatised and living in a nightmare?

[@mvbigmagic4048]

This has happened to me. As my mother has aged, she has forgotten all her lies, and can't keep them straight. As a result, I've learned all the manipulation she's perpetrated on me, my dad, my dad's relatives, isolating the both of us from anyone else except her narcissistic gaslighting. It's disgusting. As she's aging, she doesn't even bother to hide that she wants EVERYONE'S money. She forced my dying dad to call me multiple times to get me to sign my bank account to her. I refused. And she restricted calls to my dying dad. It's insane the delusion that aging narcissists live in. We are no-contact since my father died. I understand now that she wants to feed off me, and suck the life out of me, now that my dad is dead. That ain't happening. I have three kids who need me. She brags she has $2 million in assets. So she can USE it for her memory care. My kids are innocent of her malicious scheming over the decades they weren't even alive. I will not let them suffer my absence, because of her selfishness. She has surrounded herself with flying monkeys who all think they're gonna get a piece of her when she dies. Um.... it's all gonna be used up in long-term care, because narcissists live FOREVER.

[@AliceLytle]

@@i.ehrenfest349 My Turners Syndrome friend does not have cancer, or else I would have compassion. She has been a covert narcissist the whole 45 years I’ve known her, and I couldn’t see it. Most recently, once I stopped calling her for two weeks, (and listening to her sob and cry about everything from her computer to her toenails), I find out she’s released from hospice & the nursing home and is home! My TS friend is suddenly not dying after all! I also found out from her nephew, that I’m the only one she sobs & cries to. 🤔

[@AliceLytle]

@@mvbigmagic4048Continue to stand strong! How awful! I’m so sorry! You mention the words “suck the life from me”. My niece called my TS friend “an emotional vampire”. They do suck the life from us. In their younger years, the covert narcissist is able to hide their narcissism a fair amount. But as they age, they don’t hide it anymore. You are wise how you’ve shielded your children from your Mom. Narcissists are extremely greedy about how their every dollar is spent,( except for “communal” narcissists who give money to be seen in the public’s eye).

[@jenniferdmartinez7500]

@@AliceLytle wow, all these mutually validating posts, where strangers acknowledge one another as heroes, martyrs, and (always, somehow) VICTIMS of a difficult situation (ie their friend actively DYING…oh how rough they did that TO you 🙄) You come here, whine about dying people who don’t have the chance to speak to your devastating accusations, to give us their side or refute the story. Still you come get all swollen with each others misinformed, arrogant ‘wisdom’, and USE IT AS YOUR EXCUSE for being a shitty friend. The kind of ‘friend’ who says they know their bff was a covert narcissist, and now that they are dealing with mortality, have become ‘full blown overt narcissist’ Are you a pro? You have ample receipts or qualifications to make such devastating diagnosis? Or, does rewriting your 20 years of ‘friendship’, with her as some dormant villain who deserves the worst- help you sleep better. Because guess what? From what you’ve shared itnseems you are THAT person: the kind who brutally flakes on lifelong friend, when it gets too confusing or ick or narcissistic for you. You are not the kind of heroic friend I’d wanna need in my final hours. You have no idea what she’s experiencing and apparently no curiosity/ just your cruel and ignorant judgement. Shame on you. If you need to bail because you can’t handle it- that’s ok. It is. Not everyone can handle it, because ‘it’ includes the ugly moments u speak of. If u need space, take it. But how dare you run around slandering a dying woman’s legacy, so u can lie to yourself (and all us) about why you need that space.

[@DevinKeptGoing]

This title and the information in this video gave me a feeling of justice for my abusers. Great work, as always

[@tidycoat]

Thank you for all this information sir!!! I appreciate all you have to share regarding narcissism and especially in old age!! My husband is 69 and he’s getting worse every day…I’m leaving him after 50 yrs of marriage! 😢

[@godzillamanstreb524]

You can do it….you deserve happiness 🌼🌼🌼🩷🩷💯

[@marciestoddard730]

You're brave and I applaud you. Wish my.mother had the courage, but she's weak and selfish:(

[@Theinsomniac826]

This is exactly what happened when my diagnosed narcissist mother was dying. She was on life support. She refused to die. Then she got off life support and became more evil, mean and controlling by demanding we bring her fast food that her doctor said she couldn't eat, demanding we bring her the TV from her house to the hospital which is absolutely asburd. She woke up from her coma and instantly knew what time it was which was eerie. I was supposed to be at work during that time so she demanded I leave the hospital and go to work, being controlling. She was disrespectful and ungrateful that I was by her bedside when she was in a coma. She was very angry, loud and belligerent because she couldn't control the hospital, her coma, the doctors or me.

[@zion367]

Its so sad ...

[@perkosherrigh7243]

Sounds dark spiritually someone too act this way and know the time like that

[@zion367]

@@LisaValentine1 interesting perspective. Thank you for sharing.

[@joey5816]

I feel you!

[@deebee4622]

My mom demanded that I bring the microwave oven from home so the hospital staff and I could keep her coffee/ food warm. Then raged because I wouldn’t do her bidding, even after hospital staff told her it was forbidden.

[@sheepdawg6946]

My mother created so much turmoil for our family. I just accepted it as normal. I thought it was because she was your typical Vietnamese woman. She divorced my dad 20 + years ago. He blamed himself and when he died, he left all his money to her. She became even a bigger monster. No one in her family talks to her anymore. Over the decades, each family member has abandoned her. I was the last hold out. I am her oldest son but now she has removed me from the will and has gone zero contact. She lies so much and denies everything. She laughed when I told her she was hurting my family. So many people tell me that my mother is so nice, but she’s a monster to her family. I had heard of narcissism but never made that connection. Now, I realized she is very definition of this disease. I did not figure this out until I was 56 years old. But it is so painful to see the light. I feel so used.

[@deemaysie6568]

If it is any consolation I also feel that I betrayed myself by always giving in to narcissistic parents, siblings, in-laws etc. I am forgiving myself and trying to do better in the future.

[@flyundertheradar-24seven]

They are actors / actresses, that act their entire life. They are the ones who are best suited for Oscar nominations as Hollywood actors / actresses…..,

[@Jiraiyashouse666]

They are not acting out their lives... They are actually living the most intense reality, it's just not congruent with what others around them perceive. To them, you are the actors.

[@jeankipper6954]

I'm sorry that they suffered the harvest of the meanness that they sowed. The CPTSD is so clearly multigenerational. I escaped as soon as possible, and refused to pass the damage along. They got meaner and more demanding, the whole time I knew them. I could not save them. I could only save myself. I recently learned that dad died in 2010, 14 years ago. And mom had died in 2007. I am so grateful that they are gone. My healing has been lifelong, and I guess will continue.

[@dlwilliamson5644]

I am 59 and am "learning to be... still" and still healing even 7 years after divorcing. I married my ex "trying to win the war of my childhood on a different battlefield". Upon divorcing, I realized that my ex husband was a polite blend of my mother and my father. Stay strong on your journey to realizing your strength once again.

[@thejavandenberg4509]

CPTSD ? That,s not the same as narccisism

[@Crazybaby2409]

My experience of narcs is that when they’re old and dying they have an entourage of people fussing around them and tending to their every need. My narc mum cut me out of her life for seven years then suddenly got in touch when she was old and frail. She’s being nice to me for the first time in my life. Your video helped me understand why.

[@deborahjabara2614]

My ex does this. He throws money at them but doesn't have much to do with them. His "generosity" was used for self aggrandizement.

[@sw.7519]

The lack of emotional intelligence ( no inner self, no empathy,, No reflection) IS not cureable. Only in small degrees. Same goes for analytical intelligence.

[@mariehayes8213]

This couldn’t have come at a better time. I needed this explanation. My heart aches for this poor man locked inside his broken self. It really is a terrible ‘disease’ and I struggle with trying to figure out how to feel about him. I can’t hate him nor can I hurt him but thankfully we live apart (he left four years ago) He is 70 now and I see him becoming more and more isolated . . 40 years together, children and grandchildren yet he is such a malcontent and becoming increasingly worse. I feel too sad but I have escaped! Thank you for this podcast. I still struggle to get my head around all of this and to make sense of it. These people are so lost!

[@miriam100ful]

NPD is not really a disease, but more of a choice.

[@peachesandpoets]

What do you feel sad about? Yes, it is a personality that he can not change, but anybody can manage symptoms, anybody can go and get help, etc. He made his own bed. Look up gabor mate. All that feeling sorry and overly identifying and empathizing can make you sick. I know I'm being harsh but I want more victims to save themselves. Wake up. He couldn't access empathy, but everything he did was a choice. This isn't autism or something else he can't control. He chose everything he did as an adult .

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@peachesandpoetsnonsense. No one would choose to be a narcissist. They live very sad lives, and so long as you’re not pulled into it, it’s ok to have some empathy and be compassionate.

[@thejavandenberg4509]

I feel you , I have taking care of a neighbour even when I moved to another city , went to visit him regularly, having phone calls few times a week but I went almost insane for he almost only was complaining , getting angry , demanding things , jealous , try to make others guilty while it,s no one,s fault he,s sick , he refuses professional help , he needs home care cause it,s a big mess everywhere in the house , so often tried to explain but he,s very very stubborn . I still feel so sad to see he,s making everything so difficult for himself .😢

[@christinestewart9734]

This is helpful , my ex husband is emailing me after 4months separation, after many back and forth disagreement about him visiting my kids and my grandchildren, after I said you have lost your privileges as a step father and step grandfather. But he felt entitled because of 19yr relationship during our relationship which they do not know about behind closed doors were toxic and life draining. So God spoke to me and said in my spirit leave it to him. For the narcissist will be exposed through his power . I am now taking your video to watch and see what he thinks he can get out of my children and grandchildren. . Because my family are not like his family. We have respect and integrity and he doesn't. So I see what hes after . He doesn't get treated like a king around his family. But my family are blinded. I pray that he does not come near my children and grandchildren with sweet talks and fake love. Which is what I've endurred for many years. I pray for Gods protection over my children and grandchildren in the name of Jesus Christ 🙏

[@OdysseusMDA]

Please protect your grandchildren at least from him They don't deserve to have their young minds screwed up.

[@heathermixson1265]

I'm a firm believer that the way they talk , meaning, their gaslighted comments toward people throughout their years cause them to experience their own gaslighted events that result in schizophrenia and dementia. Thank you Ross!!

[@Soralella71]

My narcissistic father was evil until his last day. I guess it's because he didn't know he was dying (he wasn't sick). He was pure evil and he died alone.

[@bronwyntanner4501]

My narc mother is 92. I have been no contact for 11 years. My son is still in contact. He tells me how much his grandmother has changed - has started to self reflect!!!!! BS!! I say to him I'm really happy to hear that. I do nothing about it. I will not break NC

[@Ex_877]

She knows he is an easy target and an avenue to re-enter your life. She has manipulated him into believing she has changed, knowing that he will relay the message back to you. This is how they think.

[@user-al81147]

I like how you said about your father "His version of the truth" It's all relative isn't it? Poignant video Thankyou 🙏🕉️

[@sonjamccart1269]

Current situation is that I won't put up with the behavior or the blaming or the drama, so there is an odd lack of complaining or communication at all. When I ask why he brings home (cheap drinks with corn syrup) which he has been so adamant in the past are not good for his boys, he says "I got them from work, I didn't buy them." there is this odd lack of common sense, and complete refusal to make decisions or answer questions directly. I don't trust him. He hasn't changed at all. He still sits and plays video games all evening and all weekend, has no ambition and just acts like he expect me to forgive and forget all the ranting rages and evil behavior of the past if he helps with the dishes.

[@positiveparentingwithastro8044]

This is exactly what happened to my grandmother. She completely decompensated and was desperate for supply. Do theu not understand the consequences that they will face due to their abuse? Do they not understand that their abuse eventually pushes everyone away and they will be alone?

[@LiminalDrag]

They do understand. It's someone else's fault, though. It's amazing how the 'religious' ones never consider meeting their maker after all they've done.

[@DELANODOMINICANO]

@@positiveparentingwithastro8044 I've asked myself this a lot. Some understand later in life but the ones who die that way, I feel sorry for them. I've seen someone die alone who may have been like this - my mother's client was dying and she only had certain friends who visited - her family never came to see her. After her death, her friends told my mother that they never knew she had so much money “Every time they went out they always paid.” I witnessed this woman's last days on this earth and they were not pretty - she couldn't sleep, she had night terrors (she says demons) - among other horrid things. My mother witnessed her death - she died of a C-dep infection (I think that's right) - black bile was coming from every part of her body….. While she was screaming and seeing some type of premonition. People like this video is describing don't always live long happy lives - they pay mostly at the very end of their existence.

[@mtsb557]

They crumble ... anxiety struck my 80 year old mother in law. She cannot control us anymore and feels too powerless.

[@jenniferdmartinez7500]

@@mtsb557 I’m blown away by how confident you and others are, in saying such MAJOR, gut-wrenching accusations about another person’s character and legacy; essentially reducing them to your lazy description of their worst (to u) moments. You describe the woman who raised your husband as a cartoonishly oversimplified googled diagnosis. Maybe she is terrible, and you have plenty receipts for your claims; but, you are super vague, slinging horrible accusations about a woman facing her mortality. Many people facing death have anxiety- but it doesn’t mean it has shit to do with controlling YOU. Instead of trying to better understand her painful experience, you project your own weird motives to her actions, and make HER struggles confronting death, about YOU?!?!? Again maybe u can demo everything u say. But you come off as arrogant, immature, self-involved, and utterly lacking respect for an elder and compassion for a human being. I hope your legacy won’t be in the sloppy type of some spiteful relative, who is too lazy to understand your dying experience, & justifies their lack of care for you, by vilifying you and making your death about them. There is DEFINITELY a narcissist in your relationship with your MIL, based on what you demonstrated so far, it isn’t her. I pray she has kinder, less judgy people by her side now.

[@jordanshepard8919]

​@jenniferdmartinez7500 LOL what??? 😂😂😂 How are you this butter hurt over someone you don't even know? Me thinks that if you never met someone so malevolent and deserving of a lonely life peppered with death anxiety, you're either extremely lucky, or you're the narcissist in your friends & family's stories.

[@TimTheComputerDoctor]

@@jenniferdmartinez7500 You know only what you've read in the comments.

[@TimTheComputerDoctor]

@@jordanshepard8919 @jordanshepard8919 They refuse to accept the truth of that situation, and seem to be projecting defending blame.

[@Salvnite]

Great work Ross! I love people who are reputable like you on Narcissism doing videos on the mystery of P Narcs at old age.. I think it is similar to old people who have dementia.

[@tatiannamarshalls2705]

They don't t change because they do not want to nor do they believe that they have a problem that requires them to change.

[@patriciapendlbury2603]

I agree but aometimea I wonder.....do they constantly make the choice throughout their life to remain this way?

[@freespirit9806]

Narcissists deny the spiritual realm. They believe only in what they can see, smell, taste, hear and touch. Based upon that they develop an ego identity , which is the person , the body and mind that will disappear someday

[@jenniferdmartinez7500]

@@freespirit9806 Narcissists openly judge & deny the validity of other people’s experiences. They feel entitled to describe how strangers develop their ego identities, and instead of showing humility and curiosity towards people they don’t understand, they rush to spread ignorant and arrogant summaries of other people and how they are doing life wrong.

[@jenniferdmartinez7500]

@@freespirit9806 the MOST consistent traits true narcissists share, are delusional confidence in their own ability to authoritatively issue offensive labels of other people and their problems, while showing almost comical blindness to their own obvious ignorance and self-aggrandizement

[@CamillaReginBacklund]

yes 3D

[@andron967]

It's a terrible thing. It's what we call evil. I can only hope that some day there is help for the narcissists . I see them as a tyoe of zombie . They aren't complete humans. And our society is evil enough that they are often prosperous. It does no good to hate them. It doesn't do any good to love them. This is all so sad and painful. I catch myself getting angry about it. Oh well.

[@shiny7301]

That exactly describes my father and my ex-husband's mother. They are covert malignant narcissists. Thanks Dr. Rosenberg ❤

[@martagilvazartlife]

Got rid of those , thank you for your time Ross

[@streaming5332]

Narcissists have children but they've damaged them and wrecked their lives. Her 'achievement' is grandchildren and living long enough to get a telegram from King Charles. It is painful watching her deteriorate, the nursing home keeps her alive even though she has zero quality of life.

[@jgboys1]

I always worry if I have narcissistic tendencies but as I get older I’m not afraid of getting old or dying, so I hope that means I’m not a narcissistic.

[@Mom4cool]

Thank you for this information. My daughter-in-law is a serious narcissist. Her mother has NPD. She is 45 years old and is the mother of my 5 year old granddaughter and 6 year old autistic grandson. My biggest concern is for my beautiful, funny, smart granddaughter is blooming while she is withering. Not to mention how she is wearing down my Flying Monkey son. I know, letting go, is my only choice, but heart breaking my heart.

[@muma6559]

show this video to young narcissists

[@jeanettecook1088]

Are not all narcissists pathological? Interesting video. Thank you. 🎉

[@libertycan6959]

Well explained.

[@incognito595]

They are very cunning and calculated.

[@iamthatiam44444]

Age is vulnerability, who says ''yeah I want to be vulnerable and I'm gonna love it'' Dying is frightening for everyone because we have no concrete evidence what it is! Who wouldn't be afraid?

[@SandraUkleja-op6fw]

Thank you very much. This is so true. I'm a Christian believer and did experience so much with and about JESUS over the decades. I know that HE is real and that there will be an afterlife. I have imaginations about it all which i believe are given to me by the Holy Spirit, whose annointing i feel daily very strongly. BUT i cannot imagine death. How or what will it be? The Bible says death is a person, our last enemy. This definition does nothing but scaring me.

[@iamthatiam44444]

@SandraUkleja-op6fw this may not go along with your beliefs so I apologize if it offends. They say God is the first particle of light, all powerful, whizzing around faster than the speed of light when the laws of physics were not introduced yet, this particle wizz3d around so fast it overtook itself🙀 creating the illusion of another particle, which created more n more and eventually creating ''us'' we are but an illusion this God particle created and gave us free will. When the illusionary body eventually dies it just goes back to the God particle to be one with the almighty. The ''self'' is mearly a mirage that was never real in the first place. Just as your dreams, if you have a bad dream they feel very real when you are in them until you wake up, then and only then you breath a sigh of relief it's over and just a bad dream. This goes on and on.

[@la6136]

I’m not afraid to die the soul lives on forever. Many people have had NDE who confirm this. Honestly the people who have passed on are in a way better place than any of us living on Earth. We are the ones that have to deal with earthly problems not them. Their souls are free now.

[@rachelcampbell9960]

And the first one never even attended his OWN LOVELY MOMS funeral!! THAT says a LOT!! I have escaped 3 of em and will NEVER EVER EVER trust a man again, as friends, YES, of course!! But more thsn that, NEVER EVER EVER!!! XXX❤❤❤

[@wowens1218]

I have watched hrs hrs and hrs of this type of video. 3-4 yrs worth. Best one on the aging.

[@mshiker]

I have experience this: my ex used to say he'll never die when he was in his 50's. Later when I talked about dying he said: I live at least 100 years old. 🤔😩

[@malcolmwaddilove1822]

Very good Ross,I see this happening before my very eyes,but still have empathy and compassion for my partner aged 62,myself being 68 and can testify to gods goodness,faithfulness to me, despite myself.

[@jamaicanboy2010]

Is this feel because they have seen the destination after death 💀, when they have been possessed by the dark aspects of their subconscious!!! I wonder 💭?

[@nhmooytis7058]

I think they’re more dangerous as they implode...

[@IrelandLochlin]

Agreed😮

[@Jadranka-sigma]

I am sure about that

[@mariajessielocklear8246]

Yes...my soon to be ex husband has become plain evil and physically aggressive...it's scary, so I'm out of here. 🙏

[@nhmooytis7058]

@@mariajessielocklear8246 good decision.

[@MauriceRivers415]

The aging/elderly narcissist tries to hide behind the "nice & sweet" label, because of their age, but Karma doesn't forget about them, either. They can run, but they can't hide, and eventually their health problems start catching up fast. It's wonderful to watch all that hate/jealousy/vitriol they projected onto other people, return to them in the form of their bodies breaking down and depriving them of things they once enjoyed. They reap what they sow, just later in life. Don't let them infect you with their hate and bitterness, because the Devil will always come to collect them when they least expect it.

[@HelenaSL360]

Thankyou this was very helpful.

[@RossRosenberg]

Glad it was helpful!

[@glowcoorganics3480]

I have lived and lost a “Narcissistic Mother” exactly as you described. However you need to add that they themselves were a product of emotional abuse that probably contributed to to their behaviour 😢

[@marciestoddard730]

It's not an excuse to perpetuate the abuse. This is a common minimization and justification used to victim shame/excuse abuse.

[@user-al81147]

I imagine as their looks and physical strength fade they start to panic, given that they trade on them to attract a partner/carer/victim Yep you confirmed it Thanks

[@STarWalker8]

❤

[@judy39]

you are a genius!

[@Alabaster12994]

This is why they donate their whole money for buildings with their name on.

[@wambuialice957]

spot on

[@wboutsianis]

This is the most comforting video I have seen on this subject. Thank you so much for making this!

[@bev4155]

Just had to put the narcissistic MIL in a lock down alzheimer unit. She is where she belongs and we now have our life back. She has been unraveling since she had a stroke. She hid knives everywhere and was a hoarder. Yet everyone around her thinks she's wonderful. Just grateful she is where she belong.

[@florencemerino1678]

I don't know you but I thank you for doing KZbin message it was very helpful to me it opened my eyes to a lot of that are with my family and co-workers and someone I was going out with in his forties how you said he realizes that he never got married had any and he starts self dis I see it it's going on right and your KZbin video has helped me please keep making the to help thank you for your message Florence

[@Emefur1]

How can we break free from this as their adult children? It’s disturbing and confusing and unpleasant to witness this. Their rewriting of history, their miserable approach to death, their need for control etc.

[@lynnschaeferle-zh4go]

Not my narcissist. He’s the psychopathic kind. His perfect body and and superior mind means he’s impervious to sickness and dementia. His genes are long lived but I don’t think he will escape the effects of alcoholism. And it’s amusing because this creature cannot handle sickness. He shuts down completely and acts like the outside world (including people)needs to be punished for their pain The one I divorced is a total nonbeliever so he’s not got any regard for decency

[@Marshall-sp8vn]

Thank you Sir.

[@afmario790]

This video of PN is different than the others I watched, even more details I guess. Finding PN is not nearly possible because of their covert traits. But if you found one, they are a very good source of study as much as to studying any psychopaths. The main part is that they do not act directly as psychopaths or sociopaths; they use others as their prop to commit their brutal crimes; that is the challenge in identifying them in the society. They can get the job done flawlessly, twisting even the psychiatrist who would treat them. The details are perfect in many ways through my research in the last few years about Narcissists. PN or coverts are the most dangerous to deal with.

[@carrieerickson6659]

So the narcissist is aware that their behavior is wrong?

[@1stwastheword]

does pathalogical loneliness ... makes us think we were / are in love with them ? 😔🥀💔

[@RossRosenberg]

More about it here: www.selfloverecovery.com/collections/human-magnet-syndrome-books

[@Mithras444]

All the lies come home to roost and they can't keep up the facade anymore.

[@Emefur1]

Brilliant analysis, thank you. I recognise all of this and can see this clearly playing out with my own elderly mother. They can start to appear to “humanise” themselves in some weird and confusing way. They refer to death in a resentful miserable way. They carry on still trying to suck the energy out of the room. It’s difficult to deal with their pity-play and new ways to control and vampire your life and energy.

[@shylajanaiksatam9730]

Good to hear all you had to say . 👍🏼🌺🙏😊

[@blammo13]

Looking forward to the rest of Little Kyle’s speaking tour.

[@helenpadilla7018]

Sounds like what is going to happen to my husband

[@michelecrouse5284]

my father is 74 and he is out of victim's my mum passed in 2022. His 2 brothers also passed shortly after. my father upped his drug abuse and he was a physically abused my mothe physically emotionally mentally financially. he always abused me verbally narcissistic make sure i dont have healthy relationships with men. now his out of my house as he excalcalsted to physical physical abuse he broke my nose in 4 places ..... he is in panic mode forsure he cut him out alone he wrote it in vourt documents he is depressed like that is my problem i was just a battery he took from me on all levels...... its like he wants my life.

[@ceriasophis405]

It's interesting to me I am an only child raised by my mother who was very self sufficient and taught me to be the same..emotionally secure for the most part. However I am alone at 69 now and feel my age..and not ready to die however who knows when that occurs. No belief in the myth of afterlife..although I have been surrounded by it my whole life. I just don't see the fact of that anthropological belief. We come to become and be in the experience of life until we are no longer in that experience. I've lived a life of appreciation of people places and things in my life..but learned that non-attachment to any body or thing beyond the actual interrelationship of which the Idea of a self as the other is recognized outside of ME. I can't force another to be mine just as I couldn't expect that to be the case before I appeared on the scene. I take it for what is worth according to the value that it is: good or bad. I cannot accept anything that I could claim is mine as death takes everything with what we ever thought said or did. What I brought to this life was nothing and that is what I will take back when I leave. What a trip life is...to experience something inside and outside of my existence. What good comes of it along the way remain to be see..if only for a moment..in ones' mind and when it's gone the eternal moment will always remain to be seen by those that are in the present. I wonder the existential crisis breeds the narcissist which is at the core of all beings. Which keeps us from seeing things the way they really are while thinking can actually compound the disconnection from the chance to experience the life one has in the hopes of changing what they can't see or understand. Which is the biggest fools folly.

[@usèr1234-x1o]

Beautiful, very well said. Thank you, and I fully concur.❤

[@ceriasophis405]

@@usèr1234-x1o appreciate you.

[@sonOfTheL1vingGod]

Jesus Christ is very real and He is coming very soon, things will get worse and worse. Repent and believe that Jesus was crucified for your sins, buried and rose again on the Third Day from the heart and Ask God for His Holy Spirit with faith which will lead you to all truth , much love!

[@andyanderson6522]

Say that to God

[@MetaPhysStore0770]

Please, one question, Is the SLDD 11 step recovery process any different if the narcissist dies?

[@RossRosenberg]

Join my program. More information here: www.selfloverecovery.com/pages/self-love-recovery-treatment

[@risky1]

I was a Narcissist for the first (accountable) 30 years of my life and I was also well on my way to being an alcoholic. Then....I found God or God found me but it changed my life 180 degrees. I became very much the Empath - and much more Spiritual So many things changed in my life - could not touch alcohol and wanted to help others instead of taking from them I love going out of my way to assist others that are less fortunate - I am speculating but i think God sometimes gives you a taste of what you were dishing out before. I have become wealthy since then and no longer have the same desires. I have become healthy ... and i attribute this solely to God - no aches - no pains - no medications And I am not afraid to pass on to the next life (I am not suicidal) I'm just ready for whatever is in the future I feel that if God has my life set up to expire on a certain date.....I don't want to keep Him waiting.

[@Muppet.master]

♥️🙏❤️🌊

[@Merlijnvv]

The dying process doesn't have to go that way for either the cluster B or the non-cluster B person. Some people simply do not have a legacy to leave behind, and some people do not even want to leave a legacy behind. Life doesn't have to be according to Maslow's pyramid, which is society related and based on popular belief. And with that comes the notion how people have integrity, how they die and how they should die within our society, according to a stratification that runs parallel to socio-economic status. etc. It is very narrow-minded. A narcissist doesn't have to become more anxious than others. I know at least one person in my family who was kind of stoic when he came closer to death. He did not care, and maybe the rejection he felt toward others and toward the world made him feel that death might give him redemption. He also did not identify with his posessions, but saw art as one of the very few things that still gave him a feeling of comfort. The man had been depressed for decades. The guilt and shame were not things that weighed him down as 'judgment day' was approaching. There wasn't even such a notion of 'judgment'. Conscience on a relational level was there in the end, but more in the context of the wish of seeing his children one last time. And seeking peace after so many things that had happened during his life. Even a narcissist cannot keep the pathology up forever. Even for a narc comes a point when he has to admit that it is the end. Edit: for so many people is the reality that they fear they will vanish into oblivion and that their existence will turn out to be meaningless to the rest of the world (song Eleanor Rigby). The truth is that we are not so important. Just look at our size compared to the earth compared to the sun compared to the universe. During our lifetime we have hope for a future and we make plans. We act like we live forever. Tomorrow is a promise to no-one but that doesn't count for me. And then someting happens. You become ill, and you know you probably won't live for another five years. You lose your house, your belongings, your future prospects, and then you will find yourself essentially grounded in a nursing home when you are not even 53 years old. Surrounded by people who don't care and just do their daily routines. You have no family of any meaning and no friends, not because you misbehaved but because they misbehaved, or just are not friends at all. People who all know better, but know nothing at all. Then the existential loneliness sets in, and you will have to find meaning in a broken world yourself. There might be a thing to remember: why is it that people hang a torture device on the wall with a corpse on it? Maybe you have one yourself. And maybe it signifies that this is the fate of a person who is a drop-out - and because of that cannot rely on someone else without great risk.

[@Helen-oh1no]

Do you mean a crucifix on the wall?

[@Coral_Forever]

Your videos are so helpful.

[@mrvapor4791]

Or if they have a career like my mother who is approaching 80 and is a director of an accounting firm she will try and work until the day she dies and avoid the collapse.

[@debbyjoy3]

Why would my covert narcissist husband kill himself when he was afraid of being alone and afraid of getting dementia...?? He thought I was going to leave him and was tired of living...he killed himself...why would he do that?

[@lindavincent678]

My husband told me he sold his soul to the devil

[@monicaperez2843]

That is very possible. I think narcissism has a spiritual component.

[@jenniferdmartinez7500]

Sincere question: why do you think it’s so unlikely this woman’s behavior changes are rooted in genuine reflection/desire to do better? Seems to me, she’s changed in ways that tangibly improve the lives of her forgiving fam. Why is that suspect, instead of celebrated? Why are your own theories about her inner motives & narrative, more ‘correct’ than the tangible ways she is SHOWING (not just talking) commendable change, at such a late stage…? So, did you convince her relatives to distrust her? To reject any valiant, final act pursuits to be better? Should she just rot in regret?

[@1fancychik4God]

Good

[@miriam100ful]

they pretend not to be afraid of dying, and in fact say they want to die. They are scared of being alone, they need the energy of other people to fill up their emptiness. The worst thing for a narcissist is to be alone, and they are so miserable all the time and complaining.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Wow ❤

[@highfive9835]

Does anybody know of any info out there about narcissism in family units? My husband's grandfather is a communal narcissist, it took me 10 years to figure out what the heck was happening. Now I've done a bunch of research and am seeing similar patterns in other in-laws. Am I going crazy, or... I don't know, does it spread? If it does, why?

[@maryanne1537]

There are the children of God (Our Eternal Father) and the children of caine, the wheat and the tares. The children of caine are the ones that oppress the children of God. That is what this is all about. Families are a mixture of both. I think it is awesome that you have recognized the patterns !

[@highfive9835]

@@maryanne1537 I don't understand, Caine's line died in the flood. Can you point me at some scripture?

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Yes 🎉they every where

[@monicaperez2843]

Narcissism runs in families.

[@kaymuldoon3575]

Yes, absolutely. Narcissism often runs in families. Science states that there is a genetic component to it, and that narcissism develops due to a combination of genetics and environment.

[@billybobwombat2231]

Asking them to change is like asking a man with one leg to grow another one, ain't gonna happen

[@michelecrouse5284]

i would love your book hower im in South Africa Johannesburg

[@RossRosenberg]

We also have the digital version that you can order here: www.selfloverecovery.com/collections/human-magnet-syndrome-books/products/the-human-magnet-syndrome-the-codependent-narcissist-trap-2018-digital

[@DELANODOMINICANO]

I recently stopped talking to my dad and stepdad because my mother tends to go after toxic masculine, alpha narcissistic men. These men are angry, abusive, cheating, and defamatory. My mother was sexually assaulted by her dad - since I know this I have more grace for her toxic ways but I still keep my distance from her and only talk to her of there is an emergency. She's defamed my name to her husband's family and my dad has done the same with his. Needless to say - everyone they spoke badly about me to I no longer speak to.

[@AnaSilva-to1sy]

If people researched why a Narcissist acts the way he does, their would be no videos about Narcissism. Narcissists are little children in grown-up bodies. Little boys & girls that never got their way as children, so now as younge, they demand it.

[@tammygonzalez4144]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[@oppressednolonger1497]

What is an "SLD" as he refers to in this video, (recounting how the woman described who found herself alone 'on an island' as he describes it) and finds herself no longer with any SLDs in her life, whats the acronym here? unfamiliar with it. TY.

[@RossRosenberg]

SLD stands for Self- Love Deficient. More about it here: www.selfloverecovery.com/collections/human-magnet-syndrome-books

[@oppressednolonger1497]

most appreciate this clarification, link & description! :) @@RossRosenberg

[@MrSickpuppy10]

My father done all of this. Lived his whole life as a complete ass. When the end of his life was on the horizon, he married the woman he was living with to please god, converted to religion but never bothered trying to make peace with his family. Been on his death bed for almost 12 months now 🙄

[@Elios0000]

so question some that was a good friend changed DRASTICALLY after her father died and for the worse before he died she would actively talk about how she would break these rules he would set when she was younger and talk about how he would never see her as an adult... after he died she 180'ed hard talking about how she HAD to do all these things her dad wanted, had do everything the way he would have wanted.... could that be related to this kinda thing? she also seem to double down on this military wife fantasy and has now groomed a guy more then 1/2 her age to join so she can have this fantasy and as totally cut off all her past friend groups

[@marydonovan6681]

A narcissist’s Higher Power is themselves

[@freshstrt3140]

What does "SLD" stand for?

[@RossRosenberg]

SLD stands for Self- Love Deficient. More about it here: www.selfloverecovery.com/collections/human-magnet-syndrome-books

[@rachelcampbell9960]

I broke free then ended up with another 2. They sadly passed away, and yes I WAS upset they didn't drserve THAT, one natural, the other fished out of river Clyde in Glasgow, he been missing a month!! And yes I was very very upset over both passings, all 3 were spoilt rotten by their Moms!! The 1st one still with us but I cut text contact with him, 😢 I forgive him but I will NEVER forget wht he done tl me, he even pissed on me, thrn laffed an said it was just a JOKE!!! YEAH, VERY funny!! Not!! Xxx❤❤❤😊😊😊je just a d**khead!! Havnt seenhkm in town for over a year, but I dont want him to die!! His daughters are LOVELY!! He was 17 yearsolder than me so he in his 70s now, I think part of hkm changed for better!! Lets hope so a yway, for bis families sake anyways, Xxx😢❤❤❤

[@Helen-oh1no]

Did he literally p*ss on you?

[@christinestewart9734]

A question if you read this please 🙏 is a person with dementia a person who was a narcissist? .. because I believe that in the Bible Jesus Christ healed a person who had mental issues and manisfestion of cruelty which is a narcissist (demonic spirit) if you understand the spirit realm. So these people who end up with dementia gets me thinking 🤔?

[@hiraijo1582]

Sure not. Dementia is not monocausal, like most disease. there are so many factors. Diabetes, chronic stress, etc.. My mother suffered from dementia. She was kind and decent. She was never entitled nor did she clinge to life. When a lifesaving surgery was needed, she refused it. Though she suffered from dementia she seemed to be very clear at this moment. She just said : it is time to go.

[@dawnholmes2136]

My narc mil in hospital grandaughter 11 yrs old been 4 evenings in a row does nut have a close relationship only she told her in hospital this evening that she won’t make it home My gd was very upset to hear this why did she do that too her 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@Beanp2025]

Narcissists who have a religion believe firmly that they will go to heaven, as far as I can see.

[@AnaSilva-to1sy]

Also, Narcissists were never showed any unconditional love when theiy were little children.

[@Crazybaby2409]

Not true. Some were spoiled rotten, so their narcissism developed out of a grandiose sense of entitlement.

[@TimTheComputerDoctor]

It's definitely true for some people.

[@kaymuldoon3575]

@@Crazybaby2409 exactly. My neighbor and ex friend was an only child and her mother doted on her, spoiled and coddled her, and basically handled her problems for her throughout her life. So when her mom died, my neighbor collapsed. Her constant source of supply was gone so she had to find other sources of supply. I became one of them…but no more.

[@SoulSeeker2025]

Even when dying they're selfish. This explains why my 70 year old parents have done everything to extend their lives. Expensive therapies, alternative medicine, flying around the world for specialists.

[@rachelcampbell9960]

They are psychic vampires!! Drain u dry, 😢

[@rachelcampbell9960]

I strongly believe in God!! Spiritually, Religious extremists are SO SO WRONG, it's ONE GOD!! Period!!!! 😊xxx

[@mac-ju5ot]

😮What do u do when people flip the script Ross. I recognize the patterns just cant seem to break it . I never say ,"no" but sometimes id love to.Looking as I age ill recognize ill probably age alone......my mom use to say why give the milk away when u can get the cow for free....yes everything is starting to hurt. Trying to not be vain...just wamt better reltionships ( A lot my cues i try to take from my mom..but she was a martyr.

[@RossRosenberg]

Come and join my program. More information here: www.selfloverecovery.com/pages/self-love-recovery-treatment

[@simplysindisiwe]

Your dad confessed and changed a bit towards the end? I've heard these people don't change till their death bed.

[@Emefur1]

He didn’t change really. Just his modus operandi.