Narcissists & casting pearls before swine

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[@NarcSurvivor]

Narcissists always want to be put first, even at the expense of your health and well-being. It isn't until you leave, that you finally notice the emotional and psychological damage that you have endured.

[@vibehigh5280]

Yea!

[@gsnjc2212]

Doing the rounds on other KZbinrs again I see, plagiarising & making money from other's work & material - as usual 😏.

[@audra1976oliver]

So very very true about how you don't know the extent of damage till you are out and not in any contact anymore. It's a life lesson. So glad after 14 months of that relationship, I've gotten out. I can feel my soul returning.

[@vibehigh5280]

@@audra1976oliver i agree!!

[@audra1976oliver]

@Veegee333 I totally get that! Good for you! Yay!

[@WhitneyQ]

Started my no contact today. I’m going to be so strong

[@MzShonuff123]

You can do it! Especially once that dopamine kicks in. You're going to feel sooooooo good and get the best sleep of your life. Promise!

[@vibehigh5280]

Be extra kind to yourself. You got this! The freedom is oh-so amazing!! 😉

[@cindywiseman4082]

Over one year of no contact last week!! You can do it!!!

[@christinewilliams1298]

You can do it Whitney! 🌸

[@enbykenz]

You’ve got this!!!

[@PoojaRai0447]

A relationship with a narcissist will last when you continue to put yourself last.

[@amoramorena]

Set boundaries. They loose interest.

[@janellemccoy09]

And if It is to bad they can become physical.

[@devidaughter7782]

so well said!!!

[@thintwin48]

Could this BE anymore BRILLIANT?! ...Utter truth!

[@realhealing7802]

Wow! Great statement!!!

[@Abz176]

When someone refuses to listen, stop talking. Remember, your time is a gift.

[@inaj27]

I’m going to try that instead of trying to be heard .

[@lovesdogs8616]

Thats so true, when people talk to me, I consider their time as a gift.

[@jengable4888]

Yes it is !!

[@unconversantcallowincandes1540]

Well Spoken Mr. David Komisser. I like how you say "your time is a gift". That's something everyone especially children should know. Brilliantly said again

[@blueflower8656]

My therapist told me once "no matter how beautiful, smart, funny or sweet you are, he is so narcissistic that he will never be able to appreciate it". I am already divorcing the swine and giving my pearls to myself :)

[@TheQueensWish]

Keeping 100% of your pearls is far better than giving away 80% to someone who throws them back at you. It’s so sad they are this way. It’s so hopeless.

[@mariajmc6557]

Be blessed ☺️

[@kristenstewart1250]

Yes! Love that for you!

[@catwoman3247]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@GodsChosenMekAmoR]

🤣🤣🤣

[@pettylabelle7944]

I have one - “Never argue with a fool - from a distance no one can tell the difference.”

[@77ulrike]

So true!!

[@letitiamccowncrutchfield9145]

@@77ulrike I remember it this way: "Never argue with a fool; they will take you down to their level and beat you with experience.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

OOH, YES!

[@Rockstar-kw7bz]

Gurrrrrllll

[@lyndamoore1626]

Casting your pearls before swine- the pearls are “time” Don’t waste your precious time on someone who doesn’t or something that isn’t worth it.

[@CodyCole80]

Time, good deeds, and goods in general. 👍🏾

[@eddierayvanlynch6133]

Yes! Yes! Yes! These^^ Having happiness and sanity stolen is bad enough. 🤔👏💯♥️😃😊😎

[@millymilly8097]

And other qualities: kindness, empathy, understanding, humor...

[@sunshine-sm6nf]

yes if it is negative energy, dont go there. My husband was setting up his sister and me to go walking and I thought what? She is always late and I am never a priority, so much negative energy. No I dont think so. I use to be a people pleaser, no more. Yes, dont waste your precious time.

[@kstarrify]

Pearls are also wisdom/ideas/advice/womb = also known as energy

[@shirleybooth835]

"You can't make a silk purse out of a pigs ear". Try as you might you will never change a Narcissist.

[@steviep9780]

I heard it 'sow's ear' but yes! This is key to healing, the accepting of this!

[@zhurizhay3647]

The rest of the verse warns they will trample them under their feet turn and tear you to pieces. This is a perfect description of a relationship with a narc.

[@user-dt8dq5li6o]

So true. You can’t make someone love you by giving them more of what they already don’t appreciate. Dr. Ramami, I can’t thank you enough for sharing your wisdom. It has literally saved me.

[@rcomyns4664]

She has saved me too! So grateful.

[@triplekids3]

I’m done with people who don’t appreciate me I’m working on my healing after being a abused for 55 years

[@adelesmith7827]

Hi.... i can actually recommend Marisa peer she is amazing and stick with her youll come bk to his post in six months and feel so much better x

[@steviep9780]

I assume you are no contact with your abuser? I'm sure you understand... it's hard to heal while in the relationship and I wasn't clear? I wish you all the best, you deserve it, and it's NEVER too late!

[@melanieknowles7002]

Your time now and everyday is precious. Blessings and much love for your future.

[@lovemymini8418]

Me too...parents my whole life and husband for 33 years. No more.

[@rebeccacharles5758]

@@adelesmith7827 No thanks Mate, she forces and programmes people in the area of forgiveness and tells them they MUST forgive. I will stick with Dr Ramani.

[@findingdori6219]

“She (wisdom) is more precious than rubies.” - proverbs 3:15

[@elocat2511]

a favorite of mine

[@ShrewdEmpath]

Pearls before swine. I've definitely missed out on a lot of decent people wasting a good ten years on abusive family members.

[@CodyCole80]

I concur. I realize I missed out on developing true friendships with good people because I was running behind other people who couldn’t care less. 😐

[@ShoJ369]

But those 10 years are over now, and you can be free from them. You have many years left and you have gained wisdom.

[@soniabernatchez7466]

yep

[@slynn360]

True that!

[@davidskues7153]

Don't expose what is valuable to you to people who are dangerous, thoughtless, i considerate. Don't be vulnerable with untrustworthy people. The original teaching was never meant to be so narrowly applied as to only one theme. The concept was taught precisely because it applies to so many situations.

[@dougarnold7955]

Yeah, there's so many things that can be read into sayings like this. ...I'm not critical of that, actually i think that's the beauty of it.

[@randyhetlage9202]

The full line says they will trample them and attack you which is what a narcissist would do

[@goldheartminer7069]

Right.

[@AnHebrewChild]

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. - Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount

[@janellemccoy09]

Don't teach what someone isn't willing to learn. Nice advice!

[@Trollika_Devi]

I learned that the hard way

[@janellemccoy09]

@@Trollika_Devi I am also.

[@dougarnold7955]

So true.

[@steviep9780]

That was me. No more! I have enough learning to do for myself, without trying to rescue the unwilling.

[@pistitoth1363]

Csodásan beszélsz ! Van benned, valami kellemes . De ! Igaz hit , mely vezérel .Mi motivál ! Én tudom . A szeretet hiánya ! És átadod az érzéseidet . Igazi nő vagy !

[@joytotheworld6804]

Jesus is the biggest teacher of strong boundaries. He knew what he was up against, he never backed down.

[@hom281]

Isn't it ironic how the narcissistic person sees himself / herself as the one offering pearls to swine (their victims)

[@detjaggillar8081]

Yes - it is ironic! But do not let You be fooled: The narc ALWAYS behave like they are the victims.

[@c.o.s.ismyname7701]

Right! :)

[@BohemianAndy]

So true. My former best friend is like that

[@neilburnside398]

"You should be GRATEFUL I spend any time with you at all, you have no idea how lucky you are to know me." Is the echo I keep hearing from a narcissist from my past.

[@RiRi-bx5vp]

Exactly

[@kerrym1456]

Don’t forget the other half of that proverb, a warning: ...”lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”. Your videos are always very helpful and it makes me look at my own behavior as well as how to cope with the behavior of others.

[@ranger4779]

"Don't break bread with a fool". JC

[@devidaughter7782]

feeling great compassion for his 'lack', I would expend hours of my precious time, energy and money in order to show up with offerings of home-made food, 'treats', material contributions, and positive energy. yet rather than the experiencing the "appreciation and regard that are necessary to make a relationship healthy" (8:12), my offerings would be taken for granted, disregarded or even ridiculed.

[@victorgonzalez2499]

Yes, they start to feel like: Wow, if this person is giving me all this that means I must be great. Instead they should feel: Wow, this person is giving me so much, I better value and care for him/ her.

[@victorgonzalez2499]

@wolf masque That seems to be in line with Covert style. I get what you say, I had a grandiose narcissistic friend who would make... I don’t know, let’s say breakfast, and then would complain about not getting enough thanks for his generosity

[@CodyCole80]

😳 I was just reading about this last week. 👍🏾 Don’t feel bad about calling narcissists swine. They are SOOOO much lower than that. 😒

[@emmanuelking9988]

1:17..."Whoever knew that the Old and New Testaments were instruction manuals on narcissism". The Bible details the fight the world has against the Lord Jesus Himself; the fight satan and his demons have against good and God's believers. Therefore, it's a great comparison to narcissism because the narcs envy and want to destroy the good in people. And yes, the Lord calls believers to love their enemy but does not call believers to accept abuse by them...in fact, the Lord commands us to depart from the wicked and their evil ways.

[@angelajones5407]

You can be nice but not to the abuser..withhold compliments, don't break a sweat trying to be punctual, don't put thought into presents, etc. In other words, don't build them up, they don't deserve it.

[@steviep9780]

This thinking isn't fair to YOU. You are a better person than the narcissist precisely because you are not an abuser, are generous with compliments, are respectful of others' time, put thought into gifts, and build others up. Put all your wonderfulness into someone who can appreciate it! Namaste.

[@angelajones5407]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. We probably won't agree but I have learnt it is ok to be strategic and selective without it compromising my character. I don't want disrespect to flourish in people I care about

[@carolynkepler2826]

I wish someone had said this to me 60 years ago. I wasted my whole life trying to get these creeps to see my value. I really couldn’t see the difference.

[@mariamkarjiker301]

You can still give yourself a loving life. Be good and kind to yourself💞💚💙

[@steviep9780]

It's never too late Carolyn. Learn what healthy looks like and then act your way to being. Good people exist and will appear before you!

[@victorgonzalez2499]

I love how Dr Ramani says, Giving me a Chanel suit or an exotic wine would be throwing pearls before swine to some. I feel she would appreciate it even if she was not an expert, that means giving pearls to a queen. I was taught a proverb that says: When the river is loud, it means there’s water coming. Essentially listen to your gut.

[@eddierayvanlynch6133]

When the river is loud... 🤔 Interesting^^ Thx👍

[@bbooher9663]

I heard MY gut loud and clear. THEN, TOTALLY ignored it. That relationship almost DESTROYED me!

[@bbooher9663]

We're not supposed to feel lonely in a relationship with someone.

[@sophiafreewoman3352]

No offence to all the smart, cute pigs.

[@devidaughter7782]

yes, and maybe its about just not giving what isn't suitable to another being! pigs don't need pearls - they don't appreciate them because that's not what they are about. I would spend so much time and money making beautiful organic, naturally-sweetened baked goods for my ex, because I knew his diet was poor and he was at risk for diabetes. I thought I could show him 'a better way' with food, but this just wasn't 'what he was about'. he never appreciated it, because he wasn't a 'natural foods' kind of guy; I was just wasting my time and money -its so clear to me now!

[@triplekids3]

I left a pig farmer of 33 years I left 6 months ago yes pigs are so cute

[@eddierayvanlynch6133]

As a farm boy, I can tell ya, pigs are *nothing* like narcs: Pigs (like dogs) are very intelligent and capable of great loyalty and love. Again, nothing like a narc. 👍😊💯💖🐕🐖😎

[@melanieknowles7002]

@@eddierayvanlynch6133 i' m getting myself some farm boy. He can bring his piggie.

[@eddierayvanlynch6133]

@@melanieknowles7002 - Best of luck to y'all. 👍😁☘️🐖💯♥️😎

[@Smurgles]

I also think the pearls are your self - self-respect, self-esteem, self-worth. Whether they are a parent or a love interest they will destroy you if you let them. The sooner you identify them for what they are and get the heck away from them the better off you'll be.

[@brianvandermark4601]

On trying to get through to a Narcissist' dark mind: "A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still".

[@MaudeySwift]

I don’t like snobby stuff that hurts other people too!!!

[@SigMaQuint]

I love fine design, but not when narcissism goes together with it. Took me a long time to realize .. how the test results about appreciation of excellence and beauty in Positive Psychology actually could be a good thing. Will I ever solve those contradicting experiences?

[@AnHebrewChild]

Not sure if this is your intimation here, but this proverb isn’t snobby. No, the context and application of it is EXACTLY a warning against predatory personalities.

[@annelorenz2857]

I have thought of this proverb so many times as I have grieved the wasted time, energy, and my precious self in narcissistic relationships in the past. It is so true, and I think narcissists are total pigs- actually worse than pigs- which makes this proverb so apt! You explained perfectly as always, Dr Ramani. Thank you so much for this channel!! You make survivors stronger and wiser! 💪🏼💕👍

[@CIST3]

I found this so interesting. That saying can sound harsh, but it must be lived out to survive a relationship with a narcissist. My values were so different from my ex and I learned that there was no point is sharing the best of myself. It was only after I filed for divorce that my ex attempted to speak to me about something substantive and I thought of this scripture verse and thought, I've already learned that you wouldn't appreciate what I have to say about this. I'm done sharing my deepest and best self with you. I recognized the behavior as future faking. I try to live my life respectful of others, but sometimes, it's best to remain silent and cut your losses.

[@colleenbishop2217]

You can cast the finest pearls and notice to some swine that their memory has no recollection of it at all. If your attempts don't even exist to them, going completely overlooked..then so does your own value as a person. Let pigs eat what they are known to eat..their own "stuff"

[@domif.b.7657]

Giving and giving and giving even more til exhaustion and with little or no return; I could write a book about that! I really had to train myself to stop doing that, to pull back a little and see what happens... some setbacks on my way but it's getting better. The big narcs have fallen by the wayside and I am trying to make healthier contacts. Thank you so much for your video ☺️

[@devidaughter7782]

I can SO relate!

[@RiRi-bx5vp]

Yes

[@steviep9780]

YES! That was me, trying to protect my N sister from the natural consequences of her actions! Tiptoeing, eggshells, then she explodes that she knows far more than I (but she doesn't and is willfully IGNORING the consequences!). I let her fall for the first time and she blamed ME for her mistake. There's no convincing a fool that they are indeed a fool, and no reasoning with the unreasonable. No contact for about a year now.

[@immortalnow]

​@@steviep9780 Love this: "There's no convincing a fool that they are indeed a fool, and no reasoning with the unreasonable." Me, no contact with narc wife for 3 years now, so good.

[@BillyRunsShow]

Tell me about it. I kept giving and giving to my narc girlfriend. She publicly defamed me, then ghosted me. We were separated for 4 months. Then she came back to me. The vulnerable part of me naively thought she maybe had Avoidant Personality Disorder instead. She set me up once again last Tuesday. Here is my story from a few months ago: kzbin.info/www/bejne/j6KcYomkg9isbK8.

[@1jw298]

Good to hear the gospels being preached. There’s no better wisdom than the word of God.

[@edelweissdebergbaldrian7696]

Talk about projection, the exN told me that, "He was casting his pearls before swine." Meaning me!

[@gingerisevil02]

I used this proverb as a coping skills in my 20's while still living with folks; did not let my father know my goals or ambitions or he would come after me

[@melanieknowles7002]

Seriously!!!! Who does that. So sorry.

[@nancyhagan7553]

this is what hurts most giving your best self to these swine what a waste the only thing is forgiving oneself and moving forward

[@brockshen]

Narcissists - that love that makes missing them and jealousy impossible.

[@myspiritualsanctuary8668]

Fine wine, Fine clothes and Scriptures mean nothing unless there is a sincere, humble, loving giver or receiver that have no expectations or attachments to these gifts. Those are the real virtues of life. This kind of sounds like what a Narcissist would say to someone, "you don't deserve to have the best"! Bullshit I say! Everyone deserves the best when it is appreciated by the receiver or giver and is done with love, compassion & integrity. Just saying as I've had the fine wine, fine clothes and religion and I have had nothing at all just my relationship with God and I can tell you none of it matters but kindness, love, compassion, honesty and truth. It is about our relationship with ourselves that determines how we relate with others...not the other way around. Thank you for bringing this forward and the food for thought has made me realize how much I've grown to love myself and God despite anyone else.

[@1986nitya]

Beautifully put! I completely agree with you.

[@frankd.brennan6520]

It's almost impossible to find honest people anymore.

[@JC-bu6vl]

Dr. Ramani is right, this is a lesson that is rarely taught. I had to learn this one the hard way.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

J C, Hope you are not with a narc 😈!

[@brendakipkemoi2738]

Thank you Dr Ramani. I've reached the end of my tether with my narcissistic partner & father of my child. There's no hope. It's taken me 6 years to realize this. Your videos are helping me cope and understand what has been happening. I tried my best to be understanding, caring, submissive, patient, polite, nothing worked. I finally understand it's a disorder and beyond my capabilities.

[@perlab4167]

This proverb saved me as I divorced the malignant narc. And my name is Perla🥰🙏🏽

[@JulieAnnStone]

Dr. Ramani, I appreciated the explanation and distinction you made between the original meaning, the snobby topnotes and the deeper meaning of the proverb as used in the aspect of narcissism. You have a very wonderful way of breaking down these concepts which is very helpful.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

JulieAnn Stone Ryan,I admire your lovely smile!😍😍😊🤙

[@exhaustedwife862]

Bhagwad Gita 17.22: And that charity, which is given at the wrong place and wrong time to unworthy persons, without showing respect, or with contempt, is held to be of the nature of nescience.

[@dougarnold7955]

Oh! ...a gita quote. Nice! 👍

[@fernanne08]

I felt this to my core! Thank you!

[@absolutelyfreestockshots1931]

I love you doctor Ramani. You're so wise and humane.

[@nusrathsultana5082]

Thanyou Dr Ramani ..yet again!! 21 years of pearl giving and swine just got bigger 😅

[@devidaughter7782]

mine just kept hungrily gobbling up my offerings, never satisfied for long, always wanting more!

[@seekerofknowledge8961]

Never expect more from a pig that a grunt!! They will suck the value of life right one who is unaware that narcissists exist. They can never show any appreciation or reciprocity!! Save yourself, your energy, give only to those who are worthy of goodness and love!

[@marybernhagen724]

I don't know why but this one made me laugh--just visualizing my narc as a pig with a grunt. So true!

[@cosmicgregg]

This was the phrase I used for myself when I went no contact

[@brendakrause5639]

Yes, me too.

[@dougarnold7955]

That's cool. ...and very effective.

[@revathysembuganathan]

Stay away from anyone and anything which messes up with your inner peace, mental and physical health, finances and energy. Take an inventory of all the relationships in your life including the one you have with yourself. When you are self aware, you get better at identifying the red flags earlier on. I only knew about this 8 months ago when I walked away from a toxic relationship. It’s very hard to identify narcissism if you are raised by narcissistic/codependent parents or family. Choosing to work with a therapist has been the best decisions I’ve made in 2021. I am so happy and grateful that i found Dr.Ramani’s channel when I started my NC journey 8 months ago. Don’t give up on yourself wherever you are in your recovery journey, there’s tools and help available to help us cope with this soul crushing experience. Don’t be afraid to do the grief work and healing, it’s worth it and you are worthy. My sincere gratitude to Dr.Ramani for being the torch bearer this aching world needs 🙏🏽

[@gigattwarrior6201]

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your hard work. And I truly would love to be one of your case-studies. I have been putting my pearls before a swine for 18 years, but God delivered me through your videos and so many others. You are describing my life so accurately. You are right on the money! Wow!

[@malaikavida]

I used gray rock technique yesterday and it was so shielding and I felt safe finally in my own home.

[@melanieknowles7002]

Dont relax about it. Narcs turn in an instant. Pls be safe.

[@malaikavida]

@@melanieknowles7002 yes I am planning my exit strategy. In order to do that, I must relax my mind and sleep well. Relaxed mind works better. Otherwise, I would be shaking, having panic attacks, and be at narc’s mercy all over again.

[@malaikavida]

Safe with my bedroom door shut, that is.

[@melanieknowles7002]

@@malaikavida you are im my prayers. God is bigger than the Narc and you are more worth to the Lord. Love and hugs.

[@shannonfox5720]

Dearest Dr Ramani, even if I haven't been healing from a narcissistic relationship..I'd still tune in every time the little bell rings! I can't resist commenting on the very important second part of the proverb; which is usually omitted; and I feel, really deserves mention. It not only removes the "snobby" aspect that can be inferred from the quote; but puts in perspective and packs the full punch of what happens when pearls are cast before the pigs. The entire proverb: "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to swine. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, AND TURN AND TEAR YOU TO PIECES." That last part goes way beyond inappreciation by the "swine"; which is bad enough..it really brings home, the full danger of what happens when you give your valuable self to the narcissist. They will tear you to pieces. Sincere thanks for your own great pearls of wisdom. Those "healing pearls" help everyone who listens to you, in putting those pieces back together and becoming whole again.

[@yourenough3]

Amen! Love yourself enough and know you're enough.

[@devidaughter7782]

yes, and to know that what we possess inside of ourselves is PRECIOUS, to be shared with discernment, and to not be 'squandered' on those who can only take...

[@GLesbihonest]

I did that for over 20 years. I gave the best of myself and support to those ungrateful folks. They then turned around when I needed help, threw it in my face as if it were nothing. Saying, "You didn't do anything for us. Whatever you gave us was just gifts. Nobody told you to help us (when actually they did)." They actually felt entitled to my time and resources. Whatever I do, I never ask for anything in return because that's who I am but to hear them throw it back in my face as such hurt me deeply. They're terrible beings.

[@angelajones5407]

I sense that you will learn strategies to protect yourself. You have friends on this channel.

[@shoopydoopy9388]

I've been no contact since new year. I framed it to them as "I need to take some time to myself for a while" and have fended off the attention demanding emails (I live overseas) with a reiteration of my boundaries. It was VERY hard initially, I had lots of guilt/gaslighting myself but the good days are honest to God better than any good day I thought I had before. For whatever reason, yesterday was a bad day. This video couldn't have come at a better time-- I often feel like you read minds somehow!! Good luck to everyone on his journey. It's not easy, it's not conventional, and it's definitely not socially acceptable. I like to think of us as pioneers! I feel like the world is taking this time to reflect on what's really important in this life as coronavirus has shown is nothing in this life is guaranteed. I'm so grateful I found the courage to step away. I know I will face challenges on birthdays, holidays, etc. as they'll try to drag me back in but I'm confident that I've gone through worse! Can't unsee what I've seen and can't pull the wool back over my eyes.

[@kristen1856]

Dr. Ramani = the ultimate triple threat: Kind, beautiful and so wise!🙏❤

[@ACLoukas]

Yessh! Super eye opening. Boundaries! Narcissists don’t like when you set any. But they can make you miserable with all their rigidity/no one or nothing will ever be good enough for the precious narcissist.

[@sherilynmalloy8138]

This is so my boss and coworker. An ungrateful boss that lies and favors his favorite employee.

[@birichinaxox9937]

Our whole society is based on doing this. Constantly put ourselves at others mercy to prove our selves and arbitrary judgements. Job interviews, dating, room sharing all popularity compertion. It is exhausting and finding kind ppl that give the same energy is so hard.

[@catherinedubrovna7756]

For me this proverb also is about protecting pureness and innocence. And of course the good things about oneself. It's sad when sharing your positivity and dreams makes you so happy personally but then you are just ignored or invalidated.

[@j.l.w9563]

This is very relevant to my grey rock stuff. I have often shared things with people and had these things ignored and used against me in gossip later on. At the moment I am reading a book on these areas, and I am not even explaining this stuff to good friends, because people don't like to hear about things that are insightful into them. Eventually it will lead to hopefully to just insightful comments with no larger label connected to.

[@steviep9780]

Your friends are unhealthy then, because mine have been all about insight and learning and do NOT gossip! The things you learn are for YOU. If your friends don't want to hear, that is fine. Sharing good news is nice, but not necessary. Find one friend you can truly lean on who wants to share your triumphs!

[@AppliedMathematician]

In a workspace with a narcissistic boss, you really should apply this proverb to your work results as well. Other companies have bosses too, who actually may not feel devalued or threatened by excellence of their staff. So hold your best back, safe your energy and leave, but do not forget to consult the law and/or a lawyer if necessary. In a free society narcissists can only be as successful as the people around them allow them to be.

[@erockfreedom6399]

Giving my best to a malignant narcissist, has brought at the worst in me. My time, my attention -- it's hard to live with the idea that I gave that away so freely (though in my mind, there was nothing transactional about it), and I was tortured, publicly humiliated, you name it. There is a great quote from Leonard Cohen: "I ache in the places I used to play"

[@a.hassan8922]

Thank you doc. After removal of the 'swine', everything starts smelling fresher in life plus you can save your pearls for someone who deserves it.

[@applesandoranges9916]

just a reminder, y’all are pearls!!!

[@MrDomWise]

I started no contact 3 weeks ago. It's hard, but every time I think of how much I miss her, I also think about how much she manipulated and abused me. DR RAMANI YOU MAKE ME FEEL VALUED, THANK YOU.

[@Canaday291]

I wasted precious years throwing my pearls before the swine of the contemptuous malevolent malignant narcissist alcoholic ex He never valued or appreciated my positive qualities but instead devalued invalidated Undermined and weaponized them against me

[@melanieknowles7002]

Me too. The anger and resentment stayed for a long time. Pray that you will be safe and restored to peace.

[@youtubeaccount-yr6hb]

My mom has gotten to the point in her older age that she sits and counts my words like a child and tells me the number to change the subject to avoid being accountable for her nastiness. It reminded me of this. Your words and efforts are valuable. Do not give them to someone that cannot appreciate them.

[@makaylahollywood3677]

This one fits like a glove. And, follow up with "never let anyone Steal your Joy".

[@monicap5924]

After many years of going back and forth with my sister, this video hit the point of my final decision to no longer waste my time or put my best self forward to someone who doesn’t appreciate nor wants to reciprocate the same. 🙏🏽

[@oleleewahjahlawze60]

The ultimate sacrificing to self destruct in the bid to please a swine who is delusional superiority? back up! Their smear campaign affect and damage lives when they're refuse entry in or exposed.I want to find a way to helping those as myself to rise above the muck the swine left.any ideas welcome.

[@tonyawilliams4053]

Love your make-up ~ You look so pretty- Thank you for all the wonderful information

[@MC-cg9xn]

This COMPLETELY describes my relationship with the narcissist. I made him homemade pasta for his birthday our first year together. Little did I know, he was cheating on me with 4 other women. I’m unfortunately still with him today, but I can feel myself and the relationship dwindling. I’m moving in August and will be physically gone.I’m in a very unhealthy situation and I pray this gets better. Thank you Dr. Ramani for everything! You are an angel who walks the Earth and we appreciate you and your work!

[@sstandingontherock9018]

So I was reading from the Bible and came across this one: when he speaketh fair , believe him not: for there are seven abomination in his heart. Bible truth! Thanks for your work and knowledge on this topic Dr. Ramani.

[@k.g.m.254]

If we all had learned this and practiced just this one thing, years ago, it would have saved us a LOT of grief, wasted time and resources.

[@krislynsoto9186]

Thank you so much this is further confirmation for me, I was literally throwing up all the time, and God told my spirit to stop throwing pearls amongst the swine and that not to go back because it’s like a dog going back to its throw up, also the day I finally left I felt the Holy Spirit tell me he’s not Capable of loving me. All these things have tremendous helped in, not just to walk away but to stay no contact and cope with the loss.

[@lmglmg5177]

Your videos always have the right timing. Thank you. I left a relationship with someone a few years ago that, to me, is THEE definition of narcissist. Before this person, I honestly never knew what narcissist looked like. Today, I can smell it. Co-parenting with this person is yet another challenge. It brings up a whole other world of concern regarding my kids and what they could learn from him. The tone, the disrespectful words, the energy that is felt when "you're not doing this right- what's wrong with you" etc. overall the rollercoaster routine is what makes it very difficult right now, - emotionally for my oldest. I know what those words feel like. I know what it feels like to try hard and wonder why it's not good enough for this person. I know what if feels like to have great times when things are good for this person and in the pits when they're not. I'm subscribed to other videos/about parenting with a narcissistic parent as well...I subscribed to your videos beause they give me that boost I need to keep moving forward. Your book "should I stay or should I go" helped me tremendously- thank you. It helped me identify/clarified so many things in order to gear up and move on with my decisions with more confidence. For me, and for my kids. Your words were as if I was in therapy with you. You know exactly who this person is. Every time I feel I need a boost, I come here and know I will find what I need to keep my grounded for myself, for my kids. Thank you !

[@joehutchinson24]

Dr. Ramani is spot on with this Biblical verse. I would like to ad that the second part of this verse is an even greater analogy of what a Narcissist does with the "sacred" love that the empath gives them. the Bible says don't give the narcissist our love and kindness because "if you do, they may trample them (our love) under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.This is exactly what narcissists do with our love, kindness they turn around and tear us to pieces, they will destroy you if you let them

[@freestang6662]

If someone truly loves you, they don't use your short comings to devalue you. Rather, they want to help you become the best version of yourself.

[@sarahwhitley6389]

Dr. Romani, you are beautiful. It's not the most important thing, but it's noteworthy. Absolutely lovely.

[@sarahwhitley6389]

***stinking auto spell check. Dr. Ramani.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

@@sarahwhitley6389 you are too cute 🌷🌹🌷, hope you are not with a narc 😈!

[@HealingElements]

You are so appreciated Dr Ramani. Your gifts spiritually and mentally on the physical plane....is so useful. Thank you ! All my love !

[@patrickbinford590]

Wisdom for "me" for when that happens with me and another, when they are not appreciating what I have to offer, and for the "other person" besides "me" for when they are casting pearls before me and I don't appreciate what they are offering. ❤️☮️

[@michelleiswriteg4132]

Now I am equipped the next narcissist that comes my way. REMEMBER MY WORTH detect it early! my pearls are for those healthy relationships I am now intentionally nurturing. So thankful! the teachings have expanded my mind, can't wait to purchase books by Dr Ramani

[@SquirlieMcSquirrel]

Narc parents and sister try to bully me into opening up to them. They are resentful that i hold back and dont tell them details about my life. They did it to themselves though. Im not going to show my true self, let them try to kill my soul and mock me for everything.

[@ildikof1606]

Your down-to-earthness and integrity is giving me life, Dr. Ramani. You have such a strong, validating presence without a hint of ego, which is remarkable. Thank you for all your work.

[@Robin19806]

Great teaching! I like this translation: Do not give what is precious to you-to those who will not appreciate it. This is true for narcissitic relationships or anyone in your life. This is very self-validating and self-nurturing. We realize our value. This has proven true in my life.

[@DrogoBaggins987]

Thank you. This is a good video. One of my favorite proverbs/cliche' is learn to follow your nose. I was a kid and that was on a tv show and I didn't understand it. I was trying to figure it out so like most kids I asked my mom about it. She didn't explain it she just got very angry. As if I had brought up something really nasty as being a good thing to learn and practice. When I got older and figured it out it became obvious why she got angry. People like my parents don't like it when others smell something off. Anyone else here have a similar experience?

[@flashlitestriker4028]

DoctorRamani, You just added THE MOST BEAUTIFUL "PICTURE" to that well-known proverb, into my heart, mind & soul! Thank you greatly! With the "pictures" of your words of explanation to this saying, I will never ever forget it, & the VALUE of living & moving, & having my being, that very way!

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Flashlite Stryker, Hope you are not with a narc 😈!!

[@flashlitestriker4028]

Actually, Oscar Williamson, NOW that you MENTION it, my "current" narc I HAVE "gone back to" is SMOKING CIGARETTES! That frickin "addiction" is JUST LIKE "my Narc"... & after 17 months OFF them, 2 weeks ago (thinkin I was "free & clear" from the Narcs (people) I've previously been "entangled" with, I went back to smoking, & am now realizing that "It" IS JUST LIKE A NARCISSIST! Ugh! Thanks for "triggering" that "realization" to me!

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

@@flashlitestriker4028 You are welcome my dearest 🌹🌷🌺🌺🌹.I'm Oscar Williamson from the States.You?

[@malaikavida]

It’s not harsh at all. On point! If someone’s going to behave selfishly… If the shoe fits.Ha ha pig in choker - excellent! BTW, please remember that It’s no use discussing these topics with someone who hasn’t gone through it or if they are in a toxic positivity place. I tried to talk with my friend who is in 12 step yesterday and he pooh-poohed this sort of humor, Saying that I was being negative. I said no, i’m actually a very positive person - humor is an excellent psychic shield. It’s the type of humor you develop when you work in the ER. When I advocated for domestic violence and rape survivors (at a hospital), a lot of people talked with this sort of humor. It’s whistling in the dark. Be careful of who you talk to about what. Not everyone will understand! Thank you Dr. Ramani, you have been a godsend to us.

[@ranger4779]

Amen.. we must protect our energy from Heaven. Thank you doctor♡

[@seabreeze8894]

You are truly a blessing, Dr. Ramani! Excellent explanation. Something/someone precious, when given to one who is unable to appreciate the value of the precious gift, will simply be trampled on and ground into the mud under the swine’s feet.

[@caffeineaddict8929]

Arrogant is the word you’re looking for.My golden sister is like that,miss BigShot who uses people including her brothers & sisters.She’s the next one I slay.When she used to clean house she’d dump her unusable crap on us instead of doing it herself than turns around and acts like a Savior.She’s also a gold digger had a marital affair with a mayor in the 80’s, she thinks we don’t know.Asked people what are they going to do with property and belongings after they pass on.My Golden sister talks over us.But we know her greediness and phoniness.We forbid her to see my grandkids, it’s up to my adult children if they want to engage with her.More like pigs with lipstick.

[@user-vn9sh6hv8r]

This is one i use often, and have been doing so for at least a year now! Specifically when going into meetings or appointments with narcissistic people in my life (before i even knew they were narcissistic). I worked out where i over-give or over-share things that are not appreciated or thrown back at me. I will even wear a pair of pearl earrings as a reminder to myself to hold myself in a space of self-preservation (i.e. hold fast my boundaries) in case they try to get stuff out of me for the purposes of devaluing and disregarding it/me. This resonates so much!! And also validates my own intuition on these situations also. Thank you! 🙏😊🌸

[@lovemagicandroad]

Right on!!! Thank you this is. Once again, you’re spot on. My Narc and I are over, finishing up the div now after 20 years of pointless marriage. I used up too many pearls, giving my best years of my youth and life to a Selfish Pig who did not reciprocate. Big waste of my resources. Well, at least I got out and still have some good years left. Yes Lynda, it’s TIME we gave up, that’s really the only thing we have on this planet and our short lives.

[@overcomer4060]

Absolutely love this one. So true. No contact for 6 months now and have so much peace; such an immediate load off. Not missing anything about him.

[@elizabethagnese5474]

IT BECOMES A BOTTOMLESS PIT OF BEING USED. THANK YOU FOR THIS DEEPLY MINDFUL UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT THE DYNAMICS OF CASTING PEARLS BEFORE SWINE. ONE IS NOT SEEN.

[@persistentapparartionkitty5830]

Prompted me to listen to March of the Pigs by Nine Inch Nails which I haven’t listened to in years so thank you for that. Great lecture as usual easy to understand and digest. Edit* Now listening to Piggy from Nine Inch Nails I almost forgot how good it is 😀

[@kamka8149]

"vessel to meet their needs, rather than a human being" - This is so strong and on point. Describes the narcs in my life perfectly.

[@lottielichtenberg6088]

Dr Ramani. You have changed my life in every way. I cannot thankyou enough for making all the chaos make sense.

[@mspah]

I wish my sister was still alive to hear Dr. Ramani. She "threw pearls before swine" and lost her life as a result. She was well aware of the saying, yet she dismissed it as snobby. She gave her patience, kindness, and devotion to the person who killed her. And he got away with it. Details at YogaDeath.com.

[@andreaharris9767]

I am sorry for your loss.

[@steviep9780]

I'm so sorry! I read the link. I've lived in Los Angeles (not Long Beach but I can imagine you got much the same result) and endured domestic violence. The police ALWAYS called it 'mutual' even though the narcissist was aggressing against them or fleeing and I was the injured party. After enough calls a detective was assigned... after she nearly killed me.