The Natural Hair Community Dragged Me | How do I feel 3 years later?

[@Sthuthukile]

One of the worst feelings is getting ready to go out and someone or maybe your parent says "Aren't you gonna do your hair?" and your hair IS done.

[@_osame8645]

It hurts honestly🥺

[@solarlola5953]

Ugh!! my mom is like that when she sees my natural hair “ you should smoothen your hair in the front” 😒 I get so made when she uses that word “ smoothen”

[@deionamariemuhammad628]

My mom used to do that to me alot over 5 years ago. It wasn't until I couldn't perm my hair anymore that she stopped telling me I needed a perm.

[@abisolahaircare]

This hurts a lot

[@mayamuturi]

Lol, y'all. I get trolled by my own parents, who birthed me and inherited me my hair characteristics. They say my hair is ugly, unprofessional, unkempt and so on and on if I wear it out. They (not) casually ask why I don't just straighten or braid or relax my hair. The only good black hair is tucked away, tamed hair. African parents are an old testament trial sometimes. But we still here, and we're resisting and we're recognizing and defining our beauty for ourselves. We're glorious. Our hair is a wonder of nature. There's nothing like us.

[@tare4898]

Hahahahahaha @ Old Testament trials.

[@britt6110]

This is my experience also. The anxiety around my hair is crippling

[@britt6110]

This is my experience also. The anxiety around my hair is crippling

[@Nijilove78]

I agree here. My stepdad told me my hair “wasn’t me” and I laughed at him. All he had seen of me before we met was pictures of me when I was relaxed in high school. I can’t get more me than the hair that grows out of my own head

[@gloriadangote1618]

Omg, that's so sad. From when i went natural i remember my mum alwayss encouraging me to wear my Afro out. Always telling me how beautiful it was even when i used to refuse as it was at an awkward length and shape after I "trimmed" it myself 💀 we need to do better for our next generation collectively. Stories as such make me so sad.

[@olyviajazzmyne7633]

Im not gonna drench my hair full of products to appease anyone!! Its the nature of the hair ! It can feel moisturised and still look course ! Im not gonna walk around with wet hair to impersonate a curl pattern ! Ur hair looks so healthy and beautiful!!

[@cfoster6804]

Thank you!

[@cfoster6804]

@@maame6768 Chill out...immature🙄

[@cfoster6804]

@My Opinion The style was just fine. If a looser curl pattern did the EXACT same thing everyone would praise it.

[@joliedame7299]

A thousand likes!!!!

[@cfoster6804]

@@maame6768 You're right me calling you immature doesn't make you so...your words do.

[@duazido]

A co-worker (Hispanic male) once asked me why my hair was so frizzy. I responded, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm Black." He never commented on my hair after that (not to me anyway). I simply let critics know that I don't need their approval.

[@Bunny-cf8ju]

Lol. That’ll learn him

[@cindychristian1700]

Perfect response!!

[@Got2BOshun]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@Giggles50]

Great response. Why does he care? Shouldn't he worry about his own. People always try to make you feel bad about your natural hair, its disgusting.

[@solarlola5953]

Excellent reply

[@Maki-00]

You probably have way more hair than all the people, who are talking sh*t! Your hair was beautiful in the video! People always talk about black women not having real hair, but when you DO have real hair, they still complain!

[@Ebizzill]

saying that you flaunt it too much and you need to humble yourself. WHAT KIND OF F*KERY IS THAT? This other girl yinka naturalista mentioned that in her video. My blood boiled.

[@Maki-00]

@@Ebizzill I just watched her video and subscribed! Only jealous people with no hair would criticize someone for being “too happy” about the length of their hair! My friend’s grandmother once criticized my long natural hair, even though she woke up every morning and put a fake ponytail in her hair!

[@ColaBling]

Can't please every one. The main thing she's still going and they didn't stop her from making her KZbin channel

[@indriadrayton1132]

@@Ebizzill you can have long hair and wear a scarf if you feel you want to be modest, even though God considers a woman's hair a crown of glory (1 Corinthians 11:15) because long hair is her covering. People make up stuff as they go along.

[@daffodil4500]

It's because they expect us to have 2 scoops of hair as the stereotype goes. so when we have 6 scoops of hair, they have nothing to laugh at so they look for problems😂😂

[@kglove2013]

This is definitely is something I can relate to. Being shamed by black women, and black men for wearing my type 4 hair out. Being told my hair looks unkempt, or I'm uglier for wearing it out. Even in salons people will comment "wow that's a lot of hair, you're going to straighten it right?", "Bless your hairdresser for dealing with all that (referring to my hair), I would never" says older woman.

[@indriadrayton1132]

kg love2013 Had some dude tell me ohhhh no!! when I came into this salon, as a joke, to ask if he could work with my hair. This was in the time of PAYPHONES so I'm going back. That place is for sale now.......

[@jennabunny7840]

I have a friend who is Korean Indian mixed, she has super thick remy style hair that is tailbone length, and Korean stylists hate her hair! They give her the same type of comments about having thick hair that needs to be straightened and no one wants to deal with it!

[@Cherell-ugc]

The black men are especially annoying because I see more and more of them growing their hair out. If you jealous just say that.

[@quasar4472]

Had the same experience with the salon. Instant red flag, i just walked out and not be bothered (dont want their hands in my hair)

[@Cherell-ugc]

@Hanassah Benja 💯

[@TheMrsB]

The people who had ugly things to say were envious because they don’t have hair as long, thick, healthy and beautiful as yours.

[@pinkbubbles2572]

💯💯💯

[@cfoster6804]

That's what I was thinking.

[@ultimategleelover1]

This is such a shallow take. I hate when people do this "they're just jealous they're not as pretty as you" thing.

[@alijahroane3890]

@@ultimategleelover1 actually it isn’t, some people are actually jealous and will find anything negative to say to make themselves feel better. It be the people who have insecurities that do this the most

[@runsprints4life767]

@@ultimategleelover1 two different things. People use the "they're just jealous cuz they aren't as pretty as you" line to deflect constructive criticism most of the time. People attacking her her hair for the way it looks is because of internal self hatred and possible jealousy.

[@micacam2684]

Black people have a lot of self hatred. Your hair is triggering and there’s some deep psychological discussions that need to be had about hair, esteem, and colonialism. Much love.

[@GladToBeNatural]

This is a yr ago but now there is discussion on Blue Ivy Carter's hair, and many people comparing this young girl to Kim and Kanye's daughter. I think at this point I am accepting reality for what it is and hopefully more are aware and accept differences

[@elongaabigail8636]

Rubbish I love myself.

[@i80748]

Agree not only colonialism but I think black /African people have some inherited self hate. If you go back to slavery, where Africans helped hunt down other Africans to sell to whites. There were only thought of the things they would get in return, weapons, goat, rice, chickens, money etc. They didn't think of things that lasted only to profit quickly. They didn't see a fellow dark skinned captured person as an equal, there was no empathy no love. BP have always had this mindset I think many BP dissociate to cope with their generational self hatred and their generational racism. The ongoing racisme and scapegoating the world puts BP through, is on some parts because BP do this to each other. And to themselves ! I wanted for it to stop but the loudest most media attention hungry BP spread their messages of hate. And that's what the world sees. And they will treat BP how BP treats themselves. And how whites have historically treated them. Which is less than and abused in every form. Captured, sabotaged invisible, despicable, a sx object, a garbage bag and the list goes on

[@karenavery1342]

Your maturity is refreshing. God bless your journey!

[@NaturallyHigh]

Thank you my love 🥰🥰🥰

[@Trinatime]

I am so fed up with some women who feel the need to share their opinion that is mostly ignorant. Let’s be clear! Laid edges and lace fronts apparently is the true beauty for most black women! I wear my hair how ever I feel! I don’t care about the rest; because most of the time they ain’t got edges. I said what I said!

[@karenealy1662]

Amen! Lights!

[@Coloneljgj]

I, too, see that some naturals who constantly "lay" their edges have very thin hair in those areas. I like my puffy edges and they add character to my hairstyles.

[@i80748]

True a wig will make you lose edges. It's fun for a few times but Those side combs lack of air and sunshine on your hair doesn't do you any good. BP should really take more time in investing in knowledge about their own hair. Instead of taking the easy way to everything. Easy fixes are easy loses

[@politereminder6284]

Wow! Very deep. I live in Uganda, and can confirm that you are right. Not all Africans are texturist in the strict sens of the word. . Most of us have that tightly coiled hair. Sometimes we just have very definite ideas of what "groomed hair" should look like. We want our hair plaited into the tidiest and straightest lines. We want it oiled till it shines, we want it combed , we want it tucked. My dad used to offer me money to get my hair plaited professionally because my preferred DIY look did not conform to his cultural tastes which included very elaborately coiled, nubian-style braiding. It wasn't texturism, but definite standards of Beauty, shaped by generations of Madi tradition.

[@eddimoi6655]

I am Nigerian (Igbo) and yes 100% agree with this. I too am natural and I get a lot of compliments from people about how healthy my hair is on a daily. Sadly, these compliments always come accompanied with 'you need to make your hair, stop being lazy'. Traditionally, ladies didn't wear their hair loose. The beauty standard had always been based on braided, twisted or treaded hair. but things are gradually changing. The younger generation have begun embracing ones hair being worn in it's natural state can also be a professional hairstyle and not necessarily mean the person being lazy.

[@oluwawamiri4769]

My colleagues: so when will you make you hair? Me: it is already made. End of story.

[@israeliana]

7:55 is real. West African beauty isn't shabby chic. We are intentional about our hair and history. That's why Black African hairstyles are cultural, that's a traditional practice. No one is out here with messy buns, that's not our beauty standard. It's pre colonial just like how Native Americans care deeply about their hair, so do Black Africans and the diaspora. You don't have to be chasing straight styles, but its more about adorning your crown [hair] with the time and care that royalty deserves.

[@LethalLemonLime]

they don't ask you when are you going to make your hair if you're wearing a straight weave or wig though...that's what people keep leaving out. now if you wore a 4c weave/wig...

[@TimeForTola]

I definitely agree with what you're saying. I'm Nigerian (Yoruba) and how you style your hair e.g. intricate braids and cornrows is beauty for us. It's less about the eurocentric straight hair and more about having the cool swirly braids and beads 😄 So if a nigerian hairdresser was to see your hair and want to fix it, it isn't self hatred, but rather they want your hair to look 'done'. They're very unlikely to recommend weaves or wigs, and more likely to recommend braiding styles

[@donnag9636]

Intresting! Did not know that

[@NaturallyHigh]

Thank you for sharing your perspective, Sis! I was most interested in what west African viewers would have to say. I’m also 49% Yoruba btw 🥰 It’s good to know this and lay it out this way. Of course, texturism does exist but there’s still space to prove further and ask questions. A (Senegalese) friend (with free form locs) and I were talking about this last night and they posed the question: “even if disdain for messy/loose and matted hair predates colonialism, does that mean we should have less of an issue with it?” It makes me wonder more about hierarchy in Yorubaland prior to colonialism and how defining a role hair would’ve played.

[@sabrinapitt1466]

Thoughts and ideas are always changing. It's good to challenge old ideas no matter where it is coming from. This can be done while still showing an appreciation of tradition

[@indriadrayton1132]

Tola Ilori That's cool, as long as your not getting put down for the hair that grows from your head like some people like to do. I like neatness for my 4c hair, so I understand. Even my fro must be neat. It's just them folk that start saying that they think your hair is ugly in it's natural state. That's the problem, and I won't let someone who thinks like that touch my hair.

[@illigirl768]

Beauty is found in other styles as well. If your hair was straight would they be saying that your hair is not 'done'? I doubt it. If it was nice and straight and long? Hmm...they'd be complimenting you.

[@angelofthehour777]

One time I was at work and a old Christian lady who was black told me that my hair needs to be done. My natural hair was twisted up and it was already done. I was going to drag her but the gag was she had a old white lady looking wig on looking crazy af. I just had to laugh🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@BilondaMusic]

It’s always the aunties with the burnt scalp and raggedy wigs telling you how you should style your hair, lol. Smh.

[@angelofthehour777]

@@BilondaMusic ikr🤣🤣🤣

[@matelsow6785]

Lol ! You're right the best thing to do is to laugh & smile ! Both of u are not living on the same planet and not in the same century... :))

[@quasar4472]

Lol! My manager at the time--- i needed my job...wish I could!🤣🤣🤣

[@cynthiascott8639]

😁😁😁

[@cockyretrospect4085]

Disheartening. I watched the other video with Mayowa a while ago and I'm reeling at the audacity of some people. I know you don't need me to like your hair, but I love it. I've always loved it from the moment I subscribed

[@masseiy]

I like the process of adorning myself and being “extra”. I usually style my clothing and natural hair to have complimentary “vibes” if that makes sense. Like you have a carefree artsy look that your hair communicates. I think it’s dope how we style Afro textured hair can reveal information about our lifestyles, personalities, etc. like our clothes do. Because our hair is capable of so much the options are endless.

[@teshamiller6001]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@sohniya7681]

Exactly. I don’t like the way she made it look like the age old traditions of the west Africans adorning their hair is inferior to the Way Europeans left their hair unadorned and plain. Like adornment is ugly or something.

[@terenarosa4790]

I'm into 50's fashion and sadly my hair doesn't seem to go with my look at all. 😭

[@kwill6948]

@@sohniya7681 I don't think she implied that though. All she did was note that the origin of carefree, freeform styling of hair can be traced to the Romantic ideal of beauty that was emerging at the time. It clearly juxtaposes with the deliberate, intricate origin of beauty in West Africa.

[@LethalLemonLime]

@@sohniya7681 except that that isn't true and Europeans historically did not leave their hair unadorned or plain but go off I guess

[@Herprettygarden]

YES! It’s amazing to hear this perspective. I’m mixed race. My father who is black is ALWAYS the one to tell me my hair looks unkempt messy etc. I have a very strong memory of him calling my hair “the rats nest” which was SOOO hurtful as he was literally one of the only people of African descent that I knew. Yet he was always the one to make me feel ashamed of my blackness. But now that my partner is Nigerian who also offers to “fix” my hair 😂😂 I am starting to come to the same realisations! I use to be so offended when he tells me I need to fix my hair. How about you fix your face! 😭😭😭😂 Thank you for your perspective sis🙏🏾❤

[@EspritsFantomes]

I’m french and I know the neighbourhood you’re talking about. It’s not really about your hair texture. As long as they see a woman they ask to fix her hair. You can go with new braids, Afro, straight hair or whatever yet they won’t stop trying to get you to get in their hair salon

[@khadidjatoundiaye37]

Been in that neighborhood and was "harassed" to get my hair done as well as my daughter's. Looking for customers at all cost.

[@LadyPinkster]

Honestly the natural hair community was supposed to be positive but like all communities there are good and bad opinions always in the mix. Sorry you had to deal with the negativity

[@NaturallyHigh]

Thanks for your warmth and tenderness. The “negativity” was a learning opportunity.

[@aredmckin6716]

@@NaturallyHigh just what I was thinking. Also a time for healing, there is so much negatively within our thinking and it happens so automatically and normally that people are not aware.

[@FineNaturalHairROCKS]

Such an excellent break down of the stuff us black woman have to deal with when it comes to our 4c hair. You’re absolutely amazing for posting this!

[@sumayabrown]

I think the popularity of wigs/weaves that allowed many 4c’s to wear other textures reconditioned & perhaps diminished/erased perceptions of what real 4c hair looks like.

[@sweetmango4190]

I live in France and I know MontMartre. Guys are tries to get client to hair salons. And yes if your hair is natural or if you've just bigchopped, they are going to approch you and ask you if you want your hair to be done. I agree with you 100%, a lot of black people have a hard time accepting natural hair and 4c hair especially.

[@laurainemaxime3628]

I wasn't consciously aware of the W. African standards of beauty before colonialism, but now that you mention it, it makes sense. I am also a proponent of freeform styling and honestly, do not think much on if and why someone wouldn't like my hair. My only real concern about my hair is its health. I've also been asked if I'd like my hair fixed or why I don't get it blown out as regularly as others think I should. Those reactions give me little pause because I just trust that my hair is healthiest when it is allowed to be, when I clean it regularly, and when I treat it gently.

[@NaturallyHigh]

Thank you for taking the time to leave this early comment. I like that I could introduce you to this alternative perspective on beauty. Of course, I only scratched the surface. Yaay for freeform styling! How have you been wearing it of late? You sound like kin! I hear you on wanting health over perfect styles. And yes, as far as your hair's strength is concerned, I don't know a better recipe than what you mention here.

[@coralscrafts7258]

@@NaturallyHigh my hair was a subject of gross miseducation from the point of colourism in my own family. But I rebelled against that view and sought to educate myself by researching the how and why black women had cared for their hair historically. So I have been free flowing natural for most if not of my adult life. Congratulations on coming to the free thinking positive black hair experience. I loved your approach and long may you enjoy every hair on your body. I am proud of you.

[@coralscrafts7258]

I would love you to do a video on the effect of the economics of natural hair. I have just found out that the natural hair community has dented the market economy of "the hair product suppliers" by a 1/4 of 15 billion market in the US. But what about us in the UK?

[@ak6046]

I personally think that the bulk of the comments from twitter verse are coming from a place of self hate and/or jealousy. I ADORE your "shabby chic" hair. I'm a bit of a lazy natural because I don't want to spend so much of my life just simply doing my hair and not living my life. Plus your hair texture is so beautiful and so thick/healthy. Please don't go anywhere. Let the trolls troll

[@texastee842]

Thank you for your wisdom! My biggest issue is that "other people" want to tell individuals what and how to "do" their hair.

[@NaturallyHigh]

You’re most welcome. Filming and sharing this was definitely different and out of my comfort zone. Your words are encouraging! I agree that that’s entirely unnecessary.

[@NaturallyHigh]

Hair-lo beauty, In case you didn't see it in the description box. In reading Emma Dabiri's book and learning more about how West African beauty ideals differ from European ones, I realised that there's something slightly European (albeit subversive and radical af) about the way I wear my hair. According to Emma, in the 1800s, the Romanticism movement shaped the kind of carefree natural effortless beauty ideal many of us still value today. African hairstyling, on the other hand, broadly speaking is not generally done with 'effortlessness' in mind. There's a Yoruba proverb that captures this: "A woman's plaited hair is her beauty". While I love and embrace my texture, I don't really mould it or style it in the traditional sense. For me, there are two main reasons for this. Firstly, I've learnt that through minimalistic handling, I'm able to retain length and this is something I want. Secondly, I love the carefree look and I use patience and gentleness with my hair as a way to practise being patient and gentle with myself. That said, my understanding is that from a West African perspective, beauty comes from the intricate styles that the hair can be moulded into, and not just how it looks on its own. It follows that on the multiple occasions (Black) people have criticised my hair for not being "done", they may well have been channeling an ideal that pre-dates colonialism. That's not to say texturism does not exist. Of course it does and it's frighteningly prevalent in our own natural hair community and throughout the African diaspora. I know that my aesthetic would be more readily accepted on a platform like Healthy Hair Journey if my texture were looser and my hair were shinier. They would definitely would not call it 'dry' when it was damp with leave-in in it. There's a double standard. This is also why it's subversive af to sport 4C hair, with the same laissez-faire attitude as someone with a looser texture, and take up all the space. It's still a reclamation of my texture. It's still valid... but so are perfectly coiffed hairstyles.

[@TititoDeBologay]

Great context. To add a little bit more, As You are British (!?) when parents and our kin who need to mind the business that pays them sometimes, come at You for the ways You choose to style your hair. It also comes from sheer ignorance of our hair quality, respectability and colonial influence. It’s a lot of deconstruction that needs to be done. While Ms. Dabiri book is indeed well documented, contextualised and great read. Back on the continent, You would still be shamed for wearing intricate traditional hair styles. Outside of traditional occasions. Bantu knots, locs,threaded and so many hairstyles. Men get shamed if They even so much as let the hair grow past an 2inches.

[@NaturallyHigh]

@@TititoDeBologay thank you for chiming in with this insight. It saddens me that traditional African styles are shamed on the continent. What styles are considered acceptable there?What can I do as a diasporan content creator to help? We've clearly got our work cut out for us!

[@TititoDeBologay]

@@NaturallyHigh To be honest, there are layers to it. Social statut, cultural, wealth age and gender. It would take a while to tell You what little I know and observed. After all its a continent We are talking about, even limiting to West Africa that's over 20 countries. But a consistency that I noticed It's the omnipresence of the white(&/or foreign) gaze that seems to move the needle as to when and how we decide to foster, transmit and nurture our own. I couldnt tell You how to go about It as a content creator. But I can drop You some references. #1 Nsibentum, on IG, is a French Born Congolese man, who is trying to get back to that ancestry while rooting it in minimalsm and modern life. He's very chill,always take time to interact and his english is good enough. I believe He's one of the few who insist on deconstructing beyond hair and finding what works for You. Judgement free. #2 I highly recommend the book: African Hairstyles by Esi Sagay. A brilliant compendium, of techniques and origins with illustrative pictures. I appreciate that book coz It doesnt have that european anthropologist approach to it. It's made with Love. Imo, that book should have been reedited and updated every 5 years to encompass all Black experience creativity, maybe one day. It's pricey and hard to find. But ask around I bet somebody's mom or nan has It. Ill try and find it in PDF to get You started. Voilà,Voilà.

[@ebonylilyofzion177]

So eye opening and humbling thank you both. This is a worldwide colonial issue with traditional hair styling especially with men wearing traditional long hair styles.

[@neoagegirlthemaverick7468]

I know this is a few weeks old but I really admire your approach to natural 4c hair (I have been using a lot of your methods and it is doing wonders for my hair) and to this issue in general. Looking outside of yourself and trying to see from others perspectives even if they shamelessly were being hurtful. But I agree with @Louverture. I am not from the continent but I am half African-American and Jamaican and I have also observed that even our fellow disporian and as well as people from the continent do not adhere by their own cultures original beauty standards. It’s kinda how you said that the black power movement in the US made wearing afros a good thing (albeit perfectly combed lol) but nowadays in the US if you rock a 70s Afro it’s not as “cool” it’s better to have the coils and curls type of “fro” that’s very styled with products. So basically my perspective is that we are all constantly people being sculpted based on our culture (modern interpretation) and as such even people from the “motherland” don’t follow their own traditions b/c it isn’t the current culture. But what is a consistent and common thread is the whiteness as an ideal in beauty standards across the world. And whether people want to admit it or not but you can “love” yourself and subconsciously hate yourself at the same time. So as we (black people) are trying to understand and love ourselves for who we are, we also are fighting internal battles with what our cultures are telling us is good and what is bad. And most cultures when it comes to beauty favor whiteness more, though may not really have self reflected as to why and just accept that is the way things should be or even assimilated purposely as a form of survival; even countries where majority of the population is dark skin. That is why Jamaicans have a skin bleaching problem. I agree with you, there is some romanticism in the natural hair movement and probably in the way you do your hair, I know I do but it is also true that realistically people who don’t like your hair, our hair in it’s true form aren’t harping back to non-white ideals since current cultures are very subversively influenced by it.

[@Tinablackberryrose]

I think Everything about our hair is ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL no matter what state it’s in. I always look at my own hair and think of my ancestors I don’t know if that’s strange or not, but as long as I can remember I’ve always thought of them and it makes me so proud and happy.

[@adebanjobukola2313]

I am Nigerian and often being bashed because of my afro hair.I was in a salon the stylist said my hair is too thick,some people said my hair is bad.I understand what you went through.

[@_osame8645]

Thick hair is healthy, I'm Nigerian too, luckily enough I mostly got good compliments for my thick hair the only complaint I got was that it takes time to braid.

[@takemycoints]

When I went to Nigeria and got my hair done in a salon, the hairstylists kept commenting on my hair saying it’s “difficult” it’s “bad” and that I need to relax it. They were very aggressive with my hair and they were speaking a lot of hatred into it while they were doing it. I understand that they have self-hate problems but I can’t go to another African hair salon again unless they specialise in treating natural hair. Never going through that again.

[@youaresociety4035]

What crazy stylist are you guys going to that has the liver to say that to you, I am Nigerian , living in Nigeria and you don't talk like that to someone who is paying you money, nowadays there are many natural hair only salons (most saloons take care of both) and before that there have been many roadside onidiris that catered to natural hair, Natural hair techniques while they lost popularity never died because there are whole religious sects in Islam and christainity that preach that you will go to hell if you alter your natural form by way of skin bleaching, hair relaxing and even piercing isn't acceptable... Even though I don't agree with some of their teachings but because of them we will always have an example of what a completely natural African beauty looks like, this really helps society to move between trends and opinions about beauty...

[@khadidjatoundiaye37]

I'm from Senegal, had the same experience when I went home, when visiting in Ivory Coast too, same thing happened , so I don't bother going to hair salons any where. If I need a trim, my husband does it.

[@amateurastronomer9752]

How insightful! I maintain my hair by wearing them predominantly in twists 95% of the time but I keep them very loose at the root so as not to thin my parts. As you can imagine my hair looks “undone” by Black societal standards (though it’s clean healthy and maintaining length). I had to come to terms that there was nothing wrong with wearing my hair like this and it was the healthiest and most efficient way personally for me to maintain my hair. What’s interesting is that my bf (who happens to be non black) saw nothing wrong with my hair and truly didn’t understand the dilemma same for other non black counterparts. I always wondered why and your explanation makes a lot of sense!

[@tsuronhema3235]

Oh this is an interesting opinion on this, I'm glad you're bringing it up as it's making me think a bit. For some context on my viewpoint, I'm not west African but am from central-southern Africa. I'm also a diasporan, having lived in Europe for the majority of my life. It's true for my ethnic group as well that hair styled in braids, threading or microlocks were common hairstyles if someone's hair was grown out. In most colonial photos of my ethnicity, the hair is usually short cut or in mabhanzi (African threading). But there are some photos that show freeform locks and 'unstyled' afros but these are usually of the first natives of southern Africa, Khoi or San people. I haven't found any evidence that indicates this, but I often speculate on how Bantu people who arrived to southern Africa treated the ethnic group's that were already present. During and post colonialism Khoi and San ethnic groups faced much dehumanisation from settlers and Bantu people, the last permit to hunt them in South Africa being issued out in 1936. I bring this all up because a frequent comment that I and other people from central-southern Africa who wear loose 4c hair or freeform locks hear is we look bushmen ( Khoi and San people). It's said in a derogatory manner, reflecting on how this ethnic group is viewed in our communities. Its for this reason that I think us wearing our hair more precisely styled, even pre colonialism doesn't negate the anti-blackness I perceive when black people negatively react to 4c hair 'unstyled'. I read it similarly to being referred to as a bushman, a comment sprouted from the dehumanisation. In honesty, I do judge the people making these comments especially today as we are not living in precolonial times so these viscerally negative reactions to 4c hair do nothing other than reinforce white supremacist adjacent beauty standards that dominate the natural hair community.

[@NaturallyHigh]

Omg omg omg I’m going to need a while to work through all the knowledge you dropped here but I wanted to thank you off the bat for sharing all this! ✨✨✨

[@luciaescobarz]

WOW. The part that you said that people who wear their 4c hair are being refered to as 'bushmen' hit ‘home’, it happens in my country Colombia as well. It is a little bit different, we would be refered to as Palenque, which are marroons, which are descendants of runaway slaves > And theytherefor hold on to a very strong spiritual bond with Africa and their ancestors which shows in their hairstyle, clothing etc. Many people in Colombia really look down on the palenqueros, but they are the bravest people in Colombia in my opinion.

[@britjj5126]

Yes from a Central African (not South Africa) perspective living in the diaspora as well I remember the comments back in the day about natural hair worn in its natural state or in locks revolving around looking like a mad person or indeed a bushman. I think there is an association of bushmen to being ignorant, simple and uneducated so there is a feeling of prejudice as opposed to ani blackness. That is in a city context so I wonder what the conversation about natural hair is in the rural/village setting is because even there women relax their hair, wear wigs and stay braiding their hair.

[@JahleeyahKalonji]

Wow, this is so awesome, when an original woman embraces her 9ether.....just know that your hair texture is beautiful in it's natural state. It's like looking at nature in all her beauty. Self acceptance for us when it comes to skin/hair etc.... is very powerful. It's a reversing of the mental enslavement, the programming done to us to hate our skin/hair. This single act of accepting/loving/embracing our unique hair textures has a powerful effect on our self image. You gain real life changing confidence, the type that's engrained. It's not the type that you put on and take off. It's permanent, it affects our thoughts/mindsets, our hearts/souls in the most positive way. I have locs and this was part of my experience, (it was spiritual for me)so I recognize it when I see/hear it. Keep your head up my sister and know that just by sharing this, you're breaking mental slavery chains when it comes to our self image/self acceptance.

[@teahgurl]

You’re hair type and look is why you were one of the first I followed on my second attempt of my natural hair journey. I guess I knew better! To look up to you for having such insight and knowledge of your natural crown that many of us even hair stylist have failed to learn. Knowing this is what 4C , 4B is supposed to look like. . . Keep being courageous and educating this miseducated world on what 4C and even 4B is! Unique, beautiful and unlike any other! ❣️

[@andriawastaken]

I am a subscriber to the idea of “natural beauty”, so to know that the desire to adorn yourself or change your appearance isn’t necessarily a result of colonialism is eye opening. While I still believe that the ways in which people choose to change their appearance still align more closely with European beauty standards, knowing that the act itself is not European actually brings me some hope. In general, I do believe we’re getting to a place where we have s choice of whether or not we want to “look natural” and the choice is all I really care about. No one should be bound by anything to look a certain way and the reality is no matter what we choose someone will have something negative to say. But thank you for sharing!

[@toomuchinformation]

Women (and men) have been adorning themselves for millennia; It's a natural human impulse.

[@fatimadiaby2201]

Thank you!

[@sumbdluvsme]

You are definitely correct, those comments were reflective of how they feel about their own hair. You were the first person to show me how to do loose twist, which I love and still do. People don't understand what they cannot comprehend. When their minds are conditioned to think we need to look one way, when in actuality our versatility makes us so unique and beautiful, but we want to stifle that within our own communities. Continue to be you sis, continue to grow, and I am so grateful that you are not a woman that allows people to define you. 🥰❤

[@blosstalks]

This is such an eye opener and it is very true. My family has the same reaction to when i leave my hair out theyre not a fan, its an extremely new phenomenon and challenges the beauty standard THEY are used to. I think we need to evolve as people too and normalise this was of expression

[@stephanie4337]

I find it weird to openly make negative comments about a person. Especially in person. I used to brush these types of comments off. Currently I exchange a negative comment for a negative comment 🙃. Ppl have to learn it is not okay 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@nicolenicole2085]

I am a West African/north African and yes this is true. We are taught to have our hair in one place, in braids etc. But as I've come to love my hair I could care less about plaiting my hair. Sorry mum😂 but I love my hair as is. Great information and thank you for your insight. Also your vocabulary is beautiful!!♥️

[@fatimadiaby2201]

It is better that you say YOU were taught because when you say "WE" it is a generalization and whether it could be the minority or majority or equally of North or West African or not Not every West or North African has grown up like this (with the concept of how specifically their hair should be done) .Might I add , this does not ONLY happen with AFRICANS IN GENERAL. I'm glad you love your hair, as you should sis!

[@_osame8645]

Braiding isn't bad tho, it's part of our culture

[@HayleyAlexis]

The natural hair community is one of the MOST TOXIC communities.. Not even the natural hair community... Afro-textured hair community- regardless if natural or not natural. The amount of hate towards people with hair that doesn't fit their "beauty standards" is crazy. Your hair is beautiful, healthy, long, and THRIVING....

[@HayleyAlexis]

and I looked up a lot of those peoples instagrams and..... 1) their hair is a hotmess...How are you going to tell someone their hair is dry and dull when you have 1/2 relaxer and 1/2 dry brittle afro with no edges and length to to top of your ear.... (from overusing chemicals and heat) 2) they are either from the USA/central/southern America which has a horrible problem with blackness in any form (hair included) and 3) they are uneducated in haircare... LORD have mercy

[@feliciadunn644]

Your hair is so gorgeous! People can be cruel and sometimes they don’t understand your journey. You can have your own journey and not be ashamed. God bless you!

[@maddalala1256]

Sis, your experience in Paris is normal! They approach black girls asking them 'Tu veux te coiffer?' meaning 'do you want to do your hair?'. They insist, even if your hair is already done because they are paid by the beauty salons. This is how they live...so do not feel bad, it happens to every black girls 😂🤗

[@joharidouglas3848]

Its the same here in Jamaica whenever I wear my natural hair out but I know that they are just trying to get customers. Im not offended by it.

[@nakia-nyc1820]

The same thing happened to me my first trip to Paris. 😢

[@ludivine8997]

Exactly, No effense they just need to be paid ahahahaa

[@thams4595]

I live in France. Maybe it was ''chateau d'eau'', ''barbes'' it's a district in Paris where you can find everything shop to afro hair styles. Hairstyles products and barber shop. It's their work. Now they approach white people too😅 for hair, nailpolish, etc

[@kamilleking4708]

I live in Trinidad and natural hair is frowned upon, unless you have what is called "good hair". I am ashamed to say that I have also bought into this as well. Now I have two daughters with type 4 hair and I had to educate myself, for their sake , so they would love and embrace their hair. It's so ingrain here, it's just so sad, that this is the world my girls are growing up in.

[@kamilleking4708]

@@dannibishop6017 exactly

[@dominnique2773]

Wow, I'm Trinidadian and don't have this experience. I have 4c hair and nobody cares because we're in the majority. Maybe the older generations were asses about it but these generations I grew up with do NOT care about others' hair, but most prefer their natural, healthy hair.

[@tropicaldisaster8135]

@@dominnique2773 Southern Trinidadian here and I'll say that I think the natural 4C hair stigma has receded over time. I myself do not have 4c hair (I'm a dougla mix so my hair texture is like 3b-3c) but I remember back in primary and secondary school (like 2005 to around 2015 or so) in south, "nappy" was always used as an insult. A girl with kinky/coily hair would be ridiculed if her hair wasn't slicked back with gel or relaxed/straightened when she came to school. Nowadays though it doesn't happen as badly as it did back then but there are still a few ignorant people. These days, natural hair is embraced a lot more and ironically, going to Jamaica for university helped me to appreciate my own natural hair much more than I used to because the family that I was around, typically relaxed their hair to avoid the hassle.

[@amabelasemota]

Why do people feel entitled to tell you what to do, how can you know my hair better than me!!! Please girl continue killing it, you have inspired me since 2016 and you are such a radiant and lovely woman

[@Certifedtl]

The natural hair community is stressful. Pick a side either we love natural hair or we don’t. It’s sad to see the amount of self-hate. 4c hair is beautiful!!🔥

[@conniepayne4425]

Thanks for this! You reminded me that body and hair makeup, styling, decoration etc. has always been important on the Continent. Listening to the nappy hair haters, I had forgotten that African beauty aesthetic did not begin with diasporic trauma. Thanks again!

[@zoeereid6799]

Love your hair, it's perfect! Your a great pioneer for those with 4c hair to appreciate it's beauty. Glad your not letting the haters & those who envy your hair bring you down.😊 💯

[@idfwy5255]

Your hair is gorgeous!I'm so sick of our own people hating and trying to "fix" our natural hair!

[@christineowori750]

Not fair at all. You are so sweet. You don't deserve it. Your hair is so beautiful, I loooooove the texture. Anyone who tries to dull your shine is jealous. Your hair is beautiful ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Doc_McStuffins]

Three years ago, I was smack in the middle of my own journey and had been enjoying your content by then for 2-3 years already. I looked up to you and had no idea that that sentiment wasn't widely shared. I'm sorry to hear that it wasn't. Your hair has always been goals for me. Girl, I've been trying to catch up for the last 5 years, but you keep moving the goal post! Haters gonna hate. Is what it is. All you can do is continue to stunt on em. In all seriousness, you've helped me, and others, lots. Thank you. Please keep up the good work. We appreciate you, sis. Hugs. Forget the others.

[@balletlol]

I've started wearing my hair in clumps thanks to the wonderful content on your channel - it's by far THE best way for me to wear my hair "out" without compromising my low manipulation routine. While I can't (and prefer not to due to lack of time and energy) get my hair *exactly* how you do yours, you've shown me - and plenty of other women - a different way of 4c hair maintenance. You keep doing exactly as you do.

[@Kodak718]

Very good video. Thank you for sharing. Im African and growing up, my parents would compliment me on how I looked when I dressed up. I'm not talking about makeup etc. Just effort outside of everyday casual wear. Of course it likely would have been beneficial to be complimented just as i was by them (but we learn as we go). So what you said really made sense to me. I like this idea because it means everyone can be beautiful vs some are left out because they weren't born a certain way. But I truly think modern day, there are definitely layers of texturism as the way beauty is seen has transformed post colonization.

[@CulturalBackgroundsStudyBible]

I've been watching your vids for a couple of yrs or so here and there. Love your total evolvement❤️‍🔥💟💟💟

[@spaceylacey83]

I know you aren't seeking validation but your hair is amazing. There's so much of it and it looks so soft! My daughter's best friend has hair like yours and she was expressing jealousy over my daughter's straight blonde hair literally yesterday. I'm going to send your channel to her mother so the kiddo can see how gorgeous this hair type can look.

[@AleSoosh]

Hey for the african part of Paris, chateau rouge, it was not because of your hair in particular: its where most black hairdressers are so they approch everybody who could be a client. Anybody who's hair is out, no matter the texture, mixed black etc ;) and its normal to have 4 or 5 guys working for different salons trying to convince you to make braids or anything because they are paid for each client they bring, they don't look at if its 3b or 4c, man or woman etc. if you have hair, they'll try ;)

[@SpiffyPenguin]

The thing that sticks with me is how a lot of the people commenting on your hair so negatively both had your hair texture and also watched/allowed light skinned and straighter haired people to devalue and disrespect it... The chick who said 4c hair feels like brillo??? I hate that this was done to you. I just washed and castor oiled my hair and smiled at what my 4c fro looks like in the unmanipulated state- I can't imagine hating it like that. Thank you speaking up and not letting that experience stop you. This will definitely help someone else struggling to deal with the way our hair type is treated.

[@hereforit2347]

In that hairstyle and that necklace, you look like an Ethiopian princess. 👸🏾 💜

[@LadyD491]

This is very refreshing. So many claim to be all about natural hair. But often try to force people into what they deem as acceptable. Thank you so much this video was very eye opening. 💕

[@saashet4177]

I just discovered your channel and I’m so enamored with the way you think. You’ve given me a new perspective and I respect your work. Beautiful inside and out! ❤

[@jenniesmythe8188]

I liked the direction of the video. I myslwf like to wash my hair once a week and style it. Thats how i keep it looking moisturized and shiny and how i retain length. Everyones hair is different. And everyones way of wearing it is different. What works for one may not work for others. I think when ppl say they dont like our hair we go straight to internalized self hate. I think you are correct it could be thatbthey just didnt like the style or were raised differently and believe beauty is in “kept” hair. To each their own. Personally i like my natural hair free of wigs braids twist and weaves. And do not blow dry or straighten often. I like my hair moisturized and moisturize it often as i think it looks best soft. But im not hear to knock anyone who wears and styles their hair when ifs dry. I also realize from growing my hir that the loner it grows the more stretched it is. The looser the hair pattern looks and the easier it is to moisturize and tend to. I also know the less you manipulate your hair the more itll grow. There are many women and men with “kept” hair in intrinsic styles who hair has breakage and does not grow. Ppl mask these styles as protective which they not always are. So do you ladies and gents. Your preference is your own !!

[@aminad9337]

Ho waouh this was a viewpoint I wasn't conscious about but makes sense to me. Actually as someone born and raised in Senegal west africa and from Fulani tribe i can confirm that wearing your hair effortlessly is sign of laxisme and lazyness. Hair always have to be "neat". Some years ago it was through very organized and time-consuming braids (smtimes it takes days), now under western influence hairstyles tends to be perm or wigs. Although Braids still remain a classical that is considered "done" hair and "beautiful" What you are doing is actually the revolution.

[@cynthiascott8639]

Girl, your hair is beautiful and strong and healthy and from God.

[@tinaloye2014]

I absolutely understand. The first time I saw your hair, I legit gasp and was so shocked cause it was so full and healthy and strong and like mine (mine is shorter and thinner). I instantly subscribed. The main difference was that you accepted your hair and I still haven’t. I still hate mine because I’m in too much pain. I’m very sensitive. I used to wonder if I was just going for the easy route cause of internalized issue but after so many years natural, I’ve realised it’s just the pain I can’t deal with. Those ppl have no clue how amazing you and your hair are. Swat the flies away darling.

[@indriadrayton1132]

Tina Loye when you mention pain. Is it your scalp when you comb your hair or when you simply touch it? It might be scalp damage, not because of your hair, but how your hair has been manipulated. I have a sensitive scalp but I noticed that if I pull too tight, comb, if I comb, too hard, my scalp stays tender to the touch in those areas. I massage those spots gently now when doing my hair. Let me know!

[@lovelyhope2664]

Many sisters don't embrace natural hair because of the pain they experience while combing natural hair. Why spend hours combing and trying to make our hair into something its not. Finger detangling is a game changer in a healthy natural hair journey. Pain free and a head full of hair.

[@GreenPantsAllDay]

@@lovelyhope2664 I didn't know finger detangling was ten times better than combs. Wash day now takes less than an hour!!

[@lovelyhope2664]

@@GreenPantsAllDay Glad u found out. Ever since i ditched those combs. My hair journey became less stressful.

[@nethaniapierre8149]

I have thin 4c hair too the upside about it, is that it takes less time to style but the downside is its see through so I don't really wear afros. I just keep my hair braided (whether it's weave like twist and braids or my own natural hair).

[@ladymusiclover]

Wow!! I'm often frustrated with my hair for not looking shiny (when moisturised) but this makes total sense that it doesn't have to shine!!!

[@fatimasaid1930]

I 'm living in paris,and I know the african part of the city. I had the same problem with people there because for them my hair need to be fix. I hearing my hair in minimaliste style. When my hair was short people used to say that it need to be fix, and now because it long, they ask more about my magical secret . I don't care if someone don't like it, it mine and I'm proud of it. Thanks for your video !

[@Ms.Francis]

So incredibly disappointing that there are such people with these types of complexes be allowed to spew such nonsense. Your hair is absolutely amazing only a fool would try to contest that. Keep growing and shining.

[@tunyamarieloftis4443]

I know you don't need me to love your hair, but I love your hair. I love your intellect, outlook and the educational value of your videos. You are very inspirational to millions, I'm sure. I am anew fan...

[@NaturallyHigh]

Wow, thank you!

[@hamptonlexie]

I love love that you research things. You are respecting everyone's opinions.

[@parkchimmy4438]

How can these people be so hateful !? I had to pause the video beacause I couldn't look at those comments anymore. I'm really sorry that this happened to you ! You are a beautiful well spoken young woman ! And your hair is soooo beautiful too ! Please don't ever pay attention to these types of people ! Most of the time it's just jealousy !

[@delorisbarnes9421]

I’ve been watching your videos for years and it never crossed my mind anyone would care how you styled YOUR hair. It’s your hair. People are concerned about the wrong things. Your videos and your voice are relaxing to me.

[@chapternatural284]

What a nuanced and sophisticated take on this. Thanks for sharing.

[@ms.miwitdatbul520]

Your hair is very nice thick, full and long. I wish I had hair like yours. And If someone doesn’t like your hair that’s their problem not yours.

[@binbin9196]

I use a similar method that you did or maybe still do. You look beautiful now and then. I don’t know why we have to hate ourselves so much. I do not have 4a, b, c hair. I do appreciate the variety of natural hair that is out there. You are so needed fir the natural hair community. Thank you for your videos.

[@fatimadiaby2201]

I just wanted to say that your hair is ABSOULTELY GORGEOUSSSSSS AND LOOKS VERY HEALTHYYYY AND YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE , BUT YOURSELF TO TELL YOU SO!!!!!

[@patb2582]

The french incident... They do it to anyone who doesn't have braids in. Fix your hair just means let me braid it for you. I used to wear my hair straight with clip ins (I was looking on point) and they still asked fo fix my hair. Also good point about the west african culture and braiding. Wearing our hair loose all the time is really a western thing.

[@miss15spicy]

You are so wise and knowledgeable. Thank you for enlightening us🌻❤

[@NaturallyHigh]

Thank you soooo much Sher Bear! I appreciate you. ✨

[@illustriousandnatural1003]

But wait. Am I the only one seeing the photos of my natural 4C hair fave's up on the wall???😭😭😍😍

[@TheMiss600]

Some of the comments will be driven by 1. Needing to make money, in the street 2. Intense envy, online. The haters could always go follow looser curled, gelled down, relaxed or wig wearing influencers rather waste their own time writing you negative comments but it helps them to feel better about you having something they desperately want for themselves

[@melinadistrict9428]

Omg! I heard this happen to another KZbinr w/ 4c hair! Not enough ppl speak abt this and I'm glad you are spreading awareness!

[@soup4dasoul253]

Girl, I love your hair. Been watching you for years!!! You and your hair are BEAUTIFUL!! You helped me grow out my hair to the middle of my back. Type 4 over here as well!! And our hair doesn't need any fixing.

[@nazikiwe8259]

Thanks for sharing this unique perspective. You're right that people are not always going to like your personal hair styling BUT your presence is much needed. I really appreciate seeing more and more kinky textures like yours in the public eye because it encourages me and gives me styling ideas, techniques and education on what may work for my own hair. It's sad that many of us need to learn our hair so late in life. Your hair is gorgeous by the way 🤩

[@imaxinebrown694]

I love your hair. It’s natural and frames your face perfectly.

[@CurlyCeeCee]

This is certainly an interesting perspective and I appreciate you sharing! I am going to check out the book you referenced. I do think that most comments do come from a place of textureism but certainly this is where some may come from. You have lovely hair but I agree that we should seek to be okay with our hair despite the opinions of others.

[@NaturallyHigh]

Thank you for holding space for this perspective. The book is well worth reading and/or listening to. I agree that what we observe in some of those comments is texturism (calling my hair “dry”’when it’s damp for example). It actually seems that in the NHC there’s a coming together of texturism AND the African idea of hair being “done”, leaving those with the kinkiest of textures needing to do the most to look palatable. Thank you for your kind words. My journey to love my hair was spurred on by the NHC. I’ve been really fortunate to get lots of support and also find and follow other 4C naturals. They’ve helped me feel “normal”. How’s your relationship with your hair?

[@shalizalacombe6330]

You and your long hair looks beautiful to me...doh worry what anyone says...they are EXTREMELY jealous...doh let anyone touch your hair...keep hold of your energy/hair always...Im Trinidadian Indian American btw & I love to listen to your hair science even though I do not quite understand my own hair😂...🌿🙏❤️🤲🙂🌿

[@PatriceDEvans]

I love how you love your hair. It’s so admirable. It fits your pleasant personality. You are just beautiful and your hair is so beautiful. I guess I wouldn’t choose the hairstyles and I’ve commented before that perhaps once in a while you could fully detangle and stretch based on a video where you asked for help and advice. Otherwise you seem to really know your hair and love it and it’s contagious and makes others love it. You’re beautiful and your hair is amazing. Have fun with it ! 🌺🌺🌺😊💕🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@kalloskreations1]

This video is just on point. When I started twisting my hair, leaving my afro out people etc kept on saying the same thing to me... A friend of mine had the same experience also... We both came to the conclusion that our hair was already "done" Thanks for sharing your experience

[@positiveprops9625]

I've watched many of your videos over the years. Whenever I've needed encouragement about my natural 4C hair I've often revisited your videos and it helped normalize, for me, my own texture. I have lived much in areas where it is mostly Caucasian and I worked in a professional center where a more "polished" look was appreciated, although it was never blatantly enforced. Actually I was the only black woman for several years to work in my building. When ever I started to feel awkward about wearing my natural hair in it's natural state, or other natural styles, your videos were among the ones that boistered my spirits and helped renew my confidence. I've never imagined that anyone would consider your hair to be anything other then beautiful and majestic in the supreme! Thank you for sharing this video! I'm glad that your experience led to growth. Sharing your experience further encourages me on my own journey to being authentically myself. God Bless Sister 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽.

[@thedestroyer9024]

I can't understand why anyone would ever comment such things. Your hair in that video is literally my hair goal.

[@chronicfatiguehermithiker3022]

By the way, I’m madly in love with your hair and love watching your experiments with it.

[@roarlexroar]

you are seriously stunning. I first watched your hair videos years ago and I found them SO refreshing. Your energy, personality, style, just know that there are so many of us who appreciate you and who have been positively influenced by you.

[@ShadesofSage]

I love that you made this video ❤️! Your hair is beautiful and so are you! Thanks for sharing 🥰!

[@sweetnessplanet2222]

May the Most High bless you and keep you and nourish you all of the days. You are beautiful inside and outside. And I am convinced to let me 4c thrive!❤️

[@camjamcam1]

You are refreshingly well-spoken. Thank-you for your candour.

[@DeiHarper9361]

I've been watching you since high school I think. Class of '12, finally grew my hair out in 2016, cut it last year and will be starting again. I love your content, hair and hair tips. Pay those people no attention.

[@maatdei8127]

Your hair is absolutely beautiful and I am hoping that I can grow my own hair to such lengths. Side bar, your approach to this subject is refreshing and healthy. Thank you for addressing this subject.

[@JusMeLah]

Those birds chirping are beautiful.

[@Tai-chan.]

Wow...people can be so cruel. Sigh, it's sad. I remember being told I was crazy for cutting my waist length relax hair and going natural and even though I had my reasons people went on and on about how crazy I was.

[@jok3st4]

This is my hair. I feel so validated right now. Thank you for sharing 💕💖💖💖💖

[@nikkithomas9857]

You are beautiful and very intelligent to boot. It's obvious you invested in education not in a bunch of useless hair care products. Thank you for sharing your experience .

[@happynappyable]

Your hair is beautiful. You are gorgeous, intelligent, mature and you love yourself which translates when you present yourself to the world .I’ve been following you for years and you’ve been repping 4c with pride on these social media streets. You’re inspiring to many of us who get the looks and have heard our community whisper these same internalized rhetoric and when I was younger I wished for a looser texture because of societal pressure but thankfully I’ve learned to love it .

[@malindarayallen]

Ugh, so complicated. Most of the negative responses to my hair have been from other American black people early in my journey. I think that the West African perspective is interesting and meaningful, but we need some space to find personal expression in our styling (again, a Western concept). I wonder if some of those women saw your hair as a fabulous canvas, because of the length, and wanted to do your hair for that reason as well. Lots of thoughts here...

[@fatimadiaby2201]

What a beautiful perspective. I love your P.O.V

[@malindarayallen]

@@fatimadiaby2201 Thank you! What a lonely thing to say! 💕

[@fatimadiaby2201]

@@malindarayallen Thank you , likewise :)

[@kmmaria]

Definitely found this viewpoint interesting. We are living in a time where people feel free to express their individualism, and that's great. Whilst there are styles of dress, makeup or hair etc that we may not ever foresee for ourselves, we have to accept that it may be perfect for someone else.