Home Taken Over by a Squatter w/ Heidi Russell | Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani

[@BeeBeeBell]

I heard a landlord tell a similar story. Squatters moved into his deceased mother's home. When law enforcement would not help him, he hired tough looking guys to move in on a written lease agreement and become tenants. They moved right in with the squatters and made the squatters very uncomfortable. The squatters left the next weekend. It was all legal since he was on title and had a post-dated lease agreement to his tough looking friends. You have to find a way to work around broken system.

[@tjtampa214]

@BeeBeeBell Heck yeah . . . great resolution when no one else is doing jack about it!

[@designerguy6257]

“They know the line to crawl up under to keep something from becoming criminal.” This part right here. Every narcissist I know is soo gifted at this.

[@susancalhoun2614]

“They know the line to crawl up under “ brilliantly descriptive.

[@vampoftrance]

Haha, yes, say to the cat, " I'll kill you" or "get out" constantly when now you know to hide the knife on the counter EVERY morning. They mean you, but " I was only talking to our cats" .

[@perfumetherapie]

I am gobsmacked by this story, but I am so glad you both shared it. I do hope that it means that more of us are aware of what narcs can do to upend our lives. My biggest piece of advice moving forward: write your story, publish it as a book, sell it to Hollywood so it turns into a huge film starring Julia Roberts as you, make the big bucks and never worry about where you will live ever again! I look forward to seeing “The Village Grifter” on the big screen! ❤❤🎉

[@victoriousjoy9338]

This story makes me want to scream!!!

[@WorkAna-b2q]

I feel for this woman. A grifter lived in my home for free for 9 months. She worked for the County Courts so she had connections with shady attorney's and judges. I don't believe she was lying about these government legal experts being on drugs and trading sex, alcohol and favors. She repeatedly filed civil and criminal charges against me while assaulting me and abusing my animals. When the courts wouldn't help me, I took matters into my own hands when I found her criminal record and old landlord. The courts almost convicted me of a crime and I had to pay into the crime victims fund. Despite the toll it took on my health and years of trauma recovery, I felt empowered because I was able to navigate through this with my own ingenuity and expose our court system. I chose not to expunge my criminal record because that is how this woman had evaded detection to the point of working for the legal system, her victims not only paid for her records to be expunged but their own. Now if she attacks anyone else, they can find her old records through me. The courts no longer harass me, I stood up to one of the most powerful courts in the nation in one of the wealthiest areas of the country. Government corruption is profound. Everyone should empower themselves to fight back. No one will have your back in this lifetime. Another lesson, I knew the second I saw her she was a psychopath. Pure evil emanating from her aura and I still gave her the key to my house. I no longer give a second chance to people. Don't allow others to choose your boundaries for you.

[@aprilwilcox5065]

I'm so glad I took the time to listen to this show... I'm leaving my narscissist husband and bought a house.... I have no employment and limited work history and considered taking in a room mate to help me make ends meet ..... After listening to this, I will never take anyone into my house... Even for a couple days

[@vampoftrance]

April, NPD only affects less than 1% of the population. If you do a background check or screen your tenant you will have success. No need to fear your advancement. I hope you change your mind and find a nice roommate.

[@WorkAna-b2q]

If you can't afford a home without renting, don't buy. It sounds cold hearted but banks and grifters will own you...sometimes freedom is worth more than a home. The US shouldn't be a place where people can't afford a roof over their heads but it is. And sometimes people choose to purchase a home because there are few viable alternatives. This leaves us open to grifters. But it also means that women who desperately need a home will have more trouble finding one. Oh the world we live in.

[@ladynataliemarie7780]

You need to take care of you first with leaving the npd. Contracts up front, security deposits, thorough history cks, traveling nurses are I hear dependable.

[@samme1024]

I was thinking the same thing. Nope. Safety first.

[@brynne77]

I"ve heard the same thing.@@ladynataliemarie7780

[@aprilwilcox5065]

Having listened to this story to the end I was enraged by the injustice and the whole situation made me sick to my stomach that this could have gotten this far... So sad

[@juliadplume3097]

During the pandemic I had a 2 different kooky landlords then a normal landlord but kooky roommates, when a friends old worn out condo opened up for cheapish rent I was overcome with joy! “Free at last” could have been my anthem! The pandemic truly amplified a lot of bad behavior as well limit available choices. It feels so wonderful not to have roommates. Just me and my little doggy.

[@jades3654]

I did not know that something like this could happen. I'm sorry for all this pain, but thank you for sharing this because I was none the wiser.

[@marianapalmer7228]

Not sure when this was recorded but the news reports that she was evicted in August 2022.

[@-cMc-]

This lady is a real trooper she really jumped through hoops to not escalate anything

[@TheFlyingKitchen]

This was the most heartbreaking story. I listened to it months ago and I’ve wondered how she’s doing often.

[@MzShonuff123]

They finally got the grifter out! Whether she’s been tried for stealing all that money from her ex and defrauding the hotels is what I’d like to know. She was supposed to be tried for that in September of 2022 and I can’t find anything online about it

[@andreaarias2085]

An evil situation almost like this happened to me. A year and five months of exploitation and gaslighting.

[@juliegiles334]

What an absolute nightmare! I am so sorry to hear this story. I had an experience with a "friend", and am eternally grateful I got her out of my home. It was awful, but nothing compared to your story.❤

[@starlingswallow]

Could the home owner have called CPS on this woman, anonymously? Ooof. This is horrific. 😢

[@Enlightened77777]

You NEVER let them know what you want like wanting to watch your tv. That they will double down and not let you. They are so vile.

[@camellia8625]

I had a person try this on me. I am autistic with mental health issues and the authorities would not help me (as I had let them in) and had to resort to getting a person with a organised crime background to help me throw them out. In the UK we call such taking over of a vulnerable person’s home cookooing. I hope the lady in the video can get her what is meant to be her safe space and sanctuary back. It would be good if a pro bono lawyer could take on the case.

[@transitionsnc]

Good for you for doing what you needed to do...I'm glad you have your home back.

[@camellia8625]

@@transitionsnc thank you so much Christina. It means a lot as it was incredibly stressful getting to the point where I was so frightened and angry and could see no other solution and then having to actually execute that solution. I am currently fighting to have myself officially recognised as a vulnerable person so the police and the local authority will have a legal duty to step up if something like that ever happens again.

[@transitionsnc]

@@camellia8625 Like I said, you were smart to do what you had to do. If you hadn't done that, you very may have been in this same situation as this woman in the podcast. All the best to you.

[@francesbernard2445]

Thank you so much for offering us here that valuable urban slang word "-cookooing." Wish I could some day put your name in print again crediting you as having helped me write a novel or whatever without me having to move over to the UK before doing so successfully so no one could guess about my background enough to find fault in me when getting angry about how instead I used a line from a common nursery rhyme in it without getting permission first from a real royal person there first.

[@MATTELunbound]

WOW-i am blown away ! I get it! My husband and I lived through much the same story some time back! It's so much like our own bad time it's eerie. THANK YOU FOR THIS STORY

[@daphenernorwood]

I went through this with my daughter. I kicked her out and she kicked my door in. It was A crazy tale. They use the children as tools for sure. Heidi is totally on point here.

[@parker.100]

I saw that she was finally evicted a few months after this podcast. Heidi, I hope you are feeling so safe and at peace now. You are very strong. I am dealing with a difficult roommate situation and this gives me some strength.

[@bee12355]

New York need to change their laws when it comes to renters, squatters. They will wait until one of these home owners kill one of these squatters. Everyone failed this poor woman.

[@MATTELunbound]

I'm from Oklahoma, and it's the same here. I agree! Change is needed!

[@dansasap]

I hate it when people say things like ''in hindsight I know I was sharing too much''... there is no such thing. With that type of person, anything and everything is too much. With anyone else, you would have been proud of yourself for taking a leap of faith and possibly starting a beautiful friendship. You just can't go through life with the idea that you should control everything you share. Don't stop sharing who you are, and being honest and open to other people. You do so much more good that way than you realise!

[@Emm325]

Wrong…being measured and cautious is the ONLY way to at least have some measure of influence and the chance to protect oneself…this lady had to learn the hard way, many are raised to be overly trusting and don’t realize how many dangerous and selfish people are out there, waiting to pounce on someone that they see will make an excellent victim. There’s a reason they look for those that won’t and don’t know how to fight back, and aside from NPD, there’s plenty of other cluster B dxs, substance abusers, etc. basically people that don’t give 2 anything’s about innocent people, so long as they can get what they want out of the situation. The only thing worse than going through a situation like this is to do it and have learned NOTHING, meaning that it will more than likely happen again. This lady admits that she was foolish in many ways, procrastinated regarding dealing with the situation, etc. Bad people are out there, and unless we all learn from past negative experiences, one better get used to misery. Let me know how the Pollyanna approach works for you, as it clearly didn’t work out for this lady.

[@juliadplume3097]

I shared as little as humanly possible while staying the range of generally normal socializing to avoid being distrustful with a covert narc roommate and I am glad because when she felt comfortable enough to start bullying and manipulating me she had much less to use against me had I been way more open.

[@barbarahawkins7864]

All of this is triggering me 😬😳 So AWFUL!! I’m praying for you & your friend. 🙏🏻

[@-cMc-]

Awareness is key 🔑

[@EveningTV]

This sounds like such a nightmare, especially during the pandemic. I have been on the other side of this being mistreated by landlord. Wish I knew what I could get away with! Kidding, I don't have it in me to live where I'm not welcome esp. with my kids.

[@annbell8748]

Isn’t this New York? I would be down at the Docks looking for some “Day Laborors.” Capice?

[@Ziaoe]

Thank you for acknowledging that we are living in a failed system. Homeless people are first and foremost - homeless people. We could enact a federal law that requires landlords to give tenants 90 days before eviction and no more. Requirements of more than one month of rent up front, in conjunction with a long list of excessive security deposits leads to homelessness. We need real public housing which is free or no more than 15 to 20% of a person's NET income. The government needs to govern. Section 8 tax payer subsidization of private landlords is just a form of political corruption. There are plenty of wealthy people who are criminals, drug addicts, alcoholics and mentally ill. They are not homeless. Homelessness is a cruel and uncivilized national problem. Mortgage holders who rent rooms or entire houses are just creating a bigger bubble. The bank owns the home. All tenants should be able to pay the bank directly... not a mortgage holder.

[@-cMc-]

Oh she wanted to stay closer to her other supply in the same neighborhood...it would have been great to know there was a criminal investigation against her. She used her maiden name so even a Google search would not show her record

[@elainesmith5313]

This was a WOW MOMENT!! I HAVE a neighbor who's husband died 6 yrs ago. Her Mom I'm tired her son my neighbors brother from NY and girlfriend to move here to help out his sister for, and I use the word lightly...AWHILE. Which has turned into over 6 yrs. They have taken over her entire home. So sad!!!! People just don't know????

[@ladynataliemarie7780]

Has she complained and spoken up for you know. Or do they overbear the situation. So sad.

[@MemeJustme-t8y]

The court system is a huge fail. Invalidating the victim the court system is a master at doing. I’m in a divorce and the judge lectures me for leaving with my son out of state while I have an active restraining order. The judge telling me she doesn’t like how I left. I didn’t like having cameras only installed inside my home, I didn’t like having my locks changed, I didn’t like when I unplugged the camera and my husband came home in 3:22. The court system makes you a victim when you want to be a survivor! In the meantime the judge is saying to me I don’t like what you did and how you rescued your 11 year old son. It’s soooo what… also, that I’m still being controlled now not by my husband but the court system has me back in the area I left for my safety. The very few people I’ve told my story all say things, “that can’t be happening” is also so invalidating. Making it hard to heal for son and for myself. We are in therapy and we are attending group meetings, but until I’m not a hostage here by the court system it is very hard to heal. Air hugs to her.

[@bereal6590]

Why can't bad landlords end up with the bad tenants! 3 years! How can someone have the gall to do that. Unbelievable. Yet there are so many liars and grifters in the world, just disgusting

[@007nadineL]

My dad wanted to get rid of squatters, one couple he paid their first and last month's rent on a new place he found for them. A 2nd time they dumped horse manure on the front lawn of a house.

[@melodysanquist4834]

What in the actual $&@%???

[@ark194]

I subletted from someone who was horrifically abusive and it ruined my life. $35k in debt.

[@kelb6073]

I get a little confused with these types of stories. Anytime I've rented, I have signed a lease. I was under the impression once a lease is up, a landlord can kick you out. So is the main problem here that the landlord wasn't in the state? I didn't think a person whose name wasn't on the lease had any rights to anything.

[@WorkAna-b2q]

Homelessness burdens the public support system and so do slumlords, there are laws to ensure that there is limited abuse of either party. It doesn't always work out. For instance I live in a renter friendly state and even then, you're only 2-3 months from homelesness if you lose your job or have a bad landlord, in other states, you may have weeks before a judge legally throws you out. Either way, I think homeowners have to be realistic about what it means to have precarious housing and no power but also know that they're earning equity while renters afford them their lifestyle however modest. And renters have to understand that the mass homeless crisis is only partially caused by homeowners who exploit poor renters to earn security. The biggest issue is why capitalism is so unfettered. We're blaming each other when the real demon is invisibalized.

[@juicyparsons]

Yeah I think the really short answer is that there housing/tenant law is really complex/convoluted and stories like this persist when folks don't know the ins and outs of housing law. (And who does ain't nobody got time to be a damn lawyer) The tenant was manipulative and might have known more about housing law than Heidi did. And it gets even trickier because the "landlord" lived WITH the tenant, a child is involved, AND there was an eviction moratorium because of the pandemic so even tighter restrictions on movement. I can imagine all KINDS of narcissistic abuse happened between lots of roommates/housemates/couples/families etc during the pandemic 😰

[@hollyisalwayshopeful2688]

Not so…but this varies very much by state!

[@brynne77]

What does 'invisibalized' mean?@@WorkAna-b2q

[@MystiqueHawkins]

Victimized by the very System she needed help from against the perpetrator grifter. Double Victimized

[@samme1024]

In a "just" world, grifters would be supplied housing without stealing others' peoples homes.

[@cabrown308]

I’m almost 12 minutes into this, and I’ve decided not to listen to the remainder. Because one of the things I hear, is a lack of a sense of responsibility from the person who rented out the place. I’m not saying everybody who gets taken in by a narcissist is self-serving. However, we have two women who can’t really afford the place. They’re living in who are manipulating situations to offset the costs thereby exposing themselves to just this kind of person. I’m really sorry this happened to them, but I’m gonna go now

[@Enlightened77777]

It’s so sick that the daughter is learning how to manipulate. Like the comment “ thank fox for the pandemic” so they could stay…gross

[@brynne77]

True. Very unfortunate.

[@elizabeth84266]

I must have missed what the resolve was??? Did she finally get her out of the house and did she have to pay her $25k to leave???

[@-cMc-]

Nightmare share

[@ladynataliemarie7780]

This is awful!

[@007nadineL]

What a story !!!! I would be suicidal. ...

[@davidmurphy619]

My neighbor stayed over till his gal calmed down ... Let the fun begin . First he was stacking up stolen cars in the driveway ...one porcshe from a mafia bosses kid ... Before it was over there were holes in the wall and a window ... Expensive bicycle missing then the weirdness of speed and a trip to the courthouse and an order of protection and occasionally I see him with the homeless crowd ... I have seen success though.. one guy quit and was on his way up. Took awhile but anymore it's hard to find anyone who hasn't gone over the edge ... We arent even reproducing so Joe brought in a bunch of new folks

[@maryellengodfrey]

Tell us the happy ending !

[@saraw112]

How old was the child?

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

What about the father?

[@-cMc-]

What were the red flags ..

[@tjtampa214]

First, there is No way that police, judges and lawyers (even doctors and educators) are unaware of antagonistic personalities and circumstances. Next... wth is the dog doing being left behind?? These situations are disasterous.

[@SamStone1964]

Recorded in July 2022. Published online 22 March 2023. It took you 8 months to edit???? You are gaslighting Heidi Russell big time.

[@erikavaleries]

It was published first as a podcast and released a while ago on Spotify etc. Jeez

[@chioma5633]

So silly 😹😹

[@barbaraschultz1442]

I have mixed feelings about this story and have a lot to say. First and foremost I don’t know any narcissists that are poor! It sounds like this woman with her child were in poverty after divorce and unfortunately the system, court system or other failed this mother and child. Children are NOT SHIELDS and renters issues are ADULT ISSUES! If you rent a room (not the rest of the house tv etc. might have been ok for a couple nights of AIRB&B but not for more time) you spell out the lease. CoOps are very expensive. There is too much I’m not hearing here. Too many single mothers live in poverty and are discriminated against in the legal system. This needs to change for single mothers!!!

[@brittneysperspective8433]

You don’t know any narcissist that are poor?!?😂 Covert narcissist are often poor and an failing version of grandiose narcs. They go through life living off of people and playing on peoples emotions and sympathy. My best friend is currently in a relationship with a broke, abusive, covert narc who won’t let work and blames her for all his failures. She was 9 months pregnant working THREE jobs to keep the bills paid while he played video games. Most narcs are broke, and/or only pretending to have money.

[@camellia8625]

She was spraying perfume in her face, she made a woman feel unsafe in her own home.

[@barbaraschultz1442]

The definition of narcissistic personality disorder, covert, malignant or other for me is so much more then a broke single mother with a child trying to do it all or somewhere in between like living with a woman and child (while navigating an Ex, court, legal system, meals (cooking), finances, hygiene (covid), work, child school, custody), in a co op that wasn’t clear on the boundaries of her leasing her bedroom. Nobody wants to live with roommates if they can afford not to. If one is an artist and another disabled, perhaps more attention should have been spelled out in her lease. Leasing laws are clear. Tolerance is what our country lacks. We discriminate and are quick to judge. Nobody needs to be employed by neurotic behaviors. These are two completely separate lives co-mingling. Did Heidi think this women and her daughter were going to live in (1) NY bedroom and not use her TV? Bathroom? Kitchen?

[@patriciabaez1012]

@@barbaraschultz1442 are you frisking crazy! You make no sense, you are probably a bad person like that woman

[@MzShonuff123]

I’ve known quite a few poor narcissists! They’re usually poor due to their own decisions and lack of work ethic (they don’t think they should have to work for anything, just like this grifter) and then blame their misfortunes on everyone else.

[@bookbeing]

Victim blaming is the worst! Hugs🫂. If a room mate doesn't pay her rent she should have to move out immediately when the rented room is in an owner occupied home.