Ncuti Gatwa coming out matters

Ncuti Gatwa has come out as queer in a way that I think is really worth further discussion.
The original article sourced for the quotes used can be found here: www.elle.com/uk/life-and-cult...
Thanks to ‪@WhoChaser‬ for reading the quotes.
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[@AMoniqueOcampo]

Can we just appreciate the following: 1) We officially have a queer doctor now. 2) He wasn't forced out of the closet like a handful of recent actors 3) Ncuti doesn't treat his sexuality like a big deal. Being queer should be normalized like this.

[@nigelstockley7011]

we don't have a queer doctor - thats an important distinction. Ncuti is an actor who is not box ticking and can play a role however it is written. The actor is queer. The Doctor is not.

[@tokublwhovian]

@@nigelstockley7011​​⁠The Doctor is technically queer - letting Jack kiss them in their 9th incarnation in The Parting of the Ways, 11 kissing Rory in Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, 2 and Jamie (which their actors admitted they played the characters like a married couple), 12 asking Psy in Time Heist to call them and recently Thasmin (call it queerbaiting, I’m just happy a majority have characters who represent them and they like)

[@Elwaves2925]

@@tokublwhovian I'd argue the Doctor is pan sexual, which may be covered by the term queer (I'm not overly familiar with exact definitions - there's a lot to outsiders 🙂) but it seems more accurate to me. They have the possibility to be attracted to all genders, races and species. Of course, these terms don't really exist for Gallifreyans, it's solely for us pudding brains to clarify people. 🙂

[@marocat4749]

@@nigelstockley7011 tennant and jack, he was fine with that,

[@Donnagata1409]

@@Elwaves2925 We're mere humans, after all.

[@gozerthegozarian9500]

Ncuti getting sweary and angry at that stupid "box-ticking" jibe was well justified and, yeah, as a refugee and a Black man in Scotland, he's probably been hearing that sort of crap all his life.

[@FistOfFiori]

He must have seen/heard the comment a lot. I also remember when he was announced, a right-wing journalist over here called Darren Grimes (who is at a right wing culture war channel called GB News) got nasty about it saying something like "a gay black man is Doctor Who, they couldhave got a trans one to really tick all the boxes", petty little culture war shit.

[@freakishuproar1168]

I'm looking forward to the lore gymnastics rightwing sci-fan fans will have to perform in order to justify how there can't be a queer black man as The Doctor, despite the fact that the character is a magical time-travelling alien who literally transforms into new people ;p @@FistOfFiori

[@marocat4749]

Yeah, its not ike he has the right vibe playing topay that pretty sfany aien who is fun and rock fashion. Te doctor had weird fashion and yeah he has the vibe, regardless whom he were attracted to.

[@BigWordsWriting]

@@FistOfFiori GB News is basically the National Front News Channel. The hard racism, homophobia, and xenophobia their presenters display are the least of the channel's problems, much the same with others of their ilk. The far right in the UK are already responsible for at least one murder, and yet they continue to pull the same crap while complaining of rising levels of violence.

[@gozerthegozarian9500]

I'll just point them to the Classic Who episode where Romana I regenerates into Romana II, trying out a few different bodies in the process, and modelling them for 4 to give his opinion, like she was trying on dresses in a shop and 4 was her more fashion-savy BFF.

[@Deathlygunn]

Completely agree that "A coming out doesn't have to be surprising to be meaningful", had an old colleague who was very clearly gay, anyone would realize after a single conversation with him, but he hadn't yet made that choice for himself and as far as he was aware no-one else knew, so when he eventually decided to come out it was just a really nice moment of knowing he was now happy in his own skin/choices and that he felt secure enough around us lot to be open about it.

[@Venemofthe888]

I think the biggest thing is that he chose when he was most comfortable to come out himself rather than being essentially forced out. Its honestly nice when you can do it yourself

[@FixTheWi-Fi]

that paragraph with "What are you going to do, tell the samem stories?" sounds like something a Classic era Doctor would have said.

[@TheGerkuman]

I could see the modern ones say it too, albeit in different ways. 12th and 9th would be bluntly angry, 10th and 13th would be disappointed and 11th, War and Renegade would be bitterly sarcastic.

[@wendyheatherwood]

Parts of it were definitely giving me Doctor speech if the Doctor was allowed to swear vibes.

[@blackphoenix77]

I'm so glad he's done this, and I felt his anger at the box ticking thing. Whenever I hear someone sarcastically say "What next, are they gonna cast an albino disabled bisexual person of color as the Doctor?", my response is WHY NOT? Do they honestly think that people from "marginalized" groups aren't capable of acting and are only cast as "diversity hires?" Some people need to grow up.

[@phoebegee54]

Yeah, hate the "making up a hypothetical marginalised person" thing. Like, you do know the person you're talking about is almost definitely real right ... Not a figment of your imagination.

[@Donnagata1409]

So right I wish I could like you a 1000 times.

[@firemermaid1980]

+

[@fabrisseterbrugghe8567]

Liz Carr would be a great Doctor, wheelchair and all.

[@Albinojackrussel]

I think it's more that the genuinely on some level think of that intersectionality doesn't exist. Like they think Disabled Queer POC don't exist.

[@dontbelasagne]

not to detract from how important Gatwa's words are, but I really appreciate how this goes against a really horrible and toxic trend happening recently in online spaces. especially spaces that are supposedly inclusive and queer-safe, where "fandoms" or online groups have been using language like queerbaiting, representation, and attempting to keep everything labelled to be invasive into the lives of real people. I understand wanting to find comfort in explicitly seeing your identities shared, and not being burned by companies or individuals who simply want to carry out pink capitalism. but simply put, we are not owed the ins and outs of someones private and personal life, we shouldn't expect an immediate answer from someone because it sets a very unhealthy precedent that goes against what queerness means. and sometimes, almost always, there isn't one solid answer to WHO a person is. queerness, transness, being fluid with your sexuality and gender is always an ongoing process. we should just celebrate being able to find fulfilment in creative expression and what joy can be ✨

[@Daelyah]

I apologize, would you be able to break this down a bit more? I think I might get what you're saying, but I'm having trouble processing this comment, atm. (Still waking up, not sure if I'd be bale to search this comment again soon, either...) 😅

[@xxlepusxx]

​@@Daelyah​In broad strokes, his coming out was good and on his own terms unlike what happened with Heartstopper actor who was the subject of debate, of a lot of online harassment, saying he was queerbaiting and the fandom (who ostensibly is queer) scrutinizing his life and eventually forced to come out. There's probably been other cases similar that I don't know about

[@christopherleodaniels7203]

His statement on “box ticking“ was perfectly pitched and necessary, encompassing a broad spectrum of actors and particularly “genre“ actors in recent franchises. The ‘fans’, and not just WHO fans, need that blast of fresh air.

[@DavidHHH99]

I think that the "box-ticking" narrative was created by white supremacists, misogynists and homophobes to fight back against diversity by minimizing the accomplishments and talents of anyone who isn't a straight, cis white male, by claiming that they ONLY got the job because of representation, not because of their talents or abilities or the work they've done to hone those. He has every right to lash out against this very deep personal insult.

[@CorwinFound]

I love the word queer. I identified as bi for 2 decades and never really felt like I was part of the LGBT+ community. Then a few years ago I came out as trans. And even with the negative connotations of "queer" that I grew up with, I latched onto the queer label very quickly. For me it beautifully encompassed both my bi-ness, my transness and how they interact. More than either bi or trans, I feel queer. Queer is the label for LGBT+ people who don't want or need other more specific labels. It's also it's own label. In my mind at least, it's the most LGBT+ of all the "labels". It represents a fluidity, an unspecificity, a rebellion of existence, and the epitome of "not cishet normative." I do understand people's issue with the word. I grew up in the 80's and it was a slur. And I do not believe that anyone should be required to use the word for themselves. But there are many, many people who whole heartedly embrace and love the word for themselves, and that _is_ valid.

[@phoebegee54]

This is maybe "problematic" but I also like that you can use it as an alternative to "human", as I feel like that communicates that there are still some who feel we aren't human. Like, I'm a queer, not a human. Sometimes that helps to heal from discrimination a bit.

[@CorwinFound]

@@phoebegee54 I don't use queer as a noun. Exclusively an adjective. "I am a queer trans dude." Or, "That costume is super queer." Calling someone _a_ queer starts to feel like calling some _a_ black. It feels objectifying even with neutral or potentially positive attributes. And yeah, getting into the weeds of grammar here. Lol

[@phoebegee54]

@@CorwinFound right! You do you! I didn't mean I would use it without consent, mostly only talking about using it for myself.

[@literaterose6731]

Very well put, and I identify strongly with what you describe. I’m older than you (in my 60s), and have been describing myself as queer for at least a couple decades now (uncomfortably used “bi” or “non-discriminatory” before that). Started clarifying my gender identity as genderqueer about a decade ago, and usually specify nb/trans masculine since coming out about it fully a few years ago, complete with name and pronoun changes. But queer is my favorite word, the one I feel most at home in. I feel like it encompasses everything, including my relationship anarchy. Here’s to we who are queer!

[@Daelyah]

Even as a millennial who grew up with hearing queer used as a slur, I started embracing the term a few years ago for myself, after acknowledging so many facets of my identity that are non-conforming. It's nice to repurpose a word that was once appropriated from meaning "strange and unusual" to vulgar hate against anyone not cishet/"normal." I still deal with hateful people, sometimes, including among my kin, though it's funny to watch when they go into full-denial mode and declare "you're not queer!" Like, hey, toxic and angry uncle who uses bullying as a means to enrich his sad and sorry life! You don't get to tell **me** how I view **myself,** because this is who I am and I'm not changing to please anyone else!

[@HudsonMedia]

Was about to reference the stuff about actors feeling forced to come out. I’m glad Ncuti Gatwa is out, if he’s happy about it. Which he seems to be. He’s such an incredible human being. Just love them. I love that he’s just being honest and that’s being accepted.

[@Elwaves2925]

He seems to b happy, which is the way it should be. Nobody should be forced to disclosed any kind of personal info they don't want to.

[@HudsonMedia]

@@Elwaves2925 couldn’t agree more!

[@ContextWrench]

No one OWES anyone their personal experiences OR medical/Disability history but its gratifying when they can choose to share

[@benw9949]

"You do not have to bare your soul to come out." -- Oh, how I wish I had understood this before, and how I wish it would soak in now. This is very needed advice that I hope soaks in for more people. Thanks, Vera.

[@therealpbristow]

This resonates. I'm remembering when someone I knew came out to family and friends. Being trusted with the information that he was dating guys now was... startling, humbling and uplifting, especially since he was of a generation of men that didn't share their feelings and inner lives at all readily with *anyone*. But the next sentence out of his mouth, which I think he said just to fill the stunned silence, and maybe because he just *assumed* that was the sort of thing you had to explain when coming out, had me thinking "OK, too much information, fella! I never needed to know that much about you and your late wife, so I don't need it now". I think he could have done with this piece of advice.

[@bakedpotato1717]

As a straight-passing, cis-passing gender-fluid ace, I cannot express my gratitude that a term like queer exists ❤ It’s so much easier to call myself queer than to have to explain how my asexuality and gender-fluidness do, in fact, exist even though you can’t see it Love your insight as usual! ❤

[@ookamiblade6318]

Same, I’m white passing to boot 😂. Queer to me is a way to emphasize my place in the LGTQIA+ community since I so often hear ‘A’ is for ally or Ace people aren’t LGBTQ, but any relationship involving me would not be heteronormative, yes, even a hetero oriented one and thus is queer. Also, from my experiences with race, you’re only passing until you’re suddenly not. And I’m only straight passing in so far as straight is the default so people assume regardless of relationship status.

[@FunctionallyLiteratePerson]

​​@@ookamiblade6318nooooo not the "A for ally" 😭😭 So sorry you have to deal with that (am another aspec person)

[@softfirecrow]

Same! Invisible/Silent queerness is still queerness. Speaking of representation, I'm glad to see a fellow genderfluid ace person🙌

[@TubezThe1]

Speaking as a black person, seeing this made me think two things. First, it made me think about when Tevin Campbell (Powerline from A Goofy Movie), came out as gay publicly. My initial thought was "I thought this was already public information", but then looking around online, it became very clear that this was only a surprise to you if you weren't black lol. But the second thing it made me think was that there is now going to be a black queer person playing one of the whitest characters ever created and I absolutely love it. I never got into Dr Who when I was younger cuz it just never played at my house, but my friends that showed me a few episodes in college and my partner had recently shown me the Van Gogh episode, and goddamn that story. Fuck, I'm gonna cry just thinking about it again. I'm happy Ncuti is living out loud and I love to see a black person get paid!

[@EmeralBookwise]

Queer is a term that I've largely come to embrace, and mostly because of its use on this channel. I appreciate it so much as a word to use while figuring myself out.

[@ThatElfTorunn]

OMG he is so Scottish in his quotes lol. So sweary and belligerent, as he has every right to be. Love him so much. As a fellow Scot, I can't wait to see him in my favourite show.

[@alanaspurling6469]

Respect. We need to extend respect to people and not make assumptions about who they are. There’s a path, a journey we travel. Along the journey just don’t assume. In my case, working in a business that involved dealing with national security information, I felt it was important to be as open and transparent as possible. I remember when people lost their careers due to hiding their personal identity.

[@alanaspurling6469]

The term used was being a “blackmail” risk…

[@Enkiaswad]

That anger at box ticking is so justified. Ncuti is an incredibly amazing character. His own background also highly adds to him being that. He is a great actor and brings new and very needed representation to people.

[@DavidHHH99]

It's a direct attack on him and his skills and talents and abilities. It implies that none of those things are why he got the job, just "representation."

[@TimothyCollins]

Thing is, "Queer" is about a correct word... I am not sure if I like it or not and I get why some people dislike the use of it (It does have a long history of being a slur). But the thing is... gender and sexual expression is a very broad spectrum. And I hate the idea of restricting that spectrum with specific terms. I mean, we are currently fighting for a broadening of gender terms - why must we still restrict this into pigeonholes? I would agree that maybe we need a slightly less charged term for it because - like I said - I get why some people object to it. But it strikes me as a decent way to express feelings in a more inclusive way than trying to solidify it into one specific term...

[@stevespain6445]

Queer does have a lengthy time as a slur; and in reclaiming, that also became a philosophy in Queer Theory, as well as identity, culture etc.

[@TimothyCollins]

@stevespain6445 totally agree and I support that. But also it just strikes me that the baggage makes the word more limiting than is needed is all. I don't know... I'm no sociopolitical linguist. I'm just a random aroqce person that doesn't really have a strong reaction against the word but also no strong attachment to it...

[@celia1888]

I think it's ironic personally, Gay has been used as a slur for way longer (also in more countries), yet no one seems to have a problem reclaiming it as a community (the rare times I've seen ppl ask for it not to be used on themselves they were often shut down, especially by ppl who didn't like the term 'queer'). A lot of the terms we use as a community are reclaimed or variations of reclaimed terms and honestly the fact that one of the rare term that's even remotely accurate and all encompassing is the one that get flack is a bit annoying. Ofc if someone asks for it not to be used for themselves it should be respected 'cause that's like basic respect and in this specific case it IS often linked to trauma and should be doubly respected but ppl who ask for it not to be used in general are more often than not either new/naive or very much hypocrites.

[@robynrox]

I totally get it. Being an out trans woman who does not pass as soon as I open my gob because of my bass-baritone, very masculine voice (which I happen to rather like), I prefer the label "human" which nobody can argue with, and it's just a word when all is said and done. I'm also happy to use the reclaimed word queer. There's a separate five-letter word beginning with S that I don't believe I will ever use in connection with myself, though - I can't even bring myself to type it in - because it's a name I was called so often as I was growing up. I love Ncuti Gatwa and the character Eric in the series you mention. Perhaps I should start watching Dr Who again; it might make the TV licence fee a worthwhile purchase! (As I live in the UK!)

[@fabrisseterbrugghe8567]

As a cis!woman with a deep voice (I've been mistaken for a man on the phone), all I can say is, "Preach, sister!"

[@literaterose6731]

Love me some deep voices, too! And enthusiastic applause for the rest of your comment 👏🏾👏🏽👏🏼

[@SirDidymusIsMyFavorite]

My 13-year-old is bisexual and non-binary. I just wanted to let you know, Vera, that YOU have been an inspiration to me. I am doing my best to support them as they come out, bit by bit, at their own pace. Thank you for being you, and sharing you're thoughts and heart with all of us.

[@phoebegee54]

Spent the video mildly wondering if there was a coming out other than as just queer but you're actually very right that we aren't owed, and don't need, any "more" than that.

[@DerBlaueRabe42]

I was queer for years, and did not know why exactly.

[@roolime]

Queer is a beautiful word that got co-opted for hate for a while, but it is mine to use if I want it, and some days I do. I can give all my labels but chances are that at least one of those I'll have to explain and give a lesson on when I meet someone new and I don't always have the energy or think the person warrants that much attention from me. I am queer and sometimes that's the only description I give. Some people will sometimes ask sexuality or gender and I love the look on their face when I just say yes. I am queer. They don't deserve more unless I decide they do. Some days I'll give them the whole run down about being aroace and agender, but if they likely don't have the language for at least one of those things I don't always want to give an explanation. Some people in the community then want to argue with me that I don't belong and sometimes you can spot that type before you hit that point and queer may make them unhappy too, but they cannot argue that queer is included. I'll keep using it when and if I want to because it is just as important to me as any other label I have.

[@tideoftime]

Totally agree about how his coming out has symbolic/representational meaning regardless of whether or not the general public had assumed he was >insert whatever facet of "queer" here< -- it was/is an important thing, and I'm glad that he wasn't "forced" out like some others have been before, particularly in recent times (like with Kit Connor, et al). Good for Ncuti.

[@mercurymorning1]

Great video! A small note - you gave Gatwa a very English voiceover here - it’s interesting because he has his own mix of Scottish/Rwandan accent. I wonder what he will use for the Doctor. The small snippet we’ve heard sounds like his natural accent to me.

[@Stephen_The_Waxing_Lyricist]

A phrase I love using is this: "In the Venn diagram of my business and your nose, there is no overlap"

[@salyx]

Ncuti is a joy to watch, he lights up the screen. I’m glad he’s doing things on his terms!

[@BookishGecko]

Ncuti is and will always be an icon and I’m proud to be in the community with both him and you, Vera. Thank you for being a beautiful light in the community. You’re loved too, so very much Vera 💜

[@EternalDensity]

I really appreciate the way you clearly separated Gatwa's intent that we don't see from the author's intent as presented in the wording and structure of the article.

[@SaintDharma32]

This is the most heartfelt Welcome To The Family speech I've had the pleasure of hearing. Thank you, Senpai.

[@MagicMartin666]

I'm delighted and will enjoy drinking the tears of neckbeards.

[@Donnagata1409]

Yum yum... Tasty

[@youareherediversity7321]

Thank you! For so many of us it takes a long time to define ourselves and I was so pleased when people started using the word queer as an umbrella term it made me feel so much more comfortable and that I was not a fraud as a person in a relationship that looked heterosexual to outsiders (she has come out as trans over the past year)

[@billysmith1873]

Really liked this video. Helped me get my head around a few things. Thank you.

[@ColzoArt]

Really excited to see how he plays the role. Representation absolutely matters!! Also I love this - “I’m not that and that’s enough” YES!

[@bakasta5992]

Ncuti is kenough

[@MDaggatt]

This interview makes me feel so happy and hopeful about the future. I think Ncuti Gatwa is a perfect representation of where I hope we'll all be in a few decades. When the current disruptions related to gender, gender expression, and sexuality finally settle down and we're able to focus less on the exact little boxes we all fit in and just exist as people, no pressure to share every little detail about our lives to justify why we are allowed to slightly break a few rules in an acceptable way. It makes me think of the future that Captain Jack from Doctor Who lives in as well, where he didn't even hesitate to kiss both Rose and the Doctor goodbye. I think of all the ways society has changed since my dad was born in 1955 and I can't wait to see the world we'll create by the time I'm his age. I hope by then, Gatwa will simply be seen as the norm.

[@SpecialInterestShow]

Holy shit his rant about "box ticking" is something I'm so happy to see. Seeing someone speak out about that bullshit, hell, even get angry about it! None of those stupid respectability politics! It's time we called the bullshit what it was and I'm glad an actor is putting their fucking foot down on this shit

[@charlieinthefog]

Ahhh Vera I was about to grab a book and read before going to bed and you just had to throw at me a very interesting topic so that I procrastinate it. Well, you got me this time!

[@Brunoxsa]

Thank you for the video, Vera! It is okay to use labels to question and try to find ourselves, but we need to stop of using them as rules for how to be queer. People are not meant to "fit in boxes". It is definitely important we fight and advocate for respect and equal rights in society, but the point of the queer community is the acceptance of non-conformative people. If someone is not acting in bad faith, they can choose how to explore and build their personal identity inside the community. 0:46-1:00 I am -not- sorry for that. LOL 21:14:-21:32 By the way, Vera, the extra energy during your farewell message (preceding the Patreon's credits) really made my day! Thank you again!

[@apeirocell]

wow. i love this video so much. both what you said and what gatwa have said are just so important and impactful to me. thank you for making this. you were so right when saying gatwa's word are special - but so are yours. thanks

[@superkid801]

I'm very happy for him, this was great to hear and discuss about this. As someone still figuring himself out, this was great to hear! Representation matters! Very proud of him!

[@Daelyah]

"Real confidence is something I have to work on daily." This shouldn't hit as hard as it does, but even as someone accepting queer as a label for themself, it genuinely feels more taxing than a chore when trying to accept my body, or trying to interact with new people. And I get that feeling of imposter syndrome. It's almost suffocating, on some days, when feeling so out of place in the world; it forces more introspection, and having to ground myself further with what I feel makes sense.

[@jmpjjacobs4829]

You're Videos are very encouraging, Vera. I have been struggling somewhat lately with my identity (just with myself, I am lucky enough to have very supportive friends and Surroundings), and to hear you talk about that article with Gatwa actually made me choke up on several occasions. You're Videos help us more than you think, and I think it beautiful how you manage to balance this (+sometimes politics) and your passion of geek culture. Keep up the good work! 💙🤗

[@Donnagata1409]

All of that is true

[@jwcstedman]

Thank you, Vera. That whole piece, especially the end made me very emotional. When you get wrapped up in your own personal stuff, I find it is sometimes easy to forget quite what a joy to be part of the queer community. That welcome that you did just felt so emblematic of that and although it was obviously specifically directed at Ncuti Gatwa, it felt like it embraced us all. Thank you ❤

[@winonabailey-gibson2130]

Yesterday I came out to my family and friends I know that at 22 that is quite late but I’m so happy that I have done it 🥰

[@ItsMeHarry]

Ncuti's outburst on "box ticking" feels so close to many outbursts I've had in arguments with less tolerant family members who insist any casting choice that isn't cishet white men is box ticking...genuinely infuriating and that's just from the sidelines as a queer person. I adore Ncuti and hope he is doing okay with the onslaught of bullshit people said about his casting

[@catdragon2584]

I love him in Sex Education, and I’m beyond thrilled he’s getting more recognition for his talent

[@cmmosher8035]

I haven't watched it yet but after Gatwa's Dr Who casting and finding out Gillian Anderson is in it I have been course to check out Sex Ed.

[@keelanbarron928]

To be honest, it's kind of sad that it does matter since that ultimately proves that it's not normalized yet. (since it coming out was normalized, no one would care and it would be a normal thing like talking about the weather.) sorry if I'm sounding like a downer. Its great that he came out, but the fact that it does matter is kind of sad.

[@CorwinFound]

It's definitely a mixed bag. In some perfect world coming out wouldn't matter. But this is a far from perfect world and representation matters. As does appropriate, consensual, and non-dramatized coming out narratives. (By "non-dramatized" I mean narratives that don't focus on the trauma of being queer or how brave you are for existing. That stuff drives me bonkers when it's an interviewer or story teller focusing on that. Queer people telling their own stories can tell them however they wish.)

[@russwho1]

Ncuti Gatwa... Queer. And you don't think he will see your video? I guarantee you that he will and I hope he does! Cisgender old man here. I love your content and am thrilled for your community!

[@sworddragonsliege]

I think queer is a great word. And like using it for myself. Not in an "I don't know yet kinda way", but in a genuine identity kind of way.

[@christianmccauley7340]

Yeah. I kinda use it that way too

[@faeriegraver]

One of my best friends used to be the manager at a private member's club and restaurant, over a decade ago, that was frequented by all sorts of public figures. NDAs had to be signed, so the guests didn't have to worry about their private lives being shared publicly. There was a couple who were in a same sex relationship who went for regular dates there. One of them has never "come out" publicly. But I have come across discussion of their sexuality. I can imagine how intrusive that would feel. Especially if you have a fluid identity, or if you haven't come to a concrete conclusion about your sexuality or gender identity. But even more than that, a public figure has a private life, and they can chose to share these details, or they can chose to withhold them. It could feel good to keep something completely private when there are people out there speculating about it. Really loved this video.

[@adammyers7383]

Fantastic breakdown Vera, thank you

[@emcrolls]

Representation is vital. Identity is important. "Coming out" is oddly intimate for many. Glad Gatwa had the time to decide what & when he wanted to share

[@ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023]

FYI: There was an ad break just before 5 minutes into this video, in the middle of a sentence. (I am pointing this out because you have previously talked about how KZbin is going even more rogue lately with automatic ad placements) Best of luck with protecting your videos' rhythm and viewer experience! You have thus far been able to place ads surprisingly unobtrusively. Keeping my fingers crossed that YT won't manage to torpedo that part of your art & craft. ❤ (heart)

[@ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023]

Next one at 9:14, in a somewhat logical place (switch from you talking to an interview quote)

[@CouncilofGeeks]

I’ll look into that.

[@Sentientmatter8]

I missed this!!! I never assumed he was queer, I suspected it based on how he portrayed himself, but I NEVER assumed it.

[@FistOfFiori]

I can only speak for the UK, and also I'm a Cis-Het white guy so no authority on the matter, but when I was growing up in the late 80s/90s/early 00s, the word Queer was a slur big time over here. A word that was used against even myself as homophobic abuse too for being friends/allies with gay/bi folk, and it was always said to people with venom. A few years ago I was surprised to see people using it a lot talking about themselves then I learned about the word 'genderqueer' as an alternative to non-binary/gender-fluid etc, but also it seemed to be reclaimed as an umbrella term for LGBTQIA+ people, even empowering at times it seems, which I'm glad to see. I can understand why it's still a sensitive word to hear for some though, it still holds heavy weight for anyone Millennial and older. On a less serious note, yay at @whochaser doing the quote narrations. Dominic is a great light in the Who fandom!

[@phoebegee54]

I'm a millennial and I never heard it as a slur, it was mostly only "gay". I knew of it but never heard it used in person.

[@CouncilofGeeks]

In my experience whether "queer" or "gay" were used as the go-to slur is not only generational but regional. Where I grew up I heard the former pretty rarely and the latter pretty frequently.

[@phoebegee54]

​@@CouncilofGeeksthat explains things. There must be studies on it.

[@mxucjf]

Great video Vera 👏👏 I skimmed through some of the replies to sense check, and noticed a couple mentioned the same experiences of growing up in the UK in 80s/90s as me, and the term queer definitely had negative connotations at school/society, subjected to homophobia with terms like gay/queer,poof etc. So I’ve been on a bit of a journey with the term queer as it does brings back memories of hurt, so having preferred LGBTQ+ I see societal shifts are happening in the UK. I was at Leicester Pride last weekend and observed the younger generations proudly owning the term queer ☺️🥰 Final point: your explanation around the 14-15 min mark about the term Queer was perfect 👌 keep up the great work! 🙌

[@sezzac155]

I’m a Millennial and I haven’t witnessed queer being used as a slur either. It was always gay to me. I grew up learning that queer was a slur for those who were older than me (those in their late 30s and older). And was well on its way to being reclaimed and normalised with successful shows such as Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Then again I didn’t realise that I wasn’t straight as this all happened, I was on the outside looking in. So I probably missed the larger picture and deeper discussions during the 90s/00s.

[@tacobowler]

This is an excellent video on the topic. Great breakdown of the news

[@ieashaluv]

You said so many great things in this video. I identify as "queer" for many of the reasons you explained (or maybe "bi" or "pan"; I love good people and find a wide variety of them very sexy) ... but I guess I'm not technically "out". I don't think anyone who knows me would be surprised -- I'm not exactly secretive. Everyone else will doubt because I've only really been in long-term, hetero-appearing relationships. (Also, am I an imposter? Does queer attraction even *count* as queer when most people have only ever seen you with mascs?) Anyway, after this video, I'm thinking maybe it's time to come out... My partner supports the idea in the interest of representation and setting a good example for all my nieces and nephews. Plus, it don't bother him none. Well, thanks, Vera. I think you helped me figure out some of my bullshit. I'm gonna go ruminate on what coming out of the closet truly means, why it's worth it, and how to do it.

[@mk-aka-morgan8386]

It’s so nice hearing people talk about their experiences being queer and labeling

[@supremeoverlorde2109]

Mad respect for Ncuti. That was a great interview.

[@lauraschiltz8074]

I've never understood why it matters. Unless I want to have an interaction with a person their preference doesn't matter. Assuming all parties are adults, consenting, and competent to give consent. I make that last stipulation because I have family who no matter how old they become will never have the mental capacity to make such decisions.

[@Donnagata1409]

It should not matter... But it does.

[@peabeanmilk]

absolutely loved this video. i love you, i love ncuti gatwa, i love queer people. we are the only person who needs to know the details of ourselves.

[@omnichrome9784]

I like using queer because, even though my gender identify is pretty straight forward; it's complicated to explain and my way of being "not straight" is complex. I will say I am non-binary, about my gender, but there is a lot more complexity in my "sexual orientation", so queer is much easier then explaining all the details (I could just say I am bi, but I don't really identify with the label but other labels are not well know and they are mutiple...etc).

[@emilyrln]

Amen to everything you said, Vera!

[@Shamazya]

Great video!

[@fabrisseterbrugghe8567]

Wentworth Miller is another whose coming out wasn't necessarily surprising, but was very important. I hate people outing anyone who isn't ready to be publicly out.

[@randomgeekcrap]

what an ICON

[@arin2747]

Loved this video and Ncuti Gatwa! In some ways I'm in a very similar situation, I present myself in a way that makes people assume that I'm queer, and I am queer, but I don't like to say anything/label myself in most situations. I really hate the concept of gaydar, especially straight people claiming to have gaydar, but also, I hate coming out so people assuming things that probably aren't wrong works for me, personally.

[@SailorDisco]

It’s lovely to see other queer people publicly giving space and validation for those who are still figuring out who they are. You are a breath of fresh air and a light for other queer people. Thank you for everything you do 💜

[@lucypreece7581]

I like when people treat their sexuality in this way. I myself am a very private person. I barely post about my life on social media and stuff like that so when it comes to relationships I keep everything guarded. yes I am out to a small handful of trusted close people. my dad, my step mum, my brother and a small group of friends but the rest of the world doesn't need to know. It's not their business to know. When it comes to the rest of my family cus I have a biggish family one day I am gonna just turn up with a girlfriend and make them do the work. My sexuality is not all I am and it doesn't define me but it is still important to me so I control the narrative and how it is told to the world. To me it's like the 15th most interesting thing about me. Fandoms can be toxic and people can but who cares. As long as you are comfortable in your own sense of self and the people who matter most to you love you for who you are then that's all that matters and Ncuti Gatwa deffo fully radiates the energy of someone who is 1000% comfortable in their own sense of self and doesn't give two craps about other peoples opinions and for that I respect him him even more than I already did.

[@lasciamidasolo]

good for him. can't wait to see his take on the doctor

[@unseenmolee]

i really vibe with this, i try to avoid labels too, but i do use them for convince. its something i should think harder abt tho, like if i dont really feel "gay" why should i say i am... i dont want to dilute who i am just to be more palatable to other ppl, but im also scared of meeting the wrong person yk

[@DavRossTheWhovian]

I've always kind of known but I just didn't feel like had to assume but you know what if he feels that he wants to come out and then good for him doesn't change my thoughts and opinions on him I look forward to what he's got to bring to the show that we don't need to mention here as you stated.

[@purpleraider8105]

I want Gatwa to see this

[@moonflowergal]

Welcome to the Community, Ncuti! 🌈❤️🌈

[@danielcrafter9349]

All these people saying they don't like using "queer"... great. And? YOU don't get to choose or define it! Like the way "gay" was reclaimed, so can "queer" be - and people are choosing that lable because of its robust, broad, elusive nature And that's the way language works - it changes! Also: I love it! Changing a word of hate to one of acceptance and love is the very essence of LGBTQ-ness! 🏳️‍🌈

[@benw9949]

I'm glad for him. The biggest advantage to coming out publicly is that it means you're being open and honest, and now no one can claim you're hiding a secret, something people can use against you as if it were a secret or a lie. It does mean coming out is a repeating process, and not everyone is going to like the news. But in general, being out is better than beingg closeted or not saying. Either way is not easy. But out I freeing in many ways. And you learn who your real friends are, including amongst relatives. Some peole are good with the news. Others are not, to one degree or another. some are bad about it. but that is on them. You can concentrate on your real friends or find new ones, if friends and relatives won't accept the news or are too uncomfortable. Funny, no one but family seemed surprised about me, and those family members didn't want to see it, to have to know it was thee, and didn't accept it. SO, well, like I said, you find out who your true friends are. Imiss some of those people, but they made their opinions and feelings plain. Life changes and we have to change too.

[@unseenmolee]

omg i love those earrings sm

[@janescott7605]

Thanks Vera. As a disabled person, I relate to a lot of what you said and especially appreciate the thoughts on not owing anyone anything. If I had a dollar for every time a total stranger has opened with, "What's wrong with you?"

[@cjayconrod]

I love when you allow yourself to be vulnerable with us. ❤

[@Donnagata1409]

There's a real connection. ❤❤

[@ourphilosophyis9119]

Hello Vera. Wanted to ask on this subject: wouldn’t talking about the specific programs/films Ncuti was cast in within the context of this topic (and the subsequent implications for those programs following his coming out) fall comfortably into the category of “analysis” rather than “promotion?” I fully respect your decision to not mention them specifically, but I was wondering that. Thanks!

[@glennmckenzie1096]

Love the word Queer and always have (I'm in my late 60s). It's been a way to hang on to the sense of who I am, through all the changes and new experiences of my ever growing self. It held me strong when I thought I was cis-het gay male and now, through the lens of of my newly understood autism, it still speaks of my asexual, agenda being. In these times where the insecure demand clarity about every aspect of someone else's life (how rude! Seriously , how VERY rude) it gives me the freedom to be publicly honest, and still protect myself (and offers the opportunity to find out new stuff in my own time and at my own pace) at the same time.

[@glennmckenzie1096]

PS: What an awesome essay - congratulations and Nga mihi nui (many many thanks).

[@Freak80MC]

I know it's not related to the whole point of the video, but I'm of two minds when it comes to labels. In a perfect world, they would never be used, because reality and people are too complicated to force into these arbitrary boxes we have created to categorize the world. Some people will mostly fit into some of these boxes, sure, but lots won't and it does a disservice to them to try to shove them into them. But on the other hand, as a trans person who struggles with their sense of gender identity and also struggles with their entire sense of identity in general, I keep wanting to grasp on to labels in the hope that if I just find the right ones, that they will make me feel like I finally found a place I belong, I finally figured out who I am. But I keep grasping and coming up empty handed. I try to hold on to certain labels even when I don't feel like I entirely fit in them. Whereas I think some people will fit labels like 90%, I feel like no matter what label I find for myself, I only fit at most 50 to 60%. And it makes me feel like I don't belong anywhere, like I'm some "other" detached from the rest of humanity, and even detached from the rest of groups that I should technically belong in, like trans people. I don't know where I'm going with this, just wanted to comment on that bit. EDIT: Okay this actually became a really good video on why if you are unsure what you are, but know you aren't cisgender and/or heterosexual, queer might be a good label for you. Will have to think on this...

[@greenghoul157]

I'm just so glad that the next man to play the Doctor is so fiercely passionate about normalising who he is and making people like him feel seen and feel loved, especially in a time where the current prime minister is homophobic and transphobic I think it's so important to make people feel like they are equals

[@benjamindavis4974]

David Tennant has Imposter Syndrome too

[@ribonichigo]

Ngl only reason I was shocked by this news cause I didn't know that he WASN'T out lol

[@antrazitaj5209]

While I did find my specific fitting label I like going with queer, it simplifies everything. As already mentioned, not only don't I owe anybody the specifics, the shortcut you mostly need is not cis/hetero, and that's all. Even if I have somebody who I want to know I don't have to go to the deep end and need long explanations for it.

[@benbastianiartmusic1421]

I honestly used to be one of those closed-minded Ben Shapiro type people but over the last decade having watched channels like this and gone out of my way to educate myself I am literally the polar opposite now. Word of advice to anyone still on the conservative side... listen to the actual LGBTQ community and not Piers Morgan / Katie Hopkins speaking for them.

[@richardvinsen2385]

What an interesting journey.

[@SomniRespiratoryFlux]

Since a lot of the discussion here is about the term "queer" and who does or doesn't like to use it, I guess I might as well share my personal perspective. That being, I fully support those who use it and will use it to refer to them, and sometimes as an umbrella term for the community as a whole rather than saying or typing LGBTQIA+ every time. But I've never personally felt comfortable using it for myself. Not because I was ever personally targeted by it, but because I look too much like the kind of person who'd be using it as a slur to begin with. I'm a white, cis (more or less), straight-passing but pan, man. I have strong memories of middle school even in the mid-00's being a time where other boys just casually threw around the term, not even maliciously necessarily, but with the casual, immature, "oh, that's icky" way middle school boys say a lot of disgusting things. And while I never really was that way myself it still resonates with me. It still feels like I'm on the outside, looking and behaving more like the people who use it as an insult even now than the ones trying to reclaim it even then. It just feels like it's not my word to reclaim, at least not while some people still try to use it in derogatory ways. And while I don't think there should be any pressure on me to "appear" more queer in order to be able to use it for myself (and dislike the concept of "passing" in general), I just don't feel it's a necessary word to describe myself. I'm fine with pan, and if I eventually end up settling on a non-cis gender identity I still feel like I'd be more comfortable just saying nonbinary. And while I'm absolutely fine with people being more vague or broad with their personal labels, I'm personally fine with being pretty open about mine, I really only get more private about the details of my orientation/identity rather than the general labels. I guess that's a lot of words to say not a lot of ideas, but I figured since a lot of people in the comments so far were expressing why they do use queer to describe themselves, it was worth providing the reasons I tend not to. I hope it doesn't come across like I'm saying they shouldn't, for the record, and I'm fine using it for someone who prefers it specifically, like Ncuti Gatwa. Hopefully that all makes sense.

[@bobmathis-friedman6742]

This is a most engaging entry, My Sister, and a reminder that Coming Out is, at the end of the day, a choice, not an obligation.

[@SadBnnuy]

Nice to have confirmation but when I first saw him for the first time at the red carpet event with RTD it was pretty obvious. Hopefully this means no love story with his companion🤞

[@Stephen-Fox]

Hearing Who Chaser's voice was a surprise but not an unappreciated one. Which is all I'm commenting because I have nothing to add to what you said.

[@ljayscott]

Incredibly well said. ❤

[@visionary202]

Thank you

[@richardvinsen2385]

Very powerful stuff.

[@fredskull1618]

I've always respected Gatwa’s avoidance of labels, but I'm a bit skeptical about the term "queer." I totally empathize with his frustration about tokenism in the industry. It's crucial to recognize the pressure diverse actors face. His personal experience at the Pride event, where he found a connection to his identity, is quite touching. However, the term "queer" still leaves me with reservations; I prefer more specific labels.

[@chrisleneil]

As a person who most frequently uses the term Queer to describe themselves, thanks for this video. It is honestly the easiest term I can use to describe myself so that I don’t need to get out my gender/sexuality flow chart. Also been a Whovian since I was a small child, during ye olde Doctor days - the fandom can be toxic as hell, so I have a lot of hope that the new Doctor/Companion will draw in a younger and more inclusive community.

[@sydneymcdaniel3388]

I am old enough to remember when Queer was a very Drug Dragatory term, but I'm coming to terms with the the taking control of the term, just like I'm still getting my head around Non minority even though in some ways I think I might be. Of course I from a time before transgender was term people knew about. Might be why it took me so long to realize I was trans. I didn't know it was a option

[@Lia-uf1ir]

As someone who struggles with labels, I can see why Ncuti Gatwa chose this term. I am very fluid in my gender but I can’t quite define the range so to speak. It’s a dash of female to the point where I wanna take estrogen But there’s also something that I would label nonbinary or demigirl/demi-nonbinary. It fluctuates infrequently. And I’m not very girly when it comes to clothing. Not to mention hairstyles. And to top it off, that’s all still theoretical as I haven’t had the opportunity to transition yet. So what I’ll eventually end up presenting myself as is still a mystery to me. But I know that I’m definitely not a cis man snd definitely not heterosexual. Whether I’m lesbian or bisexual/polysexual is something I’m not sure either yet. Or whether I’m aromantic or greyromantic.

[@elitettelbach4247]

Congrats to Ncuti! I’m happy for him!

[@Donnagata1409]

Remember Jodie Foster? Everybody knew, but until she said it, nobody knew. P.S. That new Doctor looks very, very promising... Your videos are a delight, Vera. 😘😘😘😘

[@Donnagata1409]

In "Tipping the Velvet", a lesbian says to another: "I couldn't be more pleased... or less surprised." Don't jump to conclusions, she wants her for her (also lesbian) friend... 😁😁