Nerd³'s Hell... Autobahn Police Simulator

A load of old... scheisse.
Game Link: • The Police - Roxanne (...
End theme by the incredible Dan Bull:
/ douglby
All other music is in game music. It makes me want to wonder what happened to Captain Boobie after all this...
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US: districtlines.c...
UK: www.gametee.co....

[@TanyaSapienVintage]

You've been fired. Reason for termination: "Hit by a car." totes realism

[@LobstertheGiggy]

Additional reason attached to that firing note: Because you were being an idiot standing in the road like a nitwit

[@MrNiceguy3210]

+Tanya Sapien Getting fired for being hit by a car XD

[@NamelessBody]

+Tanya Sapien To be fair, if you got hit by a car and got major injuries but survived, I doubt you'd remain fit for duty. The police would fire you for your injuries, even if it wasn't your fault. Or at least transfer you to a desk job.

[@polandball5294]

if you survived and the police fired you it would make sense because you wouldnt have to work.

[@oshonian3368]

Tanya Sapien

[@Corman262]

"You were swerving!" "Impossible, I have a habit of driving well." "Oh, my bad." Biggest pushover of a policeman ever.

[@KingLief75]

"I just need to do a double loopy floopy whoop doop." -Daniel Hardcastle, 2015

[@darkomihokovic545]

+D Shade daniel hardpower

[@user-kb8rc5vq2i]

+darko mihokovic Daniel Hardcore*

[@expertdenial2709]

+Revexus Exus *daniel hardcore parkour

[@user-kb8rc5vq2i]

Expertdenial Daniel Hardcore carkour*

[@Zestence]

What is it with Germans and simulators. It's like they're so hard working the only way they can relax at home is to simulate more work.

[@Tkeaney01]

Q

[@oajk90]

Jn..

[@alchemyrecords657]

Hey, native German here, hopefully I can clear this up. Basically we all hate ourselves hope this clears that up I know the explanation was kinda long

[@sploopst6868]

*lightly pushed by fast moving car* TOO MUCH CHAOS.

[@SupremeScience]

You're taking off ramp turns at 170kmph!!!

[@redraspberry4924]

kmpr?

[@IsReallyIt]

+Chemistryisthegame kilometer-miles per hour!!!!!

[@ElementalsMods]

+IsReallyIt kilo-meters per hour!!!! not everyone says kph.

[@IsReallyIt]

i know i was making a joke

[@TheGATG0bBlin]

+Chemistryisthegame doesn't the nerdcubed remind you of gaming lemon

[@SapkaliAkif]

Fun fact: If you're over 18 in Germany and you haven't filmed an amateur porn or made a simulator you are not considered a man.

[@doubleAallday-o3n]

Mehmet Akif Çalışkan lol

[@juxtalightborne3253]

Actually out of all the shit simulators this seems at least somewhat well made. Somewhat being the optimum word here

[@vooran]

+Ranomas Lightbringer Alliance!!!

[@cosaur7175]

+vooran your on every nerd3 vid ever..

[@MattJames2211]

+Ranomas Lightbringer its not even "somewhat well made", did you see the framerate?

[@juxtalightborne3253]

Matt James Yeah, but gameplay wise it does it's job, it isn't exactly good but it does it's job as a police simulator

[@MattJames2211]

Ranomas Lightbringer But not as a game, if it can't even run smoothly on Dan's PC, then its worthless.

[@adambell5781]

I like how Dan was trying to arrest somebody for speeding, on an AUTOBAHN

[@rdococ]

Adam Bell: Don't some of them have no speed limit?

[@adambell5781]

rdococ None of them have a speed limit, but they all have a suggested speed limit, so if you crash at a high speed they can just say that it's your fault

[@rdococ]

Adam Bell: wow... That sounds cool but dangerous

[@adambell5781]

rdococ I'm fairly sure they have a very good record for having minimal accidents, but I might be wrong

[@baloney_sandwich]

Adam Bell haha I completely forgot the autobahn doesn't have speed limit

[@SoggySoup]

There needs to be someone that makes a game like this but actually good

[@VaughanDavies]

+DemonEntertainment I'd play it! It would be fun to play as the police.

[@jordanlow1987]

+Vaughan Davies how about the GTA5 Police mod?

[@youtubepolice6914]

+DemonEntertainment gta mod ?? iv never played it so idk

[@SoggySoup]

Morgan Freeman It didn't seem as in-depth as this

[@youtubepolice6914]

***** fair enough

[@TheBibleSkeptic]

Sounds like you're typing out a novel when you drive...

[@tegenaraidomestica6646]

You watch Nerd? Love your vids!

[@hopchop966]

+Jon Amez why the fu k would you watch someone who focuses on religion??

[@razzaclarke7278]

+RavenousReindeerGaming maybe because he is religious

[@razzaclarke7278]

+RavenousReindeerGaming plus its a channel that is SKEPTICAL about religion

[@TheBibleSkeptic]

+Jon Amez Thanks, Jon! Yeah, I got hooked on ol' Dan. Been using my lunch hour to watch his City Skylines series.... :P

[@Darkshark1829]

I get what they were trying to say with the license plate existing, it's a registered license plate, but they could have worded that a lot better...

[@HappyMaskGamer]

Dan playing this game is sadly not too far off from the actual police

[@PaddleBoatMassacre]

+Happy Mask Gamer Really? Are you in the police?

[@PoloDaBear]

+Happy Mask Gamer What, crashing against motorway barriers and pinging off into space? I dread to think what the police force near you get up to...

[@HappyMaskGamer]

S'called a joke, fellas

[@PoloDaBear]

Happy Mask Gamer Oh you had me worried

[@summbuddie9120]

"Protect,serve and making our cars fly like motherfuckers" is the motto if I remember correctly.

[@ariesdemiurge]

*gets hit by car and just slides forward* "TOO MUCH CHAOS!"

[@Nb-ih1uw]

A breakdown triangle is a safety measure used when you want to change tyres and it is nighttime. Sou set it on the ground so other incoming drivers can be alerted and not crash the shit out of you

[@SSofIreland]

"You were swerving." "No, I wasn't." "Okay." Law enforcement, ladies and gentlemen.

[@nathanmccauley6813]

9:35 moments like these are why I love the Nerd3

[@laiostoudenn]

"this license plate exists" I died XD

[@galelululu]

Press F to pay inspects

[@MGSLurmey]

G

[@pabou1470]

+N3lag csgo inspect key is F. coincidence?

[@williampeterson7032]

+Pa Bou Eh, probably.

[@xThatSafteyGuyx]

+Pa Bou I don't think you understand this joke..

[@douglasyellow]

+Pa Bou ADVANCED WARFAAAAAARRRRREEEE

[@renogazo]

I feel that this game with a couple tweaks and fixes might become a competent game

[@CastorQuinn]

I'm going to be honest Dan, if I had a police officer under me causing this much chaos, I would assign someone to travel with them and keep an eye on them too.

[@GoingOffTopical]

it's fine, they're in Germany

[@xRawrBawr]

As a simulator, it doesn't look half bad. I think I'd find it quite relaxing driving around looking for crims, but I bet this game will cost like £30 or some bollocks. For £5 I'd buy it, looks like there's a hell of a lot more to do on it that farming simulator or the skiing ones.

[@TheSypher367]

The FPS is atrocious otherwise I agree I wouldn't mind picking it up

[@darkomihokovic545]

+Rawr Bawr download does it say something for you????????

[@theworst7739]

Hi Dan. I just want to thank you for going through the pain of games like this to entertain us. And i want to thank you for uploading videos so often as you do. Thank you.

[@thefiddler1930]

Captain boobie died during a tragic motorboating accident

[@TheMatty1x]

In Europe, a breakdown triangle is something you put 40 meters or so behind you car so people can see you've broken down.

[@blitzstrahl]

100m actually.

[@myfatassdick]

we don't have those in America just turn on the emergency light on

[@BewareTheForce]

+derpy153 I'm pretty certain you wouldn't need the triangle if that happened.

[@alechuntsman9524]

+myfatassdick school busses have those

[@entropyzero5588]

100, on the Autobahn would be far from enough. More like 500m _at least_ . 100-200m is on country roads; in cities it's basically "far enough that people can react depending on current speed limit, curves, etc.

[@megalofyia9280]

Did anyone else see the Ausfahrt sign and have a flashback to Euro Truck Simulator 2: "All roads lead to Ausfahrt"?

[@louiitrains]

I actually think that this could be a really good game, if they got rid of the crappy animations.

[@JoeWuhPuh]

+Scotch RailMan ngl it could be just as appealing as euro truck simulator if it was done right

[@hopchop966]

+Joe Wilson-Palmer nah,then why is this in nerds HELL rather than Plays, BTW (Dan adores Euro Truck Simulator)

[@Eira_]

+Scotch RailMan there are animations in this game?

[@thespiffingamerican]

+Scotch RailMan yes

[@jedispartan117]

+RavenousReindeerGaming Yep. When I saw ausfahrt, I immediately thought of his ETS2 videos. Might go watch them now.

[@AW_2000]

This cheered me up after my dog died today, glad to have this to take my mind off.

[@sontapaa11jokulainen94]

You better than amd?

[@eptio9849]

I hereby take you into apple pie and custardy

[@John514s]

To be 100% honest, this is actually well-made to some degree

[@ramimansi8511]

Ohhh man why does my country always make that shit simulators _Facepalm_

[@ThatGuyNamedElliot]

+RaMi ManSi Blame the Jews

[@michaelm4977]

its ok man its my country to

[@davidtiganila27]

+The Generic Gamer wrong country m8, these are german simulators

[@jackeea_]

+ThatGuyNamedElliot Simjewlator

[@TheKAckVideos]

+ThatGuyNamedElliot Good Idea :)

[@Kraang]

Hey Dan, generally when you know a turn will be difficult or sharp for your speeds you can: A) Slow down to a speed at which you have control over the vehicle. B) Be a good driver. C) Not turn at all and run into the wall.

[@150booyadragon]

Dan I genuinely think Nerd3's Hell is one of your best series.

[@James_6600]

I swear breakdown triangles are like mandatory in most countries

[@joeyscerbo7776]

"Oh it's a German one!" Its Called "Autobahn Police Simulator"

[@ScreaminMadMurphy]

idk if this is really hell cos you were genuinely enjoying yourself the whole time. Nerdcubed Completes: Autobahn Police Simulator.

[@Wockes]

In Germany being hit by a car is illegal

[@Dash123456789Brawl]

So Dan's instinct when approaching a sharp turn at full speed is to say 'Oh that looks like a really steep turn to dOH!' without braking in the slightest, got it.

[@hagridmary]

Since Dan said that he is changing things up a bit soon with the channel, this could be the last 'Hell' video :'(

[@lolz24000]

he is keeping 3 series, getting rid of 3, and adding 3 I think, but I don't know if that includes nerd³ plays.

[@hagridmary]

birdsonex I think he is getting rid of FW and Hell.

[@kass4294]

+birdsonex FW, Hell and something else, but he is probably making something even better

[@MagisterMalleus]

+Tom Monty I hope he doesn't get rid of fw. That's the best one. He should get rid of plays, that's pretty crap.

[@NoOneEpic]

+Tom Monty This is my favorite series of his, I really hope this doesn't go.

[@Trophonix]

Any video with "Hell" and "Simulator" in the title excites me to no end. PLEASE MORE OF THIS, DAN!

[@raptorjesus3894]

2TITAN Xs DAN?! HAVE YOU LOST IT?! THAT SORT OF PROCESSING POWER WILL KILL US ALL!

[@tigger1275]

I just realized something... I've been bored watching KZbin for years, and you make me interested, you are now my favorite KZbin

[@PrinzShepherd]

Dan should play some of the Crash Time titles because then he would see how the german police actually fights criminals :D Their territory is the Autobahn, their enemys are extremly fast and dangerous, crimes without limit, full risk for the men of Autobahn Police Simulator! (A bad version of the Alarm für Cobra 11 theme song starts playing)

[@TheHarleyDragons]

i like how when your crashing into people, purposely pulling out into oncoming cars, and flying though the air your fine but when you drive a little recklessly youve caused too much chaos

[@XMysticHerox]

Roxanne!

[@jatelitherius9842]

You don't have to turn on the blue light!

[@samfraser767]

Roxanne!

[@Sniblet]

Roxanne!

[@rlxts]

+MysticHero The Police huh? Every Charge you get! Every sentence you take! I can't find anymore lyrics for every breath you take

[@jatelitherius9842]

Ryan Antonio i'll be pointlessly arresting you!

[@TTKMKaizen]

KZbin gamers - 2016: Rushing to try to get things done faster. Rushing inevitably results in failure. Failure results in more retries. More retries results in several videos in succession showing the same content of failure and repeat. 13:43 Yes. Every video is like groundhog day.

[@arturaraujo73]

AUTOBAHN POLICE WILL NEVER CATCH TINY RICK!!!

[@greenfez_in_business_suit_3929]

+Artur Araújo TINY RICK FOREVER

[@HappyMaskGamer]

+Artur Araújo TINY RICK, BIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH

[@vooran]

+Artur Araújo Just because I'm in a translation mood. Kleine Rick (or) Lilla Rick

[@arturaraujo73]

vooran Ohh yeah, just so you know, just because o Pequeno Rick, ou o Baixo Rick, has small in his name, doesn't mean he can't kick you ass.

[@vooran]

+Artur Araújo That is true, das ist wahr, det är sant.

[@DerpsWithWolves]

>Arrest for phone use. >Crashes 20ft later while playing with police radio.

[@MrBawa480]

Wait soyou dont have the emergency triangle in britain? Or does it just have a different name? Its the little triangle you use to warn drivers of an upcoming stoped vehicle down the road.

[@JoeWuhPuh]

+Viktor Kovacs we do its just Dan doesn't drive, plus its not a legal requirement

[@OrionTekken]

+Viktor Kovacs We do, it isn't illegal not to have one though. Remember Nerd3 can't drive, he hasn't got a clue.

[@MrBawa480]

Well i cant drive either nor am i planning to, or a big car nut. But i guess if it isnt illegal to not have one, less people know about it.

[@salomonflamenco7162]

As an American I was also confused. Here they are called traffic cones

[@BandidoDescalzo]

+Viktor Kovacs nope I am not British but I'm pretty sure they don't. I do know in New Zealand we don't have them.

[@skthejanner]

For some reason "it's me again" sent me into quite a mad laughing fit

[@ZeroClarkThirty]

Kind of seemed like he was reaching to insult the game for a lot of it, with the walking animations and such. The controls work fine, it's better made than ALL of the other hell games, and it actually has a little bit of depth to it.

[@Mugetsu_Gaming]

ZeroClarkThirty it's because he's hitting turns at a fucking bazillion kilometers an hour

[@TheT-800]

NerdCubed is the only person I've seen having fun with THE WALKING ANAMATION XD

[@Wolfgang177]

Dan the second lady had Beer in her "boot"

[@mattrobert5]

You are actually aloud to carry alcohol, it would make transporting it very difficult otherwise

[@Wolfgang177]

I am aware, but there was only one bottle in the crate. He should have given her a breath test.

[@mattrobert5]

Wolfgang177 maybe she was cheap and only bought one bottle

[@sarowie]

+matt roberts one bottle, but she took the crate to carry it. As in Germany there is deposit on the crate and the bottles, I have a hard time to image a reason to drive around with just one bottle in a crate on the motor way.

[@alexeverett308]

@@Wolfgang177 He did do a breath test though...

[@patricksmusic3452]

'Is this the police force of silent f***ing hill?' I died.

[@TheICKMAN7]

I saw a disc called ultimate simulator. It had 20 simulator games in it. Including airport sim.

[@thedrunkmonk8386]

+ICKMAN7 I saw something like that once. It was 4 USD for 20 shit games. As a tangent, these types of games look like shit now, but not too long ago, games like Autobahn Police Simulator would have been considered among the better ones compared to all those primarily text-based games like Oregon Trail or Carmen Sandiego. Funny how times change.

[@Raichase]

This is right up there with Airport Simulator as one of your finest hours.

[@ozzer2010]

I have no idea why this is a hell video this game looks great

[@RyanCarbo96]

+oliver small no it doesn't the idea is there but it's badly made

[@tgsachris]

+oliver small Shitty frame rate, awful controls, crashing issues, poor instructions, seems like a good candidate for hell to me

[@ozzer2010]

It's like papers please mixed with gta 4 police mod, you can see a lot of potential.

[@tgsachris]

oliver small Yeah if papers please was made by someone who didn't care and there was no actual gameplay to it and the gta police mod was incredibly laggy and had half of it's features removed, no I dont see the potential in this

[@FireballFlame]

+tgsachris To be fair though, it looks like they at least tried, and it's playable. That alone makes it better than 90% of the games in Hell...

[@amcghie7]

To be fair, its difficult to make the point that this game makes it hard to drive when you're trying to take corners at 180kph. It would be quite normal for a car to have a large turning circle at those speeds haha

[@lukab511]

Well yeah, but it’s still a crap game.

[@ant420]

Hahaha" I found a terrorist" xD

[@Sergeilol20]

2 minutes later: warning, this person is wanted, dan: what!

[@ant420]

***** haha

[@splosionsRfun]

For being a low-budget "simulator", I think the leaning while running is actually kind of neat, even if it is a little goofy

[@asgeiralbretsen]

3:37 Tissen means The Dick in norwegian. Giggitygiggity.

[@PewPewBeets]

I see Dan is a fan of 70's-80's pop music.

[@thatonecop7678]

Shit id make a better police officer than that

[@Theredtail95]

A breakdown triangle is a little, triangular shaped cone, usually stored in the cargo area, kept in groups of 3 and laid behind a vehicle when it breaks down.

[@Frostvik]

GTA V meets Papers Please

[@quantumtech4190]

To be fair, it means that the license plate is not a clone, not that it physically exists in reality. Also a breakdown triangle is the small reflective triangle you put behind your car if it breaks down to warn other drivers.

[@Neosublimation]

Next time I want you to **READ ALL THE GERMAN SIGNS!**

[@ellenmadden8343]

At least back in the 90s breakdown triangles were big reflective triangles that you put down when you broke down. My 1990 Mercedes came with one strapped to the inside of the trunk lid. They're mandatory to carry in Germany, although I think most of them are small electronic units now. In fact back my car was new you also had to carry an extra can of gas if you were driving on the autobahn because it is/was illegal to run out of gas on it.

[@squidwardshouse5431]

If it's the Autobahn then why are there speed limit signs? I'm pretty sure that's what the Autobahn is famous for.... No speed limits.

[@TheMrVengeance]

+aNewbSimRacer - Autobahn is just German for 'highway'. There are a select few areas of the autobahn without limits, but most of them absolutely do.

[@squidwardshouse5431]

Oh ok. I thought it might have been a bit unsafe.

[@sarowie]

+TheMrVengeance It is slightly more confusing. The Autobahn has by default no speed limits, but they put speed limits because... bad road conditions, construction sides, a lot accidents, to better pace the traffic, to reduce pollution, ... and many other reasons. The end result is, that most Autobahnen have a speed limits. The Autobahnen with no speed limit are therefore declared by not having a speed limit sign (or by cancelling the previous speed limit).

[@arnerademacker8548]

+sarowie Speed limits are usually set around cities more than anything. The "default" when it comes to speed limits seems to be 120kph around cities and 80 to 60kph around construction work. Other than that though, there are lots of places where the Autobahn is not limited. It also depends a lot on where in Germany you are. Some places are packed with speed limits while in others you can go for miles without a single one.

[@reddrumstick11]

4:26 it was this moment Dan realized that he was in the Big Lez show

[@Jessimo223]

Wait A Sec... I can do all of this in the LCPDFR mod on GTA IV (or V) *Re downloads GTA IV and installs mods instead of this crap game*

[@PrinceLeviathan]

But can you get wonderful dialogue such as "You were swerving" "No i wasn't" "Ok"

[@Daniel-nn8mr]

Captain Boobie? I laughed like hell when I saw that name 😂😂.

[@JoeWuhPuh]

Still shows more competence than American Police Officers

[@Sheehy223]

STOP RESISTING!

[@JoeWuhPuh]

MaxTheKanuck #JoinTheMasterRace *BLAM*

[@jeffcubed]

+Joe Wilson-Palmer fuck you

[@JoeWuhPuh]

Jeff Cubed fuck you again

[@ryanbacker4870]

+Joe Wilson-Palmer you're everywhere aren't you. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

[@Kingz4Kings]

I swear he isnt the smartest duck in the pond

[@laggy3099]

Y'know, minus the shitty-ness of this game, this looks like fun.

[@FureviewsGaming]

"let's go left here!" *goes right* Gotta love this guy XD

[@joeonyoutube2225]

HA! Autobahn, what is this? Twitch?

[@Hendlton]

This was one of the best Hell videos in a while, I couldn't stop laughing.

[@james88076]

lol game map is Google maps screenshot

[@ImMatthewFallon]

Does anybody else remember Ausfart from his Euro Truck Simulator 2 videos :D

[@Naxvarus]

You should autobahn anyone who says they like this game.

[@Kagstrom2100]

Wow, I almost died of laughter watching this, and I'm happy about it! :D

[@corgistaniel1150]

Deutsch, Dan. Not Dutch. Deutsch = German, Dutch = from the Netherlands.

[@deffdefying4803]

The sirens sound like the car is violently vibrating constantly

[@sparrow9635]

WTF this was seven months ago. Where did the time go.

[@orrins8554]

EXACTLY! It feels like 4 days but when you look back at the release date it feels like ages!

[@sparrow9635]

EXACTLY! It feels like 4 days but when you look back at the release date it feels like ages!

[@conbonnor]

Imagine if this game was made by a guy who hated how his local police did stuff like: stand in the middle of the road on purpose just to get hit,pull over random people,arresting said people and going about 20000000km/h in a 60km/h zone

[@vooran]

Ich bin ein auto auf der Autobahn! Yeah I know German! (I am a car on the highway) Ja, ich kann deutsch sprechen! (or badly translated) Yeah, ich weiss deutsch! (And just because I can, I will do it in Swedish) Jag är en bil på motorvägen! (or) Jag kan prata tyska!

[@XMysticHerox]

+vooran *der

[@sparrow9635]

+vooran "Yeah I know German" What does that mean? Doesn't seem german.

[@XMysticHerox]

*kann ^^

[@vooran]

+MysticHero Danke schön! Thank you! Tack!

[@TheKAckVideos]

Coole Geschicjte Herr Toat! Ich werde jetzt in mein Buttmobil der handsomeness steigen und davon fliegen :3

[@10Greylock]

I'm hella stoned and I laughed the entire duration of this video

[@XSpamDragonX]

Scheiße! Alt+0223 for "ß" (Scharfes S)

[@lawrencemercieca]

You know it's gonna be a good vid when it's a simulator

[@Narmatonia]

FGS Dan Deutsch is German for German!

[@JonathanNichollstechandsuch8]

Should’ve been called the “Wir fahren, fahren, fahren auf def Autobahn Police Simulator”. Absolutely a missed opportunity.

[@MisterAytch]

Hi nerd

[@Crbn46]

+Parker Davis cutest profile picture

[@thischannelhasnocontent8629]

Dan is making NO effort to refute my claim that this series is Squirty Play V2.0.

[@pauloxley7943]

Woooo another simulation game.

[@RobloxianUploader]

I love the links he does in the description.

[@justametalhead625]

So will autobahn ever get banned?

[@CaptMono]

+JustAMetalHead That's me

[@skrrtskrrt646]

You have been autobahned. Don't reply. 1m euro has been charged. sincerely Velvet

[@CaptMono]

Bloody Ricers ... I'm sorry, I couldn't help but reply.

[@skrrtskrrt646]

emilio nardone another 1m euro have been charged, sincerely totally not a valve copy.

[@CaptMono]

I'm not even a european.

[@metafis2490]

I like how Dan "sings" the Led Zep whole lotta love riff in moments of triumph. He also does this in Cities Skylines :)

[@HarveyYaGoof]

They should Autobahn the people who made this game

[@TheKieranator]

According to the RAC, a warning triangle is compulsory in every vehicle with 4 wheels or more when driving in Germany...