Nervous System Starter Steps. SPECIAL TOPIC LECTURE w/ Irene Lyon

Hello! This recording is from my Special Topic Lecture that happened on May 20, 2021 wherein I dive into the essential starter steps for nervous system health and healing trauma. I hope you enjoy the breakdown, and be sure to go a little deeper and dig into the EXTRA RESOURCES.
Here are some Questions/Topics I discuss in this chat:
2:56 - What is trauma?
4:41 - Why are you? What is your purpose for being here?
6:24 - Nervous systems explained
10:20 - Freeze state
13:44 - Effect of being stuck in survival responses
14:42 - Vagus nerve
19:27 - Importance of solid, safe connection when a baby
22:04 - Neuroplasticity
25:26 - Following biological impulses
27:50 - Not being allowed to express yourself
29:39 - Baby/Child looking for attunement
31:58 - Flow within the Nervous System
33:50 - Orienting (connection to the outside world)
37:28 - Orienting neurosensory exercise
40:18 - What to do when feelings of scared come up when orienting
43:33 - Early/Pre-Verbal Trauma
45:32 - Working with the stress organs (adrenals/kidneys)
47:15 - ACE Study
53:17 - Awareness of our movement
1:03:25 - Importance of daily practice when healing
1:07:24 - Working with Grief when overwhelmed
1:10:25 - Chronic fatigue & body pain - freeze
1:14:21 - Sweating when stressed
1:19:18 - How our upbringing can shape how we view the world as an adult
1:21:36 - Shame and biological impulses
1:26:44 - OCD
1:32:21 - Importance of building the foundations
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Resources I mention in this Vlog:
► The Polyvagal Theory. Explained
• The Polyvagal Theory. ...
► All THINGS Polyvagal. Plus Q&A with Irene.
• All THINGS Polyvagal. ...
► How to create a healthy human being starts here (it's not what you think) || with Irene Lyon
• How to create a health...
► What do you do when you have unresolved trauma? Two types of orienting
• What do you do when yo...
► What the heck is orienting? (and why is it so important?!)
• What the heck is orien...
► How to heal adrenal fatigue by working with stress organs
• How to heal adrenal fa...
► Origins of the ACE Study
/ origins-of-the-ace-study
► SmartBody SmartMind
smartbodysmartmind.com/
► Drop In Class
irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-1
► Website
irenelyon.com/
► Free Resource Centre
irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/
► 3-Part Healing Trauma video series
irenelyon.com/healing-trauma-...
► How stored up traumatic (toxic) stress creates chronic illness
• How stored up traumati...
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Thank you for being here!
1. Leave a comment and let me know how this video impacted you. Feel free to leave a question (my team answers them each week!)
2. To get more nervous system health resources, plus learn more about me and my credentials, plus the many ways you can work with me at the practical level, head to my website: irenelyon.com
3. Follow me on social here:
Instagram: / irenelyon
Facebook: / lyonirene
LinkedIn: / irenelyon
SoundCloud: / irenelyon
4. GOT QUESTIONS? Send an email to: [e-mail]
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Please know that…
The statements on this KZbin channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.
My website is a wealth of free resources and information on how to start this work, so here it is one more time: irenelyon.com

[@IreneLyon]

Start now. Get learning + doing. My FREE resource page is here so you can start: irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/

[@ninakenny3586]

Do you do individual counseling or have counselors available? I have been struggling with tinnitus since March of this year with deep depression and anxiety and need some counseling that works for the depression and anxiety that came on as a result of the trauma from the tinnitus. THank you

[@teamlyon3109]

@@ninakenny3586, Jen here from Team Lyon. I'm sorry to hear about your experience Hi Nina, Jen here from Team Lyon. Some of us on Team Lyon are taking new clients. You can also find trained nervous system practitioners through the Somatic Experiencing website. There is also a site specific to people who are trained in working with nervous system based touch work (especially helpful with early and developmental trauma). I'll share some links below. Team Lyon - irenelyon.com/meet-the-team-3/ Somatic Experiencing Practitioner Directory - directory.traumahealing.org Co-Regulating Touch - coregulatingtouch.com

[@Blackberg]

I am a 50 year old woman that was diagnosed Autistic two years ago. My therapist has tried to explain to me why I am experiencing an Autistic Burnout. I failed to understand why he would cry during our sessions. HE CRIED FOR ME! I am of above average intellegence and like to anylise information. This is what July 2021 is all about for me. I turned 50 last Sunday. I took the month off to discover who and why I am. My brilliant therapist sent me two articles to read. That introduced me to Poly Vagal Theory, which lead me to Irene. I find so much value in your videos because they are made for every-one... not just neuro typical people. Thank You I am from South Africa and no we do not have dangerous wild animals walking our city streets, :)

[@FatimaZahra-oe6br]

Wow thx for sharing 💖 Can i have your therapist number? My sister needs help

[@monwala77]

See

[@fredas-t4890]

😂

[@Rhombles]

Irene, I can't tell you how long I've been looking for some thing that explains why I've always felt scared and I also have an autoimmune illness. What you described was me. I am amazed I've only just found you. I never understood why I couldn't verbalize why I felt certain things. You are amazing

[@user-turbomamba24]

I'm here to learn, also identify my childhood "little t" trauma. Because of my mother was a proffesional, emotional abuser, gaslighter, to the point that I am just learning of all of the trauma I grew up in. I had no understanding of anything but abuse and neglect, abandonment.

[@dianacudby7290]

I'm in a similar place, loved discovering Irene Lyon and also Dr Gabor Maté who've helped me understand what trauma is and starting me on the healing journey. Blessings to you 😊❤

[@berlinetta____2680]

Thanks again, Irene. G'day from Australia. I am being "treated" for CPTSD, due to dysfunctional and aggressive upbringing, I figured out I developed codependent behaviours to cope (after fighting and flighting were not a safe option I froze for years)... which caused me to attract the same cycle of narcissistic and codependent others into my life which caused more trauma. I have diagnosed IBS, hives, tinnitus, anxiety, low self-esteem blah blah blah. What has really helped me (as you state in your 21-day nervous system tune-up) is to first educate myself. This led me to research narcissism and codependency (my family dynamic) and of course learning about the polyvagal theory. Through a trauma councillor, I am receiving support and I have also started the safe and sound protocol (SSP). Early days yet but I definitely feel more "in control" of my life from understanding the why and how of the nervous system. I enjoy watching all your videos as they also appeal to the science "nerd" in me. Cheers

[@DanaNawzarJaf]

Your observations scream lots of experience and knowledge. Thank you for providing such useful content.

[@jolissalwilliams]

As an HSP Introvert with a big personality, I feel it’s important to differentiate between being an “introvert”, “shy” and “socially anxious” to your point @30:30 in the video While it is possible that someone can be all three, introversion and shyness are not trauma responses- social anxiety is and can impact introverts and extroverts, shy and not shy all the same. Introversion is a personality trait on a spectrum. Being around large groups of people is physically draining for introverts. Spending time alone is how introverts recharge their energy to reengage with the world and prefer interaction to be with small groups of people- strangers or those they know very well. This is not distressing unless introverts are being pressured to behave extroverted. Shyness is a personality trait. Not feeling confident when around people in social situation they don’t know well. Tends to only feel comfortable around people they know very well. Causes distress in certain situations. Social anxiety is a mental illness. Having an overwhelming fear that being around others will result in humiliation. May desire to be around people but anxiety gets in the way, triggering avoidance. As a mental illness, it cause significant distress and functional impairment. Much like the complexity of nervous system work, such is the exploration of the quieter personality in a world that won’t stop talking. Wanted to make it a point to this bit because healing from trauma is already a challenge and even more so when one’s personality is labeled as a trauma response. It lends to the idea that healing will only be done if the introvert reaches a certain level of extroversion in their expression otherwise they are still traumatized for being inward. Spent many year feeling broken as an introvert and while my healing journey continues I have come to realize I am not broken because I’m introverted and my healing and expressions of self actualizing will look different from my extroverted counterparts. Just wanted to share. ❤

[@kt1048]

🙋‍♀️ I am all three! I’m a very shy introvert that is extremely socially anxious. The social anxiety is getting better now that I’m understanding why I am the way I am. Most importantly, I’m understanding that not everybody had to like me and I’ll be just fine. I don’t like every person I come in contact with either and I can’t expect that of others.

[@DanaReneeDaniel]

This sounds like my life long learning that I never thought would be possible but now 💫 living in pain throughout my whole life. Tried to runaway my first time in 2nd grade which I accomplished when I was 15. Looking forward to working with your programs. All of your examples mean so very much. Nothing else has matched you and I have been searching and studying for answers since 1986

[@MsBeauregard-hf5yl]

Difficulty for a lot of people is they never felt safe so wouldn’t know how it feels or recognise it when they actually do. 😞 Unsafe feelings are the norm so are the default ‘safe’….

[@drsandhyathumsikumar4479]

I love it when you call children little people and little ones ..that is so respectful 🎉❤

[@FatimaZahra-oe6br]

You're a gift to humanity

[@luisenriquez1964]

Not only brilliant and incredibly informative......but very attractive as well! The perfect combination.

[@1491rachel]

Yay excited to listen to new class ...thank you for sharing

[@joanieks3945]

Hi Irene, just starting my healing journey 😊

[@17hockeyhighlights92]

I’m experiencing chronic illness / long haul covid/ failed back surgery syndrome and severe cognitive dysfunction, bowel dysfunction and a myriad of other things triggered by long haul covid and withdrawal of use of ADHD medication. I learned the poly vagal theory and realized that I’ve been stuck in a combo of fight or flight and shutdown for most of my life. I came across one of your videos and it resonated deeply with me. I appreciate how you present the knowledge and I am just starting to set some time aside to watch your other videos and see what else answers questions or sheds light on the unknown about my health. What I do know is I have a list of traumas and have been stuck in a stress response and therefore I am not healing. ❤️‍🩹 Thank-you for your work.

[@JP-ur9ie]

I am so grateful for you and your videos and very thankful to have found you!

[@JediBunny]

Another wonderful livestream, Irene. Thank you so much for sharing your insight and helping so many people, including myself, to better understand how to self-regulate and orient in a healthier way. I truly believe you are helping the world through providing these resources to the public and I am _so_ grateful! The Force is with you ✨💙✨

[@panditakasper4631]

Irene this is so helpful, I can' t thank you enough. Love all your videos.❤🙏😇

[@penelopeperez5349]

Once again, amazing video, Irene! I'm impressed by what you shared specially on minute 81 (approx) about people who were exposed to stress even during pregnancy so they are constantly attracted to chaos (either chaotic news, events, etc) because they are wired to find danger everywhere and they are sometimes even unable to appreciate the good happening in front of their eyes. I can relate so much to this! I've always felt attracted and curious about chaotic news, events, etc., and find it difficult to enjoy or "believe" the good things happening as well (in my life or in the world!).. Doing "the work", getting to know ourselves, our nervous system, practicing practicing practicing really IS our best contribution to create a better world :) Thank you, Irene!💕

[@akapatience5571]

I have IBS and A LOT of food sensitivities so I really need to plan ahead to eat the way my stomach can handle. Often I will hear my stomach growl and not realize that I'm hungry! I eat dinner not because I feel hungry at that time but because when I'm trying to sleep, I guess I'm finally calm enough to sense the hunger and it keeps me awake.

[@liz.a314]

Omg I totally relate to the beverages !! I can’t leave the house without one in my hands it makes me feel so much safer

[@TheDaga76]

This is so helpful and eye opening!! Thank you so much!!

[@dianacudby7290]

Hi Irene! I found you recently, enjoying learning. It's Friday 16th February 2024 and I'm in New Zealand

[@heidimitchell5269]

I’m very new to this and I’m looking to come out of functional freeze. I have heard that this approach is effective. Thank you for this content

[@IreneLyon]

Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. Thank you for your comment and share. A good place to start would be Irene's free resources and mini training "Healing Trauma", all of which are housed under this link: irenelyon.com/free-resources/. You can also search on Irene's KZbin for keywords like 'freeze' to see what she has previously said, like in these videos here - www.youtube.com/@IreneLyon/search?query=freeze, or 'dissociation' - www.youtube.com/@IreneLyon/search?query=dissociation. If diving into this world of nervous system education and its practices speak to you and you want to go deeper than what she offers through her free resources (which are pretty extensive!), then be sure to check out both of her online programs, the 21 Day Nervous System Tune-Up and SmartBody SmartMind™ (SBSM™), which are designed to work with all types of trauma at the deep level of the nervous system to fundamentally change the way you are in relationship to yourself, others, and the environment around you. Many folks find this nervous system work, at its heart, is about becoming who YOU truly are and finally learning what it means to go from living in a state of survival, stress and anxiety to a place of hope, possibility and solid well-being, and this very often includes coming out of freeze. For more information on coming out of freeze check out this article by Irene’s husband and colleague, Seth Lyon. sethlyon.com/come-freeze-flow/

[@mikiinspire]

This is what I'm waiting to listen for my life

[@MishMacky]

Amazing info and resources. My fear is that it could take years of relentless effort. It feels like a ton of work. I feel so deflated by the work load ahead of me.

[@brandigillam2576]

I work with trauma and anxiety clients. Always looking for more ways to help my clients.

[@berlinetta____2680]

My parents thought I was such a good baby as I was the only one in the crib area in hospital who didn't cry. I rarely if ever woke up crying for anything as a baby or a toddler. Whereas my older mentally disabled sibling did all the time and they were always the "bad" one and me the "good one". But I know this was false now and I was doomed to begin with. I have tried to talk to my parents about everything but they are either in complete denial, or they gaslight me and say I am wrong etc etc. They also don't want to know of and or they don't believe I have so many issues in my life (as i am the "perfect/good one" that they made"). So I have had to cut contact with them. It is in my best interest to do so. I can now focus on healing myself.

[@teamlyon3109]

Hi Lim Lop, it sounds like you were clear about the steps you needed to take to support your healing. An article by Seth Lyon, Irene's husband and colleague came to mind when I read your comment. I'll link to it here in case you want to read it. - Jen from Team Lyon Sometimes we Have to Break Up with Our Family - sethlyon.com/sometimes-break-family/

[@heidimitchell5269]

I’m here because I’m in a chronic freeze response due to multiple past dysfunctional relationships. I’m beginning to work on healing from that

[@IreneLyon]

Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. Thank you for your comment and share. A good place to start would be Irene's free resources and mini training "Healing Trauma", all of which are housed under this link: irenelyon.com/free-resources/. You can also search on Irene's KZbin for keywords like 'freeze' to see what she has previously said, like in these videos here - www.youtube.com/@IreneLyon/search?query=freeze, or 'dissociation' - www.youtube.com/@IreneLyon/search?query=dissociation. If diving into this world of nervous system education and its practices speak to you and you want to go deeper than what she offers through her free resources (which are pretty extensive!), then be sure to check out both of her online programs, the 21 Day Nervous System Tune-Up and SmartBody SmartMind™ (SBSM™), which are designed to work with all types of trauma at the deep level of the nervous system to fundamentally change the way you are in relationship to yourself, others, and the environment around you. Many folks find this nervous system work, at its heart, is about becoming who YOU truly are and finally learning what it means to go from living in a state of survival, stress and anxiety to a place of hope, possibility and solid well-being, and this very often includes coming out of freeze. For more information on coming out of freeze check out this article by Irene’s husband and colleague, Seth Lyon. sethlyon.com/come-freeze-flow/

[@cherryminas8201]

I am joining in from the Philippines learning about this stuff as I have experienced the Big T and the small t in my childhood

[@teamlyon3109]

Welcome Cherry! Great to have you joining us here. Irene has lots of resources to support your learning. Please ask if you have any questions. - Jen from Team Lyon

[@mrrobot2791]

I'm here to educate myself on how to help myself and also educate so i can assist others

[@kurtorlisalarsen8674]

I'm new to you and look forward to exploring more!

[@erstwhile3793]

Tuning in somewhat behind the curve time wise, as usual, but just wanted to comment that, it doesn’t have to be procrastinating that brings one of us SBSM people to a lecture like this. For one thing, I came out of curiosity as whether there might be something I could pass on to others in my life that need what you offer, but for various reasons don’t have access to it. But, also, with the nervous system healing/learning, I find that I need many repetitions of this very basic info, to begin to truly ingest and digest it in a way that I can use it and share it in a coherent way. So, not procrastinating at all, simply trying to take it all in more effectively.

[@IreneLyon]

Thanks for sharing this Erstwhile3!

[@Mumty1997]

Might be a weird thing to say, but Irene looks healthier and younger than she did on videos a few years ago which is interesting!

[@jnikkd50]

I'm in a verbally abusive marriage & several years ago I began to realize my vobabulary is smaller

[@maeelizabeth9184]

So sorry

[@JP-ur9ie]

I am in the same situation and understand where you are coming from, having to shut down myself as well.

[@frederiekewoudstra9241]

Hey team Lyon, First time for me to write here on the channel. I am a 28-year old woman from the NL and found your videos a few months ago. A lot of things are falling in place, the information really helps to understand whats going on (and has been going on in the past) inside of me. I Feel very grateful ánd hopeful I can say with a tiny bit of confidence💚 I would like to get some insight or advice on the process that I am in, I feel like I am so focused on trauma and stress and my body sensations and moments of social anxiety now - and also I feel insecure to share about all this with the people around me.. Basically I think the 'problem' is my mindset, I tend to see problems in (almost) everything and want to solve things directly. So when realizing I too have a lot of unresolved stuff in my system, I want to 'fix' that..the sooner the better. But this creates more stress because there seems to be 'hurry' to watch more videos, find a trauma trained therapist, practice more myself... And there is also shame that I am feeling so much chaos and insecurity. I am aware that this is the wiring of my system and this is what feels 'safe' now.. I would like to get out of the constant overwhelm and the identification with my problems (being: ibs, eczema, anxiety, adhd, relationships that I dont trust/feel safe in). So I guess I am trying to find out what is a healthy way to, so to speak, organize the healing now? Should I take it easy and just keep learning through the free resources you offer for a while.. or do my best to find a therapist to guide and support me - even if this persom would not be fully trauma trained? Thank you so much for taking time to read and maybe helping me find some clarity! 🙏

[@IreneLyon]

Hi Friederike Woudstra, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's great to hear that things are falling into place as you've been watching Irene's videos and that you've been learning more about what's going on in you. What you describe - the social anxiety, the wanting to fix things, the urgency you feel - are all ways that sympathetic activation can show up in the nervous system. You ask about a healthy way to move forward. Given that Irene's teachings resonate with you, you might check out her 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up. It's a self-study course that you can do at your own pace, and you also have the opportunity to ask questions about your experience of the course and have them answered by nervous system practitioners. And if you do decide to do some 1-1 work with a nervous system practitioner, the education and practices you learn are often very supportive of the 1-1 work. I'll link to the website for the course in case you'd like to learn more, and also to an interview Irene did with a participant who experienced a lot of change from working with the free resources and the "Tune Up". 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com Too Young to Be in So Much Pain - irenelyon.com/2022/07/31/too-young-to-be-in-so-much-pain-resharing-a-powerful-healing-story/

[@diannecurle7529]

To final live my truth!

[@marisaebsworth3716]

I absolutely love your videos, I cried when I saw your video on disassociation… hit the metaphoric mail on the head, can’t wait to start 21 day tune up! Can you (or anyone) comment on caffeine and disassociation?? 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@IreneLyon]

Hi Marisa Ebsworth, Jen here from Team Lyon. Different nervous system have varied responses to caffein, and it has a stimulating effect on many systems. When this is the case, it can heighten sympathetic activation. Looking through a nervous system lens, dissociation and conservation physiology often go hand in hand, and we go into freeze/conservation physiology when there is more activation in the system than it has the capacity to handle. Caffein can also have other effects on the body/NS, which could also be related. For example, in some systems there can be a paradoxical response which could cause dissociative symptoms.

[@annaynely]

Food in the refrigerator... but what kind of food do they have in the refrigerator if any. Some ppl in their developing years hardly eat healthy nutrition to have a strong nervous system. We know today that a good nutrition can even cure mental illness-Dr Chris Palmer

[@amytaylor2739]

I agree with your theory that introversion can be a coping strategy. Also, extrovertion? there may be some parents who demand a lot of “performance” and interaction from their kids,

[@bookishwriter9460]

When you watch those videos on double speed so you have time to watch it in its entirety😂

[@DanaReneeDaniel]

Light bulbs are the best happening thing in life. Shift and change on the little light bulb. Yea. Self work is always first. I still have so much farther to go 😅😊

[@sarahjorth2529]

Hi! I think it’s in this video that Irene talks about the negative aspects of praise. She mentions ther are studies about this and I wonder if you could help me with links to such studies. I’m stuying psycology and want to add this info to my exam. I’m an sbsm alum and I want to thankyou for every wonderful piece of wisdom that I’ve received!❤️

[@We-are-one1978]

Wonderful, but still a question; while notice fight flight energy, what to do when the mental state will take things over after that?

[@raquelt5342]

Hello Irene, I have been watching your videos for some time along with different types of therapies, doctors, and other healing modalities. I love the information you provide although I admit I'm a bit lost...I'm wanting to have a clear path on healing the trauma not just the longer lectures. Do you have a video or some sort of playlist so I can stay focused on actually taking the steps I need to take?

[@IreneLyon]

Hi Raquel T, Jen here from Team Lyon. Irene does provide a lot of free content! I'll link to a KZbin playlist she has with some neurosensory practices, and if you want a clear, guided path the place to find this is in her 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up. It's a paid self-study course that takes you through the basics of nervous system education and practices. I'll share a link to that too in case you'd like to learn more. KZbin playlist of neurosensory practices - kzbin.info/aero/PL_tIcR-r0CU5Xss_Mq1buU-tWdYVQksjI 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com

[@user-Carole8]

I’m Carole & from Layton, Utah. I have plenty I need to learn & get past a lot of traumas in my past & still taking place, with my husband. I’m too scared to do life alone. We have 4 boys & 4 girls, 16 grandchildren, with twins coming in less than a month, adding #17 & #18. I do have wonderful children & lots of blessings. I need to speak up more, instead of keeping peace. It’s eating away at me inside.

[@user-Carole8]

I have been watching you off & on. You are beautiful & have so much knowledge.

[@IreneLyon]

Hi Carole, and welcome. Jen here from Irene's team. I hear that you have many blessings in your life, and also want to learn to speak up more. This interview with one of Irene's students came to mind when I read what you wrote. Real Lives, Real Change: From Victimhood to Empowerment - kzbin.info/www/bejne/gIq2kISGdpiBarM

[@spaceanarchist1107]

When I did the orientation exercise, I became so absorbed in what I was looking at that I had only a vague awareness of my body. I tend to pay attention to only one thing at a time. I couldn't really answer the question about what I was feeling inside while looking at my room because I was just looking at my room, not experiencing anything else. I am neuroatypical. Have you worked with anyone else who experiences only one sensation at a time? If so, how should one work with this exercise?

[@karendixon9419]

I know why I feel the way I do, but I don't know how to heal or what to do with that healing

[@user-bn2st5kx8h]

I dont know why I couldn't download the audio's. Specifically the vids were OK. I d like to find actual exercises like the one in this video to get an idea how it works.this part is a bit unclear to me still I m also curious how much is theory or how much all the theory s needed So far I ve noticed I had great value from small portions of the vids and others where it's one hour discussion and 5 minutes of a vey important concept explained which I knew and its a validation or I didn't know and I deduce something of great importance I dunno if I explained it well This exercise was very good ,heart warming I watched quite a few videos though to start understanding what this work consists of In fact if it wasnt the impressive clarity of your voice and behaviour looking human not robotic like many ppl in degrees I would have lost my patience.i m sure that is a trauma response where we want everything fast nevertheless is valid Thank you

[@IreneLyon]

Hello, Sophia here from Team Lyon. Thank you for your comment and your feedback. All of Irene's free resources here are downloadable irenelyon.com/free-resources/ including the audios. Please feel free to reach out to our support inbox if you have any issued downloading. Thanks again for your appreciation of Irene's work. Wishing you the best on your healing journey

[@catherinebailey940]

Even though I know everything you are saying is 100% true, I always feel so overwhelmed listening... I feel like I've completely broken my 13 year old son through my own disregulation (anxiety and depression) over the years and when he was in utero. While I can try to do this work myself (which is hard), there's no way I'm going to get him to buy in. So instead, I have to watch his disregulation unfold and not be able to do anything about it 😭 It sends me into fight flight freeze!!! Any suggestions?

[@IreneLyon]

Hey Catherine. My biggest suggestion is to do the work for you the best you can, get started, and build up your OWN capacity drop by drop. Get into my free resources. Work through my drop-in classes. Start my 21-day nervous system tune-up. This will give you more capacity overall to be with your current situation. Also, I did a vlog on how to help kids here: irenelyon.com/2020/02/23/how-to-help-children-who-have-anxiety-depression-and-add/ With teens, they are older and need their autonomy, so my advice in this vlog above is to save up money for a somatic therapy fund for when they are older in the case that they might want therapeutic support so they can gain their own regulation as adults. Be well, Irene.

[@catherinebailey940]

@@IreneLyon thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it 🙏 Hopefully if he sees me being able to regulate, he'll be more open to this route when he's an adult. I've been trying to find a SE practitioner here in NZ for him for a few years to no avail. I guess I'll just park it for now. Thank you 👍

[@teamlyon3109]

Hi @@catherinebailey940, Jen here from Team Lyon. Saw your comment above and wanted to let you know that many practitioners now do this work remotely which can provide more options for finding someone to work with.

[@erstwhile3793]

Hi Catherine, Late to the show, here, but I saw your post and it resonates very deeply with me, as I also have kids (all adults at this point) that I “messed up” with my own dysregulation (depression/anxiety). I get you! You’re right that it’s challenging to watch their dysregulation unfold and not be able to “do” anything about it. I can share with you, though, that the younger kids, who were still growing up as I was learning to be more emotionally intelligent and in many ways healing my dysfunctional patterning, are a lot more functional themselves than the older ones, so that says that my healing DID help them, even though their early years were so full of my and their fathers’ dysregulation. And now, as I’m working with SBSM over the past year or so, I see signals that even more is shifting. You know what else is kind of interesting? A lot of my pre-SBSM healing went on while two of the four younger ones were already grown and out of the house, and yet, I saw them mirroring changes occurring in my life, almost simultaneously. As I began releasing self-loathing and some of my fears, I naturally opened space in how I interacted with them, and they began to discover their own paths to self-acceptance and courage. Now that I’m finally learning about the fundamental thing that I always sensed and didn’t have words for, and couldn’t find healing for; ie., dysregulated ANS/physiology, I’m curious how this process is going to affect them as well. I’ve learned and am learning more and more, to just “be” the healing, rather than trying to tell them about healing. Talking to them about it just generates resistance in their systems, even if they don’t resist consciously. I’m realizing they can own their own healing; to engage with it, or not, and how they choose to engage, what that looks like for them. This is not easy to do, but it gets easier, the more I see how much more effective it is in freeing them up to actually heal (again, in their own way). Not gonna mislead; they can also choose NOT to heal at all, and that can bring on some situations that are VERY challenging as a parent. But, here’s another key aspect of this; as I heal and become more resilient, their tough situations become less overwhelming for me to witness, and to engage with them over. It’s a process, and there is no finish line, probably, but I just want to share that it DOES become more rewarding, more manageable, the more you, yourself become whole. AND your kids very likely will also gain wholeness and have more goodness in their lives, which is all we really want as parents, right?

[@jillvanderhoeven9418]

@@erstwhile3793Thank you! This helps me really a lot. I’m so dysregulated and I see same things with my kids. I’m so sad, worried, feeling so much guilt and feel complete powerless to help them being so ill myself.

[@sherif138]

I watched this late but I have a question I was hoping to get answered, is it possible to be in shut down/freeze and still/also be in a hyper vigilant state?

[@IreneLyon]

Yes. 100%. Both can be within the system. When I spoke about syndromes troubles like gut troubles, autoimmune, and migraines for example, this is usually the level of dysregulation happening internally. Be sure to watch the three part healing trauma series I mentioned as it dives more into this. Take care. Irene.

[@ninakenny3586]

How can we get one of your therapists for treatment?

[@liz.a314]

Irene is it safe to assume that most people are dealing with unhealed trauma in our world? Seems like even if you were blessed with a pretty stellar development, the society and schooling system would add complexities to that layer. Just curious 🤔

[@teamlyon3109]

Hey Liz, Seth here with team Lyon. Sorry, just seeing this comment now. YES!!! The norms of our industrialized society are toxic and lead to living in survival mode, and the norms of developing nations are often also toxic and dangerous and also often lead to living in survival mode. Most people in the world are living with some form of unresolved trauma for sure.

[@liz.a314]

@@teamlyon3109 🙏

[@anaquariusgirl]

How does a chronically low Heart Rate Variability and the nervous system work? Which side is under stress, and what should I do?

[@teamlyon3109]

Hi Nikkol Gomez, Jen here from Team Lyon. The research on the relationship between HRV and nervous system states is growing, and it's still relatively new. Generally speaking low HRV can be indicated of being in a survival state. This could be a more activated (sympathetic nervous system) state, being in conservation physiology (what is often known as freeze) and a mix of both. While HRV will likely be low in these states, there are changes in the other waves as well. The short answer to what you should do is grow nervous system regulation and capacity! This is what Irene teaches in her online course and program, and what you can also do by working with a trained nervous system practitioner. If you haven't yet seen Irene's free Healing Trauma video series, that can be a great place to start. I'll link to it here in case you want to check it out. Healing Trauma video training - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma

[@anaquariusgirl]

@@teamlyon3109 Thank you, I think I have watched it but I will watch it again. I know that HRV reflects your rate of recovery and may be the reason why I have extreme fatigue even after sleeping 7-9 hrs.

[@adriannesist9515]

@@anaquariusgirl have you had any improvemenf with this ? I went through a virus and a lot of stress and I have a watch that tracks my hrv. Before I got sick it was perfect and now its so bad :( please share if you have had any improvements

[@jacquelineharshbarger3720]

I hear tones during your presentation. Do you have subliminal messaging going? you are presenting good stuff. It is sometimes unbelievable when childhood traumas still affect me, my body, thoughts and actions. Along with all that, realized many memories, dysfunctional relationships, on, and on was brought on by an uncle, my mother's brother that molested, etc. me at three. I figured out why I have always just called my brother, brother. he was named after my mom's brother. i used to say "Don't you know your pose to take care of me". The adults would laugh and say oh, he is your favorite uncle. I was crying out something was not right. It is crazy, as a child, we want to be adults. As adults we want to be kids again. Like it is said we spend our life time trying to get over our childhood. I am proud to know why I am the way I am. I am o.k. with the fight or flight mentality... I am a survivor, and will survive when SHTF!

[@teamlyon3109]

Hi Jacqueline Harshbarger, Jen here from Team Lyon. Great to hear Irene's presentation resonated with you. As far as I know, Irene does not use subliminal messaging. As you shared, these childhood experiences and patterns can effect us the whole of our lives if we don't get the support we need to heal. The good news is that we're now finding healing and change is possible even late in life. There's a lot of strength and aliveness to be harnessed in those fight, flight, freeze responses!

[@lisaperkins7807]

Been on the journey to long an just tried, of trying to heal but recycling the same crap, can not sleep i do not want go though this on going trying not take meds, it gone bad to bad,done with healing if csn notget together.

[@IreneLyon]

@lisaperkins7807, Jen here from Irene's team. I hear you about being tired of recycling the same old crap. Trauma can wreak havoc on our ability to live, and it can often feel like all one's energy needs to go into simply surviving. I hope you've found some things on Irene's channel that have helped you to understand what's happening and have planted some seeds of hope that things can change. I'll share a link to a brief interview with Patti, one of Irene's students who shares openly about her experience. It came to mind when I read your comment. Breaking through Fear via Somatic Self-Touch - kzbin.info/www/bejne/p3bXXmppepplps0

[@bernadettereed844]

Irene, I have chronic pain because of disc herniations in my neck and nerve root compressions. This is neurological pain with burn out and depression PTSD. The pain is traumatising on a daily basis. Can your work help given I have potential scar tissue and I am not sure if the pathology can change. I am certainly in freeze around the base of my neck and thoracic inlet area of my top ribs. Nothing is really releasing yet even with weeks of cranial osteopathy. The pain has been so intense there is terror about it returning and where that takes the mind. Is it possible to send you a private message? Thank you.

[@evaaiken9057]

I am healing from SSRI withdrawal. It’s been VERY HARD. I’m tingling in my legs and feet. How do I heal this?

[@IreneLyon]

Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. I'm very sorry to hear that and thank you for sharing. For medical concerns we advise you consult with a healthcare professional, as Irene and her team are not doctors or psychiatrists. However, we can recommend Irene's free resources as a good place to start healing your nervous system in an organic way. You can find them all here: irenelyon.com/free-resources/ Please feel free to reach out to our support inbox for any questions.

[@Scorpio-dv4ti]

I'm a 52 year old woman. Single, addict, functioning. Looking for a painless solution to quit using. Why did I start and how do I heal?

[@IreneLyon]

Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. If you're interested in this nervous system healing work, you can start with Irene's free resources irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/

[@faye9731]

im really dissociated/ depersonalised i feel no connection to anything and there's constant anxiety i dont know how to start calming when its so high and the idea of trying is so anxiety filled

[@teamlyon3109]

Hi Faye, Jen here from Team Lyon. Sometimes starting with just small shifts in attention can be helpful when we feel disconnected and/or anxious. I'll link to a few of Irene's free resources. You might also check our her 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up. It's an introductory course that teaches you how to start to grow nervous system regulation and capacity. Ancient Anxiety Medicine - kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZnqmpJWOiqh-o68 4 Surpisingly Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm... - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/ 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com

[@faye9731]

@@teamlyon3109 thank you i shall try them

[@sandrajaniszeski8683]

Wanting to heal from me/cfs

[@IridescentJen]

same, and it is helping me. iʻve been working the programs, after going through ALL of ireneʻs youtube channel, for a year and a half. it is slow progress but definitely helping me cope and manage better. my nervous system is so shattered it will take time and working the resources, and i know long term this is a lifeline for me,

[@asawennerstrom76]

So do i.. I have me/cfs and a lot of anxiety.

[@teamlyon3109]

Hi Sandra Janiszeski, Jen here from Team Lyon. Many people come to this work looking to heal from ME/CFS and other long-term chronic illness. If you haven't yet seen Irene's free Healing Trauma video series, that can be a great place to start. Irene also recently did an interview with a functional medicine practitioner that might be of interest. Free Healing Trauma video series - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma When Love is not enough... - kzbin.info/www/bejne/o3LSapigntSUl5I

[@syhi7971]

Someones talking in the background? Weird sounds going on in the background. Maybe the recording, maybe the mic.

[@KatJ3st]

I think I'm a cortisol addict.

[@paulgeorge9228]

30:51 maybe how introverts,are,created