Best HFY Reddit Stories: Outsourced Warfare (r/HFY)

Changing the dynamic of warfare!
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/DamascusSeraph_
/ outsourced_warfare
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I am the Net Narrator. I will be narrating various tales from around the internet, which may be spooky, may be creepy, may be funny, may be awesome or may be something else. Stick around and play me while bored at work and enjoy!
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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[@NetNarrator]

Alright, I've seen the comments and looks like I missed a spot. It was probably an error in editing and I'll see if I can redo it and fix it down the road. You guys can calm down now!

[@marakevans3984]

unkalm

[@a177rhythm2]

NO YOU SHALL FACE A DECADE-LONG WAR AGAINST YOUR SOVEREIGNITY FOR DARING TO DEFY THE PERFECT COMPOSITION OF THESE SCRIPTS WHICH YOU HAVE PROFANED WITH YOUR VILE INACCURACY yeah actually, you do miss or replace words and phrases periodicall, but this is a natural folley any reader is guilty of. I frequently have to pause and read, because I jump paragraphs ahead while reading when particularly engrossed in the tale. And you tend to pick the good ones. Of the few such voiceover channels (when will KZbin abandon that outdated title?) I've seen, gifted to me by the Almighty Algorithm you're my favorite so far for just getting to the fucking point. You read it aloud quickly enough to follow along, and don't bother with any bullshit before or after. Honestly, your purity is refreshing.

[@ProjectNetoku]

Screams in space monkey

[@AFriend21]

Thank for telling this story :)

[@broEye1]

Is it bad that my favorite part was all the ad jokes?

[@jmoneyjoshkinion4576]

The like and subscribe was cut off, like most that I watch.

[@Crazael]

@@jmoneyjoshkinion4576 I tend to let those play while I'm busy checking out the comments.

[@jmoneyjoshkinion4576]

@@Crazael usually here I do let that play, but on most others I skip that part because of the commercials.

[@EloquentTroll]

It made me smile

[@jonnypena7651]

Ad in a private website nonetheless.

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

You cannot tell me there weren´t a few dwarves collecting naming ideas at the discussion table: "rockstoner corporation", "brown dwarf Navy", the planet of the shipyard being named Hoxxis. One similarity is happenstance, two are coincidence, three are dwarvish action Rock´n´Stone

[@illusiveelk2558]

I knew I wasn't crazy!

[@makethomas752]

Did I hear a Rock and Stone!

[@Reaper_Rin]

Rock and stone brutha!

[@illusiveelk2558]

For Karl!

[@DaBlueIghuana]

Exactly *Rock and Stone!*

[@koroplays3200]

I really wish hfy writers would learn a bit about things. Railguns are not weak little baby weapons, the more power you put into a rail gun the harder it hits.

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

but the more power you put in, the worse it is for weapon maintenance. That´s what is currently holding them back.

[@koroplays3200]

@@biggsdarklighter0473 ya that kinda how guns work

[@koroplays3200]

@@biggsdarklighter0473 and no what's holding back railguns presently is power generation and storage

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

@@koroplays3200 as well as maintenance. You can't tell me it isn't expensive to get New copper rails every two to three shots.

[@koroplays3200]

@@biggsdarklighter0473 it is, not in a world where you gave faster light travel though. But are you telling me firing a gun that launches a ball of plasma which is very fucking hot is cheaper to maintain?

[@damaskusseraph6046]

Author here: First. Also great voice man thanks for reading my story

[@micky1578]

A good story mate, keep it up

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

Was by any chance DRG an inspiration for the mercenary companies names? Especially the rockstoner corporation and the brown dwarf Navy?

[@fergusabrams1012]

Excellent story sir.

[@PeoplecallmeLucifer]

you really had to make the future so bleak not even ALIENS can escape from adds!!!

[@3PercentNeanderhal]

Great story, I'll watch for your next one.

[@krimsonsun10]

9:53 Try dating back to the age of sail. My friends family have had a person in the navy since the war of 1812 that he can trace back. I talked to a english friend of mine who told me his great great grandfather fought at Trafalgar, he is now a Midshipman in the British royal navy.. poor mercs gave us a reason to fight someone other than ourselves.. God help them.

[@The_Viscount]

I met a guy, a German, his family had been military since the days of the Holy Roman Empire. Ritter, his surname, means knight, and even with the decline of the Nobility, his family had served in the various militaries through to today. That's a millennium of military service.

[@illusiveelk2558]

Holy sh!t

[@staticbuilds7613]

Mine dated back to 1066 and the last fought in ww2

[@TheDurid1]

Nice to remember that wars are primarily extreme forms of culture clashes. The mercenaries were so focused on the coin, that they didn't understand how others couldn't be. I'm sure some merc groups could have been folded into local governments. And much loss of life could have been avoided if terrans trained other military for the xenos.

[@whatsagoodusername823]

Love this, especially the part where they- [Playing Advertisement] MY FRIEND, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE A-

[@caminatior]

"Thank you for coming to my TED Talk"

[@DepressedCrow]

The rise and fall of PMCs, history repeats itself

[@MrWhite320]

Reading that last cutoff had to be a little painful.

[@shovel662]

These mercs remind me of the medieval companies from Italy. Though if they were like a modern PMC, they’d be mostly training poorer nations militaries to do counterterrorism.

[@WallNutBreaker524]

Describes Black Rock of America, but not sure about Wagner Group of Russia currently, considering the Wagner Group are the vanguard or spearheaders of the RAFs attacks against a NATO backed countries standing army.

[@johanmetreus1268]

@@WallNutBreaker524 you make even less sense than Lavrov trying to explain the bombing of the maternity ward.

[@windbeneathmywings4884]

Hide your beard behind fancy words all ye like, but I know a fellow dwarf when i see one. Rock and Stone, brotha!

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

Did I hear a Rock and Stone?

[@PolymurExcel]

It’s like the Barbary Wars but in space. Same ending too.

[@thelaughinghyenas8465]

That was a good story. Thank you for bringing it.

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@yurifier9649]

Loved it (Been a lurker)

[@WallNutBreaker524]

Same.

[@brianlips8346]

Thanks for a great reading

[@macpurdy]

For the algorithm and the narrator.

[@blikizz9355]

Human peacefully annex aliens nation

[@machinist7230]

They poked the murderhobos. 😭 Don't poke the murderhobos. 😎

[@WallNutBreaker524]

5:14 all because of a misunderstanding 😂

[@BaronB.BlazikenBaronOfBarons]

There’s a Metal Gear Solid joke here somewhere, but I’m not smart enough to find it.

[@blackjohn1303]

Ads are eternal.

[@Cosmopolantic]

If the story make me legitimately mad, its a good story

[@charliedulol]

14:44 hey! you missed an entire... a couple phrases.

[@Adiscretefirm]

Populous and populace sound alike, but mean different things.

[@peterwall8191]

Re-upload, still good though.

[@WiredTurkey316]

Down with the industrial educational complex. Pay Teachers with patreon and plushie sales

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@Leoluvesadmira]

I was actually hoping for would you like to know more?

[@a177rhythm2]

"comment" i guess this helps the algorithm? just met you and I largely prefer your faster reading rate conpared to other readers of these stories.

[@fonzdevries4575]

F'ing hell...Adds (skip) Hey YT, learn

[@tylerbremer6696]

The password is swordfish

[@lee-jj1js]

If the "good guys" label you terorists you done effed up.

[@billrich9722]

The word “mercenary” has lost all meaning to me now.

[@WallNutBreaker524]

Why?

[@billrich9722]

@@WallNutBreaker524 It was used too many times unnecessarily in this video.

[@halogeek6]

Around 15:00 he skips an entire 2 lines of writing. This is not the first mistake. Earlier in the video he called the marines marcinaries. Tho I can forgive that considering the context. Hopefully this is a one off. I like this channel. But I'm not gonna keep watching if he isn't even gonna bother properly reading the story's I came for.

[@babla69420]

Look up agro squrril channel, his narration is way more dramatic

[@illusiveelk2558]

Agro is more dramatic, but I think net puts more into characters.

[@halogeek6]

@@babla69420 oh I know. Agro and his inability to follow the script is why I have zero tolerance for it now.

[@gabrielandradeferraz386]

@@babla69420 I hate agro squrril. his narration is absolutely unbearable.

[@Shythalia]

@@gabrielandradeferraz386 I tried listening to one of his videos 2 years ago and no offense to Agro but, I could not stand his generic British tv documentary narrator voice. There was barely any emotion, but then again, I only listened to 6-10 minutes of it. Maybe he's improved now. I think Net here does a better job but it does bother me a tiny bit when he messes up a few words. This is my first time knowing he missed actual sentences.

[@AszBlaster1802]

The keyboard was a nice touch

[@RamboVital]

Wait... was this a KZbin video inside of a KZbin video?

[@hanro50]

Temper temper ss Stablance B996