Never dwell in despair for longer than necessary

[@MargrietS]

Despair is just a friend who is coming to visit me once in awhile, just like all the other emotions. Once I could truly see and feel that, she’s allowed in, can stay for a little while, and then I wave her goodbye.

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

Perfect metaphor.

[@MargrietS]

@@EmmyvanDeurzen I do give her a cup of tea first, I’m a good host 😃

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

@ she needs that care.

[@luna_rkive]

Emmy, I recently discovered you. I am a 29 yr old trying to find the lost spark after being unemployed, depressed, stuck and spending years in finding what I truly want to do in life though I enjoyed staying countryside and living slow life but I ve always known that my true potential is somewhere hidden inside and I need to come out of the comfort zone and break out of shell. I am ought to take risks with courage and faith. You are truly an inspiration and I come here to your channel daily to listen one video per day. It feels like you are my spirit guide(idk if you believe in those). Thank you a million for existing and putting out the wisdom. You are giving me motivation to live better.

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

Delighted to be your spiritual guide and help you relight the spark inside.

[@fuelfireiron]

I needed to hear this today. Thank you for your message.

[@bokehintheussr5033]

I love listening to Chopin because it sounds to me that he would switch from hope to despair, and back to hope again with each bar of music. Emotional depth and resilience perfectly expressed through the language his music.

[@subjecttochange2069]

Thank you for your wisdom 💜

[@Renesmee000]

Thank you so, so much. ❤ Thanks for being my „consultant“ and being my „whisper of experience“ (practicing to be my own whisper of experience and your whisper helps A LOT).

[@rodoxrangel]

Thank you very much dear Emmy! Indeed, we really can't let ourselves fall into despair and you, in your unique way, have always brought us an important reflection to help us believe in ourselves. Right now I'm trying to get back to many things, and it's been hard to get back to them. Sometimes we romanticize starting over, but it can be harder than the beginning itself. Starting over is necessary but sometimes it requires more effort. Getting out of inertia requires effort and confidence so as not to fall into the despair of seeing the days passing by and you unable to get back to them. I appreciate your reflections! Thanks a lot!

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

All very true and the sooner we make a small start and crank ourselves up again and the easier it gets.

[@mickrozycki451]

Could you tell me more about your despair? Perhaps we can help each other understand through some correspondence. : )

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

@ I hope one of the many good people in this community responds to your invitation.

[@Maddie2u]

Yep, that's exactly how I feel.....at 68 I have no energy, no desire and have no idea what would even be worth the effort.

[@shaash5236]

Very clever advice. Much appreciated. Thankyou ❤

[@dramathompson9053]

This is precisely what I needed to hear! Thank you, Emmy!

[@RIPLEYTHEBAND]

"Don't make a pact with despair" = Wow!! Thank you, Emmy! ❤ I wonder, is this idea what William Styron was illustrating in Darkness Visible?

[@katharinatrub1338]

Yes we do need existential curage,and yes noone else can do more for oneself than ourself. So good to be reminded of, and on top of that in such a soothing, calming voice. Thank you Emmy!

[@Nathaliann]

Thank you, it's something that stops us without even realizing it

[@kitkat81818]

3:06 So poignantly captured - 'Despair is a suspension of the future.' 'It is a postponement of action, and of desire, and also an alienation and estrangement from your own capacities and your own ability to make amends, or start again, or do things a little bit better next time around.' Thank you, Emmy. After being in a job-seeking rut for the past half year, I have landed a job interview for a position I deeply desire and could have a big impact on my early career. Two days away and I feel my despair and self-doubt creeping in. I surrendered to it momentarily, allowing it to 'mellow me out' as you said. Now, I will take a breath and commit to the work of preparing myself the best I can in these last few days.

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

@@kitkat81818 with that attitude you will land the right job before too long.

[@kitkat81818]

@ thank you ☺️ have a wonderful day with Bruno filled with W-A-L-K-S and licks!

[@kitkat81818]

@ hi Emmy, I wanted to share with you that I landed the job! (As well as a second offer!) Thank you for the extra dose of strength & grounding 🌟🫶🏼

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

@ Applause! I am delighted for you. So well done. Keep going.

[@TCW1977]

❤ this

[@michaelconnolly7681]

Another excellent video. Your videos are so good.

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

Much appreciated.

[@splashmagnetism5923]

Hard hitting. Thank you Emmy

[@wibble417]

Thank you Emmy.

[@SamuraiJack-s7m]

Thank you for awakening my spirit 😊😅❤❤😂

[@SamuraiJack-s7m]

You have given me my self-confidence 6:10 back 😂❤🎉😊

[@ann5944]

i needed to hear this ❤ thank you

[@SjorsHoukes]

This one feels specifically targeted at me 😂 Despair is my everyday. I will tolerate it a while longer while my nervous system recovers from depression, and then find the strength to make changes.

[@jenniferdouglas-craig1095]

Thank you❤

[@naghammadi321]

Thank you! Love and Blessings to you and yours from Australia ❤🌟🇦🇺👑

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

@@naghammadi321 blessings flying right back.

[@lucytodd50]

Hi Emmy, im loving your talks - so helpful. I am grieving the loss of my son and often feel deep despair. Does this advice apply to grief? All the grief advice says surrender to your pain - not a lot of hope there. Lastly, could i request more talks on grief please? It is surely the most painful experience in life. Thank you and much love to you Emmy❤

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

@@lucytodd50 I hear you and will add it to my list.

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

Have you see this one: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bGbMeIKwgKqcgtUsi=hco3NHdd0nigwGLD

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

And this one: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z2rFf5mneZ2moacsi=yVPhgS__mc9WOkNv

[@lucytodd50]

​Thank you so much for your kind reply Emmy. Yes, these videos are very helpful. I feel very stuck and lethargic in my grief, not knowing how to move forward (it's been just a year) so have found your other video " stop feeling incapacitated and process your problems" good too. Best wishes to you xx @@EmmyvanDeurzen

[@figgettit]

i wish my parents could watch this

[@florence7743]

Thank you to be there Emmy❤

[@Lifewithlisa44]

Thank you so much for this ❤😊

[@skolelsa1]

You came like a rescuing angel for me right now! Thankyou!!❤️🙏

[@susanmarieshenton7876]

Thankyou very much Emmy🎉❤

[@marylynch951]

Thank you Emmy God bless you always ❤❤❤

[@karenlaterf8088]

I find your videos encouraging to an extent. I have despaired for so very long a time, that I don't see a future. I'm at a point in life where I know there are certain things that you don't get second chances at, or can't do better next time. I can't reconcile those facts, so now believe there is no point except despair.

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

@@karenlaterf8088 We do get second chances though. Not in exactly the same way, but in new ways. There are infinite new possibilities to get things right, as long as you are willing to go down that path, instead of giving up on yourself.

[@deborahcouzensVEGAN4animals]

I am certainly trying dear Emmy. Thank you

[@clarissaywy]

I know its necessary to feel your emotions in order to let them go in a healthy way. But how long should I do that and when should I let go of those emotions? I don't want to keep or suppress my own emotions.

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

It's a very good question and on the whole emotions are pretty fleeting, i.e. we pass from one emotion to another within minutes or hours at most. But you are really more speaking of moods here now, I think. Sometimes, once we are in a certain mood, it is hard to shake ourselves into a different mood for days. Music is extremely helpful, as our walks in nature, art, journalling, or speaking to a friend or therapist.

[@AnthonyMcCaul-c9g]

Thank you Emmy, your advice is very timely for me! 🙏

[@mickrozycki451]

I still want to be an artist but I'm so afraid... I wish I could trust myself. : (

[@amandachapman4708]

The moment you make art, you are an artist. Even if you dislike what you produce, you are an artist. Sometimes you will make art that you love, and that is the reward for never giving up.

[@evagrosz1621]

Wonderful and encouraging message !

[@darya5293]

Oh my God, my Friend, how timely or is, thank you. I've just started sliding...

[@Maddie2u]

Me too

[@karendowie2741]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Your soul shines through your eyes, l don’t see that often, except in children. You give me hope.

[@NatureHeadSupreme]

Preach

[@micgarn3331]

❤ thank you fellow spirit

[@GretaMyers]

Thank you! I've been listening to your videos and really appreciate them.

[@A.jamil86]

thank you,🙏

[@ikkinrosario]

Thank you so much 😔 these are such powerful reminders

[@marylynch2510]

❤

[@user-ik2no7jw5g]

Thank you. 🥰

[@lorrainetaylor8570]

Thankyou Emmy 😊

[@Max.Wiggins]

glorious message

[@marysykes3143]

🙏♥️🙏♥️

[@dorothygale5032]

Wow you are amazing xxx

[@christinetaylor70]

it creeps up on you. The slope

[@robindouglas5450]

❤❤😊! You tell 'em! Keep the crew motivated and uplifted Emmy! Right on! 😊❤❤

[@MikeGathercole]

Do the maintenance and repair and then enjoy the fruits of your labor.

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

well said.

[@MikeGathercole]

@EmmyvanDeurzen I am an actual handyman 😊

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

@@MikeGathercole I could tell you were speaking from experience! It's no different with our lives than with our homes.

[@MikeGathercole]

@@EmmyvanDeurzen that's what I think. 💪

[@yuliaantonenkovolkovamd552]

You are the most beautiful woman amd person Mother I've never had ❤

[@leighwiseman8389]

Thank you so much x

[@Rudayna88]

Thank you! ❤❤❤

[@cjrideson]

Good.

[@junkettarp8942]

Guru Emmy.

[@cuddlemuff6632]

Reminds me of when Christian sank into the Slough of Despond in The Pilgrim's Progress as, he sank under the weight of his perceived sins and guilt. This is why Existential courage and Paganism are worth understanding and putting into practice.

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

Pilgrim's Progress is a wonderful existential guide!

[@Roobs7156]

I wish I could but I'm hurt deeply soul hurt and rooted hurt

[@EmmyvanDeurzen]

Take time to heal those roots. Spend time with trees and learn from them how they mend their roots and branches all the time. Souls are stronger than any human hurt. Honour yours and it will show you the way.

[@trishbirchard1270]

Is it high tide? 🌖😍🌎❤️💚🥰💜💙🧡