Never eat the human first | 2443 | Best of HFY & Humans Are space Orcs

Original Story:
/ never_eat_the_human_first
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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:07 Never eat the human first by TRMerc
#ScienceFiction #Storytime #scifi
Music Tracks From KZbin Audio Library:
GROWTH_DECAY - Density & Time
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY or Humanity Feck, Yea , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture. In These stories Humans are often referred to as Human, Humanity, Deathworlder, Hellwolder in reference to the human planet of origin , Earth. This planet is seen by most of the universe as a place where only death and chaos can survive.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
Humans Are Space Orcs (HASO) or Humans Are (Fantasy Race) Are used as a guide when writing.
In these Stories we normally View humans like the other races view orcs in a Fantasy Novel. We (Humans) share the same characteristics and personalities as orcs. Humans are normally treated as the outsiders and barbarians. Humans tend to be underestimated as well in these stories. Unlike Humanity Feck Yea , these don't always put a positive spin on humans\humanity sometimes looking at the darker side of human and humanity from the perspective of aliens.
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Sevaren Serberous
Sevaren Serberous

[@merlinathrawes746]

Gee, the human has surprising survival skills. And managed to tame a predatory beast that saved the first officer. Who'd have thunk it? A right cross is a small price to pay.

[@Shadow.Dragon]

Great story; Excellent narration! In the far future, every alien ship will have a human in a stasis box that is label "In case of Emergency, break glass!" LOL!!!

[@davidtrammel]

That idea would make a great story. I can imagine some temp company which hires humans out in the canisters, so the human doesn't know which kind of ship they are on until the the pod opens on an emergency.

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

In case of emergency, activate Human and Stand Well Back from cryo pod, or pods Follow all HSBU/Human orders. And if your Human Survival Bio Unit bonds with a creature of any type, or size. Make sure you bond with it as well, and least feed it scritches and pats, and bits of food, until your HSBU says the bonding words "Ah its so cute, Fang, Killer, etc likes you." "Who's a good boy/girl!" "You are, You are!" This comment and actions of the pet directed towards you, will keep you safe from your new pet/pack bond, as well as make sure your HSBU sees you as a member of its pack to be protected and kept safe until rescue comes.

[@MarijnvdSterre]

Interesting idea, though you would have to find a way to deal with a very angry human I would think xD

[@garysmith3037]

Additional label: This is not emergency rations.

[@undauntedthud6872]

@@barelyasurvivor1257 Marius Els, 40, an army major, was bitten to death by the 1.2 tonne hippo he christened Humphrey and tried to domesticate from a baby. True Story! Earth is a great training ground.

[@kalskirata42]

FO: "Hey, human... if you hadn't gone hunting that first day, you would've been our food... we're sorry." H: *nods, lips pursed* "Understandable, since we were completely fragged for supplies, however..." *WHACK* "Next time, you include me in those talks, alright?" *pats shoulder, walks off with group for drinks*

[@trmerc7635]

Of course, more are planned as the first officer wasn't the only one who decided on the human first.

[@syncringe1885]

Most likely EXACTLY how that right hook happened.

[@bobsterclause342]

Like vore? Bonk?

[@theshadyprotector8412]

Given the nature of these space survival stories. I think it might behoove the Terran race to teach wilderness survival to space travelers.

[@garysmith3037]

Could be a good series. Alien youth scouts.

[@mattbrown5511]

Can't those that don't want to be taught.

[@JamesSavik]

Nice kitty! 😾 Please don't eat our shipmates.

[@merlinathrawes746]

Give that Bill called it a Worg, I'd say it was more of a canine.

[@trmerc7635]

@@merlinathrawes746 Why not both?

[@trmerc7635]

Thanks for picking this story. I'm glad people are enjoying it.

[@someoneawesome8717]

"no you can't keep the space kitty"

[@Jason-sm4oc]

"Do you want to try and stop me?"

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

Space puppy - they called it a worg. Understandable mistake though, since most people think of zoomies as cat behavior, but dogs can get zoomies too.

[@jeanannd]

Good story. Would have liked to have had the author tell us what was done with the pet? kept her, successfully re-introduced her to the wild?

[@chrstfer2452]

Furever friend of the hooman is my headcanon

[@garysmith3037]

Sounds like if the human knew about their plan, it could have turned into a Deadliest Game/Predator situation.

[@randomstranger9674]

Well written TRMerc.

[@trmerc7635]

Thank you.

[@Piterdeveirs333]

Humans be walking

[@johnnyrotten3175]

Humans be chasing

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Oh good, I thought the eating stories were going a bit far, this one only hinted at that before becoming a much more inspiring tale of survival.

[@timobrien2813]

Good story and reading, thank you. UKUK

[@EricTheKei]

'Oomies ain't no good fer eatin'. Now, dis 'ere al-rythm thing, it's tasty!

[@MidnightSmoke]

Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, for the laugh, to help your channel grow, to appease the great and powerful KZbin algorithm demon, and get you the recognition you deserve.

[@terrigunn4947]

Hmmmm...bet he stayed with Fang.

[@mattbrown5511]

Good luck trying to separate that giant wolf away the alpha male of the pack.

[@Harry-lq5hu]

Very nice !!!

[@Kirsten2933]

My best one yet! Like number four! Also, my favorite number ☺️ 🇨🇦😎👍

[@techristopher8077]

Marvelous telling, cute story. I trust this is post treatment

[@eyllyssaunders5345]

Lovely story

[@Ryu_D]

Thank you for the video.

[@ChangelingDJ]

Basically, the human laughed then socked him.. Sounds about right.

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

Fang is so cute! I want one! I bond easily with pets. Dogs, Cats, Fangs, etc

[@luzifershadres]

The Human be like: No bad blood bro. I would had eaten that Selàrian crewmember if i wouldnt had found food. The Second in comand: Pew, luckly im wasnt the only one with that idea.

[@gregmchurch]

Great. Now I want a horse sized canid.

[@danielhall6578]

its a feline, not a canid. all of the behaviors were those of a house cat at first

[@trmerc7635]

@@danielhall6578 Why not both?

[@garysmith3037]

I'm not sure. Seemed more like wolf behavior. Viewing others as part of a pack. Going for the throat. Fits more with humans domesticating wolves than cats.

[@goldengryphon]

@@danielhall6578 Housecats and many other large felines form pack bonds. The most obvious are lions, but tigers and medium cats do, too. It's a more universal trait than most people realize. Maybe it's one of the reasons cats were able to adapt as well as they did.

[@trmerc7635]

​@@garysmith3037Even house cats can have that view. Cats that bring kills to their owners think they need help as they are bad hunters.

[@IAINANDERSEN]

Your voice out right after your greeting

[@joseph1150]

I appreciate that you link the original stories so that the creator gets attention. Some of the other narrators don't. There are a couple others that just use AI trained with HFY to ghost write their stories.

[@td6647]

Great job Agro, keep picking good ones to narrate and I'll keep listening!😊

[@oldbutnotdead1]

I wonder if you could make the algorithm a pet? Nah...

[@anathardayaldar]

The algorithm has no loyalty or morality.

[@Jakes3130]

Thanks man, keep making it happen bro

[@Avigorus]

Still hoping to hear you read Humans Are Omnivores by Forsaken-Stray

[@Dragoon_Duma]

Hey Agro!

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

[@anathardayaldar]

Oh no, did they abandon Fang?

[@GR3YD3ATH]

🐕🐕🐕

[@Lucian00311]

Great story! The story says worg, but i'm imagining a tiger?

[@merlinathrawes746]

Worgs are more like giant wolves. So I'm inclined to think canine.

[@loganshaw4527]

Ya or a large wolf.

[@kitsunegolem1925]

1000th like

[@yermanoh]

PUPPY

[@williamhealey1223]

👍

[@TheRealInscrutable]

Why is the subscriber counter stuck at 106K? Is KZbin metering how many new people get to see content?

[@TheRealInscrutable]

200K

[@russellperry9902]

Nice eating theme today... are you trying to see if you can motivate your audience to fatten up for the invasion? LOL

[@HeilTec]

👍 I thought the numbers were funny, so I went back and looked at the "First Officers log 6146 489 xxx" and confirmed: Sequence is broken at one place. ... 679, 682, 674, 676 ... I like numbers. Not as much as Paul Erdős and not with perfect recall. Wonder how many other listeners noticed the 'star dates' 🤔💭

[@johnnyrotten3175]

4 D 🐿️ ❗ ❗ 4 D author ❗ 4 D algorithm

[@earmunchermuncher7639]

Fta

[@merlinwizard1000]

4TH, 1 July 2024

[@wallyw3409]

Number of HFY channels i need to block a day. Cheap AI voices will not replace u anytime soon.

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

They will never replace the Squirrel, he is just so good, with voices, tone, etc.